The Middleburgh post. (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, April 17, 1902, Image 7

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    WITH A LAHE BAG ?
moej Trotble Xsla Tim Kbenbk.
AtmMt everybody who raada fee m
IS sure to mivw m uQ vvwBrnu
I, cures muM Djr Dr.,
IU KUnMr'sSwunRogf,
II na rreu aianejr. Over
li and bladder remedy.
- ii is me great meB
ea! triumph of the ntna
tecnth century: dis
covered after jreara oi
scientific research by
Dr. Kilmer, the emi
nent kidney and blad
der crwft aiul la
wonderfully successful in promptly curing
umt bck, kidney, bladder, uric acid trou
v... nd Brlehfs Disease, which la the worst
f.pn of kidney trouble.
" Dr. Kilmer s Swamp-Root Is not rec
j.JlnMinriklnkitt If .. L.. UU
k ivcr or Diaaaer irouoie 11 wilt DO found
j i t.i i .
the nmeay yuu nccu.- iiauDceaiesiea
n S3 many waJrs ,n haapltal ork, tn private
tn;tice, among me neipicss 100 poor to pur-
ElUSe ICIICI an i vwV0WIUI 111
Every case that a special arrangement has
F " '.Am kumrktrh all rafra
Lbs have not already tried It, may have a
Unple bottle sent free by mail, also a book
Idling wore aoout owamp-Koot and how to
f.r.i out it you navo money or Diaaaer uouDie.
h'i,i writine mention reading? this reneroua
(fer in wis paper ana
end your aaaress 10
)r. Kilmer 8too.,Dine-
li-iion. N. T. me
erS,ir fifty cent ana nomof sw-mp-itoaa,
t,V si:cs are sold by all eood druprlsta.
She Had Evidence.
I "If you only bad your place for
hree days. Bridget, what makes you
hink the lady was pleased with
I on. . .
"jUrause she said she was. pleased
Mien I leit, ma am. 1 ankers
lutesman.
A Polite Punch.
Your maple sirup," paid the lady,
hftnis to be a good deal like the qual-
b of mercy."
"Ilnw'tf that? the smiling grocer
l-kecl. expecting a compliment.
It is not straine!.' Chicago Kcc-
Inl-llerald.
She Kxplnln.
"'t. don't tell me Mrs. Brady is to
marri'd agMnl"
"Vie; it's tBriie. 01 knowed yez M
. Minimised at her.
"Fait li. 'tis not at her Oi'm sur-
toised." ruck.
Proved.
Is:iavber Monkton huts he fol-
Iwl your advice about speculating,
lid lost $4,huu by it.
ISintrerly Dirt he? Well, I always
tew lie was a chump. JJetrolt Free
l(S8.
Bad Dancer.
I Ida Did Charley Stumbles tell you
lut he was down at our dance? '
May Yes, and he said he made a
. p impression.
Ula Indeed he did; right on my
-Chicago Daily Jiews.
An I'nklnd Insinuation.
(holly Your father bowed to me
h pleasantly on the street to-day.
Kdith Indeed?. ."Mamma said he'd
Ike some awful blunder it he went
lilwut his glasses. Tit-Bits.
Correct to the Last.
r.Vnyhow," chuckled the somewhat
Iti.li nis liorsethief, as the regn
ts ndjusted the nodne about his
Ik. "it isn't a. readymnde tie."
lago Tribune.
Talked Too Much.
Eiisun nd What makes j-ou so
rse, my dear?
Pife-I attended n meeting of out
ut club this afternoon. Judge.
Their Laughed. -
frs. lirown I hope you didn't let on
I it Aunt Hannah s queer spelling at
Irclii'.i last night.
Ir. r.r. wn 1 m afrnid I did; I could
'jelpit yon know. When I told the
s that she spelled "cough"
Mi" instead of "kawff." I thought
j'd never have done laughing. Bos-
I Transcript.
"oily Qualified. '
Nand (anjrrily What! Morn
y? When I'm dead you'll prob-
rhave t beg for all the money you
life (calmly) Well, I'll be better
an some poor women who never
any practice. Chicago Dally
It Pir-oileil Her.
"n't understand 'about this
ps telegraphy," said Mrs. Wun-
nln In ns itnv " Knlrl Xfr
Wr. "They just send the mes-
I1 through the air, Instead of
Nlres."
know that," said he, "but how
ley fasten the nir to the poles?"
umoro American.
Mlthtlj- Asrents. -
mo lieoplo are iicver satisfied."
frkca the atage carpenter,
'at now?! asked the scene
rr.
IV. I just heard Little Eva soy
fas tir,.,l 0f K0iag tb paradise."
M?o Daily News. . , . . ,
Janea Oil ill r
p. Hunt I suppone June Porter Is
' irutnnu person in town.
I verily believe she would tell the
r"i about her age.
'ike That wouldn't be truth.
f : it would almply be eccentrle-
iwnn Trnnscrljit. "
f'nuunnHy at latereats.
(,.v mid his son and the TCMnw
rd and her daughter are go-
"-nn a community of Interekta."
J mnrrlea the wldnw
"'les the daughter."-aevelan(J
ailT,
eipers
AT cid Fcirr,
IntermUasr ! am wkal tk
KIitk Ukn te KaV Wklajh
- Baded ta taa 11 r4 Kan ad.
A man Just returned from tha aouta
tells this story of a bet between two
darkles of Old Point Comfort: -
Tha traveler was aeated on the gal
lery of tha flygela hotel when ha saw
"Eph" and a blacker companion walk
ing toward the hotel. They wera en
gaged in animated discussion and ges
ticulating expressively, soon getting
near enough to be overheard.
- "I kin name hit fust en' I kin name
hit de quiches', ' said Eph.
. "Unhewn," injected the other, "you
got to tell 'bout what a niggah likes
"STOP. NIQQAH!"
("Fo' C Land, You Atn' Lett Nothln' Tub
Me to Tell!")
tuh eat de ties' ob eberyting on de
yearth mighty slow an purticklar
so's yo' mouf water whiles you talkin.
It cain be name whiles you floppln' up
a nickel."
"Well-you jes go Tiald an' tell," de
fied Eph. "I bet you dis heah copper
'gin' a twis of 'baeenh dat when you
gits thro' yo' gran' 'miration. I kin
name what'll tickle a niggah's palate
mo'n all de Belnezzar feabts."
The stakes were put up and the
black man launched forth on the prize
edible.
"You gits yo' dawg at sun down an'
gits over de fence and you walks 'long
twel you comes to de woods. Den you
sings:
"Possum up de gum stump,
' . Coon down In de holler,
Pretty pal at our house
Fat ey she kin waller."
"Terrecly yo' dog run to sycamo'
tree. You goes up dat tree an you see
a fat young possum. You gits dat pos
sum down (Eph began to look anx
ious), and teks yo' dog an' climb de
fence. When yo' git bock to yn' rr.'oin
you turn in an' bile some water in de
pot en put ashes in hit. Den you tek
an' turn in an' slaps dat possum in de
pot. Den you tek him out, when he
good en hotf an' yo' scrape him an'
scrape him an' scr-a-pe him. Whenyo
gits done scrapin', you hangs Mm out
do'se on' freeze im all night. De nex'
mnwnin' you put him in de pot an' bile
him twel he tender an' den yo' gits out
a pan an' grease hit. Den you turn in
an' tek sweetin'-taters an' put em all
'roun' on de youtside. Den yo' put in
de possum an tek on' turn in an' put
sweetin-'taters nil on de inside an' ret
him on de oben. Preseny you smell
him cookin' mighty nice an juicy
an"
"Stop, niggah!" shouted Eph, In de
spair. "Fode Lawd, you ain't lef- noth
ln fuh me to tell!"
HOGG IS DEMOCTRATIC.
Ex-Governor of Texas Poaltlvcl? Ite
fnses to Wear Knee Breechea
for Kins Edward.
'A dispatch from London to the Chi
cago Tribune, tells of the emphatic re
fusal of ex-Gov. nogg, of Texas, to at
tend a court levee to which he hud been
JAMES S. HOGG.
(Ex-Covcrnor of Texas Objects to Wearing
Knee lirueclus.)
invited by the American ambassador
when he found it would be necessary
to wear the regulation dress of knee
breeches, sword, etc. Mr. Dogg, who
is six feet tall and weighs 400 pounds,
said if he could not wear an ordinary
dress suit he would forego the pleas
ure of meeting King Edward, and re
marked that he "would cnt a pretty
figure in knee breeches."
Mr. Hogg is in London promoting a
Texas oil deal. He was elected attor
ney general of-Texas on the anti-trust
platform, and Inter, as governor, was
the most bitter enemy in the country
of trusts, driving the Standard Oil
compnny out pf Texas and originating
stringent. legislation against -trusts.
When he left the governor's chair
seven years ngo he is snM to hare had
just $33, but since has nmasseda for.
tune of $2,000,000 in oil lands.
Pnenmatle Postal Tnbea.
' Pneumatic postal tubes make alow
progreas in this country. ' In London
there are 83 pneumatic tubes' for the
dispatch of postal packets, and their
aggregate length is 34 miles. .
flip
No use to hunt tigers witr
bird-shot It doesn't hurt'' th(
tiger any and it's awfully HsV
for you.
Consumption is ' a tige
among diseases. It is stealth
but once started it rapidh
eats up the fleslYand' destroy:
the life. No use to go huntinr
it with ordinary food and med
icine. That's only bird-shoi
It still advances. Good heav
charges of Scott's Emulsioi
will stop the advance. The
disease feels that. ;
Scott's Emulsion makes tht
body strong to : resist jL
soothes and toughens the lungs
and sustains the strength until
the disease wears itself out
Send for free sample.
SCOTT & BOWXE, Chemisti, 40a Pnrl St, M. Y.
S"C tud 1 ah ail dr uggut. .
Somen bat Different. 1- )t t
"Tour wealthy uncle who Is dead
Has left you all, I've heard." '
"Well, not exactly all.' " h said.
" 'Entirely1 Is the word." .
Philadelphia Press.
Not CarrlemLr Choaen.
"Why did you select that man aa a
candidate?" asked the henchman.
"He doesn't know anything ' about
politics."
"That's why I selected him," an
swered the boss, "He'll be a great
deal easier to put out of office if he
doesn't be good." Washington Star.
Old Rven Then.
"I tell you, fellow-citizens," shout
ed Demosthenes, "the rich ore con
tinually getting richer and the poor
are getting poorer."
"Oh, chestnut!" circd Tlato. "I
have read that in books on political
economy published centuries ago."
Town Topics.
"C" With a Tail.
The "C" with a tail is the trade
mark of Cascarets Candy Cathartic.
Look for it on the light blue enameled
metal box! Each tablet stamped
C. C. C. Never sold in bulk. All
druggists, ioc.
On of tha Directors.
"They tell me that Jim Muggins is
one of the directors in a big city corpo
ration now," said the grocer.
"Yes; I seen him las' time I was
down to town," said Mr. Meddergrasa.
"He directs the envelopes f'r the nrm."
Baltimore American.
Cross Pnrpoaea.
The hen's a creature most perverse,
Displaying malice deep;
Bhe quits when eggs are needed,
And lays when they an cheap.
Washington Star.
FOUND TUB REA90.
Newsboy rape, papry, sir? All de
news.
Editor (in a rusJi) Go wny, boy, I
tnnke those things.
Newsboy Gcel If dut's right, no
wonder we can't sell 'em! St. Louis
Globe-Democrat.
The Saddeit Yet.
Of all sail words of tonicue or pen,
The saddest are these: "Just loan mc ten."
Detroit Free Press.
Gentle.
Waiter How would you like to hove
your steak, sir?
Meek Customer (who has been wait
ing 20 minutes) Very much, indeed,
thank you, If it isn't top much trouble.
Philadelphia Press.
Jack and Jill.
She The way to a man's heart is
through his stomach.
He The way to a girl's heart is
through her vanity. Yonkers States
man. The Age of Novelty.
Tartley Why don't you get the book
your wife asked you for last week?
Smartlcy She wouldn't read it novr.
There's a new one out ' since then
Town Topics.
Edoeata Tone Dowels With Cascarets.
Canny Cathnrtle, cure constipation forevea
VOo.SSo. If a 0.0. fall, drugglsu refund Bsaea
.Skln-Tlcht.
"He doesn't seem able to get rid of
his loose habits, doea he?"
"Xo; how paradoxical that la."
"What?"
"That loose habit atick tighter to
n man than any other kind." Philadel
phia Press.
UJrty years ago tha aumhar oi
wCl bualo roaming tha .wee ten
Ta raia at tka PUlM WM mot
. than 2,000,000, ae-
itatr -!.. cordlnj thrust.
worthy estimates. In a letter to the
United States senate Secretary of
Agriculture Wilson says the number
of .wild bison now in ' the United
6tatea la about 33, or possibly 92.
The best that he ean promise for
thia race of splendid animate la that
its .extermination may be! delayed
for a considerable period by prompt
congressional ' action. Trade " haa
been chiefly responsible for the wip
ing out of the buffalo herds. In the
single season of 1878-79 over 200,000
hides were shipped down the Mis
souri river. But purposeless hunters,
men whose sole desire was to kill,
soya the Kew York World, have don
their full share of the mischief. Com
merce and "sport," in the reckless
combination which has marked thia
aa the age of extermination, have
robbed the plains of the most ma
jestic of American wild animals. The
elephant is being wiped out of Asia
and Africa. The giraffe is bo near to
extinction that individual specimens
sell for $5,000 to $3,000, where they
would hove brought only $130 or $S00
a quarter of a century ngo. Other
"big gume" everywhere is In peril
of the buffalo's fate.
We shall have so much time to be
sorry when the last ex-monarch of
the plains is gone that we really
ought to take some time and pains to
prolong his stay.
.The old proverb about honor
among thieves has had a staggering
Not Much Honor
Among Thieve.
blow in St. Louis.
The thieves were
certain members
of the city council and a number of
street-railway men, ami it wns be
cause neither side had ony confidence
In the honor of the other that a re
markable case of bribery was most
amusingly disclosed. The railway
men desired Certain franchises, and
put up $130,000 as a corruption fund.
They were afraid, however, to pay it
to the eouncilinen until the council
had voted ns they wished. The cor
rupt eouncilinen, on their part, would
not vote until they hnd the money.
By a compromise, therefore, the fund
wns plnccd in a safety-deposit box
which bad two keys, one of which
was held by eoch party. Neither
could open the box without the co
operation of the other. The council
men voted as they, hnd agreed. Then
the courts interfered, and it was
through the quarrel over the at
tempta of both parties to get the
funds that the whole matter became
public.
Standing on the highest mountain
sny at a height of 20,008 feet, which is
, A slightly over five
Distance One J ,
miles above sea
Can See. on a c,e(ir
day, a mnn can see to a distance of
200 miles. To see objects at a distance
of 100 miles the observer must be
standing at a height of 0,007 feet above
the level of the sen. The rule is that
the distance in miles at which un ob
ject on the earth's surface may be
seen is equal to the square root of
one and one-hnlf times the height of
the observer in feet above sea level,
allowance being made for the effect of
the atmospheric refraction. As the
refraction varies, however, at differ
ent heights nnd also by weather con
ditions, precise accuracy cannot be
given. A deduction of from one-fourteenth
to one-tenth of the distance
given by the rule might probably be
made on account of this refraction.
The census of 1900 dii-closc the inter
esting fact that there are more bach
elors than spinsters in the t'nited
States. This is a reversal of the old
law. Heretofore it lias been asserted
that the spinsters largely outnum
bered the bachelors and that conse
quently thousands were fated to die
la a state of old maidenhood. Hut the
census may renew "the hope of many
of the maids, but for the matter f
thut so many are now able to support
themselves and enjoy a state of free
dom and' independence that they may
not care for matrimony after oil. lint
who, oh who, will now take care of the
toothless, wifeless and helpless old
man?
The r.ewcst word recruit to theKng
lish Iiingunge we owe to the Autonm
bilo club of Great liritiun and Ireland,
says the New York Sim. The new
worddescribing a place where motors
can be Btorcd unci cleaned unci looked
after generally, in borrowed from the
Freuch "jrare," nnd is "garage."
"Motor mews," the London Sketch
suggests, "would be nil right were it
not that the alliteration savors of lev
ity." Vihy not just plain "motory?"
When a similar term was wanted some
yeara ago to describe a bicycle stable
every one applauded the suggestion
"bikery."
Tha city of Taterson, X. J., Ia strug
gling to recover from the effects of
as fire, a flood and a strike, besides
wondering what Is to pome next.
Nobody knows why a horse arises
from the earth on its forelegs first,
aai eon pa lie bind leg.
When You Do Die, Die of Old Me.
rlOCAM BB CURED by oar combine noremeat-eure, hydropathy and Internal trest
seal. W not only maintain but suaiaatea that vlrorotu. Intoncnini health oun be at
Mine by all who, ua4er our alreouoa. strive for It by NATUKALmesu, We mail yo
a IU of qneattoos from which your cane Itdiafaosee by ourataOot phyaieians. Racheaaa
M peoiallT preaar.bed for. If doctors have pronounced you InounMe la any ol tha lull jvlaa
etaea, it will be ol vital Interest to you to eommualoata with iu at oooe.
Bright' Diseass and other Kidney Disease!, Rheumatism, Consumption, Weak
tease of Woman, Lost Manhood, Bladder DLwasei, Piles, Constipation, Blood Dii
ease, Catarrh. Dyspepsia, Piabet.Euilepsy.EtartDiseaie.Iiisomnia, Lirer Disease,
lemu Debility, Sciatica, Asthma, Bilioosnau'nnd General Debility, and all ether
diseases which result from improper liying or ignorance or negleot of the laws of nature.
"The Decleet ol tbe rfayaloal weU
iDcrewe in Insanity asd a dcerease In the
ui. r'BBMRicK j. KinraoM.ol Hartford.
, "Tbeyeure where others have failed. "PHiLAUSLrmal'Hssa.
Their treatment la rational . . . they do all they claim."
' , lHii.DSi.pm Noa-ra AatniCAS.
Diet, exercise and water ar the three peat auratlva agenolra."
. , , ... HSAt.TB JOCRSUL.
An interesting pamphlet of our treatment containing half-tone i.bi ter
.Imonials of persons wj have cured, rent free to all.
THE INSTITUTE OF TIITSICAL SCIENCE, rawrenasTllle, Tioga Co., renn'a.
lis is Hot r Ment Medicine Ad.
DURINQ
HOT WFATHpd
BLUE FLAME
L aa .
New Rochester"
fJOOKINQ under Ibese circumstances ia a nlca-iiM Th Tf 1 .
,v lamp (Jo. s ako their renutntion nn ii, i, a "r- Uocbcuter
bet evidence of the wffi n ostv. The
plicate orders frorVa.l parts of ihe wo,1d te8timouial8 ore and du-
tli. -l&tef fr lLe t.r Cook Stove and
Tcu will .over reBret having introduced tboBe gcod8 into your house-
The Rocheser Lamp Co.,
11I aie an J 33 Barclay St., IW York.
New-York Tribune Farmer
FOR
EVERY
MEMBER
OF
THE
FARMER'S
FAMILY
BUTCHERING 1
Is done with half the trouble and work if
you have good tools. Why not buy tho
X7ntorprlso Sausage Stviffox's 2
and Meat Grinders and save a great deal I
of unnecessary trouble!
3 qt. Euterpriso Stuflers a id Lard Press, $1 73
ts cjt. Enterprise Stutters and Lard Press, 3.75
2 u.t. Enterprise Stutters uud Lnrd Press, tf.00
Entorpriso Meat O rinclcrs
No. 12 Chops 3 lbs. meat in 1 minute $1.1)0
No. 22 Chops 3 lbs. mpr.t in 1 minute 3.1"
No. "3 Cbotis 3 lbs. meat in 1 miuuto 4.75
We also have tho celebrated Leu's Ihitcher Knives nnd
Steel. Lard Cans. IIok Scrapers. ScuIch, Ladles, Skim- A
mers, Kettles, aud evcryiiiR uecessury to butcticriuK. Z
D. HEIIH'S SON, Sunbury, Venna.
SPECIAL
CARPETS, MRTTING
RUGS and FURNITURE:
TGI
PUT
ST
LIE
LI
I Marked attractiveness iu design
f oflabric, combined with the reasonable prices, uiaUc our carpets j
'' conppieuous. At this time attention is called to the new season's
" nattcrnsuf the well-known Wilton's, Axminsters and Tapestry
; ; Bmsscls. The latest effects i i Ingrains, llag Carpets in all styles
!! and prices.
Our stock o? new FURNITURE is es
pecially pleasing. We also have a fine
:: line of baby Carriages!
W. H. FELIX,
f u aUey Street,
II I II 11 Ml llll I MM I'UMH
' . .
- betoa
birth rats throurhout tbe United States.
m
In my judgment resulted loan
.U5E.
' a a a - " ' .
COOK STOVES.
VICk'I P
SAMPLE,
SAFE
Kstabllslud jh. fr over slxry ,Mr- tt thn
NKW.VOKK WEKKf.Y TUIIIf.NB. kn.nv,, :,ua read
In every state In ihn mion.
On November 7, lui, it was ohand 10 the
F.
a IiIkIi class, up-to-.l;,!,., IMus'r.Ucl ;lsr!l,u ,, v,,.k,
t"r tho luriniT and His ils minlly-
Pmcrj si.oo
n jeur, hut you enn Imy it f .r loss. uw ?
By sul.Hcrlimtr through jr own f.ivorlto homo
norspaper, The Post, MldJIeburif, ri.
IJottt pnpcin one year tor only si &o.
Send your order and money to the Voir.
Sample Copy free. Send your ad-
dress to NEW-YORK TRIIiUNE
FARMER, New York City.
SALE Ql
EVER EES FLAYED EH
ami color and excellent finality
-
AND Wm U9M-1
Jvistown, Pa. I
" """"" " 111 l1"H"
v . aininiii mini m i - r-- "
t
t
,i
7