-3
2 THE ALCHEMY
5 .p JANE ELLENS fc
ar
3
4 JfoJrns .tfrac't 0 a tltea Cu
rlri'UKKA! i:un'l;a!" shouted the
Ct conductor on the narrow-
sgaiifje train, as it wheezed ' and
gToaiu-d up the final jtretoh of rail
-tliut terminates in Eureka, once a
jiopulous an J thriving mining camp.
wiiok reputation rank second oniy
3to the famed t'omstock in the produc
tion of gold and silver dollars, but
is now oitly a blotch of buildings
crowded among low hills of sage-
orusJi. Hull a d'Mn people began
hc preparatory rustlings of weary
.jmhscii'cis Hearing their destination.
When the train came to n halt at
the depot, Ira llnxika and his wife
-vKini'i'il down from the conch in
ihe vvi:Ue of their felloxv-punsengers.
'The ini-d(n which brought them
frc.m New ll;li;ishire state to this
.Niuiki c:u.ip was not an extraordi
nary one; Jacob O. Marley, brother
of Jane KUtn lti'.vika, had struck out
ifor tin -.-t in die early Vixties, and
.-jlfti-r n tlt-snllm-v rnri-MKiMiliilt-iif-e for
ten years with ihe homo foiks, hud
-censed wilting. In bis lutit letter to
Sister .I;;:)..- lie mentioned the fact
'.hat he had diseiocied n big silver
.mine in Nevada not stating the ex
act location; and from the stirring
epistle ,l;ia,' lirouhs formed a glow
3nj pictiii'e of lacob as a bonanza
kiii'f of 1 ( woniVrful west. His fail
ire .) write since then worried good
tiiiin' kt.i. I iti ! ir'i 11 tint l.ri.tliiii. rulu.t
2y a c:il"iis wife; peiliaps living in
.oxti:n:' niit luxury, or mayhap the
slave nf Ms millions with not a ino
vrjient in which to pen a letter to his
'"(Hid s st 1 rieo' 1 never dill fancy
writing u:.M i-riaN." Mis. 1'rooks
would not allow herself to think of
Ibis a'ni it 1 it'ot hi r as a jioor proH
pector, or the possibility of his de
jEirlurc to the realms above. When
.in old aunt died, le.'iieathing to
-Jane a few hundred dollars, she iin
cucdinteh planned a wes!cni ".rip with
ziti other thought than to unearth the
irrant. millionaire, Jacob. Of course,
Jra ISrooks, her husband, should nc
inpany her, and hine Jane's wishes
were akin to law in her own house
:.'iold, Ira and she soon began their
......L.I f...i 'T 1. t M.i
J" " " " " .'
The twain had been whisked, and
'yilted and dragged to nearly every
settlement in Nevada. Stout old Iru
inij seen Mich a surfeit of alkali plains,
. u.'c)n'ish hills, and uncouth mining
jimps that even his dreams were of
Jifturted New rinulund scents, alive
'i1h Nevada eccentricities. After
--many weeks filled with wild ndven-
F-crcs, t" ;. n; nn old
1 S . . 1 , .. . . . 1 ' I. . 1 . 1.
;uirnn, ii t iijcii piiice llio narrow-
.jfaugc has already set them down.
ilrs. Brooks piloted Ira to the
Jlniwii hotel, and scarce waiting until
. Tije stains .ml fatigue of travel vi-j
v-piuovi'u, int anxious sister n.uie
Acnown her errand by ilyiii. ' !m citi
- vns of liiireka with questions.
"Jacob (). Mnrley, ma'am? Why,
aure, I knowtd Jake," responded one
""Tip" Worth-; "but last I seen of him
,ie say, ain't you heard about it?"
"Heard nb.iiit v '.''? Sir, I mil .Ta
nb (). Marlcy's sis;cr, and I am look
ing" for my dear brother. I say I uni
...Vi,kiiig for my dear brother."
"Then y.i i'l better prospect in thnt
liur liiiio-v.iiil, ma'am, for Jake he
,7ot ki'le.l in a gun-light nigh outer
.? i years back." Tip Wortle blurted
011 this Information with the im-
'eidin
cni.di.r of n mining-camp
, e :-cil by a familiarity
ii r details as impromptu
hl (Hue,
ivith so
l'lci- an
".la,..:
f-b ricl.i ii
iho kill.
3crr l.c,
"A eh
.'i:V:.iin.
T(p; win
! 'la
like.
led! Jacob dead:"
lillen I'.i ks. "And
d
ml I . I 'iv, w lio Killed Ml V
Med Stc.
HI I. dll't
c Jake 1
jiui'tticr'n
At wood,
feel so cut
led over he
anything I
lint
. l .'l'.'r
'nid 111" v
ever -1 . : .'
Jane f-hi:
don't I -1
V..V' M:in't
"l.ll'llll kill 1
"Wal. . n
ked hinder than before.
c mi word of ii ; ,1a
the liyliting kind. Dear
:iian? .'c . r, 1 say."
pi -in' you just mosey
-1 j ! . ii ! 1 '.'oil t'raveyr.rd, nia'aui, and
.Varu I her l ip Worlle's telliu'you
-'iua aiu'; so." Saying which. Tip
."idifali'il bv a id!; of his Ihumli
' ),! e.-iu y '. "fen 1' '
'M hi; keel, ieaua'
jj oi .1. ;i l.i dii t t iic
;cv,s that Jacob 1). J
to. and turned
Jatie and ha
laitling bit of
arlev had not
;dy bei 11 kill
d, but hud killed his
jijirdcrer.
"lva, 1 will not helVve 'that horrid
ruin, lie has coiifiisi d dear Jacob
illi non e niit' else, 1 say."
Nn telling, Jane, what might hap-
-eii in these uncivilized parts; but
appose we do as this Wortle sug-
.-ests, and look through the eemiv
tv.iy," said Ira, in a pulling attempt
(i console the .-hocked sister.
Jane ne(iiic-ced in n most woe-be-:;-ine
inaniirr. and the two trudged up
fit' tinlov vtre.-t in the direction
i'Uuby Hill burying grounds.
"When Nevada's great mining campv
tv.-t-re fining, and roystering, dcvtl
t vi'i, -euro nun freipi.'iited them, many
". i igs were done that senudalie the
".aincr generation of this day, When
firosr tokens of an earlier epoch come
rvaid'-r observation. Verhnps not
c-mvry live camp had its calamity
jffneaveyard; but Kureka wag not the
mity -enrly Nevada town with n sec
tvton of ground reserved for ' those
neea who met "ith nn untllaely end,
nrr to put it more iilalnly who died
vttV.h their boots on.
Siut Kureka underwent the haroV
liMcit stage; her mines dwindled to
borrueu, sa4 t& faltt of tor iUaV
ttt cltiseni ni aaalcaa. CoaMVMir,
lnterait la U camp abated, and
among other things neglected waa tha '
C ' m
IHao that of fresh arrivals there w era
none, and mora notieeabl than this
was the decrease in the number f
headboards. WW re they disappeared
to was a mystery at Orst; bu( the
facts soon leaked out thut prospect'
or, who eouhl ilV-offord t" pny the.
exorbitant price aet on lamhrr, were
oppropriating these "In Memory"
slabs lor the purpone of n'aking out
claims." Ko uncommon thing to rii
across a location monument,, bearing
the locator's notice on cuts aide,' and
an Inscription or epitaph to some de
parted man's memory on the -opposite
one. v .
When the ware of renewed interest
in Nevada nihies reached Eureka, Al
bert Heehs and Alfred Deremer re
located an old claim of theirs, and
awaited a buyer. This property lay
conveniently near the graveyard, and,
as former location notices were near
ly obliterated, fresh ones were in
stalled. The new discovery monument
was a head-board, and at each of the
four corners of the claim a melan
choly, prewsome grave-slub was im
bedded in the mound of earth thrown
up us required by the mining statutes
of Nevada, ileehe, being of a grimly
humorous turn of mind, christened
the now locution "Sacrilege Cluim."
I'p the gritty uud parched slope of
Iluby Hill climbed the portly Ira
Itrooks and June, his wifa. A warm,
dry breeze puffed across the broken
desert country; it dried the tear-drops
trickling down June's checks, and
burned the florid face of Ira. Here,
there, everywhere within the confine
of the cemetery, senrehed the rela
tives of Jacob O. Marley. They care
fully scanned each and every name on
tomb-stones, rounded wooden slabs,
and nondescript sticks. No trace of
the lost brother 110 inscription en
graven in memory of him rewarded
their gloomy explorations. As a last
resort, husband and wife separated,
each taking 11 different course.
"Ira! Iru Itrooks! I have found
him!" Jane Ellen's wail cut shurply
through the dry, twilight nir; Ira
straightened up from a lowly position
he had assumed in reading n decided
ly queer epitaph, and, with his usual
efforts, hastened to join Mrs. Itrooks
by the side of her brother's grave.
"Oh, Ira, it is true; Jacob is dead,
dear Jacob is dead and buried in this
wild, terrible spot. Poor, poor bro
ther!" Ira paused before the head-board
that wns placed at the end of a long
mound of earth, and in black letters
upon the weather-stained slab, ho
reud:
In Memory
of
JACOB O. MATtLRT.
Died March IS, 1873.
ARi-d abont 35 years.
Cocil-h' aJed and nervy to tne last
"Yes, t'.us is poor Jacob's grave,
there ,1- no doubt nbont it. 1'oor fel
low," w beezed the breathless Ira.
"Oh, dear, oh, dear! And why did
they bury him way out here, Ira?
Why, I say, didn't they bury him in
the graveyard?" Bobbed June Ellen,
mournfully.
"Who enn tell wha! these savages
will do out here. Hut. see, his friends
must have respected him: Tool-headed
nnd nervy to the last,' is written on
this slab."
"The idea! Why, dear Jucob wns
devout and peaceable; not a fighting
thing, as that must mcnnl Poor
brother! Hear brother! He shall not
remain in that grave, Ira. To-morrow
I shall have his body exhumed,
and we will take him home and give
liini a Christian barial in the beloved
town of his childhood days."
Jane, having spoken these words,
shed copious tears on the grave of
her brother, and then, placing her
hand upon Ira's arm, the cnuplo
walked back to their hotel in the bnr
barous village of Eureka.
Next morning the l'.rookses as
cended 1,'ilby Hill; with them Wire
two blue-sliirtcd individuals, one of
whom trundled a push-cart before
him, in which were picks, shovels, and
a long, eofl'm-shaiicd box. True to her
I word. Jane Ellen I'.ro.iks had made all
preparations to remove Jacob (). .Mar
ley's body from the unholy neighbor
hood of the calamity cemetery. Ar
l'hing at the barren spot, she pointed
out the gvuo to the workingmcn,
and directed them to begin digging.
The men looked rather nniaed
when they examined the mound, the
imbedded head-board, and noted tho
staring Mack "3. X. E. t'or. Sacrilege
Claim" on tire reverse side. Hut recall
ing empty pockets, and the generous
wages promised, they began their job
with a vim. Deeper nnd deeper grew
the four-by-scven excavation; higher
and higher they piled the clayey dirt
and rocks. Jam' Ellen sat on the edge
of the go-cavt, wutching the opening
of her long-lost brother's grave; Ira
breathed heavily beneath a big cotton
umbrella on the opposite side of the
hill, nnd above them the bright Ne
vada sun glared down from a high,
steel-blue sky.
The solemn silence wns broken by
Jane's voice: "Ira, who are those
men coming this wuy?"
Ira's near-sighted eyes photo
graphed a blurred mass of rapidly
moving objects upon his retina, and
ho became nlarmed, "It's the town
authorities, Jane, nnd they are going
to stop us from exhuming dear Ja
cob!" he exclaimed.
"The idea, Ira! Why, 1 got per
mission to remove Jacob's body long
before you were up this morning.
Those are not the town authorities, I
say."
The men come on tho run. There
wero two of them, nnd their appear
ance was not in the least assuring.'
Guns bristled about them, and rough
clothes and scowling fnc.os added to
ffcofarirtr-irJraoltKaSh nL2
1st th red shirt marched bolTy tr? to
Where Ira stood. A lingo, ludrj aet
hut off Ira's view to everything but
the same menacing fist, and two glow
ering eyes.; "You, you varmint! You
Aid red tub! Think you're playing
high hand jumping my claim ht the
Jight o' day? Say, ohf wad, just
prranibulate'. yourself and that , female.-
and therest of the kit offn
Sacrilege Claim;' 'fore we eaeriflce two
silly old Yankee. Money, now I"
Alfred , Deremer rolled forth the
word in a fierce toae; his personage
fairly radiated w rath, and Ira Brooks,
judging from the unsteadiness of .his
knees, firmly beliered an. earthquake
waa rocking the whole of Buby Hill.
Thoughts of his own danger Tanised,
however, as s shrill voice drowned out
the bass growls . of Deremer .. and
Heche. ,
' '"Jumping on your clatmt Jump
ing on Sacrilege Claim! Impudent,
boorish savage! How dare you ac
cuse mo of jumping? If I did jump
on your cluim, how could I hurt it?
Ira, Ira Brooks, this creature has
insulted me. He tells me . that 1
jump! That I jump, Ira llrooks!"
"Aw, you ain't so cute, madam. Tell
me what that there hole in the ground
means? Ain't you smart easterners
trying to get in on a good thing
here?" queried Albert Heehe.' '
"Get ou a good thing? Oh, oh, nnd
right here at my feet lies dear brother
Jacob! Insult me over my own
brother's grave? Rude, unthinking
wretch!" , f
"Brother Jacob's grave?" interject
ed Deremer, who hnd been listening
to Jane Ellen's tirade. Heche caught
bis partner's eye, and the two sud
denly Inst their bellicose air.
"My brother, Jacob 0. Marley, lies
buried here, and Mr. Brooks and I are
taking his body out of this nnconse
crated desert. Now, sirs, is that any
of your business? I say"
"But madam "
"Why er er" began he two pros
pectors in the same breath, but con
fusion got the betterof them, and
they looked Htrangelylviocllo as com
pared with the authoritative desper
adoes of a moment previous.
"Of course, you are ashamed, sirs.
The idea of accusing a lady of jump
ing, in what way you mean, I cannot
imagine. Oh, my dear Jacob! Toor,
forsaken brother that I should find
him lying here!"
"You tell her, Bert," whispered De
remer, loudly.
"Can't you break the news," an
swered Heche.
Muttering a tragic "Well, here
goes," Deremer explained just how it
happened that Jacob 0. Marlcy's me
morial slab did not mark the site of
his own grave, but the northeast cor
ner of their Sacrilege Claim.
Jane Ellen llrooks stared at the
men In mute horror. To steal n head
stone from a jrrnve wns quite beyond
her immediate - comprehension; to
realize that it wus her own brother's
grave that hud been robbed was a
frightful shock to Jane.
"Then, pray tell us, gentlemen,
where we may find Jacob 0. Marlcy's
body." The words came In a sur
custia wheeze from the portly Ira.
Neither one of the partners had
the faintest idea which grave in ca
lamity plot was occupied by Marley.
"You shall be arrested! Impris
oned for life, vandals, ghouls! Oh,
niy beloved Jacob, lost forever, for
ever! And in such -nn ungodly spot!
Oh, dear, oh, dear!" moaned Mrs.
Brooks.
While this scene was being enacted
on the surface, the two men digging
for the remains of Jacob 0. Marley
had been unusually quiet. Now one
of them pitched up a shovelful of
quartz, saying: "Lady, they ain't no
corpse here, far as I can see; but
say, you Deremer. what d'you call
that fer rich stuff?"
Deremer and Heche, always on the
alert for specimens, picked up some of
the rock, nnd what did they see but
flecks of yellow gold, freely speckling
the quartz. Jane Brooks, her hus
band, and her hopelessly buried
brother were forgotten. The part
ners danced n rattling breakdown,
hugged one another rapturously, nnd
took on like foolish school-boys.
"W what ails them, Ira? Have they!
been drinking? I say, have those
creatures been drinking, Iru Brooks?"
Albert Heche answered Jane's In
dignant question: "No, you bet 1
ain't drunk, madam. Hurrah for you!
Look here, did you ever see gold
quartz to beat the likes o' ' thnt?
We're rich, and you say, you didn't
find no buried brother, but the richest
gold mine in all Nevada!" '
So carried uway was Heche that he
actually embraced the trembling, hor
rified Jane, lingered her, nnd then, In
his bubbling delight, fairly shouted:
"Madam, you gets half interest in this
ye re bonanza. Half interest nnd no
expenses! We're nil richer'n' Croe
sus, bovs and girls. Hurrah for Mrs.
Brooks!"
Well, so it turned out in the end,
and although it required a good bit of
explaining, of reasoning, and cajoling,
Jane Brooks at lust accepted papers
thot entitled her to n one-half Inter
est in Sacrilege. Claim, which proved
to be as wonderfully rich ns the part
ners prophesied. And, although Jnne
Ellen never found poor, dear Jacob's
last resting place, she did find hertelf
a rich woman, whose heart warmed
toward the impetuous mining-camp
people to such an extent that Eureka
still harbors not only one indefinitely
located Jacob 0. Marley, but Mr. nnd
Mrs. Ira Brooks. San Francisco Afi
gonaut. t '
, ' . j-.
Love's Golden Dream,
She And will you speak to papa to
morrow, dear?
He (in dismay) Oh! Don't, darling!
uon 1 waK me uoi rucx.
: Maahlngton What's the matte,
with your elnck? It's stopped.
Tailor I never wind it up, I ure
it as a motto. ; r ' '.
"What do you mean?"
Xo tick here." Tit-Bits
w A Gm4 VttaaflatifiK.
Foreign "Visitor Your American so
ciety has no old castle with haunter
rooms. i
' American Girl N-o, we haven't, 1
admit; but (brightening) we . nave
plenty of scandals. X. Y. Weekly; ,
-' .. -r
Mat Bsaetlr the Sam.
" "And she Isn't married yet? Gra
cious! She's well preserved! he i
the some Birdie Hoppindyke she wa
15 years ago."
"No, she's not the tame. She spell.
It Byrdye now." Chicago Tribune.
Qalte Aakr Matter.
"A man may be. able to carry him
self straight," remarked the observer
of events and things; "but when he
co.nes to carry a baby, that's another
mutter." Yonkers Statesman.
At a. Woman's Clalt.
Miss Homely As for myself, I
should prefer to be kissed to death.
"An Unkind . Member But where
could you get an executioner? Smart
Set.
The Worm Tnraa.
He Your cooking never equals my
mother's.
. She Quite likely. I have heard she
used to ronst your father pretty well.
N. Y. Sun.
Not Compulsory.
Student Tell me, colonel, can ajnati
be thoroughly honest and still succeed
as a lawyer?
Veteran Attorney 1 presume so;
but oh! it isn't necessary! Puck.
Mark Twain's
Cousin,
G. C. Clemens, of Topeka,
Kan., the no
ted constitu
tional lawyer,
who bears so
striking a re
semblance to
Mark Twain,
( S a-m u c 1 B.
Clemens) that
he is frequcnt
lvtakcn forthe
original Mark, G- c- Clemens,
is a man of deep-intellect and
wide experience. He is con
sidered one of the foremost
lawyers in this country. In a re
cent letter to the Dr. Miles
Medical Co., Mr. Clemens says:
' Tersonul experience and ohser
vttion hitve thoroughly satisticri nie tlift
Dr. Miles' Nervine contains true merit,
and i excellent for what it is recom
mended." Mr. Norman Waltrlp, Sup. Pres. Bank
en' Fraternal Society, Chicago, says:
wu Pain Pills
are invaluable for headache and all
pain. 1 had licen a great f uffen r from
headache until I learned of the cfhcacv
cf L)r. Miles' l'ain Pills. Now I always
carry them and prevent recurring at
tacks hy takings pill when the symp
toms first appear."
Sold by all Druggists.
Price, 25c. par Box.
Dr. Miles Medical Co., Elkhart, Ind.
KXCt SED.
Old Cientlcnitin Well, have vou been
a pood girt and been to school?
Child (jubilantly) Ka-a-w: I've got
the smallpox! The Tatler.
CANDY
lie U.
Genuine t '-orptd CG.C Never sold In bulk.
CiKV?J ii 4 iitrtt who tries to sell
watihfcve Stat u jood."
"A neislibor ran in with a bottle
of Chftnabeilaiu' Colic, Cholcry and
Diarrhoea Itomedy when my son was
sufferiofr with bcvcro cramp and was
given up ns beyond hope by my reg
ular physician, who Elands high in
his profession. After administering
three doses of it, my eon regained
consciousness and recovered entire
ly with in twenty-four hours" soys
Mrs. Mary Haller, of Mt. Crawford,
Va. This remedy is for Bale by Mid
dleburgh Drug Btore.
The way to bur PURR WHISKEY ii direct
from the illntillerT. You avoid the poillllty
of adulteration an J aave the Jobber' and mall
drains' prollt. The Hayner Distilling Co., Day
ton, Ohio, will send you (our full quarts Heven-Year-Old
Rya, cxprcaa prepaid, for la JO. Baa
their announcement appearing elsewhere in
thiiistue. '
Try Gbamberlain'b Stomach & Liv
er Tablets, the beet physic. For
si by Middlebmgh Drug Store.
f'k M A
J
A' j usiv a
fir Ir.finta
" ' . : . 1
. Th KluA You Have Always Bought has borne the slg
,' tare of Chas. lt Fletcher, and has been made under k
, ' personal supervision for over SO yean. Allow no
to decerns you in ' this. Counterfeits, Imitations tv
" Just-as-good are but Experiments, and endanger tk
:' health of CLUdren Experience against Experiment, t
nn. m ' i tt 1 "1-1 J
me juna 10a nave Always mm
XICOIS fcuo
In Use For Over 30 Years.
tw crwrauw eouMwy, tt wywwuy ytgfTAitiiv o y--
i
THE BEST
LAWN
SWING
Conaldrrntile of a Ucaer-nt.
'He beiieve.s in the Darwinian theory
thinks he is descended from a mon
key, you know."
"Well, W) fur as he is liulividiiuliy
concerned, 1 puei-s he in right."
"Uowisthat?"
"I am ahvaj h rendy to coiicwle that
anyone who will mnke thnt clnim not
only has dcKcended from a monkey,
bnt lias clesceiKleil a goin hmg ways,
lie certainly bti.n't risen." Chicago
Post.
IVrnte llimsrlf llonn,
"Tlie jirisonpr knocked me down,.
culling me a scarecrow, a wall-eyed I
old fool, n reforming roonter, a dolt
nnd nn idiot."
This wns the conclusion of the
deposition, lie nflixed his signature, j
which wan preceded by the formnl
entry: "Ail of which I swear to be
true," nnd left the court. X. Y. J
Herald. I
A Love Varsetet.
"Oh; may J kin you. Fweet?" he crlrd,
"What cheek!" exclaimed the belle.
"Iloth, plcare," the nrttul chap replied;
"And nn the Hps as well."'
Ally Sloper.
STItlVINU TO n.EASB,
Miss roinndc Where is the paint de
partment, plent-e?
Floorwalker Knee or house? Chi
cago Daily News.
Trouble.
Cannot some wise one tell u.
To cane our wondering minds,
Who Is It loses nil the fault
Thnt other people find?
Baltimore World.
Enr to FIikI Out.
"How absurd it is to sny thnt a
man doesn't know on which side hi9
bread in buttered when it's so eusy
to find out."
"How?"
"Drop It. Anyone ought to know
that it will fall butter-side down."
Chicago l'ost.
Appreciation,
Clerk Mr. Snipper was in while you
were out; he said he'd call again to
morrow. Proprietor Very kind of him.
Clerk But he wanted to collect a
bill. - .
Troprietor Very kind to say when
he would cnll. Boston Transcript.
Deep Respect.
"You must always have the greatest
respect for your parents," said the be
nevolent stranger.
"I have," answered the boy with
freckles. "Why, either one of them
can whip me with one hand." Wash
ington Star.
Too Bad.
First Author Stackson's is a case
of where a little knowledge is a dan
gerous thing. ' .''-.,
Second Author In what way?
"Why, he knows just enough of his
tory to unfit him for being a historical
novelist." Brooklyn Life.
ii lilf-
. .- - S
and Children.
. 1
OlgUaVilUTO Ul
lother b
AGENTS WANT EI
Laws Swlsts tad Settees, Haanock
Chairs, Cams Chairs sad Stoolt,
Iroslsg Tables, Wash Beaches, Etc.
litdrrn.
fcrll tl
Agents easily make
55 to $10 Per Day:
. Will furnish samples it J
duced prices to those desiriJ
agency. Exclusive terrilS
la.
given. Aaaress,
ClurBiid Woodcn-Wirt Ci,
euunui, tl
Clea.
"I met Wiggins this mornii"ii
She man with the muffler. "It's agJ
joke, lie was so hoarse he couMi
hi'
talk."
"You don't mean to tell me you J
It
glad your friend rns a cola!"
"well, I'm not exactly glad. Tut
IM
Imve one myself, and it was a gresj
romf ort to meet some one who couldi'
talk loud enough to tell me wliat t
for it. All I had to do was to staJ
W.iree feet away nnd he waspowi-ileu'
11 uaiiiiisiuu oiur.
rirtorlallr HaliRnvd.
"Xow if the Goddess of Libert vwJ
only a real person," commented tli
briefless barrister thoughtfully,
might stir up some business."
"How?" asked the curious caller.
" "Why, she would certainly have
good claim for damages for some
the alleged pictures of her that nppei
in the cartoons, wouldn't she?" di
manded the brifless barrister. l'.rool
lyn Eagle.
' Somewhat Pat Oat.
"The service at this hotel," e aid tl
boarder who was generally behind ii
his payments, "is abominable, nnd I'nl
not going to put up with it nnukl
longer."
"You're right," said the landlord.
overhearing him. "If you don't pull
up something pretty soon you'll ptttl
up somewhere else." Chicago Trib-I
tine.
How Dlnka Waa Hoolieil.
"Mrs. Weeds," said' Mr. Binks "II
asked your daughter to marry mo, anil
she referred me to you.
"I'm sure that's very kind of Ptifif.j
but then she always was a dutiful jjirL
Keally, Mr. Binks, I hadn't thoulit o!j
marrying ngnin at my time of life, but I
since you insist suppose we maletti
wedding day the twentieth of thiil
month." Tit-Bits.
lie Kneiv Them.
Kind Lndy Do you know your lot-1
ters, little boy?
Boston Prodigy (aged Bcvenl III
you mean to nsk, inndnm, whether nf
not 1 nm able to recognize nt Mirht
the fundamental characters upon
wl i.h the English lniicrunpe is based.
I sli iuld reply to you that T lcnrned
those when I wns a mere child. Co
lumbus (0.) State Journal. ,..
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menu
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