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General
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Friendly Warnlna-.
Sire froze him with a look.
Shivering, but kind-hearted, rlie
poor man controlled his suffering Hps
long enough to nay:
"The ice trust '11 get you, if yon
don't watch out!" Baltimore Amer
atcao. Light In the. HirkiH.
"I wish I were yon ttr," said the
Breamy youth.
"Yes," answered the weary maid,
with a long-drawn sigh, "I wUh you
rere."
"And why, fair maid," queried the
yonrth, "do you wish I were yon brll
Oiant orb?"
"Because," replied the fair one, "yon
brilliant orb it several million miles
way."
Then the dreamy youth suddenly
.remembered that he had business else
where, and he went. Tit-Rita.
Kntomntraarlreal.
The fry has rare good health, I wotf
' Wo appetite Is prime
Trie dinner bell may ring or not,
i He's always there on trime.
Chicago Hecord-Herald.
Waiter (who has upset a pint of soup
down the old gentleman's back) Not
a word, sir, not a word; uiy fault en-tineiy.-Fun.
Those Dear Glrla.
Madge She was in a collUion and
had all the enamel scraped off her
wfceel.
Dolly How lucky she wasi If she'd
taken a header Khe'd have had the
enamel scraped off her faoo. Judgte.
Not So Bad, Aftee All.
Bacon I see there are 40 countlea
In Texas where there is not a lawyer.
Egbert Oh, well, Texas can't be
etucii a bad place, after alL Yonkera
Statesman.
Often the Caae.
"I have noticed," remarked the Ob
taerver of Events and Things, "that
the milk of human kindness is to
often condensed." Yonkere State
ifnen. HEAD ACHE
"Both my wile unit myself have been
Being CA9CARET8 and tiiev are the beat
medicine we bare ever bad In the house. Last
week my wife was frantic with headache for
twotlays. the tried some of yourCASCAKETS,
aud they relieved the puln in her bead almost
Immediately. We I othrecorumundCascarets."
en as. BranaWoitDi
Pittsburg Sate i Deposit Co , Pittsburg, PS.
Plsaaant, Palatabla. i'tent. Taste Oood. no
Qootl, Never SicHeti. Weaken, or GriiC. 10c, 'JoCoUc.
... CURE CONSTIPATION. ...
Blrrlloe Rrm.'dy eontnanj, t'aleaeoi Itoatreal, Sew York. 317
MA Tft QAf1 SuUl mid tftiarantceil by all drug
bju I U-rJAb tliU l0 tl Kfc xobacco Uablt.
BB $19.75
; uis niu nuHE.
K Teay CATHARTIC a
HlTRA0t mars wtoisnatgg
AFTER ALW-
We take our share of frcttlnffc
Of grieving and forgetting:
The paths are often rough and steep and
heedless feet max fall;
But yet the days aru cheery,
And night brings real when weary.
And somehow this old planet la a good
world, after all.
Thotigh sharp may be our trouble.
The joys are more than double;
The brave surpass the eowarda, and the
leal are like a wall
To guard their uVarest ever.
To fall the feeblest never;
And aomehow this old earth remains a
bright world, after all.
There's always love that's caring.
And shielding and forbearing.
Dear woman's love to hold us close and
keep our hearts In thrall;
There's home to share tegether
In calm or stormy weather.
And while the hearth-flame burns It la a
good world, after all.
The Hap of eWldrena rolces.
The chance of happy choices.
That bugle-sounda of hop and faith.
through fogs and mists that call;
The h oa Ten that stretches o'er us.
The better days before aa.
They all combine to make this earth a
good world, after all.
Margaret K. Bangster, In Woman's
Home Companion.
04i4t4040eti00i4o4stOT
4- a
5 When Sain tal His Courage,
By Elizabeth L. Gould. t
4-
fa4aea4a4a4a4e4e4aee4a
(fyOl know what the Judge told you
I at the 'cadeiny exhibition, Sam
my," said Hiram Lane, slowly,
his eye fixed on the boy atrotcbed
on the grass near him. "lie
said If you ever wantMl to leave
Moorby to let him know; that
he'd like to do something for a boy
with such a good brain and a head for
figures. Those were his words, Sam
my." The boy's thin face flnsmcd as he
turned to look at his uncle, and he
spoke with nervous quickness:
"He's forgotten all about me long
before this. Uncle Hiram. Why, that
school exhibition was two years ago
last June, and the Judgs didn't come
to Moorby last summer, you know. I
should be afraid to go and ask any
favor of him."
"I wish you hadn't such a bashftd
streak in you, Sammy," said Uncle Hi
ram, looking down at the boy with
a half-reproachful, wholly affectionate
smile. "You're just like your poor
pa. A better man never lived, but hs
wasn't built to get on in this world,
and he didn't get on. I was hoping
you might have a little snore push
than your pa, Eammy, along with Us
goodness. Now your ma's gone, I
could be moved anywhere; or I could
be put in the county fans, Sammy, if
so it aeemed best for you to strike
out to the city alone. I'm nothing but
a helpless old hulk, anyway."
"Don't you say that again, Uncle Hi
ram! Don't yoa dare to!" cried the
boy, fiercely, springing to his feet, aad
rushing like a whirlwind upon the fig
ure In the old armchair. "Arn't you
all I've got in the world that belongs
to me? Do you suppose I'd go away
and leave you for the town to take
care of? I'd deserve to be hung I "
"Sho, now, Ram my!" said the occu
pant of the armchair, gentry, aa he
saw the hot tears in the boy's eyes.
"We haven't got anything but each
other, either of us; but here I am,
lame so I'm no good to stir about;
hands all knotted up with rheumatics,
so I can't use 'em, and you just spend
ing your days distributing milk, and
sawing and splitting, which any boy
with no such head for figures as you've
got could do full as well. How much
did ynu earn last week. Sammy?"
"Only three dollars, Uncle Hiram,"
answered the boy, slowly. "You know
my work is always slack after the sum
mer people have gone. The judge and
his family are going next week. Their
hired girl told me to have Mr. Bar
pent make out the milk bill. When
I went there yesterday morning the
judge was sitting on the side piazza,
but he didnt know me."
"Did you make your manners to
him, and give him a good look at yon,
Sammy?" asked the uncle, anxiously.
"I mistrust you kind of half-turned
your head away, or maybe the sua
was in his eyes."
"I took off my cap the best I knew
how," said Sammy; "but he barely ,
nodded to me. He wasnt reading or
anything, either."
"Maybe he was ealculsting in his
head," suggested Mr. Lane, quickly
glancing up at the boy, and then
averting his eyes. "You recall how
he told you be used to love to do thoss
mental sums, same as you did at the
exhibition, Sammy?"
The boy shook his head, and stood
for a moment looking across the fields
up to the hill on which stood the
judge's house, its windows gleaming
bright in the morning sun.
"No, he's just forgotten me. Uncle
Hiram, that's all," he ssid, after a few
moments of silence. "I'm just one of
the country boys to him, and I guess
that's all I ever shall be. He's the on
ly one that could give me a chance.
Now I must run over to Mrs. Lapham'a
and flnah piling her wood. Will you
stay here and read till I come back at
noon? The sun's good and warm to
day." "You'll find me sitting in my castle,
same as you see me now," said Mr.
F.nnu, cheerily. "Pay my respects to
Mrs. Lnpham, and tell her I wish
she could pet out to enjoy
this beautiful weather, but I al
wu.vs think of what a sightly
view she has from that south window
of hers. I took special note of it that 1
day of the town celebration when I
rode past the house, three years
back."
The cheery smile lingered on Uncle
Hiram's face till the boy was well out
of sight beyond the turn in the road.
and thea ft gave place to a look af
patient pain.
"He'd counted on the judge's know
ing him," said the crippled man, turn
ing his head wearily against the soft
old cnslon. "I know it just aa well as
if he'd said so,: If the judge had
shown signs of remembering him,
Sammy would have plucked up cour
age to ask him if there waa any
chance for him down below. Don't
1 know how he's kept at his study
evenings when he's been 'most teo
tired to ait up? Seventeen years old
last week, and going to be hived up
here all winter, and only just earn
enough to keep us a-going!"
Mr. Lane pounded on the ground
with his crutch in excitement, and
scared away a squirrel which was on
a journey to a neighboring elm.
"Poor little creatur! I didn't mean
to fright you," said Uncle Hiram, re
gretfully, "but I just recollected that
Sammy asked me if I'd fall aa soon
call him 'Sam,' now he's 17, snd I've
clean forgotten it ever since till thli
minute! And he such a boy, and me
such a drag on him, and forgetting
such an easy thing as that! I'll get
my mouth fixed for It when he comes
back. 'Sam,' I'll say to him, 'Sam,'
I'm glad to see you, Sam; and, Sam,
I've bad a nice morning under the
trees, Sam. I reckon the oftener I
say it for n spell, the easier it'll come.
I'll practice it off and on the rest o'
the morning to keep my hand in," said
Uncle Hiram, wisely. .
Sammy's thoughts, as he hurried
down the road that led to the Lap
hnm houae, were not very comforting.
"I'm nothing but what the children
call a ' 'fraid cat,' that's all I am!" he
said, bitterly. "Any other boy would
speak up to the judge and make him
remember, and perhaps get a chance.
Uncle Hiram minds, too. He's hardly
talked about the old war times, when
he was drummer boy and got his
wounds, once, for the last week. He'd
rather be in an attic in Boston and
know I waa working my way up than
to stay here In Moorby; there's no
body here be cares enough about to
make him want to stay. And I might
earn money enough to buy him a
wheeled chair before long. While
mother lived I couldn't go, but now I
eould."
Mrs. Lapham's house faced the
south, and aa Sammy entered the yard
he looked for Mrs. Larlham's smile
at the window of the room where all
her days were spent.
She had been bedridden for ten
years; the old sitting room of her
early married life had been changed
to hot bedroom, aad every morning
before Mr. Laphsm started for his
"Harness aad Shoe Shop" he dragged
the bed close to the window. All
passers-by were used to the sight of
Mrs. Lapham's pals face propped into
sew by the many pillows, and her
thimble tapped many a summon to
enter on the lowest righthand pans.
There was no face at the window
that morning, although, as Sammy
drew close to the houae he could see
that the bed was In its usual place.
As he stood a moment Irresolutely at
the turn where the path branched off
toward tho woodshed, a man bailed
him from a passing cart, saying "Hul
lo, Sammy! How's business with you
these days?"
"Fair," returned the boy, soberly,
adding under his breath, "I wish peo
ple wouldn't call me 'Sammy!' It's
tuch a baby name!"
There came a tap at the window as
the oart rattled out of sight and Sam
my turned quickly to see Mrs. Lap
ham's face, white and drawn, at the
pane.
"Why, she looked as if she was cry
ing!" said the boy to himself, star
tled out of thoughts about his own
troubles, as hs entered the house.
There was no longer any doubt In
his mind when he stood in the door
way and saw the invalid's great dark
eyes.
"Sammy!" she cried, in o high,
trained voice. "The men are at work
In the judge's meadow, and he's there
with 'em ! They're going to cut down
all my willows and my old apple
tree, my dear old apple tree, Sammy!
John Koberts is there with 'em, su
perintending under the judge. I tapped
him in this morning just after Mr.
Laphsm had gone, and he told me.
Why, Sammy, H teems as if those
tress belonged to me! My viow'U
be sll spoiled, and it's everything I
have to look at, that meadow is,
Bammy!"
"Yes'm, I know," said the boy, with
quick sympathy. "I suppose he
thinks the meadow'U be better with
out the willows, and that the apple
tree doesn't bear much of any fruit.
He doesn't realise about you, Mrs.
Lapham, the judge doesn't; I don't
believe he even knows about jreu. You
see he's only here in the summer, and
he doesn't see much of us village peo
ple," added Sammy, gently. "It's an
awful pity, Mrs. Lapham."
"If he knew," said the invalid,
crushing her handkerchief between
her clasped hands, "if hs know, do
you supposs he'd leave the apple tree,
Sammy? Look I Here's where I see the
buds on that long branch first ; nnd then
the blossoms come, all white and
pink, and then the apples. And the
branches are lovely even when they're
bare; and you know how they shine
in thV snow and ice. I've shown you
so often. The road is so narrow;
how can the judge help knowing about
me, Sammy? How can he, with that
apple tree right opposite my window,
close against the wall? O, Sammy!
And the windows shine so in the sun
after a rain! I shall be gone before
they could grow high enough for
me to see them again!"
Sammy's face flushed n curious red
in streaks.
"I will go and tell the judge about
it, Mrs. Lapham," he suid.
Then he turned on his heel and
rushed out of the house.
Even ready-tongued people hesitated
to ask favors lightly ef Judge Sauu-
'fcaTS. trial t-T aBO
benevolent. Fear and excite
ment choked together In Sammy's
throat Many ideas shot through the
boy's brain aa he ran along the road
to the break In the wall where the
meadow bars were down, and across
the meadow toward the tall figure
of the judge. But more vividly than
all else there rose before his mind the
Invalid's face, and it was the only spur
he needed.
"You may begin on that oldest apple-tree.
Roberts," the judge was say
ing. "I have an appointment now
with Mr. Willis, but I shsll be back in
the course of the morning to see how
the work goes on. I
"Judge Saunders, please stop!"
came a boy's voice behind him, and
the judge turned to confront Sam
my's flushed and excited face.
"What's the trouble, my young
friend?" he asked, in a curt tone.
"Where and why do you wiah me to
stop?"
"It's the trees, sir!" cried Sammy,
his troubled eyes fixed on the judge's
keen gray ones. Mrs. Lapham is an
invalid; it's years since she could
i lesve her bed, sir. Hsr husband pulls
it up to the window every morning
before he goes off to work, so she
can look out. She can see just a
strip of sky snd this piece of your
meadow, and it's her picture, Judge
Saunders; your willows and the old
apple tree are her picture, all she has
to look at."
The judge stopped to pick up a long
blade of grass as the boy stopped for
breath, but did not inturrupt him.
John Roberts and the other men stood
open-mouthed behind their employer.
"In the spring she watches for the
very first sign of green on the old
apple tree," Sammy rushed on, nev
er taking his eyes from the judge's
face, "and she sees it, too. And .then
when the blossoms come and are in
full bloom, why, that's her happiest
time, sir. That long.strsggly branch,"
the boy pointed to one arm of the
old tree as be spoke, "lies right
across her window, sir, with the wil
lows behind it. You see, 'way across
the road the meadow space between
the apple tree and the willows doesn't
show; they look close together, all
in her picture."
Sammy paused, and the flush faded
from his face, leaving It unusually
pale. The judge stood looking off
across the meadow, drawing the blade
of grass through his fingers.
"That's all, sir," faltered Sammy,
"but but I thought you wouldn't
perhaps you wouldn't have the trees
cut If yen knew, tor Mrs. Lapham
haa such a very little pleasure, air,
and she's feeling so aad about the
trees."
"Urn! I'm sorry for that," said the
judge, turning his keen eyes toward
the boy at last. "I suppose you're
overrun with pleasure yourself, arn't
you like most of the rest of usf
"Sir!" stammered the boy.
"Do those old willows over there
come Into your friend's picture?"
asked the msn, abruptly, pointing to
a clump fur along the little meadow
brook.
"Oh, no, sir," said Sammy, quickly.
"She can't see those at all."
"Take the men over there, Roberts,
and begin work at once. These trees
may stand as long as they're needed
to mske a picture for Mrs. Lapham.'
said the judge. Then, as the men
moved awuy, he turned again to the
boy.
"It's a pity you'd rather help run a
milk route than learn to be an ac
countant," be said, in his former curt
tone. "I'm rather disappointed in
what I hear of you now. I thought
you had ambitton."
Sammy's face grew scarlet again
and his lips trembled, but he kept his
eyes fixed bravely on the judge's.
"I think I am anxious to do some
thing better, sir," he said, slowly.
"But I'd thought you had forgotten
all about me, and I didn't like to say
anything, and I have my undo to
support, Judge Saunders."
"I never forget a face," said the
judge, briskly, "and you can earn
more money in an office I know of
than you ver can here. I'll call to
see your uncle this afternoon, and
have a talk with him. Now you'd bet
ter go back to Mrs. Lapham and ease
her mind. I'm not sure that you
wouldn't make a good advocate," he
added, with a grim smile.
As the boy turned to go he looked
up at the Lapham window, and his
grave young face broke Into a smile.
"How glsd she'll be. air I" he said.
"I don't see how I can thank you for
her and for myself."
"Look here!" said the judge, laying
his hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Listen to me. Take seven, multiply
by four, divide by two, subtract five,
add three, mutKlply by eleven, divide
by four, add two, divide by seven,
multiply by six, divide by ten and
what do you have?"
The judge had spoken aa rapidly as
his tongue could move, but none too
fsst for Sammy.
"Three, sir," came tlje instant re
ply, delivered quietly.
"We'll call that thanks." said the
judge, calmly. "I have three boys,
and not one of them can add 12 and
13 without a pencil and paper. Good
by!" When Mrs. Lapham, crying softly
for joy, had been left behind, nnd a
whirlwind had fallen upon Uncle Hi
ram Lane, nnd made dear to his mind
the morning's news, the lame man
set his lips for a self-appointed task.
"Sam," he said, carefully, "you de
serve it all, nnd Sam, your old uncle
Is glad, Sam, nnd from this dny on,
Providence permitting, I will never
call you Sammy again." Youth's
Companion.
The Beat Way.
Mrs. Atherton You mustn't believe
all you hear, Bessie.
Bessie I don't. I only believe the
pleasant tilings, Sonjerville Journal
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL.
Lessen In International Series far
Se-itember XX, tool Temper-
THE LESSON TEXT.
(Proverbs 23:3-36.)
. Whe hath woe? who hath sorrow!
who hath contentions? who hath babbling?
1 who hath wounds without cause? who
fcath redneas of eyea?
3a They that tarry" long at the wide;
they ttat go to seek mixed wine.
SI. Look not thou upon the wine when
It Is red, when It glveth his color in the
cup, when It moveth Itself aright.
12. At the last It blteth like a serpent,
and stlngeth like an adder.
23. Thine eyea shall behold strange wom
en, and thine heart shall utter perverse
things.
34. Tea, thou shalt be as ha that Ueth
down In the midst of the sea, or aa he
that lleth upon the top of a mast.
aV They have stricken me, shalt thou
say, and I was not sick; they have beaten
me, snd I felt H not: when shall 1 awake?
I will seek It yet again.
GOLDS! TEXT. Wine Is n mocker,
atrona drink Is raglnm and whoso
ever la Irerlrril thereby Is not wlae.
Pro. aOtl.
Warning Against Wine. The verses
marked especially for the lesson form
one of the best known and one of the
most eloquent passages in the book of
Proverbs. They set forth the tempta
tions of wine and the ruin which
yielding ia sure to bring. Verse 29
sets forth vividly the sufferings of the
intoxicated. The words "woe" and
"sorrow" are exclamations in the He
brew. We might translate : "Who keeps
saying: 'Oh!' snd 'Alas!'?" The quar
relsomeness, the discontent, the bod
ily Injury from trivial causes and the
muddled vision are all familiar char
acteristics of the drunkard, especially
when he is actually under the influence
of liquor. The process of drunken
ness is described in verse 30. The man is
far gone in vice who spends much time
in drinking and one of whose favor
ite pursuits is the invention or testing
of new ways to mske liquor palatable.
Such wine as waa known to the writer
of the Proverbs was so mild at the
strongest that it required much more
effort to get drunk than is needed with
the use of modern distilled liquors.
Yet even the comparatively innocent
wine of that age fully deserved the
severe words which follow. Wine is
attractive to the eye and the taste
(v. II), but its beauty ia like that of
the poisonous serpent, whose sting is
fatal. The rsat of the pasesge de
scribes the wsy in which the sting be
comes manifest. Ths writer men
tions first the strsnge vsions which
the drunksrd sees; then foolish and
vicious speech; recklessness; insen
sibility, snd persistence in the evil
course. He lies down fn the midst of
the sea or on the tap of a swsyiag
mast with equal disregard of danger.
Ths last verse is exceedingly dramstic,
and represents the drunken man as
speaking in his half-awakened stupor.
The passage says nothing of the re
sult to ethers, but gives warning of
the personal danger arising from In
dulgence. This dsnger is common to
sll who use liquor at sll, though of
course many sssm to escape it.
The Blsck Valley Railroad. An Im
pressive illustration for the enforcing
of this Issson msy be hsd from a tract
written for sailors by Rev. Stedman
W. Hanks nearly a quarter of a cen
tury ago. The inherent force of the
allegory contained is sufficient excuse
for agala bringing it to public notice.
The road is advertised as the "GREAT
CENTRAL FAST ROUTE from 8IP
PINOTON to the BLACK VALLEY."
The assurance is given that accidents
by collision are entirely avoided, as
NO UP TRAINS ARE RUN OVER THR
ROAD. Tickets over the same are sold
st all liquor shops. The route taken is
by no means sn attractive one. Those
who start out upon It have no idea of
of talrtng a through passage. They
start at Srppington, pass through Med
IcincvfUe, and expect to get off at Tip
pletoa. But this train seldom stops at
Tlppleson. It rushes madly on to To
persville, around Drunkard's curve,
through Rowdyvllle, and makes a
stop at Quaurelton. After this the sta
tions are passed very rapidly: Riot
Wile, Beggartown, Woeland, Gamblers
vtlle, Flghvtlngton, Brothelton, Pitfall,
obbors' Den and Prlsonton. Here an
other stop is made, but the journey is
soonresumed, and the train with ever
increastng speed whisses on to Dellr
lutnton, Demonland, Hornets' Netft
Tttioket, Screech Owl Forest, Horror
land, Serpent Land, Maniacville, Idiot
flats and into Black Valley. Then a
long run is made through the Great
Desert, Cloud Land, Thunder Land,
Storm Land, intofTornado Gorge, and
the train slows up at Flood Crossing.
H te from here only a short run to the
efty of Destruction. Surely the pros
pectus of the trip is enough to keep
any sane man from embarking thero
on. Vbe trouble is that few see to
wtswt great ends littls things lead. The
city of Destruction is within full view
if only ths trouble is taken to look.
Ite wrecks may be plainly seen strewn
boot its streets. It Is the little drops
that make the mighty ocean, the little
wtne glass that brings men to their
fternal rnin.
The other road is as easily taken as
the Black Valley one, and all lhot is
worth while lies that way. One"no"se
cures the passage. It is the start, and
then the habit that is formed that ac
complishes tho work. And remember
that temperance is as much a habit as
Is drink, and as easily formed.
Itaiu'N Horn Illnst.
Tall trees need deep roots.
A traitor is not he who fails, but ne
who flees.
Except life be deepened its widening
will be Its weakening.
No man will ever be wise who is un
willing to be esteemed a fool.
It is the touch of selfishness in our
ambitions that turns them to sin.
The Bible makes no mistake in de
scribing the man who talks about its
mistakes.
Our sorrows may seem to wipe out
the stars, but they can never blot out
the Bible, our compass.
HIS WllC'S
weak
Bean
It h a singular thiag that in the
popular view ef disease the interde
pendence ef the several organs of the
body is lost sight of. The heart, for
example, is diseased and it is treated aa
if it were entirely separated from, snd
independent of, every other organ.
The fallacy ef this opinion is shown
by the cures of heart "trouble," liver
"trouble," kidney "trouble" and other
so-called "troubles,'' effected by the use
of Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov
ery. Primarily the "Discovery" is a
medicine for the cure of diseases of the
stomach aad blood. But it cures die
eases of organs seemingly remote from
the stomach, because these diseases have
their origin in s disesssd condition of
the stomach aad "its associated organs
of digestion and nutrition.
I doctored with three different doctor tar
weak heart, bat they did me no good." writes
Mrs. Jails A. Wilcox, of Cygnet. Wood Co. . Ohio.
Boa j i "I was so tired and discouraged if I had
hsd my choice to litre or die I would have pre
ferred to die. My hSthaad heard of ' Golden
Medical Diaeeeery ' sad he bought a bottle. I
took that aad the first half seemed to help me
I took sis bottles before I stopped. I am per
fectly well, aad am cooking for sur. boarders.
It has bees a Cod-aead to me."
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure con
stipation. A Fair ahiehanne.
A little boy was suffering from a
' severe cold, and his mother gave him
a bottle of cough mixture to take
while at school. On his return she
asked him if he hod taken his medi
i cine.
"No," he answered ; "but Bobby
Jones did. He liked it, so I swapped
with him for a handful of nuts."
Tit-Bite.
Wanted a "High Ball" Tee,
The new arrival at the boarding
house proved to be a woman suffra
gist "I look for a wider opportunity of
usefulness for downtrodden woman.
My prayer, morning, noon and night,"
ahe said, "is for an elevated sphere."
"Dont care if I join you." aaid the
Coarse Boarder. "High ball for me,
too," Jr. Y. Times.
Tee tateriess.
Mies ttruckile Mother, you are too
imperious ia your behavior.
Mrs. Btrucklle Too which?
Mice fytrnckile You shouldn't or
der people arpund the way you do.
Mrs. Struekile I'm rich enougTi.
Miss Struekile Yes; but I'm afraid
folk will suspect that you began life
as a cook. N. Y. Weekly.
Aa Baeenraclngr Setback.
Mr. Perkins Miss Simpson, my
heart holds a great secret, but I feel
; timid about confiding it to you.
Miss Simpson Well, Mr. Perkins, I
! can't help you out any; the man who
1 proposes to me, Mr. Perkins, shan't
i have a chance to throw it up to me
that I led him on. Chicago Record-
HeraU.
A IAD MUFORTl'KB. ,
"Wunst I used ter wear jest as good
clothes as thea you've got."
"You did, eh? What brought yon
down te this?"
"Dey found on where I got o
clothes an' pinched me." Chicago
American.
Cloeta-Stealera.
All optimists put off their woe
Until to-morrow sa we know;
But pessimists, to keep life gray.
Groan all to-morrow's groans to-day.
Puck.
Aa III Wind, Bte.
Mrs. Pepprey There's that Miss
i Nexdore pounding the piano.
Mr. Pepprey Yes, I hope she'll keep
it up all night.
Mrs. Pepprey What!
Mr. Pepprey Yes, the landlord will
be here shortly, and we'll use that as
an excuse to have the rent reduced.
Philadelphia Press.
A Difficult Problem.
"Do you think that money is the
real test of success?' asked one emi
cnt citizen.
"I don't know about that," answered
the other. "But it strikes me that the
lack of it is a pretty accurate lneas
reruent of failure." Washington
DON'T
TOBACCO SPIT
and SMOKE
YourLlfeawayt
You can be cured of any form of tobacco
easily, be made well, strong, mametic , iu""1
new life and vigor by taking HO-TO-BAO,
that makes weak men strong. Many gam
ten pounds in ten davs. Over BOO,OOU
cured. All druggists. Cure guaranteed. Bopk
, let and advice FKKK. Address STKRLINl
RSMSOY CO., Chicago or New York. 7