Southern
Progress.
A monthly, sixteen-page
journal containing in each
number some twenty narra
tives of the South, chiefly
J descriptive and pictorial.
The paper is undoubtedly
the best illustrated journal
in the world, and the only
publication which presents
; glimpses of Southern life
and Southern people. It
T is a favorite souvenir with
those who have visited the
Z South; and it serves a good
purpose, in lieu of a visit,
to those who have never
been there.
The regular price of
Southern Progress is fifty
cents a year, but to introduce
the paper we will send it
three months for ten cents.
FRANK A. HEYVOOD,
Editor and Publishes,
21 1 S. 10th SL, Philadelphia.
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A Cure for Nervous lleadnrhes.
Pnr elif lit years I suffered from costlpatlon and
sevure linadncbe, the headache usually lasting
a roe days nt a tune. Headache powders rellev
me tMinporurtly, but left too bad an effect,
atnee. I ban taking Celery Klntf 1 have greatly
Unproved lu health, seldom or never have head
adL. ,1HT0 vnlned In flesh, and feel decidedly
wJi.-Mkn. K. H. IUtch, Temple, N. II. Celerv
JUUtrforlliH Nerves, Uvernnd Kidneys Is Bold
In 0c. and site, packages bv W. II. Herman,
TCOaevllle; Mlddleswarltl & Ulsh, McClure; II.
A, Hong In, Allue. ,
ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. Let
ters of Administration in the es
ttfle of Henry Hrilbh, 8r., late of Centre tnwn
rtj). Snyder Co., Ia., dic'd.. having been (fram
ed to the undersigned, all p-rsons knowing
tuomselves Indebted to said estate are requested
5 make Immediate payment, wlilletliose having
lalms will present tiioiu duly authenticated In
Um undersigned.
HK.NUT U. UKl'MI, Admr.
Jacob Ollbort, Att'y.
Comrade. Anilentlan.
I served from 'M to 'M. and was wounded Muv
10. 1H64. In the Itatlle of the Wilderness. 1
would like to have IilV comrades know what
Oftlery King has done for me. In my old
complaint, chronic dlarrahoea, came back, The
doctors could not sUip It, but Celery King has
cured me, Had I am once more enjoying life.
Frank Bkkiii.kk. Owohho, Mich. (t!o. K. Will N.
Y. V. I.), celery King for the Nerves, I.lverand
and Kidneys Is sold In toe. and fse. pai'kages bv
W. II. Herman. Troxelellle; Mlddleawarth A
UlBh, McClure; II. A. Kbrlgbi, Aline.
PATENTS
OBTAINED-
TEEMS EAST.
Consult or communicate with the Editor
of (ills paper, who will give all needed Infor
mation. 3J"oxr Boolx. Froo.
A valuable book giving complete
information how I successfully cure
consumption and other lung diseases
will be sent free to tbe readers of
this paper. Address Dr. Burtz, A.
Inter Ocean Bldg., Chicago, III.
8 15-fim.
HUMPHREYS'
1 Cures Fever.
8 " Infants' Diseases.
No.
No. 4
It a. 8
No. 9
Diarrhea.
Neuralgia.
Headache.
Dyspepsia.
Skin Diseases.
Rheumatism.
Whooping Cough
Kidney Diseasea
Urinary Diseases
Colds and Crip.
IJa 10
Ha 14 Cures
No. 18 -1.
CO "
.a. T7 "
P aTflatlat fwnnalld HMTB MmM
iv amai aaak
FLAG OF DEUVERANC&
T tt hQU Ib U auiuiM track
Of a DKtloa bora to b fr, -Wbara
tbm loom of th MarrtinM v
Enrich tba aMa of tha m, '
To tka Ukea of tb tUobar oaoa .
Whara tba Island oarlaa run.
To tha flalda of tha aouth fuU-blowm
With their cotton whKa la tba tun.
To tha weatarn rlvera that leap
In tba cmn4 Paclflo bay
Whara tha wind of aanplra aaraep .
And tha btacona of oommerca bliaa
For tba rt!n: of bearta that aprtanl
To tba thrlU of Liberty call.
On tb aky of summer we fling
Tba flag that cover them ail!
It oear no menace of fata
For tb rag of a vengeful txrut.
It fllea so alcnal of bate.
No lure for tb lust of power.
No envy, ambition, or kred.
Wherever It color iwlng.
The eye that e It shall read
In tb Huh of It epleiulld wing.
From tb ky it beckoning apeak
- W Uh pity' dlvln command:
"Oo tear from tb throat of tba weak
Tha grip of cruelty' band!
Tbo' the aword tb leaaon must write.
And cannon utter the word.
Bid tyranny ceas to mKa
And tha wTong of the poor be beard.
Go orueh the hawk In hi qplte
And sucoor tb victim bird!"
Flag of Deliverance blown
On the wind of all the peas,
8ymbol of roalra unknown
To tha bending of vasaal kneea
Hall It. Invincible states,
Wltb the breath of our palms and pineal
From Maine to the Ooldvn Gates,
Huzza for Its rainbow Unea!
And hall 11, heart of the brave.
From the heights of the mother tale.
Till our banner that arch the wava
Shall blend with a kla and smile.
Run up the stars to the peak
For the England old and new!
The cross of St. Oeorge shall speak
With our own red, whit and biua.'
And the lion from over the aurg
Echoes our eagle' behest:
"No more shall a feudal aoourge
Torment the civilised west!"
And to-day Old Glory streams
Where desnots scoffed at It birth.
Whore a savage past blaapbeme
The welfare of all tbe earth.
Where worn-out dysastles shake
With the groans of the poor they spurn.
And the tire Its lightning wake
in the grave of Liberty burn.
Let It soar till It starry acope
Of destiny time unrolls
With tha world's to-morrow of bop
In Its promise to fettered aoula;
And the commonwealth of mankind
Tbe last rent scepter ahaU aee.
And tha test Slav march behind
The banner that lead the free.
Tboron Brown, In Youtii Companion.
THE WOMAN'S WORK
i By OtVXHQ lACHELLZl.
MY LIFE had been full of work god
worry. On leaving college I had
planned to do many tilings that I had
never done. I was to travel, I was to
read and study, 1 wna to wish and have
indeed what waa I not to do and
what had I done? Nothing but drudg
ery that had prospered so oatobeggat
roe of my best hope. The hurry and
hazard of buaineia Hfe had never gtven
me so much ewen as a day oil. It iad
been hard on my wife, and from tha
first I felt aorry for her, We had no
children and In our little flat my wife
Insisted that a servant would be no
help. I waa detained at my olDco fre
quently until neither my wife nor my
dinner were at their beat. I often ate
with suppressed emotion those days,
while my wife aat beside, me in tears,
and I could never quite understand her
grieving when I had iro fault to find
myself.
Early or late, I had no heart for
reading, or going after pleasure when
I got home.
Somehow the weight of the whole
daj seemed to fall on me of a sodden.
when I sat under my own roof. Gen
erally I lay on the sofa with my prpe
and paper, while my wife put away the
dishes. That done, we talked lan
guidly about the events of the day,
und were in bed by half after nine. I
loved books and bought them freely as
I prospered.
"I mny break my leg sometime," I
used to suy, "and then 111 hove a
chunce to rend them."
My legs remained unbroken, how
ever, and carried me year after year
on a steady round of toil. Other peo
ple broke their legs now and then, as
I read in the papers, and I regarded
them with a kind of envy. Many ol amy
domestic pleasures irs contingent n
that possibility of a brckm leg, I tw
ruember. It came to W a standing
joke with us, and there was a kit of
pathos in it, too.
We lsad been married about ten
years when I came home one summer
evening with extraordinary newt.
"Hello, reto," said I that was the
name I called her at home Tve. got
news."
"What do you mean?" she inquired.
"It isn't a broken leg," 1 unswered,
"but it's the next thing to it a vaca
tion. No more business for awhile
anyway. Now, I hope we'll have a
little comfort together, I want you to
join that reading club you spoke of
and go and see your friends that's
wliut I want. Til look after the flat
awhile myself. I can stand it for a
couple of weeks, anyhow."
We kept to the house that evening,
and kiid plans for the near future.
Next morning my wife went to town.
She was to call on some of her friends
and leav her measure for a new gown
and do a lot of delayed shopping. 1
sat alone reading for a long time af ter
she went away. There was a deadly
stillness in the flat, but somehow I
couldn't keep my mind to the book. I
had read ten chapters when I discov
ered myself groping in the gloomy
labyrinths of nn Egyptian tomb. How
I had get there was mystery to rue.
I looked back through a dozen pages,
but it was ell new. I had gone as far
as the hundredth page with nothing
more In my mind than I had had to
start with. I had been thinking over
the details of my businer-x ever fince
I opened the book. Suddenly a fhnrn
blast on the whlslle of tl:c Cnnl waller
-- TK mimm
vehicle nmt f sslirlssj p, presently,
and I took off a lot of string beana and
pat and green corn and potatoes and
beefsteak and butter, and a pair of
ducks, and tossed them all into tha re
frigerator. Evidently my wife had
stopped on her way and left orders for
dinner. She had told me where I would
find everything I needed for my lunch'
con. It was 11 o clock, and to re-
2iev my loneliness I went out for a
long walk.. I had no sooner opened the
kitchen door on my return than the
whistle spat at me as If I had been a
cog and it a cat, and no love between
us. I opened tbe door at the dumb
waiter and a woman's voice came ring
ing up the shaft.
"Did you take them ducks off the
dumb waiter?" it demanded.
"Guesa I did," I answered. "Thought
they belonged here. Hold on a min
ute. Til send them right down.
I rushed to the refrigerator for the
ducks, and as I did so the outline of
a dialogue that was very loud and
heavy on one side came echoing up the
haft. To my horror, I discovered that
in tossing the ducks into tbe icecham
fcer I had upset a bottle of ketchup and
a bowl of molassoa. One of them
looked like a chunk of rusty iron.
pave him a bath under the hot water
faucet and rubbed him dry with a
Turkish towel. Then I thrust them
both Into a paper sack and hurled
them Into the dumb waiter.
"Please, sor!" that voice shouted
again.
What madam r 1 answered, my
hand on the rope.
The Mrs. says you'd oughten know
that ducks warnt fer the like o youse."
"I know it, ma'am forgive me," said
I; "here they are," and then I began
to pull frantically nt the rope.
"That'll do," they khouted, presently.
I stopped, puffing with the violence of
my effort. Then a wild scream came
up at me thrortgh the shaft, and the
sound of angry voices,
"Please, sor," the woman called
again.
"What Is It, ma'nm?" I answered, my
head In the gloom of the shaft.
"The Mrs. would like to know what
ye put on them ducks,"
"Ketchup and molasses," I answered.
'Tm sorry. It was an ackrdent."
"May the dlvvle run away wld him,"
I heard her say then. "He's filled the
one o' thlm wld molasses."
There came a sharp answer, and then
the unfortunate ducks were flung back
Into the dumb waiter.
"The Mrs. says ye can take 'em an'
welcome," and before I could make any
answer the door of the shaft came to
with a bang and that stratum of light
in the depths below me turned to dark
ness. It would hove given me Treas
ure to buy another pair of ducks for
the good woman, but she had not
given me a chance to make the offer.
I would have gone and rang her door
bell in an offer to make amends, but
I had no idea where to find her. I ate
my lunch presently, and went to our
bedroom ami sat in an easy chair by
the window with my pipe. The hum of
msecta and the noises of the street
came up to me, increasing my sense of
loneliness. I looked about the room.
There were things in It I had never
seen before; silken covered bottles with
ribbons tied to them; a paper holder
delicately embroidered; photographs of
myself in little golden frames and
others, reminding me of times and
faces well-nigh forgotten; a hundred
trifles that, one b one, hod: gone un
noticed into the building of my home
and happiness, I opened a bureau
drawer full of plush, covered boxes and
silken belts and ribbons, and the smell
of violets. In one of the boxes there
were a lot of old beads and bracelets,
a discarded neck chain and many
useless trinkets be delight of some
fnr distant day. In another box there
was an old photograph of me a cal
low looking youth and a bundle of
letters. I untied them and sat down
comfortably to look them over. I had
written a lot of high-sounding rubbish
in those letters; I had made many
promises; I had painted many pictures
of what the future was to bring us. It
hod all been very different a life full
of drudgery for both, and for her It
must have been a desert I thought
of the days hi numerable and full of
loneliness that she had spent In that
gloomy flat I put up the letters and
went into tk aitting-reom. It waa two
reteck, and I took a book from Ha
shelf and lay ow apoa tka sofa in a
vain quest after kMM. This time
I would set ay maiMiatl road
aloud. I remember wtra I led fin
ished there was la any eSBeieaKsa
about this impression of what I had
rend:
"I purpose to write the history of
England from the accession of King
James the Secon down to n ttme that
is within the memory of men still liv
ing. I shall recount the errors; Good
Lord! I have made many errors,"
And so it went One standing near
would have heard the first chapter In
a well-known history of England, but
I heard only the history of my recent
life. I threw the book aside presently
and fell asleep. When I nwoke it wab
near five o'clock. The Hat was as dark
and silent as a tomb. My wife would
be coming soon, and I thought I would
get the dinner started. So I strung the
beans and pared the potatoes and got a
fire going. The pots were boiling mer
rily in a short time, and then I spread
the tnble and got out some of our best
china. It occurred to mo. suddenly,
that a few flowers would improve the
locks of the tnble, and so I hurried
down to a near shop ond bought a lot of
roses and ferns. On my return a
strong odor greeted me at the door.
The water hr.d boiled out of one of the
pots and the beans had touched bot
tom. The potatoes were also crumbling
nn the verge of dissolution. I made
things move so quickly then that I
scalded my hand with hot steam. I
lost my temper for a moment and flung
the empty potuto kettle Into the nir.
Ifleft Its blr.cl: footprint on the wall ,
and ram down with a mighty crash,
and aa it rolled back to ma, I kicked ft
across the room with a remark that
bad better be omitted. Then I heard
the door of tbe dumb waiter open jus
below me.
"Ve'd better break a hole in the cell
ing an' done with It," somebody shout
ed, I began to cool down a bit shortly,
and swathed my hand in a wet cloth,
and fixed the beana and potatoes and
put them away in the oven. They
looked all right and I began to broil
the beefsteak with a feeling of re
morse. When it lay on the platter at
last with a golden crown of butter on
it and a sprinkle of pepper over all, I
grew hungry at the eight "Now," I
thought "the quicker she comes the
better."
The table looked superb In its fresh
cover of snowy linen with delicate
sprays of fern surrounding the center
piece of roies, and little groups of
china decorated In blue and gold.
"There'M be one surprised woman
when she does coine," I said to myself
as I sat down to cool off.
I looked at the clock. It was half
after six, and she was long overdue.
What could hare happened to her? It
had been very hot in the sun perhaps
rlie had been overcome and taken to
some hospital. The gloomy day grew
dusk, and there was something in the
bilence like, tbe muffled footfall of the
coming night I sat a long time listen
ing, hoping, fearing, imagining all
manner of evil. I went into the dark
kitchen alter awhile and lit a match
and peered Into the oven. The Are had
gone down; the beans had settled and
turned black; the potatoes had a cold
end sickly look; the steak had shrunk
into a leathery patch at the bottom of
the platter. I went back to my chair
in the dining-room, utterly sick at
heart.
"If she doesn't come in half an hoir,
I shall send out an alnrm," I said to
myself, and then a ring at the bell
brought me to my feet.
neno, dear, said my wile, in a
cheerful tons, as I opened the door
"You poor thing, what has happened to
you 7"
"Madam," said I, with growing in
dignation, "I should like to know what
has happened to you."
'Goodness! said she in that same
kiodly and provoking tone, "make i
light and then I shall tell you."
"It s a fine time to be getting home.
I eakl, with suppressed emotion as I
lit a match; "where have you been?"
"Been to tbe cJubI"she answered.
"Been to the club!" I repeated, with
irony.
"ies; been to the dub," she went on.
ctepplng Into the bedroom and laying
off her things. "I stayed longer than
I intended and missed my train."
She used the same tone of voice with
which I had answered ber on similar
occasions, and oddly enough, it xvtis
about the same story I had told her a
score of times. While I was lighting
the gas In the dining-room I thoiifbt
how suddenly that feeling of romsr.i tc
tenderness had pone out of my h:irt.
"Come here, uld she, presently. "1
want you to look In the glass,
I had already seen it in the manMe
mirror that face of mine black will:
eoot and stern with emotion.
81: o came Id before I could atnrwcr
ntiil :iw the dinner table, and short)-.
we both went and washed our faces.
My dinner was cold ond weot with a
bad relish, but she fell to with a sail
ing face and a stout lienrt mid a word
of praise for everything, met t I had
done always.
I felt like talking after din;nr. It
wa a great relief to have somebody to
talk to swter that long and lonely day.
"Tell me what you have been doing
all day," I said.
My wife sat gaping, her head leaning
on her hand, a far-off look In her eyes.
She had not heard me.
"What did you say?" she inquired.
"Oh, come," I said, "wake upl Let's
have a good long talk. A wife H no
comfort to a man when she sits and
gaze at him like a nirmy with nothing
to say.
Tm too tired" that was her answer
"I've to get up early and go and meet
a friend of mine over in Brooklyn to
morrow morning. I must get through
with the work and go to bed."
"When am I going to have a word
with you? that's what I'd like fo
know," I said.
"Oh, by'n byt" she answered. "Maj-
be TO break my leg one of these days,"
IwgMlogrow thoughtful tien, and
go and helped her clear the table,
fl went lalo Uie Kitchen and wiped
m dishes lor her.
"How nice It is," sold she, "Just as I
am abl to go out a bit that you con
turn your hand to such things,"
'Not much, I answered; "I don t
propose to be anybody's servant girl.
Well hire one tomorrow, and then
we'll get acquainted with each other."
And that is what came of it
Aalmal at Play.
Cats delight in racing about but not
ho often, I think, in circlee as dogs do.
They prefer straight lines and sharp
turns with the genuine goat jump.
fhls sudden flight into the air, which
appears to take place without the ani
mal's knowledge or intention, connot
here be preparatory to life in the
mountains, but the cat finds the high
jump very useful, not only In pouncing
on its prey, but in escaping its hered
itary enemy. Brehm records a move
ment play of young chamois. When in
summer the young chamois climb up
to the perpetual snow, they delight to
play on it. They throw themselves in
a crouching position on the upper end
of a steep, snow-covered Incline, work
nil four legs with a swimming motion
to get a start, and then slide down on
the surface of the snow, often travers
ing a distance of from 100 to 150 meters
in this way, while the snow flies up and
covers them with a fine powder. Ar
rived at the bottom, they spring to
their feet and slowly clamber up a"!r
Cio .'if". -co .-ve slid dov.r..
E
TRAISniO THE Y0U8Q.
Read teatraettaa Is a Waaaaalty Wkers
t Raaalta Arw I Be
alia.
It la sot to be denied that wheel:
sometimes feel disoouraged at tbe re
sults obtained from tea years of per
slstent agitation, much thankless la
bor and considerable expenditure of
money In the esusa of highway im
provement At times the efforts that
have been put forth seem to have been
out of all proportion to what has been
accomplished. The temptation, then,
la strong to relinquish the work en
tirely to those who will be the moot
immediate and chief beneficiaries of
itt but knowing that the withdrawal
of their assistance would be the re
moval of one of the strongest supports
of the cause, they turn again to renew
their efforts in iU behalf.
There are some tilings connected
with the road problem that are better
understood to-day than they were a
few years ago, and they have brought
to wheelmena realisation that there
are many sections of tbe country In
which it is weil-nlgh impossible to in
terest or instruct the people on the
subject and where it msy take a gen
eration or two to eonvincetiem that
bad roads cost money while good
roads save It. Therefore, while in no
AN IDEAL HIOHWATip
(Teaoeck Road, Between Hackcnsack and
Engiewood, N. J.)
degree abating their own Interest In
highway improvement cyclists find it
for their own interest in such district
to secure the construction of cycle
side paths. Such paths are directly
beneficial to all concerned, for the
wheelman gets a good roadway and
the opposition are afforded food for
thought in tbe constant spectacle of
the easy, rapid locomotion of vehicles
over smooth surfaces.
This Is an educative influence, but it
cencot alwaya be counted onat suftl
eieni. To secure permanent results
It should be supplemented by practical
instruction, not alone to the adult
generation, but to the youth who wHI,
before many years, be called upon to
decide whether the mudwayt of the
past are to be retained, or whether
greater prosperity la to be courted by
the aid of hard and permanent high
ways.
Demonstrations of rood construc
tion held annually in every county;
building of sample stretches on scien
tific principles; effort to arouse In
terest by pronloting discussion in
farmers' granges and associations;
olroulatlon of readable, convincing
matter, and tbe like, are among the
meana that can be need to appeal to
tbe adult mind.
But youngvf minds ean be appealed
to more effectively through the ln
struotion of the schools and colleges,
In every one of which information on
the social and eeonomto value of good
roads ought to be given. This Is a
phase of the subject that has not yet
reeelved the attention its importance
merlta. Too much cannot be expected
of the present generation, but the on
coming one ean be trained to see the
great advantages of improving -the
highways, so that they will naturally
take up the work when their time and
opportunity cornea.
Uonbtl ess there are obstacles to be
eneountered in securing the introduc
tion of such instruction Into the com
mon schools, but they can all be over
come. Not the least among them, per
haps, is the fact that few teachers are
themselves at all well informed on the
subject and might not welcome it at
first Few work suitable for pur
pose of instruction now exist, and a
demand for them would be created;
but. in a short time, all this could be
remedied, and intelligent Instruction
given to the young would eventually
bring forth fruit a thousandfold.
Good Itoads.
Raaata lias Dad Itoada.
Baron Duquesne, sent to Russia by
the Touring Gub de France for the
object of inspecting the roads most
suitable for the projected Paris-St
Petersburg motor car race, has issued
a long report stating tbat roads, as
understood in the rest of Europe, do
not exist in Russia save in the immedi
ate vicinity of the largest towns,where
they are few and far between, and very
bad at that. He concludes that the
Intended race is almost an impossibili
ty, as the rough pathway used aa
roads would not allow one vehicle ever
reaching its destination. Eussla, It
would appear from the above, ia sot a
country that could be easily iirraded
unless the railways were secured first,1
' C round rye. It Is said, will not make
good, naely-flavpred, butter. '"iiUWl
it? "
GOski? OF THB STAGE.
A Japanese opera by Chester Bailn
Feraald, the author of "The Cat and
the Cherub," is to be produced In Log.
don soon,
Richard Mansfield bos secured tr
the Scribners the exclusive rights, tt
this country, for the dramatization of
Stevenson's "St Ives."
. Reginald de Eoven'a "The Fencing
Master" ia to be aungln London soon
wttk Marie Tempest in tbe leading
role, which she created In the Unittd
States some years ago.
Alice Nielsen, who ie to star next
season under Frank L. Perley. has
arrived aafely In Yokohama, Recent
ly the singer left San Francisco for
a vacation trip to China and Japan.
Lucien Gultry, for several years the
leading actor with Bernhardt, has
gone to another theater, where he will
receive a large salary, chiefly because
he owns two plays that are regarded
as probable successes.
Sarah Bernhardt has decided not to
appear as Josephine in a Napoleonic
play which was made for her. She
concluded after two years' delibera
tion that the role did not suit her, and
Coquelln has taken the play for the
sake of acting Napoleon.
A stir in London dramatic affairs is
made by the promise that Hall Caine
will appear at a charity matinee or
ganised by Ellen Terry, who is said
to have persuaded the novelist to do
o turn which has hitherto been seen
in a few provincial cities only.
Germany ia to have "In Old Ken
tucky" acted in Germany by a com
pany sent from the Pabst theater in
Milwaukee, and accompanied by ne
gro dancers and singers. The per
formance is seriously spoken of in
German journals as a return for the
appearances here of Sorma, Engels,
Kalnt, Posse rt and Barnay.
Wilson Barrett the eminent English
actor, has just closed his Australian
tour at Adelaide. Mr. Barrett's tour
has proved such an enormous financial
success his individual share of the
profits amounting to at least 13,000
sterling that he has already made ar
rangements to visit the antipodes in
1890.
CONTEMPORARY FUN.
Lodging House Clerk "Bed with
both, 15 cents." Weary Watkins "I
guess I'd rather pay a little more and
not take a bath." Indlanapolla Jour
nal.
She T wonder why it hi that sum
mer engagements never end in mar
riage." He (moodily) "The man
never ha enough left to marry on."
Town Topics.
Commissioner (to civil service appli
cants for places in the custom hou.se)
"When was the diamond duty most'
burdensome 7" Bright Candidate
"Just before my marriage, sir." Jew
eler's Weekly.
She "What o lovely summer after
noon! How resplendent the bright orb
of day bangs In the blue vault above."
ne "Y-a-a-s; nice day fer a feller to get
bis hair cut" Roxbury Gazette.
Jill "You puckered up your Hps so
then, that I thought you were going to
kiss me." Jack "No; I got some sand
in my mouth." Jill "Well, for
heaven's sake swallow itl You need it
in your system." Troy Times.
"Named your boy yet?" "Yes.
Called Mm Dewey 8." What is the S
for?" "I dunno yet whether it is for
Sampson, Schley or Smith, or his
mother's father." Cincinnati En
quirer. Heroes Yet to Come. "I understand
you have decided to postpone the chris
tening of the baby." "Yea, You see,
we can't tell who we may want to name
him after by the time this war Is done."
Chicago Evening Post
As Bad as Ever. Madge "On ac
count of the war, I guess there will
be no lack of men at the summer' re
sorts this year." Marjorie "But what
good will they be? Those fellows who
were afraid to volunteer wouldn't ea
ter into any engagements." Judge.
A Theory ."Mike," said Plodding
Pete, "how is it dat some o'dese peo
ple kin work day after day an' never
seem to feel it?" "Well," replied Me
andering Mike, reflectively, "I s'pose
dey is started in young an' gets to be
immunes." Washington Star.
GLEANED ABROAD.
The Sues canal took 13 years to build.
Germany prints twice a many books
as France.
In France there are 83 females to
every 100 males.
There are about 71,000 families in
Japan that live by fishing.
More than 75 per cent, of the trade
of Egypt is with British possessions.
In Berlin nearly all the repairs of
the principal streets are carried on at
night
It is said that about 50,000 servant
girls go from the German provinoes
to Berlin every year.
Prisoners when arrested in Morocco
are required to pay the policeman for
his trouble in taking them to jail.
A Japanese bride gives her wedding
presents to her parents aa some slight
recompense for their trouble in roar
ing her.
Simla, India, is built on the side of a
steep hill, and the roof of one house is
often on a level with the foundation of
one in the next tier.
Barcelona is now the most populous
city of Spain, the result of a census
just taken, showing 620,000 inhabitants
to Madrid' 607,000,
Siberia is an empire in itself. There
have been discovered along its line of
road 64 bituminous coal fields, 20 gold,
40 copper and two.sllver deposits.
Any Spaniard over the age of 10 ia
liable to be called into military service
for three years. By the payment of
X.T.VO peseta ($300) he can escape mill-
K'xiiik. .....