. I
, I.'
' I 4
V
Highest t all In Leavening Strength. Latest U. S. Govt Report.
ABSOLUTELY PURE
THE WIDDER WHARTON.
THE WISE BACHELOR.
llrr Dan W'tm Onn., bat There HrrmA to
IV others.
A conploof miles west of Prairie City
I was ovcrtakuu by a man on horseback,
who informed mo that there bad been
an accident In the town by wbicb a nan
had been killed, and that he wm then
on his way to troak the sad news to the
widow. fcilio occupied a dugout about a
mile farther on, and as we reached the
!!aco we fonnd her sitting on an old
box at the door and putting away at hor
pipe. She gave us a nod and a look of
inquiry, and the man with the mourn
ful news cleared his throat and blew bis
nose and Anally said:
"Mrs. Wharton, in (ho midnt of life
we are in death."
"Whut you drivln at?" asked the wo
man as she gavo him a sharp looking
over.
"Wo aro hero today and gone tonior
rcr," ho continued. "We cometh np as
a flower and aro cut down. "
"Who's goin touiorrtr?" she de
manded. "If you think I nra, you've
Hindu u iniHtikke. What's the matter
with you, Ktruiwr gcit crumps or sun
thin?" "Mrs. Vi'liurton, I am tho bearer of
UCW Ha "
"Waul, whut is it?"
"It's bad iipwk."
"LrtYr conin and don't bo bent in all
around tho hush. I tuxes goin to bo
higher?"
"No not thut."
"(Sot to giro our lands back to the
Injunn?"
"No."
".Tudginetit day coniin purty soon?"
"No. Widder VVhurton, wo know not
what a day may bring forth. "
"Waul?"
"Wo nro a wife in tho mornin and a
widder at night, and slob is lifo."
"Who's the widder?"
"Mrs. Wharton, our husbands go
forth go forth at tho rising of the sun,
and and"
"Look hero, mister man," said tho
woman as sho rose up aud lifted a
handy club from the ground; "hev you
got Miythin in pertioklurto say to me?"
' 'I hev, widder, " ho answered.
"Then spit 'er out and dou't act liko
n fool I What's hsppenedl'
"Tour huubund is no turn on this
earth."
"Why ain't he?"
"Cause he's dead. Hafellagih
..saw up-at the mill this mornin and
cut in two."
"Humph I Yon mean Dsn?"
"Yes."
"Gone fur good?"
"Gnno to n better land, I hope. Wid
der Whurton, may heaven gin you
strength to beur up agin this uwful
blow."
"Y-o-s nml Seo them critters over
by that haystack?"
Wo looked where sho pointed and
saw five men Kitting in tho shude of a
haystack, euch ouo with his faco in bis
hands and his elbows on his knees.
"Who's them?" uHked tho messenger.
"Callers," sho rejdied, "callers to see
if I was n widder and on tho marry, and
at leawt five inoro will bo along nforo
lark. I guess heaven will gin mo
strength to bear it, and I'm much
obleeged to you, And now I muHt go in
and chungo my uprou uud put on my
shoes and git ready fur a rush." New
York Sunduy Journal.
The llanlrat.
"And what, may I ask, do you find
tho most difllcult duty in your now
sphere?"
Tho other advanced woman knit her
brows.
"Well," sho repliod after a mo
ment's thought, "I guess tho hardest
thing I have to do is to pretend to bo
ufraid of my husband when I come
homo loaded latest night "Detroit
Tri buna.
Wuyeide Hubtlrtlt'a.
Wayworn Watson These biro 110 ws
paper writers is too high for mo. What
is tho ditferenco between liviu and ex
iKtin, I want to know?
Perry Patettic Heaps miles, oceans.
A man can exist on bread and moat,
but lie has to havo boozo to really live
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Tlie C'nllxrtlng; Craze.
"Mrs. Van Twitter is such unorigi
nal creature. "
"What has who been doing lately?"
"Collecting souvenir husbands. In
side of six mouths she has hud one
from rit. Louis, 0110 from Denver and
ono from Han Francisco." Chicago
Uncord.
Alligator Fanlilon.
"I liko tho looks of tho high standing
collar," said Cholly. "The only objeo
tiou I'vo got against it is that when
you chew gum you havo to hold your
jaw still and move tho wholo top of
your bead, you know." Chicago Trib
une. A ltcnilodrr.
Bluff I frequently havo something
flash upon my memory that I bad for
gotten for years.
Uraga Did ono of your flashes over
happen to recall thut ten you borrowed I
Dl mo in 1881)? Detroit Jj'rco Press.
Men and Women aa Thrf Appear to HI
Obeerrlnf CfM. ' ' ,
Flippancy is a woman's cyulolsni.
No woman can be a heartless flirt un
less she baa bad a real love affair.
When a man shows a woman the In
most corner of his heart, she pokes
around In it and says, "Is this all?"
Whenever yon admire a woman's
hair, she thinks you are hinting around
for a wstoh guard made of It
No matter how ashamed a girl feels
the first time she kisses a man, It never
occurs to her that the man may feel that
way too.
When a girl baa a grudge against a
man, she gives a chafing dish party and
makes blm hold the handle while aha
splashes little dabs all over bis cloth 0.
A girl who doesn't like a kiss ought
to be treated for it.
Most men could boar it better if they
weren't expected to grin.
A Woman can never ait in the dusk
with herrinsbaud without trying to get
romantic.
Lifo's "apartments" often turnout
to bo a hall bedroom.
Tho deepest thing in the bcart of an
old maid is an aohe for a littlo child.
When a rioh girl has kinky, block
hair, it is called "rippling midnight"
O110 of the queerest things is tbat a
nagging woman often loves her bus
baud. Somo women's idea of taking care of
men is by fussing with thorn wnon they
sit in a draft '
Somo men don't discover that they
aro fond of their wives till their wives
have got through being fond of them.
If all memory of tho past could be
blotted out every night, married folk
would be a good deal happier.
Somo time before sho is 90 every girl
determines either to bo a foreign mis
sionary or to spend her lifo washing
dirty babies.
When all the woman oallors insist
that bis first baby is the perfect image
of himself, a man sneaks up in the gar
rot and looks in a looking glass. Now
York Press.
An Apology,
Visitor Ah, that's an old master,
surely?
Mrs. Veneer (npologctieally) Ye-es;
but tho framo is now. Punch.
Ilia Fatal Venture,
Ono of them had a real football head
of hair und wore a sweater, while the
other wore a carnation in his button
liolo and could with difficulty soe over
his own collar. And tho girl who sat
immediately bock of thorn on the grip
beard what they were saying:
"Yon didn't seem to got on very well
with thut college girl at the dinner last
night," said tho youth in the sweater.
"Did sho want somebody elso to take
her in?"
"Sho seemed well enough pleased at
first," said ho of the collar gloomily.
"Then how did you huppon to fall
down?"
"Well, sho said sho despisod people
who pretend to bo what thoy are not."
"And you agreed with her?"
"Well, I saw no reason to disagree
with a girl whose father is worth $3,
000,000 und who is good looking enough
for a girl without a cent to hor name, "
"Good, old boy. What did she say
then'"
"Haid sho was glud to meet one per
son who was willing to pass for what
ho really was and not affect to know
inoro than ho did. After that we got on
liko a house afire,"
"That must have boon before I caught
sight of you."
"Porhupa it was. Then we got to talk
ing about a book we hud both road, and
I m ado uso of a French phrase which
seemed to describe it better than any
thing else."
"And wasn't she pleased with that?"
"I guess so, but that was tho end of
It"
"Pshaw, you're off your base. How
could that end it?"
"Sho said: 'Oh, you speak French.
don't you? How nice 1' and began to
ruttlo it off like a steam engine."
"Well, but you"
"I had said tho only French pbraso I
knew." Chioago Tribuno.
THE WISE BACHELOR.
Tba llver'i Joke.
"Why do you wear that very uncouth
looking suit?" said the mermaid, perch
ed on tho bowsprit of tho sunken vessel.
"Oh, for divers reasons," rejdied tho
humorist in tho diving bolL Yonkers
A Maater Stroke.
Testy Old Gent Huh? Do yon think
you can support my daughtur- in the
stylo (o which she has been accustomed?
Young Suitor Well, no, but I oan
support her in the style to whioh ber
mother was accustomed for a good many
years after she married yon.
Old Gent (subdued) Take her, my
son. and be hsppy. New York Weekly.
What He Baa to Ray Abowt Mea, Wla
aaa ChHSrva.
It would be a good deal mora sensible
if the men had chaperons.
A man never believes tbat the girl ha
is going to marry could ever grow as
fat as her no tier,
Tho man who puts off getting his
teeth fixed before be gets married ia al
ways too poor afterward, because ha has
to pay for tbe children a music lessons.
. When a woman's first baby ia 4
months old, she isn't happy till bus
takes it to a photographer and has its
pioture taken sitting on a hair rug with
all its clothes off.
A girl can't be in love and have a
bad cold in the head at the same time.
When a man says that nobody cares
whether be lives or dies, he isn t adror
tiling himself very welL
A woman loves a man better for some
times hurting her feelings.
When a girl admits that she has a
corn, she Bays she must quit wearing
such loose shoes.
jio matter bow poor a stick he la, a
woman always thinks ber husband is
an undiscovered genius.
A man always shuffles around and
looks unoomfortaMe when bis wife
talks about things that happened on
their honeymoon.
A man isn't likely to enjoy bearing
his wife talk with a woman who re
members him when he was a boy.
Wben a woman tells yon some gossip
about another woman, sho always bo
gins by saying, "Isn't it awful how she
bus got herself talkod about?"
When a woman gets an idea sho must
be economic, sho bunts around and
finds an old skirt to rip up.
It isn't that a man doesn't boo tba
faults in tho woman be is in love with,
but somehow tho faults seem lovablo.
After all a man's household goods
havo been carted around tho streets ou
a moving van ho feels as though the
neighbors had taken an unfair advan
tago of him.
A man hurts himself more in bis
wifu's estimation by being brutal to
other pooplo thun ho does by being bru
tal to ber.
Beforo a man is 25 ho spends most of
bis time trying to mako tho girls think
be is a dovil of a follow. Af tor thut be
spends most of it trying to mako them
think he isn't
The woman who fusses and scolds
and slaps tho children for an hour be
foro Sunday school time is often the
snnio ono who sits in the parlor all the
veiling with tho blinds up and plays
hymns on tho melodoou. Now York
Press.
What lie WanUd.
The old gentleman locked nt the
yout't r.'.tljer sharply over tho top of bis
ghiiM.es.
."I utber from your remarks," bo
said, "ilmt yon would liko to bo my
son-in-law."
"I don't cure a continental about
that," retorted tho young man with
considerable uepcrity. "Your daughter
has enough money in her own right to
satisfy mo. "Chicago Post
Deemed to Keanlnd Him.
"Speaking of that yellow old hum
bug, LI Huug Chang"
"By Goorge, I'm glad you spoko of
him. If be were hero, ho would proba
bly ask me : 'How about that lottor your
wife gave you tho other duy? Havo you
mailed it yot?' I'll go and do it right
now. "Chicago Tribuno.
nualnra.
Ho Miss Lncllu, I lovo yon madly.
Will you bo mine?
She This really is so sudden, Mr.
Bitsuis. I must havo time to think it
over before I answer you.
Ho Can't give you much. Lust car
goes in 15 minutes. Cincinnati En
quirer. An Awkward Addendum.
"So both your sisters havo murried,"
said tho man who puts his foot in it,
"und yon are the only one loft? Excuse
me," ho hastened to add. "I should
have ssid tho only ono remaining."
Indianapolis Journal.
A Convenient riireee.
"Who aro tho deserving poor?"
"The poor that those who spook of
thorn never find. "Detroit News.
A Complete Muceeae.
m a .Ta nM'ri
Ho Thank heaven, I'vo never disap
pointed my father's expectations sinoe
the day I was hirn.
She So he was expecting a girl, was
bo? New York Sunday Journal.
Mary Had a Little Bike.
Mnry bought a bike when bikes
With novul bwre Iwlow,
And evory where that Mnry went
Upon that bike ahe'd go.
he pedaled it to school one day 1
To teauti it waa her rule
And wbn tho children auw that bike
It orasjr luadti the school. '
And when from thence they hurried out
With all their purouta duar,
Tlu-y bruifud and pluadnd till to each
A bike there did sppuar.
And now the achoul Is oloaed, nnd oa
The town'a maoadamed pike
AN EXTRAVAGANT HABIT.
The White II aired Vet ran and Bis Greet
Faesloa Vor WfcKtUa.
The white haired veteran had a very
shame faocd look wben his wife came
up to where he was sitting in front of
the general store. The floor around blm
was covered with whittling. He fold
ed np a big jackknife and turned his
head to avoid the reproving glances of
his helpmate. ,
"I, was too late, wa'n't L" she ex
claimed in a tone of discouragement
Taking a pine shingle from under ber
shawl, she threw it down and said.
"I've driv cattle, an I've plowed land,
but keepin track of a man la wuss'n
anything I ever tried yit"
"I re'ly didn't think, ' he aald apol
ogetically. "I knowed ye wouldn't think. When
a man gits inter the way o' whittlin,
he joe' quits doin cv'ything else, seems
ter me. Boon's he once tastoa the joys
o' whittlin he's satisfied tor go ahead.
I put that shingle out on the porch an
tol yer exackly where 'twas. An yet ye
come oil wethout it"
"It does scorn kinder ongrateful in
me," he answered.
"Tftln't tho ongratitude as moves
me. Ye don't think I hurried down
here with that shingle owin ter a fear
thet ye d git ongrateful, do yo? I know
ed what was goin tor happen. I know
ed tin t if yo didn't bev nothln else
handy ye'd do whut ye did before, re
gardless of expense. That's the third
wooden leg ye've whittled np in the
last three months. I don't altogether
blamo yo fur whittlin, fur, ea I've said
before, when tho habit onco takes hold
it's wuss than fever an ager fur stickin
to a man, But I must say thet when
bo's got a wife thet's willin ter run
roun after 'im an keep' 'iin supplied
wetb material es don't cost nothin fur
him ter cut up three wooden legs, every
0110 of 'cm storo bought, in three
months.is downright shif 'less." Wash
ington Star.
...Jr-
Two View of th Aalijecte
m
xi in 1
f I I
mm
Mr. Outspoken If yon were not
bo large, Miss Maudlin, I would ask
yon to danoe.
Miss Maudlin I may look largo, Mr.
Outspoken, but I assure yon I should
foci small enough if I did dance with
you. Collier 'a Weekly.
Struck It Right.
"Yes," said tho reader of hats, "I
can tell tho moment I look at a bat
what kind of man tho wearer was, how
old, whut her tall or short, and other
characteristics. Oh, it's no trick. I
dou't know bow I camo by the facul
ty." "It must bo a gift," suggested one
of us.
"Liko second sight or mind reading,"
observed another.
"Bring on your bat," said a third.
"I'm anxious to seo bow it works."
A largo number of hats were pro
duced from one source or another, largo
huts, soft hats and stiff bats, aud tho
ownership was successfully couceulod.
Tho hut reader took a rather broad
brimmed soft, shabby bat and began to
inspect it
"This," ho said, "id tho hut of n
tramp. "
"How do you know?"
"By unmistakablo signs. The brim is
turned up in tho back. That comes
from often sleeping in haymows or un
der trees. It is pulled down iu front to
shade the face from inspection."
"Wonderful. Goon."
"Its owner was often hungry. lie
has gnawed the brim. He was dishon
est for ho hid things in the crown. The
shapo of the crown shows that he bad
the pointed skull of an idiot Am I
right?"
"I guess so, old boy," said tbe host
of tho occasion. "That's my hut, and
when I was on my walking tour this
summer I did nearly all yon mention.
Try uuothor." Detroit Free Press.
Buapluloua Clreuinataneo.
"It may bo mere coincidence" said
ho thoughtfully. "I hope that suoh is
tho caso. "
" What's that?" asked the other maa
"Why, every time I call at tho Jono
son's I find the doormat turned so that
the 'Wcloomo' is upside down as I bo
in and all right aa I start for tho
street." Cincinnati Enquirer.
Beady to Negotiate.
Reformer Mr. Grabbo, wo can count
on you to vote in favor of this bill to
prevent bribery in tho council, can't
we?
Alderman Well er what is the In
ducement? Harlom Life,
Somewhat Talkative.
Bacon Did yon know thore were
over Tae.OlS.&riO.GOO different whist
hands in a puck of curds?
Lubert Yes. My wifo tells me about
tucn ouo nearly every timo wo play.
Yonkers Statesman. j
lie Didn't Specify.
"I tell you," criod tho author, "I'rr
going to riso in this world. " 1
Tho editor eyed him doubtfully for
Ivo seconds and then asked:
"Balloon or elevator?" Atlanta
Liberal Adjustments, r - Prompt
HEMEMBEfy
H. HKRVEY SCHDCH
fFMFDAI IfVlCJD AMe n 1
Only the Oldest, Ptrongest Cjs1i Companies
V! V 1 !... . . ' '
xiiu, jjne, vcciuent ana Tornado
No Assessments No Premin!
aaBaaeaaaMieUl
The Aetna rounded A. D., 1819 ARsctsftTTn
" Home " " 853
i he Standard Accident Insurance Co
The New York Life Insurance Co.
The Fidelity Mutual Life Association,
Your Patronage Solicited.
Snecial Reduction al
CLOSIN G OUT SAI
I desire to reduce my stock J
20, and 30 per cent, on all
CLOTH INi
bought of me. A full and comif
line of Clothing is always w
hand.
Gents' Furnishinq Good
Don't fail to see the beat, ha J
in the county.
gi wm
ClQtl
FURNITURE, CARPETS AND
11 u
Mr
J . S 1 I II IT . I ,
I. .1 II
:0:-
Bright new deigtn loots!
every nook nnd comerofa-
Shapes and Styles Id thiaJ
yon seo your Ideal.
Cm
CARPETS, RULS, ART SIM
PICT LUES at prices soloittf
er merchants can not coop
-:0:-
Yours Respectfully,
Couches
W. H. FELIX, Lewb-
-Casli-Proke-W
B i I
On above terms wo will offer during the niontl
August, the following reductions ou goods namp'
All our
including Men's, Ladies', Misses', and Children's,
cent. All Ladies' and Misses' Oxfords 23 per cent
isuinuier Dress Goods, including white goods,30pe:
ALL CLOTHING 20 per cd
On 1C0 pairs Men's tine pantalons 20 per cent.
These are not ehon worn eroods. lint strictly fir
Come early and exaniino stock, for Cash buyer. KJ
atlvantago of this sacnlice sale.
HOCH & DLDT
Higiiest Prices Paiil for all Kinfls of Pm
Net 1
NEW DRUGS,
NEW MANAfiEB
1IDBLEBURG PHARi
W.H.SPAWGLEB