THE M1DDLEEURGH POST.
OEO. W. WAOOENSELLER,
Editor anj Proprietor.
Mikklbiu m i, Va., Fro. ?, 189fl.
I.ot ns Impo tli.it because of Alfred
A list Iii'm success all tlic politicians will
tint ?t art wilting poetry.
Spain may have a notion of selling
Cuba ti Hrent Britain, but what Is
L'llli.'n'niliK' to say ii fx MiT It?
tn tin- matter nf pert laureate the
century liccan with .1 I 'ye and seem-
fati'il to end wllh a piiildinnhead.
!"( Venezuelan Commission Is iimil(
up i' eminent lawyers Mini scholars.
There U no chance l'ir John Hull ti
criticise it on the score of respectability.
It appears that (he Constitution of
Yt ne.iiela forbids the alie.iation of any
o-tieii of her territory, which Is to say
that It is in perfect lia run ny with me
.Mnliree doctrine.
The (.;se allil lleteity With which
the liel'tnail I !n enilinlil pit lip HteaiH
on the Transvaal ipicstlon would Indi
cate that tin' tires had been hanked
llllder tlie hni'.e's for just sll'h an I Ilicr-
The 1 'resident of the Itoers once said:
''Von may pfuleet yourself acainst tin
eol.l air with weather strips, luit there
Is no prutei'tiiiii against lai.'lish Inlil
tratii'ii." The remark prohahly holds
ii I if America excepted.
.Japan has ordered the largest hatlle.
hhip in the world, and it will snoli he
l.i 11 1 1 1 1 ' 1 1 in lluu'laml. It will he paid
for Willi I'hillese money, which illus-
traie.s Die faet that a nation without
warhlps must build them for some oth
t country.
Mi an Invent, lietit of S.".."ihi tin'
Stale of Soiilh 'a ro ina has 1 learetl
.Vjlli.imil tlie business of M'llillt: alio
holie heVor.'lccs. Tlie otlielal fed Inker
is 1 1 t ylvln entire sat i-fai lion t I he
roiisumer, hut the Stal" has 110 reasnn
to I'uniplaiti of the revenue results.
Lord Salislmry says of iniernat ioiial
arbitration that "It has proved itself
valuable in many rases, hut it is not
free from defects." .Ills! so. WlieU
your adversary is bliriier than you are,
arbitrate by all means. Itut If he Is a
little fellow Without friends, let llilll
have it at iiiiii1 in the cervical region.
The governor of Alaska reports that
ijiore than n liui'dro;' specie if food
Liau biViuui 111 the win ere of the terr!
tory, mid that tlie value of the salmon
prepared for market now ciwiIh
(KNi.tiiNi 11 year. With proper regula
tions the supply of none of these lis!)
Will be seriously reduced, and CiiiiKresh
Would be well occupied ill ;ivlne; tin'
matter attention.
l'iuures just iubllshei show that the
Hhipineiii of iron ore by water from tin;
Lake Superior mines tor the year 1VO
foots up 1' .',.'tT.i'V' tons, breaking' all
former records. Tin- total last year
was T.Tls.iUMi tons. Lake vessels have
had a heavy season in freights, and
shipbuilders are at v.oiU on forty four
liov lake ships, valued lit ST.Nnil.om,
all o i. eoniplete.l by next August.
Tie' retr ssiou of Alsace and Lor
raine by (lermany to France would bo
a wise lanve for 1 he fonnci' coiititry.
It would not only w i t) I'ranee's aetivi'
friendship for ijerinany in the present
trouble witli Lnul.iini. bill it would end
the ..-!iilv 1,1'lwii'!! the two, and
would enable each, alter the l'.ritisli
ilillieiilly ended, to reduce its wa:
Ktreiiuili and iliiulnish its expenditure.
This would be au immense ;:ain lot
iennativ, V, hieh is Hot iplite so Well
uhle to bear the strain as Frailer is.
Til.- first deaths from the new pis.
Meet lcie. are reported. Three men
were killed and live others Injured by
au explosion in a tank holder ;n New
Jlavi n, Conn. Also the budding was
M't on lire and destroyed, with the
greater part of its contents. At one
tline it was feared tlie disaster was
l:ir in. ',. s,Ti,iiis than lu re stated, as
I'bout j. riy pic were in the build
im; at the lime of tlie explosion, mid
for awhile ii was rumored that fully
half o t hem had perished.
T! e s-ivnt lake have assumed an Im
poi'i .; ; m e in 1 1 a i iic a ud navigation never
hebii',. known. '1 his condition of In-ilu-iri.il
lolval Is almost entirely due
to the i nonuoiis output of irmi ore in
the u; per lake jeyioii and tlie yreat
jtrai.i harvests of ihe .Northwest empire-..
Mild the coliseiiellt ilclualld Up
on transportation tonalities, together
with i 1 1 1 a 1 and other Improvement
work, has combined to stimulate ship
bMil liiii: to an unprecedented decree.
Twciiiy-oiie stce! steamers of Hie li.IKH)
ton class, six steel schooners of an
eipial capacity and nine In rue wooden
Vessels will be uildilions to (he tlt'cts
transact im: lake commerce next year.
Tell of the hli; steel steamers 'lire for
the ore trade alone. There have lieeu
ome heavy josses on tin.' hikes, In which
forty-thivo boats, valued lit .?77S,"ik
and measuring lii'V.i.l net tons, passed
out of i-xistenci'. The insurance losses
Were Ihe largest on record.
A. n A(1iuIhhoi',
Rcvtor Mr. Jones,. I am sorry tO'tfll
you that I oti-.v your boy flshujjihvlt
Sunday. 4541'.
Mr. J nee Confound th youni ras
cal! I tloiUtflit it T stranjje I couldn't
find ,D7 fWhliu r?3 London Telo-
C3BWEB3. .
Prl'lpr. plJer! wente thy thr
O vr It vlnx, over dond j
From mrly mora to miwot red,
FpiD, uplder, upln,
Over nln?r Anil Kravf 1,
Ovir moiinilg whore f?ren irriiM wavo
Where i"tnam the runhr lnvei,
Hpln, uplier, pln.
Over hovi'ln Idaek with grime,
Over ninny jwne of crime,
tivi-r ninny n ilncd 5iil,llmi',
Hpln, jipidor, iipln.
In Inte nutmnn'fl plcnsnnt dnyx,
With wide wnh nnd artful wnys,
fjunrlntf rvcry fly thnt stray,
Spin, yphlor, K In.
I)on 1 mnn Mrotehod on lonoly blcr,
Ki'ar'e n soul dnrn venture nunr,
JVi't pns. qul"t, utoppoj In fvnr,
Hpln, gilder, cpln.
Ovrr sorrow, ovor mirth,
Over cvrrytlilc on enrth,
Ovur di'nth, mi l over hlrth,
Spin, iili'r, upln.
Spim thin coliwehhy old earth,
J'orthnt purpose Rnvo thpehirthi
Other ileitis are nothlnij worth;
fpin, spider, spin.
(Tinmbers's Joiirnnl.
THE WORLD'S WAY.
NDOUBTEDLY those
who knew Lira brut
would never have
stilectc(l it. A club
man, a bon vivnut,
hero of an endless
array of more or Icsh
exciting love scrapes,
gentleman anil all around K'od fellow
lie, CharliolDrowD, actually in the
inesheH of love, frightfully, teutiuient
ully, tlecperately in love.
And with whom? A girl ho con
fessod did not caro a enap for him
Mary Chisholm, rich, cultured, trav
eled, cynical ami proud.
"Look here, l.rown," said Vnn
Tweet, one tiny, in Rrown'a room,
throwing onn le;j over tho over and
looking liis friend straight in tho eye,
'Vomctliiuh' very serious istho matter.
1 have ijuictly studiotl you for somo
time and iluc,'iiosoi your case very
carefully. You aro in loic. Come,
now, who in she? Out with it."
Lrowu tried to look surprised, mi l
the.i llippant.
"Tut, tut!" said Van Tweet, "yon
enn't Mtuulutc any beguiling non
chalanco hoforo 1110; you can't tlcceivo
Van Tweet. If yon aro in trouble over
nu utVair of the heart, uake mo your
confidant. I haven't a thing in the
world to worry about. I haven't even
a thing to think about just now. Let
me in on the ground floor. Now, then,
it'n love, isn't it?"
Lrowu swept his hand over his fore
head and titrttchod h'volf. like a man
who la undergo'" t "glo with
himself, and then ho natted out:
"It's love 1 JuNt think of it! I
mc falling in love I Don't you think
trepanniug would bo good for mo?"
And ho jumped to his feet and
towHled uis hair liko a tragodian.
"Sit down, Urown. It's a michty
good thing you rolicved youraelf of
this secret. Tho fever has mounted
from your heart to your brain. A few
months more of this suppressing agony
and I don't know but trepanning
would have proved tho only remedy.
Hit down, 1 say. Now, tell mo all. and
after I am iu possession of tlio facts,
as wo say in a uewsnnper oflice, I'll
heli) you to do somo thinking."
It was the saino old hypnetie power
which ho exercised over ull men and
all women, too, that mado Charlie
l'rowu reliu'piihh all resistance to Van
Tweet's appeal.
"All riht," said Ilrown, after a
moment's reflection. "I trust you with
my secret on voiir promise of sileuce.
I have been, liko Tantalus, tho posses
sor of a ravished heart ever sincu I met
jMiss'Chisliolm at tho beach lust season. "
"Oh, it's Chisholm, is it?" suid Van
Tweet, interrupting him.
"1 don't kuow what possessed mo to
fall in lovo with her," continued
llrowu ; "but she provoked mc."
"That's right; the woman is always
to bluiuc," put in Van Tweet.
"Sho provoked mo ly her infernal
indifference, Tbero sho was, tho con
scious centre of a lot" of follows, all
trying to make themselves agreeablo,
uud sho only laughed at them laugh
iug at" them as a quien might at a
roomful of gibbering parrots. ,Sho
thought sho was too good for tho
lot."
"And most likely she was rifiht in
her conclusion, " said Van Tweet.
"What did that concern you? Did
you try to make a parrot of yourself
as well?"
"Try?" echoed Brown. "Try?
Orciit Scott, 1 was tho worst of them
all."
"You crouched at iier feet nnd
twauged your lyre like tho rest you,
"i3rown?"
Vau Tweet was cvideLtly surprised.
"Ob, not like the rest," said LSrown.
"Catch rno bearing any woman's train.
No, I did worse, as I an about to tell
you. First, I studiously avoided hor.
Sho must have noticed it, and boforo
long she teemed not to see me at all.
I knew what that meant She was go
ing to punish me by protending that
there was no such peram us Charlie
Drown on this terrestrial plane.
"Ho I laid myself out t be coldly
scornful as she. You ought to have
tieou us. And bo things went on, un
til wo were all in the eirf together,
and it fell to my happy lot to rescue
Miss Chisholm from drowning.
"It was a more serious matter than
I had reasoned. Expert swimmer as
sho is, she completely lost her senses
and she folded her armt around my
ueok as impulsively if we had been
old acquaintances. All this ooourred
under water, or I shouldn't have
minded it half as much.
"Anyhow, I rescued l,or, together I
with about a ton of salt water, bioh !
made me sick for a week,' and after
that we were worse enemies than
ever.
"I ay we," continued Brown, "but
that it a little too sweeping. By what
process I know not, but from the mo
ment I held her in roy arms nnd
dragged hor limp and dripping to
where her mother and brother could
lay hands on her, I felt felt "
"You'ro sure she hates you?"
' "'Oh, I havo no doubt of it," said
Brown. "I called, and that call com
pleted my downfall. I havo
never had the same respect for myself
since."
"And yon think sho hates you?"
"By jove, I tell yon sho is getting
even with mo for being the instru
ment of fate to rescno her from tho
waves. That girl would a thonand
times rather have died than owo her
life to my efforts."
Vnn Tweet thought for the briefest
of moment1', and then looked up like
a physician w ho has reached a con
clusion at his patient's bedside.
"Urown," he said, "you aro either
a fool or else you are perversely en
tertaining I will not rven say be
guiling your heart with an interest
ing illusion. You know that the girl
lovts yon, or else you aro to blind
that it would be charitable to hold yon
tiou compos mentis. Now, don't try
to bewilder my judgment with a mass
of pretty fancies conjured up just be
cause the girl has too much good sense
to fling herself into your arms tho first
time you knock at l.er door. Your
confounded pride does not allow you
to sco that she is ju-t as proud as you
are; bnt the right is all on her sid.j,
and yon aro ncting tho part of a very
stupid ass, if you will pardon my
plainness, for not stritpiug oil' this
unbecoming dignity at ouco and going
to her very humbly with u plea for
pardon"
Pardon?" exclaimed Brown. "I ask
pardon I?"
Van Tweet's ryes began to flash
angrily. ".See, here, old mail," ho
said, "this girl is far too good for you,
and you know it. Do you stand there
and tell mo that you lovo her, love
her to distraction, to rashness
for you do and yet hold her too
cheaply to humiliate vourself bv ask-
I iug her what? whether sho loves
you?"
But Brown insisted that ho kuew
what ho knew, smote the side of his
chair with his I'.st, and declared that
nothing could alter his views. She
hated him, and was only waiting for
him to humblo himself, liko the rest
of her suitors, so that sho could givo
him his quietus, and pay him oil for
having saved her life.
The next morning Miss Chisholm
received tho following letter by mail :
"My Dear Miss Chisholm Will you
pardon me if I avail myself so late of
a long standing invitation to call, and
may I hop home this
evening? Cordially yours,
"P. R. Van Tweet.
Van Tweet found Miss Chisholm
both cordial and radiant. They talked
about the latest book of short stories.
They they switched off to discuss
operas and the visit of a Parisian star,
and then Van Tweet brought Brown
on tho tapis.
"You kuow Charlie Brown, of
course?" ho begau.
"Oh, very well. Ho favors mo oc
casionally with a formal nail," she
said.
"Well, you ought co know him bet
ter," said Van Tweet in his peculiar,
mntti r of fact way ; "ho is really a ro
markablo character. Of course you
re'id in to-day's Beagle how he acquit
ted himself iu that row last night?"
"A row Mr. Brown?" asked Miss
Chisholm, with a manifestation of
mild surprise. "Is Mr. Brown in the
habit of engaging in rows?"
Vau Tent produced a copy of tho
Beagle ami rend :
"Shortly "past cloven o'clock Inst
night Mr. Charles W. Brown, tho well
known clubman was going home. Ho
heard a woman's voice calling for help
near the corner of Waldon street and
Verona avenue, which is rather dark
nt that hour. Running in tho direc
tion nfthe cries ho saw three rulllaus
bending over tho postrato body of au
old man, ami a young lady a short dis
tance away screaming for assistance.
"Mr. Brown ran to the assistanco of
the postrato man, doalingtho first ruf
llan a blow that sent him sprawling in
to tho gutter, and giving tho second a
lovo tap on tho unglo of tho jaw that
ma In him forget tho day of tho week.
Tho third man clinched, but in a trico
Mr. Brown had thrown tho fellow over
his head and was complete master of
the situation. As soon as the assail
ants could gntht r themselves together
they tied, leaving Mr. Brown iu undis
puted possession of tho field.
"The facts developed by a reporter
of tiio Bcaglo show that Mr. R. X.
Walter, tho well kuowu wholesale gro
cer, had attended one of tho theatres
with his daughter, and had left tho
cable car about threo blocks from his
residonco. Turning tho corner of Wal
don street ho was suddenly set upon
and knocked down by ouo of tho three
assailants, who had evidently planned
to rob him.
"Mr. Brown, in tho struggle v.ith
tho last of tho three men, was wounded
by a knife thrust. He was able to
walk home, but bled profusoly, and is
under tho caro of a surgeon. At the
timo of going to press no interview
could bo obtained with Mr. Brown,
and tho physioian doolines to state
whether his injuries are serious."
Miss Chisholm had listened to the
account with a pale face and trembling
lips, and when Van Tweet folded up
the paper and tossed it carelessly on
tho table, he saw her eyes tilled with
tears and her hands clasped.
"Oh, the poor fellow I" she ex
claimed, in a sympathetic tone ol
voice.
After all, thought Tan Tweet, she
feols only a broad sympathy that
would be extended to any other man.
Sao doesn't
That night Brown was much Im
proved, and Van Tweet was admitted
to his room. Mingling with the odor
of iodoform and carbolio acid Van
Tweet's olfactories were able to distin
guish tho scent of roses that came
from an enormous bouquet on a small
table near the invalid's bodsMc.
Brown himself was in bright spirits.
He held out his hand with a happy
smile.
"Phlebotomy seems to havo done
yon some good. I haven't seen you ia
such a lively state of mind sinco you
fell in lovo with Miss Chisholm," said
Van Tweet, slyly.
"Yes," said Brown, with a smile,
"tho operation on my heart has done
me much good in that connection."
"You'll got over your wound, tho
same as you'll get over your love for
Miss Chisholm," gravely remarked
Van Tweet. "When a man of sense
comes to tho conclusion that a woman
doesn't love him tho recovery is rapid."
"Yes," slid Brown, with a concealed
smile of supremo happiness.
"She isn't worthy of you."
"You thought fiho was too good for
mc," said Brown, in a tono of resent
ment. V?o I did," said Van Tweet, "but
then I've sounded her and found she
doesn't lovo you. On tho wholo,
you'd better give her up and let mo
try my luck. I've taken rather a
fancy to her myself, and I think I'm
not altogether indifferent to her."
"Jo, if you waut to bo laughed at,
like the rest of tho fellows," replied
Brown. Ho pointed to tho flowers,
"Aren't they refieshing?" ho asked.
"Very biautiful," said Van Tweet,
hardly noticing them. "From your
landlady, I stlpposu?"
1 "No 1" said Itrowu, "from Miss Chis
holm." "tut out !" he exclaimed. "The ago
1 of miracles is over."
I "Van," said Br.nni, "if this infer-
I linl i.i.l .tniu'l .-.it Inn tlrt.d lAi.nm.
it. .i .jiiiMi uui.,.l b pc lw liuin UU will
bat I'll marry Miss Chisholm in sis
months, dust real this-."
"My Own I have learned of your
injury, an 1 my heart i.i pressed with
iiamclciM agony led something serious
should ensue. It has prompted mo to
a quick decision, a decision I could
have given; you many mouths ago if
you h'ld but spoken. For my aki
get well, my hero uud deliverer I I
shall await with trembliug and fear
news from your bedside, news that
you nro out of danger, and shall pray
for you night and day."
Vau Tweet glanced at the signature
aud folded up tho letter without a
truce of emotion. "Woman," he said,
solemnly, "thy uarao is mystery. How
did it happen?"
Browu smiled as ho had not smiled
in months. "I had left her house but
0 '"vi moments before tho scrimmage
0 rred in Waldon stroet," he begor
" '.to ry fcrraaL Sotur
'.vords kept ding-donging
throu y head. I eaid to myself
to bo 1 ral coward aud tremble be
cause a woman may turn you down is
almost as bad as to run when your
manhood is assaulted. It was a hard
light, but I mado it. And"
"Sho accepted yon?" asked Van
Tweet.
"No; she was not to htt had so
cheaply ; but I loft her with a strong
impression that I had won a viotory.
1 left her with her decision in abey
ance. Tho letter tells the rest."
Van Tweet congratulated Brown,
but there was a ciotid on his brow as
he took his departure.
"I thought 1 knew something obout
human nature," h.i muttered, "but
when it comes to telling what a woman
menus I'm fet ill in my swaddling
clothes."
Isn't thnt the way tho world wags?
Washington Post.
ulislinacy Kilh'j a Tiirivinir Village.
Chicago is composed of 0110 largo
aggregation of buildiugs aud of num
berless smaller collections, which be
fore annexation were denominated in
dependent cities or villa-jes. Homo of
these were manufacturing places only,
while others wero merely lodging
places for workers in tho groater city.
Oueof these, Cunimiugs, va-,six year
ago, a most thriving iron manufactur
ing town. Nails, espeoially, wcro
turned out galore.
Then ihero arose trouble botweon
tho employers and tho cmployod. A
general strike enme on, but tho fac
tories continued to run, although
there were lights of almost daily oe
curreujo between tho strikers aud
those who took their places. Many
wero frightened by the constant menace
to their police, aud departed for other
placos. Soon tho employers grow
weary of the strife perhaps low prices
had somewhat to do with it aud
closod up their shops.
Five years have since passod, and in
all this time the place has been dead
as the ruins of Ephesus. No souud of
hammer has been beard, no lire of
forge has beeu kindled. What was
onoe a thrifty and growing commu
nity has become iuert, pulseless. This,
too, within the circumvallation of a
great city of l,500,00d souls. Now
York Tress.
Tho Agea of Trees.
As there has been moro or less dis
cussion about the ages of trees, it will
be gratifying to know that a Gorman
forester, who is considered as author
ity, says that the oldest trees ia Uer
many are known to havo lived nearly
GOO years. Tho silver fir has flour
ished for upward of 400 year3, and
the evergreen oak has been known to
live 410 years, while other varieties of
oak are from 315 to 820 yean old.
The larch has stood tho storms ncd
shines of 275 years, the red beech 243,
the ash 170, the birch 200, tho aspen
220, the mountuiu maple 225, the elm
130 and the red alder 145 years. New
York Ledger-
do matter how ebicnre.
love him.
BUDGET OF FUi
HUMOROUS SKKTCIIKS Fl.
VARIOUS SOURCES. 1
Good Intentions Explained Dre
"Wouldn't Encourage It
Abreast of the Times Au
thoritative, Etc.
Tliouph some 'gnlnst resolutions rai
A stups that le.vl ns to a fn'l,
Tl better to roaolvo and fall
Than never to resolve at all.
Uoston Courier.
rtri.AtNKi).
"Mame, what is classical mnsic?"J
"Oh! don't you know? It's th
mud that you have to liko whethb.
You like it or not." Puck.
or.KEN !
Mistress "Did tho man rend 11
lobster?"
Bridget "He did, mum ; an' Oi
Pint It
back. 'Twas not roipe. '
Judge.
pr.FlNKP.
Bcnnie "What's a conversational
ist?" .Iconic "Oh, it's a man that doesn't
havo to stop talking wh;n he hasn't
got anything nioro to stiy." Truth.
worms 't r.Noonuon it.
Rho (affectionately) "I lovo to
mako you happy. Is there anything I
can do for you, my dear?"
Ho (snarlingly) "No, there isn't.
I hato to oncourago selfishness." To
Dato. AIUIEAST OV TUB TIMF.fl.
Traveler (in the West) 'Those In
dians aro more or less civilized, aro
they not?"
Native "Civilized? Why, the
medicine-man is treating six case of
oppendicitis?" Puck.
rnoM tup, rnmiYnoAT.
First Commuter "I wonder what
tho grounl runt of that high building
is?"
Second CotDtnuter "I'm fsiiro I
don't know, I only wonder what tho
ky rent must bo." Truth.
CAN BK IMAilINri).
Dnzzcy "So Fitzl.ooby was intoxi
cated last night, was ho?"
iJochey "Yes."
Dnzzcy "How badly?"
Doohey "In tho full scnao of the
word." Boxbury Gazette.
ACTHOKITATIVE.
Big Sistet"Dick, I think it is
time littlo folks wero iu bod."
Little Dick (on Mr. Ticefeliow's
knee) "Oh, it's all right. Mamma
aid I should stay here until she came
WnBtai--." New York Weekly.
onis EXCErno.
"I .d want to keep som.et
remember him by, so I retui n
ing to
1 all of
his presents but ouo. a
that
right?"
"Certainly, my dear, VtU c did you
keep?" ,
"The ring," Judge.
A rUOFESSIONAL TntAr,.
Doctor "Your wife is iij a critical
state; I should adviso yoiitocull mi
some specialist to consult op tho case."
Husband"! told my wife long ugo
sho ought to get proper lue.lieal iul
vicc, but sho thought vO'.j wculd bo
offended."-Pick-Me-Up.
KSOWINd.
Albortu "Tie must i'O in earnest,
nnd those places whero n's letter
sticks togetiier must be t'.virs. "
Alethea "They're tiot tears, but
they prove positively that ho Iovoh
me they are where he 'ippod his pun
in tho mucilage." Jui l;-v.
I.MIIT OV Till! vr.STP.riT.
First Detective -" Si-h i ! Now I
understand why the sufiwas not blown
open. This burglary s committed
by a woman."
Second Detective- -How do veil
know?"
First Detective ".' ore's tho hair
pin." mi imow i: jloino.
Junior "Whero is Hopless to
night?" Senior ".To is i his room. He
has a terrible hendai lo. "
Juuior ' fiiat is too bad. Has ho
dono anything ior 1 ?"
Senior "No. 'to imagines it, is
growing pains ho i suHferiug from. "
Truth.
Kuaai'sn. iiy a victim.
Mr. Boreh'im (who has already
stayed over au hi ur and talked ubmu
himself tho wh lo time) "Yes, Pui
sorry to say I'm' martyr to insomnia.
i ve tnoa every iing, but Icaunot get
bleep at night."
His Hostess (sweetly)-"Oh, but. I
can toll you a very simple remedy,
You fchould talk to yourself after go
ing to bed." Punch.
nK IIEMl THE MEDALS.
First Cyclist "Do you see that
gentleman yonder? Ho holds thy
largest number of prizes aud medals
ever possessed by any ono man."
Second Ditto "What? that fellow?
He doesn't look a bit like a cham
pion." First Ditto "It is just as I tell you,
though. He is a pawnbroker, you
eee." Central blat fur Radsport.
Curious Typojo-uplik'ul Error.
A curious typographical error re
cently appeared iu a daily paper. Li
giving an account of an iu'iuosr, it
was stated: "The deceased hore an
aooidental character, and th? jury re
turned a verdict of excellent death."
i
. - ' .
ill
Nl
April, May are most cmr-hatlemHy the mot.'
or taking a good blood purllh. Wnusn ,
ystera Is now mot In need of su.-h a m.
Ine. nn;1 because It more quickly rspoi;
, mpdlclnnl qualities, la winter linniirit
, out of tho body freely, but 1
,,.i,.. in the blood. The best mcll-'i
.mrlfv. enrich and vitalize the blood, m
is trlve strength and balUl up the sysb
Hood's Snrsnrnrllln. Tlinn-atuls tnko II
IrSerlinf MpiH'dnei nnd morn nrntakl:
to Inv than ever 1 fore. H you are tin
... f ...Ha " nervous, have bad taste
morning, nohlng or itlwry head,
ii. h nn.l feel all run down, a cours.
Ts Snrii.nrilla will pat your wh
In good order ami mako you siphi,: 1
roil". It Is the Ideal Spring Metll
;riio I. '"rve tent'', bei'iuiso
Sarsararilia
f One True tilnod l'im
ril cmly by V. I. 11 hmI
'Hit. AlltlniBU'ist-
., l.ow.11. M.
H )dfs PKIs
, --.i'tiihli'.i'
are jitir. 1 v. ,
lulu I'li-inrcu -
hrnilehes of tlie MlH"isip,l I I
km'" length of Je.tiiKi mile. t
- - - - "1
I lll.f, Fl'tllit' Hlllt llllftillffl.
wind over frezi'ii pounds and Ink".",
lew-lh'lds of plains and open eountry,
ily changed wish frost and line pur
T fr ieii mutter. It Is the nio:t i'i'-,i-
iy for e'ail to set in. Ku.l I. m
I. Sll l li'll I'lilll, lllld severe I'lild.-i
..I buys t kal oi", ilriving for p'.eiein'o
on'.'.-, nnd nu n nt work atlel I know
II 'rein ii in temperature. Yet the
ters skate awav ami with month open
tig Ink" In a iln.m of pori'throni.
s nnd workmen throw aside whips nnd
I
.11 I
ll'S;
est
v lae uet day from soreness nnd st ItT-,-'iut
sii .Men ihill mentis. Now liie
liiigt'i do when lnue.l (i to ruh W 'll
it n ! with St. Jacobs oil. II you do, you
vlll nt iinve sorethrnat: or if yon am t-tiif
lie!
t
re, it will ciirehy win iiiing the surin v
jw out tlll't'l.ill.
His) Worttt's llnilltisl ruUto.
T .t Sulzer's r.urliest, (it for uso In IS
day Sulzer's now lalo potato, C'l.auipluu
of ) renounced tho heaviest
viol ,nnd we chnllnnge you
to f .1 ! 10 aeres to Sal.nr's
Em. 'l v-uuous yield .W bushels, sold In
Tui t ! a buauttl-iaj.
That pays
woi :o ina w"'
Now ir toc will ocr r.
with 10c. postage to the
Co., La Crosse, Wis., you
pnclcngi grains and grass,,
llnte, I. byrus, Ksnd Vteh,
Spnrr.
Innt C. er,
catalog Uv.
etc., aud tur mammoth s"-
(A,
P
mm
vjri i
Gladness Comes
With n better understanding of the
transient nature of the many phys
ical ilia which vanh.U before proper ef-
lorts gi'iuteetlorts piensnnti'lrorls
rightly directed. Thero is comfort in
the hnowlcdgo that so muny forms of
sickness tiro not duo to any uctunl dis
ease, but simply to n constipated condi
tion of tho system, whieh the pleasant
family laxative, Syrupof Figs, prompt
ly removes. That is why it is the only
remedy with millions of fcmilles. nn.t U
everywhere esteemed so highly by till
who valuo good hcnlth. Its benetieial
ctTccts are duo to the fact, that it i; tho
one remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness, without delulitutin',' tho
organson which it nets. Itis thereforo
nil important, in order to get its bene
tieial etreets, to lioto when you pur
chase, that you have the genuine article,
whieh is manufactured by the California,
Fig .Syrup Co. only, und sold by ull rep
utable druggists.
If In tho enjoyment of good health,
end the system is regular, then laxa
tives rr other remedies nro not needed.
If nlilictod with any actual disease, one
may bu commonded to tho nioht M.illful
physicians, but if in need of a laxative,
then one should havo tho best, nnd with
tho well-Informed everywhere, Kvrnpof
Figs stands highest ami is most largely
used and gives most general satisfaction. ,
r n it o
Solid Silver Watch Free!
to nnjr niau, wnmnn, fooj or lrl who will wollelt
order for ourVrrltn llrutmi A Hindi nif.nl,
Kllli ll nellH fur 15 eents e.li-h. il Illiiki'H Hweep.
ins a l'U'tnmru. Mop, Hinder, ludew Windier,
ti'., nil inndu from ouo Lroein. Addre fur
iarltcultir,
Werline Novelty Co., Lancaster, t'n.
HKND
Uud u J khtiw vim ii.t u
n Uh lliowtitk and Uwli you tr you
work In ltu Im'.ilKy wh.-r you im.
At-ul uayur tildristtmi'l wi will 1 1 '
lb" buInM fully i rt-'inuiui -r vn
f work 1 alM.lutt-ly iur-: writ.
tiita-t- near tiiii hi 51 mr'tT
I HA I4KHM K tafc ll Now Ciuli U,.KI
I prUt. ilitfiMiy, NaliuUttlCCu., Vlu
I noatl-OUAih 8vrnii. T
I 11 tillin ii..,t K ... ...1...
April
&7 vmm
el uin
l; sv v,jf r.jr