THE MIDDLKUUKGII POST. T. H. IIARTEK, Ennon ako Puo'it. MWht.hT.ruuh, .!.. ii. i, ivm. Memphis, Tcnn., i. perhaps, the best guarded city In the way o' quarantine regulations on tliu continent. California's grain nn,l fruit products nro worth in. ro to tin: St.ito than its mine. Ti e fresh fruit thin year in th'j Male alone is worth over $ lit:,0 H). The Chicng C. m if t' I! .' ' give tliu pieturotpio info 'nit: io:i tint large quantities of Inflow r :i -i 1 1 1" lira shipped from this enmity to Siirh America fr to, let iiiHti'.-ul of ilium tirtinic purposes. Th nativis uo them to nmioint the'r I o.ii"!i. Another ul'-titil'." for nt batrglng hs Loi n I i i ':. t forward b fa-'tory, s.v.-s tl, 1 '( in. ', i It is a h avv cort.m :i l.miiMUM.t loth tcr ,'c.J "on ihct .:,' nud Ha .. citl I e- ia;t pr op. v cut ;! it :i. wed as ii' i i -it y in y pr o moi hi r of invent i i'i. ii; ril to Tre'.ts es to bo tho 'Che la ! a-! ,iin 1 1 1 ii'ivemi thi' part ,i is 1 III! Use i( !'!;. .!.'. !n i' ,i ,( of ice III" I ill il'.i:'e i in p.ei, Ml'.l ti ' .' , . -f, ves t'.i del .ill of t iii it is ;. ".'inliv f ifec- t:r. illa tive in III 1 lii'ilii iio :ir':mo:ii'i with chil Tl.c yo.m. er the h Id tin m jr.; lr lONihc i; is to t!n.' tre it n ml. The I'nitcl State p ,i ! nu n t i n:';i ii . ', in, nl al s! it :D'is for t an 1 its iii.viipu'a'. ii A rri n't ir.il Pc ; :'r. e !v v c peri :u ly of Mirg'h-sm t;,:ri! i.i . a. -.-a, oil" ill ' e .v . c:-ey an I one in l.nni- a ia. II. o .rip: up' i..t nil for thin Work l!ii; i'ir i one lini'l.i'l tiei'i .nl ii,!tr I i ejer tin. I i'. li . ever h a i cfo.c. At M.ir-eiHr-., 1'rilK i a in ill ii tan,- e ii .)i .' . c! i in ii. .-'.ell f, nl , a few il r. s , m w i f w o , 1 1 1 i entered a tai I a I 1 1 lie in-t arrive. 1 Wiii'i i i i w i fi . in A ' eri,i, . i I'al lird. en ro ;( K etc I a line pail it nut l.ii.ed li.in I 'nrU. 'I'l.e p mr pe illlell. Ji'id W I VV I, ell (he ostlii II ell lilO f-j'iit. jei,"V M'l, .1 : '! I to i ke l and Tl H'o I'lem h n'dii rs of ! inient well' i ;ii;ilei,i:ii d I cer for minor otTeii-i's linrin inaiiieiivrci to run f ir tli c the y 11. : tho lilt!) ii o. '.i leeirnt hiui'i ar- ryine; 1 1 1 ir ritlos and I'.i.ly e,iiippe 1. One mimed N iillad foil down cliauited at the cud of two hours, l'ho o lii'er in sisted upon his liein undo to got up iind go on, silling tint h ' must "keep on till lie dropped di.-a I .hot himself dead. Yallail ro.-u uu.l Mr. .lolin 1 Tow nsr-nd, in nil address on the avin::s I, .inks in tin I nitol Mutes, stated that the nera;ro epetiso f,f Kii.ings bank mairacineut in thiitien States is lo-s than one-third of one pi r .cut., tli nvera;;o intmcNt paid is nearly .'our per cent ; in the hi-; New l'.iigland Stales tho average is gicator tlian four percent., in V ermont it wu four ni.d a half per cent., uiel in lihmlo Iil.uid I i-10 per cent, was paid in 1 ,s7. (no Mr. IhlTeity. of !li hnion 1, Vu., lias a habit, a-serts the New York I'm-in- '.' .1 i ;, of leitui in j; for ias time, an whenever hu d " s it is -mo to rain. So well mi ler-tood Inn til s he eoine th it after I'rin o ilenrg ' county leid ha 1 two months of dro ight lin was sent Inr in n last leinrt. llo wont, spi ke, .tml the rain descended '.or tho spaeo of ti.rht day-, and the l i t e-tate of those farmers w:i wn r-e than ihe tirt. Tho rndertakcr' Asso i it ion during iti e-sinn at Tor nito. ( )i.t irio.C mad i.h id a jolly dinner. Collin shaped plates, knives, fork mid napkin rings with colliu hand les iittaelie'l, jell o s in the shaou of urns, newly ma le grave, etc., nd I 'd to tin: delights of tin; oe "i-ioil, d -elan's tho !cv York H' ;,', an I thinly that not f 'mi o the hiit'irie I'gyptian lu.npiets, at .villi li skeletons were lea'.e 1, hits nny thing ipiito so luguhrio.i dv merry us lUU 'foruiito d nu r t.ikcri place. Tho New York Sm says tint nt Man .he'i r, l'uglaiid, the coroner h is undo the startling siu'enietit that eve.-y year ho holds lll'ple-ts on at leii-t 1m babies, whoso deaths wero cau-ed by inrouts overlaying them in bed. i.o year ho hill ! .'i -ueli ca-e. In many cus the deaths n o really accidental, but thcro is giavo rcil-oim to heiievo a i onsitleriiblo )iroportion cf cases were deliliciato m ir dor, committed for the sake of obt:i;niii!: money fur which the poor littlo lives were insured 'Ihe competition of so cubed industrial in-uraneo companies, who cnlleet premiums weekly in pennies, is ho keen iu that country that when .'laims mo m ido tin direclo s, even il Mispicious.do not ask iiicoiivcnient ijues. lions, a, they dread tho results to their liuMnos nf obtain ng tho nrnuiatioa for i n. h in (uisitieue-s. Neii.ly nil the cases or cur on r-at ui day nights, wheu tho pinnts arc more or hs st'.rpelied by ilr u. Manches:cr's deputy coroner i. takes nut u statement which di uuinds legislative ciiiisideiuti in. ilo points out th.it in lerinany pueuts uro arrested and cuiivieted iinder.siich circumstances, uud nays that tmeh il Inr is greatly needed in I'nglund. UNFOnOOTTEN, Hard I tho truth to comprehend When lifn in throbbing in our veins Warm life, whosi pleasure and whoM pains Hcom equally without an end That soon, perhaps, and certainly We who nrequick the dead shall be. And that mro liitter truth, nla. How hnnl it is 1 1 realize, That when we pass from living eys, Km! and dosirsfor u shall paw; Our placets, filled, our mcmoi-los aeoin Only the echoes of a dream! IVtt-r the wi- say while we tread Life's busy ways, to find dual It's wrong jjricrous wh'-n tho crass Is lon I Above a onco beloved h"nd: j Too short is lime for vain ronrot, j And they nro happiest that forget. i Nut oli, my lost one, doubly daar Mneo ilontii has claimed you, in my heart There is a handier set apart I I'or von. on'y. Havo no fear. Life hrino your previous memory, And ilrntli will give you back to mo. M iry llrwit-ij, in Conniitnioit. THE MAD STONE. 1IY W ll.l.TAM H. tr,N;t t . "Iii d how y on go pokin' r nnd 'mong tlier rocs an, bu-die-i, or you'll come to ver death, "' was Ihe im jin s-ii ir warning of an old "('ni' ker" woman from whom l'airl M vi tt had obtained shellcr tho previous iiiu;ht. mid us ho was about to ro-iiiue hi, yoiirney. An employe of the Smithsonian, c pciiciicd nnd fc.srlc-s, though still y uing, ho was exploring the mountain le-ii ns of Noith ( 'uro tin m search of iioyclt.es in geology, fauna and (lorn, and smilingly iiiievtioiicd in retuni: "la what shape, my kind friend.''' "Waal, tl-.cr inoiintiiiiis, 'si'i-ecrly ther out-of th r-wav spot, am c-teiliv'ewitli lattle-liakcH unit jiilots, and ther bite am rilwiiys ino.e deadly at this time o' ther year than niiy other.'' "Ye, 1 know that i.s the popular belief w ith leg i d lo August, t Lough vi ly much to be ijtie!io:,ei. Hind.' U'r.e'i iho kin they nro shedding is owr their eyes, imt otlierwiM-, I limey. I ut have no feais atioi.t me. 1 am aecustomed to them, and shall not lie delnieil trom add ng a !ew rattles to my coLortintl if ( ham e oilers for hugo ones." "I har lie pit nty on 'cm moristr'us ;e-t iiioii-tr'ii'-.'' was answered with a shu'U.T. fin a oug l fe in ihe locality had Hot in the least 1 1 in i ii i -1 if 1 lu r fear. I! ild.ng his kind friend farewell, I'aul Vyintt tuiil; tl little path that led Mill deeper int i the mountains. Ihit ho did imt i.i :,'h i t the wnrni'ig, and cut a stout a li -ta !, tlmu-li J.aviiiu nun h -.'teatcr fai'h in ,!s we ght and loui:hne-s than nny powi j' of iis e. ul.ar hypnotism as applied to any spei i. of the t ratalus ho; inlus. lias ly kibed were the few ho rl'.anccd upon, tor tlie stom s of numbers found arc linn h !ai-.'er than the tea'ity, nnd he sauntered n,ieh;ssly along, knocking oil" a fineim iit of nu k, picking a flower, watch. ng the birds or listening V their son;,' until the westerning of the Miu c.nve warning of the nearness of night. ".Not a ery entil ing spot to iamp," ho mused, as he looked over tho rocky durti.uii'liiigs, tho multiplicity of dark, wale scams and cavernous openings, luo-t uiiijuestiona' ly tho homes of scaly fuem.es of niiiikiiid, "Ah, :i town within easy travel. That is favorable nud timely, and I was not mistaken there are luiittcriiH'S of thunder ill the drstain e and the w ind and clouds iudi t ate a stonii.'' t'.'iicluily noting the direction, ho gathered up his bundle of traveling con vciiietiees ami started. Soon ho reached n bold bl;. If, and was compel!, d to tiavel along its brink until ho could d m over t-onie path that permitted descent, lint Mlddi Illy and fearfully his footsteps were urn ste I, lirst by the sight of ari easel, a girl sketching, with her long brown hair, cf the peculiar shade thai leu lily melts into gold, floating uncovered, and then by thcfeaiful vision of an innuendo rattlesnake that had crawled from an opening undiscovered to near her feet, nnd v. as coiled for it deadly stroke; lie shouted in warning, but his voice was lo t in ihe reverberating echoes; ho detached arid threw a fiann nt of rock, but it fell short of itsdestrned mark and dropped into a luwning chiMii: he ran with all his swiftness, Put tho di-tance was mudi too great for him to cover in t in to s;i . c the mi: onscioiis gill trom lh'' poisonous I ingi. I'or one stroke of his stout st td he w uld hae given all of his iiuthly possessions; now it was as u-c!e-s to him as tin tree from which it had been severed. Ho saw t'no si dc strike, its r iTorts to get loose when the curvid teeth bciiiino eMail. riol in the dicss, tho white hand fall, as to brush mvay some unknown intruder, taw it bittenthat and tin arm again and again and then, as tho girl icali.od tho horror of her situation, ho. ud tho most ageni. ng scream'. A little later (thoimh it seemed to the . young ii at u i a' is t as tho lapsing of houisi ; he rem le d the spot of tho terrible com : bat, disabled the loathsome and furious repi ilo with n siuule blow, tung it far away, and raised tho fainting girl in hia anus. Whiter than a lily and us holp-le-s as a crushed one, she lay there, with her lips ticmbling with nobs, bosom heaving convulsively und eyes llod upon him with tho most pleading appeal : tor help. I "Myciodi' ho groaned as ho inter preted her wishes, "1 am utterly with out tho moans to aid you. Kven tho customary antidotes 1 iccklesily flung away as a useless burden. Now I would give my life for them, lint have cour- , ago! YVe can surely reach tho village in ! timotosavo your life, though mt you from suffering. Is it very far?" i "No," was answered with contracted 1 throat ami husky voice " no, but death is much nearer, and I shu.l never see ! father or mother again." I "I ray it may not be as you fear, and wo must hurry along as nipidly as pps sible. You know tho shortest way (" j "Yes," with painful utternuco. , "Wait yet a moment," ho said aloud Hid then, mentally "the cham o is des perate nnd dangerous. My lifo may bo tho forfeit, b it I lauuot .sen one soyoung and fair die tho most fearful of dentin without risking it to savo at least re lievo her." Trained in the school ho had been, ' familiar w ith toxicology, especially tho venom of serpents, nono kucvv better than ho tho duuyerous tiibk Uo was ubout to undcrtako. A dingle nnraMon of mouth or tongue, a carious tooth through which p'-lon could be absorbed, would be as fatal nnd a more sudden death than bul let or knife. Yet thcro wai nothing of hesitation after the first shuddering thought. Wiping away the bloody ooze from tho almost invisible punctured wounds lie applied h e litis to thorn one alter another and sucked out the poison. freeing his mouth from timo to time, and not desisting unt 1 nsur d the work was thoroughly done that he could do no more. Then, nnd without giving heed to the faintly whispered th mk. he nut his aim nround tho g.rl and hurried her forward. Hut not long coif (I she direct tho way to travel, not long could her limbs sus tain her. Another terror came to brenk down the little remaining ncrvo and stiengt'n, and she faltered, rcoled and fell. Mio had gone through as much of mental and physical su'ering as tiatnro would endure had gone as fur as she could. With the rain descending as if the windows of heaven had been flung wido nl of indescribable agony, burst from open nnd a tcciuul flood caino to ca-lh. t nsl? '' purple lips of tho girl, with the thunder rolling nnd crashing 'It adheres issm king out tho poison ! above thoir heads and Blinking the solid rVatclt ,,ow il cl"nge color,'' said tho rocks beiieatli their feet, with tho light- "ranger, with wonderful self control, ning Hashing nnd blinding, alio lay ' There was no denying tho fact. Tho fcarceiy able lo move hand or foot for J tlull blackish gray rapidly Rave placa to sell prcsoi vation. Put uo fear of rattle- , green that deepened and brightened until snakes then, l'.cforc the terribV miiostv ' ,on' loosened its hold and fell into of tho elemental war even they had lied ' 1,18 awaiting hand. It was placed in teriilied to the lowct depths of their i wa"" water to di-gorgc nnd again uti noisome dens nnd cowered in m. h fear p'ird, its power evidently less thon nt ns instinct gives instinct that in ninny cases is twin brother of leason. Though despirriiig of saving tho fleet ing life, yet driven nearly fiantic by be ing alntio with the Lt'irl in tho now demo darkness and now blinding ghuo, Myratt lilted her again in his strong anus and unshed forward. Ctiidfd by tin I gh'.s of the village he proceeded, whispering hope ho did not feel, receiving moaning whispers for a timo and then no recog nition. The girl was beyond speech! llo saw by the ii.iiniii of lightning Hint tho bit ten hand and arm hid swollen to nn im mense si.e, that upon tho delicate flesh were if produced the spot of the serpent, felt that tl S beating of the heart was growing fainter and fainter, tint tho h it breath was becoming less and les-, knew that in a lilt la time ho would bo car' ' ing a corpse, bcautirul but nn hour be fo'c, thou loa hsome, discolored and hideous beyond ihe con a ption of tho'O w ho have nevtr seen such u tlo.itli. retraining every nerve, p. Hiring from speed and worn with his burden. Myratt sli I kept, on, reached tho path that led ivvn to the vilLc'e nu 1 was about to . . was desconil w In n Lo Was met by a party mix iousIv si aicl ing lor flic lo-t, girl. "Ilil'en bv a ratliesiiake? llyinrf or lead; Stained and soittcd with tin hoirib'c leprosy of the scr. ent poison .' ih, mv iod ! it is terrible groaned the poor lat.ier as tho inscusiolo form was placed w ithiu his arms and tho fearful tali: told. Hut tho gr'eT was as no'hing to tho wild, agoni. ed sobbing and hhrieking of the loving unit her when she saw her dar ling brought in and laid upon u bed as hideous and repulsive as she had list seen her bright uud beautiful. I hysiciiins came, but tlieir cxpcricnco nud wisdom availed little. The poinni had spread rapid'y, been strongly incor porated with tho circulation, the action of tho heart paralyzed until it had almost ceased to beat. Ammonia, iodine, every thing to lie thought of as antidote, livdratio and palliative medicine wero tried without giving relief. The hideous spots grew laiger unil more distinct; s'liuous, twisting creeping motions took Hi" place of nut .rat ones und hand nud limb became more swollen. Tho suffer ing of the stricken uirl became so terri ble ns t,i Cause ttcvet-al f, 1 m eiirried fainting fn m the room, others to turn ghastly pale, grow sick nnd eagerly rush into i he outer air. "t un nothing be done? Oh, my poor, dca" child!" sobbed tho heart-broken mother, still clinging to tin writhing form, si ill clinging to thd hope long given up by all nth -is. ".Nothing," came answered back from the liriuly compressed 1 ps of the phvsi-ciari-in-chicf. "H e have exhausted all our know ledge, all out skill, but.'' lie motioned to his associates, drew them aside and u whispered consultation was held. "Chloroform" was the only word that rca bed the strained ears of I mil Myratt, bit it wis enough. Ilo knew but too well what, it poi tended; that they were discussing the propriety of easing her terrible siiilerings and free ing her puru soil from tho rotting clay by a long, deep anisthetic slumber, by one that would never bo broken in this woild. It wns so do ided, and wh'.lo one of tlieir number wns absent procuring tho powerful cheni cal romhimition they aga n gather d a'ouud their patient uud watched the spasms of pain, tho horrible writhings and contortions, wdn profes sional iutcrct, though not with tearless eyes. Other than human would they have been could tin y havo done so. In the midst of tho stillness that was worse thu i that of death, a silence lo which sound would come as the failing of clods upon tint c-o tin lid, a stranger entered. So wild witli excitement wu the town tint no one could escape hear ingof the accident. In the great sorrow his pie-cnco was unnoticed. For ft ! ... single instant ho remained, then wont out into the now clear and. Iran piil night und mouutiiig ahorse rode ii.vuy ut a dangerous speed. His ubsenco wus brief but even us ho again entered the physi cians wero holding the sometimes cusing, tho now-desiiued tobofatnl anesthetic for the stricken girl to breathe. Hastening to' the sido of tho bed tin stronger almost rudely pushed the men of medicine aside and exclaimed iu a voice commanding, though intensely permeated with emotion : "Ceiise? Why would you commit even professional murder when tho poor child may bo saved,' Stand buck uud give mo room." They looked upon h;m as a madman and would have laid violent hands upon aud thrust him out, but tho di-trnctod mother flung herself upon her knees and ut his feet, uud, as ouo clinging to a straw when sinking for the last timo, begged him to save tho life of her child. "I will, (iod helping mo," he answered firmly und positively. "Human means, seconded by tho prayer of faith, cuu no ci iiiplis.li great results." llo took a littlo puckago from his puckct. When tho w rappings had been icniovcd there was exposed to view a ; bmat daik -grayish something, scarcely more than an inch long and 1cm la width and thickness. 'The madstone I The tnadstono t" burst from many lips. ' .Now may hoaven be thanked." "Do silent," sternly commanded the stranger, "and control yourselves, what ever comes." "And my c hild, my dsrlinff child, will lire 1" exclaimed the almost exhausted ! mother. "."he is in tho hands of the Great Physician," was answered, reverently. "By mysterious ways now. as in the olden time, He can heal and raise tho dead, if such bo His holy will." Tho f olio war i of .tisculnplus looked on with scorcful ryes and curling lips, and tho young naturalist with absorbing interest, as tho stone was Applied to the bito of the serpent. Neither had ever seen one of the almost fabulous articles beforo, and doubted its reputed power. For a moment it wns held I gh'.ly on the swollen and discolored fledi, then it clung firmly and pressed deeply of its own volition, and screams, prolonged lirst, its green less pronounced, until it absolutely refused to attach itclf to tho skin had install its adhesive power. From the lint touch the screams of the girl had dimiiiidied, grown fainter mid fainter, then entirely cease I, nnd when tho mndstone in its silent way told that its mission had been neeomi,i-hed sin had sunk into a sound uud healthy slumber. "r-ho w ill awake cu ed, will live," said tho stranger, "i.onvo her now to tho rest she needs, nnd morning nnd even ing praise Him whose mysteries uro past finding out, the (iod of mercy, pity uud love." "And you.'" was questioned, amid the tenrful blessings of lather and mother. "A humble servant of tho ( hrisl cm crilled, tho I.'cileeiuer and Saviour, lie guided my wandering footsteps hither; ilo caused mo to havo knowledge i.f the whereabouts of this wonderful stone. I a m but u simple iustrtiineul in his mighty hand." A year later n vo'inrr. blushing, and happv bndu stood al tho allar of n ! "'innru ciiun n. i no same lips unit .. i i i .i . .. . "" P"ioiiiicuu nor cureu iriuii n.o virus , I 1,1 ln" "caniy mountain rni iiu-shhkc, pronounced her nnd I'mil Myratt man nun wile, .-sue wouiii nave no oilier. ,i won they entered the homo pieparcd for them and became hidden to the eyes of tho public, she whispered to him upon w hose iirm she would lean lovingly for life: "I'mil, deaiest, nil honor to the nnd etone, nil glory to tho high power tint gave its wonderful charm, nil thanks to the man that used it, who has given you to mo : but in my heart 1 know it was to your lips I owe my lile most nf nil. It was you who sucked tho poison from my veins, and" "Your lips, darling, slmll evor repay me with their sweetness m they do now." M mini. A Conirressmau's (Mil Invcsllxnllon. 1 There was a man by Ihe name of Stan ton, and ho wns a Congressman from a i Kentucky district some timo in tho year ls."7. Ikforo his elect on to Congress , ho had been a bricklayer und a stono mason. During his term some of thu contractors engaged on the Cnpitol ex - tensions and improvement got into nn imbroglio, nud lirst one und then an other began throwing mud, until finally ouo of them, in his anger, made, the chargo that tho work done by another was of the poo c-t kind, and that tin Capitol building was in danger. It was the fiist time Hull any such intimation had ever been male concerning the safety of the Capitol, nud it c iilscd considerable alarm, says the Chicago 'Vim . It led to the appointment of an in vestigating coniiiiiitce by Cougicss. Mr. Stanton was undo Chairman of the com mittee. It is cu-tomary when u Con gressional invest igating commit too is ap pointed for it to take up ipiarters in somu elaborately fuinihcl committee room, send lor witnesses, ami thou report in tind.ngs. Stanton didn't do any thing of the sort. lie put mi a bricklayer's suit and clothed his committee in the name garli. went out about the Capitol ami inside nl it armed with tho implements which stonemasons und brickmasons Uso. They examined the work that had been done, and found that I hero was nut one word nf truth in what tho quarrelling con tnii t .-s hud charge I. The committee so reported aril was discharged, I hat was, so I nm told, tho only time that any charge of fraud in the construc tion of tho Nutionul Capitol was evel nude. Popularity of the Spanish Onion. A few years since .lO'M) crates of Spanish onions Were shinned from Spain to I. Wcgman, f New York, says the 's'" b win tound it almost iinpo,siolo to .1 t .1 L il. 'I'l... . 1 ; iiisiiosu ui iiiL-iii ni a pruui. i nu uinei afternoon the sumo gentleman received 10,1)00 crates of those delicutely flavored onions "that shine in nil their fatness liko Spanish friars," uud about tho same number of packages uro on thair way from .-pain to this pott. Each cmto contains about fifty pounds and the job bing price varies from M to 7" cents per crate. Home physicians claim that i a riiw linish 'i' ''" ,! ,'ury ',,r ing for a month will chock if not per manently cure almost any kidney trouble. They uro said to be very etlicncious in cases of worms in children, and uo epi cure can deny tint they aro most appe tizing in u salud. It is a pity they cun not bo raised in this country. American hot-house gardeners have tried to culti vate them, but they degenerate into n most insignilleiint variety of onion. Yet tho vory seeds of tho degenerated onion planted in its native country will pro duce an onion o.pinl to the original. "If you start on u journey," says nn old book nf wisdom, "and meet a cat, you should at oueo turn back," The book does not say for what purpose you should turn back, but wo suppose it iu to get your gun." liiuiinjtun Fru BUDGET OF FUN. HtlZJonOtm RKKTCItFg FltOM VAUIOUsJ SOUUCES. Bhonlit Hear ft. In Mind Nothing But the) Truth A Itrtter Name Changed III Mind, i:to., Etc. Husband -"You are not the cook my mother used to bo, my dear." Wife "iVo, John, fortunately. You mustn't forget that your father died of dyspepsia." Sifting. Nothing nut the Trntti. Judgo "I'risonor.this is the thirtieth time this year that you havo appeared before this tribunal. AY hat brought you aero again?" Prisoner ."To tell tho truth, Judge, it was the police." A Ilot tcr Name. Trctty Cousin (to voting Sissy) "W hy, Charley, since I Inst sawyou you havo grown quite a beard." Young ?issy "Ya'as, Maud; mutton chop wh skcrs, you know." 1 relty Cousin "h, lire they? Why Ihey look tnoro like lamb-chop whis kers." Si io YorkH'in. Tli Proirrcm of Science. fenkins "Did you hear of tho won dcr.'ul operation Dr. Ihill performed on Siidthers last week tf" llilkins "No! what was ft?" Jenkins "rive years ago Smithers stepped on a tack, nnd yesterday the doctor removed a ten-penny nnil from the arm of fNiii tliers' littlo boy." The Idea. Clitinsul His Mind. Wife ".'hnll wo go to tho picnic to day, deari" Husband "Just ns you say, love." Wifo Well, if wo go we must take tho baby.'1 Husband "Oh, by the way, there's all that cor al wood to cut nnd split. I guess I'll stay ut homo." JJurlinjlon tree I'i'ch. In tlif Snino Predicament. Kirby "Lend me a liver, will you, old boy? I'm clean broke." .Moxey "Tint's a pretty good ring you wear. Why don't you 'hock it?-' Ixirby "Couldn't, you know. It's a Souvenir of u deceased brother." Moxey "Well, my money is a souvr- c. .-. ...in.... imj u.j, um r..i " 7 a.., I 'nil lalDMIKh. It was his lost visit to the city. As he stood on the cuib-tone shaking his sides w ith laughter, ho was accosted by one of New Haven's lines t. "What's tho fun, ' stranger;" "fun.' Can't you seo it? Ju-t look how that thing (pointing to a watering cart i leaks. Whv, Iho Id lined fool won't have a drop left wheu ho get home." .V if Jina n S . Iicitritliiif Cngllsli. A Frenchman of this city, having re ceived tho photograph of n lndy, asked u friend what wus customary under tho circumstances. "( oinp inn nt it," replied tho friend. "Tell her its beauty is very rare." "I beg to make zee nckiiovv leilgmong, madnuie," ho said to her at their next meeting. "eo beauty of madamo is very scarce." ISiii'i mint n JuuUL-an. Two r.i'iitea. Magistrate "What's tho against this man.'" charge ntlicer "llo ihrew a photograph lens lit a babv and cut its head." Magistrate "Aro you a regular pho tographer.'" i'risono'- "Yes, your honor. I had been trying for two mortal hours to take a picture ot that little imp I mean lit tle baby, your honor and " Magistiato "nu nro discharged. I used to bo n photogruphcr myself." TUc Certain. The Lost 1 'mi nil. "Well, Ms-," interrogated tho irate father of a Ch dig girl and a now tho i- l sand dollar pm.o; "can you tell mo j what this is. sin -U onto this rosewood like a luin of grafting wax ! Havo you decided toiinfryu firmer, and is ho giv ing you lessons in tree-pluutiiig:" I "Oh, no," i.ns Acred the maiden, with I a glad i nn g iu her spruce like voice; i "that's my dear old gum. WU'ii Har ry 1 wanted il song, 1 p .t it where it would ' bo safe, and tnen forgot it und thought I'd lost it." Ihe liitit. A Killing: Passion With Illm. Tho inquisitive traveler had sat along side his one-legged victim till everybody had turned in, und still plied him with ijiiestions till he wished lie had died ut the II iiptlt'llioil. "How aid you lose your leg:" ho asked, us a clincher. "Well, I'll ted you if you promise to usk uny more iiuesiions." "All right; I won't." "It was b,t otr." "liood night ; utn going to bod; I'd liko mighty will to know what it o.f." t'ii-'iio Timei. Tho I.xpldlvo Hint Cuuzht Her. Wifo (piously) "Henry, I wish you wouldn't swear so." Henry (shocked) "I dou't swear, my dear." Wifo "Yes, you do; or just the sumo thing. iou musn t say 'by tieorge,' or 'bv Jove, or 'by ed or by miy thing." Husband, (submissively) "Not even buy u new bonnet, love:" Then she was very, very sorry for her thoughtless reform movement, and com- j ing close to him, threw her arms ubout i liis neck uud asked him to forgive her. j Wun'tihtjtun Critic. ; Tlio ttourt Hove r-ioil Ita Ueclslon. he ji you time; vou might as well try to make court believe that two und two do iniiko four." "Mr. Brief," suid the judge, grimly, tiut. von n o uoiui in Brief sullied his cveglnsses a little lolor una wusto ot nine. more firmly on his noso and responded dexterous operator uses the jaw blindly: "May it p euo your Honor I -". " i, nm pieparcd to dj that. Two and two once, und lightly, after whn n make :.." 1 tho customer a porcelain bovvi Tho Window of nsinilo played around with a small soft iinpkiu tocw the coi ner of the udgo's mouth us ho f'"--e. Wo have soui ) barber cat back la his chair, uud miid; "Vou , York as expert as nuy iu la".- may go on with your argument, Brief." liotlon liulle in. j ' A rtad llnbtr. "Now, hubby, before we were n1 ried we promised to tell each othn our little faults and try to correct t, do foil remember, denrt" "L m-htih," grunted the husband, -J was ncrii in reauinx mo last Bcanaai . , l . . . . . , , - wen, wove neon niarricn a ,, ana i noiico a imu nauu you uavt- you henr?" "Im-huh." "Yes, a bad habit you hare of piying attention when one is talking. w j vi mviisaig aw I "I m-hun." "Of not paying'rttention, and fl,, wncn one gets through and asks something you say Do what?' Th not only Aggravating, but impolite. I want you to break yourself of the d grecabio habit." "Dowhati" SI. Louie llunwritt Would Throw That In. "My friend," said a tight-fisted bunt, to a young man who had pulled him, of the water, "I appreciate the fact tl, you nave lavra my liio, ana I am pared to reward you to reward in it . . ... noeiitiij ior your services. v uut Ct uo tor your "Well, sir, there wns a suit of elo' spoiled." said the rescuer who wa n iiniiireii inougn not ciiucatcil, would lio about seventeen dollars: tl lost my hat, that would be filtveci then I took considerable liquor to k nit a colit, which cost mo n quarter, don't think nf nnvthing else, sir.'' "But you do not mention tho fact t' you nave saved my life. Y hat cm lor you on that uroref" 'Oh, well, call tho whole tl eighteen dollars air I d throw suvitig in free." -M refund Tnv Ur, Tho Visitor Wns Mlitnkon, I'roprietor (showing visitor tlin tho nlhcci "This is tho cditirial pnrtment." Visitor "Then I supposo that genial looking chap across there ii obituary editor, and that the thin, cr looking genius who just throw u n weight at the oflice boy, is your (. man.'" Proprietor "No; both gurc wrong. You probably obtuuel i ideas from current patagrafths. 'II.' good-natured man is tho immorUt, the attenuated gentleman is then, of tho tarilf editorials." isiior "Ah. indeed! Hut this ;. man with tl c handsome desk. n... from the rest of the ollico, uttcii'L J pretty typo-writer and two lies, boys? 1 suppose he is editor-in-' lii : I'roprietor "Wrong ugnin! 'li.. tho bu-eb.ill reporter 1" Tlf l-Ui. Artificial Floiieis. Arti'ic'tal I'owers, snys a writer;: f!-tr'i.it!'iiilie, were lirst invented i'v; nuns. In tho ltilian convents tin- und shriiv s of saints were, up to t!.i of tho eighteenth century, ilw, with artificial flowers, laboriously p get her, of paper, parchment, ami stilt materials. Since then tho "!: flowers," which nro undo in V factories of tho imperfect cncim: silkworms, havo become famous fur daintiness, which makes thorn part c ly suitable for toilet decorations. ; these silk flowers other nrtilicial tl uro Hindu in Venice, whence mar Ituiy is supplied, uud wdio ice wagon loads are exported to other triirs. -No sooner has tho visitor U ' taken hi early cup of cin e! 1'lorian's, near tho Marcus pint;, tho cicerone uppears, offering to him iho "famoud" factory of tli moils Italian flowers." This fa,; situated in one of the gray old lna- tho l-'re.nria, and several hund nro occiiiiod in it. In the wur: tho most wonderful rcprodu tio: natural tlowois uro exhibited in cases, and it seems in many ra- not only tho richest and most I: colors, but tho very scent of the tl had been stolen from nature, furs the artificial flowers aro steeped ; i perfume distilled from tho flovvi-r-jit represents. Any one wishing t homo sumo souvenir of Venice i n his choico of beautiful uud of Uti .' tic objects at tho factory. 1 In the upper stories nf the l.o"; girls sit at tlieir work, const ruetii : clever hands, the most beautiful w ' art. for ull the most expensive .it: ; flowers are nearly o .elu-ivc'y in ' hand, nnd their valuo depends su. tho manual dexterity and ta-te i jioorly-idad und mostly dtl'u ati' l gills, sitting at long tables und i''; thu unhealthy dust of tho dyed rials. No inaeliineiy could r ' dexterity nnd tasto. I.nst century r I invented a machine for cutting , leavs aud petals, 'out it can only I' i for tho smallest kinds, such as ore 1 cd for hyacinths, lilies of tli'1 v 1 and other small flowers. In lare" tho irregularities of manual wor prefcrred to tho still und correct produced bv machinery. in1' u not of which tho petals are made ii : in special factories; tho scis- I oilier tools used by the girls, in I tho presses iu which tho veins lire but on tho leaves, uro of a shape p bit adapted to the work, llaeh pit flower is made by specialist. ! room, for iustnnce, only stalksof i nud loaves are made; in uimtlier' und beiries of ull kiuds uro nist, uro of wax, or blown, if of gU cleverest workers uro employ-1'. 1C blo-soms of tho singlo petals, ttn- quets, wreaths and garlands of t- gle blossoms. It Is very alien watch this process and to see U" tho ceutro of n llowcr is coin" then the petals put round, next 'U leaves, and so forth, till a l'u' braucli is complete. A Uarbor-om Conlrast. Thcro nro barbers in this la1 the New York Sun, who ougl't lessons iu l'aris. They lather and through tho lirst com so, niidir11; ' nnd scrnpo through tho ."'; which the ruin-soaked towel n 1 tho ' into play, and then come f' B not i -Tush with pomatum, to be M ' ! et other fiindaugoes, nil of ";