The Middleburgh post. (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, May 08, 1884, Image 1

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T. II. HARTKR.
Ho that 11 not rcfwon is n, bigot; ho that cannot s a fool ; he that dare not i a ulavc.
KDITOK and IMIOPKIliTOU
VOL. XXL
MIDDLEBD Kill, SNYDER CO, PENN'A. MAY 8, ISSt,
NO. XXV I,
I I.
J.i ... 1 . ft I -I I I J
1 L
i
.rOKTRY:
TEE ALTIC WATCH-
Heboid upon tht frozen foam,
A little vphhi'1 far from liotne,
The yacht Jennet te.
The polar tar above her lien,
A sward of light et In th tikion.
The Artie wav Ik on her (leek,
Ami ho htm loft the broken wreck
Itereft of all things elue but Fate,
And nliikltiR, Klnklntf, niuklnir yet
lleholil ber lyinir desolate,
The lout Jeaniu-ttv!
Dead heron on'a field of snow,
One lonely heart that beating slow,
Yet dream of home,
Where golden fruit are on the bouh
And all the woods are crltinnii now
The laHt of that l)lli hearted band
Keeps vigil in that bitter land;
And crowned with thorn of Croft and
pain,
Urea over hi boyhood days njraln;
And in his drear death -watch uplifts
Ilia iru.e, and sees beyond the drift,
The Iceberg tall, n crystal Rate,
lty which hi rlwn comrades wait,
Is'ot weiik and worn like men who
died,
Put robed, and crowned, and glorified,
Familiar voices fr?ct hi car:
The lip that love him call him dear;
Froftt-flower and thorn that bound bis
head
Melt off, and it Is wreathed Instead
With lilies of the pure in heart.
Ills icy garment flt apart:
The pain, and toil, and danger past,
The long death-watch is done at la.st
He utand a form of living light,
He join hi comrade in her (light.
They pass tho sward set In the skie,
Js'o waste white desert now to roam,
They upward, upward, upward rise,
And win the gates of l'uriulise
Oh, welcome home !
Minnie Inviiuj, iii the Mmiliuttm.
2SSS- SLACK AND HES PEPPES
IlY MAHY KTI.K I ALUS.
Mrs. Slack was next neighbor to
the Peppers when they bought n
cottage at Sen Sonso, and on the
verj first night she tumbled over the
scattered bits of fuuitnre in the pan
tnge, and sppenred io their tnidsl
unexpectedly to borrow a little suit.
Bho said it was so nice to Lave neigh
bors again aud that Mrs. Pepper
looked so sweet ebo kuew she
wouldn't Diiod.
At tnidoigltt sbo ronsed them
from their slumbers to inquire if
Ihey had any cholera mixture, for
1 it tit Peter bad been euting too ma
ny greeu apples and she thought be
would die, She Baid she was thank
fal Mrs Pepper bad moved in, and
that but for that circniDRtaoco he
tuight havo loht her darling. Mrs
Pepper was thankful, too, and the
two women eiubracod with tears.and
PI ib. Slack olrto borrowed soojo mua
tard for a plaster.
Tho next day she sent Petor.fully
recovered and with his pockets full
of green fruit, to atk for (he axe, tho
handle having come off of theiis.aod
& rolling-pin.
Fortonatoly the Peppers possessed
three axes and two rolling-pins, no
they did tot feel disturbed by the
fact that the borrowed articles were
Dot returned ; but after a short in
terval filled with loaua of coal, pota
toes, broad and cheose, Mrs Slaok
came herself to borrow the folding
table, a pair of scissors, a pattern of
a basque, and a low rocking-chair,
She as going to make some dresses
and if Mrs. Pepper would step over
and fit her she would be obliged.
Mrs, Pepper did it, and made the
button-holes, too- Mrs. Slack nev
er coald learn to make a button-hole.
The table, the scissors, the rocking
chair and the pattern remained at
Mrs. Slack's.
The next week Mrs. Slack borrow
ed a silk in an tie and a pair of rub
bers. Mrs. Pepper this time "grew bold
enough to beg that she would send
them home when she returned.
Mrs, Slack said "Of coarse" with
come offense, bat when Peter was
seuQ running aoross lots it was not
to bring back those articles. What
ho wanted was the baby's preambula
tor and a market basket.
Mrs.Pepper watobed them go'witb
dofpair ia ber eyes i but nothing
borrowed for some time after
this nothing returned, either j un-
rt.atluBt, one morning Mr. Slack
liimsolf called, lie said be should
have been there before they were
bo muoh indebted to such cood na-
tored neighbors. Ha hoped the Pep
P6" wonld ooaimand bim at any
Hue and might bis wife have the
iog machine for one day t lie
meant to boy ber one. What make
would Mrs. Pepper recommend t
He hoped sho'd give his little worn
an the bent-fit of her advice. Io
fact, nothing wonld please bim bet
thftu to havo his wife model herself
after each a lady.
Tn the end he walked off with the
sewing machine.
Mrs. Pepper did her own eticbing
by hand, and waitod for it.
So Christmas timecamo, and with
it cards for a patty. Tho Slacks so
hoped tbej'il all come.
Having accepted, what was more
natural than to take an intorotit io
the proceedings? To lend sugar
aod the ico-crenm freezer, butter aud
the egg beater, tho cnt-glas goblets
and the best tablo-cloths, tho spico
box entire, aud bts of other things.
Finally, Mrs. Slack, with her gown
tucked up, and her eyes sparkling,
rnn in to say that they (Loughta
dance wonld be nico, and conKl Mrs.
Pepper spare the piano for one eve
ning "Thoro's nobody to tnovo it,''
said Mrs. Peppor, rejoiced to have
an excuse, "I'm so sorry."
Mrs. Slack laughed, aod went to
tbow iudow. l'onr big laborers ap
peared, aod without any prelimi
nary directing shouldered the in
strument and lugged it away. They
bumped it against fences, and fairly
tumbled down in a ploughed field,
before they (inisbod their mission ;
but by main stror.gth they got it at
lat to the Slacks' door ; aud Mrs.
Slack took her loavo.carryiug the pi-aoo-slool
and cloth herself.
The appoaranco of her adored pi
ano gave Mrs. Peppor a great deal
of unhsppiucK that evening. It
had a deep scratch on tho cover, and
oue of tho keys wouldn't lift. How
ever, she played waltzes and sots for
the dinceis most of the evening, and
as the company went to supper in
relays old folks first, and young
folks last, as Mrs. Slack said found
very little left but a eup of cold cof
fee and a tnrkoy boue when her
J n ties were finished.
Aud yet she did not give Mr.
Slack a piece of hor mind, as ole
hud intended. We oil have some
particular weakness. Mrs. Pep
pet's was tho desire for praiso, for
gratitude, when she did kind things,
and Mrs. Slack had squeezed her by
both hinds, and said :
' Oh, how sweot you are 1 I know
you would bo bef ire I ever ppoke to
you, by your fuco. I never bad s
sister. And do yon know what 1
say to Mr. Slack 'She's the sintor
of my soul. She is just too lovely
for anything.'"
And so bho waited for tho return
of her piano for a week, without a
murmur.
Hut there is an end to everything.
Ono day she saw Mrs Slack driving
up the road in tho minister's new
light wagon, wealing hor mantilla,
and saw ber stop, with her usual
little giggle, at the garden gate
Mr. Tcpper had taken a holiday,
aud was lying in the hammock,
reading ; and she had ber sewing
under the old oak trees, and was
extremely happy and comfortable.
If Mrs. Slack had come to ask her
to drive, she had resolved not to go.
Sbo should soy : "Mv husband has
so fow holidays, I cannot leave home
to-day." But Mrs. Slack did no
such thing.
You dear, good soul !" she cried,
as soon as she was' within spooking
distance, "I've come to borrow your
husband I''
"To borrow what t" ejaculated
Mrs. Pepper.
' Your husband," said Mrs. Slack.
"Slack is in Doeton, I'm going to a
pionio. I want a beau and some one
to drive. May I have him T"
"You ought to ask Mr. Pepper
himself," said Mrs. Pepper, very
coldly.
"1 shan't" said Mrs. Slack, play
fully. "I came to borrow him of
you. You'll lend him, won't you t
Aod I shall tell every one, that
good angel, Mrs. Pepper, lent me
her husband."
Mrs, Slack was looking very pret
ty: The embroidered mantilla be
came ber vastly. She bad a dainty
sky-blue bonnet on ber blonde bead,
and she smiled at Mr. Pepper oat of
the corner of ber eye.
Mrs. Peppor feared that she saw
on Mr. Pepper's face a shadow of a
desire to be Mrs. Slack's escort to
the pionio. This arranged the affair.
"You insist that I shall answer,
Mrs. Slaok t" be asked.
'Yes," lisped Mrs. Slack. ,4 You'll
jicnu iiiiU won t jvu i
'No," said Mrs. Tepper, in a very
decided tone, "I'm afraid I shouldn't
get him back. I let you havo my
piano. That hasn't been returned.
My sewing-machine I do without
it now. My muntlo you wear it,
not I. My overshoes, wheto nro
they ? The baby's porambnlator
your baby now takes tho nir in it.
My Be wing, machine and cutting
board and scissors I haven't soon
thorn since j my rolling-pin aod ice
cream freezer and egg-beater. It's
the same with all ; but I promised
Io chavo unto my husband uutil
death doth us part ; aud you can't
havo him, Mrs. Slack You vy
never voubt return him."
"Oh I oh 1 oh P screamed Mrs.
Slack, turning pink. Yoit wicked
woman 1 You nasty thing I Yon
mtitii thing! You shall have all your
horrid things back. 1'on't you waut
your spoonful of salt, too T Ob, you
mean, mean wictch !"
Tuen tearing the mantlo from hot
shoulders she threw it at .Mr. Pep
per's head, as ho struggled out of
his hammock, and drovu away in tho
minister's wagon. She borrowed a
shawl from tho minister's wife, and
took her eldest boy for company ;
but beforo her retnru Mrs. Pepper
had proceeded to her neighbor's
honso, collected her goods and chut
tie, aud bad them conveyed home.
The piano was out of tuno and
scratched ; tho sewing machine had
lost ila h.uid ; onions had beeu kept
iu the ico-crcaiu freezer ; the man
tle had a grease spot iu tho slioul
dor ; ono of the rockers was loose
on tho chair ; Peter und Jimmy had
cot a "tit tat too" game with a knife
on tho lap-board ; and it was plain
that Mrs. Slack had whipped tho
children with tho rggbeator. Tho
perambulator had beeu UHod to
bring charcoal homo with, and the
points of the scissors wero gone So
was tho sisterly lovo of Mrs. Slack,
who goes about abusing Mrs Pep
per as the meanest, most jrslous
thing, she ever knew, and borrows
of tho minister's wifo, although that
long-suffering iady tbegiua to sh-'."
sigus of revolt.
rCETY YEARS AGO
Cofflus were very plain and Luriul
caskets wero unknown.
Tombstones had larger epilophs
and more verbosity engraved upon
thetu.
1'ggs wero a shilling a dozen and
butter was cousidorod high at eigh
teeu cents per pound.
Much of tho silver currency, Bps,
levies and dollars was of Mexican
and Spanish coiuago.
The country rotail trado was
much better, as people could not so
easily ruu to tho city by rail.
Ihiaines letters wero more vol
umiuous aud formul, and wero writ
ten in a precise, round hand.
There was York currency, eight
shillings to tho dollar, and Mow
England currency, six shillings to
the dollar.
Tho diot was more surcharged
with grease, the wiutcr breakfast
usually being made of salted ham
aud hot cakes.
Dinner was simply a hasty lunch
at noon, aud little imporlauce was
attachod to the necessity for good
digestion or a period of rest after
eating.
jxow oilcans and muscovado mo
lasses, very black and thin, was tho
common sweetening for buckwheat
cakes. Itofined molaesos was almost
unknown.
The bank bills were of state banks
and the further west their locality
the shakier they were. Illinois and
Indiana bills would barely pass in
New York,
Dread was borne made. Coffee
was freshly ground every morning,
and the grinding of tho family cof
fee mill was a familiar sound boors
before tho children arose.
Negro minstrelsy was just crop
ping out ia the traveling circus
There wore generally but two per
formers, who assumod male aud fe
male characters. The popular
melody was "J amp Jim Crow."
People did not live as long as
they now do, nor was the avorage
health as good as at present. They
ate more meat, more grease, more
hot bread, and more heavy dishes,
and drank more at meals.
At funerals the undertaker oried
with the mourners, the flow of tears
being proportionate to the expense
of the funeral. Yoang conplss con-
lidered it a privUegt to tit np all
night vitb the corpse befotw hafUl,
-. -' "i '
the nor axis.
The express-train was flying from
Cork to Qiteenstown; itwas going
like sixty that is, ab ntsixty miles
an hour. No sight of Irish village
to arrest our speed, nssicn of bieak
donn ; and yet the tnio liulto 1. W
looked out of tho window ( saw the
brnkeman aud ft crowJ of pif-songers
gathering around tl;o locomotive,
aud a detiso smoke mixing. What
bs tho matter I A lot urt' !
I thought then, i I think now,
tLat is what i the m it tor with peo
ple everywhere In this swift, "ex
press," American life, we go too fast
for our endnranco. 'o think our
selves getting on fiplitididly, when,
in tho midst of our sticcosesf we
come to a dead hall. What i tho
matter f Tho nerve or muscles or
bruins givo out ; wolnivo uitdo too
many revolutions h un hour. -1
ht ix!e !
Men make the niishko of oiling
according to their opportnnitii-H.aud
not according to tboir capacity of
' 4
endnranco ' Can I run thn train
fromSpringfjeld to Hoston nt tho rate
of fifty miles an hour.''' says an eu
giueer. Yes. "Then I will run it, rr
gardlosa of conspqntncos I" Cm I
be a merchant, and a president of a
bank, nnd a director in n hm-insum
anco company, and n school com mis
sioner, and help edit a paper, and
superviso tho politics of our ward,
uud run for Congress! "1 cu !"
the man nay t himself. The utoto
drives him ; tho bank drives him :
the school diives him , politics drive
him. lie takes nil the scoldings
aud frets nnd exasperations of each
position. Someday, ut the height
of tho busiiies Hoason, ho does not
come to tho store. From tho most
important mooting of tho bank dl
rectors ho is al-sent. In the excite
ment of the most important political
canvas ho fails to bo nt tho place
appointed. What it tho matter
Mi health has broken dowo ; the
train halts long before it guts to the
station. A hot axle !
Lit"-n-y men Irtvropt opportu
nities opouiiJK in tins day. u iii-j
take all that open, (Ley nio d ad men,
or wot no lii'ili'j nun whooiight to he
dead. The pen tuns ho easy when
you have good ink an J smooth pa
per, and hu easy dusk to vi ito on,
aud the consciousness of an audi
ence of ono, two, or thtco hundred
thousand readers There nro the
religions newspapers through which
you may preach, aud tho musical
journals through which you may
sing, and tho agricultural periodi
cals through which you can plough,
and family newspapers iu which you
may romp with tho whole house
hold arotiud tho evening stand.
Thc-ro are critique to bo written,
aud reviews to bo indulged in, and
poems to be chimed, ami novels to
bo constructed. When out of a
man's pen ho can shako recreation
aud friendship and usefulness and
bread, he i apt to keep it shaking.
So great aro tho invitations to liter
ary work, that tho professional ir.on
of the day aro ovurdouo. They sit,
faint and f iggod out, on tho verge
of newepapors and books ; each oue
does tho work of three. And these
mou sit up late bight, and choko
down chunk of meet without masti
cation, and scold their wives through
irtitability, nod maul iuuocont au
thors, aud run tho physical machin
ery with a livor miserably given out.
The driving-shaft has gotio fifty
limes a socond. They stop ut no
station. The steam-chest is hot and
swollon. The brain aud tho diges
tion begin to smoke. Stop, ye Hy
ing quills I "Down brake ! ' A hot
axle
Some of our young people havo
read till tbey are crszod of learn
ed blacksmiths, who at the forge con
quered thirty languages ; aud of
shoemokers, who, pounded solo
leather, got to be philosophers i
and of milliners, who, while their
customers wero at the glass trying
on thoirspriug hats, wrote a volume
of first-rate poems. Tho fact is, no
blacksmith ought to be troubled
with more than five languages j and
instead of shoemakers boooming
philosophers, we would like to turn
our surplus of philosophers into
shoemaker i and the supply of po
etry is to much greater than the
demand, that we wish milliners
would stiok to thoir business. Ex
traordinary examples of. work and
endurance may do as much good.
Because Napoleon slept only four
boors night, bundreds of slndents
t, , i
have tried the (Nprrimeut t but, in
stead of Ansterlilz and Siiragorsa.
there camo of it only a sick headache
and a botch of recitation,-''. '
Witt Ttthivi'je., in Jloi.ie. S i, wvjor
1U
ALIITiEES.'X.
"I snpposn oil have Bomelhii g
pretty iu scatfri, mixs I ' "O, y t-,'
said the rosy-cheeked girl, handing
lown a package, here's some bin-
satins for ft dollar i just too sweet
for anything." 'd think you are n
littlo dear," ho said, with a pl asn.l
Mii.no. louuruvuiy coui union -
:t - ..v . .. - - i ..... .
at y," alio replied, her chei Km cov. r
ed with crimsou blushes. When hi
thought bow ho ha 1 been misund.ir-
stood he blushed, and ttatumered.
"O, I beg pardon, miss j I didn't ;
. . .... . ,
mt an I ) wav vu weie a little dear. 1
lueml " "Never tnind, there ate
plenty of young men wh.) ill t!iin! j
so. tbod morning." When lu !
turned away her blushes wero gone.
aud hi faco looked as if he had got
ten hi fo;t tanglod in u lil'r
train. 1'rc'z.rs Il't ..
An eminent Presbyleri in divine,
in con vers itiiui with a '7 ;. 7.
reporter this moi ning, rematked that
the "Hoy PitacherV work reininded
him of n slory of tho great Whit
field, wh.i, when pis-iing ulong a
road, was accosted by u drunken J
Indian with tho cxr'.atii it ion :
"I'gh ! don't ymi kuo-v mo ? '
"No," answered Whitlkld, I.o
aro you ?''
"Why, I W!is converle.l by you "
"l guess so,'' replied Wiiilliel 1
"It looks) liko my bungling work, for
if tho Lord had had anything to do
with it you would uol bo lying
boro."
When was Mrs. Noah like a conn
ty in Virginia When sho was
rocking Ham.
' Millions for do fence," ns the
darkey said, when n bull was chas
ing him through a field.
Kiehes often lal;.) wings, nnd tho
feilliers of thoso win.; are to be
seeu on women' bonnets.
A Lawrence, Kan is, negro, ate
live d.,i.'ii eggs, u pound of bae 'Ii
and u 1 iaf of ryo bread, on a wager
Sleep is very healthful. There is
nobody who know this hotter than
the hired girl, especially iu tin
morning. A Huff .(hi colored clergymen has
given notieo to hi congregation
that ho want moro money nnd les
shouting in tho future.
Mr. Highly (coming out of
church). "Wasn't our hinging
beautiful, Mrs. Tallfoather 1 I'm sure
you will want to comu to our church
again."
A littlo girl of 3 year explains the
Golden Kiilo to her sifter : "I I
means that you must do everything
I want you to, and mustn't do any
thing I don't waul you to."
Here's a conundrum for our torn
perunco friends "If tho devil were
to loso hi tail, where should ho go
to get auother. To a grog shop,
because thero bad spirits aro re-tailed.
Startled owner "Ury, what are
you d ling thero?'1 ! 1 ore I thief
(who ha just fallen through sky
light) "Iso blown hero, b s-:, by
dat duh dreadful hurricane wo had
Souf.
Ono ought Io be careful what he
says even about tho dead. A for
lorn widow sitting by a blazing fin
sighed, 'Poor tieorgo! How he
did liko n good fire. I hope they
have 'em whore bo's gono.
'No, sir tho worldly young man
to tho lifn insnranco agent. 'T dm.'t
feel prepared to havo my lifo insured
just yet. I do not care to feel that
I would be worth moro dead than I
I am alive."
A little girl who is noticed for her
bright speeches was seen ono day to
look at herself for a long timo in tho
mirror, after which she exclaimed,
"I'm not a bit pretty, but I'm awful
funny."
"Yes," oried Jones, in enthusiastic
praise of his native State, "ull that
Texas luoks is good society and
plenty of water."
'And, Jones,' qnietly rematked
bis friend, ''that's just all that anoth
er warm jUa lacks,"
At torn Ptis-dt-l.titc.
AXIL'S ti. cuoi'si-:.
J
A T T O U N K Y A T I i A W.
Miiii.i'i!rini ii. i
All ktitft titrn.tf.t to 11 1 irf I' r..
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lATTOSNEY AT LAW.
Sl'I.I.N-i.liii K. '..
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ATTORN CY-AT-L AW,
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will r. .'."' . r. .in .t HO. iili.iti. .1 un.' i..,1;-. j
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T I O b' -Vv i' A 7 h A IP.
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SoliliH.jrove, Pa.
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Micldlchurg SSnydcrtCour.ty. Pa.
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J It. MYKIiS,
PHYSICIAN AND SURCEOV.
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Half 8ijtr Smth ors.hooli'i eoigf,
SELINSCROVE, PA.
TOKL L. IUKlirv, Irojr.
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Terns 5.123 pwday.
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TIJIS PAPER Ktsa? h
-- AwkmtUinu Hm.o ( tonig
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