THE FULTON COUNTY NEW3. McCONNELLSBURO, PA.
The Patriotism
of Susan
1X1 -
By JANE OSBORN
icouyrlght, WIS. by McClura Newspaper
1 Syndicate.)
Ever since fifteen yours before, when
,l,e Yagers liiul (imliit old Dutch
v,rr, of their house on High street, In
Tllton, turned Into n full-fledged "front
,i,,mi." Horace
Slocuni had entertnln-
f, n passion for Susnn hopeless, but
n,in' tlit less ubsorblng. For Horace
Ms nt (lint tlnif simply a carpenter by
llio clny for the builder who built that
pl1177.1i. and though be bad no ineati
Id, n of bis own calling and bad no very
definite notion of the social superior
ity of the Yagers over the Sloeums,
It was obviously Impossible. Noth
lug could come of It. "Old Man Yager"
hinl made what for that town was n
fnriiine In the leading dry goods store,
nml Susan wan IiIh only belr. More
over, she possessed radiant red hnlr,
delimit tlp-tllted nose, n fair, rose
pilnrcd skin only the more dazzling for
the contrast of a few freckles and
dun embodied Horace Slooum's Ideal
of nil that was femininely lovely.
limine those days that be sawed
nml nailed the boards of the Yager
niii.a the twenty-year-old Susan bad
mini a heliotrope glnghnm dress as
she pattered about the garden, and as
Sliii iim ounght glimpses of her through
Hie windows; and since then there
hud been an nssoclntlonal thrill about
Hint particular hue that had remained
Mill vibrant, showing that the thirty
elrlit-yenr-old "boss carpenter" was as
bewitched by Susan as ever. Rut It
wis more hopeless. She was regard
ed ns one of the "best fixed" spinsters
In town. She lielnngou to me i ouniry
rich and had n center-aisle pew In the
fli.inli attended only by the old aris
tocracy of Tllton.
History moved slowly In Tllton dur
ing most or tliose l. years, and tnougn
nurnce fed on despair, he had little
(inise for Jealousy, for there really
were no eligible bachelors in Tllton
nnr any reason why they should come
-that Is, until Tllton awoke one day
nml found itself n war Industries cen
ter. Then for the first time since
Ore bad been n winter barracks In
oli! Tllton In the days of the Revolu
tion llie male population far outnum
bered that of the women. Only the
mules lir tills case were workmen, me
chanics, foremen, directors and pro
moters of a half dozen war-developing
Industries.
due morning In the llrst weeks of
this new regime Horace was feeling
piirtlcularly down at heart. The house
where he had boarded gloomily for
these 1.1 years had been bought up
nt a good price as an extension to one
of the plants, and he-faced the propo
sition of being homeless within a week.
It was the morning he was putting n
side porch on Widow Smith's house
next to Susan's for by this time front
porches had gone out and side porches
were In demand In Tllton.
"Too bad about Miss Susan," the
widow remarked. She had brought
her pen shelling to the side window,
for she was nothing loath to converse
with the comely carpenter, who stop
ped sawing as If suddenly paralyzed
ami gazed back blankly at the widow.
"What's wrong?" he managed to
ask.
"till, she would manage her own af
fairsdid her bunking all In an out-nf-iown
hank, wouldn't have a lawyer,
nml now" the widow Smith here
upoke with slow emphasis as she fold
ed her bands over the dish of peas
nml looked hard at Horace. "Now
flic's keeping boarders."
"Keeping boarders!" Horace gasped.
"Yes, and you can believe ine that
vlicn any one as proud as Susan Ya
ger would keep boarders, she's pretty
well reduced, ltut she would have her
own way and now now she's reaping
the results."
The fact really was that Susan had
n houseful of boarders; and as every
one said nml all the neighbors were
tosslplng about it she couldn't have
"become reduced" at a better time, for
there were hundreds of out-of-town
nr workers only too eager to snap at
a chance to become pnrt of that house
hold. Horace bad so long been accustomed
tn r mood of calm despair that the pal
pitation he experienced on actually
seeking admission for himself In Su
san's hoarding house was Immensely
illstnrhlng. Perhaps he would not have
been so reckless, but now for the llrst
time the element of Jealousy entered.
There were some .TO or 00 apparently
pIIijIIiIh bachelors In Tllton, and of
these Susnn had undertaken to accom
modate under her spacious roof six.
Horace was the seventh.
Apparently Susan was a great iniinii
tfr, for soon the excellence of the fare
"f her board became proverbial
through Tllton. She retained her old
Southern cook, got a couple of young
.'ills in to wash dishes, and wait on
tohle and still managed to make a go
Love Your Work.
The richest rewards come only when
"ne 4-nii literally fall In love with one's
nrl(. If you are keenly Interested in
Jntir dully efforts, your work Is being
il'itio more satisfactorily. It Is a labor
of love. Every day Is an enjoyable ex
perience. Love your work. Retain your youth
ful enthusiasm. All this means that
Kmi must take every possible care of
Jur health. That you must maintain
ymir physical energies at high-water
"ark. Remember always that you do
11111 upon your bodily machine for the
.Mtniniuent of your object In life. Tnko
o of that machine.
Is It not worth more than an auto
'nolille, than an nlrplane, a fine horse
r K? Recognize Its value to the full,
"member that each day you are what
'ur food makes you. Your muscles,
,nf strength and contour of your I inly,
Influenced by the exercise you
hike. The blond that "makes up the
"wiles, that nourishes and give; en
'8y and enthusiasm to your brni: . de
"'"'ts upon your diet and cxercls .ind
mo yenonii ere of your body. I : ysi
141 Culture.
of It or apparently she did, for peo
ple soon observed Hint a coat of paint
was being applied and other signs of
a full purse were In evidence. Then
she drew Horace aside one evening
after the other boarders were leaving
the dining room and asked him wheth
er he would undertake the job of put
ting on a side porch like that of Mrs.
Smith's, and, though Horace Und an
opportunity of taking some contract
work for one of the new Industries at
a really stupendous figure, he assured
her that be could begin at once.
It was the llrst time he Mad worked
on the Yagers' house since that time
15 years before, when lie had first
thrilled under the no-ir presence of his
Ideal. And her figure wna still as be
witching, though possibly a llltle
plumper, her skin ns fair were (here
n few'niore freckle?? and to make the
ecstasy complete she again wore a
frock of heliotrope muslin.
Still people pitied poor Susan Ya- j
ger. To be sure, she apparently
making money, having oil those im-
provements, but that was probably only
another evidence of her extreme nu k
of business sense. Thnt Is the way
Mrs. Smith looked nt the matter, ns
she assured Horace she had every
reason to. believe Susan was fright
fully Involved In debt.
It was one night after that man Mlg-
glesworth, vice president of one of the
big Industries, bad been showing (ns
Horace thought) too marked a devo
tion to Susan that Horace got his cour
age up. After all, he assured himself,
his presumption now was not what it
would have been once, for the Susnn
Yager heiress was a different person
to woo than Susan Yager bankrupt,
Susan Yager, boarding house keeper.
Strnngely enough, all his awkward
hashfulness vanished, when he found
himself alone with Susan In her little
sitting room, nnd the tip-Hit of her
nose didn't seem half so proud and for
bidding. He stood close beside her
and realized that she was really not
a tall, haughty person at all ; her glori
ous auburn hair scarcely reached his
heart.
He began quite deliberately, and told
her he had loved her 15 years, nnd
was asking her to marry hlni now, be-
cause lie wanted to mane ner i -
pendent, pay her bills and share his
vears Ravings with her.
And Susan promptly told Horace
that she didn't think she could ever
find a husband who would suit her bet
ter, let him stenl one short delirious
kiss, nnd sent him off to heel.
Somehow Horace had expected she
would say that she appreciated his
generosity about taking the debts. He
concluded that she was still proud, as
Yagers always were, and this Is
why she had not done so. Rut the
next day she met him with a radiant
smile that turned Into contagious
laughter. "I couldn't tell you last
night," she said, "because after all It
is comparatively unimportant. Rut,
you see, I haven't any debts. I've
mnnnged my own nfTalrs nnd well.
I've tripled the estate father left me.
Rut I wanted to do something patriot
ic, and when I asked Mr. Mlgglesworth
what I could do he said the most press
tug need was more bonrdlng houses
said the plants would have to close If
there weren't more accommodations. I
thought every one would know I did
It just for patriotism."
"And and still you are willing to
marry me?"
"Yes, Horace." (
"And there Is nothing I can do for
vou?" this In a crestfallen accent.
"Yon can give up doing house Jotis,
she said, "take some war contract and
give the proceeds to the Red Cross.",
And of course Horace did.
Why He Was Worried.
Carl J. Carter, prosecuting attorney
for the Riirtholomew and Decatur cir
cuit court, who lives near Columbus,
hnd Just been explaining to his wife
certain matters In his questionnaire,
and that she would be required to
swear to certain matters therein stated
relative to dependencies.
Donald, his six-year-old son, while
on the way to the city In company
with his mother, seemed to be In a face veils occupy the attention or tne
rather worried staie of mind, and was big majority of women. Of tills par
exceptloimlly quiet. . j tlcular kind of veil there are, however,
"What Is the matter with you. Don- ninny varieties which are worth the
aid?" Mrs. Carter Inquired. 1 uttention of women who appreciate
"Oh, ninnimn, I was just thinking how much a veil can do for the com
about you having to swear, nnd I don't ploxhm and the face. Resides, there
ui-n if rSm't vim nv Miil' colic It' nro the small, floating veils which are
and let It go nt that?" Indianapolis
News.
French Nerve.
A French balloon observer was at
tached to an American unit. For four
days he went up In his bulky sausago
and remained there unperturbed by
whistling shells, directing the fire of
whist ing she us, t.trec tng tne re or
American batteries. On the fifth day
a (Senium airplane dived from a low
i i ui. ii. mocht.,.. e.m uoliiLr Tim
cloud with Its 'machine gun going. The
balloon dissolved In flame and smoke,
nnd the observer took to his para
chute. The Roche airman, not content with
destroying the sausage, pursued the
Frenchman ns ho floated down, pump
ing bullets nt the outspread umbtvlla.
And the Frenchman coolly drew his re
volver und answered the Roche's lire.
Wire's Long Stretch.
While S. E. Wharton of Roston was
traveling in Switzerland his attention
was culled to the longest unsupported
telegraph wire he hnd ever seen. It
crosses In one span the Lake of Wal
lcnstndt, being fnstened to two Iron
towers which are almost 8,000 feet
apart. The lino Is made of steel and
that section of It closest to the lake
Is more than 100 foot above the sur
face of the water.
Contrary Mineral.
Coal Is n contrary critter. Instead
of expanding generously, like water,
In freezing weather, It contracts rap
idly. Tho sensitive conl pile shrinks
nt the first touch of winter nnd, with
the mercury nt zero, when every re
spectable commodity Is frozen stiff,
the costly conl pile melts nwny like
Simple Simon's snowball before the
Are.
Deceptions.
"Didn't the late P. T. Rarnum say
the public likes to ho humbugged?"
"Yes. Rut be didn't mean the way
the Prussluns hove tiled to do It."
WHAT CAN
hpSIei Do?
Under the stress of war even moth
era of nursing babies have had to go
to work-in munition plants nnd other
places In France, and probably the
Bnnie thing less true In England, and
even In our own country. It In said
that during the first months of the
war In Kronen Imlilca illed nt fin nlortll
,ng rnte Thls t,.mll,(1 t0 ti,.stroy the
morale of the civil population, which
,s so esspntn na .inspiration to the
flsi,tng lm,n, Und It also robbed
France of noc,it,,i future citizens.
The French government had already
before the war taken steps to conserve
Its Infants, but did not take up the
matter of Infant welfare extensively
until the war came and the infant
death rate suddenly and rapidly In
creased. To make up for the lack of
home caro, nurseries were established
where sell n title treatment could be
given to babies and where the mothers
could go nt Intervals during the day
to nurse their babies, thus eliminating
the risk of artificial feeding. The
babies are cured for day and night,
kept warm and clean, provided with
fresh air and made generally com
fortable. Mothers can nurse them
during the night If the child's welfare
requires It. This has worked out to
the advantage of babies and mothers
In wartime, and will be continued
doubtless. In one community, where
the mayor of n town was also u doc
tor, the death rate for babies was re
duced to zero for ten years there Is
no equally good record anywhere.
It Is natural that the welfare of
children should be the care of women
everywhere, nnd every community
ought to make an effort as a com
munityto establish a place where
mothers who must leave their chil
dren during working hours can be
helped out, nnd young and Inexpert
The Story
Tho storv of Hie veil If It Is con
fined to the fashionable veil Is rather
brief nt present, because only small
worn with so much grace and prove
so alluring on women who know how
to "carry them off," and the veils for
motoring. In addition to these one
must not overlook some pleasing nov
elties that aro occasionally seen on
younger women and girls who like odd
and striking tilings.
Nearly nil the small, ciose-ntting
: rc ,,, of flnuvery fine
, wlth
tnrc ' " " strnvlna
embroidered floral sprn.vs strnjing
over them. Or they may ue spiasneu
with widely detached motifs or fin
ished with dots. All these decorative
touches appear In borders as well as In
patterns that trail over the mesh or
dot It. There are also veils of heavier
threads nnd In both the fine nnd heavy
threads there are smnll-mesh varieties.
It would be Impossible nnd unnecessary
to doscrlho all of tbera. The thing
to remember Is that one should experi
ment before buying and try on differ
ent veils ns we do hats, In order to
select tho becoming pattern. Rhick
nnd taupe are the most popular colors,
but there aro others.
Among veils that have found favor
there Is a novelty that combines Hie
mesh veil with pluin chiffon so that
one veil answers two purposes. In a
moderately long veil of chiffon a
squnre of silk mesh Is set, so Unit the
faco may be covered with either and
the chiffon ends left floating. It Is
very attractive. A very soft veil with
Knitted Hat Band.
An nccessory of fashion that will
gain In favor as autumn advances Is
the knitted hat band nnd ties adorned
with various colored wool or silk flow
ers This Is, of course, a very old
mode revived, for beautiful silk flow
ered work existed In the sixteenth or
seventeenth century, nnd somo very
quaint effects In wool work nre reniln
iscmt of early Victorian days. Tho
hitter was, however, resuscitated with
a new glory by a famous French gen
ius ubout seven years ago, who man-
i.v...- m,,,..;.. "90 . ; :
enced mothers directed and advised
as to the feeding and care required hy
their Infants. When the time comes
for a discontinuance of work for sol
diers and their families, women who
have given so much time and attention
to this war work might use their or
ganizations to help along the human
welfare movement, and more especial
ly the Infant welfare work.
The war has left many orphans and
half-orphans In France nnd Relglum.
A contribution of about three dollars
a month will support one of these chil
dren, nml this is another charity that
merits the consideration of women
women's clubs und business organiza
tions. The amount is so small that It
will not he felt nt all when divided up
among the members of even a small
club.
Combination Sweater Blouse.
An extremely serviceable and Jaunty
garment Is the new combination
sweater blouse, devised by some one
who wanted to conserve wool without
giving up"the good points of the sweat
er. A blouse of some gay striped silk
Is first made according to a pnttern
Hint opens down the front with fronts
that fold back and join In a wide
sailor collar. Rut the sailor collar Is
not made of the silk. Instead It Is
made of some color wool that goes
well with the stripes In the silk, ns
are also wide cuffs for the sleeves and
n footwlde hip section that forms a
tight-fitting peplum for the blouse. To
put It on It Is simply pulled on over
the head. It Is a charming little thing
to wear with the walking suit skirt,
nnd the wool Is placed Just where the
additional warmth under the suit coat
might lie most welcome on frosty
mornings.
of the Veil
a coarse mesii, Having a Horner woven
with figures In n liner mesh, is shown,
with a pluin chiffon veil, In the Illus
tration. An extreme nnd novel veil
has had a following among young
people. It consists of an ohlong or a
large, square-meshed veil bordered
with chiffon nnd hangs straight from
Hie front of the turban to the waist
line while a longer veil of plain chif
fon hangs from the hack. There Is a
bonier of 'chenille dots In graduated
sizes set across the lower edge of the
mesh veil. Long scarfs of malliies at
tached to small hats ond turbans, to
be wrapped about the fnce and neck,
were among the alluring things that
came In with late summer and are
pretty enough to survive the passing
of a season. They were in any of
the colors used for hats and ought nt
least to reappear on the between
seasons hats that will soon be with us.
Panels Are Looped.
The panel has never been more evi
dent. It appears In n thousand effects.
In n gray satin it Is developed In a
looped panel at the buck, made of tho
satin and fulling In front in an npron
panel made of tine net banded across
the bottom with a gray fur half n foot
deep." Of course,' the foundation skirt
of this particular dress Is as narrow i.s
It can bo, and because one must be
nble to tnke steps while wearing It the
two pieces nt the bottom of tho skirt
are crossed In the back, separating as
one moves. Paris sends over a num
ber of these cross-draped skirts, de
signed evidently to give the extreme
narrow Hues on which approval has
been placed.
aired to mix the most crude colors with
daring success. He has, Indeed, left us
deeply Indebted by his teachings.
Clutch Your Coat
Panne velvet Is a revival and
adapts Itself to Hie reversible cloak
that depends upon draping for its
graceful lines. Furs of nil kinds are
used either permanently attached to
the cloak or to bo adjusted when
worn. Tho really chic Pnrlslun never
fastens her clonk, but clutches It together.
M i . 'ill.-- TS ov.--.
Reasons for Failure of Heating Systems
By J. D. HOFFMAN
(From Paper Presented at the Meeting of the American Society of Heating
and Ventilating Engineers, in Buffalo, New York)
The lime has come for a campaign
heating nnd ventilation In Hie homes of
found through which to educate the public to demand and see that they get
more satisfactory heat In their homes.
Heretofore hentltig engineers have
heating and ventilating system Into lll-concelveil nml pooriy consirucien
houses nnd have trusted to their ability as engineers to oven ic the handi
cap Imposed upon Hie systems by architects or constructors who knew little
nnd cared less about the requirements of home comfort. iow tnai ine stress
of severe winter Is approaching wo limy ask ourselves: What and how may
the heating and ventilating engineers do to assist In laying the foundation
of a more effective economy In the years Just ahead?
I have especially In mind some of those conditions (principally residen
tial) thnt not only work against economic heotlng, but absolutely prevent It
In n large number of cases. Some of these conditions are due to the mistakes
of Hie architect with knowledge aforethought or otherwise, omo of them to
those of the heating man (or hardware mnn) who Installs tho system, nnd
some to those of tho householder who, practicing false economy, Is not willing
to pny the price of good work.
In most of the ordinary balloon-framed bouses the eheathlng Is very
Inferior In grade and loosely butted at tho edges, when there should be solid
bonrds and lap Joints. Some of the bouses have no building paper or Its
equivalent, some have one course of the building paper and a few have two,
but very few courses are laid with care to serve as an Insulation. Two
courses of paper In face contact lire, It should he stated. Inferior to one
course with the sheathing and one course woven In nnd out over the studding;
or, to one course with tho shenthlng nnd one course on the Inside of the tud
ding, with Htrlpplngs under the laths to bring the plaster free from the paper
surface. Again, suppose the wall Is well protected against liileakage, but the
upper nnd lower ends of the spaces between the studs arc open; In this case
there Is freer convection of nlr upward between the Inner nnd outer layers of
the wall and the heat that should be kept within the room Is dissipated to
this nlr current nml lost to the nttlc, and the conditions are worse limn the
open wall In that the heat Is lost nnd there Is no corresponding physical bene
fit from Inlenkage.
Another feature of house design that Is frequently fatal to the plans of
the hentlng engineer Is the overhanging room with only one thickness of
seven-clghth-lnch flooring on the room nnd light celling over" the porch. This
always gives n cold floor that Is not only uncomfortable to the occupants, hut
eliminates hentlng possibilities on cold days. These remarks do not apply, of
course, to Hlplng porches with no heat. If an overhanging room Is desired,
be sure to provide for a well-lnsulaled floor.
One feature of house const ruction that reflects against the builder rather
than the architect Is the loose construction around the windows. The owner
wishes free moving sash and the workmen give him everything he could
desire In this regard. Rut bow about the person who Is expected to Inhabit
the room on n zero day when the wind Is blowing a 20-mlle velocity? I have
caught snow In my hand nt n distance of two feet from n tightly locked win
dow in a house supposed to have better Hum ordinary construction. Window
strips, metal weather strips and storm windows may lie urged. Storm win
dows, lop hung, give satisfactory Insulation during the cold days nnd nt the
same time provide ventilating possibilities on moderate days. An average nine
room house nin be supplied with good storm windows, west, north and east,
for tin expenditure of from $7.r to $100, nnd the coal saving will pay for (lie
first cost In two years' time. Such storm windows are no hindrance to open
window ventilation when desired.
Next, let us look at the chimney. Several points In common practice
among architects lend toward Inefficiency. The outside chimney, in spite of
Its pMslhllltles toward exterior ornamentation, Is not a pood draft producer
because of tho chilling effect of tho outside nlr.
Another point, chargeable principally to the owner, Is Hie low basement
celling that reduces the pitch of tho steam mains or warm-nlr lenders to a
minimum. If the average householder realized the Importance of extra pitch
to tho pipes In the basement, he would let loose of enough additional capital
to guarantee n celling height of eight feet instead of six feet, ns is so often
found.
Is It "not possible to develop a campaign of education In such a way that
the average man who may be contemplating building himself a little home
mny become more Informed on these vital points that are so necessary to
co-firdlnutlng the heating and ventilating features with the building con
struction, nnd In that way develop an Independent thinker who will not he
wholly nt the mercy of the unscrupulous promoter or the uninformed Individual
win) frequently poses as an architect or engineer?
Mny the lime soon come when we will build our houses to serve ns homes
and not ns private cantonments.
HfZ Mother's
"jfti Cook
fjx Book
Klnlsli every day nml he done with It.
You hnve (loan wlint yon ooiilil, sonic
blunders have crept In; fornet them us
son an you can. Tomorrow In n new day:
you Bhnll hcKln It well nnd serenely nod
With ft too lik'n spirit to be cumbered
with your old nonsense. Kmerson.
Economical Dishes.
, A delicious Scotch broth may he
made from the liquor In which boiled
mutton was cooked. Remove the fat,
add a finely cut turnip, carrot, onion
nnd n stalk of celery. Cook until the
vegetables are tender.
Cream Soup.
Cut thin slices of brend as thin as
shavings, put them with a small
amount of butter In a saucepan and
Btlr until well browned; ndd salt to
taste and add boiling water enough to
make the amount of soup needed, then
add a cupful of boiling cream, and be
sure that the soup Is well suited. More
cream mny be added If a richer soup
Is desired.
Green Pea Custard.
Rinse i can of green peas In cold
water; snve for n broth. Add the peas
to a pint of milk, n toaspoonful of suit,
a dash of pepper nnd two well-beaten
eggs. Cook In Individual cups In n pan
of hot water until the custurd Is firm.
Cheese Croquettes. .
Cut Into smnll dice one poun'. of
Amerlcnn cheese. Have ready a cup
ful of hot white sauce; add It to the
cheese, the yolks of two well-beaten
eggs, diluted with a little cream. Stir
until well blended; season with suit,
Plant Strength Will Force
Stones Out of Their Place
One would scarcely associate great
strength with so delicate nnd frag e
0 thing as maiden hnlr fern, et if its
roots have not sulllclcnt room they wll
break tho pot In which the plant
grows. Blades of grass will force the
curbstones between which they spring
up out of their plnce. Indeed, plants
are on record as having broken hard
rocks The Island of Ablahra, to the
northwest of Madagascar, Is becoming
smaller through the action of the
mangroves that grow along tho foot
of the cliffs.
the Ruby Ranks First.
It Is a popular error to suppose that
the diamond is the most valuable of
tho precious stones. The relative value
of the liner gems places the ruby nt
the head of tho list ; the diamond sec
ond, nnd, following this, tho snpphlro.
It Is a very common occurrence to find
a perfect dlumoiid, but a perfect ruby
In rare '
of education for more satisfactory
our country. Some means should be
paclllcaity cmiciivoreu io m ineir
red pepper and a grating of nutmeg.
Set on Ice until cold, then form Into
croquettes. Roll In fine crumbs, dip
In egg and brown In a little f it.
Baked Bread and Cheese.
Spread slices of stale broad with
butter, lay in a linking dish nnd cover
with a pint of milk to which two eggs
have been added. Season well with
pepper nnd suit, add a cupful of good
flavored cheese, grated, and bake un
til the custard Is thick.
Hat.' 7W
CTlD
Somewhat Annoying.
"It makes me mad for my husband
to tai'k In his sleep."
"The fioor mnn can't help It."
"Maybe not, but It looks like an Inti
mation that I don't give him a chance
nt any other time."
At Last.
"Pey sny soap
Is goln' to lie more
expensive," said
Meandering Mike.
"I hope It Is,"
replied PlmMIng
Pete. "I've wait
ed years fur sonic
half-way excuse
fur not iisln' It."
Evidently a Novice.
"You told me you were an experi
enced waiter," said .the restaurant
ninnnger.
"How do you know I'm not?"
"You said 'lliank yon' for a 2" cent
tip."
U. S. Sets New High Mark
For Its Foreign Commerce.
New high records for September for
eign trade In both Imports and exports
were announced by the department of
commerce. Imports were $l!(VJ.(HH),0ik),
an Increase of nearly $2(1,000,000 over
September, 1917, and exports $.Vi0.
000,000, an Increase of about $100,
000.000. For the nine months ending
September, 1018, Impel ts were $2X".
000.000, n Increase of $ IO,lHH,tKK).
while exports for the nine months, val
ued at $4,.r01,000,tXtO, represented a
slight decrease.
Stirrups.
Stirrups were unknown to the an
cients. Along the public roads there
were placed stones to enable horse
men to mount. Stirrups were used to
some extent in the fifth century, but
were not common even so late as the
twelfth. Horseshoeing Is a very nn
cient art. It Is represented on a colu
of Tarentum of about 350 R. C.
"Gobs," Not "Jackies," and
"Yanks," Not "Sammees," Are
Names Our Fighters Prefer
A gob Is a sailor, a mnn of the Amer
ican navy, a bluejacket, and the trm
is self applied w rites Samuel O. Rlyth
III Sat unlay F.vculng Tost. It Is tb
generic term for nil men In the er
Ice, up to those who wear tho gold ota
thvlr sleeves; and even ho, the sail
ors often speak of tho austere oom-
ii'iimllng olllcer as the main gob. The
use of It primarily Is to show the sail
ors' detestation-for the usual denl-t
nation of Hiem Jaekles. Nothing
rouses the Ire of a sailor so quickly
an tif call him a Jackie. He doesn't
like It, and will not have It. No di
minutive, ns expressed by the "le," for
him. It doesn't fit either his own as
sumption of his manliness or with th
fact of that manliness.
Ho Is e big, hrond-chested, browned,
hairy, two-fisted person, and thin
speaking of lilm ns a jackio with IU
Implication of small boyishness U
anathema to him. He Is rough, tough
stuff In a rough, tough gnme; a fight
ing mnn. a man who goes to sea In any
thing that comes along, from a dread
nought to a motor launch no bigger
than a whale boat, withstands ttu
perils of It, does the Incalculable la
bor of It, has the clear-eyed courage of?
If, Is ready to fight over, on top or un
der water, and does so fight, and h
feels Insulted to be called Jackie as
If he were a fair-haired, red checked
little fellow sailing a toy bout In
pond.
Jackie? Forget that Jackie stuff.
Where do you get It, anyhow? ttob.
dod gust you g-o-b! It Is the am
with the soldiers. Their resentment,
of the attempt to tack Hie Sammeea
on them Is acrid and universal. They
won't hnve It. Ami I don't blame
Hit in, having, ns It happens, an acute
personal Interest In the matter. NW
Snmucl is a gsd sonorous Ribilcal
name, ami Sam Is the virile contrac
tion thereof, but this Snmmee business
gts on one's nerves. Hence our
soldiers, scorning Hie Snmmee appel
lation, call themselves Yanks, which
it a good, masculine, soldierly term;
thus the men In our nnvy call them
selves gobs.
Food for Thought
You never can tell. The un
der dog sometimes deserves all
be gets.
Paradoxical as it may seem,
many u fellow bus a weakness
for strong language.
Foresight may be nil right, but
it won't keep u rmiii from being
stabbed in the back.
The (Senium tinny has evident
ly discovered Unit It Is cheaper
to move than to pay rent.
The pessimist is always look
ing for the worst, and complains
when he gets it.
Sneezing Superstitions Had
No Connection With the "Flu."
In Scotland it has been maintained
that Idiots nre Incapable of sneeaing.
ami the power to do so has been deem
ed evidence of the possession of a cer
tain degree of Intelligence. It was a
Flemish belief Unit u sneeze during
a conversation for a bargain proved
that what you said was the (ruth. Th
Chinese believe that a snezee on New
Year's eve means hud luck through
the coining year. The .lapano.se huh!
Hint one sneeze menus that some one
Is praising yon, two show blame,
whereas. If you sneeze three times P"u
are merely III. Kxcbiinge.
Dissenting Views.
"IMiln't you think the new play rath
er fatuous?"
"Well, no; I thought It rather thli.
Wanted a Square Deal.
"Just thought of that V you loaned
me three years ago, old mnn. Her
it Is, nnd a thousand thanks."
"Hold on! $2..')0 more, If you please.
A dolbir Is worth only fifty-four cent
compared with what It was when r u
got the loan."
Family Interests.
"And what did
the doctor tell
you?"
"Why. he look
ed me over and
asked me If I had
made a will."
"Ah. Is your
condition so bad?"
"I don't know ;
but his brother
Is n lawyer."
What He Didn't Like About Helen.
Kenneth's little playmate, Helen,
was to have a party. Only girls wer
to be Invited, but Kenneth was na
il ware of this fact, lie longed for an
Invitation and expected one up to the
day of the party. Put alas! the Invita
tion didn't come. Pownhenrtcd, he said
to his mother: "You know, mother, I
like Helen awfully well, but I cer
tainly don't like her ways."
Professional Reason.
"What are people advised to teTt
their troubles to a policeman?"
"neon use ho Is the most likely per
son to help them In arresting atten
tions." Sending Them Away With a Smile.
"We must do something to keep the
soldiers from feeling distressed whea
they start for France," said tho enthu
siastic camp worker.
"Why not get Mlsn Yowlcr to alnj
for them?"
"Do you think thnt would have th
desired effect?"
"Unquestionably. Every man wh
hoard her would be glnd to leave."
ill