THE FULTON COUNTY NEWS. McCONNELLSBURO, PA.
MS MADE WELL
r Lydia E. Pinkham'c Vejr-
he Compound and Want
Other Suffering Women
To Know It
jorfreesboro, Tenn. "I have
Dted to write to you for a long time
to leu y ou wnat your
wonderful remedies
have done for me. I
was a sufferer from
female weakness
and displacement
and I would have
uch tired, worn out
feelings, sick head
aches and dizzy
spells. Doctors did
me no good so I tried
the Lydia E. Pink-
i Remedies Vegetable Compound
Sanative Wash. I am now well and
nz and can do all my own work. I
L it all to Lydia E. Pinkham'i Vege-
Compound and want other suffer
women to know about it. "Mrs.
E. Madf.n, 211 S. Spring St, Mur-
riboro, Tenn.
Tiii famous remedy, the medicinal
redient of which are derived from
,va roots and herbs, has for nearly
:y years proved to be a most vaJua
tonic and invigorator of the female
anism. women everywnere Dear
mg testimony to the wonderful vir
of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
pound.
Why Lob Hope,
o woman suffering from any form
female troubles should lose hope un
tie has given Lydia E. Pinkham a
etable Compound a fair trial.
k tin want special advice write to
r. . . ii ii . ji i n . i a
lil h. I insnsm Aieuicine 10. iconr
ilill J.ynn, Mass. Your letter will
ineneil. read and ans ered br a
bit aud held In strict confidence.
iiB's Pills
it done ottn esionisnesma invuu,
UMlcllr of mind, huoyfiuy 01 body ,
GOOD WGESIION,
put bowels and (olid flesh. Price, 2S cte.
tie dachshund bus very short legs,
hit pants are Just as long as those
by other dog.
a OWN DtlH.dlNT Wll.l. TKI.I. YOU
Virtro Bra Hrwrij fur KM. Wok. Wslr
K.s romlort. Writ f.tr Bok of thn fe.r
Luj I'rwj. Marls bye Hrmedj Co.. Cbicmu.
coli
The Proper Kind.
bat tort of a crew do you want
an this bark of yours?"
lunpoxe one of old sea dogs."
htiNd fio KFFFmvi! An ki.ixib
tUKK Vr Malaria: (hills a Fvr.
I at Poller, J; W. Rpynoldn, Newport
A.,payM: It In a Dilantins to reommend
yk forClilllHaml Fever. HaveiiHedltwhpn
sr- fur 9 yearn and bare found no remedy
wtltr." r.llilr imieKMi'enlM,Mlilni(r
or iiy I'an-rl l'ont, prepaid, from Hloetew
(V, WiiNlilntrt.iii
, D. f ).
i Muvn-llubrk Liver Pills.
If cent
A Whole Family.
t'hat are you doing there with the
r and scissors, Elsie?"
Ukhig a pig, mamma."
A pit;! You're making a litter."
aiipe.
rvs rOOT-EASK for the T1UWP8
MMHlparlfitfreaof Allen' Knot-Kane, the
luc imwder to ahaka ltitoyoiiralioen,are
uurd by the German and Allied trnnpn at
nmt Ireouune It rettn tlia feet, frWen In
relief to Coma and Bunions, bot, awollpn,
.lender feet, and makea walking eany.
rrybere, S6e. Try It TODAY. W
m tubuituti Adv
Quid His Inspiration.
hat inspired this dainty spring
babbled the romantic girl.
"odlla and violets, I ween."
o," said the matter-of-fuct poet,
0 I'm going good all I want is a
1 ot tobacco."
AT THE FIRST SIGNS
Filling Hair Get Cuticura. It
Works Wonders. Trial Free.
lid"
'"'JCh spots of dandruff and Itching
Cuticura Ointment, and follow
morning with a hot shampoo of
ra Soap. This at once arrests
"4 hair and promotes hair growth,
may roly on these supercreamy
"lents for all skin troubles,
ople each free by mall with Dook.
pORtcard, Cuticura, Dept. XY,
0. Sold everywhere. Adv.
What Ailed It
1 w town seems awful dead. Had
"ourge of any kind?" asked
''ranger.
r." answerer! fri citizen.
r'o imallpoi or yellow fever?"
P flood or famine?"
r11. what alls your town this
U'ing ails it this year, but a
'truck it last year." Topeka
er
lraiJ
t
eVf.
met
,
ouseworklsaBurden
bard enough to keep bousa if in
lQCt health Ktil A u.nman turiri i
i tired and .ifr.r; fm an akinrt
1 1 i - -as,i mg taw mt awuuij
f'tws heavy burden.
woman in this condition has good
r- iispect kidney trouble, especial
iu ue kidney action seams disordered.
9o Kidney Pilla have cured thou-
wflering women. It's the best
meoded special kidney remedy.
A Pennsylvania Cue
Mrs. Campbell,
nurse, 2MS S. l.'th
St., Philadelphia,
pa., saya: "for
nvn -years I bad
kidney dlaease. I
wouldn't rent wll
and my health got
o pour I could
hardly do my
work. I doctored
and tried every
medlrtne I knew
of, without surceas
until I took Doan'a
,feiiM ' k. i a n e y run.
. ' w3 me and It hn been a Inni
' l'oubu.llave had ttny turther kla-
S A ay Stan. 80 a Baa
JOAN'S VPV
L MLBURN rr .. RirFFAi o. n. v.
Perils of College
Life for One Who
Is Not a Christian
Br REV. HOWARD W. POPE
Supnaltadnl 4 Mta, Mood, BibU lutiratf
TKXT Having no hope, end without
Ood In the world.-Ephealans 2:12.
1. Without Christ you can never
have a satisfactory philosophy of life.
"Whence did I
come? What am
I here for? Whith
er am I going?"
These are ques
tions which will
forever remain
u n a n s w e rable.
Life will be an
enigma, and
doubts will dark
en your dying
hour. Hecome ac
quainted with
Christ and doubts
begin to disap
pear. You see
what you oukM to
be. You also discover how this change
Is to be wrought through Christ's
death for you on the cross, and the re
production of his life in you by the
Holy Spirit. This Is no dream or fic
tion, but a blessed reality, and he who
commits the keeping of bis life to the
Lord Jesus will soon find It so.
2. Without Christ you can never
do your beet work. You have insati
able cravings which no one can satisfy
but the Lord Jesus. You have a fund
of energy which no one can dispel, and
powers of usefulness which no one
can develop so well as the Savior.
Jesus Christ is as Indispensable to a
thinking man as sunshine to a flower.
Consider too the Inconsistency of
searching all creation for facts, and
yet Ignoring the greatest fact In the
world's history that Christ died and
rose again. This alone, the best at
tested fact In history, makes the ap
peal to become a Christian supremely
rational. If you refuse the appeal. It
devolves on you to give tbe reason
why.
3. One's capacity to know God
weakens by disuse, and may be utterly
lost. Charles Darwin said in early
life, "I believe God will reveal him
self to every Individual soul, and my
most passionate desire Is a deeper
and clearer vision of God. Dut one
can easily lose all belief in the spirit
ual by giving up the continual thought
and care for spiritual things." Near
the end of his life he said, "In my
younger dnys I was deeply religious,
but I made my mind a kind of machine
for grinding out general laws In the
material world, and my spiritual na
ture atrophied." His last days were
clouded with sadness and spiritual
gloom.
Rev. J. Douglass Adam, D. D., of
New York, said at a Northfleld con
ference a few yeara ago, "A friend of
mine was once on a parliamentary
commission with Prof. T. H. Huxley.
They happened to stay at a little coun
try Inn over Sunday. Huxley said to
my friend, "I suppose you are going to
church this morning?"
"'I am; I always go to church.'
"'I know you do,' said Huxley, 'but
suppose this morning you sit down
and talk with me about religion sim
ple experimental religion.'
'"I will,' said my friend, 'If you
mean it.'
"They sat down together, and my
friend out of a deep and rich experi
ence told him of the cross of Christ
and pardoning love, and after three
hours tears stood in Huxley's eyes and
he put out his hand and said, 'If I
could only believe that, I would be
willing to give KJ right hand.' What
do you call that but Intellectual Im
prisonment? Huxley was perhaps the
greatest scientific enemy of Christian
ity in our generation.
"The. same friend told me that again
and again Mr. John Morley would
come to him in the lobby of the house
of commons, and put his hand in his
and say, 'I want you to pray for me.
I am going to Ireland on important
executive business, and I want your
prayers.' Morley is perhaps the lead
ing literary agnostic today."
What a pitiful picture! Two master
ful minds so Imprisoned by reason
that they could not believe! Con
scious ot their need of God, and yet
not knowing how to approach him! A
dying man once (aid to the writer, "I
know I ought to turn to God, but !
have had my own way so long that
now I lack the power to turn. I have
lost control ot my own will and I must
die as I have lived."
The conclusion is this, that every
student ought to accept Christ, and
ought to' do It now. If be waits five
years, the chances are that he will
never do It. Every year that he puts
it off he loses something of hta capa
city to discern spiritual truth, and to
feel Its force.
Every man wishes to make the most
of himself. The only possib.e way to
do this Is to decide now, for every mo
ment some part of his Inheritance Is
slipping away, never to be regained.
Strictly speaking, it Is NOW or NEV
ER. "Behold, now is the accepted time;
behold, now is the day of salvation."
(II Cor. 6:2.)
All Must Be Well.
If I believe In God, In a being who
made me and. fashioned me, and
knows my wants and capacities and
necessities, because he gave them to
me, and who is perfectly good and
loving, righteous, and perfectly wise
and powerful whatever my circum
stances Inward or outward may be,
however thick the darkness which en
compasses me, I yet can trust, yea,
be assured, that all will be well, that
he can draw light out of darkness,
and make crooked things straight
Thomas Ersklne.
Reputation Is what men and wom
en think of us; character Is what God
and the angels know of us. Thomas
Falne.
Beautiful Veil
,1
Fortunate the bride whose wedding
equipment Includes one of these lovely
veils of net with widely scattered
small dots and rich border of princess
laco. Many of the- new veils extend
about to the knees, and their length
Is governed more by the bride's taste
than by a mandate of fashion. In
truth, much Independence Is allowed
tho brido this year, or she has as
serted her own ideas and arrayed
herself and her maids in gowns long
or short and cut In the styles she
likes the "Best. .,
Many wedding gowns have been
made this season of sheer voiles or ot
net trimmed with lace. One thin nnd
lacy fabric draped over another al
most equally, thin makes an airy ef
fect which Is liked for the brides' and
bridesmaids' costumes. For the latter,
wide net-top laces or shadow laces
used for the gowns, and wide-brimmed
picture hats with transparent brims
and flower trimming appear to have
compelled the choice In their favor by
Broad stripes in her blouses, pockets
on her skirts, dashing belts In black
patent leather and white kid. and
novel bracelets made by strands of
"friendship" slides, strung on narrow
velvet ribbon, are among the tads of
this summer's "summer girl." Added
to these are her shoes in black and
white or black with other colore than
white, her "garden dresses" of cre
tonne, her odd-shaped and gayly-flow-ered
sunshades and bewitching sun
bonnets, or sun hats, made of cretonne
and other fabrics.
Belts are made both wldo and nar
row, and one ot numberless different
patterns Is shown In the picture. It Is
made ot thin black patent leather
bound with white kid. Slashes cut in
allow narrow bands of the kid to be'
slipped through them, forming white
Btrlpes on the black ground. By sim
ilar means many styles are created.
The belt. In this particular Instance,
Is worn with a blouse of white wash
Bilk made up Into a broad tan and
white stripe. It has long sleeves with
striped cuffs and a collar which turns
Veil Attached to Parasol.
A novelty of the season Is the para
sol with veil attached. Yes, the veil
is draped from the edge of the para
sol rather than from the hat. The ef
fect Is most unique, but one cannot
help wondering what will happen to
the veil when the parasol Is closed.
Ot course, one would be able to man
ago It at home, but suppose o.ie tried
to close It In a crowded shop. It
Is a same wager that the veil and the
owner's temper would be damaged in
the proceedug.
) W. ( if 1fVf
,V A 3
I L v I ' . ' ,v - v-f fit
.V, k ,;:' n V4
Fads of the Summer Girl
y ' ' 1
i ' - C " i i 1
i ''''
fcr the Bride
-
1
4
the force of Irresistible beauty.
A handsome lace,-bordered veil Is
pictured here, draped In mantilla fash
ion, caught with a spray of orange
blossom buds at each side, with a very
small cluster of the opened blossoms
among them. So many veils are ar
ranged In a cap on tho head that this
proves interesting as an exception,
tut rich lace should be simply ad
Justed, and the Idea suggested by
the mantilla drape might Be repeated
In the design of the bridesmaids'
gowns or In the costuming of the
pages or the flower girls.
While the bride allows the play of
her fancy to exploit new Ideas In her
wedding procession and leads the Im
agination of gues". to excursions In oth
er lands and times, the gown brings
them back to the day and hour by a
very loyal compliance with the rules
governing the regulation wedding at
tire of mere man. Hut there seems to
be no incongruity that Is displeasing
In this.
over at the back and terminates In
turned-back revers at the front. The
skirt Is a brown cloth with oddly
shaped pockets at each side. Far be
It from the summer girl to own a
pocketless coat or skirt for any sort
ot utility dress this year.
The small slides of gold or silver,
which are strung on a narrow band to
form a bracelet, bear the Initials ol
friends with whom she exchanges or
those who make her gifts for the
making up of this little ornament.
Every self-reliant summer girl will
manage her garden bat or her frivolous
little beach bonnet to suit herself. And
If they are fashioned by her own hands
so much the more to her credit. Gar
den dresses with wldo and floppy
brimmed hats to match, and a reticule
or bag made of the same material
which Is a flowered cotton of some
kind ore the lateBt and prettiest ol
all the fads of the happy-hearted girls
of today. They express her personal
ity in a way to charm all graver hearts
and warm them with the glow ol
spring. JULIA BOTTOM LEY.
To Clean Blankets.
To clean blankets or all-wool co
ntents, shave up half -a bar of any
good laundry soap, put In the tub and
half fill the tub with cold water. En
ter the articlefTto be cleaned, and let
soak for hours. Then rinse In water
containing four tablespoonfuls of am
monia. Do not wring. The articles
will be Just like new and will not
shrink.
Otters are used by the natives in
some parts ot India to catch fish,
(Conducted by the National Woman's
Christian Temperance Union.)
A RECENT CONVERT.
The announcement of his conver
sion to prohibition was made at exer
cises at the Franklin union in Boston
by ex-Governor Foss, who has been
three times elected chief executive of
the state of Massachusetts.
"I have been thinking that It's about
time for me to stop voting for tfie li
censed saloon," said Mr. Fosb. "So
long as I make it a rule to have my
superintendents and foremen dis
charge men who are addicted to
liquor, how inconsistent it is for me
to support an open saloon near my
manufacturing establishment, where
tbe men have to go back and forth
two or three times a day.
"This question of prohibition is a
very large one. It may be the most
Important social, political and moral
question of today. Certainly It Is an
economic question. From an econom
ic viewpoint, why shouldn't we have
national prohibition?
"Abraham Lincoln said: 'You can't
have a nation half slave and half
free.' We can't have a nation half
wet and half dry. It is Impossible per
fectly to enforce prohibition In a
state surrounded by liquor states.
"I believe national prohibition Is .in
the Interest of public health. In my
three years as governor of Massachu
setts I saw 20,000 or more people
locked up in this state and $5,000,000
a year appropriated for their support
They were there on acount of liquor,
mainly. It Is ridiculous to stand in
the way of this movement. The large
cities get a comparatively small fund
from licenses. Aside from every oth
er consideration, economically, we
here In America must come to na
tional prohibition."
PANAMA-PACIFIC EXHIBIT.
The per capita consumption of a'ico
holic liquor In non-problbltion Wis
consin and prohibition Kansas is
shown at the exhibit of the National
Woman's Christian Temperance union
at tbe Panama-Pacific exposition. A
hogshead having a sixty-four gallon
capacity represents the amount of liq
uor consumed per capita In Wisconsin,
and a tiny keg represents the amount
used in Kansas.
The large bronze Japanese bell in
this exhibit reminds one of the thou
sands of men who, giving up the habit
of smoking, contributed their pipes to
make this bell to commemorate tbe
work of Mary Allen West, a W. C. T. U.
missionary to Japan.
The boys are interested in "Pros
perity Statistics," showing, for in
stance, that there are twenty auto
mobiles to every one hundred farmers
in dry Kansas, while there is only one
to every one hundred farmers in wet
Missouri.
The famous Polyglot potltion, con
talning 7,000,000 signatures, which
was originated by Frances E. Willard
and has been presented to several
countries, is of historic value.
NORTH DAKOTA DEVELOPMENT.
Many interesting facts are being
brought out concerning the states that
havo been under prohibitory laws for
some years, that they may help and
encourage other states that are now
meeting the wet or dry issue and that
will at coming elections have the ques
tion to decide. The 1910 census shows
that prosperous development along
all lines In North Dakota is startling.
Not only did the population increase
80 per cent in the decade from 1900
to 1910, but her wealth increased 2S1.9
per cent, or from $225,166,751 in 1900
to 976.S14.205 in 1910; the value of
farm products increased 211 per cent,
or from $64,252,000 in 1900 to $220,000,
000 in 1910. Us live stock increased
in value in the same period 155 per
cent, probably a larger increase than
any other state. The crops Increased
234.4 per cent, or from $53,911,419 In
1900 to $180,279,872 In 1910, a per
centage exceeded by no other state.
North Dakota's agricultural wealth is
greater than that of the seven com
bined New England states. Her bank
doposlts from 1898 to 1913 Increased
by more than 1,000 per cent.
THE BETTER RISK.
"How the use of alcohol shortens
life" was one of the Interesting fea
tures of the discussion recently be
fore the Association of Life Insurance
Presidents at the Hotel Astor, New
York. Mr. Arthur Hunter, chairman
of a committee which studied the
cases of 2,000,000 policy-holders in an
investigation for 43 life insurance
companies Into the causes ot prema
ture deaths, said that alcohol played
a leadlnj role in hastening geath.
On the other hand, the Equity Life
Assurance company has passed
through three of its eleven years with
out the loss of a single life of a total
abstainer, although nine-tenths ot its
insured lives are total abstainers.
CLEANS THEM OUT.
"Alcohol," it is said, "will remove
stains from summer clothes." That is
true, but it also removes the summer
clothes, the spring, the autumn and
the winter clothes, not only from the
one who drinks it, but from the wife
and family as well. It removes the
household furniture, the eatables from
the pantry, the smiles from the face
of the wife, the laugh from the Inno
cent Hps of his children and the happi
ness out of his home. As a remover
of things alcohol has no equal.
WHY?
"Why do we levy taxes to support
widows and orphans and license the
murder ot husbands and fathers. It
lb reckoned that there are 865.000
whisky-made orphans in the United
States." White Ribbon Bulletin.
CALIFORNIA BLIND PIGS.
"Blind pigging is an occupation that
has been carried on with impunity In
nearly every county In this state," says
tbe Los Angeles Tribune. Yes, it is
peaking of tbe wet state of California.
SOUNDED LIKE BAD BREAK
Thourjh Anyone Who Knows Irishman
Will Know What Pat Meant
to Convey.
The talk at a dinner party having
turned to the subject of Inadvertently
making bad breaks, Congressman Jef
ferson M. Ivy of New York related
tn Incident about a party named Pat.
Sometime ago Pat was taken to a
hospital to be treated for an eye trou
ble. Eventually tho bandages Were
removed, but it wos several days be
fore the patient could distinguish the
adjoining scenery.
"How about It now, Pat?" Bald the
doctor coining Into the room one aft
ernoon. "Are the eyes improving
sny?"
"Shure, doctor, an' they are thot,"
was the glad response of Pat.
"That's good!" returned tho doctor.
"Can you see better; can you see the
nurse now?"
"Shuro, an' Ol can, sir," quickly
answered Pat. "Fulth, an' she gets
plainer and plainer lvery day." Phil
adelphia Telegraph.
Where Soap Is of No Use.
Lapland folk never speak of them
selves as Laplanders, or Laps; they
are the SamelaUh, they say, the un
known people, the people of whom no
one. knows anything, not even whence
they came.
If any mention Is made In their
presence of Norwegian, Swedish, Fin
nish or Russian Lapland, their feelings
are sorely wounded, for there In only
one tapland, they hold, and It Is their
land, the land of the Samelatsch.
These folk, as other folk, have their
whims and functes, their little peculi
arities, too.
They regard soap, for Instance, with
profound mistrust, and have no great
faith In washing; no fulth at all, In
deed, In wushlng In warm water.
As soon as a baby is born they bathe
It in cold water; and they bathe it
again, always In cold water, every day
until, should It live so long. It Is two
years old. Then the end conies.
The child Is pronounced clean for
life and has never another bath.
Modesty.
Apropos of a painting to which An
thony ComRtock had objected, accord
ing to the New Orleans State, George
Luke, the artist, said in New York;
"We are an overmodest people, al
most a prurient people, and Comstock
keeps tr)lng to make us worse.
"I know a lady who went Into a de
partment store t3 buy some underwear
the other day. A dark, romantic, hand
some man waited on her. Comstock
would have approved of the modest
way this man described his wares.
" i can show you, madam,' he said,
'some very choice bargains In undies
of all kinds nighties, combieB, knick
ers and chlms.' "
Desperate.
"There Is evidently something wronff
with your car." said the meddlesome
man, "but I don't know Just what it
Is."
"Don't let that bother yon," sn
swered the owner of the ear, who had
received about all the gratis advice ho
could ttiiiid. "I prefer to find out
what Is wrong wllji It myself, even If
I have to turn'a somersault Into a
ditch to get the information."
His Affection.
"What makes Hill such a croaker?"
"I believe It's because he's got a
frog In his throat."
Instead of calling a doctor, the self
made chap should send for a repair
man. If he is a strauger and wears side
whiskers look fur the "Joker" before
Investing.
Many a Fclf-made man appears to
have worked on plans of the political
architect.
The ruddlesome winter girl dislikes
the bot weather.
.
S.'S
Triply Protected
First, the inner container of paper,
next the big yellow carton, and
then, the outer wrapping of waxed
paper, sealed air-tight and dust
proof. Superior protection for the
Superior Corn Flakes
Postjoasties
These delightful flakes are made)
cf the finest white Indian Corn,
Eteam-cooked, daintily seasoned,
rolled and toastedcrisp and golden-brown.
Post Toastics reach you fresh and
delicious, perfectly protected and
ready to eat. They are mighty
good with milk or cream, or with
ariy kind of fruit.
"The Memory Lingers"
old by Qrocara art rrywhaf.
Summer Luncheons
B- inajiffy Mil
fl Lt Libby't plendid chefs relieve you I
JT , ol bot-wfathei cooking. Slock the
pantry - alielf with
frlltt n.:J nt
and the oilier good summer
meals includios Libbv
Vienna Sausage you II find liiea
Iresh and appetizing.
Libby, McNeill &
Libby, Chicago
liljimii
LADIES!!
USE GILBERT'S
JEWEL
TALCUM POWDER
The Talcum of Quality, for refined
people; Perfume rk-u, lai-tlng, and ex
quisli; fowilur of velvety Uuenesa.
la Class Jara- 15c. and 25c
8M l; all drultrs. -MADE
BY
GILBERT BROS, & CO.
BALTIMORE. MD.
LADIES
KYST0 VANISHING CREAM IS FREE
H It dot not pletM you. Oivet a ptrftet compli
ion (Qruseiess). No powder necessary. Send 55
cent in Damp (or larga paekige If you ar not
plenied with it w SEND YOUR MONEY BACK
Ordnr NOW; thi ad mny not appear again.
H. Kirk VS bite Co- 12 Hem Place, OcoaoawwotWia,
DAISY FLY KILLER ? -TSffi 5
DanMiita4,onniML
i obMp. Lasts
m t 1 , k t ep 1 1 1 or tl 9
orti will not Mil ot
I njaro oajtaiac
Uaeranlood efforttvo.
Alltlr orefit
iprM paid for ii.ea
SAX OLD loa.LM.lia D Kalft .. BrMtlra, . I.
PATEHTSK
liss R.Calrmaa.Waals.
n. u v. Huuk.iim. M imd
art rumoota, JJsat nauiia,
W. N. U.. BALTIMORE. NO. 28-1915.
She Objected.
"I certainly shall not give you a
recommendation. You have disgraced
us."
"In whnt way, madam? Hasn't my
work always been satisfactory?"
"Your work has been all right. It's
the reasons for your leaving me tbat
I object."
"I don't understand."
"Then I'll explain. I've had servants
leave me to get married, and because
they were needed at home, and be
cause they found pleasant employment
at summer resorts, but yon nre ac
tually quitting to get more money
tluin I can afford to pay. What will
my friends think when they know
that?' I et roit Free Press.
At the Wrong Desk.
Callor (in newspaper office) Hello,
old man! Anything new today?
Paragrapher Well, I'm surprised.
And bo many free schools In this coun
try, too!
Caller -Why, what do you mean?
Paragrapher The Idea of any man
possessing ordinary Intelligence com
ing Into the humorous department and
asking if there is anything new.
Comparisons.
"I have a tireless cooker."
"1 have a smokeless husband." Hal
tlmore American.
That $100,000 golf game will put
somebody In a hole.
7
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