THE FULTON COUNTY NEWS, McfcONNELLSBURG, PA.
frhe Gifts
That
Failed
By
GEORGE ADE
bouuleday, fua A Co.)
II. SIDNEY PAYSON was
lyT I full of tbe bitterness of
I I Christmas-tide. Mr. Pay
j I I son was the hind of man
who loved to tell invalids
that tney were not look
ing as well as usual, and
wbo frightened young hus
bands by predicting that
meld regret having married. Ho
J, put the soul of approval on any
L undertaking. It was a matter
Kwitn bun tnai no never iauea
the sinister motive far the act
other people applauded. Some
L pious friends unud to say thut
lad got the upper nana wun
jt there were others who lndl
that it might bo bile.
1.1 of the seething wrath and the
of humllatlon with which Mr.
y Payson set about his Clirlnt
iJopping! In, tho Unit pluce, to
uopplng for ChriHtmas presents
most conventional thing that
U could do, and Mr. Puyson
conventionalities. For another
L (be giving of Christmas pres
umed with it some testimony or
ha, snd Mr. Payson regarded
ijplay of affection as one of the
lymptoms of barbarous taste.
u could have assembled hie rela-
it t Christmas gathering and
U i few old family wounds, re
b bis brother and his two sls-
iomu of their youthful follies,
ilamlng them before tho chll
Kr. Sidney Payson might have
Led to make out a rather merry
us. Instead of that, he wae
kned to go out and purchase
ud bo aB cheaply ldotic as tho
retched mortals with whom he
mg carried along. No wonder
a chafed and rebelled and vainly
Htbat be could bang crepe ou
Christmas tree In tho universe.
Sidney Payson hated his tank
swas puzzled by It. After wan-
b through two stores and looking
.'0 windows be had been unable
hit one selection. It seemed to
at all the articles offered for
ere singularly and uniformly in
nate. The custom of giving
ilarce In Itself, and the Btorefceep-
:1 done what they could to make
ikenlng travesty,
o ahead and buy a lot of things
hazard," he said to hlniaelf. "I
ire a hang whether they are ap-
rite or not."
iit moment ho had an lnsplra
It was an inspiration which
ive come to no one eicept Mr.
rFayson. It promised a speedy
and Henry James ai you can possibly
get."
"Here is a book that all the girls in
the store say Is very good." replied
the young woman. "It Is called 'Vlr
gie's Eetrothal; or The Stranger at
Blrchwood Manor.' It's by Imogens
Sybil Dcauclerc."
"If It'e what It sounds to be, It'i )uat
what I wont," said Payson, showing
his teeth at the young woman with a
devilish glee. "You say the girls here
In the store like It?"
"Yes; Miss Simmons, In the handkerchief-box
department, says It's Just
grand."
"Hal AH right, 111 take It,"
He felt his happiness rising as he
went through the store. The Joy shone
In his face as be stood at tbe skate
counter.
"I have a brother who is forty-six
years old and rather fat," he said to
the salesman. "I don't suppose he's
been on the tco In twenty five years.
Ho wears a No. 9 shoe. Give me a
pair of skates for him."
A few minutes litter he stood at tl e
silk counter.
"What are those things?" he asked.
pointing to si mo gnyly colored silks ,
folded In boxes.
"Those are ec i fs." i
"Well, If you'vo got one that has all
the colors of the rt-lnbow In It, I'll take
it 1 want one with lots of yellow and
red and green in It. I want something
that you can hear across tho street.
You sro, I have a sister who prides
herself on her quiet taste. Her cos
tumes are marked by what you call
'unobtrusive elegance.' I think she'd
rather die than wear ono of those
thlngH, so I war.t the biggest and
nolsest one In the wholo lot."
Tho girl didn't know what to make
of Mr. Payson's strnnge remarks, but
she was too busy to bo kept wonder
Ing.
Mr. Tayson's sister's husband is the
president of a church temperance so
ciety, so Mr. Payson bought him a
buckhorn corkscrew.
Thero was one more present to buy.
"Let me see," said Mr. Payson.
"What Is there that could be of no
earthly use to a girl of six years old?"
Even as he spoke his eye fell on a
sign: "I!argaln sale of neckwear."
"I don't believe she would care for
cravats," ho suld. "I guess I'll buy
some for her."
Ho saw a box of cravats marked "25
cents each."
"Why are those so chenp?" he asked.
'-Well, to tell tho truth, they're out
of stylo."
"That's good. I want eight of them
oh, any eight will do. I want them
for a small niece of mlno a little girl
about six years old."
Without Indicating the least sur
prise, tho salesman wrapped up tbe
cravats.
have been, and whether It would not
have been better after alt. I am afraid
that I am writing this like a senti
mental school girl, but you must know
that I have been reading your charm
ing little book, and It has come to me
as a message from you. Is It not real
ly a confession, Sidney? You have
made me very happy, dear brother, I
feel more closely drawn to you than at
any time since we were all together
at Christmas, at the old home. Corns
and see me. Your loving sister,
"OKRTKUDB."
"Dear Brother: Creotlnc' to yon
from the happiest household In town,
thanks to a generous Santa Claus la
the guise of Uncle Sidney. I must be
gin by thanking you on my own ac
count. How In the world did you learn
that Roman colors had come In again?
I have always heard that men did not
follow the styles and could not be
trusted to select anything for a wom
an, but It Is a llbftl, a base llbol, for
the scarf which you sent is quite tho
most beautiful thing I have received
tb!a Christmas. I have it drapod over
tho large picture In the parlor, and It
Is tho envy of every one who has been
In today. A thousand, thousand thanks,
dear Sidney. It was perfectly sweet
of yon to remember me, and I call it !
nothing lets thun a stroke of genius to
think of anything so appropriate and
yet so much out of tho ordlnnry.
"John asks me to thank you but I
must toll you the story. One evening
last week we had a little chafing-dish
party after prater meeting, and I
asked John to open a bottlo of olives
for mo. Well he broke the small blade
of his knire trying to get the cork
out. He said: 'If I live to get down
town again, I'm going to buy a cork-
l A Vision of the!
Glorified !
Br REV. L W. COSNFLL .
1', Aakul lo tlx Dmi. Moodr BUt InuoU i
0)
"I'll Take Them."
"hopping hardships. It guaran
a Christmas to his own
r Wan hmtnt lt fftirUu jtnotnm in
wUtmas nresents for his rola-
He had promised hia sister that
'"U. remember every one In the
But he was under no obligation
DrPRpnta ttrlilnh wnillrl hfl wnl-
r hy not give to each of his rol-
l"wrne present which would be
r UBplnna Innnnrnnrlnrn nnd
f3ou8? It would serve them right
giving him In the childish per-
-"Cfl nf tho riirK-Jn.no oonunn It
N IW I hnrloomia nn iha avhnlA
'Icallty of Christmas giving. It
Irritate and puzzle his relatives
'Miably deepen their hatred of
t any rate, It would be a satire
" "7 tradition, and thank good
J" Wouldn't be conventional.
Sidney Payson went Into the
Apartment etore and found him
' book counter.
Ju any work which would be
. .vi an eiueny geiuiemun ui
L habits and deep religious con-
be asked.
L? b here the works of Flavlus
L" la two volumes," replied the
r Woman
I'll Int. thorn " ha aalrf.
I'M them for my nephew Fred. He
siories."
t""algiri looked at him wonder
V . . . ..
v icu, i want a love story.
K. . '"son. "i nave a maiaen
P ana presiaent or a kubkio
Write nsanva nhnut Bud-
Win ant t0 &lvo ner a boolt
t - aoout a girl named Mabel
a,? l0Td by Sir Hector Something
s Clva me a book that Is full
nVinl kleses and heaving bos-
C i that sort of rot Get Just
'? from Ibsen and Howells
Letters received by Mr. Sidney Pay
son In acknowledgment of his Christ
mas presents:
"Dear Brother: Pardon me for not
having acknowledged the receipt of
your Christmas present. Tho fact Is
that slnco the skates came I have been
devoting so much of my time to the
re acquiring of one of my early accom
plishments that I have not had much
time for writing. I wish I could ex
press to you the delight I felt when I
opened the box and saw that you had
sent mo a pair of skates. It wae Just
as If you had said to mo: 'Will, my
boy, somo people may think you are
getting on In years, but I know that
you're not.' I suddenly remembered
that the presents which I have been
receiving for several ChrlstmaBes were
Intended for nn old man. I have re
ceived eaHy-chalrs, slippers, mufflers.
enioklng-Jackcts, and the like. When I
received the pair of skates from you I
felt that twenty years had boen lifted
from my shoulders. How In the world
did you ever happen to think of them?
Did you really believe that my skating
days wero not over? Well, they're not
I went to tho pond In tho park on
Christmas day and worked at It for
two hours and I had a lot of fun. My
ankles were rather weak and I fell
down twice, but without hurting my
self, managed to go through the mo
tions, and before I left I skated with
a peach cf a pretty girl Well, Sid, I
owe this renewal of my youth to you.
Thank you many times, and believe
me to be. as ever, your affectionate
brother. WILLIAM."
"Dear Brother: The secret Is out I
suspected it all the time. It is need
less for you to ofTer denial Some
times when you have acted the cynio
t hnva almost believed that you were
sincere, but each time I have been re
lieved to observe something In you
which told me that underneath your
assumed Indifference there was a
genlnl current of the romantic senti
ment of tho youth and the lover. How
can I be In doubt after receiving a
liitia hook a love story?
"I knew, Sidney dear, that you would
remember mo at Christmas. You have
always been tho soul of thoughtful
ness. especially to those of us who un
derstood you. 1 must, howevor. con
fess that I expected you to do the
deadly conventional thing and send
me something heavy and serious. I
knew It would be a book. All of my
friends send me books. That's what
comes of being president of a literary
club. But you are the only one, Sid
ney, who had the rare and kindly Judg
ment to nppeal to the woman and not
to tho club president Because I am
Interested In a serious literary move
ment It need not follow that I want my
wholo life to bo overshadowed by the
giants of the kingdom of lotters. Al
though I would not daro confess It to
Mrs. Peabody or Mrs. Hutchens, there
are times when I like to spond an aft
ernoon with an old-fashioned love
story. You are a bachelor. Sidney, and
as for mo. I have long since ceased to
blush at the casual mention of 'old
maid.' It was not for ua to know the
bittersweet experiences of courtship
and marriage, and you will remember
that we have sometimes pitied the
headlong Infatuation of sweethearts,
and have felt rather euporlor In our
freedom. And yet, Sidney. If we chose
to be perfectly candid with each other.
I dare say that both of us would con
fess to having known something about
.t.ii. nn rail love. We might
IDUl HUltu ...
confess that we had felt Its subtle In
fluence, at times ana pint.. -
a stirring uneasiness, as one detects a
draft We might go so far as to ad
mit that sometimes we pause In our
lonely lives and wonder what might
ill
It Would Be Useless to Dwell Upon
the Reflections of Mr. Sidney Pay
son. screw.' Fortunately he had neglected
to buy one, and so your gift soemed to
como straight from Providence. John
Is very much pleased. Already he has
found a ueo for It, as It happened
that ho wanted to open a bottle of
household ammonia the very first
thing this morning.
"As for Fred's lovely books thank
goodness you didn't send him any
more story books. John and I have
bcon trying to Induce him to take up
a more serious line of reading. The
Joseplius ought to help him In the
study of his Sunday school leseons.
Wo were pleased to cbserve that be
read It for about an hour this morn
ing. "When you were out here last fall
did Genevieve tell you that sho was
collecting silk for a doll quilt? She
Insists that she did not, but she must
have dono so, for how could you have
guessed that she wants pieces of silk
above anything else In the world? Fred
and Genevieve send love and kisses.
John Insists that you come out to din
ner some Sunday very soon next Sun
day If you can. After we received your
presonta we were ' quite ashamed of
the box we had sent over to your
hotel, but we will try to make up the
difference In heart felt gratitude. Don't
forgot any Sunday. Your loving sis
ter. ' KATHEMNE."
It would be useless to dwell upon
the reflections of Mr. Sidney Payson
after he received these letters.
Veteran Pastor's Prayer.
Father In Heaven, take the twists
out of us; the snarls; the unsuspect
ed crookedness; tbe moral ugliness
that carves bad lines In our faces when
we least: suspect It . . . Make us
gentle, considerate, full of compassion
ate longing Instead of fierce condem
nation. Make us swift to help, with
out If or but. Show us tho real val
ues under t'.ie surface of even disor
derly lives, and make us glad these
values are there. Keep us from de
Bplslng people even the debased, or
neighbors who tread on our toes. Root
out of us the subconscious feeling
that we are necessarily the good peo
ple, and that all who differ from us
are faulty. Lead ua out Into the Joy
ous, appreciative, easy, helpful ways
which shone In Jesus' life.
Guides to 8uccess.
In picking out your career, consider
the things you like to do, the things
you can do best 3o gave you these
aptitudes, and they are to be followed,
not fought; though you may have to
serve a long apprenticeship In doing
things you don't like before you can
wing out fully Into doing the things
you do.
Do what yon can d best
Go where you are most needed.
Start In anywhere; only get busy
and keep busy.
But don't be Impatient God often
takes a long time to get his servants
ready. Christian Herald.
However we choose to mark ihh
greatest day of the yen, there ts
this one thing that each one of us
might, and ought to dothat is lo
celebrate It in childlikencss of spirit
TEXT-lIls orvnt "hull serve him:
and they nlmll in hia fnfe; and hia name
hall be in their fori'hnmU. Hvv. I'JiS, 1
The Illble tells littlo of tho Intor
mediato state. The early Christians
looked not for
death, but for
tho coming of the
Lord. Truo, thoso
who are with
Christ are in a
blissful state, rest
ing from tholr
labors, "at home
with tho Iord"
and enjoying the
sweets of Para
dlso (Phil. 1:23:2,
Cor. 0:8 It. V.
margin; II Cor.
12:4). But "mun
was made for cor
poreity" and will not reach perfection
until clothed with a glorllled body. The
text exhibits somo privileges of the
finally redeemed who will dwell In
"the holy city, now Jerusalem."
Service.
"ills servants shull serve him." The
common Idea of heaven Is as a place
of rest, and It will be so. Earth Is
full of weary one, and the millions
who follow Iluildhlsm, with its teach
ing of annihilation as tho final blessed
ness, are evidence of the craving for
rest. But heaven may be a pluce of
rest and of servlco too. Says Mac
laren: "Work at its intensest, which
Is plcusurnblo work and level to tbo
capacity of the doer, Is the truest form
of rest. In vacuity there are stings
and torments: it is only In Joyous ac
tivity which Is not pushed to tho ex
tent of strain and unwholesome effort
thut the true rent of mail is to be
found."
What will tho servlco be? Those
who are faithful over a few things
will be m ud e rulers over many. In
"th regeneration," tho apostles will
sit on thrones. Judging the 12 tribes
of Isrnel (Matt. 1:2S); and we hear
of saints who will rule over live cities
or ten (Luke 19): this seems to point
to millennial times, when the glori
fied will share the government of
earth. Again, Ephealans 2:7 shows
we have been saved "that in tho ages
to come ho might show tho exceeding
riches of his grace In his kindness to
ward us through Christ Jesus." Won
dering angels will magnify tho grace
of God in us One of large vision
says, "We know not what new worlds
may be created, what new spheres
may be opened for the exercise of the
rowers of thoso who shall reln In
Hie.
"Ills servants shall do him priestly
service," Is the literal meaning of the
phrase before us. While it will bo all
wrk, it will be all worship. It will
be tbe happy estuto of Mary and
Martha combined. Work will be wor
ship and worship will be work, yet In
both we shall rest, sitting at Jesus'
feet.
Vision.
"They' shall see his face." This
seems to contradict somo scriptures
which tell us man will never see God.
True, In a sense we can never seo
fiod. God Is a spirit and cannot bo
Been corporeally: we may never be
hold more than a symbol of him, as
Stephen saw "tho glory of God," yet
this would not preclude our knowing
him, for "spirit w ith spirit canjneet"
Moreover, wo shall not see God In
the seuso of finding him out to per
fection; ho Is Inflate and we shall
have always before us tbe Joy of dis
covery. But while this Is true, we shall see
Jesus, who said, "lie that hath seon
me hath seen the Father." He is tho
word by whom God Is revealed. We
see now through a glaHS darkly, but
then, fuce to face. Wo would not min
imize the work of the Holy Ghost In
us, revealing Christ, but the early
Christians longed to behold tbo face
of their Lord: tholr cry was. "Even so,
some, Lord Jesus."
Knowing aa I am known.
How shull I love that word.
And oft repeat before the throne
Forever with the Lord."
Likeness.
"His name shall be In thoir fore
heads." This speaks of ownership.
But It suggests likeness, too, for In
Scripture the namo stands for mani
fested character; we shall have God's
image stamped upon us. Wo soek to
be holy now, but there we shall have
attained. "We shall be liko him."
There Is no sin In heaven:
riehold that happy thronif,
All glorious in their apotleaa robea.
All holy In their sone!
"Our light affliction, which Is but for
a moment, worketh for us a far more
exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
while we look not at the things which
are seen, but at the things which are
not seen: for the things which are
seen are temporal; but the things
which are not. seen are eternal. For
we know that If our earthly house of
this tabernacle were dissolved, we
have a building of God, a house not
made with hands, eternal in the heav
ens" (II Cor. 4:17-6:1).
mkmtional
Lesson
(By E. O. 8KM.KHS, Ai tliiK Director of
Humluy Muhool Cou. ..)
LESSON FOR DECEMBER 27
Where Love Is, There Is God.
Thoughts that disturb and trouble us
seldom come from God. It Is generally
best to put them away, and throw our
self, with Increased truBt In him and
mistrust of self, at his feet. And never
forget, amid whatever may befall you
dryness, coldness, desolation and
disaDDolntment, consciousness of many
I faults, and of great weakness and want
1 of faith that where love Is there God
' Is sure to bo. He never yet has suf
fered any soul to fall wholly from him
i which, amid all its frailties and falls
clings to hlra in love. H. L. Sidney
Lear.
ALL THEY COULD HOPE FOR
JESUS, THE WORLD'S SAVIOR AND
KING.
(Review.)
KKAIMNO LKBHON II Cor. t.H it
OOI.DKN TEXT Kur he It from me to
Klory. wive In the eroaa of oir l.ord June
t'hrlHt.- flnl. 6:14 It. V.
With the exception of the temper
ance losson, all the lessons of tho quar
ter have to do with the dcuth and res
urrection of our liord. In the first
quarter we considered Jesus as the
great Teacher; In the second, he is
presented chiefly as the seeking
Savior: In the third, we obtierved him
as ho acted In Judgment upon Isrnel
and sin: In this last, ho Is seen in nis
supreme office an Savior and king. The
king of lovo, ho Is ulso the worlds
Savior. Deny him his kingship, refuse
to become a subject of that kingdom
of which he In the head and we bring
upon ourselves tho condemnation of a
righteous Judgment. This past quar
ter particularly reveals him In that
final ministry which resulted In tho
Initiation of tho new enterprise of pro
claiming his gospel, to the end that
his kingdom shull bo established. We
shall consider the lessons under four
headings:
Story of Love.
I. Those of Preparation for His Pas
sion. These einbraco tho first threo
lessonB. (1) In the first we huve the
beautiful story of the love which
anointed him for burial, which he ac
cepted nnd immortalized. This was
not because of the greotness of the
act, but because of tho appreciation of
himself and of his words. (2) Hero
we observe him presiding over and In
stituting that lasting memorial, the
symbolic foast, wherein tho old passes
away and the new dispensation Is
ushered In. (3) In tho third lesson we
view with awe the agony of tho gar
den wherein ho dedicated himself to
the coming suffering, "Not as I will,
but as thou wilt" absolute surrender
and delight In the Father's will.
II. Those That Preceded His Pas
sion. Theee next five lessons leud us
through those dark shadows, yea,
through a darkness which Is yet un
fathomablo and which ended In tho
total darkness of Calvary. (I) In this
lesson Judas Is presented, tho Incarna
tion of evil, and the agent of Satan,
who betrayed his Ixird and "Friend"
by a kiss. Hero we bco the utter ruin
of a soul which chose prlvato ambition
Instead of fellowship with Jesus. (6)
This is a presentation of tho greatest
and most appalling travesty of Justice
the world has ever seen. Humanity
never descended to any lower depths,
yet he is serene, calm, dignified and
strong. (6) The Temperanco lesson.
(7) This lesson considers tho heart
breaking rashness of Peter. (8) This
Is the story of the Ignoble failure of a
weak, vacillating, time-server. Pilate's
conscience was keenly alive, yet nt
last, that he might savo himself and
retain his position of power, he gavo
Jesus over to tho hatred nnd malice of
bis enemies by ordering him to be
crucified.
Story of the Cross.
III. His Passion. (9) This brings
us to the story of the cross Itself, as
considered in this sequence of lessons,
lleforo thnt awe-inspiring, wonder
creating event wo stund with bared
bend. Hero sin was unmasked and did
its utmost. Her also we behold grnco
unveiled and active.
IV. The Post-Passion Lessons. We
nro now In a new atmospnero ana
light, a new glory is to bo seen. (10)
In this lesson we behold tbo empty
tomb, for "Ho could not be holden of
death." We share with them the glori
ous, the Joyful consciousness that he
whom we have Just seen die In ig
nominy and shame and Buffering is
now alive and "ever liveth" to be our
advocate and ever-present friend. This
Is a glorious fact, that of the literal,
bodily resurrection of Christ from
among the dead. Hallelujah! (11) In
lesson eleven this tame thought Is
again emphasized end with the sugges
tion of its accompanying obligation, In
that "we are witnesses of theso
things." These first disciples re
ceived their great commission and
were told how In Infinite grace the
Savior and king first of all calls his
followers Into fellowship with him
self before they are sent out to curry
on thoso enterprises which aro the
fruit of his death and resurrection.
(12) In this is found the bleBscd record
of Uioso lust words of blm who
"shewed himself alive after his pas
Blon by many Infalllblo proofs, being
see'n of them forty days, and speuklng
of tho things concerning tho kingdom"
(Acts 1:3). Here Is not alone tho un
questioned certainty of the resurrec
tion of Christ from the dead, but the
record of his present placo "In the
heavenlles," whither he ascended to
bo with tho Father, and also the glo
rtous hope of his coming again "In like
manner as ye saw him ascending."
Bodily ho left this earth, bodily and
"In great glory" he Is to return. Praise
his name!
In "Tarbell's Teuchers' Guide" Is a
good suggestion for review Sunday,
vis., that a series of elliptical phruse
be written upon a board or chart, that
will fix the chief idea or serve to re
call the lessons, as follows:
(1) Let her alone ... (2) Foi
ye have the poor ... (3) Where
soever this gospel shnll be preached
. . . (4) Verily I say unto you,
One . . 1&) For the Son of Man
gooth ... (6) This Is my blood
... (7) Take yo . . . (8) My
soul Is . . . (9) Father, all things
. . . (10) Watch and . . . (11)
My God, my . . . (12) Why seek
ye . . . (13) Ye shall bo my . . .
These phrases may bo written upon
cards or slips of paper and distributed
to classes or Individuals, the entire
sentence to be recited whou called for.
Under the Circumstances Almost End
less Entertainments Should Have
Been In Order,
There Is a certain Chicago man of
a remarkably cheerful and optimistic
turn qt mind. Ills who, on tho other
band, takes things very seriously, and
hus no small difficulty In accommo
dating herself to the peculiarities of
her friends when, as not Infrequently
happens, they differ from her own.
"Henry," said sho to her husband
one evening, when she had retumed
home more or less agitated by some
thing. "What do you think they say
about Mrs. Katou, tho baker's wife?"
"I'm sure I don't know," said the
hustmud. "Nothing serious, I hopo."
"They say they can tell when sho's
going to have callers by her washing
the chiluren's faces! Now, you're
a pretty sanguine man, Henry, but
what on earth can you hopo for a
woman like that?"
"Well," suld Henry, "I suppose all
we can hope for Is that she entertains
a good deal."
Torn ow:t pitronuT wm. rrt.i. yoc
Try Miiririo Pyo Hmwlr f"r ll1. VWiil. Waierf
Krta Mild (irunulat.it K)rt!l1; No hummi.it
IiihI K) rmiirnrt. Write li.r H-'h of lite Kfl
bi luail k'rtu. Murine Ku lii'u.ti; l't thlm"
His Wife's Ways.
isn't your wife a clipper?"
"She's more. She's a revenue-cutter!"
Judge.
Important to Mother
Examine, curetully every bottlo o(
CA8TOK1A, a safe and sure remedy for
Infants und children, and see that It
Bears tbo
Signature
In Use For Over 30 Years.
Children Crj for Fletcher! Castoria
Appreciation.
Tho governor's wifo was telling
Bridget about her husband.
"My husband, Bridget," sho sold,
proudly, "Is at the head of tho state,
ifillltla."
"01 thought as much, ma'am," said
Bridget, cheerfully; "ain't he got th'
folne malicious look!"
At the First Signs
Of falling hair get Cutimra. It
Works wonders. Touch spots of dnn
drufT nnd Itching with Cuticuia Oint
ment, and follow next morning with a
hot shampoo of Cuticura Soap. This
nt onco arrests falling hnlr anil pro
motes hair growth. For free samplo
each with 32 p. Skin Book, uddress
post card: Cuticura, Dept. X, Boston.
Sold everywhere. Adv.
Starting Too High.
"You told me beforo I married you
that my slightest wish would bo grati
fied." "So I did, my dear, but I bad no
Idea at thut time thnt your slightest
wish would bo a limouslno."
Lizzie Would Stay.
Mrs. Atwell had had a quarrel with
her maid, Lizzie, and the maid re
marked that she would leave.
"Lizzie," said the mlstrc-s, severe
ly, "you must stay until I get unotber
girl."
'I Intend to, mum," said Lizzie.
"Shure It's only right somo wnn should
(nil her the kind of a woman ye are."
Overheard by Mr. Mills.
At lunch, a Western Union ofllce
girl was reading a letter from a chum
to tho other girls. Describing n new
dress tho letter said: "It Is certain
ly fin do sleele."
"Fin do sickle," repeated one of tho
girls, "what does that mean?"
"I don't know. Fin sounds liko a
fish. Maybe It means It was trimmed
with fish net." New York Sun.
Her Collateral.
"Kxcuso me," said Bridget, putting
her bend In at tho cashier's window,
"but do 01 undhersthnnd (hot ye; lind
money hero on character?"
"Why yes," hesitated tho cashier.
"Thin Ol d lolko fiftx, dhollnrs, sorr,
on molno," said Bridget, producing a
number of greasy references. "They's
alvln uv thlm from mo previous im
plyers " I
But tho cashier had fled. The Idea
of explaining the Intrlcucles of col
latcrul to a lady with seven charac
ters was too appalling. Judge.
Their Trouble.
A member of tho board of educa
tion, serving as cholrman of tho board
of superintendents, wos In need of a
teacher, and ho wanted a certain wom
an whom ho know had passed tho ex
amination satisfactorily, but who for
somo reason had not yet been as
signed. In bis Indignation he call id
up tbe oflice of tbe board an I in a
Bhnrr, Impatient volco asked:
"What Is the matter with the
board of superintendents, anywny?"
"Tho trouble with the board of su
perintendents," came tho slowly
drawled reply, "Is thut they take them
selves too seriously. They forget that
God made them Just for tho fun of It."
New York E,-iing Post.
Not Quite the Same.
A youth was employed In a business
house a few years ago where the as
sistants had their mealB supplied by
their employer, who deducted a cor
tain amount each week from their
wages to defray the cosl of the food.
The assistants were not satisfied with
their meals, and one day the house
keeper, highly Incensed at ,the re
marks passed by the youth and his
fellow-sufferers concerning the scar
city of food on the dinner table, re
ported the matter to tho principal,
with the result that the young fellow
was invited the next day to a free
lecture by his employer, who began:
"I hear that you were one of those
who complained about what was pro
vided for dinner yesterday?"
"Oh. no, air!" came the unexpected
reply. "You heard wrongly. What I
complained about was what was not
provided."
Fatima Cigarettes
-mild, delightful Turkish-Blend.
The
choicest of leaf al
ways a pure and
wholesome smoke
always satisfactory.
"Distinctively Individual"
tor
20 jmQ
r M . T r- a
a rHiktii
tf M? f.1 MM LI. S.ti
pb ate
Icon RESPOND FORI
I NEWSPAPERS I
EfSto&t wfeklymidedurlnf ! time; rood B
a.laljafaWB. riu lar Im avucalaia. Q
I BOUTHrM 0YKDICATM
y Oo- WfltlHftim, 0. C.
inuBa
IlKUiO,
OMYCrJTV V.jj F. Toletr
rDI Ell I al l'atrni lawyer," wl.wit
" W lie. AilvKr.rthrmi
SaU. traauiiatik. II l( brat rWertmta. t awMt
a a l.lt.-n wa ham hal ant
wflftfll't I' '"" aimr imI iir a"
"' -eilrul.-J. rin l..r parttro ara.
National Blclaltj & . " liw, Wlmi-u,a, U 0
itl.DMK hnitiii a. Il.r avrr offurad. HtiiS
l;- htr a.iniplr ef tiur apti-lal l"f ruarnnt.rS
Ilk II' unci vriiM'llt.n ll, A II. NoVtLl X
I .. HOX 4:. Mill X 1 1 TV. IOWA.
- -'J
At the Front
"I havo enlisted as a chauffeur.
"Well, my boy drive your car like
a man nnd a soldier."
"Kni her, I'M spill my last drop ol
gasolinu In defence ol ray couuuy."
Visible Proof,
"(iublclgh's wife is deaf and
dumb."
"Does she talk with her fingers?"
"I guess so. C'lublelgh hasn't a do
en hnlrs left on his head."
Its Development.
"How does a language grow?"
"I should supposo from the roots
of the words."
The wise young man keeps on ths
right side of his rich old undo wbo Is
deaf In bis left ear.
EVERY HORSE OWNER
SHOULD KEEP A BOTTLE OF
YAGER'S
TWa la Nothing Jul al Good Fot
SPAVIN CALLS
SWEENY SPRAINS
WOUNDS SCRATCHES
SWELLINGS COLLAR BOILS, As.
POME TESTIMONY!
"I nnhtKitnlingly pronounce Yager's
Liniment the most wonderful Home
Liniment 1 huve ever used. Have
been handling ami training horses for
speed for twenty years anil have had
hundreds of diilerent brantts of .o
cnlleil horse remeilin. 1 wish your
Yager's Liniment the large sale it so
well deserves, and recommend It
most highly."
13. L. Tl'FT, Salem, N.J.
tlrlrar and Tralurol Wm. Fmn.
Iwwu.1. V
LAKC.E HOTTI.E, S5C at Uoalore
l'riirxl by
Gilbert Bros. & Co., he.
BALTIMORE, MD.
TRIM BOTTLE FRtt.
Wrtl. lor It and imntioo thla parr. AdilrMS
A. C MCVCK 4 CO BALTIMOKB. MU
FOR OLD AND YOUNG
TuU' Liver PHI. ecto kindly on the chlia,
I h dellcat. female or infirm old age. Po
1 nil's Pills
flv.lrma and atrenvth to the weak .toroai.ll.
trawcla, kin"- p"i niaaucr..
rn- LILLEY PILE REMEDY tTfU
. funded. iK-hlntr. llliM-dln.. or pro- . it
irudlnf fil. C U an , aw ld imuo, M.
W. N. U., BALTIMORE. NO. 62-1914.
"IS YOUR BABY CONSTIPATED?"
Habjr'1 bowel. mu.t be regulated properly and by nllcine that la aafe.
Dr. Fahrney's Teething Syrup
Ha. proved Ittrlf mother, know It and liable. Uie h. Uaed in loo.aoo
American home.. Prevent Utolera lnianlum. Ut lor bowel eom
plaint.. Cure, t.olic In ten minutei. $1 cent al drufgut. .rial botll
h" " rSWtirri). fahrney son. vumm ito