ILLUSTRATIONS
COPYRIGHT 1908 y THE
COPYRIGHT J900 ty THE
SYNOPSIS.
Count dl Roalnl, thn ItnMnn nmtms
ailor, I ft dinner with diplomat when
a messenger summon, him to the em
bassy, where a beautiful young woman
KKha for a ticket to the enibusay ball.
Tim tlrket la made out In the name, of
Mini Isubel Thorne. Chief Campbell of
the seiret ervl'e, and Mr. Orltnm, hla
bond detective, are warned that a plot la
brerlng In Washington, and (Irlnini goea
(o the atnte ball for Informiitlon. Hla at
tention t called to MIhi Isabel Thorne.
who with her companion, dlauppeur. A
lut la heard and Henor Alvarei of the
M-xlran legation, la found wounded.
Orlnim la assured Mlaa Thorne did It; he
visit her, dtmundlng knowledge of the
affair, and arrest Pletro I'etrozliinl. Mlaa
Thorne vlalta an old bomb-maker, and thy
dlarnaa a wonderful experiment. Kitty
thousand dollara la atolen from the office
of Snnor Rodrlguei, the mlnlater from
Veneiuela, and while deteotlvea are In
vestigating the robbery Mlaa Thorne ap
pear ai a guest of the legation. Grimm
arcuiea her of the theft; the money I
reatored. but a new mystery occur In
lh disappearance of Monsieur Bolaaegtir
the Kronen ambaaaador. Elualve Mlaa
Thorn reuppeara, bearing a letter which
ta'ea thai the ambassador haa been kid
naped and demanding ransom. The am
buaador returna and again strangely dis
appear. Later he la rescued from an old
house In the suburbs. It la discovered
that Pletro I'rtroalnnl ihot Senor Alvarei
and that he la Prince d'Abrusal. Orlmm'
flKurea In a mysterious Jail delivery. He
order both Mlaa Thorne and d'Ahruiil
to leave the country; they are conveyed
to Nw York and placed on a steamer
but return.
CHAPTER XX (Continued.)
"Your paper?" be Inquired courte
ously. Mr. Orlmm was still gazing dream
ily out of the window. '
"I beg pardon," Insisted the new
comer pleasantly. He folded tbe pa
per once and replaced It on tbe table.
One band lingered for Just tbe frac
tion of a moment above Mr. Grimm's
coffee-cup.
Aroused by tbe remark, Mr. Grimm
glanced around.
"Ob, thank you," be apologized
hastily. "I didn't hear you at Urst
Thank you."
Tbe new-comer nodded, smiled and
passed on, taking a seat two or tbree
tables down.
Apparently tbls trifling courtesy bad
broken tbe spell of reverie, for Mr.
Orlmm squared around to tbe table
again, drew bis coffee-cup toward blm,
and dropped In tbe single lump of
sugar. He Idly stirred It for a mo
ment, as his eyes turned again toward
tbe open window, then be lifted tbe
tiny cup and emptied It
Again be sat motionless for a long
time, and thrice tbe new-comer, only
a few feet away, glanced at him nar
rowly. And now, It seemed, a pe
culiar drowsiness was overtaking Mr.
Grlmm. Once he caught himself nod
ding and raised his bead with a jerk.
Then be noticed that tbe arc lights In
the street were wobbling curiously,
and he fell to wondering why that sin
gle flame sparkled at the apex of the
capltol dome. Things around htm
grew bazy, vague, unreal, and then,
as If realizing that something was the
matter .with him, he came to his feet
He took one step forward Into the
space between the tables, reeled, at
tempted to steady himself by holding
on to a chair, then everything grew
black about him, and he pitched for
ward on the floor. His face was dead
white; his fingers moved a little, nerv
ously, weakly, then they were still.
Several people rose at tbe sound
of the falling body, and the new-comer
hurried forward. His coat sleeve
caught tbe empty demi-tasse, as be
stooped, and swept It to the floor,
where it was shattered. The head
waiter and another came, pell-mell,
and those diners who had risen came
niure slowly.
"What's the matter?" asked the
head waiter anxiously.
Already the new-comer was support
ing Mr. Grlmm on his knee, and flick
lug wuter In his face.
"Nothing serious, I fancy," he an
swered shortly. "He's subject to
these little attacks."
"What are they? Who Is he?"
The stranger tore at Mr. Grimm's
collar until It came loose, then he
Ml to chafing the still bands.
"He Is a Mr. Grlmm, a government
employee I know him," he answered
again. "I Imagine It's nothing more
"Mlous than Indigestion."
A little knot bad gathered about
laem. with offers of assistance. .
"Walter, hadn't you better send for
Physician?" some one suggested.
I'm a physician," the stranger put
'a Impatiently. "Have some one call
cab, and I'll see that he's taken
"nie. It happens that we live In the
mm apartment housf Just a few
"lucks from here."
Obedient to the crlsply-spoken dl
fwtlons, a cab was called, and Ave
nutes later Mr. Grlmm, still insen
Li8' Was llfted ,nt t The stranger
tal leat beslda h,m' tne cabby
Z v m 8 h0r8e wlth wnP. "
"J vehicle fell Into the endless, mov
CHAPTER XXI.
A GIL .
tW 6 llghl of "turning con
WfJsness finally pierced the black
that ""hrouded him. Mr.
ti !h mlDd WBS a chaos 01 YBgrant.
reaM nU8les; Blowly. "lowly.
Ration struggled back to It. own!
vas th ?me t0 know tn,n68- First
tat i ,k,nowled88 that he was lying
IrL ab3ect dar"ess. And final
hne M overwhelm"l "nse of .1-
i'Uv&B,l!?lle be 7 motionless, with
to hJi 1 . 6 movenent of an eye-lash
deiw con8cluness. wrapped la
Pa8s!rUS lanut- Gradually this
Cm VDd tb9 flu" of hi.
kat Th Dt0 Bteady' rhytnm'o
'w 'v n braln wa waken
!What V TB beBlnnlnB to remember,
that in hapPen" He knew only
Umini !me manner a drug had been
inlstered to blm. a bitter dose
" 01 opium; that speechlessly,
ewsiw
mm
JACQUES fUTRELLE
by M.G.Ksr1tivKt
ASSOCIATED 5UMDAY MAGAZINES
DODD3 MERRILL COMPANy
lie had fought against It, that he had
risen from the table In the restaurant,
and that he hud fallen. All the reet
was bluuk.
With eyes still closed, and nerve
less hands inert at his sides he listen
ed, the while he turned the situation
over In speculative mooil. The waiter
had administered the dri.g, of course,
unless unless It had been the courte
ous stranger who had rtolaced the
newspaper on the table! Ttnit thought
opened new fields of conjecture. Mr.
Griiiitn had no recollection of ever
having seen him before; and he had
paid only the enforced attention of
politeness to him. And why had the
drug been administered? Vaguely,
Incoherently, Mr. Orlmm Imagined
that In some way It had to do with the
great International plot of war In
which Mis. Thorne waa so delicate
and vital an Instrument.
Where was be? Conjecture stopped
there. Evidently he wa. where the
courteous gentleman In the restaurant
wacted him to be. A prisoner? Prob
ably. In danger? Long, careful at
tention to detail work In the Secret
Service had convinced Mr. Grlmm
that he wa. always In danger. That
was one reason and the best why
he had lain motionless, without so
much as lifting a finger, uce that
first gllmmor of consciousness bad en
terred his brain. He was probably
under scrutiny, even In the darkness,
and for the present It was desirable to
accommodate any chance watcher by
remaining apparently unconscious.
And so for a long time he lay, list
ening. Wa. there another person In
the room? Mr. Grlmm. ear. were
keenly alive for the Inadvertent shuf
fling of a foot; or the sound of breath
ing. Nothing. Even the night roar
of the city was mlsHlng; the silence
was oppresalve. At last be opened hi.
"I Imagine It'. Nothing More
eyes. A pall of gloom encompassed
him a pall without one rift of light.
His finger., moving slowly, explored
the limit, of tho couch whereon he
lay.
Confident, at last, that wherever he
was, he was unwutched, Mr. Grlmm
was on the point of concluding thut
further Inaction was useless, when his
Btralnlng ears caught the faint grating
of metal against metal perhaps the
Insertion of a key In the lock. His
hands grew still; his eyes closed. And
after' a moment a door creaked Blight
ly on Its hinges, and a breath of cool
air Informed Mr. Grtmm that that
open door, wherever It was, led to the
outsldo, and freedom.
There was another fulnt creaking
a. the door was shut. Mr. Grimm's
nerveless hands closed Involuntarily,
and his Hps were set together tightly.
Was It to be a knife thrust In the
dark? If not then what? He ex
pected the flare of a match; Instead
there was a soft Wiread. and the rustle
of skirts. A woman! Mr. Grlmm'.
caution wa. all but forgotten In his
surprise. A. the steps drew nearer
hi. clenched fingers loosened; he
waited.
Two hands stretched forward In the
dark, touched him simultaneously
one on the face, one on the breast. A
singular thrill shot through him,. but
there was not the flicker of an eye or
the twitching of a finger. The woman
It was a woman seemed now to be
bending over him, then he heard her
drop on her knees beside blm, and .he
pressed an inquiring ear to his left
side. It wa. the heart test.
"Thank God!" she breathed softly.
It wa. only by a masterful effort
that Mr. Grtmm held himself limp and
Inert, for a strange fragrance was en
veloping him a fragrance be well
knew.
The hands were fumbling at his
breast again, and there was the sharp
crackle, of paper. At first be didn't
understand, then he knew that tbe
woman had pinned a paper to the
lapel of hi. coat Finally she straight
ened uq. and took two steps away
from htm, after which cam. a pause.
HI. keenly attuned ears caught her
faint broathlng, then the rustle of her
skirts as she turned back. She was
loaning over him again her lips
touched his forehead, barely; ngaln
there wa. a quick rustling of skirts,
the door croaked, and silence, deep,
oppressive, overwhelming silence.
Isabel! Was ho dreaml.ig? And
then he consort womlorlng and fell to
remembering her kiss light as air
and the softly spoken "Thank God!"
She did care, then! She had under
stood, that day!
The kiss of a woman beloved Is a
splendid heart tonic. Mr. Grlmm
straightened up suddenly on the
couch, hlniHclf og:iln. He) touched the
slip of paper which she had pinned to
his coat to make sure It vas not all a
dream, after which he reca'led the
fact that while he had heard tho door
creak before phe went out he had not
hoard It creak afterward. Therefore,
the door was open. She had left It
ope!!. PurpoHely? That was beside
tbe question at the moment.
ind why how wa. she In Wash
ington? Pondering that question, Mr.
Grimm's excellent teeth clicked sharp
ly together and he rose. He knew the
answer. Tbe compart wa. to be
signed the alliance which would ar
ray the civilized world In arm.. He
bad fulled to block tha'., a. he thought.
If Miss Thorne had returned, then
Prince Henedetto d'Abruxzl, who held
absolute power to sign the compact
for Italy, France and Spain, bad alio
returned.
Stealthily fooling his way a. he
went. Mr. Grlmm moved toward the
door leading to freedom, guided by
the fresh draft of air. He reached
the door It was standing open and
a moment later stepped out into tha
star-lit night. It wa. open country
here, with a thread of white road Just
ahead, and farther along a fringe of
shrubbery. Mr. Grlmm reachwd the
road. Far down It, a pin point In the
night, a light flickered through Inter
lacing branches. Tbe tall lamp of an
automobile, of course!
Mr. Grlmm left the road and skirt
ed a .parse hedge In the direction of
the light. After a moment he heard
the engine of an automobile, and .aw
a woman barely discernible .te
Into the car. As It started forward
he staked everything on one bold
move, and won, hla reward being a
nartow sitting space In the rear of
tbe car, hidden from Its occupant, by
the t.mneau. One mile, two mile.,
three mile, they charged through the
8erlous Than Indigestion."
night, i.nd still he clung on. At last
there came relief.
"That's tho place, where the tight,
are Just ahead."
There was no mistaking that voice
raised above the clamor of the engine.
The car Blackened speed, and Mr.
Grlmm dropped off and darted behind
some convenient bushes. And the first
thing he did there was to light a
match, and read what was written on
the ip of paper pinned to his coat
It as, simply:
"My Dear Mr. Grlmm:
"Hy the time you read this the com
pact will have been signed, and your
efforts to prevent It. splendid as they
were, futile. It Is a tribute to you
that It was unanimously agreed that
you must be Accounted for at the time
of the signing, hence the drugging In
tbe restaurant; it was only an act of
kindness that I should come here to
see that all was well with you, and
leave the door open behind me.
"Helleve me when I say that you
are one roan In whom I have never
been disappointed. Accept this as my
farewell, for now I aseume again the
name and position rightfully mine.
And know, too, that I shall always
cherish the belief that you will re
member me as
"Your friend,
"ISABEL THORNE.
"P. S. Tho prince and I left the
Btoamer at Montauk Point, on a tug
boat." Mr. Grlmm kissed the note twice,
then burned It
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
Our Doctor..
"The late Count Tolstoi loathed phy
sicians," said, at a dinner In Washing
ton, a Russian diplomat.
"You remember how Tolstoi ridiculed
physicians In 'War and Peace?" Woll,
I heard him ridicule three of them to
their faces over a vegetarian dinner at
Yasnaya Polyana.
" 'Physicians,' ho .nld, bitterly, look
ing up from a plate of lentils, 'may be
divided Into two classes tho radicals,
who kill you, and tba conservatives,
who let you dl."'
For the
Paper Co.tume Party
A girl noted for her clever, parties
Issued this Invitation:
A Paper flown
rtpd. white or blue.
Or any ahade
Preferred by you,
We nk you to wi-iir
Next Thuraduy nUlit.
And be preent to witn-a
A pretty alultt.
Juilgoa will reign In nmjexty
And award the prl1
Of which there are three.
Klrat, beauty we aoek,
OrUlnnllty, too.
Or. If the moat ronilcul,
We'll tclve to you
A dainty little gift
That you'd love to win
Now plena? don't be lata
For at elKht we begin.
Bo wenr your paper gown
And bring a heart full of cheer.
Ami I'm certutn title party
Will be remembered all the year
Crepe paper, are so beautiful tbat
the Judges had a difficult time ren
dering their decisions. Tarleton may
be used a. a foundation for tba
dresses.
One especially amusing costume was
made from Fel. Naphtha soap wrap
per., the girl called herself "Aunty
Drudge." "Aunt Jemima'. Pancake
Flour" wa. also represented and one
r,lrl made a decided hit a. tbe "Local
News," her costume being entirely of
newspaper..
A Tree Baiar.
All the Ladle.' Aid. and Guild, are
keen after Idea, to add money to the
treasury. I think the scheme outlined
a delightful one for thl. season of the
year. It call, for eight tree., which
may be dead ones or live ones, a. the
case may be. Decorate entirety with
large pottod plant, and autumn leaves
with wild grape vine and woodbine If
obtainable). The crepe paper, that
come In loaf design will work In
beautifully with thl. decoration and
an entire arbor or lattice may be
made by cutting out paper leave, and
pinning on the trellis. Oleander, and
rubber plant, help out, too.
Table, may be placed In front of
the trees, making booths, the top,
front and side, being covered with
cheesecloth on which paper leaves are
pasted or pinned. If a grape arbor
ran be constructed, tea and other
beverage, or light refreshment, may
be served from small table, under
neath the enclosure thus made. Elec
tric lights placed among the leaves
adds to the effect If the affair I. beld
over Jjto the evening. At the end
of the 'arbor, have grape Juice, grape
Jelly and ralslnu for .ale.
Here I. the list of trees which may
be arranged arotuid the room a. bent
suit, the committees: "The Pair
Feather
scrroMHoi c. rAfcu wars-
ar,rc
THESE Illustration. I have used 011 dresses for children; 1 and t
I used on flannel, 3 and 4 between tucks on waist. 6 and 6
ou waist and skirt above tbe bcai. Very pretty and dainty when even
ly worked. Exchange.
BEAUTY HINTS FOR THE GIRL
Inexpensive Skin Tonic Easily Ap
plied and Will Be Found of the
Highest Value.
Not all young women desirous of ob
taining beauty effects have the unlim
ited wenlth of their more fortunate sis
ters, consequently It Is necessary for
them to resort to cheap and simple
means, often the best.
Rut here Is something, an old for
mula which has so many beneficial
qualities and Is so Inexpensive that
every girl needing a skin tonic and
Instant oeautlfler, cannot afford to re
ject. Break the white of one egg Into a
cup and beat It to a froth, add the
Juice of a half lemon, place the cup
In a pan of boiling water and stir con
stantly until the mixture thickens to
a smooth paste. , Remove from the
fire and add any desired perfume.
After bathing the face, apply this In
1 mall quantities to the face, neck and
arms. Soon it will have a sticky feel
ing which promise, some dismay. Rub
Hostess
Tree;" on It. boughs bang everything
that comes In pairs, like scissors, tied
with ribbons, slipper., (knitted or cro
chet, or ribbon or leather), mitten.,
gloves, cup. and Baucer., twin bottle,
of perfume, comb, and brushes, cuff
links, etc.; on the table have spiced
peurs, pear marmalude, canned pears,
pear-shaped candy boxes.
Tbe Peach Tree Decorate with real
peaches, which may be tied to the
branches If a real bearing tree rs not
obtalnnble. On the table serve poach
Ice cream, poach shortcake, marma
lade, spiced peaches, etc.
The Palm Tree has real palms do
nated by a florist, to be sold on com
mission, and back of the palms have
a fortune teller.
The Orange Tree Is literally covered
with orange-colored paper fruit, each
containing an article worth five or ten
cents; thl. take, the place of the
grab bag found at most church affairs
It may be presided over by quite a
young girl and should prove a lucra
tlve attraction, a. It. "fruit" will be
all clear profit Tbe table next this
should contain orange marmalade,
candled orange peel, orange-colored
bon bon, and orange cake Orange
Ice may be served, also orangeade.
For the llanana Tree have bunches
of real bananas; In cities banana
shaped candy boxes are obtainable.
Tbe Date Tree will have all sort, of
calendars, engagement tablet., note
books, telephone lists, diaries. In fact
everything with which to make or
keep a date. Sell stuffed dates, plain
dates, date cake, etc., on the table In
front of the tree. Suspend .mall artl
cle. from It. branches.
The Sugar Plum Tree will have
candy cane, bung on It. branches,
bag. of candy, and all sort, of lolll
pop. and sweetmeats for .ale.
A lemon tree may be added, or any
other, at the discretion of those In
charge.
for September.
Remember that tbls month claim.
tbe sapphire for Its stone, tbe morn
Ing glory for Its flower and It Is con
sldered a most auspicious month for
marriages. Here I. a ver.elet for
maiden who has a birthday In Sep
tember', thirty day.:
"A maiden born when September leaves
Aro mailing In S"ptember breeie,
A enpphlre on her brow ahould bind;
'Twill euro diseases of the mind."
The 16th, ISth and 20th are consld
ered especially happy wedding days;
an old saying goes:
"Vnrrled In September's golden glow,
Smooth and serene your life will How."
MADAME MEIUU.
Stitch
s
the skin with a Roft towol. As If some
mysterious magic came to your aid,
you will discover a soft velvety skin,
white as If powdored, proof against
perspiration, a most excellent skin ton
ic and face bleach. The above quality
will lHHt two or three days. It must be
used fresh. To dancers It Is a veritable
boon and It calls for no powder what
ever, and Is a most excellent lotion to
hide a little touch of rouge to cheeks
or Hps.
Princess Slip.
There has been an unusually large
distribution or princess slips during
the spring and summer, owing to the
general use of sheer material, tot
summer dressee. say. tbe Dry Goods
Economist. Tbe highest grade num
bers are made of marquisette and
mercerized batiste. They are elab
orated with hand-embroldory, lace and
ribbons, and make effective linings
for tbe now-style dresse.
The Reason.
Wlgg Henpckke has bought a mr
torbuat and named It after his wlfo.
Wag g Can't manago It, ah?
NO NUTRITION IN ALCOHOL
Problem of Food Value I. Condensed
Into Nutiht'll by th. Medical
Times of New York.
Tbe Medical Times of New ifork
condenses the alcohol question. Into
thl. nutshell:
The problem of the food value of al
cohol does not seem, after all. to bav.
been finally resolved by Professor At
water. A German physiologist of high
standing. Professor Kaoxowlu, ba.
lately published the details of an ex
perimental InveatlKatlon which bus
led him to precisely the opposite con
clusion. A certain number of dogs
were given definite amounts of food,
some with and without alcohol, and
required to take a stat"d amount of
exercise each day In a running ma
chine. Thene trials and several oth
ers of a like nature were repeatedly
carried out. and It was found that the
rocorded result were uniformly
against tbe alcohol-fed dogs, both as
to tbe amount of work accomplished
and changes In weight. Tbe author Is
of the opinion that no food material
can be used In the body without be
ing first concerted Into protoplasm.
Since alcohol, being a stimulating and
poisonous substance, destroys tbe
highly complex and unstable proto
plasmic molecule, It cannot at tbe
same time be assimilated by It, con
sequently It cannot act a. a food and
a poison simultaneously. After a com
paratively short period, alcohol par.i
lyzes the center of Innervation of the
muscles and therefore, by diminishing
tbe amount of muscular action, the se
cretion of carbonic acid Is lessened.
Tbe diminished secretion, consequent
ly, moans no saving of tbe tissue of
the body, but I. a direct result of the
poisonous action of alcohol. Kasso
wit. Is convinced tbat under no cir
cumstances can alcohol act In a nutri
tive manner. Such Is the latest au
thoritative pronouncement on this sub
ject frm the world', scientific cen
ter. What do we learn from tbe fant.
of human experience? Dally observa
tion show, tbat all men who drink do
not become drunkards. Those who
are thus unfortunate are not so be
cause they are weak In w ill or morals,
for men of tbe highest character
have become Inebriates. A man Is a
drunkard because he ha. a nervou.
system that Is peculiarly susceptible
to the poisonous qualities of alcohol.
No young man, when he begin, the
moderate use of alcoholic beverage,,
know, whether or not he belongs to
the class tbat enn drink without dan
ger. He can find this out only by
experiment, and after the experiment
It is likely to be too late to avert tbe
disastrous results, against which
strength of character and will is no
safe-guard, any more than It would
be against smallpox. Therefore, Btrlc,
avoidance of alcoholic beverages Is
tbe logical conclusion. If the gravest
peril, are to be avoided.
ODD ARRANGEMENT OF ALTAR
Staten Island Pastor Creates Sensa
tion Among Congregation by Strang.
Collection In Pulpit.
The pastor of a fashionable Staten
Island, N. Y., church recently created
something of a sensation. When the
congregation arrived there were gen
eral exclamations of .hock over the
appearance of the pulpit. Instead of
floral decorations, there were the fol
lowing objects grouped about tbe
speaker's stand:
A whisky barrel, several cigar and
cigarette boxes, a dire box, a .mall
automuhllo, some beer bottles, a bam,
a pair of shoes, and strewn over tbla
motley collection, some school books,
a mission envelope, and a Ulble.
The pastor said the objects Illus
trated his text: "How a Dollar Is Spent
In tbe Vnlted States." In hi. ser
mon be said:
"One-seventeenth of every dollar
spent In this country every year goes
for drink, the amount being $ I.C75,
000,000; one-eighteenth of every dol
lar goes for tobacco, one-seventeenth
for boots and shoes, one-fifteenth for
meat, one-twonty-flftb for education,
and one fiftieth for churches."
Advance 8tep In Germany.
German women, headed by Frau
Jellink of Heidelberg have secured
130,000 signature, to a irtlUon to the
ReichBtag for the doing away with
women waiter. In the beer-garden.
throughout Germany. The ground of
their protest Is the "Intolerable deg
radation which such service brings
to women" and tbe menace to morals
and health which are It. Inevitable
accompaniment. Most of the import
ant Women's Soclotle. are actively
engaged In the promotion of thl. new
reform and many ladle, of rank and
Influence are taking special Interest
In securing favor for the measure la
legislative quarters. It. passage will
be a decided step In advance for Gor
man tcmperanco and the public In
terest directed toward the matter may
take expression In furlhor refortns.
Alcohol an Enemy of Thrift.
The Scotch city of Alrdle, formorly
famous for Us drunkenness, has since
1900 gone through a great transforma
tion, chiefly through the activity of
the Good Templars. The local lodge
numbers .1,300 members (the largest In
the world), and I. In close coopera'.lou
with a W. C. T. V. of 700 members.
One-third of the drlnkshop. have been
closed as a consequence of the special
work nnd Influence of these active
temperance forces. The city saving,
banks for sixty-five years made little
progress, but Blnce 1900 the number of
depositor, tins risen rapidly from 6,769
with about $1,700,000 to 11,262 with
nearly S ,000,000 In deposits. Mayor
Knox ha. scored the public house a.
"the enemy of thrift."
Intemperance and Poverty.
If we could sweep Intemperance out
of the country, there would be hardly
poverty enough loft to give health ex
ercise to the charitable Impulses.
Phillips Brooks.
JkWILBUR P. NE5BIT
GonlidmgSkplic
Vot j can't make William Brown believe
There waa an Adam or an Eve
No. air! lie says that's Just a myth
Tu play on people'a feeling with.
1'". no use to give Wllllum tracta.
lie say h run hla mind on facts!
Yes, William's bald ties haa grow.
chronic
Although he used th barber's tonlot
And William Ilrown he any the flood
I Just a myth, aa plain aa mud.
He aay old Noah never made
Th ark. but on dry land h tayel
!Im' from Missouri, and you know
That aort 0' man you'v got to ahow.
Ve, hi dyspepsia's nearly killed him
Although with Utummlck Ualm they Oiled
him.
"Humph!" William Brown will aay, "that
tale
About nld Jonah and th whale
la all pur legend! Why will you
:ellev a thing you know ain't truer
Now I will not believe a bit
O' stuff that Isn't definite!"
Tea, Ilrown' rheumatic pain still bald
him
In aplt of what the druggtat sold him,
And William Brown will almoat fight
If you aay hla view are not right
"tfcin't try to talk to full-growa men
f" Daniel In the Hone' den!'
He'll shout till others stand aloof.
"I won't believe till you bring proof!"
Yes. Brown gulp down without a quiver
Old Doctgr lllnk'a Dope for the Liver.
DOTTY.
"I hoar that Myrtle Swagger ha.
had to lako optical treatment, that
her eye. have failed because of bor
writing too much."
"Her eyes failed, but not exactly
because of tbe writing she did, al
though It sounds ns If It wero."
"I don't understand what you
mean."
"It wasn't pen nnd Ink she dotted
her eyes with a roll."
ODDITIES OF THE GREAT.
Charlemagne would not take an up
per berth when traveling.
Jullu. Caesar, In all hi. public life,
did not wear a silk bat or frock coat.
Marcus Aurellu. could not sharpen
a lead pencil.
Alexander the Great could not be
Induced to allow any one to make a
snapshot of him.
Nero would not have an automobile.
Christopher Columbus never trusted
himself In a steamboat
George III. did not drink Ice cream
soda.
Henry of Navarre could not amove
a cigar.
Queen Elizabeth would not go to a
moving picture .how.
HI. Own System.
"Yes," say. St. Peter to the .hafte?
of the philanthropist, "we will do our
best to let you work yourself through
the gate. We will give you a hundred
credit marks, provided that you get
some of the others on thn outside la
donate you a million more."
Whereas the philanthropist dlscor-
ered for the first time that hi. robe
was pocket less.
Polished the Tooth.
"Isn't It remarkable." Bald the man
In the front row at the theater, "how
she holds her youthful appearance?"
"It 1. truly wonderful. Indeed." re
plied the man next to him.
"I wonder what .he use. to defy tho
tooth of time."
'I have understood that .he uses
dental powder a. a cosmetic."
Th. Problem Solved.
"Now, profesor, If I should get
pound of radium and put It Into a
glass tube, and place that Inside aa
Iron tunk, what would be "
"Walt a minute. Let u. take tho
problem up aectlon by section. It
you should get a pound of radium you
wouldn't have enough money left to
buy tho glass tube."
It. Worth,
"nut why do you call the name or
vnne nw food a 'coined' word?" w
ask of th astute manufacturer.
Purring bis upe. ne answer.
"Because there Is money In It
1