Her Father's Daughter
By ANNIE HINRICHSEN
Copyrlihted, tvio, by Auociated Literary Pint
, -I wish you would marry me."
yerle Adam had lost count of the
times be bad told her thin. Each
time be said It, bo made the stato
jnent with the lame arguments and
with the same sincere conviction that
marriage with him was the reason
able and foreseen result of her here .
Itr and environment.
"I'm not asking you to fall madly
In love with me. Cecilia," he went
on. "I ask you to quit chasing new
(ancles and go where your natural
inclinations lead you. They will bring
von straight to me. We are corela
tlre splriu; you don't realize It. but
do. There Is a bond between us
uniting our subconscious selves. You
keep It suppressed below the plane
of consciousness. But It's there and
jt' real and strong."
"Becau83 you are a politician and
my father la a politician we must
necessarily be twin souls? You are
totally mistaken. 1 am not your co
relative spirit; there Is no subcon
scious bond between us. I am not In
love with you. 1 shall not marry
you
"I think you will. For awhile you
-will chase fancies and form other at-
"Traitor, Traitor, Whers Is Morton?'
tachments as strong as cobwebs.
Some day you will dismiss this pretty
rubbish. I shall wait."
"And suppose," said Miss Morton
deliberately. " that while you are
waiting I marry some one else?"
"That ia a possibility, of course.
But I don't believe you will. You are
the product of a certain atmosphere.
It Is not probable that you will marry
out of It If you were a man you
would run the state with an honest,
perfectly organized machine. Being
a very beautiful, very conventional
young woman this political Instinct
shows Itself la a mental attitude.
You will marry a: politician. I In
tend to be the one. But I believe you
think yon will marry Harry Seldon.
"He ta a politician and perhaps
corelative) spirit"
"Seldon a politician? TJmph! He
can make a racket on a stump, but
be can't deliver a precinct."
"You talk like a ward heeler
Harry Seldon will be one of the
greatest men of th e day. I care
great deal for him and for the Ideals
he represents."
"Does your father share your ad'
miration of Seldon?"
"Father Is too unhappy to think of
anything except his own trouble.
Judge Clarkson "
"Clarkson," Adams growled, "the
lowest traitor that lives. Your father
gave htm everything be has. lie
compelled the judicial convention to
nominate him for the supreme bench
Your father's Influence made blm
famous man. But be wants to be th
greatest political leader In the state.
To realize his ambition he has de
throned your father. Next week when
the state convention meets Judge
Clarkson will go as a great man and
your father will not be there. Your
father, the truest friend I ever
had " ,
The convention met In the Hall of
Representatives In the state capltol.
The vast room was filled with dele
gates, distinguished guests and root
ers. They overflowed into the ante
rooms and corridors.
Cecilia Morton sat In the gallery.
Every since she was a child she bad
come to the state conventions. To
this one she had come with an aching
heart. For the first time in his po
litical life her father was not there.
flf SHELTERING
MANHOOD
By REV. W. D. BRA0F1ELD
Putor Trinity MethodM Episcopal
Clunk, Dallaa, Teaaa
The Honorable Wlllarn S. Morton,
member of Congress, had been side
tracked out of his own county organ
ization. When Brooke county select
ed Its delegates to the state conven
tion Mr. Morton's name was not on
the list. In his own county his down
fall had been designed. It had been
accomplished quietly a word here
and there, a suggestion at the right
moment to a disaffected one and
under It all a purpose, subtle and de
liberate.
The absence of the well-known
poltlclan from the personnel of the
state convention was an Incident of
tremendous political significance. It
as the first break In his power, a
politician's county Is the cornerstone
of his success, and without It he can
have only an uncertain structure that
will soon go to pieces. From end to
end of the state the press commented
on the Incident ' and politicians dls-
ussed It. '
Congressman Morton's career was
ended. He had lost his grip. At me
first 'sign of weakness a hundred men
were ready to spring upon him and
tear from hlra his power. Another
faction was waiting to rule the coun
ty and the opportunity naa coma.
Without the support of hla county ue
could not be renominated for Con
gress. He would drop out of the
political life, and although he woum
always stand high In public opinion
he would be that most unhappy man
a politician shorn of his power.
The convention was called to order.
The routine preliminaries were gone
through. The delivery of oratorical
masterpieces began. The chairman
announced the name of Justice James
Clarkson of the state supreme court.
Justice Clarkson rose.
"Mr. Chairman," he began, "ladles
and gentlemen "
There was a faint hiss. The Judge
stopped.
"It is my pleasure " he went on.
The hiss came again. This time It
was louder and seemed to come from
several parts of the room.
The Judge's face darkened with
anger. Again he Degan to speaa, uui
from one side of the room came a
catcall. It was answered from the
other side. Several voices took It up..
The chairman pounded on his desk
for order.
The catcalls grew louder. From all
parts of the room came a steady hiss
ing. A man in the rear began to yell.
In a moment the convention "was a
wild uproar of inarticulate, derisive
hootlngs.
The Judge ghastly, furious,, stood
in his place.. A man caught the tails
of his coat and Jerked him to his
seat. A dozen of his friends sur
rounded htm. pushed him upon a
chair and shouted to the chairman to I
preserve order.
As the Judge appeared above the
crowd the hooting changed to a reg
ular Intonation, accompanied by a
steady stamping of feet.
Traitor. Traitor. Where Is Mor
ton?"
The Judge dropped from his chair
and burled his face In bis arms and
around him the storm of execration
raged.
From the gallery CpcIHb Morton
watched the turmoil with passionate,
wondering Joy. Some one had
planned this demonstration. Some
one had filled the ball with trained
rooters and organized the younger
delegates Into a Jeering chorus; some
one who knew that Judge Clarkson's
public humiliation would restore the
prestige of the friend he bad be
trayed. Harry Seldon, the all but accepted
lover, the politician of dreams and
theories which bad seemed so beau
tiful to her, was running about ' the
hall frantically imploring men to be
quiet, to cease their dishonor of a
Judge of the supreme court. An un
utterable contempt for him swept
over her. Didn't the man know this
was for her father's honor?
She looked at Merle Adams He
was standing a little apart from the
crowd. On his strong, young faco
was an expression of quiet satisfac
tion. She saw hlra raise his hand In
an almost imperceptible gesture. In
stantly the regular, rhythmic clacking,
the base of sound on which the up
roar was built, ceased. The lighter,
miscellaneous hootlngs continued toe
a moment and thne died aVay.
Merle Adams raised his eyes to the
gallery. Cecilia was leaning far over
the railing. He read the look on her
face and the message of her suddenly
outstretched bands. Across the mob
of excited, gesticulating politicians
be sent the answer to her message,
pushed bis way through the crowd
and ran up the gallery stairs.
ALCOHOL AND RACE SUICIDE
MIXED MOTIVES
WllHam Jay Bchleffelln. vice-president
of the Men's League for Wom
an's Suffrage, said at one of his stri
ding suffrage meetings In Bar Har
bor: ,
"It we studied questions with the
ole desire of getting at the truth,
then, no doubt, we should all be suf
frages. But we can never approach
a question, it seems, without taking
aides, without becoming partisans, and
i partisans, in our hot wish to van
quish the other party, truth becomes a
UUle bit obscured. .
"Few motives. In this world, can be
Wre. That to our great trouble." ,
Mr. Bchleffelln smiled and resumed:
"A clerk wept bitterly on the beach
stormy day while out on the boll-
big sea tossed a cockleshell of a ilsh-
tog boat wherein sat his employer. As
the cibrk watched with wild eyee the
ltle boat now burled under white
bam, now shooting forward gallantly,
ow buried' sgaln, be clasped
thaiid and cried in great anguish;
"'It that boat sinks.
Job!'"
1
I'll lose my
"Your Humble Servant" -
Anthony Trollope was at one time
appointee a surveyor or inspector of
taxes, and Mr. Worstold's friend was
one of a deputation who waited on
him. After a very heated discussion
Trollope said to tbein: "Look berel
I want you to understand one thing.
When I write to you that I am your
humble and obedient servant, I am
d well nothing of the sort"-Lou-dou
Telegraph.
Text. Behold n king nhall reign In
righteousness and pi luces ruin In Judg
ment. And a man nhall lie a hiding place
from the wind, a covert from the tern
post; an rivers of water In a dry place;
a the shadow of a great ruck In a weary
land. -Isaiah 33:1, 2.
The text Is Isaiah's dream of a Just
government. "A king shall reign In
righteousness and princes rule In
Judgment." It Is remarkable that Isa
iah's lpftleBt conception of the' Mes
sianic reign is a Just government A
king his Messiah should be who reigns
in righteousness. Ixulah's dream Is
the dream of the ages. History is lit
tle more than a record of a strug
gle for Just government. A govern
ment allowing equal opportunities for
all, giving every man a square ileal,
has been the desire of all peoples.
Men want Justice here and now. More
than benevolence or charity men de
mand simple Justice.
It la too late now to seek to com
pensate men for Injustice here by the
promise of Justice after they are dend.
Shelterless people here are no long
er comforted by the promise of man
sions in the skies. Hungry people are
no longer compensated for hunger
here by the promise of eating bread
In the kingdom of God. Men demand
Justice here, and the dream of mil
lions of hearts Is for the Just govern
ment which Isaiah foresaw.
The text gives us Isaiah's concep
tion of the fountain force of society:
"A man shall be as a hiding place from
the wind" a man. Society is com
posed of an aggrgeatlon of individuals
and no scheme for social betterment
Is worth while which has a goal oth
er -than the improvement of the char
acter of individual men. The fountain
force of government and society Is the
individual. "A man shall be as an
hiding place from the wind" a man.
The word "masses" was not in the vo
cabulary of the Christ. He did not seek
to reach men en masse. He aimed
at the personal character of individ
ual men and women.
His ministry was much to individ
uals, now to a ruined woman weary of
her sin, now to a confused seeker by
night The sum total of his three
years' work was the training of a half
dozen or more individual men. The
fountain force of society is the Indi
vidual man or woman. Disseminate
learning, distribute wealth, do what
you will, but you have done nothing
permanent for society until you have
reached the bettered, the personal
character of Individual men and wom
en. Exactly this Is the fountain
force of society as Isaiah saw it. "A
man shall be" a man.
The text Is Isaiah's portrait of a
sheltering manhood.
"A man shall be as a hiding place
from the wind, a cover from the tem
pest; as rivers of water In a dry place,
as the shadow of a great rock lu a
weary land." Isaiah looked east of
Palestine and beheld running north
and south great cliffs of rock. East
of these cliffs be beheld the drifting
sands of the Arabian desert The
great cliffs he had seen rise In their
majesty and say to the burning, drift
ing sand: "Thus far and no farther."
The drift was arrested and to the lee
ward of the great rocks he . beheld
oases blossom as the-rose. Here he
had seen flocks and herds roam. Then
In his vision be said: "The time Is
coming the good time is coming
when a man shall repeat the ministry
of the rocks. Under bts sheltering
manhood the weak shall be protected
and the fainting inspired. A man shall
be as a hiding place from the wind
. . . as shadow of a great rock in
a weary land."
It is admitted by all that Isaiah's
words are a luminous description of
the inspiring and sheltering ministry
of Jusus Christ But they are more
than that. They are Isaiah's ideal of
what every life may be. "A man"
sny man, evory man may repeat the
ministry of the sheltering rocks.
Life, it has been said, has aspects
very desert-like. It Is swept by drifts,
now of cruel government, now of so
cial impurity, now of commercial dis
honesty. The arresting force bos al
ways been a man. The drift of Per
sian cruelty and social corruption
was arrested by Mllltlades at Mara
thon. The drift of Mohammedan su
perstition was arrested by Charles
Martel at Tours. The drift of medi
aeval eocleslautlclsm was arrested by
Martin Luther at the Diet of Worms.
Qreat outstanding characters who
have repeated the ministry of the
rocks which Isaiah saw have made his
tory. The achievements of history
are at bottom of the work of these
men.
What Jesus Christ did and what the
great outstanding characters of his
tory have done you and I are called
uDon in ous lesser spheres to do.
The manhood of each is to be a shut
tering manhood. The weak are to b 4
protected, the fainting by the shadow
of our lives, only tnis spirit can
solve our problems. Souls must be
given to our great corporations an
under the shelter of their, benevolence
the weak are to be proected.
Unselfish service is to be rendered
by every employee and under the shel
ter of hla fidelity corporate Interests
are to be safeguarded. Remember,
it ia " man," any man, every man,
who la required to repeat the in
spiring and sheltering ministry of the
eternal rocks which isatan saw.
TEMPERANCE
LESSON
Saaday School Uim for Not. 13, 1910
Specially Arranged for This Paper
TEMPTATION WAS TOO GKEAT
Two Noted Sclentlats Give Their
Views of 8trong Drink
and Its Effects.
In an address at Philadelphia, Dr.
T. A. MacNlcholl, surgeon at the Red
Cross hospital, New York, presented
this striking comparison In the study
of two separate groups of families:
"Through a long line of successive
generations I have made a study of
two separate groups of families. One
group, children of drinking parents;
one group of children of abstaining
parents.'
"In ten families of drinking habits
there were 66' children. Thirty died
In Infancy, three of heart dlseaso,
four were Insane, Beven were anaemic,
eight were tuberculous, one had dia
betes, three had very poor teeth, three
hud adenoids. Only four of the num
ber were normal. Of the total, two
were excellent, six were fair, and sev
en were deficient In their studies.
"In ten families of abstaining par
ents there were 70 children. Two died
in Infuncy, two were neurotic and
anaemic, one had rheumatism, une
was tuberculous, and 64 were normal.
In study, 5 were excellent, 10 were
fair, only two were deficient.
"Of the children of total abstaining
families, 90 per cent were normal; ot
the total of children of drinking par
ents, 13 per cent were" abnormal.
"Eighty per cent of tho children of
regular drinkers have convulsions
while teething. Of children dying
from such diseases as measles, whoop
ing cough, scarlet fever, and other In
fantile disorders, a large percentile
are children of drinking ancestry."
Dr. T. J. Mays, specialist In con
sumption, Philadelphia, In his address
before the semi-annual conference of
the American Society for the Study of
Alcohol and Other Drug Narcotics, de
clared that Inebriety was very closely
associated with consumption. The
former destroyed the vitality of the
body and permitted diseusu germs to
gather and grow in the lungs. In
ebriety and consumption are twin dis
eases, the one following the other,
The disease germs of the latter would
not flourish in the lungs If the brain
and nervous system were strong
enough to throw them off. Alcohol
not only frequently causes tubercu
losis, but there are many cases where
Hie children of drinkers develop the
white plague. A consumptive patient
frequently presents himself, In whom
the most diligent neareh falls to re
veal the slightest trace of family con
sumption. The condition la frequent
ly found in the young, especially in
4lrls, who, after careful Inquiry, ares
found to have a father or mother, or
pnmetimes both, who had been tip
plers of alcohol.
Children of alcohol parents are
from 200 to 2(10 per cent more liable
to consumption, and from 300 to 600
per cent more prone to nervous dls
eases than are children of abstemious
parents.
DRINKINGtABITS oT WOMEN
Lesson Text-Matthew 24 :32-Sl. Memory
Verae 44.
Uolden Text "Watch and fray, that
ye enter net Into temptation." Malt
26:41.
-y Licked Wrong Boy.
"Teac. w, you Uoad the wrong boy
this luortilng," said a pupil la one
of the - suburban schools a day or
two ago.
"How was thatr asked the teacher
"Why, Johnny Hardshell bad the
money to buy you a Christmas pres-
blit ,ut and when you licked blm he gave
the money back to the CtUowaT
Perturbed Physical Conditions Given
as Main Causes Its Results
Are Dreadful.
Envy.
tCnvy Is incipient murder; do tender
feeling can dwell in -the same breast
with envy. It will drive every good
impulse from the heart, and welcomi
a brood of vipers that will resort tr
any method to accomplish their dlabo
teal purpose. "Rev. W. P. Hlnes. Uap
tlst, Louisville.
It take " ed as well as soil to muk
things gio
. Inebriety from a fondness for alco
hol for Its own sake vicious indul
gence Is far less frequent In women
than In men, and It Is well that it Is
so. Drunkenness Is bad enough in a
man, but In a woman It Is even more
pitiable, and, If It be possible, more
far-reaching and more dreadful lu Its
results. With women It would, we
think, be safe to say that the origin
of the drink habit lies lu perttirhed
physical conditions in fact, that It Is
a disease, and not a mere moral obli
quity, as many would have us believe.
The consequences of alcoholism In wo
men are not so quickly evident as in
men. In the earlier stages of In
ebriety In those cases In which there
Is "power of volition, a peculiar shrink
ing from publicity protects some wo
men against the symptoms uoted
among men at a like period. Two
causes may be given for the lapse of
women Into inebriety. First Is the
nervous condition due to lack of nu
trition and the wear and worry of do
mestic life and the demands ' of so
ciety an exhaustion for which relief
Is mistakenly sought In the transient
aid of alcohol; secondly, the pain and
unrest Incident to disorders of their
sex. for which solace Is sought In the
anaesthetic and paralyzing effects of
alcohol. In the first place, the woman
who flies to drink must be unaware or
unmindful of the fact that Its taking
involves a great risk of creating a
morbid condition that often finds ex
pression In constant Inebriety. In the
second case, the so-called solace, with
startling and sorrowful frequency,
ends In confirmed alcoholism. Health
CuHure.
Less Scotch Whisky Drunk.
An unprecedented state of affairs
prevails in the Scottish distilling industry.
It has Just been announced that the
North British distillery Is to be closed
down. This makes the fourth large
grain distillery which bas ceased op
erations in Scotland during the past
month or two.
At the annual meeting of the Distill
ers' company, limited, the predominant
producing concern, It was reported by
the chairman that their stocks bad in
creased by more than 1250,000. He
foreshadowed the possibility of having
to close down one or more distilleries
permanently, and stated that such a
contingency had already been provided
tor by writing down their value.
Brotherly boosting help more thai
aUurly sympathy.
Drink Cause of Accidents.
"Why do we have so many accidents
on our road a T" was asked by the hlgb
authorities of an American railway
system. They made an Investigation
and found that tbe losses of life,' limb
md property were the result of run"
drinking by their employees. Now
they have rules that nun who drink
-nu at stop It or their places will be
filled at once with sober men. Thit
has become an old ttory lu a few
mouths all over tbe laud.
The disciples had accepted Jesus a
the Messiah and chosen the way
which led to the establishment of the
kingdom of Cod. But they were In the
meantime to endure great temptations
and difficulties; wars, famines, tribu
lations, hatred, prisons, death, disas
ters, earthqunkes, pestilences, disci
ples waxing cold, false prophetB aris
ing, stars falling, the sun dnrkened,
tiie moon turned Into blood, the pow
ers of heaven shaken, "such as had
not been from the beginning of the
world" then, Christ says to his dis
ciples, "when these things begin to
come to pass, then look up, and lift up
your heads; for your redemption draw
eth nigh; It Is near even nt the doors."
And he also adds, Watch therefore.
Be ye also ready. For ye know not on
whnt day your Lord cometh.
The parable of the fig tree Is n
beautiful Illustration showing us that
while we cannot know when Christ Is
coming, we have warnings so' as to In
on guard, as the first signs of sprln;;
bid us prepare for the summer. This
Keneration. that Is while some who
wire listening to hlin should Btlll be
alive, as he himself said.
Tho time to watch Is at the resin
ning of t lie course that leads to these
results. The day of Judgment Is the
I end of the course; the choice lies at
tho beginning.
Those really watched who so fore
saw the future and the true ideal nf
their lives, that from the beginning
they went on toward it by the only
path that led to It. They were faith
ful In every duty. They served their
Lord by obedience. They reslste.l ev
ery temptation. They were on their
guard against every wile of the devil.
Thev were wide awake, with eyes
open to every opportunity, to the signs
of the times, to new ways and means,
and possibilities.
"Blessed Is that servant, whom his
lord when he cometh shall find so do
ing. Verily 1 say unto you, Thitt he
shall make him ruler over all his
goods." To those who bo watched was
entrusted the kingdom of heaven, for
themselves and for the world.
Those failed to watch who were so
absorbed In their own selfish pleas
ures and gains that they neglected
their duties, forgot their Master's In
terests, were eye-servants. This folly
was Intensified by beginning "to eat
and drink with the drunken." They
took the road that led to destruction.
Rev. S. W. Hanks, a second or third !
cousin of Abraham Lincoln, years ago
devised a most vivid temperance lec
ture called "The Black Valley Hall
road," which he Illustrated by a large
chart. It Is given In a book called
"Tho Crystal River."
The Land of the Crystal River Is
the land which nil children enter when
they come Into this world.
To live In the Lund of the Crystal
River, tho land of temperance, of self
control, of good character, of highest
usefulness, of prosperity, of religion,
of heaven, should be the hope and .the
aim of everyone.
The Black Valley country is situat
ed In an extensive lowland, lying be
tween an elevated anil extremely fer
tile and beautiful region, called the
Land of the Crystal River, bounding
It upon Its upper limits and a vast and
unexplored desert forming Its lower
boundary. Vice and crime abound. In
numerable drunkards and criminals
are found there. Prisons and poor
houses take the place of churches lind
school houses.
The man in the conning tower nt
the Junction of the Black Vnlley rail
road with the railroad to temperance
would guide all youthful travelers to
,he better way. He urges all to seek
he hlKhest and best life.
We are building a house for our
selves, a body In which we must live,
and a character In which our soul
must abide. God would have us pos
sess a perfect body, and to put away
everything which Injures health, which
brings weakness or disease. He would
have us form a noble character of
which we will' not be ashamed, which
will fit us for heaven and usefulness,
and the company of the good. We can
not cheat God, but we can cheat our
selves. By using strong drink In any
quantity whatever we are skimping,
degrading, making poor and weak the
house we have got to live lu.
Every drunkard was once an Inno
cent child. Every one was first a mod
erate drinker. No one ever yet be
came a drunkard who refused to touch
Intoxicating drink. Not all who drink
moderately do become drunkards, but
no one ever became a drunkard who
did not first drink moderately.
It Is terrible to let a habit begin In
youth which will Impel us to go on do
ing wrong against reason, against the
power to help others, agalnBt love of
God, of man, and of country.
"The story Is told of a rich young
man who sat at a dinner table with a
number of friends, and babbled drunk
en foollsnness an tne long evening
One of bis friends was a court atenog
rapher. Seized by an idea for the
help of his friend, he stenographlcally
reported every word that the latter
uttered. Tbe next day he had these
totes transcribed and stnt to the man
himself. The latter, shocked, could
scarcely believe that he himself had
lescended to such a level of linb ell
ty. 'If this the way a man talks when
1e is drunk, I mean to keep sober
hereafter.' "William T. Ellis.
Sign the pledge.
Sign it now.
Keep It forever.
Afghan Horse Thief Gave Owner
"Real" Exhibition of How Ani
mal Was 8tolen.
An Indian officer relates some good
stories of Peshawur, which In the
early "seventies." before British poli
tical Influence had asserted Itself be
yond the lonely little forts of "Jam
rud" and "Shabkadar," was a some
what disturbed locality, in spite of
the strength of Ita garrison.
It was at Peshawur (he says) that
the medlcul ofllcer of my regiment,
was Informed one night that a valu
able and favorite Arab of his had
been stolen! Over the border, gone
for ever he never expected to aee
his horse again, but next day. much to
his surprise, there came to him a
bearded rufllan, riding bare-backed the
stolen steed.
He confessed that he had taken the
animal, but. learning that It was the
property of a hnklm, (physician! had
brought Jt back. The horse had been
tethered In lino with others, with
men. women, and children sleeping
in the open about them .
"How did you manage It?" asked
tho doctor.
"If the sahib will give the necessary
order," he said, "I will show him."
The entire Bcene was reproduced,
even to the night watchman asleep In
a corner. Noiselessly the Afghan
crawled towards the Arab, threading
snakelike through the prostrate forms
to where It was standing at the end
of the row. Softly hissing to attract
the animal s attention, without caus
ing him alarm, he gently raised him
self with arm extended.
Itf his open palm were some lumps
of goor (native sugar), beloved of
horses, and while the Arab was enjoy
ing theso the man was caressing him
with the other hand, whence suspend
ed a watering bridle taken from his
wnllet. Quickly this was adjusted, and
then, stroking soothingly, the robber
passed his hand over the animal's
back and down th e hindquarters.
Swiftly the heel ropes were unhitch
ed, then tho headgear relensed. and
with a bound he was astride and away
his right hand ba.-kward flung shout
ing triumphantly ns he passed: "Thus
was It done!"
The Joke was that he never came
back! A double restitution would
have been too much of a wrench.
vby WILBUR D NEmTI
c' ANNUAL
PROBLEM
J
See the Cafe I
"See, the cafe!"
"Yes, a gala scene It Is with Its
brilliant lights and rich furnishings
and fashionable women and portly
men."
"Do you know why the men and
women come to the cafe?"
"I can see well what they are doing.
They nre eating and drinking."
"Do you know why they are eating
and drinking?"
'I suppose It Is because they are
hungry and thirsty."
"It Is a natural mistake, but such Is
not the rase."
"Do yon, then, O Sage, tell me why
they are eating and drinking."
"Because they are not hungry and
thirsty."
"You talk in paradoxes."
"Not at alt. You do not understand.
They do not know what it Is to lie
hungry and thirsty. If they were hun
gry and thirsty they would be In the
bread line or at home euting real food
Instead of dainties and confections
and drinking real water instead of
stimulants and narcotics "
"But you do not explain why they
eat and drink what they do not need."
"To show they have money and to
show they have time money to Bpend
in overindulgence nnd time to spend
In letting the effects wear off."
"And do they perform no useful ser
vice?" "No. To perform useful service Is
to produce, which 1b not respectable.
It l respectable only to consume."
Llf-
II- l-umd his l..-.i,l upon Ms hand
And thought vMi deep dismay
A Mull the thill'---- that lie must Ret
To ple on t'hristlims day.
"The eook." h- slyh.-d. "must have th
lu st
1 l:now how to sel.-.-t.
Or otherwise she'll ipilt. nrd then
Our household wtP In- wrerkeil.
"n,e serond c;Tt must have a fctft
'!'l lit wltl il. lluht her heart
' ir lie will frown upon my wife
And say thai they must part.
The man who tends the furnace he
Must be Upon the pat
Or else some frigid dawn the heat
That cheers us will ho mlased.
"Mv nfnYe Tmv tuns have a watch
)r a ten dollar hill
lf I should f.ul In this I'd have
A vacant plate to All.
The Janitor, the entflneer.
Tim elevator Ivivs
Will i-nll for tri'eite anil I munt
Add aomethltiv to thetr Joys.
"The waiter nt the rluh; the chef;
The man who hrltiKs the milk:
The R-arhpB man. the faithful con
Anil others nt that Itlc
Must nil he home In mind, so that
None may he overlooked "
And so the tin men of each and alt
With whut to Kive, he booked.
Ho ran his eyes ndown the list
And found It was romplete.
And thouifht ahout the Christmas hllla
Thnt would b" his to meet.
"Ataa!" he. wept, "it Is too built"
He ahed a hitler tear.
"I And I can n?Ti r I no irifts
1'or wife ami ehllilren dear!"
Wind.
"Did you ever get any dividends e
that tunnel stock you bought of th
man who was promoting a scheme (
bore a shaft tinder the river?" flsks the
mildly Interested friend.
"No," explains the other. "That tun
nel never wns dug."
"O, then It was merely nn air shaft
a hot air one. I mean "
Optical Delusion.
"Have you ever noticed how fat
women like to go about in crowds?"
asks the man with the thoughtful
eyes.
"You're mistaken about It; that's
all." explains the man with the uncer
tain whiskers. "When two or three
of them get together It just looks like,
a crowd lo you."
Cat Catches Burglar.
A woman burglar, her face heavily
veiled, and accompanied by a man.
whs scared away from the house of
John Callery, a wealthy coal dealer,
living In the Clifton Park section of
Weehawken. early the other morning
by a servant coming downstairs to let
In the cat.
The burglars had entered by a front
window, which they opened with a
Jimmy, and had pucked up all the sil
verware, table linen and cut glass
ready for removal when the servant
girl beard the cat crying outside the
kitchen door. As she canio down the
stairs to let the cut In she beard the
swish of a woiuwn's Bilk gown. Turn
ing up a light she found the parked
bundles ready to be taken away. She
ran to the front door and saw a man
and woman running down the street.
Kind'y Remembrance.
"Do you suppose Cook and Peary
will send Christmas remembrances to
each other?" asks the man who Is al
ways wondering about ihe most nnex
pected tilings
"Certainly." replies t lie man who
wants to finish his paper. "I don't
know what I'eary will send Cook, bvrt
I should think Cook would send Peary
a set of Instructions how to play that
old game of Copenhagen."
Noble Trait.
There is no nobler trait in our
American people thsa the big heart
ind the liberal hand. May Qod sav
ur country from Catnlsm and make
true followers of blm who Into
Murderous world brought a new spirit
ho spirit of brothtrly love. Rev. Er
test A. Tappert, Lutbu-aa. New Yc-'k
City.
Alfonso Enjoys Joke on Himself.
Alfonso of Spain has a tremendous
appetite; like any boy. he Is always
hungry. He Is far from handsome,
but like apy boy, again, he does not
give a rap about bis looks. A few
months ago, while motoring near La
Granfo, the king's appetite plagued
hlra and he halted at a wayside inn,
where he ate with much relish while
cracking jokes with the landlord and
a few peasants who happened to be
there, being unknown to tbem, of
course.
A little girl entered to buy wine for
her father.
"Tell me," said Don Alfonso to the
child, "have you seen the king since
be has been at La OranfaT'
"Only once," answered the girl
Tie bad on a beautiful uniform, but
ha Is very ugly."
Th king laughed and told th story
oa himself.
Peer Attention to Detail.
Critic "My dear air, your story
very much lacking In attention to de
tail. Her you say; 'He watched with
admiration th fashionable beauty as
she went up U street with free, grace
ful, swinging steps."1 Author ''Well
what's th matter with thatr "11 she
was a fashionable beauty, bow oould
ah walk that way todayT .
No Mint.
Vlt'S Gbb's ""Test. I Invvt-b'v
weigh iry wo-ds" Mr B'unt "We i
l a a.re.ret tnt yo ntv rver
teen accuaed of giving abort weight
Padding.
'Yes, It Is n fairly good poem," aa.van
tho rarpiing critic, after a hasty
perusal of one of Longfellow's ef
forts. "It Is really of merit, but th
trouble with It is that it Is so great
ly padded."
"Padded? Why, If doesn't appear
to me lo have mi unnecessary word
lu It. I don't see where you couM
omit a linn or a stanza without spoil
ing the sense of it." replies tire other-
person.
"But can't you see that It Is Mile
out with 'Kxcelslor?
The Back Fugue.
"What is that you are playing?"
ask of our friend, who Is pumping hi
pianola.
"That's a Pack fugue." he says.
"It doesn't sound much like Bach."
"1 didn't say Bach. I said Back
"Back?"
"YeB, B-a k, Back."
Never beard of such a "
"Of course not. It's my own Idoa.
I do It by running a porous plaster
through the pianola."
To Be Envied.
"Poor little Bobby Jones Is li;
again," said the kind mother. "Do you
not feel sorry for him?"
"No'ni," answered the truthful ohlld.
"I think Bobby Jones Is the Ifecklwst
boy lp this town."
"Why, Harold! . Lucky? To be IHr
"Yes'm. Kvuiy Thanksgiving a
Christmas an' birthday an" everything
else 'at his folk baa they let him eat
enough to make him sick next day."
4
His Mamory.
"Don't eat me, Mr. Crocodile! 8e.
my wife sent me shopping (or her a4
tied a knot In my handkerchief add
one In my tail so I would remember
my errand. She will fot-l
"She will churUh our memory, Mr,
Monkev."
Belter.
"Thar Is Mr. Gusher. It to'a
Lucy be would go to th end of th
world for her."
"What did she sy to thatr
"Asked him If he wouldn't father
take her aloug en a bridal trip."