snwra
BsEwSFisBaisH bessuS fflssssiBk.'' Mr
M vxr?.ffiffi!o; . .. reCrfrflsV
FIGHTING HIS BATTLES O'ER AGAIN.
Ellhu Candler, commander of the
3. A. R. post. In his town, was a very
busy man. The surviving veterans
bt his regiment were to have their
Annual reunion on the 23d and ar
rangements were all completed (or
lays of camp life. He was getting
anxious, however, about the tents
which were to be loaned his associa
tion by the State military depart
ment. It was now the 21st, the date
let for their arrival, and not even
the State armorer, who was to super
Intend the pitching of the tents,
had put In an appearance.
Capt. Candler telegraphed the
quartermaster general and received
a diBpatoh to the effect that the tents
had been Bent by freight several days
before. He then sought the freight
agent, who owned to a bill of tent
age, but who Insisted the goods had
been sidetracked somewhere en route.
Frantic with apprehension, Capt.
Ellhu Candler took his woes home to
pour Into feminine ears. They were
always at least sympathetic.
"Why don't you telephone the
"Never mindl He's company and
It'll please your pa; besides, here's
the summer nearly over and you
haven't had the worth of your best
dresses."
Elolse sighed as she listlessly at
tired herself In a dainty summer
frock. Two years at boarding school
and a two months' visit the preced
ing winter with a school friend who
resided in Buffalo had entirely con
vinced her that the society of Ashley
Hill was not to be desired. She re
called the dances, theatres and fire
side confidences she had enjoyed last
winter with Leonard Haverly, while
visiting her friend. He had been en
tirely devoted to her until she was
called Buddenly home' by the illness
of her mother.
She remembered the look In his
handsome eyes as he bado her fare
well at the train and the tenderness
in his voice when be eagerly asked
permission to write to her and begged
her to let him know of her safe
arrival and her mother's condition.
For the first two weeks after her rs-
laughed the commander, and be In
troduced the assistant quartermaster
general as such to the post, who bade
him a hearty welcome and to his
great amusement escorted him to the
hotel to the music of the "Star Span
gled Banner." rrtBTv
They gave him the bost the hotel
afforded and he then proceeded to
call the freight agent to time, secure
the tents and order the delinquent
armorer and a squad of workmen to
be up and doing at sunrise. It was
evident that the young colonel was
forceful. When Capt. Candler was
escorting him to his home he sud
denly exclaimed:
"I don't know your name yet. I
didn't catch It over the 'phone."
"Haverly. Leonard Haverly, I
don't know yours either."
"My name is Candler."
The young man started. "I won
der Is I haven't met your daughter.
Miss Elolse Candler?"
"Yes; she's my daughter. And
you know her?"
"I met her at Buffalo last winter
at the home of Miss Woodson."
"Well, don't that beat all! And
Elolse is expecting me to bring home
an old soldier!"
"I have been up at our camp
ground for a month," said the young
colonel presently, "and I knew noth
ing of your business transaction un
til you 'phoned to-day. I had a
clerk look It up and he simply gave
me the place the tents had been
billed to and the number of your
post I didn't notice your name."
They had now reached the Candler
residence and the captain ushered
his guest Into the dining-room.
"Oh, here you are, Elolse! Here s
someone you know. I'll go and tell
ma to dish up the supper."
As the captain left the room,
Elolse turned and beheld the ideal
of her girlish fancy. The color
quickly rose in her fair face, but she
gravely and courteously bade him
welcome, and then turned again to
the flowers she was arranging in the
centre of the table. "Papa expected
an old soldier," she said with a
alight smile.
'And are you sorry, Elolse, that I
came Instead?"
"No," she said, but In a very for
mal manner. 'I am very glad to
again meet a friend of Mabel's, I
have very pleasant recollections of
my visit in Buffalo."
He looked at her intently. He
was 'a wonderful man for action and
directness. "Elolse," ho demanded
suddenly, "why didn't you answer
my letter?"
'I have never received a letter
from you," she replied with some
Indignation in her accents.
"I wrote you the day I received
your note and directed it rs you
said, Boy No. 17."
She looked at him with Incredu
lous eyes. "I never received it." she
said Indifferently.
"Eloise," said Haverly, in low, re
proachful tones, "you don't believe
me, do you?"
"Yes," she said slowly. "I believe
you, but I wish I had received the
letter."
"Do you, really?" he asked eageri
ly. "Did you want to hear from mel
I felt awfully chagrined at not re
SOME FACTS ABOUT
Only Two New Species Produced in America.
By FREDERIC J. HASKIN.
flDcmortal Day
In Ific lost" lono ccb of oil.
1" tf)C i rjr vfjicl) oqIij I30W3 013c gucjN
Irj tb,at rjdrrow, silcr rjcill
I voodcr ij- Ifjcy cctg rjecir ro-day
fyi ri)e ctyidrajjaj frjcy come,
ffod )c riggirjo gofcj H)cif Hjc bugiej flmj
fya tfjc rollirjg of H3C drum.
i -woijdcr ij-, v)crc H)cy fare afar,
"fyy cat) $cc rhc flag fyat jliq
Wif!) Hjc glory-gleam of lt)c )Mpe arpd jtfir
M it flutter irj rhc 35. 1
If frjeij may tjo. look back to 115 to-day
"Whilc rhc trumpet callj resourjd,
fifid rh lily wrjik nrjd lje rojc uc lay
Oi) H)c myrtle-cohered mourjd-
I-worjder, too. ij rl)ey rjcciM.15 tell
In rhc tones of lotfe arjd.iridc,
' rjov? tfycij I Wed foruy,r hod fl)cij otiflrjd Jell;
qou rrjcij morqed away arjd dicn .
If'tfycu do rjotgeze vJitf) yr l)flij fljcj
fnd rrjcir rcjr 15 i)or more swecr
"U)lcrjtl)e mellow 501)0 of the bugle rise
rna1 tlc drums crcrjcly beat.
Cod rct tl)cm well! for a country trir
Anri rt roiinhrn,; hnbe rmrl rnme
frc jfjnrycd for'ayc irj tt)eir hallocH dut
rrjd surrourjd cacrj soldier's name'
God rest thm well! l to-day teij come
fy)d cat) see trjc rjearts 0 115
Beat olad in, tune witl) fly trjrobtii)o fTnim
Then tfyeir resr iS'Sjoriouj.
In spite of ths tlixdalnful and pa
trician expressions on the canine
countenances at a modern dog show,
indicative of countless generations of
social supremacy in the animal king
dom, the actual origin of the dog Is
more completely shrouded In obscur
ity than that of any of the domestic
animals. Naturalists are still wrang
ling over his parent stock, arguing
that It is almost impossible for the
186 known varieties 'to be all de
scended from, one kind, whatever It
might have been. The world of dog
lovers Is Indebted to America for the
production of only two new species.
Best known of these two Is the
Boston terrier, the little, round head
ed, brindled boll terrier which Is
good for nothing except ornamenta
tion. A little more than thirty years
ago Robert C. Hooper, of Boston,
purchased a nondescript little dog
from William O'Brien, also of Bos
ton. Tho newcomer was a halfbreed
bull and terrier of the fighting type,
dark brlndle In color, with a blazed
face. With this material Mr. Hoop
er went to work to produce a new
type, and by adding a golden color,
a milder Up and regulating the mark
ing on the head he at last produced
the Boston terrier. This breed is al
together American, but It has been
admitted to the shows only during
tho last ten years. For a long time
It was scornfully referred to by the
owners of the purer breed as "that
little bullet-headed pup from Massa
chusetts." Whether from patriotism
or genuine appreciation, the Boston
terrier Is now the most popular dog
in America, except the collie.
The other dog which America has
produced is tho Chesapeake Bay re
triever, the birth of which is as acci
dental and even more obscuro than
the Boston terrier. These dogs are
great favorites at the Carroll Island
Club, near Baltimore, as they are
water retrievers and can be used for
duck shooting. General Latrobe,
who has charge of the dogs of tho
Carroll Island Club, gives this story
of their origin: "A number of years
ago a vessel from Newfoundland ran
aground near an estate called Wal
nut Grove, on the shores of the Ches
apeake. The eBtate belonged to Geo.
Law, a member of a well known
Maryland family. On board were
two Newfoundland doga, which were
given to Mr. Law by the captain In
return for his hospitality. The Ches
apeake retriever is a cross between
those two dogs and the black and tan
nouncis, or coon dogs or that sec
tion." This dog is enormously popu
lar in the West, particularly In Port
land, Seattle and other points along
the Pacific Coast.
America has done much to push
the fad for the modern bulldog, for
the word has gone out to dog fan
ciers of very land that they cannot
be too monstrous or distorted to
please the Judges of an American dog
show. Each year their legs get fur
ther apart and their faces uglier. If
that Is possible. Dog fanciers are
now predicting a reaction in bulldog
breeding, which shall seek to re-establish
the original type of short
nosed mastiff which fought bulls In
Spain and England In 1800, then fell
Into such bad repte in 1835. The
first presentable bulldog shown in
j this country was sent from England
I in 1880.
General Lafayette sent the first
St. Bernard dogs to America. When
he came back. here in 1824 he met J.
F. Skinner, ex-Assistant Postmaster
General, who was at that time great
ly interested in dogs. With the aid
of General Lafayette he brought to
America some excellent spaniels, and
In 1830 General LafayeUe sent him
two big St. Bernards. THey were the
first of their kind that America had
Been, and the fad for them was in
stantaneous. The prices for big dogs
of all kinds immediately soared, and
as soon as St. Bernards were estab
lished the puppies sold for several
hundred dollars, and the full grown
The Social Worker.
dogs were proportionately high
priced. Now it is difficult to get $50
for a St Bernard puppy, and $100 Is
a rare price to get for any of the
breed.
It Is from this class that all the
biggest dogs eome. The largest ca
nine of which there 13 any record was
a at. Bernard named Giant Rector,
Who measured six and a half feet
from the tip of his nose to the tip of
his tall and measured thlrty-fonr and
a half inches to tho top of his shoul
der. He ras displayed all over the
country as the biggest dog In the
world. When he is compared with
the smallest of all toy dogs, a Mexi
can poodle, which measures . seven
inches from tip to tip and weight
only a few ounces, It is Indeed cause
for wonder if they came from the
same parent stock. The Great Dane
is a prime favorite with Americans.
and there are more of them in this
country tha of any other one breed.
When the Prince of Wale left this
continent after his memorable visit
ho wbb preBentod with Bn enormous
Great Dane, tho biggest that had
ever been seen at that time.
The highly cultivated dogs in this
country represent a considerable in
vestment of American capital, and
Borne of the kennels shelter canine
kings which are almost priceless. Un
til 1890, $1000 was the highest price
that had ever boon paid for an im
ported dog, John E. Thayer giving
that for a fox terrier, but later Rich
ard Croker bought a white English
bull which cost him $10,000. J. Pler
pont Morgan has the finest collection
of collies In tho world. The collie Is
undeniably the peer of dogs In Amer
ica, and has for years enjoyed un
challenged supremacy. Mr. Morgan's
kennels contain some of the most
perfect specimens of the fancier's art
and patience. His exhibits, with
thoso of Samuel Untermycr, of Yon
kers, N. Y., are sufficient to crowd
the halls of any show.
The toy dogs have never gained
the footing here which they maintain
in other countries, particularly In
France, though some of the very
small poodles are constant visitors
to the shows. Japanese poodles are
perhaps most favored. They were
brought here fifty years ago by Com
modore Perry when he returned
from his expedition to Japan. Dogs
are among the things which are in
dispensable as imperial presents, and
among the gifts brought by Commo
dore Perry from the Mikado to the
American President were four little
Japanese poodles. They and their
children were used aB "sleeve dogs,"
and weighed scarcely two pounds.
The cause for dogs being popular
gifts among royal persons dates back.
It Ib said, to the time of the Egyptian
kings, who used the animals as trib
ute. When the fashionable American
Woman wants to take up a dog fad
she adopts some particular breed,
preferably a bull terrier, or a collie.
A prominent New York woman who
makes a specialty of bulldogs, and
who travels a great deal, had the
head of her favorite bnMdog painted
on all her trunks as a sort of mono
gram. In New York there la a young
woman who paints only portraits of
fashionable dogs. She has a beauti
fully appointed studio, engagements
for sittings are booked weeks ahead,
ahd she finds making portraits of
these canine aristocrats not only en
joyable, bu. xceedlngly lucrative.
While many new breeds have been
produced during the past fifty yearb,
fanciers claim that a perfect dog has
nevor been seen anywhere. It is dif
ficult to understand what the stan
dard Is, it a perfect one, has never
been produced, but the training of
them will give the dog fanciers some
thing to do, and In the meantime
every honest man with a clear con
science will go on loving his own lit
tle dog, regardless of blemishes or
dog show points. New Orleans Picayune.
SALE OF DISSIPATION.
luartermastor general, papa?" ln
luired his daughter Eloise, a pretty,
tair-haired girl of nineteen.
"That's a good Idea, Elolse," be
laid. "I'll go down to the office now
ind Jerk them up down there."
In the course of two hours he re
turned flushed and wearied, but Ju
ollant. "I called up the capitol," he
laid, "and I got the assistant quartermaster-general.
I interested him,
train and come right down here.
He'll stay with us, of course, till we
go Into camp, so, ma, you want to
prepare for him."
"What's his name?" asked Mrs.
Candler. "I couldn't catch It over
the phone. He'B colonel, though. I
Sldn't get his regiment, either."
Mrs. Candler went to aBalst her
help" In the preparation of supper.
First, however, she bade Elolse go
and don one of her pretty white
tcowns.
"Oh, mother, what's the use?"
Eloise bad protested. "He's some
old soldier with a host of war stories
who won't know a calico from a
dimity."
TAPS.
New York World.
turn, her mother's Illness had ab
sorbed all ber thoughts, although Bhe
had penned him the little note as she
had promised. After the convales
cence she had eagerly gone to the
postoffice day after day, but the letter
in the longed-for handwriting never
came.
DeBpite her lack of Interest In her
poraonal appearance to-ntght, she had
never looked prettier than when she
came down to the dining-room to see
that the table was properly set. In
the meantime, the G. A. R. post and
a band were assembled at the depot
awaiting the coming of the train
and their distinguished guest. The
train brought but one passenger for
Ashley Hill, a beardless boy with
Bquare shoulders and military bear
ing, who looked with much astonish
ment at the multitude.
"I didn't suppose Ashley Hill
boasted of so large a population," he
thought.
Just then he was accosted by Capt.
Candler. "Say, young man, do you
happen to know if the assistant
quartermaster general was on your
trainT"
"Well, I guess I do!" was the re
ply, accompanied by a hearty laugh.
"I am the assistant quartormaster
general. Are you the commander of
tho post who talked over the 'phone
with me?
"That's me. You must excuse me.
You gave your title as colonel and
I got you set down In my mind as a
Civil War veteran. You see we old
soldiers are quite apt to forget the
young blood."
The assistant quartermaster pen
eral gave another his inspiring
laughs. "I am colonel by virtue of
my office aa assistant quartermaster
general, and I am assistant quarter
master general by virtue of being a
National Guard officer und a hustling
j politician."
J "Well, it's a good one on mi,"
celvtng a reply. I wouldn't write
again, because I put It In a return
envelope, and as It never came back
to me, 1 was confident you had re
ceived it."
They had now reached the busi
ness portion of the little village. In
front of the drug store stood a stout,
ruddy-cheeked man who stopped the
young couple. Elolse greeted and In
troduced him as Dr. Wardell. "I was
Just coming to call upon you, Elolse.
I have got a confession to make. My
wife got out my overcoat to-day to
see if tho moths were not inhabiting
it, and in a pocket she found this
letter addressed to you. I remem
ber now when your mother was sick
last winter, your father telephoned
me one day to stop at the postoffice
and get hiB mall on my way to the
house. I got several letters from
your box and this must have slipped
down In the lining." He handed
her the long-delayed letter.
"I am so glad," murmured Hav
erly, looking tenderly Into the soft
eyes of the smiling girl, when they
had walked on a few Bteps, "that you
aid you believed me before It was
proven to you."
And the next letter she received
from Leonard Haverly came duly to
hand ami heart. American Agriculturist.
Human Savagery to Be Had at Retail
in Every Large City.
Take Chicago, then, not because It
Is worse than or different from other
cities of America, but, on the con
trary, because It Is so typical, and be
cause it Is so well known. Why have
the primary basic guarantees of civil
ization broken down In Chicago?
Why has that city, year after year,
such a flood of violent and adventur
ous crime? The answer can be sim
ple and straightforward: Because of
the tremendous and elaborate organi
zation financial and political for
resting and attracting the criminal
In Chicago.
The criminal 1b a Bavage, nothing
more nor less. Civilization builds up
painfully our definite, orderly rules of
life work, marriage, the constant
restraint of the gross and violent im
pulses of appetite. The criminal sim
ply discards these laws and slides
back again along the way we came up
Into license, idleness, thievery and
violence. He merely lapses back Into
savagery.
To understand the matter of crime
Jin great cities, the first step Is to
measure the positive forces Working
continually to producesavagery there.
Theee forces rre to-day, as they al
ways have teen, greater thaa can
easily be Imagined.
The city from scarlet Babylon te
smoky Chicago has always been tho
gTeat market place of dissipation,
lu the Jungle : uu would call thlu
thing savagery. In the city there Is a
new Bide to it The dweller of the
city true to the Instincts of city life
baa made It a financial transaction.
He has found It a great source of
"gain, of easy money.
There has grown up, therefore, a
double motive In promoting it the
demand for the thing itself, and the
stimulus of the great profit In provid
ing It. You may call the sale oi dis
sipation In the city savagery by re
tall. ' Ethically considered, this thlug
is hideous beyond belief ; socially con
sidered it U suicidal But to be un
derstood and followed through intel
ligently It must first be considered as
such. There is no other way. That
is what I must recognize in describ
ing conditions in Chicago. I must
talk cold business, as the saying goes.
No emotion, no squeamishness, not
even sympathy; simply a statement
of fact. McClure's Magazine.
Herrings as a Sea Power.
To-day tho herring is hardly re
garded as a luxury. Indeed, it is
chiefly eaten by those who can afford
nothing else, and yet three billion of
these fish are needed to supply the
annual demand. How this Inexhaust
ible, limitless yield of the ocean has
swayed the destinies of nations is
strikingly set forth in an article by
Harold Bolce, In Ocean.
Despite the unremitting harvest by
predatory man and gull and canni
balistic cod and Bhark, the uncon
quered armies of herring still con
tinue to populate the Atlantic with
multiplying hosts.
The Atlantic has been aptly called
the "herring pond." Indelibly asso
ciated In tho past with the economic
and political history of Occidental
mankind, tho herring seems destined
to survive as one of the greatest fac
tors In the welfare of Western na
tions. To-day what the wheat crop
is to America the herring catch Is to
Northern Europe.
Few persons, even among the
masses that consume fish, realize Its
economic Importance. More than
three billion herrings are captured
annually, according to the latest es
timate. The weight of that annual catoh Is
over 750,000 tons.
It would require 25,000 freight
cars, each with a capacity of thirty
tons, to haul the herring harvest In
land from the Atlantic.
A young stick o! bauiboo stretch
ing its head above the ground looks
much llko a stalk ot asparagus, In
Japan these young shoots are as
much sought for food as Mparagus Is
tore.
QLKSXIOMNU.
By EDWABI) VII,LIHTON FRENTJ5.
It is greatly to the credit of tho
young women of to-day anw the
young men, too that v many of
them, when they come to the question
of an occupation, approach it from
the point of view not merely of In
come and a means of livelihood, hut
of usefulness and service to their fel
lows. This fme spirit Is now turning
many young women Into the field of
social, work, a field which is never
full, and which. It Is now perceived,
requires a better equipment than the
kind heart and willingness to work
that fw) once considered all-sufficient.
The opportunities of the "social
wofkor" are nnmerous and diverse.
There are positions, subordinate and
clerical, or snperlor-and executive. In
the public rbarltable Institutions of
city and State; secretaryships of chil
dren's aid societies, the management
of' departments in social settlements
and Institutional churches, district I
nursing, and, Indeed, almost as many
other avenues of service as modern
philanthropy has napped out In the
heart of man.
TJntfl lately tho girl who wished to
take np such work was obliged to be
gin without tralnlnjt or experience.
She simply began whore she could
find an opening, ,and U-nrned as rapid
ly as she conld. It was seen, how
ever, that this method gave one work
or but Uttle opportunity to benefit by
the experience of those who had gone
before her, and so was wasteful.
To meet this objection a number of
schools for social workers have been
established, where one can fit one
self thoroughly for this work; and
there are also summer schools atV
some of the universities where a be
ginning may be made. The foremost
of these special schools are that
which Columbia University maintains
In New York City, thnt which Chicago
University has established In the
Western metropolis, and that which
Simmons College and Harvard Uni
versity support conjointly in Boston.
The course is virtually the same in
all.
Admission la open, to candidates
who satisfy the directors, by their
proficiency in college courses which
prepare for the work, by their experi
ence In some form of social work, or
by other indication of fitness, that
they are likely to profit by the oppor
tunities offered. Tho fee varies as
does the tuition foe in other depart
ments of university work, but $100
may bo set down as a fair estimate.
The course usually covers'one year.
Since the purpose of It is the study
of charity, correction, neighborhood
work and kindred formB of social ser
vice, both under public and under
private management, the charitable
and correctional Institutions of the
city, the hospitals, public libraries
and police stations and courts aro
used as primary sources of Informa
tion, although there is also Instruc
tion throngh text-books and lectures.
Visits are made to local institutions,
and throughout the year each stu
dent, in addition to ber general work,
makes a personal study of somejiar
tlcular field. In order to train 'her
ptirer8 of observation and deduction.
So short an article as this has not
iMce even to name the great diver
sity of subjects considered; but mere
ly( by waj of illustration, one may
mention the social aspects of democ
racy, knowledge of standards of liv
ing, the family and ties of kinship.
Individual treatment of Individuals,
sanitary measures and housing legis
lation, recreation, hygiene of oocupn
tjon, labor organizations, social work
of the church, country outings, trav
elers' aid, boarding houses, drunken
ness, cooking, tho use of public li
braries. The graduate of one of these
schools finds be work but a contin
uation and extension ot some one of
her studies. So rapidly has come
the recognition of the value of clas
sified knowledgo and experience In
this great field of effort that the
schools for social service now act
somewhat as clearing houses for va
cant positions and applicants who
wish to fill them.
The demand for trained and com
petent workers in the various public
and private charities is constant, and
Is increasing rather than decreasing.
Payment, of course, depends both
upon the nature of the work and the
character of the position. In the
lower places, where the duties aro
largely clerical, the wages compare
favorably with those paid to type
writers and stenographer.". In posi
tion where more Initiative and ex
ecutive ability are demanded the sal
aries are about the same as those paid
to public school teachors in the gram
mar grades of the large cities. Heads
of institutions may receive anywhere
from $2000 tp $5000 a year.
Perhaps the most attractive thing
about social work Is the certainty
that no well-trained and competent
young woman will remain long ont of
a position, and the feeling that the
work by which one earns one's dally
bread Is a help to the community ard
a Bervlce to mankind; that one "is
doing some good In the world."-
Youth's Companion.
Two torturing question vex ray ectrL
Ana daily tux rny neli control.
I fight their fiucinttion fell
Until I feel I muiit compel
An answer willy-nilly.
Jiint two there lire here's number one
(One after that and I have done),
Did Hhnkeapeare e'er hi ma annoy,
And did ahe lick her darling boy,
And did he call him "Willie?"
But this conundrum' not the worst.
Although I've told it to you firat.
Another question fills my brain,
And causes me much mental strain
It fairly makes me dizzy.
You've heard of Queen Khsnbeth,
Who brought about Oueen Mary's death.
Now did hor father, Henry VIII.,
Let his ymintt dsugnter sit up late,
And did lie call her "Lizzie?"
Bomerville Journal. 1
Degree of Bachelor of Antomoblling.
Indicating unmistakably the rapid
growth of automobillng la the atti
tude ot the leading universities in
beginning to give special attention to
a subject of widespread interest and
the greatest value to the welfare of
the country, for It means the solving
of quick transportation for the indi
vidual lu and about cities and towns
and even across States and into for
eign countries. Add to this the dis
tribution of all kinds of freight and
business traffic, and the magnitude
of the automobile Industry ap
proaches a degree second to none in
the development ot the Republic.
There will also be added to the cur
riculum ot the colleges a department
on roadmaklng and the graduating
of xperlencd roadbullders, for the
Improvement of the highways Inevit
ably follows in the wako of the motor-driven
vehicle. Even now a Pa
cific Coast uulverslty is to add a
course on roAdbullding, providing ita
tato leglsl'.tors are agreeable, which
seems to be assured In advance,
'Automobile.
your
man.
"I'm
Mother "What's the last name of
that, little boy you play with?" Tom
my "His name's Willie. Boys don't
have any 'last' names." Detroit
Free Press.
Jimmy "Aw, no wonder ycr kin
lick me yer two years older'n me."
Mickey ' Well, come round when
ycr as old as mu an' I'll lick ycr den,
too." Judge.
"Scrlhbly mnst Intend starting a
mngnzlne." "What makes you think
So?" "He told me he had n schema
to get his stnff published." Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
For rheumatism take a lice,
Then pet it;
Tlie sling Is recommended, and
You lict it a
Will either euro the pain or you'll
Forget it.
Philadelphia Ledger. 1
Mrs. Goodley "Gracious! Just
listen to that clergyman! I'm posi
tive he's swearing. Evidently he's
missed his vocation." Mr. Goodley
"No; I think it was his train." Phil
adelphia Press.
"Do you ever think of
youth?" asked the first old
"You bet I do;" said No. 2.
still paying Interest on some debts I
contracted before I was old enough
to know bettor." Detroit Free Press.
"Ruggles, I congratulate you on
that bequest from your deceased un
cle. You'll be able now to buy an
automobile." "To buy an automo
bile, Ramago? Great Scott! I'll be
able to keep one!" Chicago Tribune.
Caller "I'd think that your fath
er's duties as building inspector
would be awfully dangerous, going
round unsafe buildings." Small Son
of the limine "Oh, no; he doesn't
go near 'em till after they fall
down." Life.
1 Sunday-school Teacher "Who can
tell me the meaning of the word 're
pentance?' " (A pause.) Sunday
school Teacher "What is it that we
feel after we have done something;
wrong?"' Little Willie "Papa'g
slipper." Judge.
Labor had been Invited to dine
with Capital. "Now you see we are
all equal," remarked Capital genially,
to his guest. "No-o," responded La
bor doubtfully, "you have the advan
tage of knowing which fork to use."
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Is there n man in this broad land
Who never to a friend has Bald?
"Old man. I have a remedy
That'll cure that cold in your head?
Assistant Editor "Here's a poem
from a fellow who Is serving a five
years' term in the Eastern Peniten
tiary." Managing Editor 'Well,
print it with a footnote explaining
the circumstance. It may serve as a
warning to other poets." Philadel
phia Record.
"It appears to me," remarked the
tourist, "that the superficial aspect
of your community Is misleading as
an Index of Its sterling basic quali
ties." "Stranger," Bald Three-finger
Sam, "if you're goln' to linger around
here you want to talk qulcker'n that.
Too many men has been accuBin' oth
ers of falsifyln' an' gettin' away with
It under cover ot big words." Wash
ington Star.
ad?" 1
England's Currency.
"Clergyman," writing to the Scots
man as a victim, -warns the public to
beware of the cardboard threepenny
pieces, sixpences, shillings, evon sov
ereigns, that are being plentifully,
distributed to children by venders of
sweetmeats, etc. "Twice I have been
grieved to find this 'paper money' in
the church plate, and to-day, among
a handful of change given to me by a
shopkeeper, I discovered an appar
ently new but entirely worthless shil
ling. No one can quarrel with the
Ingenuity displayed lu tho manufac
ture ot these 'coins.' They are abso
lutely perfect to look at. It Is only,
when the victim begins to count his
money on his rethrn home that he
discovers 'weighty' reasons for re
jecting them as legal tender. In my
opinion, their issue should be mrde
Illegal." Loudon Globe.
Whew Rubber Grows Hot.
When an automobiles is running at
high speed tho rubber tires are rap
idly warmed, and the heat sometimes
becomes very great, with resultant
injury to the rubber. The cause ot
this accumulation of heat In the Ure
1b ascribed to the, kneading of the
rubber, which generates heat fuster
than it can be radiated away. For
this reason manufacturers have
found it to be an advantage to have
metal parts in the tread, such as the
ends of rivets. In contact with the
tire because the metal, being a good
radiator, helps to carry off the beat
to the outer air. Philadelphia Record.
How to Breathe.
This essay was the work of a boy
ot nine:
"Breath is made out of air. We
breathe with our luWt. our lights,
air livers and our kidneys. If U
wasn't for our breath we would die
when we slept Our breath keeps the
life agoing through the nose, whea
we are aslesp. Boys that stay la a'
room all dsr should not breathe. I
They should wait till they get, out-
doors. Boys in a room make oar
bonlclds. Carbtmtclde U ths most'
poisonous of living tutnas, dtad at
alive." Milwaukee Wisconsin.