The Fulton County news. (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, May 23, 1906, Image 3

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PINDLES ana
looms were tiusli
ed. stores nnil of-
Decs closed, nn J
llie busy working
world nt rest and
freedom, for It
was Decoration
liny In a great
Eastern " city.
Tills whs God's
day tlie day of
His deuu; America's day the day of
her heroes: the Union's dny-the day
of her defenders; yen, Dixie's day and
the day of her mnrtyrs! For did they
not nil suffer and die alike, according
to conviction? Was the young life of
a rebel worth less to his land. and his
mother than that of his brother or
cousin who lived north of Mason and
Dixon's Hue und wore n blue uniform
Instend of a gray one? Were they not
"fed with the same food, hurt with the
same weapons, subject to the same dis
eases, healed by the same means,
warmed and cooled by the same sum
mer and winter?" And was it not high
'time, as well as a beautiful reassort
mcnt of humanity, that all such sep
nratenoBS of Interests was forgotten,
and the ugly scar of Its former exist
ence covered up with flowers?
It was late In the afternoon. The
front city was almost deserted, for Ks
respective millions had flowed forth
to the silent, pleading cemeteries, laden
with blossoms for the sleepers, heart's-
"He Got Killed in the First Battle."
ease and forget-me-nots. The cere
monies were over, and the murmuring,
urging tide turned homeward, lu
front the Grand Army of the Itepubllc
bristled and towered, with rlbbona and
medals on uniformed breasts; the Pres
ident of these United lyes, uultedl
States, with Cabinet officers tu sol
emn dignity; the Governor and
his staff, scarcely less Impressive;
and holiday, and then the people
s.arred veterans, gray-haUed ond
tremulous, buoyed up almost to second
youth by fife and drum and marshaled
pageantry; military companies, rank
and file, knapsack, canteen, rifle and
accoutred belt. tWUi duaty feet and
flushed, tired faces, surface slgus of
the Inward significance of war disci
pline, duty, muster and forced
marches; Mayor, Council and Alder
men, In atald municipal dignity; mount,
ed police force; distinguished citizens
casual lookers-on In public cabs, chat
tlug and laughing, forgetting that Dec
oraUon Day means aught but flowers
eager, pushing, crowdlug, Jamming; the
mob and rabble -striving, perspiring,
toward street car and open highway
Off from the line of march, upon the
.uu.iuB. was an old woman
crying. Her dress was shabby, hands '
.w.-uuiuuueu, uer leetn none
liar thin vra li. .u,i . '
of to-day ran down the beaten track of
vuU 10 iuo sat and
wept, while the great people marched
banda played, gayly caparisoned horses
pranced and tho rabble ahrlekta and
fit 1. . X
Wr-fk
mxtrir.
mm
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V. A. M
3l
memorial 7ay
A child looked from a carriage win
dow a pink-cheeked, well-dressed girl
of ulne or ten years of age. There
was none In the carriage except her
self and a middle-aged nurse woman.
Higher up the little face rose over the
wheels, a flutter of yellow curls, blue
ribbons and brood hat brim, and Im
periously above the noise of men and
wheels a shrill, sweet childish voice
called "Stop:"
She must have been a spoiled child,
for the solemn driver obeyed distantly.
The nurse remonstrated, but the big
"Put Some Posies on Jim's Grave."
hat bobbed up and down determinedly.
and two little hands gesticulated to
ward the old woman. The carriage
turned out of tlie road, the footman
leapt down and opened the door, and
a bundle of white skirts, black hose,
blue ribbons and yellow curls fluttered
over und around the old woman,
"What makes you cry?"
"They didn't put no posies on Jim's
grave!" the cracked, puthetlc voice an
swered. "Who's Jim?"
"My Jim "
"Was he a soldier?"
"Yes. I kuowed It waru't fur no
good" (by this time a crowd had gath
ered around the speakers) "when he
'listed. Says I, 'Oh. Jeems, don't go!
They'll ouly put you pore boys lu front
fur the rebels to shoot at. Tbur's
all I got! Dou't go, Jlmmle!' But he
would go. He hud got buttons an'
plenty more soldiers In York. You're
stripes lu his eye, an' off be put, al
mos' 'fore I could get his clothes fixed.
An' I never seen III m uo morel He
got killed In the fust battle he fit, au'
now they dou't think enough uv blui
to put no posies on his grave!" with re
newed sobbing.
The child stood like an avenging god
dess, her bead thrown up, looking at
tlio approaching column,
on her cheeks which started In pity
and rolled off In righteous Indignation.
"It's off a bit to Itself."
' "Mi '
I ' '1 - -
The child Interrupt.) lit.
"That's the reason," id; "they
didn't see It." " " " '
She sprang to the main road, wnere
the police had cleared pannage for the
procession. Up the open ulslc she sped,
like d bird skimming the ground, and
wns right In front of the grand mar
shal before any one could stop her
her hut, fnlleu off, suspended on her
shoulders by Its ribbons, the tears still
dashing on her flushed cheeks.
Stop!" she cried, and the gruwj mar
shal obeyed, else she would have been
trampled to death tinder his norm'
feet. Something lu the child's nlr told
liliu that what slip had to say w
worth hearing. The column behind
had halted und Jerked, head had Keen
thrust out of carriage windows and
orderlies galloped nn ahead. The bund
stopped playing, the people listened ti
hear what the mutter was. and tne
grand marshal's horse pranced und
fretted, while Ills rider asked:
"What do you want?"
"You forgot a grave!-' a clear, small
voice replied.
"Whose grave?"
"Jim's.'
"What do yon mean?"
"Jim I don't know ttu other
nnnie. but bis mother does. There she
sits crying because you didn't put any
flowers on his grave. Jim was a sol
dier. I told her you didn't menu to
slight her. Jim hns a right to Mowers
on his grave, and" rendy to cry. but
still undaunted "you'll have to go
back and put some on It!"
Then there wns a yell. Such a yell
of applause! The voice of the people,
the keynote of our great democratic
Constitution!
The grand marshal called bis orderly,
and n whispered conversation tool;
place. The orderly lifted the child tc
his pommel and galloped across to the
old woman. Her tottering. Ill-clad form
wns helped Into the carriage with
the child. Beside them rode the or
derly, and behind them the grand mar
shal, reining In to suit their slower
gait his restive, prancing charger. The
line of march reversed, the bunds re
sumed their playing, and back It crept
the Great Army of the Republic to
"put some posies on Jim's grave."
Belle Hunt.
A llronct "i.lrll.
It Is In a broad spirit thnt the results
of the Civil War must now be accepted
If the Inherit beauty of the Memorial
Day ceremonies are to be maintained.
The great results of the prolonged
strife are now apparent to every one
with eyes to see; only the must narrow
nnd bitterly partisan In spirit remain
blind to the beneficent ospects of tho
wor. And the God's acre In which the
dead soldiers He Is doubly consecrated
by their dust, while the lesson of theh
lives Is becoming an nll-embrnclng one
What's hallowed ground? 'Tis what gives
birth
To sacred thoughts in souls of worth!
i'eacel Independence! Truth! go forth
Karth'i compass round;
And your high pneothood shall make
earth '
AH hallowed ground!
TOTHEnSOLDER
DEADflB
"3yixErvie.s cNeal Igor.
Sfilli receWe our lyric praije,
tOho, o'er battle' fiery ya,
Through unresting night and days
Bore the banner of the free!
Bring Oe lilliej, pure aj jnovJ,
Or the burboje of the f rate,-
Ro5e5, crimjon 03 the glovJ
Of theblood you freely gav'e,-,
oIet3,"With teadfajt hue,
Symbol of unchanging truth,
AU the White, the red, the blue
Sbeahjhe flag that jummo youth.-
5ummon5 youth to dore and die
for an unseen, ideal thing,
Lining, betwixt earth and sty.
In that banner fluttering.
May "it ever livte supreme,
While, hhe you. the bravte and bure
See the Uijion and the Dream,
Keef) the Flag ond State jecurel.
-
I.
1 wiT-UKi
IS
Govsriiniunt Maeomlnv lnlrti1
THE press dispatches announced
some days ago that Postmaster
General Cortelyou had become
so far Interested In the subject
of good roads as to agree to co-operate
with officials In Illinois lu measures to
Oe taken for their Improvement lu that
State. We are not advised as to the
authority the Postmaster-General may
have In this direction; perhaps he linl
none, and only now Intends his good
offices In the matter, but It is encour
aging to the friends of National aid tc
road Improvement to know that ao dls
tlngulshed a member of the Admluls
tratlon Is even looking Into the sub
Ject. This Is all thnt Is needed to gel
the men of affairs to studying alotn
the line of the Brownlow-Latlmer good
roads bill. The necessity for road im
provenicnt Is everywhere uppnrent
How to get them improved has been t
problem since the country's earliest
days. The States have handled th
trouble lu almost as many different
ways as there are States, and yet
the roads are no better than forty,
fifty or sixty years ago. In fact,
many of them have gone from bad to
worse until present hlghwoy condi
tions, taking tho country over, are
simply Intolerable, and the time hns
come Is here now when something
must be done to relieve the sltuntlon.
The annual loss to American farmers
because of bad roads amounts to more
than ono-littlf billion dollars. Does
any sane man propose to say that this
dreadful drain Is not a National men
ace; that it will not directly destroy
National prosperity, and tear down the
American farm home the bulwark of
National Integrity and of National life?
It Is time for the people to go after the
Nation's lawmakers, the Senators and
Representatives In Congress, and press
the demand for relief from these un
happy conditions. Wo Bhnll have no
systematic road Improvement until wo
have National co-operotlon with the
States, and we shall not have this
National aid until the people demand It
of Congressmen and those who aspire
to be Congressmen. It Is a mighty
good plan to ask for a thing when one
wants It, and we believe the people
have a right to demand expression on
this road question before the Congres
iloual elections are held this year.
The Roads In Florliln.
The good beginning is half the battle.
When we have a graded highway on
the East Coast from Miami to Jack
sonville, Palatka and Ocnla and
Gainesville will hasten to make a cir
cuit by Joining connection, there will
be an extension to Tampa and we shall
have a new Florida as soon as the
West sends down her long arm from
Pensucolu. Do we remember what a
boom we had as soon as the system of
railways became certain? Expect an
other when the system of highways Is
no longer doubtful. Of course, every
thing would not be done in a day, but
Borne would not have been built had
not Romulus gone to work and left
the plan behind him.
Now, don't you forget that It Is only
the natural kindness of the State
Health Officer and his innate gentle-
! uess that make him "recommend" the
cleanliness that is next to godliness
and the precautions necessary for
health and useful living. He prefers
the gentle touch, but If this is not ef
fective he has the steel glove, and the
whole population of this State and
every friend of Florida everywhere
give weight to the blow when he la
compelled to strike. - Listen to his rec
ommendations, however, take bis ad
vice and he will roar you as softly as
a sucking dove and smile as sweetly
as your mother while he turns a flood
of fire and water on your premises and
drives you to the woods with bis for
maldehyde and other big words. And
he Is all right every time better smell
than microbes.
A friend from West Florida says he
came East to look up those highways
we have been talking about. He
wanted an automobile, and choffe one
he would buy If the agent would take
him on a spin to Miami by way of
teaching the Management and proving
Its usefulness. And then he was
amazed to be told thnt we couldn't
go anywhere except on car or boat
that we bad no decent rond that would
carry an auto out of hearing of Big
Jim. And he came around to ask the
newspaper boys whether the garage
was fooling him for a tenderfoot. Said
he: "I thought the East Coast did
things, and I first read of this road
from Miami to Jacksonville when I
was courting my wife." Well, "all
things come to those who wait." Jack
sonville Times-Union.
A Bad K.anll.
One of the results of bad wagon
roads Is that life on the farm becomes
isolated and barren of social enjoy
ments and country people lu some
communities suffer such great disad
vantage that puibltlon Is checked, en
ergy weakened and Industry puralyzed.
Common sense sums up for us the
benefits of good roads. Like good
streets, good roads make habitation
along them most desirable; they econ
omize time and force In transportation
of products, reduce wear and tear on
horses, harness and vehicles, and en
hance tho mnrket value of real estate.
They raise tho value of farm lands and
farm products to the producer and yet
cheapen the lutter to the consumer who
now buys from tho middleman, and
they always beautify tho country
through which they pass; they facili
tate rural mall delivery and are a
potent aid to education, religion and
sociability.
For Interrupting Solilleri.
During November last one Yl Poong
tm, a clerk in a country post office, In
flicted soino Injury upon a Japanese
who was sent to supervise him and
was accordingly anoeted by Japanese
gendarmes,
Mr. Pak Che Sun, the acting Prime
Minister, recently asked that the of
fender be handed' over to the Corean
Court for trial, but, in the words of
our translator, the Residency-General
baa replied that "the man was killed
by this office as he Interrupted ur
oldlers." Corean Dally. Newt,
Indignant Itomans hnnged the bogus
soothsayers who did not predict the
destruction of Pompeii and Hoicu'
?um. '
The making of luclfer matches Is a
State monopoly In France, Spain, Por
tugal, Italy, Greece, Rouinanla. and
Servla.
The outside walls of many of the
houses In Mexico are from three to Mix
feet thick, to withstand earthquake
shocks.
ratagonlan llamas live for years
without tasting water, nnd a breed of
cows nenr Ixisore, Franc?, and noted
for tho rlchuess of the milk, takes It
very 'rarely.
Thread made from the sphWs web
Is lighter nnd stronger than that which
comes from tho silkworm. In Franco
there Is n factory used only for the
manufacture of spider thread.
George Itoss, postmaster at nan
cock, Texas, who was appointed by a
Republican administration, Is a county
commissioner elected as a Democrat, a
Justice of the peace elected as an Inde
pendent, and a school trustee for the
precinct.
"Knmala" Is the vernacular nume of
the red dye produced from the glands
of the mature fruit of a tree named
Mullotus Philllpinensls. The tree is
also called the "monkey-face tree," be
cause monkeys paint their faces red by
rubbing them with the fruit
Henry Ileatherfleld, of Cardiff,
Wules, was accused of stealing lead
from a roof, and broke Jail and fled.
After ho hud traveled 20,000 miles he
rurrcudered and was tried 011 the
charge of theft and acquitted. But ho
was held for trial for escaping from
prison.
Mrs. Effle Place, of North Manches
ter, owns an Enster egg fifty-two years
old, says the Indianapolis News. It
.was colored a dark red on Easter Sun
day, 1854, but the color has faded to a
pink. Tho shell Is still well preserved
and bears the name of her mother,
Mrs. Eliza Miller.
The world's most remarkable book,
at least so far as appearance Is con
cerned, Is lq the National Library of
Paris. The letters ure cut out of tissue
paper with a pair of scissors. Each
sheet of blue tissue, out of which the
letters are cut, Is placed between two
pages of white, and so the matter Is
easily read.
The tallest people are the Polyne
sians, that island race which Includes
the' natives of Samoa, New Zealand,
the Marquesas and Hawaii. The aver-,
age man stands five feet ten Inches,
whereas the average American man's
stature is five feet seven Inches. The
shortest people are the bush men of
Africa, whose height is but four feet
four inches.
Sir John Brunner has arranged for
the town of Wilmington, "Norwich,
England, what is called "a bonus
scheme for healthy babies." Every
birth will be reported upon, and at the
end of twelve months Sir John Brun
ner will make a grant of twenty shill
ings to the mother or the guardian of
each child that has made satisfactory
progress. The object of the scheme is
to reduce the Infant mortality.
Cat and Bat Ship's Fata.
A sailor approached the officer of the
deck after retreat on board of the
Chicago and said, saluting: "Sir, may
I have the permission to go to the
Saturn?"
"What for?" said that officer.
"To get the cat," was the reply.
The cat Is the pet of the ship. When
the flagship went to Hllo the cruiser's
cat stayed behind to get acquainted
with the cats of the tropics. He evi
dently got pretty well acquainted, for
when the cruiser returned and "the
cat came buck' ho was a battle
scarred veteran.
Beside the cut the battleship boasts
a rat. Not a plague rat, but a white
rat straight from Bremerton, Wash.
Thnt rat Is also a pet, and Is a glossy,
well-fed, well-munnered rodent, as
white as driven snow. The sailor who
seems to be his special guardian says
that the more he pounds the rat the
better he likes him. He crawls all
over the boys, takes his cigarette
smoke like a Spanish senorita and
makes himself quite at home wherever
he Is. But he never gets "shore leave."
It is a peculiar thing that the cat
and the rat are the best of . friends.
Once in a while the rat gets a little
too familiar to suit his catshlp and
bites the cat's Hps with bis sharp
teeth. Then the cat Just looks pained
and turns up his eyes to the boys for
sympathy. lie never seems to think;
of such a thing as eating up his com
panion. If he did tho boys would soon
teach him better manners, no doubt
Honolulu Commercial Advertiser.
Wot That Klud or Sulti.
A dilapidated person rang a West
Philadelphia doorbell and asked the
lady of tho house, a lawyer's wife,
whether she had any old suits.
"Go to see my husband at his office,"
she answered. "His are mostly old.
He's had one of them I know for more
than twenty years." The tramp looked
discouraged. Philadelphia Record.
Tha Fanaltj.
Pending a settlement of those dif
ferences of opinion as to whether or
not poverty Is a crime, the usual pen
alty will continue to be imposed.
Puclt
A company has been formed to un
earth a monster meteor which fell at
Holbrooke, Arizona. It is estimated
that the meteor contains gold, stiver
ud lead worth more than (2,000,000.
lptibricefl
$ l
An efficient tool room Is a requisite
of a good shop. The machines lu this
department should be high-class, oth
erwise their Imperfections will be re
produced In the tools. In the larger
shops it Is the duty of the toot room
not ouly to see that certain tools are
on hand for doing the work, but to see
what Jigs or other fixtures could be
made to cheapen production, and to
consider in general ' the best way to
handle any special Job.
Very Important improvements of the
North Sea Canal from Amsterdam to
the North Sea are In progress and are
expected to be completed In the course
of 1U07. When finished, the canal will
be considerably wider and deeper, and
altogether better navigable for the
lurgest class of steamers.
Aluminum and lend will not alloy.
They mix when melted, but separate
when cooling.
Canadian mica has been Increasing
steadily In value from 18'.)3 to the pres
ent time, and that of India has been
almost as steadily decreasing In value;
so thnt, where In 1S05 the Imported
value of Indian mica was nenrly three
times thnt of Canadian mica. In 1004
Canadiun mica stood higher than In
dian. More than sixty years ago Mosor no
ticed Uiat certain bright metals emit
rnys capable of affecting photographic
plates and of passing through thin
screens of pnper, etc. Continuing the
Investigation, Professor H. Plltchlkoff,
of the University of Charkow, has now
found that some metals give off rays
that decompose the silver bromide of
the photographic film, and others that
restore the decomposed bromide. He
names these radiations "positive" and
"negnUve." Most metals, Including
cadmium and zinc, are poslUve; os
mium and tantalum are negative; cop
per and brass have a neutral radia
tion, with no action, and gold and
mercury give off no radiation at all.
The radiaUon H deflected by nlr cur
rents, but Is not affected by electric or
magnetic fields. One suggestion Is that
It may be a kind of heavy metallic ions
peuetraUug thin metal and human
skin.
Tantollte, the metnl recently em
ployed In Germuny for making an Im
proved filament for electric lamps, has
found another use. Messrs. Siemens
and Halske have produced pens of tan
tollte which are said to be at the same
time harder thnn steel and more elas
tic than gold. Tantallte Is very resist
ant to chemicals. It is iho Intention to
employ this metal for the manufacture
of various kinds of tools. '
Some years ago the addition of mois
ture to furnace-heated air was found
by Dr. II. J. Burnes, of Boston, to
make a room comfortable at a tempera
ture several degrees lower. In his re
cent investigation in Southeastern Na
braska, G. A. Loveland has shown that
the air of a house of 14,000 cubic feet
should receive from twenty to forty
quarts of water dally, and that this
evaporation does not Increase the rela
tive humidity by more than ten per
cent. The humidity Indoors should
not exceed about forty por cent, oth
erwise there will be troublesome con
densation on the windows.
SPIDER THAT EATS BIRDS.
Llvat In tha Form! of tha South American
Troplo.
There has Just been deposited In the
Insect house at the zoo a specimen of
the bird eating spider, which earns
Its name by occasionally Including In
its menu some of the brilliantly hued
humming birds and varicolored finches
of the South American tropics.
It is doubtful whether the silken
threads which he spins In profusion
constitute his most effective tackle
tor securing his prey; Indeed, it Is
more probable that the little birds
get caught through alighting upon tho
buuana and other leaves. In the twisted
folds of which the spider makes bis
home. The similarity of his coloring
to the bark of trees, to which he at
taches himself, is also a powerful
factor lu enabling him to approach his
prey.
The silken threads which help to en
snare so many beautiful birds are 0
serious annoyance to the traveler when
riding or driving through tho less fre
quented forests. As they continually
strike the face, one is reminded oi
some fiendish motor trap on the Sup
rey roads.
The bird eating spider is much small
er, although not less ferocious In ap
pearance, than the famous tarantula.
The body of a full grown tarantula ll
as big as a hen's egg, and on an aver
age It gives from twenty to forty
yards of silk, the weaving of which
was expected at one time to prove a
very considerable Industry lu some of
the Australian colonies. The silken
output of the bird eating spider ll
greater in proportion. London Dally
Gruphic.
An Indian's SloloUua.
A pathetic story, afterward proved a
true one, was the Incident told by a
party of miners, lu which it was re
lated that these miners had come
ucross a space among the trees that was
cleared of snow, on one side of which a
small wood fire was burning. In the
middle of the clearing lay an old In
dlun, who had been cast uslde by his
tribe to die. Investigation shows that
it 18 the invariable custom of the In
dian tribes that haunt the flats of
southern Nevada, when they perceive
signs of a final weakness in any Indi
vidual of their number, to leave him
behind to die. They place a small
amount of food at his side and pro
ceed upon their Journey, while he
who is left on the doorstep of the
happy hunting grounds obeys his fate
with the stoicism of the old-time Angel
lauta. This particular Indian lived for
nearly two weeks before death over
came him, steadfastly refusing succor
from any and all who sought to re
lieve him.
Lota of 'Em Do,
Some people lost sight of the fact
that of two evils It Isn't always ueces
dary to choose either. Puck, ....
CRANDMAMM.
In words of bsnntinf melody
The poets all have sung
The praues of thoae diitant days .
When grsndamma waa young.
They love to dwell upon tha times
Of lavender and lace.
And how the crown of anowy hair
Once framed a youtnnu xace.
To-day our search is sll in vain
I
for apeetnciea ana rap.
Nor does she wile the hours away
With knitting on her lap.
And ao I would attune, my lyre
As round the world has rolled
And sing a still more bygone day
When grandmamma was old.
New York Sun
"My do took first prize at a cat
show." "How was that?" "He took,
the cat." Judge.
The Burlier "Did you?" The Victim
"Did I what?" The .P.nrber "Get
that hair cut nt a clipping bureau?"
Chicago Daily News.
It is ensy for a mnu to arouse sus
picion. One way is to appear absent
minded when his wife looks particu
larly pretty In a new dress. Tampa
Globe.
Cholly "Id nevah marry a woman
who was more clevuh than myself, y
know." Dolly "So you've decided te
remain a bachelor, eh?" Cleveland
Leader.
There once was n girl, Mary Shedd, J
Who'd frequently stand on her head;
One ev'iiing iier beau
Asked why lie Hid ao.
"Oh, jujt to be ditt'rent," she said.
Denver Post.
"Young man," snld the friendly ad
viser, "whatever you do, avoid debt."
"I guess that's what I'll have to do."
was the answer, "unless my credit
gets better." Washington Star.
"I am told, professor, that you have
mastered nearly all of the modern
languages." "All but two. My wife's
when she talks to the baby, and the
railroad brakemau's." Milwaukee Sen
tinel. Those who say a young girl has noth
ing to worry about forget that her
brothers don't wash their hands, and
that her father sometimes sits around
with his collar and shoes off. Tampa
Globe.
Miss Knox "Yes. he actually said
your cheeks were like roses." Miss
Passay (coyly delighted) "Oh, come,
now, that's laying It on pretty thick."
Miss Knox "Yes, he remarked that
about it, too." Philadelphia Press.
Bobble-'Tapa, what is graft?" Papa
"It is getting something because
you're in a position to get it." Bobbie
"Then am I grafting when you place
me over your knee In a position to
get It?" Judge.
Father (sternly) "Now, Sophia,
something must be done to reduce your
expenses,. You are actually spending
more than your allowance." Daugh
ter "It isn't my fault, father. I've
done my best to get you to increase
it." Brooklyn Life.
Our shafts of wit at her we dart
And mnke our jokes about her,
But at all times, bless her heart.
We couldn't do without her.
Tom "I always hate to pass an Ice
cream saloon when I'm walking with
mv srlrl." Dick "I never happened to
pass one." Tom "Get out! How do
you manage It?" Dick "I don't man
age It; she does. She always insists
upon going In." Philadelphia Press.
Mr. Tltewodd "Didn't I give you a
penny for doing that errand for me?"
Johnny Jones "Yes, sir." Mr. Tlte
wodd "Well, what do you say?"
Johnny Jones "Please don't make me
say It. Ma told me always to be polite
to my elders." Cleveland Lender.
"What makes you think that Mars
Is inhabited?" "My correspondence
with the editor of the magazine I
write for," nnswercd the professor.
"He says that is the only view which
has any popular Interest." Washing
ton Star.
Dr. Osier's Klval Ilarontear.
Lord Roscbery said years ago at a
complimentaiy banquet to the eminent
surgeon that If Sir Frederick Treves
were to enter the political arena he
would challenge our foremost orators.
Sir Frederick was recently setting out
for a little holiday to Egypt. Let us
hope he will take advantage of his trip
to give the world some more of the
vivid word pictures which so many en
Joyed In his volume, "Tho Other Side
of the LnnteiM." His nddress as Lord
Rector of the University of Aberdeen
vynie thun sustained his reputation a
d public speaker. It wus at this ban
quet tbot a story wns told at the ex
pense of thnt long suffering animal, the
London 'bus horse. When horses were
wanted for the South African War, a
lot of nnlnmls were sent which had
been employed hitherto In the shafts
of London omnibuses. The soldiers
who had to use these horses for draw
ing guns found they would not pull
with any spirit or energy nt the heavy
guns. At last one corkney driver
found a remedy: he slapped his belt
against the gun and shouted: "Benk!
Benk! Liverpoie street! Liverpole
street!" In tho familiar manner of a
'bus conductor. Instantly the horsee
plunged forward, and no more trouble
with them was experienced. London
Dally News. --'
Muikrnii Uob Hunter of Duck.
Mr. Elliott, foreman of the Mossman
Lumber Company, of this place, shot a
wild duck yesterday as it Hew over the
bnek water, breaking Its wing. The
duck plunged headlong Into the water.
A minute later two inuskrnts popped
their heads above the water and start
ed in pursuit of It. The duck swum
and liuttored in a circle. One of the
rats followed it directly, while the
other one would cut across and head
It off. Finally, one of the rats made
a dive, and, coming up near tie duck,
caught It and dived out of sight. The
other rat followed- and Elliot weut
home minus the duck. Jusper Com
spoudeuce Indianapolis News.
Tho German Empress, In addition to
Jewels worth $500,000 that are her wa
private property," lias the right to use
the splendid collection of gems that
belongs to the Prussian Treasury. The
Empress is thus able to sometimes ap
pear at court wearing jewelry roughly
.valued at $1,250,000.
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