FULTON COUNTY NEWS.
ALL SORTS OP PARAGRAPHS.
Some inen'H iik'i of economy lg to
buy two drinks for a quarter.
Tic Is blind to life's real pleasure
who cannot see around the milled
extgo of a dollar.
Hy always looking on the bright
side wo never strain our eyes trying
to pierce the darkness.
It's no fun for a girl to llirt with a
limn unless she knows she is limiting
some other girl weepy.
If the rain catuhes you without an
umbrella just remember that there was
a time when there were no umbrel
las. If the big fish get away to-day you
stnnd a chance of catching something
better than little ones to-morrow.
Some people are so impatient that
they think if they set a hen in the
evening they ought to have fried chick
en for breakfast.
If your boy wears out a do.en pairs
of shoes a year it's because he is
strong and healthy, and shoes are
cheaper than physicians.
Ostend Is it true that woman was
made of a rib bono ?
Taw That's whst they say, my son,
but I believe it was a juwbone.
Solomon answered all the questions
that the queen of Sheba put to him,
but it's certain that Solomon could
have been stumped by a three-year-old
boy.
Miss Passay When I was ltl papa
guve me the cutest little diamond ring
you ever saw, and
Miss Speitz Gracious ! What a
memory you have.
What's the trouble, Willie? said
Mrs. firown to her small son who was
crying.
My kite won't fly, sobbed Willie,
and I made it out of fly paper, too
A physician declares that people
who sleep with their mouths shut live
longest. To this might be added that
if tlioy keep them shut while awuke
they will live more comfortably.
Wigg Something ought to be done
to cure Saphedde of the wonderful
opinion he has of himself.
Wagg The only thing that will
help him in that respect is to get mar
ried. He Miss Gidday is a splendid dan
cer: so light on her feet.
Miss Chellus-Think so ?
He O, yes, light in the extreme.
Miss Chellus You mean light in
the extremes, don't you.
"Now, Willie," said the teacher,
"you may spell kitten."
"K-l-i-t-t-e-n," he slowly spelled.
"No, no!" exclaimed the teacher;
"kitten hasn't got two i's."
"Well, ours has," replied the small
observer.
"Now, then, children," suid the
teacher, who hud been commenting up
on polar expeditions, "who can tell
what fierce animals inhabit the regions
of the North Pole-"' 1 "Polecats,"
shouted the boy at the foot of the
class.
Now boys, said the Sunday school
teacher; can any of you boys name the
three great feasts of the Jews? Ves'm
I can; replied one litte fellow. Very
well, Johnny, what are they? Break
fast, dinner and supper, was the un
consciously logical reply.
How d'ye do, Brother Hayrick?
said the country editor; what are you
filing the saw for?
Cause it's dull; replied Farmer Hay
rick; what did ye s'pose?
H'm, always file things when they're
dull, do you?
Wall, no; thar's that weekly sheet
o'yourn; I never file that.
Stucklnham Selph It's easy to obey
the Biblical Injunction when one's
neighbor Is a pretty girl.
Miss Nexdore Surely It Isn't easy
for you.
Stucklnham Selph O, yes. I refer
to the command to love thy neigh
bor. Miss Nexdore Exactly, but the com
inand is really love thy neighbor as
thyself.
What part of a fish is found at the
end of a book? The fin-is.
What is the darkest part of a tune?
The pitch.
What is the lightest part of a tune?
The air.
What are the obligatory parts of a
tune? The notes.
What part of a cat is found in a nov
9l? The tale (tail).
What part of a story resembles a
pleco of ground? The plot.
Don't expect to ask for any pity or
sympathy in the world, says an ex
change. You won't get It, and you
will only lose time and add to your
distress. If you get into troublo
stiffen your upper Hp, hold up your
heod, act as if you were worth millions
defy your enemies, and fight your way
out like man. Have more iron and
less putty Id your blood. Be more of
oak and less of vine, and you will do
bettor and feel better and respect your
self more.
'Horace Greeley was one of the
most profane men that ever lived.
I'ursinir was sworul nu,. n 1.1...
He even called himself names that
would cause a duel in the South If ap
plied to a friend or enemy. When he
realized that he was dying he said
loud: Well, the devil's got you at
st, you damned old . a week
after the funeral bis daughter, Mis,
Ga brielle Greeley, wrote to Whitelaw
Hold, the yountr editor in the Tall
Tower (Tribune), to know what were
e last words of her father. Rid
wrote hack: Your dar father's last
; I knov that my Redeemer Hv-
LOCAL MISCELLANY.
It's a waste of time to advise a fool.
Good old times -grundfuthers'clocks
Some men have a large following
of creditors.
The proprietor of a comic paper
lives by his wits.
The black hornet Is out now and
ready to be sat on
Don't withdraw your bank account
on any account.
Don't say "Hubbcrl" the truth of it
does stretch.
The circus performer likes the ring
of hearty applause.
The filter manufacturer ought to
have a clear conscience.
A girl can't even blush unless she
has considerable cheek.
Kven the fat man doesn't rejoice
when his hair grows thin.
A honeymoon generally lasts as long
as the money holds out.
A horse isn't declining his dinner
when he says "neigh" to It.
A lawyer's soft-heurtedness is not
exactly "legal tender."
When a poet's verses come back to
him he meets with reverses.
Not even the- professional dyer is
sure of having a dead cinch.
The birds of a feather that Hock to
gether must be jail birds.
People who marry at their leisure
sometimes repent in haste.
The otlice that seeks the man is al
ways the one that no man wants.
Admirers of pretty girls are not wor
ried about the peach supply.
The man with a bad temper isn't any
more amiable when lie loses- it.
The powder manufacturer contri
butes to some of the leading muga
zlnes. The knife maker cannot alwuys cut
himself off a liberal slice of luck.
The dentist can't always overcome
the trouble of his nagging wife's juw.
The average woman would like to
buy her experience at a bargain coun
ter. Consistency should be the most val
uable of jewels considering its rurity.
There are fellows who would ruther
get married than go to work a for liv
ing. An honest confession may lie good
for the soul, but It is apt to sever
friendship.
In spite of all the talk about ruce
suicide, Cupid never strikes for short
er hours.
We are told that figures never lie,
and yet we don't always believe a fig
ure ot speech.
The man who paddles his own canoe
often does it because he cau't get any
body else to do it for him.
Forest fires must be awful ill-tempered
things. One never heurs of them
but that they are ruging.
A man doesn t object to being call
ed a lumberman, yet to call him a
wooden man makes him feel bored.
A woman can generally be depended
upon to make a fool of a man, but
sometimes he saves her the trouble.
"Mamma, pleas gimme a drink of
water; I'm so thirsty."
"No; you're not thirsty. Turn over
and go to sleep."
A pause. "Mamma, won't you
please give me a drink? I'm so
thirsty."
"If you don't turn over and go to
sleep I'll get up and whip you!"
Another pause. "Mamma, won't
you please gimme a drink when you
get up to whip me ?"
This boy will be all right if he
grows up with this persistency.
"Now, madame," said the counsel
for the 'defendant to a little, wiry,
blackeyed, fidgety woman who had
been summoned as a witness in a
caso, "you will please give your evi
dence in as few words as possible.
Vou know the defendant."
"Know who?"
"The defendant Mr. Joshua Bagg?"
"Josh Bagg? I do know him, and
knowed his father before him, and I
don't know anything, to the credit of
either of 'em, and I don't think "
"We don't want to know what you
think, madame. Please say 'yes' or
'no' to my questions."
"What questions y
"Do you know Joshua Bugg?"
"Don't I know 'im, though ? You
ask Josh Bagg if he knows me. Ask
him if he knows anything 'bout trying
to cheat a pore widder like me out of
five dollars Ask "
."Madame. I "
"Ask him whose orchard he robbed
last and why he did It In the night.
Ask his wife, Betsy Bagg, if she
knows anything about sllppln' iuto a
neighbor's field and milking three
cows on the sly. Ask"
"Look here, madame "
"Ask Josh Bagg about that uncle
of his that died in prison. Ask him
about lettin' his pore old mother die
in the poorhouse. Ask Betsy about
putting a big brick into a lot of butter
she sold lust spring"
"Madame, I tell you"
"See if Josh Bagg knows anything
'bout feeding ten head of cattle on ull
the salt they could eat and then lettiu'
them swill down all the water they
could hold just 'fort he drlv them in
to town and sold 'em, See what hn's
got to say to that !"
"That has nothing to do with the
case. 1 want you to"
"Then there was old Azraul Bagg,
own uncle to-Josh, got kicked out of
his native town, and Betsy Bagg's
own brother got kcU:hed iu a neigh
bor's hen house at mfdnight. Ask
1 Josh"
"Madame, what do you know about
this case?"
"I don't know a llvln' tiling 'bout
tt, but I'm sure Josh Bagg U guilty,
whatever it is. The fact is, I've owed
them Baggsos a 'grudge for the past
fifteen years, and I got myself called
up on purpose to got even with 'em,
arid I feel I've done it."
A NEW STYLE PREACHER.
TI10 pastor of a Prosl.yturian
cli 11 rcli iu Sau Jose believes in
iiliiug his church, says the Sau
Francisco Bulletin. In the Sau
Joso papers ouce or twice a week
ho inserts a little notice some
thing like the following, which
appeared recently :
FOUND ASLEEP. So you
slept in church yesterday, did
you ? Well, it was rather a drow
sy day, but if you had been at
the Second Presbyterian church
you wouldn't have dozed. The
pastor preached two earnest, en
thusiastic sermons, and the mu
sic was alive and inspiring. Mrs.
Ilillmau Smith sang that old fa
vorite, "The Holy City," to the
enjoyment of all, and the chorus
choir rendered two anthems.
Tho congregation was nearly as
large as the church itself. An
old timer there looked around
and remarked to a bystander,
"Well, I declare.I thought 1 knew
every one who came to this
church, but the last few weeks I
don't seem to kn.nv more than
half of them."
FIGHT WILL BE BITTER.
Those who will persist in clos
ing their ears against the coutin
ual recommendation of Dr. King's
New Discovery for consumption,
will have a long and bitter fight
with their troubles, if not ended
earlier by fatal termination.
Read what T. Ii. T3eall of Beall,
Miss., has to say : "Last fall my
wife had every symptom of con
sumption. She took Dr. King's
New Discovery after everything
else had failed. Improvement
came at ouce and four bottles en
tirely cured her." Guaranteed
by all druggists. Price 50c. and
$1.00. Trial bottles free.
FARMERS' RAILROAD THAT PAYS.
Ramsey county is one of the
few communities iu the country
that boasts of a railroad built by
the farmers themselves for the
purpose of transporting their
produce to market a successful
venture, says the Bisinark Tri
bune. The stockholders of the
Farmers' Road met at (iarske re
cently, and it was decided to is
sue bonds enough to cover the in
debtedness of the road. Up to
this time the indebtedness of the
road had been secured only by
a mortgage and by a few of the
principal stockholders who have
been liable for the debt. A re
port of the financial condition of
the road showed it very prosper
ous. Tho gross earnings of the
road since last October amount
to something like $21,000, while
I the net earnings amount to ab'jut
j $15,000. The total indebtedness
j of the road is now about 10JJ,000.
It will bo seen that the total in
debtedness can be paid in about
four years at the present rate of
earnings. The earnings, how
ever, will be much greater in the
future thau they have been in the
past. This report ought to put a
complete quietus on the runior
that the road has been sold to the
Soo or any other partv. The
Farmers' Railroad still lives, and
will no doubt be on earth for
years to come.
Pacific Coast Without Change.
In new Pullman "ordinary"
sleepers, wide vestibuled and
with every modern convenience,
in charge of competent agent,
from Cincinnati and Chicago via
Louisville, New Orleans, Houston
San Antonio, El Paso and Los
Angeles to San Francisco. Rates
for berths less than half of cost in
regular sleepers. P'or free de
Hcriptive matter and full particu
lars, address E. A. RICIITER.
Trav. Pass. Agent, Illinois Cen
tral Railroad, Park Building
Pittsburgh, Pa.
FARMIrNC
IN THE SOUTH.
The fiuwenKer Department of the lUiiioln
Cuutrnl Kullroud Cuiupuny In ImkuIdv mouthly
ulruuUm ooooeruluK fruit vruwluu' veKelublo
Kurdunlnir, Ktuolt ntlnlnu, dutrylnw. eta., in the
Stuten of Keutuoky. West 'l'enneoe, MInxIk
Ippl, and l-oulsluuu. Kvery b'urmer or Home
Keeker, who will forwnrd hu mime und mldnts
to the undemlKued, will bit mailed free, Circu
urn Noil. I, 2, !l. 4, und 5, und other a they ure
publUhed frow oioulu to luoath.
E. A. RICHTER,
TKAVELINO PASSKNUKb AUKNT
PARK BUILDING, PITTSBURG, PA
tc Lrcxcuvc Lromo quinine Teet$.x?
Svwift3oakousKM 13 months. . This MHitnre,
rtouss Racket Store
SOME SPMNG
TI10 time is here for dunning house Mid getting thiny in readiness fur Hie
summer. Wc think we are in better sliiipe this spring to save von money thtin
we ever were. Compare a few prices: Tublo oil doth lie yd , roller window
shades He, oil window shades with fringe 2x-, scrim for curtains 4 and V yd.,
lace curtains-11 nice line .'t!i, ."i0, d.i, and pair, clothes baskets ."in, li'i ami
70c, knives and forks .", (id und "", silver steel tea spoons "c set, tabV
spoons I4c set, wash boilers li.j and silo, wooden wusJi tubs (ill tofOc, y ah unit
ed tubs 4 , (!, und .mo, clothes pins lc do?.., Aunt l.ydia's linen thread 4e
spool, muchine thread .'lo spool, garden rakes 11, m an( hoes JO to iV
steel shovels .Vic, immure lorks .'I.I to IV. The best broom 011 the murkct :
und 2")e, carpet tucks .1 bbls for 'n: or 4 boxes for ie.
Underwear ! Underwear !
To say we have the best Is putting it mild. Ladies gaiise vests wit h t .1 j 1
only Tk; with luce neck nnd shoulder II, 10 and i:c, men's bulbrlggan 2.1 or 4"
suit, belter 4.1c ouch, men's dress shirts 2:1. 4"i. 4H, li.", und'U'V- see them, men'
huts in the latest shapes 4"c to f 1.-0, looking glasses 1- to 40c.
SHOES! SHOES! SHOES!
We have sold more shoes this month tliun in any month since we have !" 1
In business, and why is this? Simply because we lire selling shoes that will
give good service for less money than you can get them anywhere in the coun
ty. For instance we sell you a shoe for ! that you pay l.-l, and our at tl.'Jn
that you pay il."i0 and one ut .tl.ii" Unit you pay -.0O. The time was when
some of the merchants In our town could iiiiilce the people lndieve that our
goods were no good, but that time is past. If you huvcu'1 bought any si::H-
from us why not try us und save - ic on the dollar? Trunks tl.'.io. $2 0,
and $i.ll., telescopes. "i0, to ".lc. In overalls and shirts, we handle the .S'.ii;
peiisburg goods. Shirts, to 44y: Overalls 21 to "Oc; I'unts "0 to $J.!H.
Clothing, In children's iis to 1 .!".. Hoys' piece suits, l.!l" to M.il. M' li's
suits if- 4.) to $7. 21, ulso.a nice lot of samples of men's .suits made to order
from $0.00 to 12."0. Call und see them.
i!csicetfully,
HULL & BENDER, PROPRIETORS.
McConnellsbur.u, Pa.
OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Q
O
When You Come to
i Chambersburg
o
O
Just go up Main street
Right at I iloom Bros.'
block and you w ill come
, colored brick building.
the nicest rooms, and
t!7
A
ture and its belongings, to be seen in the Cumberland
Valley.
You will find mauv articles here that you do not nee
in other stores. There has been a furniture store on this
spot for 75 years and yet there are many of the youngen
people and some others who dou't know it. That is the rea
son we are telling you about it.
C' About a block- farther, on the bank of the Conococheague,
whoso water drives the machinery, you will find our facto
ry ; where with skilled mechanics and seasoned lumber we
can make almost anything you may require.
COME TO OUR STORE und look around Much to
see that is interesting even if you don't want lo buy. We
want you to know what it is and whore it is.
Open till H o'clock in the evening now Saturday till nine.
H. SIEKER & CO.,
Furniture Makers on Queen Street.
Chambersburg, Pa,
OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
SPUING
1903.
OPENING
The Daintiest Milliner,
AND
Ladies Tailored Hats.
High Grade and Exclusive Hats
at all Prices.
Popular Fabrics For New Spring Apparel.
Black Dress Goods ! White Goods ! Colored Dress
Goods I Crown Mohair, French Voile, "Crepe d e
Chine" Aelrose, Prunella. 1 lop-Sacking, Serge. Cheviot
Venetian, Crapelle, and Silks.
Wash Fabrics, Pique, Madras, Mercerized Cham
bray. OUR Nl'W CORSI'TS-
T. J. WIENER, 8
o
Hancock, Md. o
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FULTON COUNTY NEWS
is the people's paper
i
$1.00 a Tear in Advance.
To Cure a Cold in One Day
TS " 1
BARGAINS.
0
o
6
o
till you come to iueen street.
corner turn to tho west half a
to a modern il story cream- O
Stop inside and you
will find O
tiie largest stock of good furni
o
o
s
ooooooooooooo
SPRING 9
1Q03. O
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Cures Crip
In Two Days.
on every
nv fj
Sjr
POX. 23C
O V
8
ft
6ft
V I 0
yi
o
5 ft
O i
C 1
ft
-ri rtf(r 10 ni
I Li'
; "
c,
pv
en
1 v r
f
!
it?
l
!
1
0
0
;
RESNERS
We cordially invite
c
'6
0.
our friends to see g
our stock of Summer 8
g Dress Goods in white g
from 5 to 40c; lawns
Sfrom 5 to
color Dress Gings
hams 6, 1 O, 1 2 1 -2c. 1
0K
0.
0
o
ft
ft
ft
A large line of wool- SJ
ft
en rulings, viiks ior jj
ft waists and suits.
A fine
$ trimmings
vet
kind, the
stock we
SWalkinir
ft
g skirts from
0M,
0'
stock of Ladies' Knit
0
U nderwear.
von
a Vest in town, the ranie
5 to 25c.
His
0
0
0.
M.0
Look
week.
0.
0
0.
0
0
0
S0
a
0
0
'6
0
0
0 n
.
'
tl 0
w
tl
m
7
eisners
. 0010 a o'i.t'r' r
r
.1
',
r
v. p
u
o
o
flu
o
0 A
a
(
&
o
o
o
o
If
ft
17c. Fastg
ft
ft
ft
stock of 8
of every
largest
ft
ft
ft
ever had.
ft
Ready-to-wear J5
and Dress K
a
o
$1.75 up.
We have a larre 6
0
S8
VV e wi II
the best
5c
for ad nextg
0
;
0
o
V
0
a
0
CI
0
0070M000M0)r0000a!l0
0-0K0K0p00 .000000m,
0 t,a00l