FULTON COUNTY NEWS.
A KISS DEFINED.
TIIK SHOW HAND.
The show-bnml aya a purty as it list
t' play, I s'pose;
I Htnml an' listen to It as it thumps an'
brays ond blows.
But Btill thoy's somct.hln' laokln' that
I ust t' love t' hear
Don't seem t' lilt my heart at all, but
lodges in my eiir.
Think maybe I could miss th' whole
parude an' never mind
It don't sound like It ust to when I
tagged, along behind.
I shut my eyes a minute an' it all
comes back agin
That first wild bust o' music with a
word o' thrillin' in;
Me fallin' In behind It with my head
up in th' air,
Not seeln' where I'm poin'-an' b'
George I didn't care.
Hut now, although my hearin' good,
the thrillln's hard t' find
It don't sound like It ust to when I
tagged along behind.
I didn't know th' title of a single tune
they played
Th' thing I hankered after was th'
music that they made;
I didn't know th' meanin' of anat'ral,
sharp or Hat;
If some one said "crescendo" I'd a-
asked 'em what was thnt?
For, circus days, a boy all turns to
feelin's 'stead o' mind
And boys is havin' heaven when they
tag along behind.
I'd give a half a dollar an' a half a
life-time. too.
If I could make that big band sound
like show-bands ust t' do.
W'y, nights and nights I'd wake up
with that music In my ear
An' maybe twasn't nigh as good as
what I now can hear.
I've swapped a wealth of feelin' for a
poverty of mind:
I'll never hear no bands agin like
them I tagged behind.
APPRECIATED HIMSELF.
A little boy while playing near the
Serpentine fell Into the water. An
Irish laborer who was passing at the
time courageously jumped into the wa
ter, clothes and all, and rescued the
boy, says Spare Moments.
A lady who had observed the brave
deed went up to Pat, and, shaking' his
hand, said:
"I feel It an honor, ray brave man,
to shake hand with you. Many a worse
man than you has been presented to
court."
"Faith, you're rolght, mum," re
plied Pat as ho proceeded to wring wa
ter out of his coat. ''Th' last toimo Ol
was presinted at court Ol only got one
month, whoile me mate got two, bego
ra !"
THE COUNTERCHECK QUARREL'
SOME.
Two little negro boys were having a
dilTerence of opinion. One was talking
with great volubility, while the other
was listening. The speaker was pour
ing into his companion's ears all the
vials of his wrath In the characteristic
language of his race. Finally he seem
ed to have exhausted himself, and
paused for breath.
Said the listener, "Is you done?"
"Yes, I is done," replied the first
speaker.
"Well, den," said his companion,
"all dem t'ings you say I is, you Is."
May Woman's Home Companion.
THE MISPLACED AMEN.
In a certain family where baked
beans are always Berved at the table
on Saturday nights n small boy of
three years looked forward longingly
J, this meal.
One Saturday evening he was in his
usual place at the table, next to his
father, who had spoken but a few
words of the blessing, when a soft
voice said "Amen!"
The blessing proceeded,and"Amen!"
was spoken in a louder tone.
At last the patience of the small boy
was exhausted, and grasping bis fa
ther's arm, he njaculated with fervor;
"Beans, papa amen !" Brooklyn
Life.
CASE OF BLOWING.
The wife of District Attorney Jerome
and her little daughter was standing
at a window of her country house look
ing out over a meadow where there
were cows.
"I want to go out there," said the
child.
"But you musn't," said her moth
er. "Why?,,
"What do you suppose those eowg
would do with their horns now if you
went out .there',, queried the mother.
The child thought a while and then
answered :
"Maybe they would blow them as
you say papa blows his.,, New York
Times.
YOUNG AMERICA.
Freddie's oldest brother had been ill
and wan now taking daily gymnastics
to regain the strength which he had
lost during his sickness. One day pa
pa found the three-year-old shut up In
his room, and standing in the middle
of tho room vigorously brandishing
his arms.
"What are you trying to do, Fred
dley" he asked. "You are well enough!
1 ou don t need gymnastics."
"H'm! Cousin Harry ' coming to
see us next month, and I want to get
strong enough to lick him!" said the
Young America, -May Woman'sHome
Companion.
Foley's Honey mad Tot
tar children, uf, tun. flo opiate
Home one has taken pains to think
out the following opposite descrip
tions of osculation :
A kiss is an Insipid and tasteless
morsel, which becomes delicious and
delectubls In proportion as It Is fla
vored with love.
The sweetest fruit on the tree o'
love. The oftener plucked tho more
abundant it grows.
A thing of use to no one, but much
prized by two.
The baby's right, the lover's privi
lege, the parent's benlson, and the
hypocrite's mask.
The food by which the flame of love
Is fed.
The only known "smack" that will
calm a storm.
A telegram to the heart, in which
the operator uses the "sounding" sys
tem. Nothing divided between two.
Not enough for oue, just enough for
two, too much for three.
The only really agreeable two fuced
action under the sun, or tho moon, ei
ther. The sweetest labial of the world's
language.
A woman's most effective argument,
whether to cajole the heart of a father,
control the humors of a husband, or
console the griefs of childhood.
The thunderclap of the lips, which
Inevitably follows the lightning glance
of the eyes.
A report at headquarters.
Everybody's acting edition of l.o
moo and Juliet.
What the child receives free, what
the young man steals, and what the
old man buys.
The drop that runneth over when
the cup of love Is full.
SEEN AND HEARD.
Laugh, and the world laughs with
you.
Weep, and the world laughs at
you.
There was once a maiden who had
trotted In single harness all her life.
She was tabout 40 years young and
had a face longer than the Revised
Statutes of Missouri. Her smile', that
she considered irresistible, reminded
one of the breaking up of a hard win
ter, and would make an eight day
clock lose at least 1" minutes in an
hour's run. She had an ingrowing
nose, hair the color of faded bargain
Bale calico, and her teeth looked as if
they had been sown broadcast and
hadn't come up even. She had never
been over 40 miles away from Butte,
Montana in her whole life, but had de
cided to take a trip to St. Louis to see
the dedication exercises. Of course,
she had picked out her choicest and
best apparel for the trip, and when
togged out was about the fiercest and
loudest that ever came down, went up,
or crossed over the pike. Her red
shirt waist made a circus caliope and
the Salvation Army men seem like
dead silence. She made the trip all
right, and when she returned to Butte
told a "girl" friend that all this talk
about it being unsafe for a woman to
travel alone was wrong. "Why," she
said, "I saw thousands of strange
men and not one of them tried to tlirt
with me for minute."
Moral : Sometimes Men get credit
for goodness when they dou't deserve
It.
Little boy, said the parson, I hope
you don't read those horrid dime nov
els. Not me, replied the wise youngster.
I know where to get better ones for a
nickel.
She When you first started to kiss
me I was really afraid.
He Afraid of what?
She Afraid you'd lose your nerve
and quit.
What, savs an tnauisltive vounu
lady, Is the most popular color for a
Driue r
We may be a little particular In
these matters, but we should prefer a
white one.
Elsie Yes, dear, my husband is a
doctor, and a lovely fellow, but awful
ly absent-minded.
Ada Indeed?
Oqly fancy! During the marriage
ceremony when he gave me the ring
he felt my pulse and told me to put
out my tongue.
" , .
Judge What Is your profession?
Witness I'm a poet, Your Honor.
Judge That's not a profession ; I'ts
.disease.
Hello, central 1 called the man at
the 'phone, give me the gas office.
Yes, sir, replied the oierator, but I
must warn you in advance that we
cannot tolerate any bad language
over the wire.
Mrs. Talklngton'a husband ought to
be a good listener.
He Is. He can listen to nearly 200
words a minute.
Don't you love to gambol on the
green ?
Uncle Zenas Nopey! I tried it when
I wuk In thur city last winter and
there want nothln' doln' but red and
black I
I notice you use the word "chum
my," remarked the girl with the spec
tacles. By that I presume you mean
Intimate, do you not V
"Well, it means a little more than
that responded the other girl. A flea,
for example, Is intimate, but I don't
consider It at all chumrqy.
ADVERTISE IN
The Faltoa Goaotj Keis,
FACT3 ABOUT MATCHES.
"Who iuvontod niiitclios, and
how long have they Imun ju usl"''
Tho speaker looked with a
questioning smile at the match
dealer who sat optxisite him at
lunch.
"Matches," said tho dealer,
"wero invented in 18!!j by a Hun
garian of tho name of Janos Iriu
yi. He .was at that time a stu
dent in Vienna. Being a chem
ist, he was much impressed dur
ing certain experiments that lie
made, by the brilliant react iou
produced on the rubbing togeth
er ot peroxide oi lead aDd sul
phur. The Hint and tinder of
those days furnished a miyhly
inconvenient way of getting a
light, and Janos Irinyi, perceiv
ing himself to be ou the way to a
great invention, shut himself up
in his mean liltlu room for two
days. Sometimes his friends
would come knocking at the door.
(Jo away,' he would cry; 'go
away. 1 am making a discov
ery.'" "And tho next time he appear
ed in public his pockets were full
of matches that struck on being
scratched against a wall. Irinyi
made 3000 out of his discovery.
He sold it for that amount to a
merchant named Romer. Romer
himself became a millionaire.
Many of us, indeed, have become
millionaires through matches.
"The name 'match' comes from
tho Latin "myxa" which means
a lamp nozzle. From the nozzle
of the old Roman lamp the flame
issued.and hence its resemblance
to our lighted match of to-day is
great. Have you ever been in a
match factory? Into big ma- (,
chines these logs of wood enter
and out of tho other end of the
machine boxes of matches fall."
NOT A SICK DAY SINCE.
"I was taken severely sick with
kidney trouble. I tried all sorts
of medicines, none of which re
lieved me. One day I saw an ad
of your Electric Bitters and de
termined to try that. After ta
king a few doses I felt relieved,
and soon thereafter was entirely
cured and have not seen a sick
day since. Neighbors of mine
have been cured of rheumatism,
neuralgia, liver and kidney trou
bles and general debility." This
is what 13. F. Bass of Fremont,
N. C. writes. Only 50c. by all
druggist.
COMMENCED EARLY.
After marriage there is some
times a question as to who will
rule the household, the bride or
the groom. In some instances
the matter is quickly decided, the
wife giving way to the husband,
and again it is the reverse. But
it remains for a Pennsylvania girl
who eloped to this city and was
married, to settle that question
at the very start.
A couple came here a day or
two ago from a town near Pitts
burg, and after the marriage
ceremony was performed, they
went to the Arlington hotel to
take dinner prior to returning
home.
Instead of the groom register
ing the bride walked briskly up
to the hotel office, seized a pen
and this is what she wrote across
a page of the register in bold let
ters: "Mrs. J. S. Heath and hus
band." She then turned around
to her husband, who stood look
ing on while the registering act
was being done, and said : "You
go to the station and see if our
train is on time. You will And
me In the parlor of the hotel when
you return."
Tho grortm Is said to have cover
ed the distance between the two
points in a way that indicated
that he recognized the force of
the command.
FARMIINC
IN THE SOUTH.
The PumeDver Depurlmeut or the Illinois
Central Kullroud Coiupuay In tMiilng monthly
olroulura oouoernlnif Irult urowlnn' veuetnhle
Burdening, vtook rutnlriK, rtulrylnn, etc., 111 the
Slttlen of Kentucky, Wont Tennewee, M'k1
Klppl. and ixulHlana. Kverv Kuriuer or Home
keeker, who will foi ward hln nuine und uddren
to the underslitned, will be mulled tree, Circu
itr No. I, t, 4, und 6, und others u they ure
publlxned from month to mouth.
E. A. RICHTER,
TRAVEIJNU PASSKNOKU AOKNT
PARK BUILDING,
PITTSBURG, PA
Tcie Laxative Dromo Qmnmo raict.
svw Msioa ton mm u la month t. This sin&taret
SOME SPRING
Tho tiino is here fur dunning house and getting things in readiness for the
summer. We think wo uro In better shape this spring to save you money than
we ever were. Compare a few priwes: Table oil cloth 1 to yd , roller window
shades 8c, oil window shades with fringe 2."e, scrim for curtains 4 and ;"e yd.,
luce curtains ii nice linn Mil, 50, (ill, and H'm pair, clothes baskets 50, (10 and
70c, knives and forks 4J, .V, (10 and X'tv, silver steel tea spoons "c set, table
spoons 14c set, wush boilers 5 and Kite, wooden wash tubs II!) to Mo, galvaniz
ed tubs 4.", "0, and "hie, clothes pins lo do., Aunt Lydia's linen thread 4c u
spool, machine thread .'lo spool, garden rakes 15, IS and 22o, hoes 20 to 2"-,
stt el shovels 50o, manure forks Xi to 45o. The best broom on the market JO
and 25c, carpet tnoks .'J bbls for 5e or 4 boxes for 5c.
Underwear ! Underwear !
' To soy we have tho best Is putting It mild. Ladies gauso vests with tape
only 5c with laeo nook and shoulder 0, 10 and Mo, men's balbrlggtin 211 or 45c
salt, better 45c each, men's dress shirts 2:1, 45, 4S. li.". and llOc-see them, men's
huts In the latest shapes 45c to ft. 20, looking glasses 12 to 40c.
SHOES! SHOES! SHOES!
Wn lnivo Hold more shoes this month than In unv month since we hiivo In ei
in business, and why is this? Simply because we are selling shoes that will
;:ive good service for less money than you can get them anywhere In tho conn- j
ty. Vor instance we sell you u shoe for 1 that you pay 1.25, and one at $1.20 i
'that you pay 1. 50 and one nt $1. 05 that you pay $2.00. The time was when i
some of the merchants in our town could make the people believe that our j
goods were no good, but that tin e is past. If you haven't bought any shoes
from us why not try us and save 20c on thn dollar? Trunks 1 .!, 2 i0, 2.:i5
and $2,115, telescopes, 50, to 75o. In overalls and shirts, wo handle the Sliip
pensburg goods. Shirts, 2.1 to 44c: Overalls 25 to "Or: Cants 50 to $2,110.
Clothing, in children's !IH to $1.05. Hoys' piece suits, $1.05 to:i.25. Men's
suits 2 45 to $7.25, also, a nice lot of samples of men's suits made to order
from $0.00 to $12.50. Call and see them.
rvPsnectfully,
i HULL & BENDER, PROPRIETORS.
ooooooocoooo ooooooooooooo
When You Come to
Chambersburg
: Q
Q
O
Id
(
Just go up Main street till you uomo to Queen street. O
Right at Bloom Bros.' corner turn to the west half a O
block aud you will como to a modern 3-story cream- O
colored brick building. Step inside aud you will find O
the nicest rooms, and tne largest stock of good f urni- O
ture and its belongings, to ho seen in the Cumberland Q
Valley. Q
You will find many articles here that you do not see O
i
O in
other stores. There has
spot for 7j years and yet there are mauy of the younger J
people and some others who don't know it. That is tho rea- O
son we are telling you about it.
About a block farther, on tho bank of the Couococheague,
whose water drives the machinery, you will lind our facto
ry ; where with skilled mechanics and seasoned lumber we
can make almost anything you may require.
COME TO OUR STORE aud look around Much to
see that is interesting eveu if you don't want to buy. We
want you to kuow what it is and where it is.
Open till 8 o'clock in the evening now Saturday till nine.
H. SIERER & CO.,
. Furniture Makers on Queen Street,
Chambersburg, F.
JOOOOCOOOOOOOO
xoooxxcxx
SPUING SPUING X
1903. 1Q03. V
OPENING
The Daintiest Millinery,
AND
Ladies Tailored Hats.
High Grade and Exclusive Hats
at all Prices.
. o
Popular Fabrics For New Spring Apparel. O
Black Dress Goods ! White Goods ! Colored Dress S
Goods I Crown Aohair, French Voile, "Crepe d e Q
Chine" Melrose, Prunella, Hop-Sacking, Serge, Cheviot x
Venetian, Crapelle, and Silks.
Wash Fabrics Pique, Madras, .Mercerized Cham- Q
bray. OUU NEW CORSETS 6
T. J. WIENER,
Hancock, Md.
oooooooooooooo
FULTON COUNTY NEWS
is the people's paper
$1.00 a Year in Advance.
To Cure a Cold in One Day
BARGAINS.
l
McConnellsburg, Pa.
been a furniture store on this O
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Cutm Crip .
la Two Days. .
on every
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1 Dress Goods in white
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ghams 6, 10, 12l2c.
A large line of wool-
HenSutings.
waists and
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Ready-to-wear
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Silks for a
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