Lane's Family .Tlecllcine. Moves tho bowels eaoh day. In order to t>e healthy this is necessary. Acts gently sn the liver and kidneys. Cures sick haad tohe. Price 25 and 50c. Nearly 100 different machines have been Invented for boring rook. Catarrh in the head, with its ringing noises In the jars, buzzing, snapping sounds, severe hendaches and disagreeable discharges, is permanently cured by Hood's Sarsaparilla. Do not dully with local applications. Tako Hood's Sarsaparilla and make a thorough ind complete cure »y eradicating from the >lood the scofulous taints that cause iatarrh. Remember Hood's Sarsaparilla is America's Greatest Medicine. $1; six for $5. Hood's Pills cure all Liver Ills. 35cents. His Novel Luck, A boy about ten years old stood by ;he side of a penny-in-the-slot machine in one of tho underground railway itations the other morning weeping bitterly. "What's the matter, my boy?" inked a man on his way to the stair sase, stopping a moment at the door way. "I put a penny in the slot," blub bered the boy, "and it was the wrong >ne. I didn't g-get any butter icotch." "Is that all, my lad?" said the man. 'Show mo the right slot and I'll drop juo in for you." "I'd rather d-drop it in myself," lobbed the urchin. The sympathizing citizen gave him he coin and hurried up the stairs. And when the sympathizing citizen lame back from his office ten hours ater that boy was still standing by hat penny in-the-slot machine with iis pocket full of pennies and still jlubbering.—Pearson's Weekly. STRONG STATEMENTS. Three Women Relieved of Femala Troubles by Mrs. Finkham. From Mrs. A. W. SMITH, 59 Summer <3t., Biddeford, Me.: " For several years I suffered with various diseases peculiar to my sex. Was troubled with a burning sensation icross the small of my back, that all jjone feeling, was despondent, fretful ind discouraged; the least exertion tired me. I tried several doctors but received little benefit. At last I de sided to give your Lydia E. Pinkliam's Vegetable Compound a trial. The ef fect of the first bottle was magical. Those symptoms of weakness that I ivas afflicted with, vanished like vapor before the sun. I cannot speak too highly of your valuable remedy. It is truly a boon to woman." From Mrs. MELISSA PHILLIPS, Lex ( ngton, Ind., to Mrs. Pinkham: "Before I began taking your medicine t had suffered for two years with that tired feeling 1 , headache, backache, noap petite, and a run-down condition of the system. I could not walk across the room. I have taken four bottles of the Vegetable Compound, one box of Liver Pills and used one package of Sanative Wash, and now feel like a new woman, ind am able to do my work." From Mrs. MOI.LIE E. HEEREI,, POW ;11 Station, Tenn.: "For three years I suffered with such a weakness of the back, I could not perform ray household duties. I also had falling of the womb, terrible bear ing-down pains and headache. I have taken two bottles of Lydia E. Pink lam's Vegetable Compound and feel like a new w the blood and p ty strengthen the nervesi \C t? Major A. C. Bishop, of 715 Third Ave., Detroit, Mich., is a well-known w* civil engineer. He says : "When I had ray last spell of sickness and came out of the hospital I was a sorry sight. I could not regain my strength, M M and could not walk over a block fbr several weeks. I noticed some articles dtl M in the newspapers regarding Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People, // / which convinced me that they were worth trying and I bought two boxes. [£> 10 I did not take them for my complexion but lor strength. After using them f7J 11 felt better, and know they did me worlds of good. I am pleased to recommend them to invalids who need a tonic or to build up a shattered tf % constitution."— Detroit Free Press, | J r At All drujdiit* OT direct from the OT. Willi*™;, H«d»- v[ A. etne Comp&ny, Price fifty ctnt* per box. fu Juat the Time. This is just the time of the year we feel the muscles all sore and stiff, and thon if just the time to use St. Jacobs Oil to ra lax them and to cure at once. Many people are said to possess doublf rows of natural teeth. Doa't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Tour Life Air ay. To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag netic. full of life, nerve and vigor, take No-To- Bao. the wonder-worker, that makes weak men strong. All druggists, 60c or (1. Cure guaran teed. Booklet and sample free. Address Sterling Remedy Co.. Chicago or New York Steeplechasing is said to have originated in Ireland. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup lor children teething, softens the gums, reduces Inflamma tion, allays pain, cures wind colio. 25c.a bottle In Birmingham, England, 37,000,000 pier are produced daily. To Core Constipation Forever* Take Cascarets Candy Cathartic. 100 or 23a II C. C. C. fall to cure, drue-glsts refund money. Eight thousand enrrier plgeon3 are kept for use in the German army. fjw Goto your grocer to-day lli and get a 15c. package of I Grain-0 Irj* It takes the place of cof- Vc*' fee at £ the cost. **B? Made from pure grams it is nourishing and health* W ful. Insist that your *roe«r gites you GRAIN O - Accept no imitation. ~f A New Us© For Postage Stamps. One of New York's oldest collectors has devised an entirely new use foi stamps. Ingoing through ono of the large bazars or department stores his attention was attracted by an enor mous display of easels, varying in size from those intended to hold large oil paintings to diminutive gilt easels no larger than a lady's brooch. He bought a few of the small ones at twenty-five to seventy-five cents each, and taking the smallest placed in it the portrait of Queen out of a one-penny envelope. The result was charming, the effect being that of a delicate cameo. Encouraged by this he proceeded to fill out the larger frames with similar portraits from stamped envelopes and postage stamps, containing from two to tei portraits.—Harpe's Round Table. Have used I)r.Seth Arnold's Cough Killer for Whooping Coughwithgood result s.-D.C.K KM r. ISTS No. Carey St.. Baltimore.Md.. July 14. lSltt. A gun which can fire 30,000 bullets a min ute has been inventod in England. l'iso's Cure for Consumption relieves th» most obstinate coughs.—Rev. 1). BCOHMUKI, LEU, Lexington.Mo.. February 24, 1894. Plate glass was first made in IG3B, nl ricardy, France. Pimples are inexpressibly mortifying. Rem edy—Ulenu's Sulphur Soap. Of druggists. Hill's Hair A- Whisker Dye, black or brown, 50c. The gun of largest calibre in tho world if tho British 17.72-inch 100-ton guu. To Cure a Cold ill One Dny. Take Laxative Bromo (Quinine Taoleis. A, Druggists refund money it it fails 10 cure. Australia possesses one-fifth of the world's stock of sheep. The Boy's Compliment. One of our good mothers makes it a particular point to impress upon her children the necessity of always be ing polite and courteous, particularly to strangers, says the Adrian Times. There called at the house the other day a lady who invariably dresses in perfect style and taste. This day she looked more than usually attractive, and when the little sou and daughter of the household came into the room the boy, desirous of paying the guest a compliment, exclaimed to his sister, "My! Isn't she a corker?" SIX BY SEW"I, They bad thought love lu a cottage Would be line; "I will help you wash the dishes, My divine, And we two will just be happy, llaia or shine. tibe, entranced, enraptured, heard him, And was g'ad. Bhe had read a lot of novels, So she had, And she knew love in a cottage Wasn't bad. So they stood before the preacher, He and she; Then they hunted for a cotu But, ah me! There was none they'd live Though 'twere free! She has given up her novels And all that. She has farmed out both her parrot And her cat— They aro living in a six by Seven flat. —Cleveland Leader. jTiiiriij "Yes, professor, I am afraid I shall have to rent or sell the farm; my wife is so miserable. I cannot carry it on without hiring, aud hiring eats up all the profits." I looked at the speaker admiringly. He was about fifty years old, and as robust as n man of thirty. His whiskers were neatly trimmed, showing a full red cheek. He wore a jaunty hat, aud natty cutaway coat, aud below his vest hung a single fob and heavy gold seal. I was proud of him. He was such a perfect specimen of a New York country gentleman that I wanted to imprint his picture on my memory. "So your wife is miserable?" "Yes. Kinder diooping with a dry cough and no ambition. She just kinder drags around the house aud looks so peaked and scrawny it gives me the blues. It does, I swan." "Naturally weakly, wasn't she?" "She! Oil, 110. When I married her, she was the smartest girl on the creek. She used to work for my father,and the way she made the work stand around took my eye. She wasa poor girl, and her industry got her a rich husband." Here he took out a gold watch, looked At the time, put it back, and adjusted the silk fob on the front of his nicely fitting trousers. "So she did well, getting married on account of her industry?" "Why, of course. She was getting only two dollars and fifty ceuts a week, and she became mistress of a farm." "Excuse me, how much are you worth now—confidentially, you know? I am a scientific man, and will never use such facts to your injury with the assessor." "Well, professor, I could crowd fifty thousand petty hard. "That is g< od. How long have you been married?" "Thirty yearn next Fourth of July. We went down to Albany oil a little teeter, aud I proposed the match and Jane was willing." "How much do you suppose you have mado in these thirty years?" "Hum—um—lemme see. I got tho Davis farm the first ten years, then I run in debt for the Simmons place, got war prices for my cheese aud squared up both places. Well, I think I have cleared up thirtyt housand dollars siuce we spliced." "Very good, indeed. Aud your wife has been a great help all this time?" . Oh, you bet! She was a rattler! She took care of her baby,aud the milk from twenty cows. I tell you she made the tin-ware flop! Why, we have had four children, and she never had a hired girl over six months in that time." "Splendid, and you have cleared thirty thousand in that time?" "i'es, easy." "Now, how much has your wife made?" "She? Why, blame it, professor, she is my wife." "I kuow it. But what lias she made? You say she was poor when you married her. Now, what has she made?" "Why, you beat all! Why, she is my wife, aud we own it all together." "Do you? Then she can draw on your bank account? Then she has a horse aud carriage when she wants them? Then she has a servant girl when she wants one? Then she ride* out for her health, and she has a watch and gold chain as you do? Is that so?" "Professor, you must be crazy. No body's wife is boss in that shape. Who ever heard of such a thing?" "Now, look here. You say she did well iu marrying rich, and I cannot see it. If she was getting two dollars and fifty cents per week when you married her,and had saved her wages, she would have bad now three thou sand six hundred dollars. If she liail invested it, she would have had five thousand dollars. Now you tell lue she is broken down, used up and miserable, and looks so badly, she makes you sick,and she has 110 money, no help,and will probably get nothing but a Scotch grauite tombstone when she dies." "Professor, if you was a youuger man, I would lick you quicker'u a spring lamb can jump a thistle." "What for? lam statiug this case fairly, am I not? Your wife is no longer young. She is no longer hand some. Her hands are as hard as a bookagent's cheek and she has stooped over a milk can until she has a hump ou her back like a pedler." "Shut up, will you?" "She has raised four children. One of them is at college. One is taking music lessons iu Boston. The other two are teaching school. She is at home alone, going around in a tread mill Ufa which will and in * rosewood coffin and a first clam country funeral " "Stop that, professor, will yon?" "And your wife does not look well in that new wagon, so you take your hired man and neighbor's girls to meeting. Your wife never goes any where, so you do uot get her a watch like your own, nor a new silk dress, nor a pony that she can drive, nor a basket phaeton that she could climb into without a ladder. She never goes out. She has to work iu the kitchen, so she gets no nice shoes like yours." "Coufound my skin if I don't " "When you know, and I know, that if your wife had a chance to lest, and had nice clothes like other women, she would be one of the best looking women of her age iu town." "I swan I believe it." "And, as old as she is, if you were to get out the carriage next Sunday aud drive around with the colts and tell her you wanted her togo to meet ing with you,she would actually blush with pleasure." "Blamed if I don't do it." "Then, Monday, if you were to tell her you were going to hire a girl, and that she must sit in the sittiug-room by the new nickle plated coal stove aud work on that new silk dress you are going to buy her " "Professor, that's me." "Aijd hand her a nice wallet, with steel clasps and with five uice new twenty dollar notes iu it, and tell her to do her own trading after this, because you have got tired looking after so much money." "I will, as sure as you live." "And then, when the tear starts in her eye, and the same old blush comes out that you thought so nice when you went 011 that teeter to Albany, if you would kiss her " "It's all right, professor." "Then, my friend, I should begin to think she had made something by marrying a rich man." "You're right, old man." "Then I think you wouldn't have a miserable wife any longer. Then yon would 110 louger want to sell or rent the farm, but would be showing the mother of your children how much you respected her for her life of devo tion. Then she would know she was a partner in that thirty thousand. Then if you made your will all right, aud she had a good rest, I think she would some time be an eligible widow." "Think so, professor?" "i'es, I know. W r ouien pity you because you are tied to such a sorry looking wife. Foolish old maids and silly girls whisper behind your back what a nice looking man you are, and what a stick of a wife you have, and you are just soft enough to wear tight boots and oil what little hair you have left on top of your head, aud go around figuring up how long before your wife will die." "Say, now, professor, there is a limit to endurance. lain going." "I am coming down to see you next week. Will it be all right?" "Yes, if yon drop this kind of talk, aud won't tell of my complaints about my wife. I'll try your medicine, W r ould you stick for that prescription about the pocketbook and twenty dollar notes?" "How much did you say you have made together?" "I cave. The dress will be all right, and the pony aud phaetou will bo haudy for the gals. Come down and see us, old man, but not a word about this talk. If vou wasn't nu old man, I'd " Tipping the derby back ou his head aud shaking the wrinkles ont of hia tight trousers, he puts his hands into his pockets aud sauntered away. "There," said I, "is one man who has taken the only legal aud God given way of getting rid of a miser able wife." "CHAIR WARMERS." The Maidens <>f llridgcport Iluve Dis covered a New Grievance. Why don't tho men propose, mamma? Why don't the men propose'.' One uoenis just coming to the point, And then nway he goes. The young ladies of Bridgeport, Conu., believe that they have dis covered a uew grievance. They say that as soon as the weather turns cold the young men of their town become devotion itself—that is to say, they sing, they play 011 the piano, they give every evidence of being amused and eutertaiued—but they go no fur ther ! Hentiment and love to theso callow Rwains is a closed book. They toast themselves by the lire, but it does not warm their hearts. They strum "All Coons Look Alike to Me," but never touch the tender chords of "Oh, Promise Me!" When the snow melts and the frost is gone they go with it. They discontinue their visits and bask now on street corners. Tho winter is gone an«l nothing's done. The Bridgeport girls have dubbed this type of young men "Chair Warmers." But tho chair warmer is only n rural term for our old friend the "Detri mental, "so well known in the fashiou able society of New York. He is the bane of his mother of marriageable daughters. He is aggravating in the extreme to the daughters themselves. He is always in evidence, polite, gentlemanly, conversational, but he is always jnst coming to the point. He never comes. The Detrimental or Chair Warmer never stops to think that in the pur suit of his own pleasure he is working n serious iiijury to the girls he affects by keepiug off other men who might come to the point—that extremely line point which it is every woman's ambition to reach. If those Bridgeport girls discover a method of getting rid of their Chair Warmers they might send the recipe down here. Sometimes. they manage those things better iu the country than in larcre cities. FASHODA. Hv# Koiio of Content ion Hot ween the Kng« Hsh Mii'l the Freneli. Fashoda, formerly called Deuab, was passed by Sir Samuel Baker in the course of his first expeditiou up the White Nile in 18fil, but he does not mention it by name iu "The Albert Nyauza." The country of the Sbil looks was then, and indeed for some time afterwards, a hotbed of slavery, and Baker made strong tions on the state of this re,""— u in his general report on slave dealing iu the Soudan. On his return, in 1865, he found that the Khedive Ismail had taken action in the matter and that a government station had now been es tablished at Fashoda, the town being fortified by a wall with flanking tow ers completely dominating the river and garrisoned by an Egyptian regi ment. In January, 1809, Fashoda was vis ited by Dr. Schweinfurth, who speaks of it in"The Heart of Africa" as the limit in those days of the "Egyptian Empire." The town was the seat of 0 luiulir, and the subjugation of the Shillooks was then in active progress. All passiugboats were at the time com pelled to stop for several days at Fashoda,partly to complete their corn stores and partly on accouut of the poll tax, which necessitated examina tion of the lists carried by boats ol their crews aud passengers. In 1870 Baker subdued the Dinka tribes inhabiting the villages beyond the eastorn bank of the Nile at this point, and a little later the country of the Shillooks was regarded as finullj incorporated in the Egyptian domin ions. In 1873 Yussef Effendi, afterwards pasha, was made governor of Fashoda and in October of the following yeat distinguished himself by intercepting a convoy of 1000 slaves from the Bahi Zeruf. In 1870 the Shiliook tribes revolted, but the disturbauee was quelled by Gessi, who happened to be making a tour of inspection of the Bahr-el-Ghazel, of which he subse quently became governor. Iu January, 1880, Fashoda was vis ited by Dr. Wilhelm Junker in com pany with Gessi Pasha. At that time the place was maintained chiefly as a penal settlement. Dr. Junker makes special allusion to the subjection of the Shiliook country to Egyptian au thority aud mentious that long jour neys into the interior could be under taken with an escort of a few Egyptian soldiers only. In May, 1882, the Malidist rising having gained ground, Yussuf Pasha, governor of Fashoda, was ordered to advance against the Malidi. This 110 did, but on June 7 he was suddenly attacked by the rebels and utterly de feated uear Sebel Gadir. An indica tion of the importance attached by the Egyptian government to Fashoda is afforded by the fact that within a few days very considerable reinforcements were hurried up from Khartoum and placed under the command of Rashid Pasha, afterwards governor of the Red ■ea provinces. On the 23rd of November, 1883, Sir Evelyn Baring telegraphed to Lord Granville that certain measures of withdrawal were suggested. "Boats will also be sent to Fashoda on the White Nile to bring down the garrison to Khartoum." But mouths elapsed before the final evacuation of Fashoda took place,and by that time Khartoum itself was seriously menaced.—Lou don Times. Mistake of a Mud Wasp. It is generally supposed that iu stiuct unerringly teaches birds and in sects the best way in which to build their homes or nests, and also to pro vide for their offspring. The following incident, recently under personal ob servation, will show that iustinct is not always infallible. A friend placed three small empty vials iu an open box, ou a shelf, in an upright position in close contact, and they w ere uncorked. A short time af terward it was a matter of surprise to find that these had been appropriated by a female mud wasp. She had placed a goodly number of spiders iu the centre vial, doubtless intended to serve as food for her future brood; then proceeded to deposit her eggs in those on either side. She next closed tightly the mouths of all three recep tacles with a hard lime cement. Hav ing finished her work, she then doubt less veut on her way, satisfied all had been done for her offspring that a thoughtful mother could do. But just think of the sensation of those little wasps when they come into existence, for, while starving in their sealed cages, they can plainly see, through the impenetrable walls, the bountiful supply of food which was provided for their use.—Scientific American. Kducalii'i; Denf Mute* l>y Telephone. The medical officer of one of the leading deaf and dumb institutions of England states that he has obtained material aid from the seemingly im probable source of a loud-speaking telepoue in the treatment of his pa tients, in the education of such deaf mutes as possess a fragment of hear ing power, the telepone being found to possess many important advantages over the speaking tube ustially em ployed. In the first place, iu arrang ing for this purpose, the wires from several receivers can be coupled up tc one transmitter, aud thus a teaeliei can instruct a group of children at the same time; then again, it is uot uec essary for a teacher to ajiply his mouth closo to the transmitter, so that pupilt have a full view of the facial expres sions and lip movement, which is not possible when having to direct his voice iuto the mouthpiece of a speak ing tube or trumpet. While seeing the movement of the lips, the patient has the sound conveyed close to his ear drum—a most advantageous com bination,—Scientific American. THE BULL-RING AT HAVANA. No more shall reek in Cuba's (.tie The bull-ring's barbarous court, For we shall smash the hideous pile t And crush the hideous sport; And there shall we a diamond lay And bleachers build withal, And Cuba's nimble nine will play The noble game 3? I^all. The dying bull shall bleed uo more To slake their odious thirst, But death their bosoms will deplore When Dully dies at first; And grief funereal will incline And bow their doleful heads When old Havana's Baseball Nine Are buried by the Beds. No more shall slaughter's gory hand Unsluice the crimson flood, Save when the righteous cranks demand A treacherous umpire's blood: Nor shall their wild resentment cry, Their fierce displeasure howl, Save when Molony muffs a fly, Or Mullins muffs a foul. The sanguinary mob no more The plaudit's din shall raise, But Coogan's run that ties the score, The terraced cranks will praise; And Murphy's throw, and Beilly's bunt, And Dooley's triple whack, And McN'auiara's sliding stunt Will rnako tho welkin crack ! No more shall carnage rupturo yield, Nor butchery enthrall. When on the reconstructed field The umpire cries. "Play ball!" But hearts .ill thrill, and radiant eyva Will glow like festal lamps, When o'er the hills the pennant flies, And Cubu's nine are champs ! —John Ludlow, '.n Puck. HUMOROUS. She—Are you food of cauoeiug. lie—lmmeuse. You don't have to take oft' your clothes when you bathe. "Georgie, don't you see that Jane is taking your candy?" "I don't cnre. It's the kind that always make 3 her sick." The Maid—What makes you think she hasn't any children? The Matron —She was telling me how to raise mine. Why is a horse tho most curious feeder in the world? Because he eats best when he has not a bit in his mouth. "I can't understand Claudia?" "Why not?" ".She always is so much more intimate with desirable people than they are with her." Karnes Tormer—The true art of acting is to make an audience forget you are an actor. Watts—You seem to do that easily enough. "The doctor," said the young moth er, "says baby ought to have one cow's milk for his daily drink. Now,really, isn't that entirely too much?" "But how can you have the heart to deprive the poor heathen of their land?" "They would never learn the dignity of labor if we didn't." Madame Theosophia—Toll me, have you never seen a \ ision? Never wel comed some strange Spirit from the Unseen World. Mrs. Sinclair —Never. But then I entertain so little. Back Seat—Where did you get your earrings, and when did you have your ears pierced? Front Seat (scornfully) —Talk tandem, please. They were punctured about a month ago. First Criminal—So Bill, the cracks man, is in the toils at last. Second Criminal—Yes, he escaped arrest so many times that lie tiually got fool hardy aud rode his bicycle without a bell. "Now thf.'. you have lost your job as surgeon in the regiment, what do you expect to do?" "Oh, I'm all right. I've opened up a little oflice just around the corner from afootball playiug college." Once upon a time a man rose polite ly and oti'ered his scat in a street car to a woman. "Oh, thank you," cried the woman at once. This fable teaches among other things that uncoil ventiou ality is infectious, so to speak. "I guess," said Rubberneck Bill, in his most rasping tones, when tho waiter handed him a napkin, "I guess I got maimers enough not to wipe my hands on your durn tablecloth, with out you haudin' me that thing." "J am astonished," said the scofl'er, "to hear you compare our glorioua country to a small boy getting his face washed." "Me?" said the oratorical! patriot. "How? When?" "When you said it was impossible for the na tion to stand still." He—There is something I have wanted to say to you for a long, long time. She (demurely) Well—don't —don't you think this is as good a time as • is any to say it? He—That mole on tue left side of your nose —I know a uurgeon who can remove such tilings without a bit of danger. They adjourned sine die that evening. Complexion of Spanish Women. You find in many parts of Spain blue-eyed and fair-haired women, and we have in Mexico specimens of these hereditary daughters of the invading Goths, who have brought down to our times, in their eyes, the memory of blue summer seas beneath shorelanda icebouud in the long winters. And the fair hair is common, too, and somehow one never gets over the feel ing, iu listening to the soft Spauish coming from the lips of a bine-eyed and light-haired woman, that she has, perhaps, learned it as a foreigner in her early youth. But no; she is as much a Spaniard as the women whose eyes reveal the descent from the Moor or the Carthaginian, or as she who has the strong profile of the Romau conquerer. A fair woman is called in Spanish "una guera," pronounced "oonah gwajrah," or else "una rubia." Both terms are common. Among a race where the dark skin prevails, to be fair is a mark of beauty,and one often hears people speaking of some lady iu terms of praise a." "la guera." To call a baby "fair" is to capture the heart of the mother. A fair complex ioned man is "ru guero," "oon gway roh."—Correspondence in New York Sun.