Oo"to a paiinisfwhen you are bine,
and you'll come away a happier man,
says a writer. Anyhow, you'll make
the palmist happier.
Ex-Premier Crispi of Italy is re
ported as saying that "great danger
is threatening the principles and in*
stitutious of the Latin peoples."
Majors and captains will be as com
mon in this country at the close of
the present war as admirals in Spain
and colonels in the Bine Grass region.
The resignation of Spain's secretary
of the colonies may have been caused
by the fact that the near future prom
ises to make the position a compara
tive sinecure.
It is told without shame in Maine
that an amateur photographer of
Waterville took a snap shot at a friend
who had lost his balance and fallen
iato a lake, before going to the rescue.
Cricket in Australia is suffering
from the rooters in Australian "bar
rackers," bleaeheries. Mr. Stoddard,
whose English team has returned
home after a serie3 of defeats by the
Australians, complains that at every
match a portion of the public hooted
the players, Englishmen and Austral
ians alike.
Associate Superintendent of Schools
William L. Felter of Brooklyn claims
that the handwriting of the future
will not be a verticle hand, but a
round hand, with a slant off the ver
tical from ten degrees to twenty de
grees. Investigation shows that this
is the style written by business men.
These writers were taught the old
slant. 'lhey have worked up to a
slant of about seventy-five degrees.
Why have they not gone up to ninety
degrees ? Because they could not do
6o and preserve the essential element
of rapidity.
The surgeons who have been mak
ing examinations of the members of
the militia volunteers will make re
ports that will be apt to discourage,
though it may not extinguish the bi
cycle habit, and particularly the low
handlebars. It is said at the medical
department of the army that a great
lumber of the volunteers who have
oeen rejected for physical disability
ire bicycle riders, who, by that vio
lent exercise, have developed diseases
of the heart and spine which unfit
them for exposure or endurance.
These troubles are said to be con
fined almost entirely to riders who
use low handlebars and lean forward
in the saddle. This position not only
induces curvature of the spine and
ether diseases in that part of the
anatomy, but causes the other organs
to crowd the heart out of its place, and
produce irritation which ultimately
becomes chronic. As soon as they
have an opportunity to do so, the ex
amining surgeons will be called upon
for reports on this subject.
There are some questions which,
like the poor, we have always with us.
One of them is the perennial and
well-worn query as whether women
have a sense of humor, remarks the
Philadelphia Bulletin editorially. A
New York newspaper prints letters on
the subject from half a dozen women
prominent in various walks of life, in
cluding Maud Adams, Emma Thursby
aud the president of the New York
f-itate Woman'# Christian Temperance
Union, which declare that women
have humor, though they point out
that, owing to the conventional re
strictions upon their behavior, their
Bense of the humorous finds less free
expression than that of man. The
New York Post says that these women
are right, aud that it is as foolish to
ask if women have humor as it would
be to ask if they have a sense of
pathos or a knowledge of right aud
wrong. As normal human creatures,
with faculties, perceptions and emo
tions of the race of wh!ch they consti
tute one-half, they possess humor just
as they possess other attributes of
humanity. The old theory that women
were in some peculiar aud mysterious
degree essentially different from the
masculine portion of mankind is no
longer dominaut among intelligent
people. The enlightened modern
tendency is to consider a woman as
neither a queen to be worshipped nor
as a slave to be driven, but as a thor
oughly responsible, fully equipped
human being, who should be held to
the same degree of accountability as
man. It is true that there have been
no great women humorists entitled to
rank with Cervantes, or even with
Mark Twain; but this proves nothing.
Woman's humor is likely to be of a
finer, less robust character thau that
of man, and she is seldom able to ap
preciate a joke against herself. But
any man who declares that women do
not possess both wit and humor is
blteid to some of the most obvious
facts of life.
.England confers the title of second
Nelson on Dewey. To the world be
is the first Dewey. That title will
stand to the end of time.
The Philippines produce the finest
indigo in the world, but it isn't so
blue as the feeling that the American
squadron has produced there.
There are in England and Wales
200,000 children so defective in men
tal power that they are incapable of
fighting the battles of life if left to
themselves.
According to the American consul
at Sydney, Australia, "American trade
has been the meaus of emancipating
the Australians from the time honored
(tyranny of the silk hat."
The recall of Japanese troops from
Wei-hai-Wei has followed the final
payment of the Chinese indemnity.
The harbor, with its forts, now passes
under lease to Great Britain. As the
place is a much better rendezvous
than Port Arthur of Talienwan and of
stategic value, the Russians have not
gained any such advantage over their
rivals as was indicated in the first an
nouncements.
Kingsley's doctrine that "men must
work and women mnst weep" finds
disapproval in the case of the families
of Captain Robley D. Evans of the
lowa and Captain Henry C. Taylor
of the Indiana. The daughters of
both families, Mrs. Charlotte Evans
Marsh and her sister, Miss Virginia T.
Evans, with Miss Mary V. Taylor, are
receiving instructions in the naval
hospital at Fort Monroe to qualify as
trained nurses during the war. Women
have something to do nowadays more
important thau posing as Niobes.
It is a remarkable fact that our naval
heroes have seldom been honored with
prominent politi.-al office after the
achievement of tjieir victories. We
have had several soldier presidents,
but no sailor executive, yet we talk
about the ship of state. What more
natural than to put a sailor at the
helm? How does it happen that Farra
gut and Porter never became promi
nent in civil life, while so many gen
erals of distinction held political posi
tions at Washington after the war ?
asks the Providence Journal.
One by one our old poetic idols are
being shattered by the utilitarian aud
practical of the fiu-de-siecle woman
doctor. The latest iconoclast is re
sponsible for the asseveration that what
is so poetical in poetry and the old
novels about the whiteness of the skin,
means something not so poetical. It
is due, she says, to the languor of the
muscular tissues throughout the body,
and the slowness and languor that
was so often characterized as a charm
ing feminine attribute is associated
with indigestion, aud is therefore j
thoroughly unromantic. It is one of .
the ironies of life that women as thej
stand in literature aud romance art i
not true to life.
It has been recently suggested that
advantage should be taken of this in
ternational brush to attempt a practi
cal solution of the tramp question,
says the Washington Star. The prop
osition is that these wandering ne'er
do-wells be drafted into the service oi
the United States, uniformed, drilled,
armed, and sent to Cuba to form part,
at least,of the first army of invasion.
It is urged that those tramps who
seek to shirk this unpleasant duty
will naturally "take to the woods"
thus completely ridding the commun
ities that they have infested of a seri
ous nuisance. The military demands
of the government, however, are too
serious to permit the assembling of i
corps of untraiue.l, unmilitary, un
ambitious, and possibly unpatriotic
men to be relied upon for dangerous
duties. The best fighters are those
taken by their country from the ranks
of the producers, the men with a con
scientious desire to serve the nation,
who are energetic both in times of
peace and war. The greatest econo
my in warfare lies in producing a
maximum of results with a minimum
of men. The mere aggregation ol
people into ranks is not generalship.
The tramp problem lies' deeper than
this. It is not to be solved by a geu
eral conscription, unless it be intend
ed to enter upon a virtual ssheme of
extermination, which is so utterly for
eign to American doctrine, and so an
tagonistic to the principles upon whict
the war of intervention is being waged
against Spain. If the solution lies is
the line of employment let the trampi
be drafted to work on the roads.
Good roads are needed. Labor must
be had to build them. While the wai
is in progress the stay-at-home
tourists of the highways might profit
bly be set at work putting their favor
ite lines of travel in fine modern con
dition.
RALLYING ROUND THE FLAG.'
From the North and South and East and Each free man knows his State's bright
West— star
From city, (arm and plain— Shino9 in Old Glory's folds,
Loud comes a cry—will never rest— And whether he be near or far
For vengeance unto Spain. Allegiance ever holds.
The call knows never stop nor pause And if for men you shout or call
Throughout the mighty land; In millions they'll reply;
Dut rising for a common cause For that old flag, which floats for aU,
ltings out the chorus grand. 'Twould be their pride to die.
With "Yankee Doodle" "Dixie" swells Then rally 'round the flag once morel
With no discordant notes, East, West and North and South!
And Northern cheers and Southern yells Fight as our fathers fought of yore
Come from ten million throats. E'en to the cannon's mouth!
The Eastern man forgets to boast, Fling out the Stars and Stripes on high,
The Westerner to brag. And when we deal with Spain
But one cry's heard from coast to coast— Let these words be our battle cry:
'Tis "llally 'round the flag!" "Remember, boys, the Maine!"
lIN THE BAYS OF THE REVOLUTION. I
* X
A BRAVE SOUTHERN WOMAN WHO SAW HER HOME AND POSSESSIONS
INVADED BY A BRITISH HOST USED HER WIT AND COCR- W
AGE IN BEHALF OR HER HUSBAND. <JJ£
By Everett T. Toinllnson.
One warm morning in the spring of j
1780 Mrs. Slocumb was sitting on the j
broad piazza abont her home on a
large plantation in South Carolina. 1
Her husband aud many of his neigh- j
bors were with Sumter, fighting for J
the struggling colonies, but on this
beautiful morning there were almost
no signs of war to be seen. As yet
this plantation had not been mo
lested, and as Mrs. Slocumb glanced
at her little child playing near her, or
spoke to her sister, who was her com
panion, or addressed a word to the
servants, there was no alarm mani
fest. But in a moment the entire
scene was changed.
"There come the soldiers," said
her sister, pointing toward an officer
and twenty troopers, who turned out
of the highway aud entered the yard.
Mrs. Slocumb made no reply, al
though her face became pale, and
there was a tightening of the lips as
she watched the men. Her fears were
not allayed when she became satisfied
that the leader was none other than
the hated Colonel Tarleton. That
short, thick-set body, dressed in a
gorgeous scarlet uniform, the florid
face and cruel expression, proclaimed
the approaching officer only too well.
But the mistress gave no sign of fear
as she arose to listen to the words of
the leader, who soon drew his horse
to a halt before her.
Raising his cap and bowing to his
horse's neck, he said: "Have I the
pleasure of addressing the mistress of
this plantation?"
"It is my husband's."
"Aud is he here?"
"He is lot."
"He is no rebel, is he?"
"No, sir. He is a soldier in the
army of his country and fighting her
invaders."
"He must be a rebel and no friend
of his country if he fights against his
king."
"Only slaves have masters here,"
replied the undaunted woman.
Tarleton's face flushed, but he
made no reply, and, turniug to one of
his companions, gave orders for a
camp to be made in the orchard near
by. Soon the 1100 men in his com
mand had pitched their tents, and the
peaceful plantation took on the garb
of war.
Returning to the piazza aud again
bowing low the British colonel said:
"Necessity compels his majesty's
troops to occupy your place for a
time, aud I will have to make my
quarters in your house; that is, if it
will not be too great an inconvenience
to you."
"My family consists at present of
only myself, my child and sister, be
sides the servants, and we must obey
your orders."
In less than an hour the entire
place was transformed. The white
tents covered the lawn, horses were
tied to the high rail fences, soldiers in
bright uniforms were moving here
and there. Before entering the house
the British colonel called some of his
officers and gave sharp order.! for
scouring the country within the
neighborhood of ten or fifteen miles.
This sharp command was not lost
upon Mrs. Slocumb, nor was she slow
to act upon it herself, as we soon shall
see. But for the present, trying to
stifle her feara, she determined to
make the best of the situation and
avert all the danger possible by pro
viding for the comfort of Tarleton and
his men, and accordingly she had a
dinner soon ready fit for a king, and
surely far too good for such a cruel
and bloodthirsty man as Tarleton soon
was known to be.
When the colonel and his staff were
summoned to the dining-room they
sat down to a table which fairly
groaned beneath the good things
heaped upon it. It was such a dinner
as only the South Carolina matrons
knew how to prepare, and the men
soon became jovial under its influ
ences. "We shall have few sober
men by morning," said a captain, "if
this is the way we are to be treated.
I suppose when this little war is over
all this country will be divided among
the soldiers. Eh, colonel?"
"Undoubtedly the officers will oc
cupy large portions of the country,"
replied Tarleton.
"Yes, I know just how much they
will each occupy," said Mrs. Slocumb,
unable to maintain silence longer.
■c^
BOWING TO HIS HOUSE'S NECK. •
"And how much will that be,
madam?" inquired Tarleton, bowing
low.
"Six feet two."
The colonel's face again flushed
with\anger as he replied, "Excuse
me, bht I shall endeavor to have this
very plantation made over to me as a
ducal s&t."
' 'I hav\ a husband, whom you seem
to forget, I can assure you he is
not the mdto to allow even the king
to have a quffc*. seat on his ground."
But the conversation suddenly was
interrupted by sounds of firing.
"Some straggling soout running
away," said one of Che men, not quite
willing to leave the \ible.
"No, sir. Thera are rifles there,
and a good many of them, too," Baid
. Tarleton, rising q|iickly and running
to the piAzza, an example whioh all,
including Mrs. Slocumb, at onoe fol
lowed. She was trembling now, for
she felt assured that she could explain
the causn of the commotion.
"May I ask, madam," said Tarle
ton, turning to her as soon as he had
given his orders for the action of the
troops, "whether any of Washington's
foroes. are in this neighborhood or
not?"
"You must know that General
Qreene and the marquis are in South
Carolina, and I have no doubt you
would be pleased to see Lee once
more. He shook your hand very
warmly the last time he met you, I am
told."
An oath esoaped the angry colonel's
lips, and he glanced for a moment at
the scar which the wound Lee had
made had left on his hand, but he
turned abruptly and ordered the
troops to form on the right and he
dashed down the lawn.
A shout and the sound of firearms
drew the attention of Mrs. Slocumb to
the long avenue that led to the house.
A cry escaped her at the sight, for
there was her husband, followed by
two of her neighbors, pursuing on
horseback a band of five tories whom
Tarleton had sent to scour the coun
try.
On and on they came, and it was
evident that the pursuers wer# too
busy to have noticed the army of
Tarleton. Broad swords and various
kinds of weapons were flashing in the
air, and it was plain that the enraged
Slocumb saw nothing but the tories
he -yas pursuing. Could nothing be
done? Would they run into the very
heart of the camp? Mrs. Slocumb
tried to scream aud warn her hus
band, but not a sound could she
make. One of the tories had just
fallen, when she saw her husband's
■
Vo'o.
"HOL' ON, MASSA!"
horse suddenly stop and swerve to
one side. What was the cause?
Sambo, the slave whom Mrs. Slo
cumb had dispatched, as soon as
Tarleton had come, to warn her hus
band, had started promptly on his er
rand, but the bright coats of the
British had so charmed him that he
had lingered about the place, and
when the sound of the guns was
heard Sainbo had gone only as far as
the hedgerow that lined the avenue.
Discretion became the better part of
valor then, and the fellow in his fear
had crawled beneath it for shelter;
but when his frightened face beheld
his master approachiug he had mus
tered enough courage to crawl forth
from his hiding place and startle the
horses as they passed.
"Hoi* on, massa! Hoi* onl" he
shouted.
Recognizing the voice, Slocumb and
his followers for the first time stopped
and glanced about them. Off to their
left were a thousand men within pis
tol shot. As they wheeled their
horses they sow a body of horsemen
leaping the hedge and already in
their rear. Quickly wheeling again,
they started directly for the house
near which the guard had been sta
tioned. On they swept, and, on
leaping the fence of lath about the
garden patoh, amid a shower of bul
lets, they started through the open
lots. Another shower of bullets fell'
about them a* their horses leaped the
broad brook, or canal, as it was called,
and then almost before the guard had
cleared the fences tliey had gained the
shelter of the woods beyond and were
safe.
The chagrin of the British Tarleton
was as great as the relief of Mrs. Slo
cumb, and when on the following day
the troops moved on, the cordial adieu
of the hostess led the colonel to say:
"The British are not robbers, madam.
We shall pay you for all we have
taken."
"I am so rejoiced at what you have
not taken that I shall not complain if
I do not hear from you again."
And she neither heard nor com
plained.
Cooling Drinks For the Fourth.
Jelly Water—Sour jellies dissolved
in water make delicious drinks. Best
always boil the jelly in water, then
cool. In this way the jelly does not
become lumpy.
Cream of Tartar Water—Pour three
quarts of water to an ounce of cream
of tartar. Stir in it the juice of a fresh
lemon and the peel cut in very thin
strips without a particle of pulp.
Sweeten to taste. Let stand till cold
and clear. Pour off without disturb
ing the sediment at the bottom. A
tumblerful iced is a pleasant and
healthful beverage.
Orange Lemonade—To the juice of
two lemons add that of one orange, to
this amount of juice add four large
tumblerfuls of water, sweeten to taste
and cool.
Strawberry Water—Cook the straw
berries in a very little water, strain
through a small sieve, boil the juice
in a little sugar till the strawberry
color has returned, set away, and add
the right amount to a glass of water.
Soda Beer—Two pounds white
sugar, whites of two eggs, two ounces
tartaric acid, two tablespoons Hour,
two quarts water and juice of one
lemon; boil two or three minutes and
flavor to taste. When wanted for use,
take half teaspoon soda, dissolve in
half glass water, pour into it about
two tablespoons of the mixture and it
will foam to the top of the glass.
The Best Part.
On the last day of school the chil
dren of Miss Smith's room had a pic
nic in Blake's Grove, and while they
were resting from their games they
began to talk about the Fourth of
July.
"I think the best part of the Fourth
is the procession," said Margaret.
"It's so nice to hear the band play
and see the soldiers marching!"
"I like the ice cream and the lem
onade," said Tommy, "at>d the pea
nuts and candy and the merry-go
round. "
"But the games and races are the
most fun," said Albert.
"You forget the fireworks," said
Alice.
"Yes; and the firecrackers," said
Paul, "ami all the flags."
"1 think we'd better take a vote on
it," said Miss Smith.
Four voted for the procession, seven
for the firecrackers and flags, seven
for the games and races, nine for the
fireworks, and thirteen for the ice
cream and lemonade, the nuts and
candy and the merry-go-round.
"How would you have voted, Miss
Smith?" some of the children asked.
"Well," said Miss Smith, "it's hard
to decide, and I believe I should have
voted as little Sammy did, for he held
up his hand every time."
Original Declaration of Independence.
The original Declaration of Inde
pendence is in so dilapidated a condi
tion that nowadays it is rarely if ever
exposed to public view. Exposure to
light and the process of making a
duplicate copy of the declaration have
faded the ink in the historic document,
but it is still legible. Some of the
signatures are nearly faded out. John
Hancock, however, seems to have
used an imperishable ink, for his name
stanks black and bold on the parch
ment, which is now kept in a steel
safe, out of the sunlight and out of
public view.
llar<l to Choose.
"Doctor, do yon think it possible
for a healthy ten-year-old boy to get
nervous prostration from mental
strain?"
"You are referring to your own boy.
I presume?"
"Certainly."
"What are the circumstances?"
"Why I offered him his choice be
tween 840 worth of fireworks and a
new racing wheel." —Indianapolis
Journal.
For a Clianee.
Bobby—"Say, did you ever tie a
pack of firecrackers to a dog's tail?"
Percy—"No, sir, I didn't. My mam
ma's taught me to be kind to ani
mals." Bobby— "Huh! What fun
did you have then?" Percy "Oh, I
just set mine off behind girls."—
Truth.
An Up-to-Date Folly.
Mm,
Boy—"Polly want a cracker?"
|t Polly—"See here, young feller,
you ain't a going to spring that news
paper chestnut about firecracker, are
I you? Aw. co cba.se "