Providence is on the side of the heaviest battalions, and President Mc- Kinley is wise to eall for plenty of volunteers at the beginning, observer the New York Tribune. Some inventive genius in Denver has invented a spanking machine for use in schools and reformatories What's the use of introducing machin* ery for work wliich can be done equal ly well by hand, asks the Chicago Times-Herald. The pastor of a Christian church at Hansard, Cal., has been "grubstaked" by three friends for a two years' so journ in Alaska, aud the congregation agrees to cara for his family during his absence, on condition that if he strikes it "rich" he will pay off the church debt. The Italian minister of instruction has issued a circular to the directors of Bchools, in which he complains that instruction in domestic duties is too much neglected in the schools for girls, the instruction imparted being planned, seen»ingly, with special ref erence to the few who want to become teachers. The lowa state board of health has recommended that cities and towns of the state prohibit the riding of bicy cles on the streets with handle-bars more than four inches lower than the saddle, and that wheelmen be re quired to hold their heads in a position to command a view of the street ahead for at least 200 feet. All this is in the interest of health,especially the health of the man w ho does not ride a wheel. The record of the Bank of France, as a bulwark of public and private credit in that country, is one to be proud of,says the Buffalo Commercial. Secretary Gage spoke of that remark able institution—it is not a govern ment bank, fiy the way—at the Cham ber of Commerce dinner in Pittsburg as "the largest uote-issuing bank in Mie world." Its notes are based oil its assets. Its total circulation is at least $750,000,000. During the war with riermany it advanced to the French government not less than $280,000,000, "besides supplying all the commercial needs of the French people." It sus pended specie payments, but gold went to a ptemium of only 1 to 2 1-2 per cent., most of the time remaining at the first named figure. In tliis coun try, in the July of 18(54, gold was at 258. After the war and the commune, the B.mk of France was found stand ing like a rock. Thiers said it had saved the country, and that it could not have done so if it had been a gov ernment bank. A foreign authority makes the fol lowing remarks about women and eat ing: "For many yearn past the tiny appetite has been out of fashion, and girls have taken to eating so heartily, that it was only a question of time bow soon the doctors would publicly rebuke them for etiting themselves into their graves. The time has come, and a medical authority liys it down that women, as a rule, cat too much. Of course, the bicycling maiden and the golfing girl require more than their grandmothers did to sustain them in their arduous amusements, and with them the increased appetite may be healthy, but the majority of women take very little active exercise,and yet they eat almost as heartily as do their men folk." This ie a serious enough state of affairs. Perhaps if the risk were only that of life, women would not change their ways in this respect. But there is a more serious side to the question. Overeating without exer cise produces a muddy complexion. That ought to settle it und bring about the proper reform. "A Philadelphia physician" says the Philadelphia Record, "has a plan that he claims will wonderfully mitigate the suffering of a man whose body has been perforated by the modern email calibre bullet. It is well estab lished that the velocity and penetrat ing force of these bullets are so great that unless they chance to strike a bone they will pass entirely through a man's body without his knowing it. The physician's idea is to attach a small wad of antiseptic cotton to the rear of the bullet. This would be covered by the shell of the cartridge, and could not interfere with the load ing and firing. As the bullet passes through a person the wad will antisep tieize the wound and prevent conse quent suppuration. It may be possi ble so nicely to adjust the adhesion ol the wad to the bullet that as the mis sile passes out it will leave the wad to plug the hole and stop the bleeding. Ultimately this Ryntem might do with the necessity of a large medical corps, as each bullet would carry med ical treatmeut for the unfortunate it wounded." The Missouri Bar association has adopted a series of recommendations which, if followed, will radically re duce the divorce business in the Mis souri courts. A New York circus manager has* placed at the service of the war de partment twenty-five elephants for tha campaign in Cuba. In one way or an other those Cubans, sooner or later, are bound to be given a show. The proverbially dull English Sun day is disappearing under the influ ence of the bicycle. In this country the reverse is the case, declares the New York World. The bicycle has nearly killed Sunday baseball in many Western towns. There is no particular objection to jokes about the advantage of enlisting football players for the war, but the New York Tribune ventures to predict that the young heroes of the gridiron would make an uncommonly good record if they should volunteer to serve their country. Says the Boston Herald:—lt is Mark Twain who observes, in one of his sketches of travel in foreign parts, that the reason there is comparatively little arable land in Spain is because the great majority of the Spanish peo ple are in the habit of squandering it on their persons, and wheu they die it is buried with them. President Dwight reports that the already visible requirements of Yale for buildings and endowments cannot be supplied for less than from $3,000,- 000 to 84,000,000, which lie hftpes to secure during the next six or seven years. Lest this announcement should stupefy the friends of Yale, he adds that the university has received as much as that since 1887. It is a strik ing reminder of the generosity with which Americans respond to claims upon their beuevolence. The naming of the new battery on Sullivan's Island, Charleston (S. C.) harbor, after Sergeant William Jasper, is said to be the only instance on rec ord in this country of a fort being named in honor of a soldier other than a commissioned offifer. Sergeant Jas per was shot and killed at Savannah, Ga., on Oct. 9, 1779, while planting the flag of the 2d South Caroliua regi ment on the British ramparts. He had previously distinguished himself during the attack on Fort Moultrie. June 28, 1775. There is a fashion iu vegetables as in everything else. At present celery is rising to the top of the wave of pop ularity. There is good reason for the change. It is a fine appetizer raw, it is a delicious vegetable when boiled, steamed, fried or baked. It makes an admirable soup, and a superior salad. When old it has medicinal virtues, being an active nervine. The seeds dried and pulverized make celery salt, and this mi«ed with powdered pepsin, makes an invaluable remedy for many kinds of dyspepsia. The root, which most Americans foolishly throw away, when washed and boiled is a very wholesome and palatable dish. '1 he pale green, yel'o vish tips are line ornaments for garnishing meats and salads, and, to cap the cli max, the chemists now extract from the plant several new medicines of great efficacy. In general the phrase"American hu- I mor" has come to mean a spirit for catching the Judicrous and grotesque side of life. Yet the humor of Amer ica today is far deeper, maintains the Chicago Times-Herald. Grim-visaged war is not the companion to evoke light merriment even in the most flip pant minds. The righting of great wrongs does not tend to idle jesting. There are quips and jokes of the hour, but they bite with a mordant sting, and beneath the surface words betray the serious temper of the time. A zeal ous orator for war was asked: "You will goto the front at once?" "No, but my brother is ready," he replied, and asked: "Will you go?" "I suppose so, since I have no brother," was the dry retort of the man who had argued for peace. In this reply rings the quality of the speech of tkat great American, Abraham Lincoln. Such humor is of the very essence of wis dom. It betokens loyalty to the will of the people even through contempt for the inconsistent advocate of an unwelcome policy. But humor is a moftd not always of whimsical or ironical turn. That which now governs the minds of citizens is relentless and forbidding in its revolt against crnelty, injustice, and a smarting sense of be trayal. This republic, standing fore most in the eye of the world, has shown the nations that the humor of America is imperative in its demands for fair dealing and respect for the rights of men. SONC. Time may steal the dewy bloom He onn never raise the bar Of all our Bummer roses ; To that inner garden ; He eun never brine to doom He can never hope to mar Hearts where love reposes. Heurts where love Is warden. He may shower us with dole, Therefore let us not deplore He may rack the bosom ; Any stress of weather, He can never from the soul But, securing fast the door, Shake one tender blossom. Laugh at him together. Chicago Record. j . ~ THE*"fIONSTER; J J OR. AN INTERNATIONA.!. MATCH. £ frvvwy WV WWWVV VWVVVV WW Thomas P. Corbins lives a mile or two out of Hartford,on rising ground, above a pretty tributary of tne Con necticut. He is An excellent fellow, and though-his establishment is on a simple scale, because be happens to prefer it, he has made his pile. His wife is dead, and he has only one child, a pretty daughter. At present Dorothy was acting as cook, her cook in a fitof wrath having taken French leave and her waitress having her hands full caring for the house. It was a warm summer afternoon, and Dorothy wm alone in the kitchen, the ingredients for a sponge cake neatly in id out before her. The clock struck three, and just as it struck the electric train stopped before the house and dropped a young man. He was fair, his eyes blue, his moustache light, but it was not the fairness of the ,\nglo-Saxon race. In fact, Max de Resal had only very lately arrived in America. Opening the small wicket near the larger entrance, through the high red paling,he walked up a white pathway, shadowed by tall trees, and took in the character of the house he was ap proaching at a picturesque, ivy-cov ered angle. A Lapland wolf-dog, aroused from his slumbers in an armchair on the verandah, broke the intense stillness that hung like a spell over the house, and liis noisy alarm brought a tousy mop of hair to one of the Queen Anne windows iu the roof. Max felt he was expected to explain himself and said, interrogatively: "Mr. Corbins'?" but the maid, seemingly misunder standing him, waved him around to the kitchen. "Let us find the kitchen, then," he said to himself; "but Pierre shall hear of this, sending me to such a place, wasting my time." A little farther on a door was open i with a screen drawn across it inside, J and Max, without any ceremony, walked i in. The shutters were half closed to keep out the light and flies, but he distinguished a woman's figure. "I have an introduction for Mr.Cor - bins," he said,addressing her. Miss Corbins took the envelope from his hand, pulled out the card it contained and, to the horror of Max, calmly read it: "The Marquis de St, Cybars begged to remind Mr. Corbins of their ac quaintanceship anil to introduce his great friend, the Vicomte de Resal, who was traveling in America for a few months." While Dorothy read the letter, Max, becomiug accustomed to the dim light, was making up his mind that the beauty of American cooks was quite as uncommon as their manners, and Dorothy was turning over in her mind schemes for battling this would-be for tune hunter. She spoke French fair ly, and her next speech was in that language. "So it's not on business you want to see Mr. Corbins?" Up went Max's hands as if words were inadequate to express his amaze ment. "She speaks French,too!" he cried. "Madamoiselle,in my country I should think you a disguised princess. But here I have sworn that, after all the strange things I have seen in the last month, nothing shall astonish me. Still, I must confess I think Mr. Cor bius' cook breaks the record, as you say. Yes, if I have still any vestige of sense left, I think I may say 1 only •wanted to pay Mr. Corbins a visit of courtesy. " "Travelers like you," she said, a spice of malice in her tone, "are not very common in America. French men, especially don't generally visit us just for the pleasure of it." "But," he went on, seating himself on a pitch-pine chair, "I give you my word I am neither an engineer, a painter, a writer nor a singer." "Well, then," said Dorothy, using the egg-beater vigorously, "I know what has brought you here. You want to catch an heiress! Oh! you may as well tell the truth to a poor ser vant like me." "When a young man wants a wife," said Max, "of course it's an heiress." "Then you had better goto New port, sir. It's the season there just now. But stay, Newport is perhaps tco grand for a viscount. Such very rioh girls go there. What a pity, now,you're not a marquis, like Mr. de St. Cybars. He managed his affair quickly, I can tell you—l might al most say I saw the bargain struck. Servants do see so much, you know, and guess more. Poor Lily Everaou, I'm afraid she knows by this time that it does not make a girl's life happy just to be a marquise!" "St. Cybars hasn't behaved well," said Max; "but, then, you see, he never cared for her. I'm not going to make that kind of marriage." "Aren't yon?" she said. "Oh,dear, is it a poor American girl you wunt to marry, monsieur? There are plenty of that kind." "Well," said Max, "you see I'm poor myself, and, what's more, inca pable of earning my living, so I must have a rich wife. But why shouldn't a rich wife love me? I shall never marry anyone I don't love." "I'll tell Miss Corbins everything you said," Baid she. "But when you see her you won't want her—she's a monster. Her neck ia down between her shoulders, and as to figure, well, she has none." Max took from his pocket a French gold piece. "Look here," he said, "would you miud not mentioning my visit at all? I'll go back to New York and not see Mr. Corbins. I shouldn't like to spend my life with such a woman as yon describe." "Don't be in too great a hurry," she said. "If you are you may make mistakes,as the author of 'Ontre-Mer' did." "I might have expected that!" cried Max. "You know Bourget, then? What a country! And to think I'm not likely ever to see you again!" "Why not?" You can see me to morrow if you find me interesting." He paused a moment, not sure whether some other adjective might not be more expressive, but he could think of nothing better than ''Very interesting!" Then he looked straight into the honest, clear eyes that met his and, leaving the money on the table, went away. His curiosity had been aroused, he had been amused, interested; more than this, charmed. She was very handsome, of this there was 110 ques tion; figure, eyes,features, expression, all were good, and she was remark ably intelligent. Still, she was but a cook after all,who wore a white apron and beat eggs like any other cook. Next day he had not to invent even the mildest of stratagems to carry out his purpose. For reasons of her own Dorothy made things easy for liiin, and, thanks to an exciting baseball match in the neighborhood, he fouud the house as empty as the day before. "Well, you've come for the answer to your card?" she said. "Here it is. Miss Corbins wrote it before she had togo out. You really are unfortu nate about her. But she has invited yon to dinner tomorrow." He interrupted: "Just now lam more interested in something else. You have read Bourget, 1 know. Do you remember what he says about girls in America—l mean girls who—haven't much money and who are so anxious to be well educated that, togo ou with their studies, they hire them selves out in the holidays as servants? That, at any rate, was true, I sup pose?" "Oh, yes," she answered; "there was a girl here onee who real Virgil and Xenophon, a housemaid; but she had togo; she was really too fond of books." "Madamoiselle," said Max.faltering ly, "I am sure you are one of those in teresting girls." "You are paying me a compliment I don't deserve," she said, presently. "I shall always be what I am now. And don't you think," she went on, with a charming smile, "that a good cook has her value?" Then Dorothy turned to the table and went on with her jelly making. She tried to pull the cork from a bottle, and the vicowte took it from her and drew it. "This not the sort of work you were intended for, my poor child," he said. "With your mental gifts you ought to do something more suitable." But Dorothy only smiled. Then sho said: "I presume you will accept Miss Corbins' invitation to dinner?" "if I do, what good will it do for either you or me? I shall not so much as see you." "Only come," she said; "you will see me, I promise you." An hour or so later Miss Corbins received the Vicouite do Resal's for mal acceptance of her invitation. Before going to dinner the next day Max made all his preparations for leaving Hartford on the midnight train. When he reached the house the Haxen-haired XcvaScotian let him in and conducted him through large folding doors to the lair of the "mon ster." Apparently the room was empty, and Max thought he was too early. .Tuat then, through a liall'-glazed door, he caught sight of soft pull's of tobacco sinoke and heard the tones of mascu line voices. Corbins received him with the warm cordiality of an American, introduced him to the minister and then said: "I ought to have been in there to receive you, brft my daughter was, at all events. You know her I think?" "Miss Corbins is notiu the drawing room," said Max. "Is she not? On, then, there is some more bother or other in the kitchen. Ah, sir! dinners come into the world ready made in France; but here! It was just by the nearest shave my daughter hadn't to cook it again tonight herself." "Again?" said Max, bewildered and conscious that he stood 011 the edge of an abyss. "Oh, yes!" said Corbins. "For the past week she has been covered up in an apron cooking—for a house full of people, too. It seems to astonish yon, sir; 1., t wait a bit longer before you think you understand us. But here is my daughter." "Come," she said, "dinner is ready." She held out her hand to him as if no ceremony of introduction were re quired between them and, taking his arm, led him into the dining room. "Courage." che said to him, her face radiant with amusement. "Haven I I kept my promise?" "Yes," said poor Max, "you have and to such purpose that I don't know how to look you or Mr. Corbins in the face." Max never knew how he got through the dinner,and he thanked God when Corbins and the minister adjourned to the garden to smoke. Miss Corbins thought it too cool for her in her evening dress, but begged Max not to think of staying with her in the draw ing room if he wanted to smoke, too. He looked at her for a moment,then said: "No, thank you. I don't care for a cigarette tonight." "I am afraid," she said, "you are going to leave us 011 bad terms." "What do I cave if I am the laugh ing-stock of all America?" he an swered. "I only mind being a fool in your eyes. If just for half an hour or even for a moment I was idiot enough to take you for the " "Don't say the word, "said Dorothy, "if it hurts you so much. But,all the same, I'm proud of your mistake." "Ah!" he said, "making fun of me again as you did then, little as I sup posed it!" "Jh, I don't want to hurt your feelings," said Dorothy. "You'll for get all about me; you will soon be on your way to Saratoga or the Catskills, according to the addresses 011 your in troductions. You have some left, I suppose? "I have,"he said, now in a white rage; "here they are," and, taking them out of his pocket, he tore them to bits ajul threw them on the carpet at her feet. She watched him quietly, but when she spoke her voice, was a little altered. "I can give you better one«," she said, then stopped suddenly. There was nothing cruel about her, and she saw tears in his eyes. He turned away from her and, standing at the window, seemed to be gazing at the deep blue vault above studded with stars. But he soon mastered his emotion and again turned to her. "Sixty minutes more and then good bye forever. So I may speak, as I dared not if we were to meet again tomorrow. I did come to Hart ford to look not for a wife, but for my wife. I hoped to find her and take her home with me. Perhaps I counted a little 011 my happy star, but more on a loyal, honest wish to be happy with her and make her happy." Dorothy listened, softly waving her white, fiutt'y fan and taking in his every look and movement. "To hear you talk," she said, "one might believe you had been on this search for years. America is rather big, |un know." "So I thought three days ago. But now it isn't a country or a state or even .a town to me; it is all one house, this house where my destiny was to be determined. If yon knew what I felt the very first look you gave me— not a thunder clap, as sudden, but so beautiful,so sweet. You know I came here to marry you or some rich girl, and you know why I dare not say now I love you." She made a little face; to her he seemed to have said nothing else for the last half hour. He understood what she was thinking and went 011. "Ah!" he cried, "how beautiful,how dear you are! How can you think I shall forget? Think what you please of me, but of on3 thing be sure, I wouldn't marry an American girl now for the whole world." "1 haven't the whole world," sdie said, smiling; "I can only offer you "What?" he said, with a strange thrill of expectation. "Myself!"— New York Mail and Ex press. Difiuppearing Gun Carriages. The disappearing carriages are built in accordance with any one of a num ber of mechanical principles; but, whatever system be employed, the practical operation is the same. In front of the gun is an immense shield of taud and concrete presenting 110 projection or angles which would re veal its location. Behind tliisthegun lies hid. It is loaded, given the proper elevation and direction, rises, discharges its projectile, and the re coil returns it to its hidden position. To test the value of such mountings the English conducted experiments at Portland in 1.885. A pit was dug in the natural slope of a hill and in this pit a wooden model of a large gun was mounted upon a disappearing carriage. It was arranged to appear for half a minute at intervals of three minutes, emit a puff of smoke and disappear. The Hercules at 800 yards fired in ten minutes 6910 rounds from tile machine guns and 29 rounds from its 6-pound ers. The gun stuck at the seventh minute and could not be hauled down. In spite of this it was struck only six teen times, and had it been steel the effect would have been simply to scratch the paint. Besides this 28 10-iuch shells were fired at it from n distance of 2T>OO yards and no hits were made, the shell striking from 300 yards short to I! 00 yarc/s over, and from 120 yards left to 130 yards right. This was under circumstances unfavor able to the gun since it did not return tbfc fire. A fixed gun subjected to a similar test w as struck over 200 times. —Collier's Weekly. X-Itay to l»«lertnlnfi Sex. Another new use of the X-ray has recently been discovered. Much dif ficulty has been experienced in dis tinguishing the masculine from the feminine silk cocoon, and the distinc tion is important, as the former yields more silk. The female cocoon con tains many unripe eggs, rich in min eral salts. The dark shade produced by them denotes tlie sex. The wren often makes a dozen nests, leaving all but one unfinished and unused. A TEMPERANCE COLUMN. THE DRINK EVIL MADE MANIFEST IN MANY WAYS. The Silier Homo—The Action of AJcolio on the Human Orgnninn—How it In le.-feres With the Function of thn Itlooil—Slakes the Jnmeß."—Cardinal Vaughan.