A. TEXAN INNOCENT.
INGENUOUS NARRATIVE OF HOW HE
WAS PLAYED FOR A GOOD THING.
Willie Looking at the Tall Buildings In New
York Everything Portable About Him
Was Carried OfT by Entire Strangers-
Fared Even Worse iu Chicago.
Alfred S. Wagner, general traveling
passenger agent of the Texas and Pa
cific, has returned to Dallas from a vis
it to St. Louis, Chicago and New York,
(t was his first trip ou{, of Texas. He
went away with a look of childish In
nocence and gullelessness in his eye
and came back with the sordid, glassy
stare of a bunco steerer or the calcu
lating glance of a burglar. He Is old
and sad and tired. He says he lived
ten years in three weeks, and when
he left he was going at the rate of a
year a second. If he had stayed an
other half day he would have been
2,000 years old, as they count like in
Texas.
His experiences began in St. Louis.
He was standing on the corner of
Fourth and Olive, looking around at
the big buildings, when a nicely dress
ed fellow slapped him on the back and
said:
"Hello, Johnnie! How are all the
boys in Fort Worth?"
That was what Wagner had been
looking for.
"Goon off, now. I am from Texas,
but my name is not Johnnie, and I
am not from Fort Worth."
"Where are you from —Dallas?"
"That's right."
"Well, how are Cooper Nott and Bar
uey Fegan and Billle Crush and Ed
Bixby getting on?"
Wagner loosened up a little, and re
ported on the condition of the celebri
ties named.
"And my old friend, Tom Klngsley,
is he still there?"
"You bet!"
"I think you said your name was
Wright?"
"No, sir; my name is A. S. Wagner
of the Texas and Pacific, the old relia
ble."
"Yes, that's right. Wagner, let's go
and have something." And they did.
After talking awhile Wagner's new
found acquaintance had to meet an en
gagement, and Alf strolled Into the
Planters' to see what was going on. At
the door he met a youngster who look
ed at him a second and then walked
up and grasped Ills hand.
"Hello, Wagner! When did you leave
Dallas?"
"Yesterday morning."
"How can Harry Hatch and Jim
Boyle and old man Starr Jones get on
without you?"
What boots it to tell the conversa
tion that cost Wagner $10? It ought
to be enough to know that it did cost
him a bill. Vowing never to be work
ed again, Alfred went onto New York.
He had letters of introduction to some
people, but was afraid to present them,
lest they might turn out to me the
wrong people. Besides, his St. Louis
experience had made him a little shy
of Cooper Nott's friends. On the sec
ond day of his stay in the great me
tropolis he was down in City Hall
Park.
"Look at that man on the spire of
the Tribune building," exclaimed a
voice at his shoulder.
Wagner looked and looked long, but
he did not see the man on the spire and
when he turned around the owner of
the voice had disappeared. He strolled
around a few minutes. He remember
ed that he had an engagement to meet
a friend and reached for his watch.
The timepiece was gone. So he went
and bought another and kept the mat
ter silent.
Wagner believed that the next man
who got anything off of him would be
a dandy. He strapped his new watch
around his waist with a trace chain,
secured his shoes by straps over his
6houlders, fastened his necktie to both
his vest and shirt and felt reasonably
secure. That night he went down to
a music hall to see the greatest vaude
ville In America. As he was leaving
one man on a corner said:
"May I trouble you for a match,
sir?"
Wagner unbuttoned and reached in
his pocket for the match. He handed
the match, the man grabbed his right
hand while another flinched his pocket
book from his inside vest pocket. Be
fore Wagner could recover from his
surprise both men were lost in the
crowd.
He had no adventures in Chicago,
because it is said he would not venture
out of the hotel without an experi
enced bodyguard. This Is what he says
of his trip:
"I had the hottest time you ever read
about. It was a continual whirl from
the time I left Dallas till I got back,
and I am glad to get back to a place
where you can shake hands with a
man without keeping your other hand
on a gun or a knife. My! but those
towns are warm ones. New York is
said to contain 3,000,000 people. I be
lieve that 2,975,000 of them are confi
dence men and the other 25,000 are
honest }ust because it pays. Texas is
good Enough for me for awhile."
The Velocity of Ll(kt.
It requires four years and four
months for a ray of light to reach us
from the nearest star, and yet light
travels at the rate of 186,330 miles in
a second. At this rate a first-class ex
press train running at the speed of thir
ty-seven miles an hour, would require
a continuous run of 75,000,000 of years
to reach Alpha Centaurl. It would take
250.000,000 of years for a cannon ball
travelling at the usual speed of such
projectiles to reach this same point
whieh is our nearest star neighbor.
BUILDERS OF THE MONITOR.
{ Only One Snrvlvor of Those Connected With
the Const rucl lon of the " Clieese Ho*."
j Representative Sperry, of Connectl
! cut, is probably the last survivor of
the gentlemen who were closely assocl
i ated iu the construction of the famous
Monitor that fought with the Merrimae
in Hampton Roads. The three build
ers of the "Yankee cheese box" were
John Errlcson, a Swede, known the
world over as the Inventor; Cornelius
S. Bufhnell, of New Haven, and John
A. Griswold, of Troy, N. Y., the last
two being interested with Mr. Erlcson
as part owners. Mr. Bushnell and Mr.
Sperry were close friends, and the lat
ter went on Mr. Bushnell's bond for
$200,000. It should be borne in mind —
what is not generally known by stu
dents of American history—that the
Monitor was owned by private parties,
and not by the Government when she
fought the historic battle. The three
gentlemen named were authorized by
the Government to build the Monitor,
and if she was able to do what was
promised, the Government would pur
chase her. There was a great deal of
skepticism about the craft, but the
Government advanced some money for
her construction, and for that reason
the builders were required to give bond
for the return of the money if the boat
was a failure.
Mr. Sperry remembers vividly the
day of the battle for the failure of the
Monitor meant more to him than dis
aster to the Federals. It would have
taken every dollar of his property to
satisfy the Government bond.
Senator Llndiay's Wish.
"If I had plenty of money to do w".th
as I wished," said Senator Lindsay of
Kentucky to a party of friends at the
Hotel Wellington the other morning,
"I'd have music played at all of my
meals and get cigars made at fSO a
hundred. Those are two luxuries I
would most surely indulge myself in.
I'd have the music played by a small
orchestra, say a horn and two or three
violins and a flute and a bass viol, and
I'd have it play soft, harmonious airs
while I ate, and now and then I'd have
some vocal music given by colored
voices. There's a peculiar harmony in
a negro's singing tone. I'd have 'era
sing such things as "When the Water
melon Hangs Upon the Vine.' That's
a song calculated to inspire the mcrt
sluggish appetite. I remember hear
ing it once on a Mississippi River boat.
A lot of us were aboard, and in the
party was Hooker of Mississippi. There
were some darkies aboard who played
instrumental music with banjos, gui
tars, and a fiddle. I asked 'em if they
ever sung, and and they said they did
sometimes. Well, they struck up
'When the Watermelon Hangs Upon
the Vine.' Hooker had never heard it
before and it nearly set him crazy."
Rouffli on I lie Showman.
"When I was running a circus," said
a retired showman, "I never lost an
opportunity of advertising. I always
had my eye on the main chance, and
I made everything pay. I always made
it a point to get my name everywhere,
and whenever any one asked for my
autograph you may be sure he got it.
"Once when I went to a little town
a great string of boys and girls stood
in line waiting for a chance to get my
autograph on the small cards they
carried. I wrote them as fast as I
could, thinking to myself: 'Jim, old
boy, your name is getting to be a
household word.'
"When I looked round the tent that
afternoon I thought all the school
children iu the town were there. That
meant money, and I was feeling pretty
happy until I commenced looking over
tbe receipts, then I found 400 of my
autographs with the words 'Admit
bearer' written above them. That is
the only time in my life I was ever
'done' by school children."
The Salt Hal,ll,
The amount of salt required in the
system is comparatively small, and if
the diet has been rightly compounded,
very little is necessary. Some go so
far as to discard its use altogether, but
whether this is wise or not we will not
here consider. Excessive use of salt
paralyzes the nerves of taste, and in
addition there is a direct tax on the
skin and kidneys in removing it from
the blood. It is now pretty well set
tled that an excessive use of salt does
overtax the kidneys in its removal,
and that the great number of case 3 of
derangement and disease of these or
gans is due to this cause.
(tneen Victoria'* Boudoir.
The Queen's boudoir in Windsor
Castle is shown only to a few favored
visitors. Its state has remained un
altered since Her Majesty's widow
hood. On the door is Inscribed: "Ev
ery article in this room my deeply la
mented husband selected for me in the
twenty-fourth year of my reign." The
Queen's bridal wreath, with the first
bouquet Prince Albert presented to
her, lies withered within a glass case,
and on every side are evidences of the
thoughtful devotion of the Prince Con
sort to his wife.
PrenervlnK I.miKuaitea by Machine,
The Bureau of Ethnology in Wash
ington is utilizing the graphophone to
preserve the Indian language and oth
ers which bid fair to become obsolete.
A delegation of native Hawalians visit
ed the bureau recently and recorded
their language for preservation. One
of the delegation made n speech and
another sang a song.
Report br Phonograph.
A municipal council in France hai
ordered its proceedings to be reported
by phonograph. Should the expedient
prove shorthand writl&f
will b» dispensed with-
GOO'S GIFTS,
i
Pile on the logs! the bright flames
start
| And up the roaring chimney race;
How grateful should we be. sweet
heart,
I For just this little fireplace!
Draw near, and sum our blessings,
sweet;
While we are housed and clothed and
fed
The bleak winds hound from street to
street
Souls that share not life's daily
bread.
Thank God for borne! and if a knock
Sound at the door this icy night,
O let us hasten to unlock
And bring a brother to the light!
It was for this God's gifts were lent—
To light the way for those that
roam;
It was for this the Christ was sent —
To shelter those who had no home!
—Frank Stanton.
VALUE OF THE EPISTLES.
"Part of the difference in form be
tween the teaching of Christ and thai
of the Apostle comes from the fact that
St. Paul preached the gospel along the
Une3 of his own experience," says The
Living Church (P. E.) of Chicago.
"Certain critics talk disdainfully about
his metaphysical rendering of the
grandly simple truths of Jesus, but St.
Paul had to defend the truth
against philosophical attacks, and
he was wise to meet such at
tacks in the most effective way.
Christ was to him philosophy as
well as salvation, for He was the ful
ness that fllleth all things. To him
God in Christ settled every question,
both in the heavens and on the earth,
and he was ever ready to give to Jew
or Gentile a reason for the faith that
was in him. This controversy, like all
other theological controversies, is be
ing overruled by the great Head of the
church for the intellectual and spirit
ual profit of His people. Incidental
harm may be done In the confusing of
mind and shaking of faith for a few
timid believers, but the good will be
permanent and valuable. Already it is
sending our greatest interpreters of
Scripture back to an earnest and Im
partial study of the Epistles, with the
object of seeing things with Paul's own
;yes, rethinking his thoughts, and stat
ing them with fidelity and persuasive
ness. The result will be a larger ap
prehension of the value of the Epistles
to the church in our day, and a clearer
understanding of the necessity of com
pleting the picture of Christ in the
Gospels by the teaching of the Apos
tles."
Old Human Nature's Rebirth.
"Mr. Moody thinks that when he was
born of the spirit he 'got a new nature,'
and one entirely different from that
with which he came into the world.
The evidence of it he finds in the new
desires and the new directions of his
life. We suspect," says the Universal
ist Leader of Boston and Chicago,
"that if Mr. Moody should take a care
ful Inventory of the faculties and pow
ers that make up his 'nature' he would
find them to be precisely the same
that he had before his conversion. His
energies may be differently directed,
he may have tastes, sympathies, pur
poses, standards, affections, which he
had not before; and speaking in the
language of literature rather than of
science he may say that he Is another
man, with a new nature. But Mr.
Moody is a literalist. His contention
is that the 'old nature' has been ex
pelled and a literally new nature put
.n its place. That belief is a supersti
tion and a needless burden on Chris
tianity. The glory of man is, that his
aature, his old common human nature,
s capable of rebirth into the conscious
aess of higher, truer, holler life."
Come to Christ, Now.
You think it is such an easy thing to
.urn and accept the offers of salvation,
jo rich, so free, so pressing; but what
if the time should come—and it does
»me to some—when you cannot make
yourself want to accept them?
They tell us if you take one of a mi
gratory flock of birds out of the line
which the God-given Instinct has form
ed, and is guiding to its distant home,
ai.d cage it behind iron bars, it will
beat its wings against the cage In Its
frantic efforts to rise and goon Its
journey. But let the season pass in
which birds migrate, then open the
cage; your bird will not go now.
You may take it In your hand
and toe* it high into the air; It is of
::o nun; the instinct for motion has
; the bird returns heavily to the
•r:i» spot.
' 1 young hearts! now God's Spirit
;:.(.vosi jon to accept Christ, but the
may come when the door may In
•o held open for you; you cannot
.so and go.
CATHARTIC
tajdcojulo
CURE CONSTIPATION
25c 50c DRUGGISTS
I The Beauty of Forgiveness.
Lan Maclaren, in an article in "The
British Weekly," on "Forgiving One
' Another," makes this recommendation,
which can profitably be adopted by
: those who stand upon their dignity and
i refuse to forgive, and also by those
who feel that they have been treated
j unjustly. "No amount of hatred or ill
'■ usage can injure anyone if only he pos
-1 sesses his soul in patience; Aram this
discipline of suffering he may rather
win the virtues of meekness and char
ity. His one danger arises not from
his enemy, but from himself —that he
should dwell upon petty wrongs, and
grow garrulous about himself, and in
the end become peevish and irritable.
Persecutors in history never injured
their victims by Are or sword; they
sadly succeeded when the blood of the
persecuted turned into gall. He who
thinks kindly of his enemy gathers a
quick reward into his own bosom. How
soon will it all be over! How little
does any man's word matter! How
great is the love of God!"
The Um of God.
Commenting on the remark which
Daniel Webster once made in the Uni
ted States Senate that it is not worth
while to re-enact the laws of Qod Al
mighty, Dr. Lyman Abbott, in a recent
speech, observed that It is never worth
while to enact any others. "The only
thing you can do," he said, "la to know
what are the laws of right and truth
and righteousness, and then incorpo
rate them in your nation." This bears
out our own impression that Sinai Is
not yet obsolete, despite the reported
presumptuous project of building a
railroad to its summit. Reverence for
divine law still exists in many hearts.
And the best thing human society can
do is to write the eternal principle!
of that law on its statute books and on
Its own heart.
Who Should Pill the Pew*.
A minister recently gave notice to
his people that he should resign his
charge because of his inability to fill
the pews. No other cause for his res
ignation exist*. He likes everybody In
the church, and everybody likes him.
He fills the pulpit, and fills it well. The
congregation should fill the pews. If
It has come to this, that a minister
must not only fill the pulpit, but the
pews, also, we had better shut up
church.
The Bible Cunllrmed.
A piece of a tablet has been discover
ed which gives a Babylonian account
of the deluge, dating back to 2140 B. C.
Such discoveries) show the nature of
the Old Testament stories, and, with
; out endowing them with infallibility,
prove, by contrast, their moral superi
-1 ority to the legends current In all that
Eastern world.
A New Decree.
Mr. Moody s&ys that he would rath
er have the letters "G. S." signifying
Good Samaritan, written after his
name than Ph. D. or D. D. It Is not
impossible for a man to have all three
of these titles, and to de«erve them
I nil.
Flndlnn the Eternal Life.
Build new domes of thought In your
mind, and presently you will find that,
; instead of your finding the eternal life,
I the eternal life ha a found you.—Jenkln
1 Lloyd Jones.
M lore"
and v«a
Get Less
j Why is it every sarsaparilla
, which tries to sell itself, rangea
I itself against Ayer's as the stand
j ard ? Why is it that all have to
offer extra inducements bigger
j bottles, fancy wrappers, cheaper
price anything, everything, but
| the one inducement of quality ?
Sarsaparilia
| has never been equaled by any
i cheap imitation of it, and quality
' tells, just as blood tells.
II Is me Stsndard.
" I ha™ sold Ayer's Sarsaparilla for more
than twenty-five years, and have never
heard anything but words of praise from
my customers; not a single complaint hc«
ever reached me. A preparation must
possess great merit to maintain such a repu
tation. I believe your sarsaparilla to be
the best blood purifier that has ever been
introduced to the general public. I often
hear other manufacturers say that this is
"as good as Ayer's," but no one ever yet
heard it said that Ayer's was "as good as
any other kind. Thev always set Ayer's op
as the standard of excellence." —S. F.
Eorcr, Duluth, Minn.
Something to know!
Our very large line of Latest patterns of Wall Paper
with ceilings an<f border to'match. All full measure
ments and all white backs.! designs as low
as $c per roll.
Window Shades
with roller fixtures, fringed and plain. Some as low
as ioc; better, 2sc, 90c,
Elegant Carpets
rainging in prices 20c., 25c., }sc., 45c., and 68c.
■EI
antique" Bedroom Suits
Full suits $ 18.00. Woven wire springs, $1 .75.
3£Soft top mattresses, good ticks, $2.50.
pillows, sl.7s per pair.
CANE SEAT CHAIRS for parlor use 3.75 Bet. Rockers to
•< match, 1.25. Large size No. 8 cook stove, $20.00; red cross
ranges s2l. Tin wash boilers with covers, 49c. Tin pails—
14qt, 14c; lOqt, 10c; Bqt, 8c; 2qt covered, sc.
Jeremiah Kelly,
HUGHESVILLE.
HAVING PURCHASED T
GRIST MILL Property
Formerly Owned by O. W. Mathers
at this place
1 am Now Prepared
To Do All Kinds of Milling on Very Short t
Notice With W. E. Starr as Miller.
Please Give a Trial.
FEED OF ALL KINDS ON HAND.
W. E. MILLER,
FORKSVILLE, PA.
N. B. All parties knowing themselves indebted to me will
confer a great favor by calling and paying the account
due, as I need money badly at once.
Respectfully yours, W. E. MILL R.
UJill Cast Ccn m
Days!
The Sale of L.L. Berman's Stock of Children's
Clothiug.
If you have not already taken advantage of this opportunity
for purchasing Children's Suits, age from 4to 16 years, at less
than half price, it will pay you to do so now.
Don't let it pass without getting some of the bargains which
we are offering.
Such good clothes have never been sold at these prices
before.
Children's suits, which Bjeinan made to wholesale at $1.5
We sell at 86c
Suits, which Breman made to wholesale at 12.50
We sell at 150
All wool suits, which Berman made to wholesale at j|3.0l
age from 4 to 15, J
We sell aty 1.75
The best all wool worsteds, which Breman madp to whole
sale 5.00 and 6.00 J
We sell at 3.00.
Come and buy them now as this is the last chance.
All the winter goods-men's, boy's and Children's Over
coats; Ladies' Coats and Capes; Ladies' and Gents' underwear;
will be sold at
Less than Half Price
Biggest bargains in Ladies' and Gent's shoes ever offered.
New goods for spring and summer arriving daily.
The latest styles of Neckwear and men s shirts just receive*
also knobby footwear at very low prices.
Come and see for yourself, whether yon bny or not, will w
glad to show our stock and prices. It will surely be to youi
own interest.
i i Da- The Reliable Dealer in Clothing
JaCOh I cr Boots and Shoes.
U VM * HUGHESVIU-E, jPA.