Sullivan republican. (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, April 05, 1895, Image 1
SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY, Publisher. VOL. XIII. "3tateswomen" is the correct thing locnll tho femalo Australian poli tician. Tho Japs will beforo long bo a for midable factor among the world's naval powers, predicts the St. Louis Star-Sayings. In France it is decided that tho makers of bicycles are responsible for ilamagos when an accident occurs through a structural fault in a ma chine. During tho last two months of 1891 iho number of serions crimes reported in Egypt was 234, as compared with 484 during tho samo period in 1893. I his is regarded as very satisfactory. It is estimated by somo that tho present coinage valuo of gold bullion is about forty per cent, of its market value. The remaining sixty per cent, is the value given it by demand for use in tho arts. The Seciotary of tho North Caro liua Board of Health cites numerous cases where neighborhoods almost nu inhabitable on account of malaria be camo healthy when artesian water was substituted for that from steams or surface wells. The Southern States are dotted with gold properties from one end to the other, avers tho Atlanta Constitu tion. Tho Virginia-Maryland gold runs in a southwesterly direction through the middle sections of those States and continues its course into North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama into Mexico. This belt covers at least twenty counties in Virginia, and quartz veins exist of i mmem-ofeize in Fauquier, Goochland, Louisa and other counties, quartz taken from veins at different sections showing by (ire assay from 810 to SIOOO gold to the ton. Two years ago six hundred pounds of ore wero takon . from a vein near Montgomery County, Maryland, near the Virginia border, which yielded $30,000 gold, this be ing a pocket. Tho ore of this vein nvoraged SSO to tho ton at a total ex pense not exceeding $3. The sod bouses in which many of the farmers of Western Kansas brave the blizzards are admirably adapted to the purpose. It should also be said that they are the coolest of dwell ings during tho heated terra. The manner of construction is as follows: ''The farmer cuts tho slabs of sod for building purposes just as sod is cut for transplanting grass. The buffalo grass indigenous to the Western Kan sas country grows like a thick mat of tough herbage. The slabs of this sod, about fifteen by twenty-four inches and four inches thick, hold together with tho consistency of felt. They aro laid in courses like building stone, and pressed closely together, and tho roof is made of timbers and frequently thatched. The inside is then smoothed with the native lime, which makes an excellent plaster. This coat of lime is sometimes applied outside also, but usually these sod houses present a natural dun color like the winter prairie. In some cases tho floor is mado by excavating a few feet and tramping theground solid with horses; otherwise a regular wood floor is laid. Tho window and door frames are fitted as in building stone house. The sod house contains frequently only one room, but some have two and even three rooms." Tho sod house lasts about five years. The students of sooiology, and par ticularly that branch which relates to our foreign immigration, will be in terested in a table compiled by Wil liam E. Curtis, of the Chicago Record, which shows tho proportion of foreign born citizens of the United States who own the homes in which they live, and the percentage of those homes that are free from incumbrance. The following gives the percentages in fifty-eight cities of more than 50,- 000 population: Percentage Percentage Nationality. own"-*, froe homes. German 31.85 ti1.39 Scandinavian '24.60 45.04 Irish 24.40 68.35 Scotch 25.10 62.00 French 24.00 74.61 English and Welsh 23.40 56.7'J and Huns 21.93 58.87 English Canadians 19.77 53.51 Busslans and Poles 14.87 43.39 CaniKilan French 13.87 45.79 Italian 6.28 70.82 The average of ownership for tho whole population of the fiity-eight cities is 24.88 per cent, and 61.64 per cent, are free of incumbrance. The average home ownership for natives of the United States in these oities is 23.41 per cent., and 61.86 per cent, are free of incumbrance. It will »e no ticed that the Frenchmen ure least given to mortgages, and that tho Itiiliuu, Hthough ho seldom buys a home, is accustomed to pay for it. TREK MEMORIES. The woodland stretched its arms to mo, And into its heart I wont, While by my sldo invisibly Walkod musing-eyed Contnnt. The woodland spake no word to me, "*5 I But, oh! its thoughts wore sweoti Against my spirit like a sea I felt tho thought-waves beat. Before my vision starved and dull Tho wood shapes dropped their gold; The young child tree? were beautiful- More beautiful the old. Within their halls of memory What heavenly scones are drawn— The stream, tho wild birds' company; Tho sky's cool fa.-e at dawn. Tho golden lanees of the suu, Tho rain that fools its wav; Tho twilight steps that one by ouo Lead to tho moon's white ray. The multitude of bright loat forms Engraved on earth and air; The black and gold of midnight storings Tho bluo that violets wear. These throng the greenwood memories Upon this perfumed track The thoughts of all the silent troo3 Go wandering back and back This is the charm that cometh last, Of all their sweets the sum— The feeling of groen summers past, And fair groen springs to come. —Ethelwyn Wetherald, in Harper's Weekly. BARCLAY'S* ROMANCE. SUMMER afternoon 112 f~l drowsed lazily over \ I the world. A breeze came faintly up /C§j—from the south and drifted through the 'jlwindow and rustled rJimPrt*' the papers on Bar elay's desk. Then it >'i Tw iJE jf died away in an ex -f- Ilipal> cess InQguor. Barclay was deep in the intricacies of a will case. The boys said if ho had come into the world and not found sorao kind of a law case ready for him to plunge into, and a poky ono at that, he would im mediately have left it iu disgust. They also held, with that intolerance of dulness that is characteristic of brilliant youth, that it would have been no special disadvantage if he had. "If I must have been bo rn an oyster," said Lance, "I should prefer to be of the edible variety, that I might get rid of myself in same way, were it only by being eaten." Elsie Fane camo iu to see Mr. Clogg. He was an old friend of her father, and she was privileged to come when ever she liked. Now that the Mesa land case was on she found it agree able to come with soma frequenoy. Should the Mesa case be lost Will Arden would have to begin the world again with no more money in his pooket and far less hope in his heart than when he started out ten years ago ta make his fortune. Then Elsie would goon dancing at charity balls and seaside hops with partners she hated until she had grown too old to dance even at Mrs. Frump's poky "at homes," and then she would settle down as a spinster aunt and devote the rest of her life to hearing her brother's children say the multiplication table and giving them gruel when they were ill. She wondered if she would ever learn to administer gruel otherwise than externally. The last time she had experimented with her youngest sister that small rebol had signified her preference for clear water for bathing purposes. Sometimes in her moments of most concentrated woe she fanoied some thing yet worse. She might marry Mr. Qrumple. Mr. Giumple wore a wig and had rheumatism when it rained. It rained quite often. Mr. Grumple could not waltz oven when he had not rheumatism. How divinely Will waltzed 1 The ohildren might grow out of the gruel and multiplioa tion-table stage, but Mr. Qrumple would never grow out of rheumatism and wigs. When she oamo in the clerks rose and bowed with what was intended for exceeding grace, aDd eaoh was glad that he did not simper as absurdly as his neighbor. Barclay looked up. She smiled when she saw him and disappeared beyond the inner door which concealed that vast repository of legal lore, Clegg, from profane view. Smiled on Bar clay 1 Was there ever anything so pre posterous? The summer day drowsed on until it fell fast asleep. Barclay folded his papers in his methodical way and put them into the flleholder. Lance said if the building should catch fire Bar clay would not approach the door un til the papers had been lolded in their usual creases and put away, earliest date on top, and fastened up. Then he looked the door and went away. Lance had speculated upon the possi bility of Clegg's ever being opened or closed again if Barolay should happen to die. Any one watohing him—only that no one ever did watch him; what would have been the use, when there were so many more interesting people in the world to look after?—would have thought what a plodding fellow ho was. Why was he so devoid of that electrio energy which is the only thing that can transform existence into life? He turned off the main street into a wide avenue bordered with maples and rang the bell of a huudsome stone house. When tho door opened he entered add passed through a hall which led to a spacious library pan elled in oak and tilled with that mag netic oharm which only the presence of books can give. Elsie Fane camo out from ft cur tained window where sho had been reaning. "I am glad you have come," she said. LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 1895. He looked at her, thinking how like a lily of the valley she was. She had once given him a cluster of the little white bells, fastening it to his but tonhole, laughing at the idea of his wearing a flower. He had worn it to the office ; where upon, after the first moment of petri faction consequent upon such an ap parition, Lance had rushed out and secured the largest sunflower the market afforded and fasteued it to his coat, where it shone like a mammoth gold dinner plate. Hal had adorned himself with a cluster of hollyhocks of unoxampled magnificence. "But you are never glad, bo I can not expect you to be glad to seo me. Sit here where the wind comes in fresh and cool. You must get awfully tired in that poky old office." "I am a poky fallow; I don't mind it." "But you ought not to bo poky. Mr. Clegg told papa you know more about law than he does." "But law is a poky subject." "Papa said it was you who won the Moleford forgery case." "I only did the plodding." "Papa says it's the plodding that counts." "Maybe so. But anybody can do it who is willing to spend the time. My time is not worth much." "How very slow it is 1" "Yes. Wehavoone caso that has beon going on for thirty yours." "I shall be very old in thirty years, sha'n't I?" "I don't know." He could not imagino her being old. He never remembered that he was old except when ho was with her. Then ho realized that ho was thirty seven, even by the calendar; in reality he must be about a hundred. "We won a ease last week that Mr. Clegg inheritod from his father. All the people interested in it are dead except one. He is in the insane asy lum." She sat for a moment gloomily si lent. "I wish I could understand tho Mesa case." "If you could you would be better informed than any one else." "Don'i, you understand it?'' "No. Neither does Clegg. Nor anybody. I'd better go now, in stead of staying hero and making you dismal, I'm always being disagree able." "No, yon are not. You only tell me the truth." "Telling the truth is tho most ob noxious way in which a man can make himself disagreeable as a general thing." "Will you not stay and dine? You never stay with us now." "Thank you, but thefe will be com pany and I am dull. People don't want dullness at dinner." Elsie shrugged her shoulders, after an expressive but inelegant fashion she had. "They usually got it, whether they want it or not." She looked after him as ho went out, wondering why he never could be like other people. Thon she fell to musing upon the criminal inadequacy of the law. It had been evolving for centuries and was still unable to de cide the Mesa land ease in Will's favor. What a fossilized institution it wag ! No wonder Barclay was dull. In the autumn Barclay took A vaca tion. He also took away the breath of the offioe. Barclay had not before had a vacation since ho was a gram mar-school boy. "Next thing," said Hal, "Mount Shasta will apply for leave of absence and go oft on a yachting excursion in northern seas." The autumn rains were falling on the Pacific slope. A pale-green vel vety carpet was being woveu over the wide plains. The Pacific summer had begun. Ditches which had by cour tesy borno the name of rivers had suddenly put forth legitimate claim to the appellation. Bridges were washed away, trains were delayed and ran on eaoh other's time; a telegram went astray. Thus it happoned that the Westward-bound passenger crashed into a freight that was lumbering along to the East, and in an instant became a mass of splintered wood and bent metal. When Barclay began to realize him self he was crawling out from under two heavy timbers that had so inter fered with each other in falling as to avoid crushing him under their weight. He had always thought the advantage of having few wits was that if they happened to be lost it would not take long to pick them up again. He breathed a few times to see if he oould, and in a moment was hard at work tearing away the heavy fragments of the wreck, helping to release those less fortunate than he. One after an other ho carried out, some groaning with pain and more quite still, having passed forever beyond the world of pain. He heard a man's voice calling for help. Putting forth all his strength, he lifted away the heavy pieces of wood from tho placo whence the sounds eame. The man crawled out, stood erect when he was quite free from his prison and gave utterance to a succession of oaths that struck with grim deviltry against the appalling awfulness of the soene. Lying at his feet was a dead woman, her face turned up pathetically towards the stars. There was something fascinat ing about a man who could give way to a tide of profanity in such a place. Barclay followed him a few steps. "How can you say such horrible words when you have just escaped so awful a death?" "The very reason I can,"hereplied, gruffly. "If I hadn't escaped I couldn't say them." Something in his voice rang famil iarly upon Barclay's memory. He fol lowed yet further. "I know you now. I was coming to see you." Tho man turned and faced him abruptly. "Barolay, by all that's fiendish!" He stood silent for a while as if made speechless by surprise. "You must be growing neighborly. You aro not used to paying mo vis its." "It's tho first time you ever had arything I wanted." "I thought it couldn't be for lovo you had come." "Not for love of you." They were walking towards an adobe hnt that stood by the roadside. When they reached it they entered and seated themselves by a table in the middle of tho floor, facing each other. "What is it you want? You havo boon long in coming for it, whatever it ie." "You, at least, should not complain of my lack of promptness. It has giveu you plenty of rope to hang yourself with. Why didn't you?" "Perhaps I should if I had known that you were coming. As you are here you may save me the trouble." "You are the contestant in the Mesa case?" "What is that to you?" "It concerns you only that it is something to me." Ho took a paper from his pocket and laid it beforo him. "I want you to sign that." The man scowled as he read it. It was a relinquishment of all claim to the Mesa land. "I won't do it." "I think you will." "Why do you think so?" "You will romember first tho par ticular thing for which you are wanted over on the Atlantic coast. Thon you will roflect upon the effect of Eastern atmosphere upon the health of a man who is wanted as badly as you are. After mature consideration, you will decide to sign." He pulled a pistol from his pocket. Barclay struck it from his hand, and it flew through the opou door of the hut. Then he drew his own pistol and aimed it at the head opposite. "I give you three minutes to sign. Here is a pen with ink enough in it to sign all tho names you have. One is sufficient —tho one under which you claim the land." The day after Barclay's leave ex pired Elsie came in. When she left Mr. Clegg's room her face was radiant. Sho did not see Barclay bending over his desk. Perhaps ho did not see her. His face was bent low over the papers in the Jarvis vs. Leighton corporation suit as she went on her unconscious, happy way." "Barolay grows more and more of a stick every day. How oan a man be such an insensiblo machine?" "Oh, he's comfortable enough, I dare say." "Comfortable !" said Lance, witn a superior air. "I suppose a log in ■ swamp is comfortable. I would rather be a little more uncomfortable some times, and have some life in mo." llow Two Hun ire:! Llres Were Saved. Captain Edward Smith, of the steamer Yesso, which ran out of Balti more up to last year, once savod 200 lives in a collision similar to that of the Elbe and Crathie. Ho was mastor of the stoamer Karo when she ran her bow into the side of a Russian passen ger steamer. A mate on the bridge of the Karo was about to ring full steam astern and back away from the Russian, when Captain Smith stopped him. He kept the engines of the Karo going half speed ahead, and her bow fast in the gup she had cut in the side of the other steamer. Oyer 200 peo ple passod from the dock of the Rus sian steamer to the deck of the Karo and wore saved. The Russian vossel went to tho bottom. While Captain Smith was in a foreign port he ro ceivod a cablegram that his wife had given birth to twins at his home in Charleston. Ho camo to Baltimore last April with tho happy news in his possession and started for Charleston. He arrived there to find both wife and children dead. Captain Smith took to his bod and died shortly after.— Baltimore American. Hlo Cat With a White Tall. As you seem to be interested in cats, and as I am too, I make bold to ask you a question : Did you evor see a cat with a white tail ? I have been looking for one, simply as a matter of curiosity, for about fifty years, and have never seen one, although I have Be en many pure white cats, except that their tails, or a part, were not. I was asked this question when a small boy by a person probably as old as I am now, and he said he had never seen one, though he was induced all his life to look for one, just as I have, and for tho same reason, so this would make n search of considerably over a century on this question of natural history, and as in this long space there is no authentic aecouut o' any one ever having seen a cat with < tail all white, I am almost tempted tc believe there is no such thing.—Balti more Sun. A Unique Exhibit at Atlanta. M. F. Amorous, of tho Atlanta Lumber Company, has in view an ex hibit at the Cottou States and Inter national Exposition whioh will he an object lesson of unique and startling character. It is proposod to combine all forms of woodworking machinery, from the log to the finished product. Logß will be brought from the forest and given to sawmills of various typos, thence to driers, planers, finishers and wood-working machinery. It is pro posed to make cradles, cotfius and everything in wood that comes be tweeu. This novel idea is a practical ono and the exhibit is expected to be one of the features of the exposition. —Chicago Herald. THAT DOLLAR WHEAT. IT WAS PROMISKO THK FARM Bit BY THE FREK IRADKRS. Bat the Farmer Receives 481-2 Cents a Bushel Short of the Dem ocratic Promise—Wheat Worth Something In Protection Times. The annual report upon tho far u erops of 1894, issued by the Depart ment of Agriculture, suggests an in vestigation as to tho realization of those dollar wheat promises that wero made by the free traders during the Presidential campaign of 1892. We accordingly take the averages for the three McKinley years of protection and compare them with the averages during the two years that the free traders have had tho opportunity to give the farmers their dollar wheat. Thus: Avekaoe annual value. Per Team, Totnl crop. Ter bushel, Acre. 1890-2 $390,119,423 *0.767 $10.1( 1893-4 219,536,703 0.515 6.3; During the three years of protec tion, 1890-1892, the farmers of tho United States received an average of $170,583,720 a year more money for BjJfL Wheat E Imm ''5.91 Bashel&! ijs 5 ||f«reach person| ;'•£# s£s |. ,in the I, ia<*a ; 'l jfefiS lr»wsw», Hl' i—i |.J for «och perwn igjjj work is ,{ Unfted StatesJj \- BMcb !'OM w««« !§ ts&wfl! v a|s,h«riib> t »*g#| &§ atlkamleof j ;f - gp«!, s&dk if , ITIOT6 ,1 thai SjjjV i l * m J^ioniyofatojf UJhjj IDheal Sella Sloui their wheat crops than they did in 1893 and 1894 under tho free trade administration. The wheat crop was worth 53.84 an acre more under pro- ' tection than in tho free trade times. The average price was 7fi 7-10 cents per bushel on tho farm under protec tion, but only 51S cents a bushel since the free traders have had the oppor tunity to pay tho fibers that dollar • bushel. It must not be thought that tho low price during 1893 and 1894 was due to unusually large crops. It was not. The average harvest during the throe years of protection was 508,997,000 bushels a year, whereas it averaged only 428,199,570 bushels a year for 1893 and 1894. Under protection the ■ yield averaged 13.2 bushels an acre, but during the two years of the free trade administration the yield aver aged only 12.3 bushels an acre. Tho free traders had everything in their favor for high prices, yet the farm value of their wheat has been just 48J cents a bushel short of that promised dollar. Can this be the resultot sell ing in the markets of the world? Cotton Grown (or Nothing. During the twelve months ending December 31, 1894, we shipped abroad, to foreign countries over 1,000,000 bales more of raw cotton than during the calendar year 1893, the exact quantity being 614,000,000 pounds of cotton greater than we sold a year earlier. This is very encouraging aud indicates great prosperity for the southern section of the country where our cotton is grown, until we turn to the values, where we find that cotton growers received $3,700,000 less money for tho larger quantity of cotton which they sold in 1894 than was paid to them for a smaller quantity which they sold in 1893. In other words tho cotton growers of the United States planted, cultivated, harvested and marketed some 700,000,000 pounds of raw cotton and simply made a gift of it to tho manufacturers in the United Kingdom, Germany, France, British North America and Mexico. The Gortnan tariff openod these for eign markets, and they were undobt edly wide open and waiting to receive our cotton on suoh terms. This is u condition that confronts cotton grow ers ; it is not a theory. Labor Busy in London. 17 112 R 11 A Chicago Opinion. Tho speoial representatives of pro tection iu Congress and elsewhere in public life have had their day. They will disappear as party leaders. They are discredited iu the partisan poli tics of the country. They will di'op to the rear of the marching columns. —Chicago Herald. Excepting, perhaps, tho army of 251) representatives of protection that will control the House of it jpresenta tives in the Fifty-fourth Cougress. Terms—Sl.oo in Advance ; 51.25 after Three Months. Ticking in the South, The Charleston (S. C.,) News and Courier rejoices at the excellent qual ity of bed ticking produced by one of the manufacturing companies of South Carol in a, and observes: "There are probably two or three million beds in the State. Equip them hereafter with mattresses mule in the State of homemade cotton and home-woven ticking. Patronize home industries; it will help the industries and help the State." We are glad to know that the home market idea is taking root in the Southern mind, but we cannot see how our free trade friend of the News and Courier can hope for a continua tion of the thrift of the ticking mills and all the other faotors concerned in the production of its goods, under the now competition which will come under the more than 33-per cent, re duction of duty provided in the Wil son tariff, now in operation. For the ten months previous to the active operative of the new tariff there were imported over twenty million yards of ticking and kindred material, this under the protectivo rate of the McKinley law. Now, what can our contemporary expect under the present 33-per cent, reduction, but the most serious competition for the business now enjoyed by the Southern mill ? Instead of twenty million yards of ticking and like material, are we not apt to have this quantity multi plied over and over again. Just now there is some attention turned to cotton mill building in the South. If our friend of the News and Courier would hasten the movement of the mills in his direction he must protect them. If ho would have them earn dividends hem -st protect them. If he would have e standard of wages maintained ill -ho South and the prices for cotK n upheld ho must protect the industries wnich consume them. Still we are glad to know that even the sentiment of protection is ticking in South Carolina. Eli Perkins Scores One. As free frade is mutually beneficial, why (by tariffs) debar men from mu tually increasing wealth and happi ness by trade? Theodore J. Webner. Newark, N. J. Free trade is not mutually bene ficial. It is beneficial to a low wage eouutrv, but not to a high wage coun try. Freo trade allows a low wage country to ship their manufactured Koods into a wage country and close their nulls, or compel their high wage workmen to work for half their present wages ox starve. When we have free trade our conutry could never ship one knife or plate or yard of silk to Europe or Japau till we had llieir low wages plus llie freight. Who would buy u knife made by two-dollar labor when you could buy the same knife mado by forty-cent liber in Bel gium? Protection makes high wages, prosperity and happiness in America. Free trade with us would starve our workmen, close our mills, but it would make Europe prosperous. Free trade would drop wages in Amerioa and stop mills, but it would tuako happi uess aud prosperity in Europe and China. With free trade only the freight (15 cents per hundred pounds) would separate wages. l)o you want their low wages? Em PekslNS. Why Cotton is Cheap. RFH /HH J y r ' c HE<\p en&USH African WOOL COTTON 41 Cents. 39 Cents. Progress Under Protection. TheNews and Courier, S. C., though usually very pessimistic, occasionally has its bright side, as follows: "The capital employed in cotton milling industry in the South in creased from $22,000,00,) in 1880 to $108,000,000 in 1894, an increase of nearly 500 per cent, in fourteen years. The number of mills has increased in the same period from 180 to 425, looms from 14,323 to 68,205 and spindles from 667,754 to 3,033,859." Surely no other section of the coun try in the world, not even in free trade England, can show Mich mar velous industrial industrial growth. Why does the Nows and Courier desire to change the conditions that brought about this wondrous development? Industries That, Prospered. "Tho only American industry which has prospered under Democratic rule is the gold exporting business."—New York Commercial Advertiser. Not the only one. There aro also the industly of the Sheriff, the soup house industry, tho free oread indus try, the free olothiug industry and the general freedom of labor from in dustry, which have all prospered biuco March, 1893. Two Tears More. jjabor'.- o!.l f.ieads demand F.-ou eiion ar.il tellfei; Thoy l-n.ve • ;st rights in this freo land, llio "• cor law'' will be brier. Care.- up my friends, the world still nuv Hut two years more of blight. ibon will run on broader grooves: Wo nee the dawn of lie;'it. —J. R. A Market lor Cotton Goods. The English trado journals speak of the African demand for British manu factured cotton goods, which is "in creased continuously almost day by day." NO. 26. A I.IFE'B EPILOGUE. 1 turn t*io tiny key and scan with eari My roliquary's treasure unbcholden. I tell their talc, those hoarded locks of hair, Tho sheeny-blaek, tho silver-gray, tho golden. What envy I yon sinitors, lofty-throned, Who voieo eaeh mood lu life's eternal proem? No sweeter lovo than mino their lips havo moaned, They sang their songs—but I havo lived my poem. —G -ant Allen, In Ledger. HUMOR OF THE DAY. A bookkeeper is one who borrows but never returns. —Life. There is more history to be made than ever was written—Judge. Tho very safest train to take is tho ouo that immediately follows a dis aster.—Puck. A curious sociological fact—That the Old Girl frequently develops into the Now Woman.—Life. Some people know a good thing when they see it, and others think it ought to take notice of them.—Puck. It is believed that even tho old woman who lived in a shoe insisted on having it several sizes too small.— Puck. "See here!" said tho cup to tho coffee, "your account has been stand ing long enough. It's about time you settled." —Life. "Tho pleasantest way to take cod liver oil," says an old gourmand, "is to fatten pigeons with it, and then eat tho pigeons."—Tit-Bits. Little Freddie, in a dark cellar with his uncle, clinging to him in great fear, said: "Wo ain't afraid, are we, Uncle Tom?"— Judge. To-day brown eurls are clustering Upon her forehead, bless her; Time flies, twelve hours elapse, and They're clustering ou her dresser. —Puck. Mr. Park Hill—"Were you awaro of the fact that tho gentleman who sat beside you at supper was a baron?" ITr. Harlem Hites—"No, but I judged from his conversation that ho was barren of ideas."—New York Ledger. Attorney—"l havo no fears of woman filling all the avenuos of pub lic life." Lady—"And why so?" Lawyer--"Where is the woman who will claim to bo tho peer of the mod ern juryman." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "You brought all that beautiful china back with you?" exclaimed the caller. "Didn't you break any thing?" "Nothing but the customs laws," replied the smiling youug lady, who had just returnod from Europe. —Chicago Tribune. "I understand," said the masculino gossip, "that the Due do Binklobeau is to marry Miss Millions." "Well," replied the man who is in the publish ing business, "that won't be the first financial success due to a catchy title." —Washington Star. "Mamma," said Willie, "do you pay Jennie sls a month for looking after me?" "No, §l<>," said mamma. "She is a good nurse and deserves it." "Well, I say, ma, I'll look after my self for $lO. You'll savo $0 by it."— Harper's Young People. Chronic Grumbler—"Look hero! There's no meat in this sandwich." Affable Waiter—"Thou why do you call it a sandwich? I am surprised that a gentleman of your erudition should commit such a solecism in rhetoric."—Bostou Transcript. What's tho use of all this fuss and worry and questioning about what tho men are going to do while their wives are at literary clubs developing their minds? If worst comes to worst tho men can stay at homo and look after the baby, can't they?—Fresno Repub lican. "Well, Mrs. Parslow, I suppose you are doing as many other ladies do nowadays, taking lessons ou tho bi cycle?" "No, Mr. Johnson, lam not. All the lessons 1 have had sd far havo been off tho bicycle, but I hopo soon to take them on it, as you suggest."— Harper's Bazar. Timid Guest—"l have a delicato wife, and if I stop at your place I want to be suro there is a good doctor near by." Aspiring Clerk (briskly)—" You neodn't be alarmed, sir. We've got a fine man within call. Why, ho has just pulled through six of the toughest cases of smallpox I ever heard of." Brooklyn Life. Son-iu-Law (to Register) —"I jist cam' tae register the daith o' ma mither-xn-law." Register "When did she die?" Son-in-law—"Weel, the fac' is, sh's no jest deid yet; but the doctor says she's gaun tae gio us that grief vjra sune, sae I thocht it micht bo as weel tae provide against conteengencies. "—Household Words. "The other day I was walking be side a railway line with a man who was very hard of hearing. A train was approaching, and as it rounded the curve < the whistle gave one ot those ear-destroying shrieks which seem to pierce high heaven. A smile broke over the deaf man's face. 'That is the first robin,' said he, 'that I have hoard this spring.' " —Life. Early Use ol Cupper and Hold. Gold, because it was found pure and fairly tractable, was probably the first metal used by man. Copper, it is true, is found us a metal, but only in one comparatively restricted locality. Occasionally gold fish hooks have been discovered in graves in New Granada. In mining a tunnel in Cauca a gold hook was tound in 1882 fifty feet un der the surface of the ground and be neath what must have once been the bed of a river. Copper fish hooks havo been fouud in many of the an cient burial mounds of Peru. —Chi cago Herald.