SULLIVAN JSSKREPUBLICAN.
W. M. CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. XIII.
But ono per cent, of tho eutire pop
ulation of this country has been di<
vorced.
A Minnesota judge has just ruled
that a husband is responsible foi
slanders uttered by his wife.
Tho ninotoenth century will bo end
ed with tho end of the year 1900, and
aoi at its boginning, as a great many
peoplo supposo.
The year 1894 in tho United Statea
closed with 9800 murders to its debit.
"There are not 300 murderers on trial
ii.this country at present," signifi
cantly remarks tho Detroit Free Press.
Lord Ooleridgo and others have
formally protested against tho use of
ncti-toxine in English hospitals on
tho ground that "publio money ought
not to bo devoted to experiments in
physiology."
A Texas judge has declared the anti
scalper law unconstitutional. He says
that when a railroad company sells a
ticket it presumably gets all it is
worth, and that a scalper has the same
right that dealers in other second
hand articles have.
W. H. Hnrvey and his wife, Mrs. L.
M. Harvey, of Pullman, 111., have
been admitted to tho bar of Whitman
County. Tho New York Sun shudders
to think of what would.happen if they
happened to bo retained on opposite
sides in the samo case.
It may bo fairly questioned, admits
tho New York Recorder, whether tho
army and navy of Japan are not now
equal to those of several of the Euro
pean powers, and whether the new Na
tion on the Pacific isn't in a command
ing position for futuro diplomatic vic
tories.
The Meade Couniy (Kentucky) Mes
senger complains that there are many
prominent farmers in that county who
take no interest in politics. "Men
who own hundreds of acres of land
and who aro rated high in their com
munities," says the Messenger, "can
aW ♦«!] yon who aro the probable can
didates on the State tioket."
The number of desertions in the
French army increases constantly. In
a single week lately no fewer than five
deserters arrived at Strasburg alone;
while at the present time some six
hundred French deserters live in Al
sace-Lorraine. About the same num
ber have taken up their residenoe in
Belgium; and Switzerland boasts a
still larger contingent.
It will be remembered how the tor
pedo boat, the Cushing, sneaked into
Newport harbor in spito of the fact
that a sharp lookout was kept for her
ashore with them istance of big
searoh-lights. The value of these lit
tle destroyers is shown to the New
York Sun in despatches from the seat
of war in China. The destruction of
the biggest ironclads in the Chinese
navy seems to have been the result of
audacious and successful dashes by
these tiny craft. They can finish any
thing afloat so long as they are not
found out in time.
The fish supply in Lake Ontario is
substantially exhausted, and the Chi
cago Herald announoes that the sup
ply in Lake Erie is going rapidly.
Fishermen have oaused the fish famine
by selling for fertilising purposes the
small fish caught in the nets with
those of eatable size. The Ohio Leg
islature is trying to devise a law for
fish protection in Lake Erie, but such
legislation praotioally would be use
less unless similar laws were enaoted
by other States bordering on the lake,
and by Ontario. The maguifioent
flsh preserves of the United States are
not exhaustless, and, unless care is
taken for their perpetuation the finny
tribes in publio waters will follow the
fate of the buffalo.
An attractive feature of the Cotton
States and International Exposition,
to be held at Atlanta, Ga., next Sep
tember, will be the reproduction of
the World's Columbian Exposition in
miniature by G. W. Ferris, the builder
of the Ferris wheel. The great World's
Fair will be reproduced in its en
tirety, complete in every detail, on a
scale of l-140th. This makes the
Manufactures and Liberal Arts Build
ing about ten feet long, and the whole
exposition seventy-five feet long.
Searohlights will be shown on the
battleship and the various buildings,
the intramural railway will be seen
with oars in motion, tho whalebaQk
steamer be seen arriving and de
parting, and Lake Miohigan will ap
pear in the distance. By electrical
and meohanical effects, sunrise, day
light, moonrise and the White City by
moonlight will appear in succession.
YOU NEVER CAN TELL.
You can never tell when you sand a word--
Liko aa arrow shot from a bow
By an archor blind—be it cruel or kind,
Just whero it will chance to go.
It may pierce the breast ot your dearest
friend,
Tipped with its poison or balm;
To a stranger's heart in lifo's great mart
It may carry its pain or its calm,
you never can tell when you do an act
Just what the result will be;
But with ovory deed you are sowing a seed,
Though its harvest you may not soe.
Each kindly aot Is an aoorn droppod
In God's productive soil;
Though you may not know, yet the tree shall
grow
And shelter the brows that toll.
You never can tell what your thoughts will
do
In bringing you hate or love;
For thoughts are things, and their airy
wings
Are swifter than carrier doves.
Thoy follow tho law of the universo—
Eaoh thing must create its kind;
And they speod o'er tho traok to bring you
back
Whatever went out from your mind.
Ella Wheeler Wiloox, in Munsey.
HE DKEW TEN THOUSAND.
fT 3.45 on the af
ternoon of March
6, 1887, the pay
ing cashier of the
bank, in the
city of London,
cashed a check
for 810,000,
drawn by the
highly respected
firm of Ployd,
Qow & Co., oi
Fenchnrch street,
merchants. It was presented by the
manager of the firm.
At 3.55 the manager of Ployd, Qow
& Co. handed in his books and checks
amounting to $20,000. Tne paying
cashier looked up as he heard his
voice.
Ho called some one to take his
place and disappeared into the sec
retary's room, aud withiu twelve min
utes the police were at work on tho
case.
The check presented at 3.45 was a
forgery and tho man who presented
it Bomo "buminy," who had made
himself up like Mr. Smith of Ployd,
Qow & Co. 's.
This was not a difficult task. The
counterfeit mail was tho same height
as the original aud about the same
make. Smith had not spoken 100
words to tho cashier during the five
years his firm had dealt with the
bank.
He always woro a blue sorgo offlco
coat whatever the weather. He al
ways woro a silk top hat, and it invar
iably worked its way to tne back of
his head before he had worn it three
minutes.
No one ever saw him at the bank
without his gold-riiumed oyeglasses
and his tightly rolled umbrella.
Smith had a friendly nod for the
patrons he knew in a business way,
but he seldom spoko a single word to
any one.
Officers wore tent to every railway
terminus; they searched tho hotels
and very likely placo for a man to try
to chango his clothes. It' the fellow
had not some safe hiding place se
lected in advance the chances were
more than ten to one against his mak
ing an escape.
In room sof Cremane's private and
commercial hotel, which I will admit
was not a first-class establishment, but
still good enough for a traveler earn
ing 320 a week, I read most of the
particulars given above in the even
iug paper. Tho officials had done
their bent to keep tho whole affair
dark until some clue was gained, but
the roporters had been too many for
them.
I had como in from my round of
calls utterly tired out. Beaching my
room, I pulled off my boots, lighted a
pipe, sat down with my feet on the
bed, and this bank business was the
first thing which which caught my eye
as 1 glanced over tho paper. I had
just finished the article when the night
portor came up.
"Heard about the bank swindle?"
he asked, as ho entered my room,
without the preliminary trouble of
tapping.
"Jußt read it."
"Cool chap, wasn't he? And, I
say, there are a couple of detectives
downstairs now. They say they've
shadowod him here, aud they're go
ing to search the whole place. They
uro on tho floor below now, and will
want to come in here in a minute."
He had scarcely finished speaking
when the mon appeared. I was a head
shorter than Ployd's manager. I was
thin, while he waa stout, and I was
young, while he was middle aged.
But those old sleuthhounds oame in
on tiptoe, looked at me out of the cor
ners of their eyes, and sat down on
the edge of my two chairs to question
me, the bigger of the two taking the
precaution to place his seat between
me and the door. It was fully a quar
ter ot an hour before they had fin
ished, and then they seemed to take it
as a personal injury that I hadn't com
mitted the crime.
Before my visitors left one of them
suggested with u wink to his comrade
that I might as well bo taken along on
general principles, as there was no
telling what I would not own up to af
ter a week in prison. But the other
was not so evil minded.
In fact, he took a fatherly interest
in my welware and put his hand upon
my shoulder pleasantly and compas
sionately as he advised me it would be
better to restore the money while
thore was yet time. I refused to dis
gorge, and he went out sorrowing,
saying that I had missed a golden op
portunity aud that I should like to re
pent and wear a convict's suit.
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 29. 1895.
Tho hotel was thoroughly searched.
Those men did their duty ; and I think
would havo carried off every soul
within the place as a suspicious char
acter had not the manager interfered,
and the detectives finally withdrew,
with at least two pocketbooks crammed
with notes.
At 10 o'clock I was finishing my
third pipe and had long before ex
changed my paper for a novel. I was
just getting sleepy when a queer thing
happened.
My bed was in ono corner of the
room. I sat on a chair on the left
hand side, with my feet across the
middle. I had my book on a line
with my eyes, and all had been quiet
for the last half hour, when suddenly
a voice exclaimed:
"Well, old man, that must be an in
teresting yarn."
I bounded to my feet and—Sfcw no
one. I looked around the room care
fully, peering into every oorner—no
one. I slipped toward tho door on
tiptoe and opened it with a jerk and
saw—no one.
Then I turned, and there was a man
standing on tho other side of my bed.
He wasn't a ghost. lie was mado of
blood, flesh and bones like myself.
To say I was frightened is putting
it mildly. I was scared. I sank right
into a chair, with my mouth open and
my eyes bulging out, until my visitor
laughed outright.
"Who are you?" I gasped, faintly.
"Well, that's a fair question," he
replied. "I supposo you've got a
right to ask. For the last three
hours, up to a minute ago, I was the
man under the bed, and now I'm the
man on the bed," and suiting the ac
tion to word he lay himself out at full
length.
He was a 000l hand. I knew human
nature well enough to know he had
plenty of nerve behind his check.
"It wasn't all put on. As he lay
there I notioed a revolver in his hand.
Then I began to understand.
The evening paper had given a por
trait of Smith, and I saw this was his
double. It dawned ou me all of a
sudden that he was the identical
chap.
"You were under the bed when I
came in?" I queried, as we sat looking
at each other, and I was wondering
how to reach the bell.
"Exactly," he replied.
"And you heard what tho portor
said and tho detectives?"
"Every word."
"And, to como to tho point, you're
the man they want."
"I am."
"How the dickens did you get
here?"
"I didn't chooso this abode for its
comfort," ho said, "nor for its com
pany. I had other plans, in fact. But
they misoarried. I dodged into this
hotel in searoh of a toinporary asylum,
and it looks as I had found a lunatio
asylum. Did you ever see 810,000 in
one pile? It's a refreshing eight.
See here."
Ho watched me with piercing eyes,
and though he was toying with his re
volver carelessly enough I saw he had
his finger on the trigger all tho time.
He bent over from tho bed ond
picked up a bundle oi notes from the
floor.
"This means a visit to the tailor's,
quail on toast with champagne, a long
trip to America or tho Continent,"
and he fondly patted tho money. "So
they've got an aocount in the papers,
have they? I'd like to read it.
Thanks."
He skimmed through tho artiole
with evident enjoyment, now and
then chuckling to himself. The ho
said:
"Pretty close shave, that. I'm sorry
for the caßhior, but supposo he will
wriggle out of tho responsibility
somehow. Exouse my asking tho
question, but what do you do for a
living ?"
"I'm a traveler in calicoes."
"Married?"
"No."
"Ever been abroad?"
"No."
"Look here,oldchappie,"he went on
with easy familiarity, as he stretched
himself on tho bed, "you're giving
mo shelter and I'll do you a tain.
Hand in your resignation and come
with me. It will do you good and,
open your eyes. This little pile will
do us first class for a year - "
•'l'll see you hanged first, you
cheeky villain," I shouted. "I'm not
making tours with bank thieves and
jailbirds. Your trip will ond in pris
on, if it Ooesn't start there."
"Too peppery, altogether too pep
pery for the head traveler to a respec
table firm," ho quietly observed.
"And do you think I'll be arrested, as
jou know so much about it?"
"Certainly. I'm going to take you
down stairs and hand you over to the
police."
"That's a lio," he said, as he swung
his feet off the bed and stood up. "I
don't blame you for refusing a trip to
America, but pleaso don't make an
idot of yourself in other ways."
"How do you mean?" I asked, also
getting up and trying to keep my
head.
"Just look at things straight and
you'll see. I'm no ohickeu. Having
played for a big stake and won it, I
am not likely to let myself bo balked
by a kid like you. I'm armed, as you
see. You're not, so keep your back
hair ou. Even without arms I oould
do for you, being the larger of the
two."
"You cold-blooded scoundrel," I
muttered.
"No, don't oill names. It's low,"
ho said, pleasantly. "Let's consider
what is your path of duty. I've got
the best of the bank. And how many
people have the bank got the best of
before? Last year over twenty banks
closed their doors in tho face of de
positors. Every failure was brought
about by some kind of fraud. And
don't flatter yourself that you owe a
duty to the public. Tho public would
let you starve or freeze and not move
a finger. You owe a duty to your
self. It is to take change of air. And
now's your ohanco. . Preserve tho
present state of your health, that's my
advice, and very good advioe, too."
"All of which means," I interpased,
"that you will shoot me if I give the
alarm ?"
"Precisoly."
"Then I shan't do eo.'"
"I thought as much."
He climbed again onto the bed and
continued: "I thought I was right
when I sized you up. We have now
come to an understanding. I've got
ono or two favors to ask, but I won't
keep you long, and I see you want to
goto bed. Ah, thero are your sois
sors. I must sacrifice my mustache.
Please sit over by the window."
He laid his revolver on the dressing
table and cut off his fine chestnut
mustache. I sat watching him and
wondered if I had gone out of my
mind, or if, perchance, I was dream
ing."
'Ton shave yourself, don't yon?"
ho finally askod, as he turned round
and faced me.
I pointed to my razor and strap,
and in barely another moment he
stood before me clean shaven.
He had sandy hair, while his eye
brows were almost red. There was a
bottle of black ink on tho table. He
dipped hiß handkerchief into it and
painted his eyebrows. With tho same
fluid he made as neat a black eye as
any prize fighter would care to boast,
and he was chuckling as he turned to
me:
"Just one thing more, old man—a
suit of clothos. I must get off this
blue serge. Perhaps it will fit you.
Your oldest suit, please. I will pay
cash for it."
I handed over a much worn suit.
"Rather a tight fit, but it will do,"
he said. "Here's 825 for it."
"I don't want your dirty money," I
said, savagely.
"Don't be finicky, it's silly. Now,
then, to wrap up the money in a news
paper, and then I'm off. Look here,
my boy, take this 8500; it will make
up for any little inconveniences I have
caused yon."
"I'd starve first."
"Oh, como now, you're too good for
this world. What are you going to do
when I leave the room?"
"Kick myself for an ass and then go
to bed most likely."
"Goto bed without the kicking
part. You are a very sensible young
man, you may take my word for it.
If I'm arrested I'll say nothing about
what happened hero. Ta, ta."
He reached tho doorway and thon
ho turned. "Hero's a present for
you," he sang out and threw his re
volver on the bed. "Its no use to me,
I lost my cartridges getting here.
Adieu," and he was gone.
I locked the door and sat down.
After a quarter of an hour I slipped
into bed. The next morning I awoke
with a fearful headache. 1 went to
my dressing table, apd there, rolled
up in a neat parcel, was tho 8500.
Did tho man get away? Yes; he
walked downstairs and out into tho
streets, and the detectives never got a
clew of him after that night.
About tho money. I returned it to
the bank by post, and that part of the
business is still worrying the detec
tives. I could tell them a thing or
two, but I won't. —Boston Post.
A Wonderful Stone Saw.
A newly devised stone saw that has
been putin operation in West Phila
delphia is demonstrating extraordinary
cutting powers as compared with
former processes. It is the invention
of an expert stone mason and carver.
By tests made with tho saw, using a
chilled-iron shot abrader and cutting
through tho hardest of all brown
stone, known as tho Hummellstown,
using a block of stone ten feet by six
inches long aud two feet two inches
in thickness, tho following results
were attained:
Tho first cut through was made in
one and three-quarters hours, the
second, with increased feed, in one
hour, and tho third cut, with the full
limit of speed, in three-quarters of
an hour, which is equal to cutting
thirty-three inehes per hour. Four
inches per hour has boon considered
good work in the ordinary mills of
the country with other saws.
Thin slabs are also out, leaving no
ridges on the face of tho pieces after
cutting, although the saw passed
through various veins of flint.
In the improved saw .is used a
lineal or horizontal motion, while in
other saws the pendulum motion has
been depended on. Further, the im
proved has a thinner blade, with
thicker teeth, which allows the abrad
ing material to fall down botwoen the
teeth to the bottom of the kerf.—
Philadelphia Ledger.
He Killed Superstition.
The Count de Lesseps never seemed
to lose sight of the oducation of his
children, even in the smallest detail.
One morning at breakfast a beautiful
Dresden teacup was broken. "Ah!"
cried the Countess, "a disaster! Two
more of that set will now be broken.
It always happens so." "Are you so
suporstitious," asked the Count, "an
really to believe that two more will be
broken?" "I know it." "Then let
us get it off our minds." And, taking
up two of the cups by the handles, he
dashed them together. The anger and
dismay of the Countess proved con
clusively that she had not seriously
held to her superstition. It also
loosened any hold the absurd idea
may have had on the minds of the
children.—New York Recorder.
Lucky For Her.
Concealed in candle moulds that
had been unused since her grand
mother's time, Mrs. White, of Middle
town, Mass., found a quantity of bank
notes a few days ago.—New Yurie
Journal.
i SUICIDAL POLICY.
TIIK SOUTII HAS CUT OFF ITS
NOSE TO SPITE ITS FACE.
Cheap Foreign Wool Now Used In
the North us a Substitute For Cot
ton— Sugar Can Save the Plant
ers—Ell Perkins In the South.
I have visited several old sugar plan
tations in Florida during the lost
week. The great freeze which dropped
the mercury twenty degrees bolow
freezing point from Palatka to St.
Augustino has frozen a third of the
orange orop and killed all tho old
trees. The calamity brings sadness to
all Florida. When I asked Judge
Hunt, of Palntka, how. ho felt about
it ho naid : *
"This frost has been a calamity to
our State, but it stops with tho
orango groves. Overproduction was
killing the orange industry and provi
dence has como to our rescue. But
there is another overproduction in
the South in a worse condition than
the orange crop."
"What is that?" I asked.
"It is cotton, sir. Our farmers are
now getting 3i and four cent a pound
for what we used to get ten cents for,
and it is going lower every day. Whon
I think how foolish we Southerners
have acted it makes me sick. We hail
the clianee to save ourselves offeree
us and we threw it away. We are now
convinced of our own foolishness."
"Well, what havo you done?" ]
asked.
"We could not have done worso,"
said tho Judge. "We know now that
choap wool is a substitute for cotton.
That is, cheap cotton was substituted
for wool, but now cheap wool is a
substitute all over the North for cot
ton. Cheap Thibet, Asiatic and Aus
tralian wool used to cost from sixteen
to twenty-five cents. We Southerners
thought it was smart to stab the wool
farmers and take tho ten cent tariffofl
of wool. Wo did it and now that same
wool is being sold to Northern knit
shirt and cloth factories for from six
to iifteen cents. With six-cent wool
tho mills are throwing back our cot
ton. Who would not give two cents n
pound more for woolen shirts or cloth
than for the same things mado of cot
ton?"
"How much cotton will this throw
out of the market?" I asked.
"A million bales, sir. A friend of
mine who has been in the New York,
Connecticut and Massachusetts mills
writes mo that 'cheap foreign wool is
hurting the South more than the
North. It will reduce the demand for
cotton a millionbales,' he says, 'and
send the price of cotton down to 3$
cents to our cotton farmers.' Then
see what idiots wo havo been on the
sugar question !"
"What have you done?" I asked.
"Why, we Southern men voted
solidly against the bounty on sugar.
Sugar was growing prodigiously in
Florida, Southern Alabama, Louisi
ana and Texas. It was spreading all
along the Gulf of Mexico from Lake
Charles to Corpus Christi. It was
going up the Brazos. In five years,
with tho bounty which Germany kept
on till she now makes sixty million
dollars' worth of sugar annually—l
say iu five years this sugar would have
taken 2,000,000 balos of cotton out of
our way and put $50,000,000 worth of
sugur in its place. Think of it, wo
Southeri"'r.» havo cut off tho demand
for cotton a million bales iu the North
anil increased our product 2,000,000
bales in the South.
"What made you do it?" I asked.
"Oh, politics. Dog-on silly, idi
otic politics. Wo thought we must
back the Democratic party, and now
they've swamped themselves in the
North and made paupers of us in the
South."
"And what do you propose to do?"
. "Why, let us put that wool tarifl
back aud let our chenp cotton take
tho place of Asiatic wool, and then
put that sugar bounty ou again and
eend sugar into the cotton fields.
Editorials in the papers and prayers
in the churches won't save us now.
We must quit politics and use our
brains!" En PERKINS,
Avenues That Arc Open.
Free traders, as a proof of tho ben
eficial effects of the Walker tariff of
1846, are accustomed to speak ol the
number of miles of railroad built dur
ing the years from 1846 to 1860. They
tell us it was the time of tlfe opening
up of the great West. They might aa
well say that the discovery of gold in
California was the result of the
Walker tariff. Those very things
which they cite—viz., the building of
many miles of railroad and the open
ing up of the West —show the reason
why the panic was delayed until 1857
instead of following on the heels of
tariff reform, as did the panio of 1893.
In the years following the Walker
tariff, men who were thrown out of
employment went into the unde
veloped West as miners or as pioneers;
they found work in the construction
of railroads. While these avenues of
employment wore open the panio was
warded off. In these present days of
tariff reform our workingmen have no
suoh refuge, but tramp our streets
searching for work. These have been
the only avenues recently open to
thein.
Know It Now in London.
It is now apparent to tho country
at large that the Democratic Adminis
tration at Washington is merely bung
ling through an attempt at govern
ment, and that oharaoter and brains
are thoroughly lacking, as well as
proper appreciation of public sonti
meut. Tiie true hypocrisy of this Ad
mistratiou threatens now to bo fnlly
exposed duriug tho last two years of
it< curious existence. Horucastle's
(London) Monthly Ciroular.
Termß--••1.00 in Advance ; 51.25 after Three Months.
FARMERS AS BOOKKEEPERS.
Must. Attend Commercial Colleges to
Supply Income Tax Information.
While tho American farmer is busily
engaged in making a statement of the
valuation of his property and his
stock, so as to bo ready for tho incomo
tax collector, who is as necessary an
evil in this country under tho policy
of free trade as he is in England, it
may console tho American farmer to
learn that his brother farmer in Eng
land has been receiving a little gift in
tho shape of a revised circular con
cerning the incomo tax in that coun
try.
There tho tax is payable on January
1, a sort of New Year's gift which the
farmer is compelled to disgorge as his
tribute toward free trade. There the
farmer has the option of being taxed
at a rate of six cents in the pound
upon the actual value—that is, tho
rental value—of his land, although he
may decida to bo taxed as an ordinary
trader upon his average profits during
three preceding years. In the latter
case an examination of his accounts
during that period is necessary, so as
to show the farmer's exact position.
During his leisuro moments tho
farmer here, as well as in England,
should take a course in bookkeeping,
if he is not alreidy an expert in that
necessary branch of busiuess. Wo are
not aware of tho exact form in which
the farmers must mako their returns
in this country, but in England a
blank balance sheet is prepared and
distributed for tho farmers to fill out,
requiring many items and particulars
which the average farmer could only
furnish as an estimato, and many
others which it would be impossible
for him to furnish unless ho were an
expert bookkeeper.
Should the farmer desiro to appeal
against the amount of his taxation, the
timo wherein he can appeal or lodge a
claim for tho repayment of a portion
of his tax is very limited. The tax
collector, however, is allowed at least
six months wherein to consider such
claims and make repayments, so that
if the farmer bo compelled to pay un
justly any amount in excess of what
tho law properly demands, he may
mako up his mind that fully a year
will elauso before he secures any re
fund. These aro a few of the incidents
of an income tax, which is and must
be always a necessity and part of a
policy of free trade.
Carlisle In 1892.
Carlisle in 1895.
Their " Vantage Ground."
Both Fresident Cleveland and Mr.
Wilson have described tho present
Democratic tariff as merely a "van
tage ground" from which to wage furth
er attacks upon the protective sys
tem, aud they pledged themselves to
continue to "shell the camp of monop
oly" the moment that Congress reas
sembled. "Shelling the camp of
monopoly," in Democratic phraseol
ogy, means closing the workshops and
factories —in brief, to wage war upon
the industrial and agricultural pur
suits that are the bedrook of the coun
try's wealth and welfare.
A Stormy Tyip.
Couldn't Stomach It.
The leaveu (of tarif reform) didn't
have timo to work and soured on the
stomachs ol the people.—Birmingham
(Ala.) Age-Herald.
That's so, and thoy spewed it up at
once. It was too nauseous to digest
and it will never again be tasted.
NO. 25.
THE DRAMA OF THE ROSE.
*
Once I was white as any sn«>w that fulls
From the fur skies, with storm and suu
light blended;
Until that day when stood a hero splen
did
Before the Hon in the ltoman stalls.
Then, when the beast's loud roaring shoo!
the walls
And cheer on cheer in thunder tones as
fended,
A woman's hand, all white and undo
fended,
Plucked mo and cast me fr m their coro
nals.
He caught me—kissed me—held me to hif
heart;
A momentary glitter in the air—
A roar of voices! * * * Well he played hi?
part!
And I—prono with him, but vigorouf
there,
Caught on my petals, scented by the south.
The red rain dripping from the lion's mouth
—Frank M. Stanton, in Atlanta Constitution
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
No man ever traveled to fame on a
pass.
When a man is bis own enemy he
can't help winning tho light.—Ptiok.
"There goes an old flame of mine!"
as the sun said when the comet camo
into perihelion.—Puck.
Dentist —"What are the last teetb
that come?" Brilliant Student—
"False teeth, I guess."—Life.
Example is stronger than precept;
but precept is expected to do a gieat
deal of example's work—Pack.
His love, he said, was like the sea.
Tho maiden nnswored quick
She thought that he was right in that
Because it miwle hor sick.
—Life.
Of courso wo don't know what it »
to pass a night iu the tomb, but we
have slept iu a spare beilroom. -Atchi
son Globe.
"So Mr. Onedge is averse to musio?"
"I should say so. He won't even use
rubber bands in his office."—-New
York Mercury.
"I see you have a glass eye, Pat.
"Yes, yer'aniK r ; but it's a swindle,
sir. I can't see nuthin' out ol it." -
New York Mercury.
We often hear men complaining of
their hopes being dissipated, and as a
rule that's just what ails tho complain
ant.— Richmond Dispatch.
"When will man be able to fly?" in
quires an exchange. Just as soon as
he has been a trusted bank cashier
for eight or ten years.—Troy Press.
This world would be a happy world
And men would all bo brothers,
If people did themselves one-half
That they expect of others.
—Boston Courior.
Mr. Smith is an estimable and ami
ablo but harmless gentleman who
during his lifetime lias starved his
brains to feed his whiskers.—Syracuse
Courier.
Mrs. Bacon—"lt is terrible down nt
your boarding house. You can nevei
get any hot water." Mr. Bacon
"Only wo have soup, my dear."—
Statesman.
A clergyman named Fiddle refused
to accept tho title of D. D., because,
as he said, ho didn't want to be called
tho Bev. Ichabo Fiddle, D. D."—New
York Mercury.
"How could you conscientiously toll
Miss Elder that sho is tho only woman
you ever loved?" "It is a faot. Com
"pared to her, the others wero mere
girls."—Boston Budget.
Bagley—"That pawnbroker bowed
to your wife; does he know hor?'
Brace—"l presume he feels that he
does; he has seen her picture so often
inside tho case of my watch."
Blinks (meditatively)—" What a
greedy world this is; the great ma
jority of people, always after money."
Hardup (sadly)—" Yes; and a long way
after it, too.Buffalo Courier.
"Your new servant girl is very
pious, I hear?" "Yes. If she was as
careful about tho crookery as she is
about the ten commandments she
would be a jewel."—New York Press.
"So Rusher has got a job at last,
eh? I wonder is it that one with the
sleeping car company?" "I guess
not. At least he told me he'd struck a
comfortable berth."—Buffalo Courier.
Primus—"Dalton'ssight has become
strangely affected, poor fellow. He
sees everything double." Secondus—
"By Jovel I'm glad you mentioned
it. I owe him a pound, and I'll tender
him this half sov."—Tit-Bits.
"Dear me," said Mr. Meekins, "it
seems so absurd for men to be con
stantly talking about their wives
having the last word. I never object
to my wife having tho last word."
"You don't?" "Not a bit. 1 always
feel thankful when she gets to it."
An Irishman recently applied for an
enlistment in a United States army re
cruiting office. "Do you know any
thing about drilling?" asked the offi
cer. "Oi do," answered Pat. "It's
twelve an' a half cints a yard at anny
av th' dry goods shtore*." -London
Globe.
I Kate—"l want, to tell-Aunt Susan
about my engagement, but I don't
know whether I can trust her or not.
I don't want it to get out just yet."
Edith- "Trust her? Of course you
can't. You know she makes no secret
of her age, and a woman who will tell
her age will t«ll anything."—Bostou
Transcript.
The Reprehensible Small Boy.
There are somo smart boys in Mas<
sachusetts. The Massachusetts school
law does not permit the schools to be
kept unless the thermometer registers
above forty-flve degrees in the school
room. Under this law one school in
Worcester has had many half holidays.
Finally the teacher disoovered a six
year-old boy pocking the thermometer
with snow below the bulb.--New
Haven Journal and Courier.