SULLIVAN JHFIFE REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY, Publisher. VOL. XIII. The farmlands of this country are cstimatod to be worth $13,279,252,- Gl9. A prominent Guatemalan official enid that though war between Guate mala and Mexico might be delayed for a yonr, it was sure to come. Tho Peoria Herald says it is almost impossible for tho average American mind to comprehend how Casimir- Perier, with a salary, as President of tho French Republic, of 3300,000 a year, could make up his mind to re sign. According to Iho figures of Chief Engineer Parson?, of tho New York City Rapid Transit Commission, tho cost of the proposed electric railway under Broadway will bo $Li(>,000,000, exclusive of expenses for right of way, damages to buildings, etc. The proposition to builu a memor ial bridge across the Potomac River, connecting Washington City proper with the great Arlington estate and National Cemetery, is again before Congress. It is hoped by the Invent ive Age this matter will bo given tho serious consideration its importance merits. Such a structuro is needed, nnd that it should bo a magnificent piece of engineering—a monument to tho genius of the present day—goes without argument. Tho cigarette youth merits almost nny treatment that will squelch his fatal habit, believes Tho Pathfinder. The latest method, that of donvin** him admission to the public schools unless ho gives up smoking has been employed in a Missouri town. This sort of ostracism may bring pretty effective influenoo to bour through tho parents. But may it not cause some stubborn youngsters togo the other way into deperate paths? Wo havo in this country many churches with a very large member ship, somp of them numbering over 2000. But in Europe the ohurohes boast of many more members than this —2OOO being ss a rule but a fair-sized congregation. There is one ohuroh in St. Petersburg, Russia, numbering nearly six thousand souls. The larg est membership, perhaps, in the world is that of a ohuroh in Elterfield, in Rhenish Prussia, whioh has over six thousand. The congregation has six pastors and two ohurohes, while a third church is in course of erection. Several members of tho famous Krum macher family of preachers have been pastors at that church. A remarkable trial has just ended at Bucharest, Hungary. Two boys, one six years and the other fourteen, were charged upon their own confession with attempting to drown a child two years old. Their defense was that the long drought had to be terminated, and that the crime for which thoy were on trial was the only suocessful method known to accomplish the end. An explanation of this curious defense is that the children of the villages in times of great drought are made to throw the clay figure of a child into the water. The boys threw in the child merely beoause they had no clay Sgure. The elder was sentenoed to two years' imprisonment and the younger returned to his mother for chastisement. In his speech in the United States Senate, at the acceptance of the Web ster statue, Senator Morrill, of Ver mont, spoke of the fashionable garb worn by "Black Dan" when he dined with him in Washington in 1852. "Mr. Webster," said the Senator, "appeared in his blue coat with gilt buttons, light buff vest, low shoes and white silk half-hose, and led tho con versation most happily, whether grave or gay." This was tho enstom of the great American statesman a lit tle more than forty years ago, a period whioh can be recalled by hun dreds of thousands of our living citi zens. What would be thought of any man, even a Webster, who should ap pear thus dressed in our time? Would he not be an object of ridicule? asks the San Francisco Argonaut. The clothes of the Amerioau people have been getting plainer and duller right straight along for over a hundred years. Look at the costumes of Washington, Adams and the other great men after peace hud been won through the ltevolutiou. Look at the rich and gay dress which was worn by men who could afford it when our own immediate sires trod the land. Then look at the black and white dress of fashion iu the banquet hall in this nupicturesi|ue and blustering age. It is lovely woman alone who dares to make a display of colors, frills, flowers, fringes, spangles, jewelry aud ornaments at this dismal tiiue. THE UNSEEN. When eyes aro bright with hope, tho sides aro blue, Tho seas aro inother-o'-poarl, tho world is fair; Sunshine falls sweot on drops of diamond dew, And fairies dwell in flower bells everywhere. When eyes aro dim with tears, the skies are Kray, Tho seas aro foaming floods, tho world is eoldj Sad mists creep down and shadow nil the way, And every face we meet s«ems strangely old. But when the eyes aro elosed to outward sights In Sleep's denr dreamland, glories meet their gaze; Visions of hopo-flllod noons and love-flllod nights, Of light aye radiant, made of rainbow rays. Then, when they look within, tho realms of thought Lie all outspread—what has been, what shall be; Mountain and plain into right foeus brought, "Tho Unseen," say you? Nay! what wo best soe' Tho inward sight is true, and elear and strong; Ago dims it not; no blindness comes with tears: For time is short, eternity is long. And souls aro made for neons, not for years. —Chambers's Journal. AN OLD picTIQNABY. BY HELEN FOIiIiEST GRAVES. ES, I know," s a i d Aunt Nabby, in a J j voico about as cheer- at! croak of a consumptive raven. "The family is all broke up, and every thing is scattered. And the furniture - was sold at auction. Such a thing never would havo happened if I'd been at home I" "I dare say not," said Mr. Well wood, tapping the feathery tip of his cigar against the Japanese ash-reoeiver, and thinking seoretly what a fortunate thing it was for the amicable settle ment of the Wellwood estate that Aunt Nabby—"Abigail Maria" her name was written in the family record—had not been at home. For she was a vertiable thorn in the side of her relations—this querulous, ill-tempered, domineoring old lady. "Not that I care for the old chairs, and tables, and bed-quilts," went on Aunt Nabby, knitting energetically away at the silk mitten which never seemed to grow any larger. "Samuel's wife was a dreadful poor housekeeper, and things was 'most used up, any how. But there's one thing I'm de termined to have 1" "What is that?" said Mr. Wellwood, more in compliment to Aunt Nabby's sudden stop than out of any active curiosity on the eubjeot. "The old dictionary," said Aunt Nabby. "What! that old thing?" said Mr. Wellwood. "Why, it's the edition of 1840, and all battered to pieces—one cover gone, and half tho loaves out!" "No matter," said Aunt Nabby, rescuing her ball of silk from the paws of the irreverent kitten; "I want it. And I mean to have it. And I want you to help me get hold ot it, Mat thew." "I don't think it will be possible for you to find it," said Mr. Wellgood, thoughtfully. "But I will find it!" said Aunt Nab by. "I must flud it." "Why?" point-blank demanded Mr. Wellwood. "Beoause," answered Aunt Nabby, "I want it for a family relio. I hain't got nothing to remind me of Samuel's wife. And that's what I've come on East for—to get hold of the old dic tionary. I'm goin' out to Pelt's Point to-morrow to see Squirt* Sadler—he was the lawyer that settled the estate, what there was of it to settle—and he'll maybe know what became of the old dictionary." "I don't regard that as especially likely," said Mr. Wellwood. "How should he know?" "There ain't no teilin' what's likely and what ain't," said Aunt Nabby, resolutely. And here the subject was allowed to drop. But when Aunt Nabby had gone up stairs to bed, with a pitoh plaster in one hand, for her back, and a tumbler of boiling hot water in the other for her digestion, and a box of nervine pills in oue pocket, and a bottle of corn curer in the other, Mrs. Wellwood—a shrewd, sallow-oomplex ioned little woman, who had all this time been daruing quietly away at a basket of stockings in the oorner— looked up at her husband with quick, intelligent eyes. "Matthew," said she, "what does this mean?" "I think," said Mr. Wellwood, "that Aunt Nabby has some sort of method in her madness this time. And it is not for any mere sentimental ussooiatiou that she wauts to get hold of the old dictionary." "I remember it well," said Mrs. Wellwood, thoughtfully. "A queer old book, with the edges bulging out, the title-page gone, half the cover torn oil, and a rouud blaek ring on the other half, where little Polly once set down a tin-cut of hot salvo. Do you suppose, Matthew-—" "Aunt Naliby know your Aunt Walkt-r, Samuel'.) wife, as she always culls her--butter than any one else," interrupted Mrs. Wellwood. "She was an eccentric old soul. We were all surprised, if you recollect, at there being no money saved up, none de posited anywhere, Depend upon it, if there was auy money to save—" LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 22. 1895. "It was in that old dictionary!" cried Mrs. Wellwood, dropping her darning needle. "And Aunt Nabby Knows it." Mr. Wellwood nodded Lis head, and smoked border than ever as he stared into the fire, as if seeking from the red embers counsel and advice. "Where is that dictionary," said he. "Goodness only knows!" despair ingly sighed Mrs. Wellwood. "Try and think!" eagerly urged her husband. "Perhaps Mrs. Grubb would know," said Mrs. Wellwood. "She packed nil tho things that wore left, and locked up tho house." "Write to her," said Mr. Wellwood, eagerly. "Oh. no—that would only be uselessly arousing suspicion ! Go there yourself, Sarah. Ask her to come hero and make a visit." "What! Mrs. Grubb!" "Yes, Mrs. Grubb." "But, Matthew, she is such a dread ful old bore!" pleaded Mrs. Well wood. "Never mind that," said Wellwood, impatiently, (liugiug his cigar stump into the red-hot coals. "Only think of tho fortune that may possibly re ward our efforts ! Sarah, wo must get hold of that dictionary." So Airs. Wellwood went to Mrs. Georgo Grubb, and courteously in uited that lady to make her a visit. Mrs. Grubb aoceptod promptly. Sho had always wanted to visit the city, and here at last was a golden op portunity. Sho brought her little nephew and her two tall girls with her. "I know you didn't specially invite 'em, Sarah Ann," said sho, "but tho dears will so enjoy tho museums and the park and the Brooklyn Bridge, and all that sort of thing; and they won't be no more trouble than three kittens. There never were such good children!" The three youngGrubbs were some thing worso than a pestilence. Mrs. Grubb wus nearly as bad. And, at the end of a week, Mrs. Wellwood felt herself fully qualified to enter a luna tic asylum. But on the last day, while George was smearing himself with bread and butter and honey in the kitchen, and the two Misses Grubb wero pounding desperately away on the piano, in imi tation of the hand-organ man outside, Mrs. Wellwood ventured to pnt the fateful question which had so long trembled on her lips. "The old ditohnery!" said Mrs. Grubb, who was not over particular regarding her pronunciation. "La, me 1 What would any one want o' that old trash?" "Well, nothing much," hesitated Mrs. Wellwood. "But Mr. Wellwood is rather a bibliopolo—" "A which?" said Mrs. Grubb, with one hand back of her ear. "A collector of old books," ex plained her hostess. "Humph 1" said Mrs. Grubb, scratching her head with a knitting needle. "If I was going to have books at all, I'd far and away rather havo new ones." "Tastes differ," said Mrs. Well wood, with a pang, as one of the piano chords snapped resoundingly alid Master Georgo's voice was heard be low in loud altercation with tho oook. "But where's the old dictionary?" "Lesbia Field has got it," said Mrs. Grubb. "Mrs. Walker's grandnieoe —don't you know?— Leopold Field's girl. She's a factory haud, up to Poke Hollow—a dreadful likely girl? Soon to be married to Zelce Hamersley." "Are you sure of it?" said Mrs. Wellwood. "About a widdin'? Oh, yes! Zeke's folks, they set a deal of store by Lesbia." "No, no," interrupted Mrs. Well wood—"about the dictionary." "Sartin sure," said Mrs. Grubb. "I see Lesbia piok it off the floor herself, when I was a-packin' the woolen blankets that Mrs. Seeder bought at auotion. Says she, 'I ain't goiu' to hev the ditohnery that Aunt Hanner thought suoh a deal of sold for old paper,' says Bhe. 'l'll keep it myself, jus' to put me in mind of Aunt Han ner and Uncle Samuel.' And she wrapped it in a bit of old calioo—l remember the very palm-loaf pattern on it—and took it away, under her arm. What is it, Georgie, darling? The hired girl won't give you no more honey? Never mind! Wrs. Well wood'll give you some damson pre serves, I know." As soon as Mrs. Qrubb departed—a period of time whioli Mrs. Wellwood began to fear would never arrive—she packed a little travsling satchel togo to "Poke Hollow" and see Lesbia Field, a relation with whom she had hitherto very little acquaintance. Lesbia was at home—a blooming lass, with cheeks as pink as rosos, and sparkling blaok eyes—and she was evidently much puzzled to account for this unexpected notice on the part of her city relation. But Mrs. Wellwood, \yliile making herself as agreeable as possible, kept her eyes vigilautly on the alert, and was rowarded at last. For there, on the top shelf of a lit tle, glass-fronted corner-cupboard, was the old dictionary itself, bulging leaves, missing cover, and all. "Oh, that darling oldrelio of antiq uity !'• oried she, nervously foeling of the twenty-dollnr bill in her pooket with which Mr. Wellwood had in trusted her the last thing. "Aunt Hannah's dictionary I Oh, Lesbia, I must have that 1" "Well, isn't it innny?" said Lesbia, liughing over the chicken she was stu til ug with bread-sauoe for dinner; for pretty Losbia was cook, chamber maid, waitress and all in that parti cular establishment. "I had a letter from Aunt Nabby Wellwood, yester day, about that dictionary. Hho wants it. She's coming to-day to see about it." "Jiut promise it tome," said Mr*. Wellwood, coaxingly. "Dear Cousin Lesbia, Mr. Wellwood is so anxious to obtain it for his collection of antique publications." "Oh, it isn't old enough to bo of value as antique!" said Lesbia, who was "honest enough." "But he has set his heart on it," pursued Mrs. Wellwood, growing more earnest, as she heard the rattle of wheels in tho distance, and beheld through the tiny-paned window a depot wagon, bringing to the soeno no other than Aunt Nabby herself. "Do let me have it, Lesbia!" And she placed the twenty-dollar bill, coaxingly, in Losbia's hand. "But I shall bo cheating you," said Lesbia, looking at the bill in amaze ment. "Do let me see Aunt Nabby about it first!" "No. no!" said Mrs. Wellwood, as Aunt Nabby's voice was heard with out, in high dispntation with the driver as to whether a coin she had given him in payment was genuine or not. "Give it to mo now ! Aud here is my sealskin cape; you wero just ad miriug it. I'll make you a present of it, Lesbia—a wedding gift, dear." "You aro very kind," said Lesbia, with a radiant face. "And if you really care for the dictionary—" And so it came to pass that the dic tionary was safe in Mrs. Matthew Wellwood's possession, when Auut Nabby bustled in, full of the iniqui ties of drivers, the inconvenienco of traveling, and the threatening twinges of her annual rheumntism. "What!" sho cried, as her eye caught sight of tho fat volume in her niece's lap, "you've got the diction ary, after all 1 But of oonrse you'll let mo havo it, Sarah Ann?" "Certaiuly I shall not!" said Mrs. Wellwood, exultantly. "Mr. Well wood has 6ot his heart on possessing it." "And I've jnst sold it to her," add ed Lesbia, as sho assisted Aunt Nabby to untie her bonuot striugs. The old lady heaved a deep sigh. "Wal, it don't matter so much," said she. "The main thing was to find the dictionary. And if you'll just let mo copy out the recipe for mak ing waflles, Sarah Ann, that's pinned on the page W- first of the W's, you'll see—it'll be jest as good as if I had it myself." "The recipo for waffles 1" cried Mrs. Wellwood. "Was that all you wanted of it?" "That was all," said Aunt Nabby, briskly. "Samuel's wife, she was a dreadful good hand at waffles, and she never would givo nobody the reoipe. But I knew where she kept it, aud I was always tryiu' to got at it. And if you'll just let me copy it out—" Mrs. Wellwood grow pale. Tho coiling of the little, old-fashioned room seemed to swim around her. Was this the end of tho dictionary mystery? Had sho entertained tho Grubb family for ten mortal days, had hor piano broken, her china cracked, her nerves shattered for this? Had she paid twenty dollars, a seal skin cape and her traveling expenses to Poke Hollow all for a reoipe for waffles? The buzz of conversation went on all the same, and Mrs. Wellwood re covered at her leisure. She returned to New York that ofternoon, carrying the old diotionary, although Lesbia endeavored to induce her to remain, by tho promise of waffles for tea, made after Aunt Hannah's famous reoipe. And when Mr. Wellwood discovered that there were no thousand-dollar bonds, nor hundred-dollar bank-notes hidden in tho dictionary—nothing but definitions, ink-blots, and one or two cooking-recipes pinned to the pages, he indulged in execration more deep than loud. "It's all that meddling old cat's fault!" said he, referring, doubtless, to Aunt Nabby. "And I'll never havo her in tho house again!" And he never did. But all that didn't restore the twenty-dollar bill and the sealskin cap. And innooent Lesbia was tho only ono who reaped benefit from th > transaction.—Satur day Night. The Rat's Nest Exploded. Rats are the cause of a great doal of annoyance to those who live in tho mountains, and many stories could be told of their deviltry. The latest comes to us by letter from Red Lodge. John Andrews, of Dilworth, accom panied by a cowboy, on their way to the mines of the Clark's Forks, stopped at a cabin owned and former ly used by Shelby Eli Dillard, tho journalistic miner. In the fireplace was a mountain rat's nest. Fire was applied to this, and in a moment a terrific explosion took place. Both men were knoked down, and when as sistance came soon after from a man following them they were unable to move. Surgical and medical assistance was immediately procured, and it is believed that both will recover. It seems that the rats had prooured from some source or other a number of ex plosive caps, suoh as are used by min ers, and deposited them iu the nest as they are wont to do with everything bright.—Bozemau (Montana) Chron icle. gnfflclent Proof. Relieff, a'.Russian man of letters, had been implioated in the oonspiraoy of 1825 and sentenoed to be banged. He was launched from the fatal ladder, when the rope broke and he was thrown to the ground, severely bruised, but conscious. He picked himself up and said, quietly, "They can do nothing in Russia, not even twine a cord properly." It was ous tomarj in Russia to pardon the con demned after a similar fiasoo, but on ReltafTs words being reported to the late Czar Nicholas and his pleasure demanded, be rejoined, "Prove to him that he is wrong." And Ihey did.-- 1 Detrot Free Pre* MMOCRATIC DISTRESS. TICK T.RHiT OIttJ.VXS OK NKW YORK OiiY OVKIt I IIK KUI.V TIIKY lIAVK WltUUGIir. The Advent to Power of the Party Which Thoy Supported Has Re sulted In Klii.iiielal Disaster— Trying to Shltt. the Responsibil ity—There Is I'iit One Remedy. The New York Times, referring to tho outflow of gold from tho United States, asks tho following very perti nent questions: "Why did it go? It did not go for nothing. It did not goto pay for purchases of goods. It did not go in so great a degree as iu the past to pay interest on borrowed capital. It went to pay for American securities which foreign holders were not inclined to keep—were, in plaiu English, afraid to keep. Why were thoy afraid?" Assuming for a moment that the New York Times is correct in saying that our gold has gouo "to pay for American securities which foreign holders are not inclined to keep, were, in plain English, afraid to keep," lot us answer the question "Why wero they afraid?" English capital was not afraid of American securities in 1892. There was nothing tho matter with Ameri can affairs during the two previous years, or while tho McKinley tariff was in effect without any certain knowledge that it would bo over thrown, so "why wero they afraid?" The weokening of tho valuo of American securities became notice able toward tho end of 1892, and immediately after the elec tion to Congress of a majority of tho party that is pledggd to free trade, the election of whom, by the way, was somewhat assisted by the New York Times itself. Early in tho following year, in 1893, tho depreciation iu tho value of American securities became still more marked. The system of currency was the same then as it is now and as it has remained for many years past. There was no hesitation as to the'value of Americuu securities between 1890 and 1892 when our currenoy was of the same stability as it is to-day. Dur ing these yenrs neither tho New York Times nor any other freo trade news paper eould have thought of saying with any degTeo of truth, as it docs now, that "disaster and bankruptcy are possible at nny moment." The New York Times kuows just as well as tho New York Herald knows that the value of American securities he J only been depressed by foreign holders sinco the advent to power of that political party which was eleoted by the New York Times, the New York Herald and their ilk. Tho New York Times knows just as well as the New York Herald knows that tho deprecia tion in the vilues of tho securities has nothing whatever to do with our our ronoy, but that it is due to the faot that thisAmerioan "country is cursed" with such unpatriotic sheets as the New York Times and the New York Herald, which are forever advocating a policy that will render "disaster and bankruptcy possible at any moment." But now having brought this "dis aster and bankruptcy" right to our very doors, or to their very doors, perhaps, like the contemptible oowards that they are, they are afraid of the result, and are squirming around seeking for some other reason than the true one and seeking to shift the responsibility onto other shoulders than those to whioh it rightfully be longs, which aro the shoulders of those editors with which this "country is cursed" by their contemptible ad vocacy of the polioy that cheapens wages, ruins the people and makes "disaster and bankruptcy possible at any moment. Following the lead of its two broth ers in sin, the New York Evening Post said: "The fact is not to be discussed that the financial situation is serious and that the feeling of distrust iu Amerioau finances is growing both at home and abroad." The World also fell into line, say ing : "The oondition of the Treasury is again growing serious. • * * It is not strange that the President is in a quandary. With chaos in Congress and helplessness in the Administration the outlook is not agreeable." As far as New York is concerned, we have now seen the four leading free trade papers, every one of which worked its hardest for the election of a free trade Congress and a free trade President, acknowledging that their ad ministration has brought the country into a condition of bankruptoy bor dering upon ruin. It must be pleasing for the Post to say that the present Congress "sits supine and imbecile from day today," when its editor re members how hard he fought to se cure that supineness and imbecility. It must be gratifying to the World to have to acknowledge that there is "chaos in Congress and helplessness in the Administration," which it fought to elect by the publication of an unin terrupted tissue of deliberate lies. Each one of the four Democratic papers—the New York Herald, the New York Times, the Evening Post und the New York World—has to ac knowledge the utter failure,and in competency of the loaders of its party to administer the National affairs of the United States without bringing the country to tho verge of bank ruptcy. If we felt assured that the lesson thus learned would be of benefit to the fools who edit those papers we would bo content, but this will not be the ease. They have seen things go from bad to worso duriug the last two years under the Admi list ration which they wanted. They have suggested one remedy after another, and they know most positively that the fault is Terms---81.00 in Advance ; 81.25 after Three Months. in tho utter incompetency of their leaders and of their party now, as it has been in the past, to enact any legislation that will benefit our Amer ican continent. There is but one remedy—the uttor and complete overthrow of the party which these papers represent and the restoration to power of the party that has, and ever has had, tho welfare ol Americans r.nd tho prosperity of American interests as the fundamen tal principle of its political policy. If the editors of these four papers would openly acknowledge their error by working for the complete annihila tion of the party in which they for merly professed to havo confidence we would respect them. Will they do it? Or v-iil they later revert to their old policy of clamoring for destruction by continuing to write lies aud to publish lies for the benefit of the foreign countries which may, or may not, be buying up the editorial columns of their papers, or which tuay, perhaps, liiivo some pecuniary interest in their management whioh prevents any advocacy of the re-en actment of the McKinloy tariff, which would mean tho immediate restoration to their proper value of all American securities. It Makes Jolinnio Smile, Ituild American Ships. Not leas than four and a half billion dollars, or an annual average of $160,- 000,000 a year during thirty years past, has been paid out to foreign ships for ocean transportation. Is it any wonder that we are called npon to export gold to Europe? We can stop doing this by building up the Amerioan mercantile marine, by car rying our own freight and paying our own gold to our own ship-owners. Fanners Feel the Benefit. In 1880 tho freight on a barrel of flour from St. Louis to New York, by rail, was eighty-four cents. In 1893 it was only fifty-seven oents-'-a reduc tion of twenty-seven cents per barrel within thirteen years, as the result of protection to our coal, iron and steel in lustries. A Dead Cat. No Free Ships. What ails the Free Ships bill? con tinually asks the New York Herald. Nothing ails it; it has simply been consigned where it belongs—into the Congressional waste basket. Dump the Trash. Australian >Vooi Active. The latest advioes from the Austral ian wool market, December 11, 1804, show that during the previous four weeks "a very large business has been transacted." We are told that "the competition, with one or two trivial exceptions." was keen, especially for the good wools. There was au im proved feeling "IU the best merino growths," which are now reoeiving more attention, and "a stronger and more consistent demand" has been ex perienced for them. These are the growth of wool of whioh it is reported that "the American buyers have pur chased largely." Protection in Louisiana. The State of Louisiana exempts from taxation the property and capi tal employed in manufacturing within its borders. This is neither more nor less than a direct bounty for the pro motion of American industries, and wo should like to have explained the difference between that method and a sugar bounty. NO. 24. RAIN AND SHINE". Can't havo sunshine all tho time— Got to com" a rain; The dry land—it Kits* thirsty, An' the mountain an' tho plain, They cry out fer a drop to drink, An' ail tht> wiltin' flowers Is glad to sen tho rain fall free. An' freshen with tho showers. Can't have sunshine all tho time: Glad for rain to fall: Fills tho wells an' makes the dells Look fresh an' sparklin'—all. The raindrop makes the roses grow, An' if the rivers rise, They water all tho land, an' go Jest singln' 'neatli the skies! Can't have sunshino all the time: I like a rainy- day; Per that's the time fer readin' liooka Or makin' Addles play. To home, or to the grocery store, I'm happy when it rains; For they need it on the mountains, An' it's welcome on the plains! —Atlanta Constitution HUMOR OK THE DAY. Hot ami heavy—A cannon ball.— Boston Courier. Sooner or later prido is sure to step on dynamite.—Rain's Horn. The mistakes of the past are tho signboards of the future.—Puck. "Our engagement is quite a secret, you know." "So everybody tolls me." —Pall Mall Budget. Content is the feeling we experience tho first week after our salary has boon increased.—Puck. Nobody can help noticing the short comings of the man who is always be hind time.—Dallas News. Japan has found iu China what might be termod a hasty pudding.— New York Mail and Express. My friend's conceit usually consists in his inability to recognize the high er order of intelligence.—Puck. Misfortune seldom gathers friends ; and when it does they all stand around ami say, "I told you so!" Puck. Do not keep a good movement on hand whon it should be put on foot without delay.—Galvostou Hews. Would you keep a woman's lovo When you earn It. Here's a way I'll tell you of— Don't return it! —Judge. Scientists believo it impossible for a man to have a double. If this is so how can a man bo beside himself?— Life. A girl is a good deal like a problem in mathematics—You don't always un derstand her when you get her.— Puck. He who wrote, "All the world loves a lover," Failed to note an exception sail; 'Tls that the lover is but seldom loved By his dear loved one's dad. —Buffalo Courier. New Boarder —"What's tho row up stairs?" Landlady—"lt's the profes sor of hypnotism trying to get his wife's permission togo out this even ing."—Tit-Bits. A barber is the easiest person in tho world at meeting people. Go into his shop almost any time and you will find him scraping an acquaintance.— Rockland (Me.) Tribune. Benevolent Old Man—"Here's a quarter. So you were sent to Yale when quite young?" ltagson Tatters "Did I say dat? I meant jail; I can't pronounce do 'j' "—Philadel phia Reoord. Old Mr. Goodfello—"Little boy, can you tell me tho way to tho ferry?" Gomin—"Yassir; jus' follow tho street along where you hoar tho team sters usin' tho wust langwidgo."— Harper's Bazar. There were 190 lynchings in this oountry last year, but they didn't got around to the man who beats timo to the music by tapping on the rounds of your chair with his foot.—Rock land (Me.) Tribune. First Footballer "Did Halfbaok go around and wallop that editor who wrote Tabout 'Tho Brutality of Foot ball?'" Second Footballer—"No." "Why not?" "Halfback is in tha hospital."—Good News. Bobby—"Our dog's name is Cicero, but sinoe my brother has been to col lego he calls it Kickero." Johnny— "l s'pose that's the way thoy pro nounce it at college. They're all crazy on football."—Good News. "Yes, young ladies," said the pro fessor, "Pallas Athene, the Grecian goddess of wisdom, was unmarried." \nd from that day tho goose won dered why those girls wouldn't study. It was a bad break.—New York Re ' oorder. A German scientist says that 3000 rears hence there will be one man to ■;very 220 women. This is a less »oomy outlook than if there were to oe 220 women after every man—a condition that already exists at the cummer resortu.—Norristown Herald. As the train drew up at a oountry station on the Southeastern Railway a pleasant-looking gentleman stepped out on the platform and inhaling the fresh air, enthusiastically observed to the guard: "Isn't this invigorat ing?" "No, sir; it's 'Caterham," re plied the guard.—Wonder. Aged Tortoises. Tortoises live to a great age. In the library at Lambeth Palaco thero is the shell of one of these animals which was brought to that palace in the year 1633 by Archbishop Laud, and lived till the year 1753 when it waa killed by the cold wtather, a laborer in the garden having dug it up from its win ter retreat and neglected to repiaoe it. Another waa plaoed in the Bishop of London's garden atFulhamin 1628. This died a natural death in 1754. The ages of the tortoises when first placed in these gardens were not known.— New York Observer.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers