SULLIVAN JMK REPUBLICAN.
W. H, CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. XIII.
Germany has J>2,375,000,000 in
vested in foreign countries.
A North Georgia farmer proposes to
make a fence around his land with cot
ton bales.
French physicians assert that men
whose only meat is horseflesh are in
better health than those who have
more variety.
Porto Rico if to have a gold stand
ard of currency, announces the New
York Independent, the Mexican dollar
to be retained as a basis of weight for
the value of silver.
Tho Minnesota Supromo Court has
decided that bicyclists have the same
rights as horsemen on the streets.
"Now, let us liavo a decision giving
pedestrians some rights," sugg< ';s the
Atlanta Constitution.
The Crown Priuco of Germrny is a
very precocious boy, according to the
Chicago Herald. When the court
chaplain told him all people wore sin
ners he said : "Father may be, but I
know mother is not."
Professor Rudolph Virchow told the
convention of anthropologists at In
nesbruck the other day that tho Dar
winian theory of tho origin of species,
commonly known as "evolution," was
unproven, unscientific, and evidently
false.
Vermont is restocking its forests
nnd streams by good game laws
strictly enforced, and tho people find
that land is worth more oil over tho
State than it was beforo this policy
was adopted. It is nlso noticed that
more sportsmen visit the State than
formerly.
In one of the New York apartment
houses there are 226 pianos—one to
every four persons, besides a whole
orchestra of piccolos, violins, guitars,
cornets and an old-fashioned melo
deon. Those who live across the way
say that it is the noisest house in
America.
Andrew Lang, tho English essayist,
says that the idle, the imitative and
the needy had better adopt some other
calling than literature, nnd advise all
not to try to write a novel, unless a
plot, or a set of characters, takes such
irresistiblo possession of the mind
that it must be written.
Tho St. James Gazette (English) as
sets that tho "railway station speech,'
or, as it is called in this country, "tho
rear platform speech," was invented by
Mr. Glodstone. The New Orleans
Picayune believes this will be news tc
Americans, who are pretty generally
persuaded that it is a peculiarly
American institution. Tho Gazette
declares it a nuisance.
Says tho New York Ledger l
"Wherever Americans plant stakes, we
hear of political agitation. The
speeches at the great mass meeting oJ
Alaskans at Juneau had tho trut
American ring. There may have beer
other political mass meetings ii
Alaska, but the news of them has nol
reached us. The Juneau meeting wai
the first important political demon
stration in that part of our domain,
the northern shores of which are
laved by tho waters of tho Aretio
Ocean."
There are in successful operation in
the South a number of cotton factories
constructed with money raised on the
installment plan, the payments being
made as in a building and loan associa
tion. Among the mills established
under this co-operative scheme and
now in full operation, the New York
Ledger mentions the following: Th«
Ada Cotton Mill, with a subscribed
capital of $128,000, producing chair
warps and skein yarns; tho Alplie
Cotton Mills, with a capital of SIOO,
000; tho Highland Park Ginghaa
Mills, with a subscribed capital oi
$150,000, nnd the Goffney Cottoi
Mills, capital subscribed, $150,0001
product, print cloth.
In view of the great number of post
office burglaries and highway mai'
robberies recently, tho Postmaster
General has deemod it proper to offei
rewards for the conviction of persons
concerned in such transactions, which
embrace SIOOO for conviction of rob
bing the mails whilo being conveyed
in mail car on a railway; SSOO foi
conviction of robbing the mails whih
being conveyed over any post route
other than a railway; $250 for ar
attempt at such robberies; $l5O foi
brooking into and robbing a post
office, and S2OO in tho latter case,
where the amount stolen excoeds SSOO.
The Trenton Truo American thinki
those rewards ought to stimulate th«
work of detecting and pursuing post
offico robbers.
A westward ocean trip, between Eu
rope and New York, is usually seven
per cent, longer than an eastward one<
In the City of Mexico every well
educated person speaks at least three
languages. The Mexioans have a craze
for mastering languages.
In Mexico the custom is common of
excepting new manufacturing enter
prises from all save general taxation
for ten to twenty years.
The Argentine earthquake oocurred
the night before one of tho "critioal
days" in the list of Professor Falb, the
Austrian earthquake prophet.
London pays forty-two per cent, of
the inconio tax of England and Wales,
and its government and management
cost about $55,000,000 a year.
More than two hundred French
cities have resolved to erect statues in
honor of tho late President Cnrnot,
and it is expected that soon almost
eve'y French town will have a Carnot
street or square.
There can bo no doubt, maintains
tho Chicago Herald, that the talk of
grape seeds and appendicitis has af
fected the price of grapes unfavorably,
in spite of the fact that the grape cure
a few years ago was in high vogue.
Ornithologists do not tell us that
the chicken is the most wonderful of
birds, yet the fast remains, avers the
Chicago Herald, that in proportion to
weight, it is far more important to the
human race than any other animal.
The refrigerating systems for the
transportation of fresh meats, fruits,
etc., are coming more and more ex
tensively into use. The New York
World thinks it is too early to pre
dict tho future in store for this scheme,
which is still in its infancy.
Judge Child, of Newark, N. J., set
aside a verdict which awarded a man
S4OOO for the killing of his son by a
street car. He snid that the amount
was preposterous and that if the plain
tiff would aocept SISOO he would dis
miss the case. The father refused.
The greatest obstacle to the growth
of the lemon industry of this country
is the fact that the fruit is not prop
erly cured, and will not keep like the
foreign article. The lemons them
selves are equally good, but the
curing process has }-et to be learned.
It has been estimated that of the
$1,500,000,000 of property held in
New York $300,000,000 is in the
hands of women, but this is certainly
woll within the real facts (since the
women of Boston pay taxes on $120,-
000,000). Even so, however, this
would make, at the present rate of es
timate, over $600,000,000 of property
owned in New York State by women,
adds the Dispatch.
About twenty years ago German)
adopted the system of compulsory in
surance of workingmen against ac
cidents. Since that time, declares the
Hartford Courant, there has been paid
into tho reserve fund about $88,000,*
000, of which about $20,000,000 now
forms the capital. In the year last
reported more than $7,500,000 was
paid in indemnities, and more than
$3,000,000 was added to the reserve
fund. It is now proposed to extend
the system to apprentices and em
ployes whose wages do not exoeed
$476 a year.
The annual report of Dr. W. T.
Harris, Commissioner of Eduoation,
says that twenty-three per oent. of the
population attend school during some
period of the year. The average
period of attendance during the year,
howover, is only eighty-nine days for
each pupil. Tho report says:"lt
would seem to be the purpose of our
system to give in the elementary
schools to every child the ability to
read. When ho leaves school he is
expected to continuo his education by
reading the printed pages of news
papers and books. The great increase
of publio libraries in the United States
is significant of progress towards
tho realization of this idea. In 1892
we had over 4000 publio libraries,
with more than 1000 books in caoh.
The schools teach how to read; the
libraries furnish what to read. But
far surpassing the libraries in edUoa
tive influence are tho daily newspapers
and magazines. Wo are governed by
public opinion as ascertained and ex
pressed by the nowspapors to such a
degree that our civilization is justly
to be called a newspaper civilization-
The library and the newspopors aro
our chief instrumentalities for the
continuation of school and tho univer
sity. Lecture oonrses, scientific and
literary associations are assisting
1 largely.
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1894.
AT CHRISTMAS TIDE".
Bo blithe this hour, when once a.sdn
The Star glows steadfast In thfc sky;
So hope attuned, when human pain
Grows less, for faith that help Is nigh;
So hallowed, when the angel train
With song and harp nre passing by.
Once more, between the midnight's gloom
And the-pale rose of breaking dawn,
Heaven's matchless lilies wake and bloom,
And far athwart the east nre drawn
The pencilled sunbeams which illumo
All pathways men must journey on.
Again the Sages and the Soers
Bend low before a little child ;
And o'er the long anl stormfnl years,
The desert spaces vast and wild,
The strife, the turmoil, undthe tears,
Ho looks, and smiles, the undefllod.
'TIs Christmas tide! At Mary's kneo
The shepherds an I the princes meet!
Love-bound In dear humility,
To clasp the Infant Saviour's foot.
The Ptr.r is bright o'ro land and sea ;
The Gloria song is full and sweet.
—Margaret E. Songster, in Ilurpcr's Eazar.
HEYSEB'S CHRISTMAS.
BY FLOBKNOE B. HALLO WELL.
fT was 7 o'clock on
Christinas Eve,
nnd the streets of
tlio busy factory
town of L— were
crowded with
eager, oxci te d
variety store was
like a great bee
clerks were kopt
busy wrapping up
dolls, trumpets,
drums, toy pistols
and other toys
dear to tlio heart
of childhood;
while tlio buyers
jostled and crowd
ed each other
good - naturedly,
too thoroughly imbued with the ponce
and good will of the season to mind a
dig in the ribs or a bruised toe.
"How happy everybody is!" ex
claimed a bright-faced, middle-aged
woinau, pausing a moment on her way
past the store to look in. Then she
drew her old plaid shawl closer around
her and hurried on, the sawdust-lilled
limbs of a big doll dangling from n
cumbersome parcel on her left arm.
If she had paused » moment longer
sho might have caught the derisive,
contemptuous sneer 011 the face of a
young man who lounged in the open
doorway, his hands tthrus* into his
pockets and his soft hat pulled down
over his scowling brow. His eyes fol
lowed the woman in the plaid shawl
until she disappeared in the orowd,
and a short, hard laugh escaped his
lips.
"Everybody happy!" ho muttered,
"What fool remarks gome women do
make!"
A little girl passing beforo him just
then dropped a bundle ; but he didn't
stoop to pick it up for her. He wasn't
in the humor to do a kindness for any
one. All this Christmas excitemeut
and hurry had filled his heart with
anger and bitterness. In his pocket
were his week's wages—twelve bright
silver dollars ; but he didn't expect to
spend a cent. There was no one to
whom ho felt inclined to carry even a
dime's worth of candy, no ono who
expected anything from him.
Ho remembered Christmas Evo of
last year. Ho and Nan had gone shop
ping together. They had bought a
woolen cape for old Mrs. Bosley, with
whom Nan had lived previous to her
marriage, and a trumpet for a little
orphan boy Mrs. Bosley was "rais
ing," and stockings and flannel for tho
Widow Wisk and her imbecile daugh
ter. They had also laid in a stock of
good things for their Christmas din
ner, to which old Mrs. Bosley and
Sammy had been invited, and had de
liberated a long time whether to have
plum pudding cr fruit for dessert.
Nan hadn't been sure the plum pud
ding would prove a success, for she
had so little experience in cooking,
and so, they had bonght fruit.
What fun it had been to buy their
presents for each other! Nan had
made him promise not to look while
she made a hasty tour to the counter
on which were men's furnishings,- and
where she had bought a crimson
inn flier and two bordered handker
chiefs.
Then they had stopped at a jewelry
store, and Nan had waited outside
while he went in and made a mys
terious purchase, which she found
under her plate at breakfast the next
morning, and which proved to bo a
plain gold ring.
Heyser remembered how she had
kissed him and told him it was just
what she had wanted, for sho had al
ways regrotted not having been
married with a ring.
The wind caught one end of the red
mnfller around his nock and whipped
it against his cheek, and Heyser flung
away from the store door with an
angry growl, the scowl on his fuce
growing darker. He turnod from the
busy main street into one that was
comparatively quiet, and in a few
minutes was at the door of tho great,
barn-like tenement house in which he
had lived ever since he and Nan had
quarreled and parted.
That was nearly nine months ago,
and he had never seen Nan sinoe—had
never heard a word from her nor sent
her a message of any kind. They had
parted in hot anger; he had told
her she was a wretched oook, and he'd
warrant she could spoil anything she
turned her hand to; and when she had
replied that she wished she had never
married him, he had rejoined that she
didn't wish it half as much as he did,
and that he eould have had Sarah
Humes for the asking. Nan had al
ways been a little jealous of Sarah,
and thh remark bad fanned her anger
to white heat. Recriminations And
reproaches followed, and the quarrel
had ended in his leaving the little
house which he had bought on their
marriage, vowing never to enter it
again until Nan apologized.
The next day he had sent a mes
senger for his clothes, half hoping the
apology would come instead. But it
hadn't. He had felt angry at himself
for searohing ail the pockets for a
note, only to be disappointed; and ho
had sworn to make Nan sick of her
"blasted pride."
He had left his place in Hinokle's
store in Bridge City, where he had
been employed since boyhood, and
had gone to L—, to take a place iu
the iron works. And not a word had
ever come from Nan.
A bitter loneliness filled his heart
as he entered his cheerless room with
its carpetless floor and curtainless
window. Tho fire in the rusty little
stove had gone out, and the oheap
kerosene lamp on the wooden mantel
gave only a sickly light.
Heyser shivered and flung out of
the room, muttering something be
tween his teeth. It was too early to
goto bod, and ho had lived so entire
ly to himself during the past year
that ho had no friends in the tenement
house upon whom he could drop in
for an hour's talk. What was ho to
do with himself? Walk up and down
Main street, he supposed,and seo peo
ple stare at him because he had no
bundles.
As ho went downstairs ho heard tho
Payne children laughing, and through
a door that stood a little ajor saw them
hanging up their stockings.
Heyser's heart swelled with self
pity, and ho tugged at the muffler
about his throat as if it were choking
him as ho went stamping down the
bare, dark stairway. In all this
"CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR."
Christmas festivity ho had no share.
There was no one to givo a thought to
him, no one of whom ho mutt think.
And it was all Nan's fault. She had
ruined his life. How could ho help
hating her? Why hail she never sent
that apology? Evidently sho had
never repented her share of their
quarrel.
Reaching Main street again Heyser
hesitated, gave u quick glance around
bim to see if any one were looking
who might suspect his purpose, and
then turned abruptly down a street i
that led directly to the river. He
walked rapidly, with his head down,
the collar of his coat high above his
ears, and his slouch hat pulled down
over his scowling brow.
It wouldn't do any harm togo and
givo a look at his old home—that
pretty brown cottage in which he and
Nan had lived for four short months.
Ho had nothing else to do —and he
needed the exercise.
The wind blew stiftly as he crossed
the bridge. On the other side a wo
man was crossing in the opposite di
rection. She had a shawl about her
shoulders and wore a white hood. Hey
ser remembered that Nan had worn a
white hood on Christmas Evo just a
year ago. The keen air had made her
cheeks rosy, and given a sparkle to
her black eyes. People had turned to
look at her on the street, and he had
felt proud of his pretty wife. Ho had
not dreamed then that in less than
three months from that time be and
Nan would have gone separate ways.
It was only a short walk from the
bridge to the heart of Bridge City,
and the little brown oottage Heyser
had bought stood on one of the steep,
ungraded streets. He felt a chill sense
of disappointment when he reached it
and saw that it was dark and all the
blinds were olosed.
He stood at the little gato and stared
at the cottage for a long, long timo.
Nan bad deserted it, of course, audit
had stood empty all these months. He
ought to have known sho wouldn't
stay there alone, and yet—somehow
he had always thought of her as keep
ing a home there, waiting for him to
come back.
He was stiff and chilled when at last
he turned from the gate and wont
slowly up tho hill, with a vague idea
of walking through tho village beforo
returning to L—. Not that he ex
pected to meet Nan —that was most un
likely. In all probability she had left
Bridge City and was following her
trade of dressmaking in some larger
place.
As he reaohod the top of the hill he
saw a sudden tongue of flame shoot up
from the roof of an old house which
stood back from the street at some dis
tance from any other. It was the
home of old Mrs. Wisk and her weak
minded daughter, and Heyser sprang
forward as if electrified, wondering if
any one were inside.
As ho approached tho~*"gate he saw
the imbecile girl ran out from the
front door, and at the same moment
the flames burst from half a dozon
places in the roof.
"Isauy one in there?" shouted Hey
ser, seizing the girl by the shoulder.
She only whimpered and smiled in
reply, and Heyser released her, and
with one bnund wns at the door and
had dashed it open.
Before tho wido, open hearth was a
wickerwork carriage, and in it, staring
up with bright black eyes, lay a baby
perhaps two months of ago. Heyser
seized it in a rough but careful grasp
and rushed out—just in time, for tho
old roof fell with a crash behind him,
sending tho sparks flying over him
and his precious charge.
Tho yard was full of people now
who had come running from every
direction, and as Heyser staggered
forward with his burden he heard a
loud, piercing cry, and a young wo
man in a big shawl ond a white hood
sprang through tho gateway and tore
the baby from his arms. She was
weak and almost breathless from
fright and her run up tho hill.
Heyser looked down at her, passing
his bauds over his eyes as if to clear
away a mist.
"Nan!" he cried.
"Jerry!" and around lys ncok went
ouo round arm, whilo the other held
tho baby oloso to her heart.
"Let's get away from here, Nan,"
said Heyser, thickly ; and ho led her
through tho gateway ond down tho
hill, paying no attention to old Mrs.
Wisk who ran after them, cryin ; and
wringing her hands and saying sho
had gone out only for a minute to
borrow a little molasses, and if the
baby had been burned sho never would
have forgiven herself—never!
Heyser's brain seemed strangely
confused; but just at the base of the
hill he stopped.
"What did she mean, Nan?" he
asked; "and—what's this?" he asked,
touching the baby.
"Didn't you know?" she cried.
"Oh, Jerry) I thought some one
would surely tell you."
Heyser shook his hoad.. He couldn't
answer her just then.
Nan stopped at tho gato of the lit
tle brown cottage and drew the key
of the door from her pocket; but
just as she put it iuto the lock Heyser
throw both arms arms around her and
strained both mother and child to
his breast.
"Oh, Nan, 1 havo missed you so!"
he whispered, huskily. "And to
think you've been living here all this
time!"
"I knew you'd come back, Jerry,"
she said, and then she drew him into
the warm sitting room, stirred the
fire, put the baby in its cradle, and
then seating herself beside him on
tho old sofa gave him the history of
tho months she had spent apart from
him.
"I loft baby with Mrs. Wisk while
I went to L— to leavo a note for
you," she said, as she nostled against
him, her arms about liis nook, and
her rosy obeek against his rough and
bearded one. "I oonldn't let Christ
mas go by and not—Jerry, we must
never, never quarrel again."
"Never!" rejoined Heyser, ferv
ently. ' 'And now I'm going baok to
L—. I've got to buy you and the
baby something for to-inorrow, I can
keep Christmas now as well as other
people. '"
And any one seeing him coming
across the bridge on his way home,
two hours later, would almost havo
imagined him Santa Claus himself, BO
loaded down was he with bundles of
every shape and size.
Impatient as he had been to return
Terms--SI.OO in Advance ; 51.25 after Three Months,
to Nan and the baby—which as yet ho
hardly realized as his own—he had
taken time togo to his lodging house
for Nan's note, and he read tho words
it contained with eyes suspiciously
dim.
How gayly his heart beat as ho
tramped across the bridge! How happy
he felt! Christmas was a glorious
time! He didn't wonder people en
joyed it!
And this time when he reached the
cottage it was all aglow with light and
warmth, and Nan met him at the door
and exclaimed over the number of his
bundles, and laughed because ho had
bought tho baby a drum and a toy
engine.
"But we can savo them for him,"
she added; "and just come out into
the kitohen, Jerry."
Jerry followed her, wondering what
he was to see, and gave a little gasp of
surprise when he found a nice supper
spread upon the table and a delicious
aroma from a coffee pot filling the
room.
"I've learnod to cook, Jerry. Mrs.
Bosley says I can't bo beaten at it,"
sail Nan, laughing, though her eyes
were full of tears.
Jerry's lips quivered, and ho swal
lowed a lump in his throat. Then ho
put his arms around his little wife and
drew her close to his happy heart.
"This is a Christmas, sure enough,
Nan," he whispered, huskily.—lnde
pendent.
Christmas in E?ypt.
The following Christmas experionct
in Egypt is related by a writer in
Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly. Ho
was at the house of a Greek who was
apparently not a Croesus, as the entire
j furniture of his cafe consisted of a
, stone-and-mud fireplace in one corner,
a palm-brancli divan occupying the
remainder of that side of the banquet
ting hall, and a lot of rush mats on
the earthen floor. I took the place of
honor on the divan, says the writer,
and soon the Arabs commenced drop
ping in and squatting on the floor.
Our Copt had made so much noise that
he had awakened the whole village.
It was Christmas Eve, or, rather,
morning, and I felt liberal, so I or
dered ooffee and mostio for the party,
and kept the landlord basy until I had
filled the whole lot—a feat never be
fore accomplished in Tel-el-Baroud.
I began to feel hungry, and the land
lord fished out from under the divan,
which also served as a chicken-coop,
three sqnabs, which he killed, plucked,
broiled and served up on Arab bread.
This bread is baked of unbolted flour
in round cakes, seven inches in diame
ter. It is hollow like a doughnut,and
of about tho consistency of heavy
blotting paper.
After breakfast everybody went on
a hunting expedition. After their re
turn they all went for their bath, a
change of clothes, then to dinner—
and such a dinner !
Tho bill of f*ro could scarcely be
equalled ut that season of tho year in
this country ; the little oysters from
Alexandria Harbor (they wero first
planted there by McKillop Pasha, who
was admiral of tho Egyptian fleet un
der Ismail Pasha), eoup, fish from the
Mediterranean, turkey, ham, ducks,
snipe, fresh vegetables of every de
scription, figs, grapes, oranges, ba
nanas and the flaming English plum
pudding.
As Ususi.
"Did any one remember yon on
Christmas Day?" inqnired Jho iep.
"Oh, yes," responded Smith, show
ing a handsome collection of lately
openod envelopes, '' my creditors
did."
Mme. Eegnen a florist ofßoostoen,
Holland, is the owner of a giant rose
bush, which had 6000 roses in fnll
bloom at one time during tho past
summer.
NO. 11.
WHAT WOULD WE DO*
If all the world was always bright,
Without a shadow ereepln',
An' suns kopt shlnln' day an' night-*
What would wo do for sleepln'?j
If all the skies was always olear,
An' Spring just kopt a-stayln',
An' bees made honey all the year—
What would we do for slolghln'?
If everything went jest our way,
An' not a'storm Was hnwlia';
An' cash came In for work or play.
What would wo do for growlln"/
Jest let the plan o' Nature rest-
Be glad for any weather;
The feller who still does his best,
Brings earth an' heaven tigether
—Atlanta Constitution.
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
There is something crooked about
n man who carries a corkscrow.—Bos
ton Courier.
A good many mon believe in adver
tising, bnt seem to think it should bo
free.—Albany Argus.
No malice can exist without thought;
so how can there be such a thing as
malice beforo thought?—Toxas Sitt
ings.
It is a pathetic fact that the hand
that rocks the cradlo can't throw a
rock and hit anything in sight.—
Somervillo Journal.
Minneapolis women who are going
to vote should remember that they
cannot use a hat pin to scratch a ballot
with. —Minneapolis Journal.
American Heiress—"Would yon
ever marry for money, Baron?"
Baron —"I don't know—how much
have you?"— New York Ledger.
H« had no ovorooat to wear.
Though chilly days had eomo,
But he'd slaved and saved almost enough
For ono chrysanthemum.
—Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Tailor—"l hear that you have paid
my rival, while you owe me for two
3uits." Student—"Who dares to ac
cuse mo of such a preposterous thing?"
—Fliegende Blaetter.
ChawXer —"Did yer go inter see de
snake charmer?" Ilengoutt —"Yes,
an' it's a question in me mind wedder
she charms do snakeß or paralyzes
dem." —Boston Courier.
Minister —"Good evening, sonny!
Is Brother Hapenny at home?"
Brother Hapcnny's Son—" 'Course!
Don't ye see us all outside th' house?"
—Cleveland Plaindealer.
Maude—"l hope you are not going
to marry that Mr. Kortcr !" Kate
"Really, I don't think it would make
any difference to you, dear, if I
didn't."—Boston Transcript.
Helen—"Funny you didn't notice
that Tom had been drinking. He
talked to yon quite awhile." Maude—
"Yes, but then ho talked to me under
his breath."—Boston Transcript.
"I wonder you women nover learn
how to get off a street cur." "Umh?
If we got off the right way it wouldn't
be long before they'd quit stopping
the cars for us."—Boston Courier.
Johnnie (with history book) —
"Papa, what was the Appian Way?"
Papa —"I suppose it was a way Ap
pian had, though I don't know much
about him personally."—Detroit Free
Press.
"Have you ever loved another,
Tom?" said Miss Gush to her intend
ed. "Certainly," repled he. "Do
you wish written testimonials from
my previous sweathearts?"— Harper's
Bazar.
She—"But how can you thmk I'm
pretty when my nose turns up so?"
He—"Well, all I have to say is that it
shows mighty poor taste in baoking
away from such a lovely mouth."—
Standard.
Exceptional Case—"l told my friend
Emma, under promise of the strictest
secrecy, that I am engaged to the
lieutenant, and the spiteful thing ac
tually kept the secret."— Fliegende
Blaetter.
"No," said the busy merohant; "I
don't care for no dictionaries to-day."
"Thank you," returned the fair
book agent from Boston; "how many
shall I put you down for?" —Smith &
Gray's Monthly.
Mr. Sorimp—"My dear, I don't see
how you had this counterfeit bill
passed on you!" Mrs. Sorimp—
"Well, you don't let mo see enough
real money to enable me to tell the
difference." —Harper's Bazar.
Mrs. Benedict —"Now, what would
you do, Mr. De Batch, if you had a
baby that cried for the moon?" De
Batoh (grimly)—"l'd do the next best
thing for him, madam; I'd make him
see stars."—Kate Field's Washington.
"There is something about you that
I like exceedingly," said Mr. Callow
hill to Miss Bicketts. "That's your
own inordinate egotism," replied the
girl. "My egotism?" "Yes, sir, for
nothing is about mo quito as much as
you."— Harper's Bazar.
Tibbie—"How did you manage to
get Manger to vote for our side?
Did you convince him that on the
groat political issues of tho day his
party is wrong and ours is right?"
Dibbie— "Well, it amounted to that.
I just praised his dog."— Boston Tran
soript.
The Shopper—"l'd like to buy that
lovely lamp shade, but I can't afford
to pay ten dollars for it." The Sales
man —"Well, madam, I'll make the
price nine dollars and ninety-nine
oents." The Shopper "Oh, how
good of you! I'll tike It.—Chicago
Record.
"I think I will take a holiday the
next three weeks," remarked the sec
retary and treasurer of a private com
pany to the chairman thereof. "But
you returned from one only two weeks
ago." "True; that was my holiday
as secretary; I wish togo now M
treasurer." —Tid-Bita.