SULLIVAN ALBFE* REPUBLICAN.
W. M. CHENEY. Publisher.
VOL. XI.
Tliey ore proposing to peusion
crs in England.
Crime is rapidly increasing all over
Argentina. Statistics show that it has
moro than doubled during the past
two years.
The School Board of Auburn, Me.,
has decided that it takes six children
to mnko a school, and they intend
closing up all schools having less than
that number.
A California man offers to give, with
out charge, to the city of San Fran
cisco a flow of water amounting to
190,000,000 gallons daily and bring it
about 120 miles from the forks of
North and Middle Yuba Rivers. His
only condition is that he should have
the privilege of leasing for a period of
twenty-five years the horse power to
be developed from the water.
A novel method of meeting the
chinch bug pest is being adopted in
Minnesota, where these insects appear
in such large numbers as to destroy
the crops. There is a disease known
ns entomophahera, which is deadly to
the bugs. Several hundred of them
are caught, inoculated with it and
turned loose. These give it to others,
and in the consequent epizootic the
bugs disappeor.
A controversy is raging in St. Louis
about the identity of the last surviving
soldier of the Revolutionary War. The
facts seem to indicate, concludes the
Atlanta Constitution, that this obscure
individual was John Gray, who died at
Hiramsburg, Ohio, March 28, 1868,
and who lies buried there in an almost
unmarked grave. He was 104 years
old at the time of his death, and was a
Continental soldier when only sixteen
years old.
More than eight thousand persons—
the exact number is 8180—committed
suicide in Paris iu 1891. The propor
tion is twenty-one to every 100,000 of
the inhabitants, and the increase over
1881 is twenty-five per cent. What
has caused the enormous percentage
of increase in self-destruction in ten
years, wonders the New York Mail
and Express. Apparently life is no
harder and its condition no more dis
couraging than they were ten years
n K°-
Says the Boston Herald: "The
country taverns are reported to be
getting a good deal of custom from
bicycle riders this summer, who make
long journeys into the country, put up
for a day or a night, and then keep on
or return home. Any town in the
rural districts that has good roads is
pure to be benefited by this sort of
custom, nud in time it will more than
make up for the losses which the
country hotels and boarding-houses
are likely to experience on account of
the prevailing business depression.
Let the town authorities bear iu mind
that good roads are the prime requisite
for encouraging this business, how
ever."
One of the most commendable
pensions granted by the British Gov
ernment- during the past year, the
New Orleans Picayune thinks, was that
of 8500 to Miss Lucy Garnett in recog
nition of her literary merits and to
enable her to prosecute her researches
in Oriental folk-lore. Other note
worthy pensions bestowed during the
year were one of 8370 to the widow oi
Professor Minto, and one of 8250 to
T. Adolphus Trollope's widow. The
ladies, indeed, fared very well, Mist
Margaret Stokes receiviugßsoo for her
researches into early Christian art and
archaeology in Ireland, and Mrs.
Cashel Hoev 8250 for her novels. The
Rev. Richard Morris, to whom every
student of early English literature and
philology is indebted, receives 8750.
The English, who are trying to
anglicize Egypt, are very much an
noyed by a recent decree of the young
Khedive to the effect that the Arabic
language must be used in all branches
of the curriculum of the Government
schools. The study of this language
has always been required of every
pupil, and they attain considerable
proficiency in it, in order to pass the
necessary examinations, but under the
present order it will become practi
cally the vernacular. The English
consider this a lonf? step backward,
and say that all the text books on the
modern arts and sciences are in the
languages of Europe, and that all at
tempts to teach them in the Arabic
have resulted badly. This, perhaps,
was due to the fact that the teachers
were not ho familiar with the language
as they might have, been. At all
events, no one can blame the Khedive
for using all the means in his power to
keep alive the National institutions
and feelings of his people. Egypt is
almost a British colony now.
A Western geologist says that Kansas
can raise wheat for another thousand
years before exhausting the necessary
properties of the soil.
The Greek style of building, modi
fied to modern needs, has been most
successfully used in Paris, where many
palaces are seen of this construction.
A New York music dealer says that
the composer of"After the Ball" will
make 8100,000 out of his song. Many
other authors of popular songs have
made nothing because they failed to
take out copyrights.
Some time ago an lowa cyclone fol
lowed the route of a railroad for sev
eral miles, and now, the Chicago Her
ald learns that there is a theorist on
deck who proposes to steer these
storms, by means of rails laid and
wires strung for the purpose, into open
sections of country where they can
spend their force without damage.
Prince Henry of Orleans, who is not
of much account in most things, has
shown wisdom in advising the scions
of French royal houses to assist in the
colonial development of France, since
they can but add confusion to confu
sion if they take part in politics. It
was upon his advice that tho young
Duke of Uzeo went on the Congo ex
pedition, which proved fatal to him.
If half the stories told of him aro
true, Lord Cromer, tho British diplo
matic agent iu Egypt, is an original
individual. He divides his leisure time
between lawn tennis and Homer in the
original Greek. During the recent
Egyptian crisis Lord Cromer ordered
the Khedive to dismiss his prime min
ister within twenty-four hours,ordered
troops from Malta and Aden in case of
an emergency and then went out and
played tennis until sunset.
The paucity of American-born sail
ors in the United States Navy has ex
cited a great deal of comment, ob
serves the Chicago Herald. A record
of the seamen serving iu the navv since
the establishment of this system shows
that not more than four per cent, of
the lads who are graduated from tho
apprentice training system continue in
the service of the United States. The
records futhur show that of the 7250
seamen allowed by law in the navy, less
than one-half of those who enlist at the
receiving ships are native born Ameri
cans.
The interesting fact is shown in the
emigration and immigration returns of
Great Britain and Ireland last year
that, while the native population is
leaving in hundred of thousands for
this country and the British colonies,
there is a considerable influx of immi
grants into the United Kingdom, com
ing for permanent settlement. Last
year 210,042 British and Irish left
their home, the great majority, 150,-
039, coming to the United States. In
the same period 22,137 aliens from the
continent of Europe arrived in the
United Kingdom "for permanent set
tlement."
Western railroad officials say that
this year's corn crop will be 300,000,-
000 bushels larger than last year's;
that the oat crop 50,000,000 larger;
that the wheat crop will lie only
100,000,000 bushels smaller; that, the
hog crop will be 4,000,000 larger and
that all roads will have vastly more to
haul than in 1892-92. State Secretary
Mohler has issued a special report on
the corn prospects of Kansas. He puts
the area at 6,290,000 acres, only 600,000
under the wonderful area of 1889, when
the yield was 273,000,000, and that the
condition this year promises a yield
exceeded only by 1889.
The New York Post remarks that
"Few people have any conception of
the pressure for pardon which is
brought to bear upon every Executive.
Governor Stone, of Missouri, has at
least 500 applications before him, and
declares that it is not an exaggeration
to say that one-half of his time is ab
sorbed in listening to such applica
tions, which Hre presented by mothers,
wives, daughters, lawyers, friends from
every part of the State, singly, by
twos and threes, and often in larger
delegations. Most of these applica
tions he has to refuse, only nineteen
having been granted during the first
six months of his term ; but it is easy
to accept his plea that 'an undue pro
portion of my time is consumed with
these matters, and the strain upon
nervous vitality resulting from the pa
thetic incidents connected with them
is very exhausting.' It is obvious that
some change ought to be made, either
by the establishment of a Board of
Pardons or otherwise; for it is absurd
that half of an Executive's time and
strength should be exhausted in con
sidering petitions that he will set aside
tho findings of the courts."
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 1893.
HOW TO LIVE.
Po should wo live that every hour,
May (lie as dies the natural flower.
A self-reviving thing of power.
That every thought, anil every deed,
May hold within Itself the 9eed,
Of future good and future meed.
AN INTERRUPTED VERDICT.
lights were
j 112 I I turned low in
I the courtroom,
g ami about them
slowly circled
• the foul, heavy
d im n ess.
J Judge Green
goods had gimc
t° his dinner,
B?l J/ I having an
||| A nounced his iu-
V.|fc \||sg||ggp tent-ion to re
turn at 9 o'clock
unless sum
moned sooner by the agreement of the
jury. The District Attorney had
packed away the papers that had seen
1 heir day in his green bag, rind, arm
in arm with his assistant, had strolled
uway, pausing now and then to whis
per a caution to a bailiff, and to re
ceive in return more or less authentic
information.
The prisoner had been led over the
covered corridor—another Bridge of
Sighs—into the jail, to await his fate
in the cell where murdererß were al
ways kept, as the great iron riug in the
centre of the floor, for their better se
curing, attested. His counsel had
accompanied him to the stairway, and
then had turned into the oflice to have
a smoke ond a chat as to prospects
with his friend the Sheriff.
"Dubious," said that functionary,
munching on his cigar. "The Judge
was agin him from the fust, and the
jury seed it."
The reporters had hurried away
with their notes, first arranging for
telephone calls when a verdict was
reached.
High above the Judge's bench run a
gallery. At the end nearest the win
dows was a door. Beforo this door sat
a court officer, anil behind it were the
jury, discussing, and so vigorously,
too, that again and anon a muffled
sound would descend to those who
waited.
These were few in number—the jan
itor of th'e building, the clerk, who
lived out of town and had brought a
lunch with him ; three or four attend
ants, the blind crier, dozing in liiiL
chair, and, in the further corner of
the spectators' seats, an old woman
and a young girl. The former of
these two was stiff and motionless, her
features set sternly, and her eyes burn
ing with u tierce desire. The latter
was slight and yielding ; she swayed
from the weakness that terror had
brought, and would have rested her
head on her companion's arm hail not
an unrecognized antipathy prevented.
There and thus they had bat through
out the day, the matron a stone and
the maiden a reed. Finally this young
girl spoke. "Grandma," she said,
"why docs that man sit without that
door?"
"He is on guard, ray child, to see
that the jury are secure and unmo
lested. "
"But why should they be locked
up?"
"In order that they may render a
verdict and thus punish the wicked."
"But surely each one must have I
known what he believed when the case
was finished, and confining them won't
cause them to change."
"No, but discussion may."
"Then that would be yielding to
other influences than that of the evi- \
denee, and that, would be contrary to
the oath they each one took."
"Some are strong and sensible, and '
others are weak and foolish. It is
proper that the will of the former j
should prevail."
"But that wouldn't be their unani- !
mous judgment then, and who can say
but that the weak and foolish may not j
sometimes be right? Besides they
must be hungry and tired and cross.
And when people are cross they ore
unfair. Oh, what a dreadful thing is !
the law !"
"What a dreadful thing rather is
murder. Think of your only brother
done to death by the Barlings. 1 only
wish the old days of drawing uml quar
tering had returned."
"Oh, do you really believe—"
"Bel'eve! Don't I know? Hain't
the Knowleses rfiid the Barlings been
at odds this fifty years? Didn't the ,
boys quarrel at the tavern? Haven't
we heered the detectives' stories and !
this lad's admission? What if the
others did get away? He was there,
and he done it as much as them. And
the jury will say 'Swing,' you mark
me."
"But there were two who seemed to
believe his story."
"Them poor critters in the back
row? They dassent trust their own
feelings in the face of the others. Do
you mind that racket? That will set
tle their doubts in short order. Now
you shut up, Patty. If I thought
that one of my kin wouldn't rejoice in
the death of an enemy, I'd turn her
into the street without a shawl to her
back or a shoe to her feet."
"Poor, poor Tommy!" sobbed the
girl, as she trembled before the indis
tinct sounds of wrangling that cone
from above.
Patty Knowles shrank still further
away from the stony bosom and the
threatening arm, and tried to Hunk,
as if thoughtseould bring comfort. It
was all too awful to be real; she must
be dreaming; yet why could she not.
awake? Was it true that she, with her
grandmother, was awaiting in court
the verdict which should shamefully
destroy their enemy, and that enemy
her old comrade, Tommy Barling?
Ah, there were substances, not sliod-
ows, about her; her mind in its peace
sul slumbers had never imagined any
thing so cruel t Yet ho would be ac
quitted, how could she doubt, when
the jurymen as well as she had heard
his frank, simple story and had seen
the candor of hiß beautiful face? Had
she not watched them and detected
expressions of sympathy,of confidence,
on at least two of their countenances?
And if these men had once trusted
would they dare to condemn? Then,
indeed, were not they the murderers
who- would slay for relief from cus
tody, from fatigue, or from fear of
their associates? Oh, a dreadful
thing was this law which beclouded
the truth when it was so evident!
Hadn't Tommy explained that he was
removing the obstruction from the
track when the "wildcat" so unexpect
edly came arouud the curve and struck
it, and was derailed?
Couldn't they understand why he
had remained silent when asked how
he happened to be there? Surely, any
one could see that he had discovered
his brothers' plot and had striven to
thwart it, but was now too loyal to im
plicate them. The idea that Tommy,
her gentle, true-hearted Tommy, would
connive to slay the only brother of the
girl he loved! And yet, when he had
refused to answer, the Judge, who
surely should be impartial in action as
well as word, had swung arouud im
patiently in his chair, and the District
Attorney had smiled, oh. so ironically,
and shrugged his shoulders and said :
"You see, gentlemen. See?"
The case which had occupied the
Aberdeen Oyer and Terminer for the
past week, was, as tho District Attorney
had said in his opening, "awful in tho
simplicity and directness of its proof."
At the further end of the county, amid
the arid sand plains, the Barlings and
the Knowleses had occupied adjacent
farms for many years. Tho railway
ran in front of their dwellings, and the
young men had grown up half farmers,
half linemen, gleaning from the two
occupations livelihood and recreation.
There had been a constant feud be
tween the two families, sprung from
somo forgotten trivial cause, but en
hanced into bitterness through paucity
of daily interest.
There were three Barling boys, of
whom Thomas, tho defendant, was the
youngest, and one Knowles, the brother
of Patty. This latter had encountered
one evening the two elder Barlings at
tho village tavern, and a quarrel and a
scuffle had ensued. It was the follow
ing day that a "wildcat" train, of
which young Knowles was engineer,
was derailed and ho thrown from tho
cab and killed. Thomas Barling was
seen running away from the place
where this accideijt- occurred. His
brothers disappeared, but the detec
tives, incited by liberal rewards, caused
the arrest of the lad, claiming that it
was ho who had set tho obstruction on
the track.
His presence, his .'light, his terror,
certain incoherent words which ho had
uttered ou hi" apprehension, consti
tuted the ma.u points of the ease against
him. His defense had been necessarily
brief, consisting of his youth, good
character, aud his own story slightly
corroborated—that he had been en
gaged in removing tho obstructions,
when the "wildcat," of whose existence
he liatl not been aware, came around
the curve and struck. But on the
question of how ho happened to be
there at just this time ho had remained
silent.
Solemnly the great clock in the
courtroom beat out the dragging mo
ments. Tho bailiffs droned stories and
yawned. Tho clerk scribbled on tho
back of papers. Tho crier slept the
sleep of childhood and smiled over its
reviving scenes. The old woman sat
erect, motionless, intent like another
Sphynx, awaiting tho culmination of
burning desires. Perhaps she alone
could explain that ancient feud ; per
haps when that bosom had been ten
der and that arm softly responsive to
caresses, an inujry to her beauty had
been the dragon's tooth of this future.
Perhaps the past now returned to her :
for expectancy hath its panorama of
spent, but not dead, emotions. Cer
tainly little Patty, as she saw tho grim
face growing grimmer, grew faint with
dread, for in its lines she read ven
geance upon Tommy and woe for her
self.
There was a sharp, demanding rap
on the door of the jury room. Its
drowsy guardian sprang to his feet and
unlocked it. There were whispers, and
then onco more the door closed, the
bolt was shot, tho sentinel sat at his
post. Once more, but with a differ
ence. The man no longer lolled. Ho
was big with the consciousness that
every eye was upon him, big in the
possession of a secret which he had no
right to know.
The great clock ticked warningly,
for tho hours of excitement are mo
ments. It was nearing the time for
the Judge's return. Tho clerk set
dockets and pen and paper in order.
The bailiffs shut windows and opened
doors, aud turned up lights and took
their stations. There was one whose
post was by the door at the end of tho
gallery leading to the jury room,
which opened upon the main stairway
of the building. The guardian of the
jury room was his friend, and, as he
passed, whispered a single word. The
bailiff stepped to his place and beyond.
He leaned over tho rail aud gazed
down into the gloomy corridor. The
front door swung open, a dignified
form entered. He recognized it, and
in an instant was leaping down the
stairs. And in another instant Judge
Greengoods knew at what verdict the
jury had arrived, knew that the solemn
words which he had mentally arranged
during his walk thither had not been
marshaled in vain.
Many sharp eyes had noticed the
passing of that single word from officer
to officer, and ere the crier had begun
his sonorous proclamation, bailiffs and
attorneys and Shi-riff and prisoner
kuow that the verdict was "guilty.,'
Patty knew it, too, for she had watched
that guardian at the door as if he hold
tho portals of her happiness. Patty
knew it, and a groat sob swelled in hor
heart and hardened into a resolution.
In this moment of extremity, when
human and Divine powers had
coalesced against him, she would be by
her old playmate's sido to comfort, to
sustain, to bless ! She looked at her
grandmother. That expectant gaze
had not yet changed into triumph.
"I will go a little closer, so that I can
find out," she said, anil the old lady
nodded an eager approval.
Down the narrow iron stairway along
the wall came the jury—swaggering,
hesitating, stuttering. Patty leaned
against the little door of the railing
which divided the ccmrtroom, thus
seporating tho goats of spectators from
tho sheep of the bar, and studied the
faces as they passed. Stolid, im
movable for tho most part; but there
wero two that seemed worried and
dubious, and they were the faces of the
two men in whom she had put her
trust. Oh, cowards! Why had they
not preserved the courage of their
convictions or why had they put them
selves in a position where faint
heartedness is a crime?
The jury took their seats, these two
men in the places which they had
occupied during the trial, Nos. 7 and 8
in the rear row, directly behind the
foreman. From the anteroom came
Tommy, and sat by his lawyer along
side of the. table in front of the Judge's
bench. How pale ho was, but how
quiet, how stern! Was it possible
that those lips which had ever curled
in smiles could be so firm? Why one
might bo afraid of him, that is, one
who didn't love him as she did! Patty
brushed a tear from her cheek as she
gazed; it seemed as if he wore already
dead, and that it was his cold gray
shado that now appeared.
"Call the roll, Mr. Clerk," said
Judge Greengoods, and, as that func
tionary obeyed, each juryman answered
"Present"—complacently so, too, ex
cepting Nos. 7 and 8, who looked as if
tlioy wished very much they wero else
where. No. 7 was a tall, slendor, bent
young man, awkwurdand bashful, who
was perpetually blushing, either lie
cause people were looking at him or
because he imagined they were. He
also stammered. No. 8 was a short,
thick-set, aggressive-appearing old
gentleman, very deliberate in action,
slightly deaf, but ever ready to slay
any one who imputed such a defect to
him. Consequently, No. 7 dropped
into a pool of stuttering, \vhere he
hopelessly floundered, and No. 7
shouted "Here" some time after tho
clerk had noted the attendance.
"Stand lip," said *ho clerk to the
prisoner. And Tommy arose and stood
with folded arms, a fragile yet in
trepid Ajax defying tho lightning.
But, oh, it was dark about him; if
there might bo but a single ray of sym
pathy, then he could endure. Tho
court officer at the little gate was nat
urally moro interested in the procee
ings than in his duty. He moved for
ward, an I Patty slipped within the
rail.
"Let the prisoner look u, . - the
jury; let the jury look upon the pris
oner," continued the clerK. "Gen
tlemen of the jury, have yon agreed
upon v >ur verdict?"
The foreman dropped his hat and
folded his overcoat ard struggled to
his feet. In that silent instant of
suspense there was a fluttering sound,
and Potty flow to her old playmate's
side. She throw one arm about his
neck, and stood with the other ex
tended toward the jury box like a
guardian angel performing her mission.
She upraised her face glowing with
with light of love, and Tommy bent
his head and kissed her tremuloils lips.
"We have," answered the foreman.
"We find the prisoner"—but hero arose
confusion. From the touching tableau
Nos. 7 and 8 sprang forward on either
side, both noisy, incoherent, and in
dignant. From the spectators' space
an ancient fury with blazing eyes and
twitching fingers was menacingly ad
vancing.
"Sileuce! Order!" cried Judge
Greengoods, rapping sharply, and the
crier reiteroted his command. The
bailiffs rushed to their posts, One
caught the grandmother at the little
gate and forced her back; another
gently placed Patty in a chair, but she
leaned against the prisoner and
clung to his hand and onnointed it
with her tears. Once more the silence
of suspense prevailed.
"We find him guilty, your Honor,"
blurted the foreman. "Or at least I
thought we did, but these two gentle
men seem to object."
Then again there was confusion. The
District Attorney, his assistant, the
defendant's counsel wero on their feet
together and talking at once
"Sit down !" thundered JudgeGreen
goods. "Mr. Clerk, poll that- jury."
"Guilty," answered the foreman in
response to his name, and "guilty"
answered the succeeding five. Then
came No. 7's turn. He sprang forward,
apoplectic with determination to ex
press himself aud for oncouuconscious
of his own personality. "Not guilty,"
he screamed, "and I've been trying to
say so ever since wo retired."
Then No. 8 deliberately set each foot
in place and arose. "Your Honor,"
ho said, "I am thoroughly convinced of
the defendant's innocence, and I un
derstood that we all were. 1 am a
man, sir, not apt to be mistaken, aud
there must be some chicanery at work
here. 1 solemnly protest against the
verdict as given by the foreman, and I
beg to say that I am prepared to main
tain my judgment for the rest of my
natural life."
"It is evident, your llouor,"said the
prisoner's counsel, "that there lias
been a mistrial. I would ask that the
jury be dismissed and the defendant
released ou his own un- j
less, indeed, my learned brother will
agree to an order of nolle prosequi—"
•'Never," exclaimed the District!
Terms—sl.oo in Advance ; 51.25 after Three Months.
Attorney with on oratorical swing.
"Never. I have a duty, sir, a sacred
duty that I owe to the people of this
great commonwealth which sustains
me."
"There, there !" interrupted Judge
Greengoods, "of course, of course. I
dismiss the jury and continue the case
unto tho next term. The prisoner is
remanded without bail. Adjourn
court, Mr. Crier," and withavery dis
satisfied expression contorting his reg
ular features "his honor" hastened
away to his club.
The Sheriff led his prisoner away.
The lights were turned out and the
great building was left to the ghosts
of sorrows and the echoes of sobs.
And little Patty driving homo with her
wrathful grandmother dared smile
through her tears.
But before the next term news came
of the violent death of the elder Bar
ling boys in a foreign laud and of their
prior confession and assertion ot their
brother's innocence. The grim jail
yielded up its captive, and the cell
where murderers had been chained
knew his guileless nature no more.
Impotent rage increased the weight of
year» until they crushed the grand
mother into her grave. The feud be
tween the two families was buried with
her, and over their joint farms Patty
Barling now presides as a happy mis
tress. —New York Times.
WISE WORDS.
Hasty marriage seldom proveth well.
Self-respect—that- cornerstone of all
virtue.
There is no malice like the malice of
the renegade.
Tho absence of temptation is the
absence of virtue.
No man who needs a monument ever
ought to have one.
No nation can be destroyed while it
possesses a good home life.
Out of clothes, out of countenance;
out of countenance, out of wit.
The lowest people are generally tho
first to find fault with show of equipage.
As soon go kindle fire with snow as
seek to quench the fire of love with
words.
What is becoming in behavior is
honorable, and what is honorable is
becoming.
Be thou the first true merit to be
friend ; his praise is lost who waits till
all commend.
It is vain to trust iu wrong ; as much
of evil so much of U»ss, is the foiinula
of human history.
He who observes, the speaker moro
thai the sound of ljip words will seldom
meet with disappoin*meuts.
A politician weakly and amiably
right is no match for a politician
tenacioyoly and pugnaciously in the
wrong
'"Con seldom, or rather, never, for a
ongth of time tnd deliberately rebel
against anything that does not deserve
rebelling against.
'.a Incident in E<lK"i's Early Life.
In telegraphy, operiv >rs are taught;
receivers must bo born. Equipped by
nature and training, Edison gave up
the newsboy life, in which lie had
earned in four years S2OOO, the greater
I part of which he g ivo to his parents.
Now began his migratory career as
a telegraph operator. Many lips jjnd
downs were his. Often he was cold,
hungry, and shelterless, for ihe insati
able impulse to experiment to the neg
lect of his duties kept him continually
out of work. One day he reveled in
tho pra'3oß his ingenuity evoked ; the
next, he was dubbed "Luny" and
turned adrift.
Perhaps his most ingenious boyhood
feat was performed during an ice jam
that broke the cable between Port
Huron in Michigan and Sarnia in
: Canada. The river at this point is a
mile and a half wide. Tho ice made
the river impassable, and there was no
way of repairing the cable.
Edison impulsively jumped on a loco
motive and seized the valve controlling
| the whistle. He had an idea that the
i blasts of the whistle might be broken
into long and short sounds, corres
ponding to the dots and dashes of
telegraphy. In a moment the whistle
sounded over the river : Toot, toot,
toot, toot—toot, toooot—toooooot—
toooooot—toot, toot—toot, toot.
"Hallo-o, Sarnia! Do you get me?"
"Do you hear what I say?"
No answer.
"Do you hear what I say, Sarnia?"
A third, fourth, and 'fifth time the
message went across, to receive no re
sponso. Finally, the operator on the
other side understood. Answering
"toots" came cheerfully back, and
tho connection was established.—St.
Nicholas,
Cured by Laughter.
Laughter has often dissipated dis
ease and preserved life by a sudden
effort of nature. We are told that the
great Erasmus laughed so heartily at
a satirical remark that he broke a
tumor and recovered his health. In a
singular treatise on "laughter,"
Joubert gives two similar instances.
A patient being very low, the physician,
who had ordered a dose of rhubarb,
countermanded the medicine, which
was left on the table. A monkey in
the room jumping up, discovered the
goblet, aud liaviug tasted, made a
terrible grimace. Again putting only
his tongue to it, ho perceived some
sweetness of the dissolved manna,
while the rhubarb had sunk to the
bottom. Thus emboldened, he swal
lowed the whole, but found it such a
nauseous potion that, after many
strange aud fantastic grimaces, lie
ground his teeth iu agouy, and iu a
violent fury threw the goblet on the
floor. The whole affair was so ludicrous
that the sick mau burst into repeated
peals of laughter, and the rocovery of
cheerfulness led to health.—New York
Ledger.
NO. 49.
WOULD WE RETURN?
Would wo rot urn
If onco the gates which closed upon tha
past
Were opened wido for us, and if the dear
Remembered pathway strotched before • I
clear
To lead us back to youth's lost land at last,
When on life April shadows lightly cast,
Reoalled the old sweet days of childish fn&r
With all their faded hopes, and brought
nnear
The far off streams with which our ekies
were glassed;
Did these lost dreams which wake the soul's
sad yearning
But live onco more and waited our returning,
Would we return?
—Robert Burns Wilsoa,
IIUMOR OF THE DAY.
Good luck is the best nerve food.
In at the death—The heir-apparent.
—Truth.
A model young lady—The one who
poses for an artist.
Jagson says he has no objection to a
foreign air if it is disinfected. —Elmira
Gazette.
Antiquity is the thing which we aro
going to be a thousand years hence.
Ram's Horn.
The woman who vows that she has
"waited for an age" never confesses to
it in her years.
Hope is the smiling personage who
presents us with a bill-of-faro when we
haven't a cent in our pocket.—World's
Fair Pnck.
Landlord—"You should always pay
as you go, young man." Impecunious
Boarder—"True, but I don't intend to
go for six months yet. "—Boston Gazette.
"When I was young we prepared
students for life ; now wo prepare them
for examinations," is a bit of truth
from Jules Simon.—Medical Record.
If all things oomo to those who wait,
Then wide must be the range
Of things to come to those who stop
In dry goods stores for change.
—Buffalo Courier.
Mr. Foster Tightfist—"Say! let mo
have that five I loaned you last night,
will you?" Mr. Spender—"Man alive,
I haven't had time to spend it yet."—
Brooklyn Life.
Late revelers singing "There's No
Place Like Home" always stop their
melody just belore they get there and
creep upstairs in their stocking feet.
—Boston Transcript.
He—(maliciously)—"lt in only tho
female mosquito that annoys.people."
She (musingly) —"I notice .that, you
take a great delight in mashing ♦ in."
—lndianapolis Journal.
Skiggs—"Must be something inter
esting. What is it?" Skaggs—"Long
account telling how a man was robbed
on a car." Skiggs—"Humph! Wag
ner or Pullman?"— Buffalo Courier.
Charity—"So, Jim, you were ex
travagant enough to pay S2O a dozen
for your handkerchiefs. Don't yon
think that was a good deal of money
to blow in?"— Columbus Spectator.
"One of you boys has been" stealing
raisins again ; I havo found the seeds
on the floor. Which one of ,you was
it?" Tommy—"lt wasn't me ; I swal
lowed the seeds in mine."—Tit-Bits.
Tommy (at the Fair)—''' Mamma,
what makes all the guards wear straps
under their chins?" Mamma (tired
out) "I think it is to keep them from
asking questions."—Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
He—"What kind of a story did .that
tramp trump up to get his breakfast?"
She —"None at all. Ho said ho'd seen
a good many babies, but ouf Teddy
was ahead of tham all."—Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
Teacher—"Now, Tommy, if you
were a man and had 82000, and you
wanted to buy a house worth SIO,OOO,
what would you do?" Tommy—"l
guess I'd try and marry some woman
with SBOOO." —Texas Sittings.
Drill Sergeant (to recruit) —"l've
told you forty times that you must
stand up as straight as if you had swal
lowed a ramrod. Instead of that you
appear to have swallowed half a dozen
Turkish scimitars." —Texas Sittings.
He —"Is there anything I cian do to
prove my affection so that you will not
doubt it?" She—"There iB. Marry
my sister. Sho is older than I, and
mamma is determined to not let me
marry till sister is disposed of."—ln
dianapolis Journal.
Mr. Wickwire—"l notice that Jules
Verno is uixty-srx years old .and has
written just sixty-six books." Mrs.
Wickwire— "Well, that is not so
many. He only had to writo at the
rate of one book it year to do that."
—lndianapolis Tournal.
Doctor—"What you need is more
exercise. What business do you fol
low?" Patient—"l am a bricklayer."
"Humph! I should think you would
get a. I the exercise you required, but
your symptoms indicate that you ore
of a sedentary disposition." "Well,
you see, Doctor, I work by the day."
"Ah, that explains it."-—Texas Siftv
•ntfs.
Length of the World's Days.
At Stockholm, Sweden, the. longest
day is 18J hours in length; at Spits
bergen it is three anil a half months.
At London, England, and Bremen,
Prussia, the longest dny has 19 j hours.
At Hamburg, Germany, nnd Dautzig,
Prussia, tho longest day has seventeen
hours. At Wardbury, Norway, the
longest day lasts from May 21 to July
22, without interruption. At St. Pe
tcrsburg, llus.iin rvnd Tobolisk, Sibe
ria, tho longest day is nineteen hours
and tho shortest live hours. At Tor
no 3, Finliui 1, Juno 31 bring* a day
nearly twenty-two hours long, and
Christmas one loss thau three hours in
length. At Now York tho longest day
is about flftaon hours; at Montreal,
Canada, it is sixteen hours.—Chicago
Herald.