SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY. Publisher. VOL. XI. Georgia ranks as our first State in the production of watermelons, second in that of rice and third in that of cot ton. ' United States Consul Newson, at Malaga, reports that it is possible for a very poor mun to live there on five cents a day, while a very respectable dinner may be had for a dime. The salary of the Mayor of Abilene, Kan., is a dollar a year. For this rea son it is thought by the New York Tri bune that next year the office will seek the woman, since there is nothing in it for a mun. Tlie London Times calls Captain A. T. Mahan, of the United States Navy, "the most distinguished living writer on naval strategy and the originator and first exponent of what may be called the philosophy of naval his tory. " The Duke of Argyll has been making a special study of the "seven centuries of English misrule" in Ireland, and has just completed a work in which are to be brought to light many new and un noticed facts bearing on this subject. The work is to be called "Irish Nation alism ; An Appeal to History." Railways never would have been per mitted to exist in England, writes William M. Acworth, had they been as reckless of human life and as careless of the inconvenience they inflicted on individuals as American railways have been and to a great extent still are. "An Englishman can only stare with astonishment when he sees for the first time trains running through crowded streets of cities such as New York and Chicago." The complete .tisties show that the production of beet agar in the United States has more than doubled during the past year, although there has been no increase in the number of factories. The total production of the six factories was 27,083,322 pounds, against a total of 12,004,838 pounds last year. Ex periments in growing sugar beets have been tried in a number of the Western States, and the success has been so great that the number of factories will be increased. The Bankers' Monthly avera that our banks on the frontiers of Canada, have, at times, it is said, paid out, or technically, put iu circulation the bills of Canada banks that float over for border purchases and expenses of travel, etc. On these they are liable to pay ten per cent, tax to the Federal Government. The only way our banks can get rid of them and avoid the tax is to ship them to Canada, and have re mittance made to New York for ac count of the American bank. The New York Herald thinks that the danger of contracting disease from microbe-laden bank notes is very much underestimated in this country. It suggests that, as most people who are t'iken with contagious diseases are not able to tell how they are contracted ; perhaps in many cases the malady has been contracted by handling microbe laden currency. It may be so, com ments the New Orleans Picayune, but so long as this same currency is a legal lender, and one cannot refuse it with out forfeiting his claim to payment, what is a poor fellow to do? It is a case of neck or nothing. The Now Orleans Picayune .'Urintains that "American cotton mills, and more particularly Southern mills, having the supply of raw material close at hand, and being equipped with the most per fect machinery, should be able to un dersell Lancashire in all the world's markets. We can raise cheaper cotton than any other cotton-producing coun try, and, with the looms und spindles located in close proximity to the cotton fields, we ought to be able to furnish the world with cheaper cotton than any other country. It is, therefore, very evident that the near future must wit ness a wonderful development of our cotton goods exports. Says the New York Press: The ob stacle to the general substitution of aluminum for iron and steel in the arts has been the high cost of extracting it from the native clay. This lias been partially overcome by progressive im provements in the process of manufac ture, but still aluminum remains too costly to be thought of as a substitute for the baser metals, notwithstanding its advantages in other respects. The reported discovery of extraordinarily rich deposits of aluminum clay in Ala bama and Georgia indicates a long step forward for the white metal. Six coun ties in these two States are said to be underlaid with bauxite ore, some of which has yielded as high as forty-eight per cent, of pure aluminum. If the reports from these counties are reliable J,i a':: -i-im age is approaching. Chicago's mortality statistics show that a surprisingly large number of residents of the lake city live to bo uver ninety. A capital of $25,000,000 is invested :n the nursery interest in 172,000 acres )f land. In all horticultural pursuits the cntiro capital is estimated at over 81,000,000,000 by the . census of tho Agricultural Department. The New York Herald notes that the instalment plan of selling bicycles, which all the leading manufacturers have adopted, has vastly increased the uumber of devotees of the silent steed and to the same extent the advocates of good roads. Frances Willard, temperance advo cate, has somewhat astonished English people by suggesting in all seriousness that the "grill" behind which all wo men except peeresses have had to con ceal themselves to listen to tho debates in the House of Commons, be placed in tho British Museum as a relic. A Mr. Snashall, of Washington, D. C., has recovered from tho Metro politan Street Railway Company of that city $443 as a recompense for the loss of the services of his wife, through an injury that she received in 1888 on the cars of that company. He is said to be a wealthy gentleman from Wis consin, and his wife did the family washing. Of course her services were very valuable. In 1892 the total number o* persons employed in and about all the mines of the United Kingdom was 721,808, of whom 6099 wero females, working above ground. There were 862 acci dents during the year, occasioning 1034 deaths; one death for every 679 per sons employed, as against one for every 668 in tho preceding year. The sibilants in the language of the Northwestern tribcß cannot fail to Vie noticed by the traveler in Washington and British Columbia, although their speech is described as "a choke and a splutter." The Indian names of places that are still preserved there are full of hisses and s's. Examples: Squullyamiuh, Spats urn, Spuzzum, Scuzzy, Snohomish, Similkameen, Sumass, Sweltcha, Skomekan, Hyosk wulmloos, Squim, Swinomish, Skagit, Samamish, Snoquaimie and Snokomish. That versatile and industrious statis tician, Edward Atkinson, has made a calculation as regards the "bill for our Civil War." He figures up, as the ex penditure for war purposes and re construction, some $4,000,000,000; and as to the probable cost of war, in money, to the South, of $2,200,000,- 000. To these he adds the pension roll at $1,800,000,000, and the esti mated cost of future pensions, accord ing to life tables, at about $2,000,000,- 000 more. This, together with tho in terest allowance of about $2,000,000,- 000, swells the total cost of the Civil War to the sum of $12,000,000,000. An examination of tho statistics of horses, horned cattle, sheep and swino of the country shows some surprising things to the American Dairyman. Placing our population at 65,000,000 we find that there is but one horse for every four and a small fraction of our per capita. That there are but a triflo over three-fourths of horned cattle for every unit of population, while there aro about two-thirds of a sheep for every person of the population. From this we can gather the importance of the labor of the farmer. Without his crops wo should soon be on the vergo of starvation. With this condition con fronting us, civilization would soon disapjjear and man become a barbarian if he did not descend still lower in the scale of life. This should teach us the importance and dignity of the farmer's calling and our absolute dependence on his labor. County names in New England and middle Atlantic States are almost ex clusively of English or Indian origin. In the border States of the South they are chiefly English ; in the gulf States English and Indian, with French in Louisiana and traces of Spanish origin in Florida and Texas. In the Missis sippi Valley they are again of English and Indian origin, with some French names coming down from the Jesuit explorers. In the Bocky Mountain States they are again English and In dian, with a larger proportion of the latter than elsewhere, and on the Pacific coast of Spanish County names again crop out. Toxas has a Deaf Smith County, about the only instance of a nickname having been fixed upon an important political division. The Chi sago Herald thinks a pretty fair history of the political and social influence at irork in the early development of a State conld l>e written from a study of county names, LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 9, 1893. WHAT YS BEYOND. The bine sky and Am bine lako Meet together In sunny weather, _ But what, oh I what Is beyond? I know this side the horizon line, With its purple hillsides, broad and fine; But the country beyend, has it lakes like ours, And trees of grandeur, and fruits and flow ers? What, oh! what Is beyond? The gray sky and the gray lako Meet together In sombre weather, But what, oh ! what is beyond? I know these homes, with their loves and woes, Tholr buried hopes from which patience grows; Are these broken affections united there? Are hopes fruition, and answered, prayer? What, oh ! what Is beyond? The black sky and the black lako Meet together In stormy weather, But what, oh ! what is beyond? I know the currents that thrill the earth, And flash the sky at the thunder's birth j But what of the circuit for souls between, And the central power in the Great Unseon? What, oh ! what is beyond? -Sarah K. Bolton, In New York Independent. THE COWBOYS' COLLECTION T was Sunday. The little church bell W7fl had summoned the [ryg] congregation to Kml morning service, -r"- Kgjj though a few late " jjW comers were still 'JSS'; ,H the con secrated spot. The Sabbath |-jf fy! )■ ma*'l observed and | t respected by all the residents of the town, excepting Jan 3ebhardt. This citizen, despite the pleadings and persuasions of the little parson and different members of the church, refused to close his saloon on Sunday, for upon this day he usually realized his biggest profits. Many laborers from the surrounding ranches, farms and mines spent their Sabbaths and week's wages at Geb hardt's tavern, and the passing traveler was sure to rest there over night if he arrived on Sunday, and this was, of course, another source of revenue for the proprietor. This morning Jan was standing at the door, placidly smoking his pipe and looking away toward the mountains with a self-satisfied expres sion. The beauty of the landscape be fore him might have Awakened the soul of a poet or an artist, but Jan was not of a sensitive, emotional disposition. The scene presented to his phlegmatic mind simply eortli, vegetation and air, while in the clear, propitious weather he discerned alone the promise of ex tended patronage. As he stood thus, wrapped in pleas ant anticipations, he heard a faint, low, steady rumbling as if of distant thun der. He looked up quickly. There were no clouds in the sky. What could it mean ? It wits gradually be coming louder and more distinct, and seemed to issue from a large gulch or pass to tho west. Jan took the pipe from his mouth and listened. Suddenly a shout, accompanied by the report of a number of revolvers, startled tho echoes far and near, and there issued from the gulch a black mass which shortly resolved itself into a body of horsemen bearing down toward the town. Jan watched them lazily, thinking of the money he would be able to realize from them. Nearer and nearer sounded the clat tering of the horses' hoofs, until Jan eould almost hear each separate foot fall, and presently they slowed and ■topped outside his door. Smiling and ducking his head, he wished the visi tors good morning and invited them in. They accepted his invitation, and were soon standing and sitting about the bar room, while the obsequious Jan served them with drink. One of them, a burly fellow, asked him for a certain kind of liquor, and after the keeper of the tav ern had taken i„ from the shelf and turned about, his smile was suddenly transformed to a look of horror, for he found several revolvers levelled at him. "Mein cheuelmens, fhat you goin' to do?" cried the affrighted man. "Dutchy," said the burly fellow, "don't you know you're desecratin' the best day in tho week by keepiu' yer sa loon open?" "Veil, how can I helps it, chenel mens? It's tho pest day for peesi ness." "Business or no business, old man, you've got to reform. We're tho Sal vation Army, wo are, and don't you for get it." "Chenelmens, cheuelmens, don't do noddings to me," cried Jan, wringing his hands in anguish, as he looked down the bright barrels of half a dozen re volvers. "Fetch down them bottles from that shelf," shouted the cowboy. The trembling Jan obeyed. "Now, then," said this strange avenging angel, "set'em up across th' room; every one's a bull's eye." Jan hesitated, but the revolvers com pelled obedience. Before the caval cade moved on he had been obliged to see the destruction of a large port of his wares, and the unfortunate man was left standing amid a confusion of broken kegs, neckless bottles and pools of wines and liquors, wringing his hands and calling down maledictions upon his persecutors, who were now continuing their mad career, down the street. The cowboys soon came in sight of the little church, standing in a lot sur rounded by a rough picket fence, while a few small poplar trees seemed endea voring to cast a little shade abort the building. The sweet melody of of the old hymns floated out to them, and chey unconsciously pausedaud listened, and when it ceased rode onto the gate way. "Now for some fun, boys," said Billy, a graceful, lithe young man with mis chievous brown eyes, as he reigned up his horse; "you fellows just follow Spot and we'll see something interesting." Spot, who had been spokesman at the saloon, urged his horse forward and they slowly rode into the yard and to the door of the church. The congregation were kneeling in prayer, while the pastor, standing in the center of the platform, his arms uplifted, his face writhing in the most ludicrous contortions, was moving his body up and down, keeping time with the shouts he emitted, which were sup posed to be the prayers for the salva tion of the souls of his sinful brethren —at least so Billy surmised, as he watched him with an amused smile. As the pastor was gathering for the culmination of his prayer, the leader turned to his companions, and said in an undertone, "Now, then," and their horses' hoofs resounded on the wooden floor of the church. The startled con gregation, rising with one accord, be held Spot, the cowboy, riding solemn ly up tho aisle, followed by his com panions. "Don't be alarmed, ladies 'n' gentle men. We're only come t' join in the services, an' 'ill trouble you t' sit still they're over," said Spot, with a smile manufactured for the occasion, as the people seemed inclined to depart rather precipitously. Seeing themselves thus at the mercy of the cowboys, they were obliged to rtssume their seats, al most overcome by fear ond apprehen sion. "An' as fer yon, parson," said Spot, pointing his revolver at the trembling man, "don't stand there snivelin'. You're a purty kind er shepherd! I'll bet there ain't one iu th' flock as big a coward as you, 'n' yet you think you kin buy off th' Lord by shoutin' 'u' pretendin't' save souls a heap better'n yourn. I'll give you sompin't' do iu earnest. I ain't had no one to pray fer me since I was a little kid at my mam my's knee. You jis' git down on yer knees 'n' pray fer me now." The parson hesitated, threw up his hands, and rolled np his eyes iu depre cation. "There, parson, dont take on like a fool about it, bnt git down t' business, or I'll give you a lift t' a better land, a service y'd no doubt thank me fer." The little man did not seem quite ready to depart, for a better land, bo covered by Spot's revolver, he was ob liged to sink on his knees and begin his prayer. "Lord," he prayed, in a quavering voice, "O Lord—forgive and protect —this poor sinner " "See here, no« I don't want you givin' th' Lord no mistaken impression 'bout me. You tell Him about th' benefit lam t' this yere world." And again the revolver figured as a per suader, and the littlo parson changed the nature of his prayer. "He's giving Spot quite a 'send off,' " said Billy in an undertone to one of his companions^' 'we're not in it. The parson prayed for some time, then prepared to arise. "That ain't enough," shouted Spot, flourishing the revolver; "I'll be hanged ef I'm not goin't' have enough prayiu't' last, me a week, and then here's all these boys ain't been prayed for yet." So the parson resumed his prayer. Several times he uttempted to finish and arise, but every time Spot com pelled him to return to his prayer. At last, when he was out of breath, stiff in every joint and Bick with fright, Spot condescendingly said: "There, littlo 'un, that's enough. And now we're goin't' take up a kerlection. Boys, take yer hats 'roun,' 'n' don't let any guilty man escape." Two of the boys, each holding a hat in one hand, u revolver in the other, passed about tho church compelling every member of the terrified congre gation to give some contribution. Those who had no money were obliged to give a watch or a ring, or some other jewel or trinket they might have about them, and finolly it was all brought to Spot, who turned tho col lection over to Billy. "An' frien's," said Spot, "we're much obliged t' yon fer all this yere stuff, 'n' the par-son fer his prayers. Wo only wanter ask one thing more o' you. We ain't no low down thieves. We ain't takin' np this yere money 'n' gewgaws fer ourselves. We're going t' good with 'em. Now we'll trouble you t' tell us who's th' most deservin' charity in this yer town." "The widow !" said several voices in chorus. "And who might bo the widder? There ken be more'n one widder in a town. What's yer widder's name?" Nobody seemed to know, but he was told where she lived, and the caval cade of cowboys turned their horses around, and passed from the church into the bright sunlight. They wended their way down the road, laughing boisterously over their recent escapade, and soon found them selves in the littlo lano leading to the widow. The horses had been trotting brisk ly, but upon nenring the little, half decayed shanty standing alone among the sage ,iush and wild flowers, their pace slackened, and they finally came to a standstill before the broken gate. "Whose a-goin't' take the money 'n' stuff in t' the widder?" asked one of the boys. They all looked at. each other in some perplexity. " 'Pears t' Spot ourter," said another, "lie's bin heuiliu' th' gang all day." "It was Billy got up th' fun," said Spot, "so 'cordin't' my miu'he ourter be th' one to' do th' charity act. 'Sides, he's a lady's man, an' a talker from way back." Billy made some remonstrances, but was finally prevailed upon to undertake the commission, and, hanging his six shooter and belt ou the fence, he ,1 ."t the tloor. A feeble voice said: "Come in." Pushing the door open, ho stood irresolute upon the threshold. The light in the room was dim, and he could indistinctly see a figure streched on a low couch in the farther corner. "Will you come in, sir?" said the same feeble, gentle voice; then as Billy stepped in with some embarrass ment she continued, "What is your er rand, sir?" He tried to think of a means by which he could delicately and accept ably deliver his message of charity, but finding none he was obliged to make known his errand as Bimply as possible, trusting to the inspiration of tho mo ment to help him out. "You are a widow, are you not?" he asked. "Yes," sho replied, raising herself hastily on one elbow as he spoke. "You must forgive a stronger, madam, for coming to you with so little ceremony and asking such a question, but the truth is, I—we—" "Tell me, sir," she interrupted, "do you live in this part of the country ? Are you a cowboy from one of the ranches? Excuse me, I am partly blind." "Yes," he said, "I live here and I am a cowboy." "How long have you been following this occupotion ? How long have you been in Colorado? You were not born in the West, I know, for you have neither the speech nor manners of the people. Where did you come from ? Tell me, I implore you." Billy looked at the form dimly out lined before him in blank astonish ment. "Why, madam, I'm perfectly will ing to tell you. My home was in New Haven, Conn., God bless it, and I came West eight years ago. Since then I have met with many varied ex periences. I've tasted the sweetness of prosperity and the bitterness of ad versity. About a year ago I had a comfortablo sum of money and was preparing to return to the East, when by an unhappy speculation Host it all; then I drifted into my present situa tion. But I mean to accomplish some thing before I go home again to my dear old mother," There wasacharm iug youthful ring of hopefulness in his voice which his eight years of trying experiences had failed to obliterate. The widow dropped back on her couch and was perfectly still. "But I am forgetting my errand," continued Billy. "My friends and I have brought you a little offering, which I hope will be acceptable. It should be, for it is a present from the good church-members of the village, who beg you will accept it with their compliments." Ho advanced * ■> the side of the couch and bent down to place the contents of his hat in her lap. As ho did so a ray of light stole through the half-closed blinds and fell upon the woman's face. "My God!" He started back poler than his companion, while the hat dropped heavily to the floor. The next moment he was kneeling beside the couch clasping tho wasted form iu his strong young arms, his frame shaken by violent sobs. "Willys, dear Willys, I havo been seeking you all over the West for the last five yeurs. Thank God, oh, thank Him a thousand times that I have found you at last." In the meantime his companions out side were becoming impatient. "Wonder what's keepiu' th' feller so long," said one of them; "ho could a gave the widder th' money a hundred times over during th' time he's been in there." "I should think he could. Tell you what. I'll just creep aroun't' th' win der 'n' see what he's up t'." said Spot, suiting the action to tho words. Drop ping on his knees, he cautiously peered through the half-closed blinds. Tho next moment he had fallen backward, and was soon hastening to his com rades with a curious expression on his face. "Well, what's up, Spot?" he was asked. "I du' know," replied Spot, scratch ing his head' " 'pears like Billy's gone and got mashed on th' widder. He's down on his kneeß 'fore th' bed a-hold in* her in his arms." A hearty laugh went round the crowd. At that moment Billy ap peared at the door with his sombrero pulled well down over his eyes. "Boys," he stammered, and the strong man's lips quivered—"boys there's an old lady inside who wants to know my friends. Come in. It's my mother." —Tho Californium England's Plowed Land Diminished. During tho last twenty years the area of land in England under tho plow has diminished by very nearly 2,000,000 acres, or over fourteen per cent. The amount of arable land in Wales has diminished twenty-one per cent, in the same period. In Scotland, on the contrary, it has increased by 78,000 acres. This difference is partly explained by the relatively large areas of land in Scotland retained under clover and rotation grasses, more thun one-third of tho whole cultivated area. In England the proportion of culti vated laud so occupied is little more than one-tenth of tho whole.—Chicago Herald. _ To Locate Metals in Flesh. An electrical instrument has recently been invented which is sufficiently deli cate to detect the presence of one eighth of an inch of steel or iron wire at a distance of six inches from itself. It is intended for use in locating small pieces of magnetizable .metal, such as needles, tacks, steel and iron chips, etc., that may have entered tho human body unawares and hidden themselves in the skin or deeper tissues. It will probably prove to be of great service where the ordinary methods of detect ing the presence of foreign metallic substances are ineffective and unreli able.—American Farmer, Terms—ll.oo in Advance; 51.25 after Three Months. FEMETS IN NEW YORK, j OVER A THOUSAND OF THEM IN USE IN THE CITT. They Orlve Away Rats - Harmless us Kittens When They Are Not Hun gry--Their Habits. ~| T'ERBETS aro becoming popular I—/ as pets in many of the big J business houses of New York, (i and in houses in the city and suburbs. It is not necessarily the ferocious little animal it is supposed to bo when it is brought up amid quiet surroundings and is fed regularly every day. Its fighting qualities, however, whon attacked by tho big rats that are brought to this port from South America, are shown to great advantage. There is no pluckier little fighter in the animal kingdom. It is estimated that- over 1000 ferrets are owned or hired by the proprietors of big buildings in New York and Brooklyn that have been infested with rats. These animals, which have been trained carefully to do their work, will answer a call or a whistle the same as a faithful dog, and will not leave a build ing in which they have been placed until taken away. They are affection ate little animals and appreciate good treatment. The ferret's original home was in Africa, and some come from Kentucky, but many of the ferrets now in New York have a pedigree that runs back to the importation of ferrets from Ireland nearly a quarter of a century ago, and have been raised not far from New York. They breed twice a year, from one to ten at a time. The mother resents the handling of her young. If one of them is touched when it is only a few days old, she will at onco devour it. From seven to ten years is the or dinary life of the ferret, but after five years' existence it becomes stupid, passing most of the time in sleep, and is no longer useful or interesting. In order to be valuable in ridding a building of rats the ferret is trained not to catch the rats, but only to drive them away. The ferret's presence is soon detected by the rats, and unless the latter are particularly large nnd vicious they will scamper off iu rhort order. The use of ferrets to chuse rabbits out of holes is well known, al though it is against the law in this State. Many ferrets, however, rre sold from Thanksgiving to Christmas, and after the ferret has routed out the rabbit from a hole a fox terrier out side does the rest. If a ferret, in tho course of training, persists in biting rats it becomes necessary to muzzle it or cut its teeth. The reason is that ferrets do their best work on a com paratively empty stomach and if one of them ate a rut it would make it so sluggish it wouldn't do any work for three days. Trained ferrets bring $7.50 a piece, and untrained ones $2.50. "The details of the training of fer rets," said B. Isaacson, who lias been truining these little animals for a gen eration, "are, in a measure, a business secret, nnd 110 two persons train them in precisely the same way. But I will tell you about one good method. Put some rats in a cage in a room and then turn the ferret loose iu the room and don't give him anything to eat until he finds tho rats. He will soon learn 011 what his meals depend. These ferrets here answer as I call their names, and are glad to see me. The best of the three, the dark one with brown eyes and very bushy tail, and the two light colored ones with pink eyes, are as gentle as pet cats or rabbits, and any child may play with them without the slightest danger, especially after they liavo been fed. If they have not eateD anything for a number of hours pre paratory to setting out 011 a ratting ex pedition, they may snap a stranger's lingers placed near them, but they do not give a poisonous or painful bito. If the teeth closed on a linger, they would let go at once on pinching the bottom of one of their feet, which are very sensitive." Ferrets are quite blind in the day time, but are guided swiftly und ac curately by their keen sense of smell. When they are attacked by the big newer rats they quickly get a fntal hold ;uid exhaust the life blood of their as sailants. Then they will eat tho brains of the rata if not called off. On one occasion, Mr. Isaacsm used six ferrets to rid a vessel of a large colony of rats, some of which ranged from a pound to a pound and a halt' in weight, and were big onough to look like small rab bits. About 100 rats showed fight against the six ferrets, who pluckily kept their ground for a time and killed at least a dozen rats, but they would havo been overpowered if reinforce ments had not come to their rescue. After the rats were scattered, the fer rets succeeded in driving them from the ship.—New York News. Amcricnn Students in France. There are from 1500 to 2000 Amer ican students in France, homo of these are working to perfect themselves in tho language, some are studying vocal music, some architecture anil a fow sculpture, but the majority aro working at the easel. The schools and studios of Paris are open to the wbolo world, and, with a few exceptions, even the prizes of the grand Salon an? ac cessible to foreign students. The art student may connect himself with a private school, or, if his drawings are satisfactory, he may obtc-in i'dmis»ion to l'Ecole des Beaux Arts. In the Ju lian schools a work-room is furnished in which the student can work for a certain number of hours each day, and can have tho-best of art.stic criticism twice a week for about Ave dollars a month.—Public Opinion. Tho Pennsylvania Hospital, in Phila delphia, is the oldest hospital in the United States. It was built in 1755, NO. 35. "HOW DID YOU REST LAST NIGHTiT" "How did you rest last night?" I've heard my gran'pap %»y Them words a thousand times—that's right— Jee' them words thataway! As punetchul-like as mornin' dast To ever heave in eight. Gran'pap 'ud alius half toast— "How did you rest, last night?" TJs young-uns used to grin At breakfast, on the sly, And mock the wobble of his chin And eyebrows helt so high And kind. "How did you rest lust night?" We'd mumble an' let on Our voices trembled, and our sight < Was dim, and hearin' gone. . • ••••* Bad as I used to be, All I'm a-wantln' is Jt-Xl As puoro and oa'm a sleep fer mo -•$ And sweet a sleep ns his ! And so I pray, on Jedgement Day To wake, axfd with its light See his face dawn, and hear him say— "How did you rest, last nighty" —J. Whitcomb Riley, in AtlantaOonstitutiun. HUMOR OF THE TTAY. <_• Small talk—"Yes" and "No." A lump eum—Damages for a club bing. Whatever one's lot in life, he should have good deeds to show for it.—-Phila delphia Times. We never knew a man so good that his wife didn't often say : "Oh, pa !" —Atchison Globe. When a man finds a woman that there is nothing too good for, he wants her to take him.—Galveston News. It wasn't until woman started into improve her mathematics that she be gan to count for much. —Troy Press. Said tho hen, "Thoughts expressed In slang will not do. But it must be confessed, I am laying for you." —Washington Star. "I will now write something in a light and airy vein," said the clerk who makes out gas bills.—Washington Star. Don't offer to bet with an elevator boy unless you mean business. He has a way of taking you up.—Buffalo Courier. He—"No, they don't pay me more than lam worth." She—"How in.the world do you manage to live on it?"— Funny Folks. Singers must bo particular about their diet. This is owing to the closo relation between their board and their timbre."—Binghamton Leader. Life is real, life is earnest. But It might be more sublime ■ If a man were not kept busy .V. Bodging microbes all the time. —Washington Star. Treebag—"Did .Toblots leave liny last request?" Humplate—"Yes; he wanted the funeral procession to drive around by the way of the ball grounds." —P. &S. Bulletin. Nervous Passenger—"Are you sure there is no danger?" Officer—"Nat a bit. The Captain's just gone to take a nap, because it's too foggy to see any thing."—P. & S. Bulletin. Probably tho first cooking school product on record is tho famous pie whose four and twenty black birds were so done that they began to sing as soon as it was opened.—Washington Star. Burleigh—"lt's my opinion that Brown hasn't half the brains he thinks he has." Wagleigh—"Probably not; but did you ever think how nicely he could get along with even less than that?"— Detroit Tribune. Nervous Passenger (011 New Haven steamer) —"There's a very peculiar noise in the water to-night. Do you notice it, Captain?" Captain—"Yes, madame ; that's the reg'lar Long Island Sound."—New York Mercury. If in search of 11 name that's bound to be lucky. Lot the next buttle ship bo eallod the Ken tucky, For it's sure that her guns would do t<_rrible slaughter. And though shot full of holes she would novel take water. —Chicago Record. Cumso (to Tlireds) — "Not counting you, how many clerks are there in this store who can't tell the truth?" Threde (highly indignant)—" Sir!" Cumso— "Oh, well, don't bo cross about it. How many are there; counting you, then ?" A Permanency: A young countrywo man iu Burgundy, writing to the parents of a little girl whom she has in charge, wound up her letter in this affectionate strain : "I remain, with respect, mon sieur and madame, your wet nurse for life."—Le Phure du Nord. In a Picture Gallery: A—"That's a newly married couple." B—"How do you know?" A—"He is always step ping on her dress." B—"What does that prove?" A—"After ho has beeu married some time and found out what a dress costs, he will be more careful." —Fliegende Blaetter. She—"Do you love me ns much as when wo first became engaged?" He—"As much? Why, my darling, I love you a thousand times more." She (anxiously)—"l don't know, George, I wish I were sure of that." He—"Yon can be, dear. Just think of all I have invested in you."—Brooklyn Life. Live Chameleons for Ornaments. The importation of live chameleons from Florida is becoming quite the fashionable thing with returning tourists. A gentleman who reached New York last week after a two months' sojourn in Florida says that almost all of the women coming home from the winter resorts in that State bring with them from two to a dozen of the little creepers with variegated colors. In some cases the chameleons are attached to tiny gold chains and worn as personal ornaments. —New York Times.