SULLIVAN JSIFE REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY. Publisher. VOL. XI. So many people starve to death in Lon don that few coses attract much atten tion. Seventy per ceut. of the people of Ceylon live by agriculture. The per centage iu Britain is 15.44. According to the Iron Age, steel beams for building purposes are at pres ent cheaper than heavy pine beams. Tho annexation movement seems to be making progress in Canada, and it hic's fair to become a very live issue in a short time. "Fertilized farming" is very much the fashion just now among progressive farmers in the Eastern States who are working worn soils. New Zealanders are protesting against the annexation of the Hawaiian Islands by the United States, because that would give this country complete control of the proposed Pacific cable front America to Australia. Tho people cf the Samoan Islands havo not only supported the churches aud ministers iu their own islands, states the New York Observer, but last year they sent S9OOO to London to help send tho Gospel to other lauds. A Wisconsiu paper, after describing a farm which the advertiser wants to sell, adds: "The surrounding country is the most beautiful the God of Nature ever made. The scenery is celestial—divine; also two wagons to sell, and a yoke ol steers," The Chicago Herald thinks it will in terest those who buy Indiau and Mexi can silver filigree work ou the trains in New Mexico and Arizona to know that many of these fragile curios are manu factured bv a firm of people in the street called Maiden Lane, iu the City of New York. In Germany 200,000 families are sup ported from the cire of tho forests, upon which about £40,000,00J is expended anuually, 3,000,000 people more finding employment in the various wood indus tries of tho Empire. The forest account shows un annual profit of between $5,- 000,000 aud iji6,OOO,OOTT. Tho London News says; "There was a time when all foreign eggs in this country were known as 'French eggs.' Now, thauks to improved methods of transport they cotnc to us from a variety of countries. The annual import, ac cording to the latest official returns, reaches the enormous number of nearly 1,300,000,000, valued at $1,250,000. France ant! Germany still furnish more than one-half of tho whole." The San Francisco Chrcnicle thinks that "very few of the schemes haviug for their object tlie defrauding cf life insuraucc compauies succeed, because the wouldbe swindlers play for too high stakes. When a corporation is called upon to turu over fifty or sixty thousand in cold cash it usually studies the situa tion carefully with a view to finding a hole to crawl out of, and if there is one in sight it is tolerably sure to Jiscover it." ______________ The Legislature of Illinois considered a bill whose object is to prevent people from losiug their lives by the guu which he did not know was loaded. The biil makes it unlawful and punishab'c by a heavy fine for any person over the age of ten years, "with or without malice, pur posely to aim any firearm, loaded or emp ty, at or towards any person or persons." It is a good law, comments the New Or leans Picayune, aud if all thu States iu the country should pass a similar one it might save a good many lives, for scarce a day passes but souic fool with a guu that be did not know was louded blows off somebody's head. Such people are seldom punished, ignorance und luck of intentiou being accepted as a sufficient excuse for their most criminal careless ness. Of tho nine aud u quarter inillious of our foreign-born citizeus, 1,571,000 am to bo found iu the State of New York. In no other State does the number ap proach this. In I'enusylvania there are 846,000, iu Illinois 842,000, and in Massachusetts (157,000. The smallest proportion of foreign-born citizens is found iu thi South and bordei States, the South Atlautic divisiou having only about 208,000, aud the South Central division 322,000. Thu North Atlautic division, includiuif the six New England States, with New Vork, Now Jersey aud Pennsylvania, has 3,838,000, tho North Central division 4,000,000, and the Wosteru division, including States nnd Territories west of tho Rocky Mountains, 771,000. This shows that, notwith standing the large number of foreign boru citizeus in New York aud Massa chusetts, the North Central division, In cluding Ohio and tho States of the northern border, wi»h Missouri, Kansas and the two Dakotas, is in the lead. A -ONO OF FAREWELL, Ye happy birds, ob, whither flying? So swift ye wing away 1 scarce can mark your trailing pinions. Does there a warmer day Await on other shores. To your glad summons quick replying? Oh, linger yet awbile! Ye carry The summer on your wing: Too long will winter seem without you, Too tardy coming, spring. But melody of song In warmer climee delights to tarry. Alasl we may not more entreat you, Wnen bluer skies await; When other birds wilf carol welcomes, And tales of joy relate. We can but pray, sweet friends. That no harsh storniß will ever meet you. And so—away I—far out of seeing Into the heaven high; Leaving no mark save that of music Ou earth and sea and sky; No sweeter song than made By your light pinions southward fleeing. —-Edith Vernon Minn, in the Century. ALL A MISTAKE. BY AMY RANDOLPH. 1 BETTY Miss Frank Middle -fl S- worth was all nloue in her little district school -1 I rootn w ben the I eventful letter ',Y'yj arrived, to notify \ her t ' iat £ he was yA F7]vappointed to a yM ( « clerkship in the Jißr "Canceling Depart • mcut of the Patent Q Office, at Washington—all alone, eating her modest little lunch of bread and butter and baked pears, while, through the opeu wiudow, she could sec the children disporting themselves in the March winds, and hear the music o< their merry shouts. If school had been in session, she would decorously have read the letter and replaced it in its envelope. As it was, she flung it rapturous to the ceiling with a cry of joy, caught it again and, springing to her feet, clapped her hands like a child. "Oh, thank goodness—thank good ness!" she exclaimed ecstatically. "It will all be right now! Papa can goto the South right away. Will can have his school outfit, and we can pay Squire Augur all the back rent that has been owing for a yearl Ob, it was so good of Judge Mellen to interest himself iu my poor little atlairsl lam so glad that I thought of writing to him!" Miss Middleworth Could hardly con duct the district school to the end of its afternoon session, so joyfully disquieted was her mind. "Teacher's ih love," said the biggest girl in a whisper to the next biggest girl. "Guess teacher's got au invite to singing school," muttered the next big gest girl, who was in hopeless despair over an interest sum on her slate. How gladly Miss FranK Middleworth locked the battered scboolhousc door at last 1 How rapidly she walked home ward! She was almost vexed at meet ing Reginald Augur at the cross-road, by the old stone mill. Ilis face brightened up at sight of her. "Oh, Frank!" said ho. "I was just wishing to see you!" The "govcrnment clerk-elect," drew herself up. Mr. Augur need not have been so familiar with her, sho thought! "Indeed?" she uttered somewhat frig idly. Honest Reginald looked rather puz zled. "My cousin, Mrs. Evolyn, wauts a gov erness," said she. "The family is small, and she's willing to pay tive hundred dollars a year. And you know you have always wunted togo tho city." "Yes, I know," said Miss Middle worth, with chilling iudi(Terence. "But I have changed my mind." Reginald Augur looked at her in amaze ment. "Frank," he said, "have I offended you?" "Oh, no," said sho. "How should you ofTend me! But—l am appointed to au oflice in Washington. I am to have eleven hundred dollars a year." "And leave us, Frank?" he exclaimed. She bit her lip. "One cannot always stay in the same place like a crooked apple-tree or a lim pet growing to the rock,"said she. "But, Frank, listen to me!" pleaded Mr. Augur. "I am to commence the practice of law ou my own account next mouth. My father will receive me into equal partnership, and then—" "1 am very happy to hear it," said Mis.i Middleworth, absently. "And then," persisted Reginald, "1 •hall be able to marry. And if—" "Yes?" Frauk lifteJ her eyebrows, provokingly cuough. "I hope you will get a very nood wife. I am sure you will both have my best wishes." Young Augur's frank, boyish fr.ca fell. "I had hopod—" ho began, a little awkwardly. "Suioly, 1 caunot bo at ail interested in your hopes," interrupted Miss Middle worth. "Let me puss, please. I'm in a great hurry today." Reginald Augur stood aside, with a sharp paug at his huart. He had loved Frauk Middleworth ever since he could remember. He had always installed her, as queeu, ill nil the visionary caitles iu the uir which he had built within his own brain. And here she had abdicat ed of her own free wilt aud flung his offering away. Frauk, borin your application to liim!" "Why, 'Fnnk Middleworth,' of course," answered the girl. "What else should I sign myself?" The chief clerk shrugged his'shoul ders. "Just look at that handwriting," said he, nodding toward the card. "llow on earth is one to suppose that a woman wrote that) It's the moct natural mis take in tho world. Has the judge ever seen you?" "No," admitted Frank; "but ho was an old college friend of my father, and—" "Plain as daylight," said the chief clerk—"plain as daylight. lie, also, took it for granted that you weroa! man." "And am I to lose this opportunity in . life because I happen to bo a woman!" cried Frank. "Is this rightf li it t just?" "Very sorry, indeed," said the chief clerk. "But we can't do anything for 1 you just at present. We employ so few wo.neu in the Patent Office; and none at 1 all in this department. It's au unalter able rule." "Is there no chanso (or met" pleaded Frank. "None at all," said the chief clerk. And withiu five minutes the office in question was bestowed upon the uephew of the bald-headed man, who chanced to bo a famous ward politicion. Miss Middleworth betook hcrsel.' sor rowfully to thu little New Hampshire village. "I suppose they havo found another teacher tor the district school by this time," she thought. "What can Ido to support myself and— and to pay for this clonk and hat? Oh, I wish I had uoi been so foolishly extravagant? And I suppose Reginald will uever speak to ine again. I'm sure I dou't deserve tiiat he should." "Never mino, dear," said tue good old su|>eratinuaiod clergyman. "My cough is a deal better since you went away. And 1 believe I aiu as well off hern as in Florida. And Will cau wait another year for his schooling, and mother can get along quite well with the housework as lonif as she has you to help her." So Frank was, in some degree at least, coinforteu. Hut tli-) flush of acute mortification mounted into her cheek the next day, as she met Mr. Itegiuald Augur iu the street. "Mr. Augur?" she murmured softly. "I would prefer being called, Heg innld," he smiled. • • Vuur father is one of the school true- tees," she began. "Do you suppose he could get me a place to teach again!" "But I thought you were going to Washington!" ho cried. "I have been to Washington," said Frank. And she told the whole story, thereby drinking the bitter cup of discomfiture to the very dregs. "And now," she concluded, with eyes brimming over with tears, "I don't know what to do. Only—only I must entreat your pardon for my silly and and foolish conduct the last time we met." "Oh, I have nover given that a second thought," said Augur. "But, Frank will you let me goon now with what I had then begun to say?" "Yes," said Miss Middleworth, hang ing down her head. "Dear Frank," he said, taking bet hand, "will you be my wife? I can give vou a comfortable borne now. Perhaps, by and by, it will be a luxurious one. And all your dear ones are fully welcome to its shelter if only you will accept it." Frank began to cry heartily now. "Not because I am sorry," said she. "Oh, no, no I Only because lam so happy. And indeed, Reginald, Ido not deserve to be your wife." But she married him, for all that. And she was very happy. But if there is any topic in particular that she especially avoids it is that of public office in Wash in gton City. "Such a stupid series oi mistakes as there was all around!" she says.—New York Ledger. A Queer Quaker -Trareler. A curious looking, white haired old man, arrayed in a peculiar garb, with a black choker and broad brimmed hat, is at the Occidental Hotel. The old gen tleman is Isaac Sharp of Warwickshire, England, a Quaker and a religious en thusiast. He is now eighty-four years old and for fifty years he has been travel ing in various parts of the world, aud this in the interest of the Quakers. He has just now returned from 1500 miles up the great Yang-tse-kiang River in the interior of China. Hitherto he has been in Iceland, Greenland, Labra dor, Norway, and in various other places in Europe, Asia and Africa. In the Dark Continent he visited the Congo Free State, the Orange Free State, Basu toland and Madagascar. "I spent a year and a half in Africa," said he, "a year of which was in Mada gascar; two years in Australia and New Zealand, and the remainder of six and a quarter years in Canada, the United States and Mexico. That was the extent of my last trip before this. This time I have been out a long time also, my great object being to visit the interior of China and do what I could t'.iere. "It's only a very little that I could do, there are so many millions of people there, but I have trie! at least, and that is something. The people are very poor up the Yany-tse kiang River. That stream, which is much larger than the Mississippi, is a mile and a half wide 1000 miles up. It is rough from there on, and I think in the additional 500 miles I saw the wrecks of 500 Chinose junks. "The Quakers have one mission in China, one in Japau, four in India, one in Syria and one in Madagascar. There may be 15,000 Quakers now in Great Britain and Ireland, which is somewhere about one-fourth of what there are in tho United States and Canada. Elsewhere we have a few members who ure doing all they can for Christianity. "I have been traveling and trying to find out what was the best thing to do and how to do it. I have seen n-.auy curious things in my loug years of travel, but the thing which has impressed me more than anything else is this: That the hearts of the people are everywhere the same. I go now to the east, to the strongholds of the Quaker* in Pennsyl vania, where I will talk to the people of what I have seen and confer with them as to tho bestmeaus of reaching the peo plo in China and elsewhere in the Orient."—San Francisco Examiner. Making Diamonds. The microscopic diamonds recently uindo by M. Henri Moissan are not the first real diamonds made by the chemist. Some years ago, Mr. Hannay, of Glas gow, succeeded in making a few small gems, and another Glasgow chemist not loug ago announced in au American scientific journal that he wo* making ex periment* in thi* direction, and had ob tained promising results. Moissan, how ever, was the first to form a gem by means of the high temperature of the electric furnace, though the idea of doing so is uot exactly novel. Moissan obtain* a temperature of from 3000 to 4000 de grees Ceutigrade is his electric cruc ible, and fuses Iron or silver, which ab sorbs the carbon of sugar. When the fused metal cools, part of the carbon separates from it again in the form of crystals, black or white—that is to say, black diamond, or carbouado, aud ordi nary clear diamond. The crystallization seeius to be facilitated by pressure, which is produced by the expansion of the sugar carbon as it cool*. The diamond crys tal* were exceedingly minute, aud quite unfit for jewelry. Moreover, the process is very ex|>ensive. —Manchester Times. A Bedspread lor the World's Pair. The famous cotton apiuuer* of Man chester, England, Mesar*. Barlow Jt Jones, have prepared a Leautiful exhibit of towels, spread* and other products of the loom for allowing at Chicago. In cluded i* a spread, or quilt as it is called over there, which is the Columbian cel ebration quilt. In the centre are the *tri|>es and the thirteen star*, represent ing the several State* of America, inter mixed with palm leave*. In the border aie the eagle, the arm* of Itabella and Ferdinand, and in oue corner those of the State of lllinoia, the cotton plant flouring conspicuously In the dMign, which i* of a fawn tint on white. The "Windsor Castle" and the "Km pire" quilts also figure in the eahibiUou. —New York Times. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Rome, Italy, is to be illuminated by electricity generated twenty miles away by a cascade at Tiber. Professor Simmands ot Hamburg has shown by experiments that flies can in fect eatables, and especially sauces, with cholera germs. A man at Riverside, Fla., recently succeeded in extracting from eighteen pounds of orange peel oil in proportion of fifty pounds to one ton of peel. Considered as a luminary, the sun has an intrinsic lustre between three and four times greater than that of the electric light, when the latter is at its brightest. Musical and dramatic entertainments are given each week at the Blooming dale Insane Asylum, New York City, and the physicians consider them very beneficial to the patients. Several French railway lines are going to light their carriages with the electric light, "as it has been found perfectly practical to make and store electricity by means of a mechanical attachment to the engine." The order has been given that all the portraits taken in British prisons, as records of crimes aud criminals, shall for the future be printed only on platinum paper, the object being to secure their permanency. A method of signalling from balloons has been devised by an Englishman, which consists in connecting a number of electric lamps in a balloon to the earth by means of a special form of flexi ble cable. Current can then be supplied the lamps from the ground through the cable and they can be lighted or ex tinguished by a switch located on the ground. The advantage of this system over the older forms of war signalling balloons is that a small and readily por table balloon can be used, as it carries no car and all it is called upon to raise is simply the weight of the lamps and the attached cab!c. White bread and fine flour are named by Sir James Crichton Browne as one of the causes of the increase of dental caries. Failing to eat as large proportions of bran as our ancestors did, we are de prived to a large degree of the fluorine which they contain. The enamel of the teeth has more fluorine, in the form of fluoride of calcium, than any other part ot the body. Fluorine might, indeed, be regarded as the characteristic chem ical constituent of this structure, tho hardest of all animal tissue; hence a sup ply of fluorine, while the development of the teeth is proceeding, is essential to the proper formation of the enamol, and any deficiency in this respect must result in thin and inferior enamel. Social Life in Persia. Social life in Persia has its unique features and odd phrases to one accus tomed only to the life as Europeaus and Americans. Excepting in the family circle and the places of worship tho pres ence of woman is unknown as a feature of the association. The men live a sort of club life. They ride, walk, gossip and gamble by themselves alone. Tho men often spend days away from home in feasting and sport. In like manner the women have the company of women only. But while the ladies are fond of dress and free with their money wheu they have any, they are not troubled much with the changes of the fashions. These are the same during centuries. Custom prescribes for tho ladies a cos tumo to be worn in the street ami mosque and church; it consists of overalls and a large wrap or mantle called a chadtn; both are of a dark blue cotton fabric. One object of the costume is to obliterate all distinctions between the rich and poor in apparel. Iu this all women look alike excepting only the different appearance in stature. As a result no man can know his wife or sister on the street or in a public place. Since the chadm covers the head it docs away with the hat or bonnet. luexorablo cus tom requires this covering, aud no na tive woman would venture to appear in public without it. Tue gentlemen, how ever, gratify their own personal taste in dress to the extent of their means of do ing so.—New York Advertiser. Wonder* ot the Uc*i Colorado desert. He had camped mid way betweeu the Seventeen Palm Springs, which is about twenty miles out, ami the Fish Soriu?*, some 25) feet below the sea level. From there he could traco for miles on the mount thi side the line of a former sea, tho portion that was below the water bein.» of a dull gray- From Fish Springs he traveled three mile* to the base of a mountain, and ouud that instead of corroding li ne, the almost perpendicular rock was of solid coral forinatiou, 200 feet high, fol lowing ragged lines, fllliug crevices au 1 liniug a cave with a spectacle of uiag niAceuce. The cave, fifty feet high by twenty-six leet wide, of cor al liniug, is hardly touched by time, In a little bay between two jagged point* of the rocks, the beach outline* are atill distinct above the coral formation. Little cove* are cut in the rocks as evidences of shel > ter for Indians, while from them run in distinct trails upward.—San Frauciscj Chronicle. The Milan Cathedral. The cathedral of Milau, which I* re garded by many as the tinsst rhurch structure in Kuro|ie, and therefore in the world, with the siugle exception ol Si, Peter's, at Rome, has several era-lis in the roof of its main nave, which are slowly widening, and it is feared threaten the collaose of the entire roof. The work of building this c* t bed ml was begun Iu 1386, more than 50 0 years ago, and it is not yet entirely completed, It is to be hoped it will not fall down from old age befwe it is finished.w^liice^t# Terms—sl.oo in AdYance; 51.25 after Three Months. ETHNOLOGY AT THE FAIR: HIGH RESULTS OF TWO YBABS* WORK IN THE WESTERN WORLD. One Hundred Assistants of Proteeeor Putnam Make Collections From Greenland to Tterra del Fuego. PURING the past two years many arcbceological and ethnological researches have been carried on all over the western world to collect material for the Chicago World's Fair. The work ha 9 been re markably successful. It has been in charge of Professor Putnsm, of the Pea body Museum, Cambridge, and about 100 assistants have carried out tho nec essary researches in the field. In his re cent report on the Peabody Museum, Professor Putnam gives a summary of the results of the work that has covered a more extensive field of the anthropolog ical research than was ever covered be fore in two years. Professor Putoam mentions first among the results, the collections brought back by Lieutenant Peary from the little tribe of Eskimos in the Whale Sound region of Greenland. A member ol the party is about togo to Chicago from this city for tho purpose of arrang ing the collections which will represent Lieutenant Peary's work at the big Fair. The specimens include summer houses of skins, Eskimo boats, sledges, weapons, implements, utensils, ornaments, full sets of their garments, carvings in ivory, and also several hundred photographs of individuals of the tribe and scenes il lustrating their daily life. There will also be a complete census of tho tribe, several crania, and a full set of anthropo logical measurements and observations. The World's Fair is also to have tho benefit of an Eskimo settlement. The Skiles expedition to Labrador brought back fifty-seven natives of that country, who will occupy au Eskimo village on the Fair grounds with all their belong ings until the Fair is over. Doctor Sheldon Jackson has been making large ethnological collections in Alaska, and among the coast tribes of Siberia, and Mr. Cherry has made a long journey up the Yukon Valley to collect specimens illustrating tho life and handi work of the Yukon tribes. Seven other assutants have been forming collections umong the coast tribes between the Columbia River and Alaska, and par ticularly in northeru Vancouver and tho Queen Charlotte Islands. The interior tribes of Canada will all have living representatives on tho Fair grounds by permission of the Canadian Commissioner of Canadian Affairs. T.io Canadian Pair Commission has exerted itself to secure au excellent representa tion of the arcboi tlogy of Canada. Nearly all the Indian'tribes of the United States have beeu visited by students from Harvard anil other universities for the purpose of collecting ethnological material and data relating to the physical characteristics of the tribes. The Com missioners of this State have assisted Professor Putnam to secure a large arch teological collection anil a complote rep resentation of the Iroquois tribes. Families from these tribes will live on the Expositson grounds in bark houses, Buch as were in use when this powerful Nation first came into contact with our race. A good many interesting things con nected with the period of Cortcz have beeu found in Mexico and will be seen at the Fair. The ancient ruins of Yucatan have been specially explored by Consul E. 11. Thompson. He made about 10,000 square feet of moulds of portious of tho ruined buildings, showing the facades, parts of corners of structuree, the door ways and other features. He slso moulded both sides of the famous portal at Labna. Casts have been mado from these moulds, and there will be seeu on the Exposition grounds fac-similes of these elaborately carved stoie struc tures of Yucatan, over and around which will be the tropical plants native to thu region of the ruins. An expedition was sent to Honduras to study the ancient ruins of Copan, aud though the work has not beeu com pleted, many interesting and important objects, illustrating wonderful carving* in stono, fragments of pottery, numerous ornament* of stone, aholls and bone, stone iuiplemeuts, and toon, havo beeu secured. Further south G. A. Horsey made extensive explorations iu Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia, where he collected a large amouut of this material. Lieuten ants Sagord aud Welles secured mauy series of garments, weapon* and o'.hei object* Illustrating tho tribes of parts of the interior of South America. Even Patagonia aud Tierra del Fuego haw been drawn upon for collections. In the United State* the archie > logical work of the past two yetrs will bo fully repre»ente 1. Ancient village site«, burial places, aud workshop* or quarrie* have been brought to light In the Delaware Valley ami csrefully ttudied. Similar fruitful researches havo been made on Cape Cod, iu Connecticut, along the An droscoggin, and in many other place*. Two singular burial place* were fouud in the Androscoggin Valley, iu which the grave* were so old that the skeleton* had entirely disappeared, leaving in tho grave* only masses of red ochre and im plements and other object* of *tou*. Doctor Fran* DIM and hi* assistant* have prepared a presentation of Ibe physi cal characteristics of tho native American l»eopte*. Measurement* h«ve also been taken ami observations made of more than 50,000 children In the public school* ol the United States and Canada, as well a* In the Indian school* and of many colored children. The co -operation of the authorities in Jajmuete aud Hawaiian schools was alto secured, and we Ihu* have the meeaureiteuls of Japanese and Kanaka children for c •iu,i*ri*»u. Titer* I* no doubt that the elhnolo gloat feature* of tbe World's Fair will be among the most Interesting etliibit*. No such collections illuples has ever before been made in any international ethibtUoe.-«> New Ye*K Hun. NO. 32. ■YOU. The Chinaman praiseth his T*s, The mandarin praise th his Q. The gardener praieeth his turnips and Va, But I praise TJ. The mariner loveth the (7s, The bllllardist loveth his Q, The husbandman loveth his cattle and But I love 0. The foolish have need of the 7s, y The actor needeth his Q, The pilot hath need of two excellent IX But I need U. The hunters seeketh the J*s, The shepherd seeketh his U; The oollege boys seek their dual "B-A's," But ICQ. —St. Nicholas. HUMOR OF THE DAT. A curious woman—One who is not.— Life. A hollow mockery—The woodland echo.—Truth. A force pump—The cross-examining attorney.—Truth. A limn of the law—Painting the de fendant black.—Truth. It is only in school that low grades make uphill work.—Chicago Inter- Ocean. Nature covers herself with a plaster of mud to cure that tired feeling in the spring.—Puck. Some men aie too mean to be happy and others too happy to be mean.— Dansvilte (N. Y.) Breeze. "Who is to be chaperon!" "Mrs. Talkington." "What foolishnessl Why, she is a sufferer from insomnia." "I wonder why she gave him the mit ten!" "Oh, that was natural outcome of the yarns he gavo her!"—Truth. When a man is ''beside himself" he generally demonstrates that he doesn't like the company.—Boston Courier. When a woman is trying to write a letter on a half sheet of paper, much may be said on both Bides.—Texas Sitt ings. If a woman can succeed in making her husband proud of her she can get almost anything she wants.—Dallas News. A carpet tack is about the only thing that has the "big head" and still makes a success ol life.—Dansville (N. Y.) Breeze. Where's the profit when spring makes us happy and gay if it make all the microbes feel just the same way!— Washington Star. The woman of limited means who if always well dressed either devotes her entire income or her tntire intellect to her clothes.'—Life. Mabel—"l wouldn't marry the best man in the world." Jacques—"Alas, you have made me the un happiest of men."—Boston Courier. Every mau thinks that modesty for bids his telling you what he couslders the cleverest thin'/ in the way of a story ever tnld.—Washington Star. Many a woman who resolves when she is married to make over her husband, ends by being content to make over her bonnets.—Dansville (Jt. Y.) Breeze. And now with rod ami line and book, The fisherman go bold, Will go and sit down by the brook Ana catcb a fearful old. —Kiusas City Journal. "I haven't any of the liquid quality that musicians talk about," said the bass drum, "but I can drown out the rest of the band, just the same."—Washington Star. Mrs. B.yer—"Thoso are nico looking eggs." Grocer (enthusiastically)— " Yes, indeed; they're birds!" And then he wondered wby she didn't buy any.— Troy Press. "It's curious," mused Bjorkins, "how this law of compensation runs through everything. Fot example, wherever there is a well ofl aunt you will always find a sychophant."—Chicago Tribune. "So I should make you very happy by accepting you, count!" "Happy ? Ah, mademoiselle, I should dio wis sie hap piness." "Ke*lly, count? You almost tempt me to say 'Yes' "—Brooklyn Life. The pen is mightier thin tbe sword. This maxim let wise people hurl. But take them together and they are no match For one pretty typewriter girl. —Chicagol n ter-Ooean. At a Dinner Party: Mistress—"But, Mary, how often must I tell you always to serve on tbe leftt" Mary (from tin country)— " Oil, madam, but isn't thai raeiely a supentitlon."—Fligen de Blaet ter. "Well, Councillor, T hope you en joyed yourself at nty house last evening." "Indeed I did, inadamc. As a rile, when I drink tea I can not sleep after It, but your tea hail not tbe least effect oa uie.Flieyeude Blaetter. Hawker—"My wife and I had it out again this luoruiuif as to who should start the fire." Jepson—" Which wont" Hawker—"Neither. Before we finished the argument became so hot my wife got up and cooked breakfast on it."—Troy i'rsse. Mrs. Greyoeck— "tilo George is #»• Cgedl" Mr*. Tangletouaue— '• Yea; 'II be married iu June." Mr». Urey neck— "I hope be ha* a young lady ia every way worthy of him." MM. Tangle tongue—"Oh, yea; I think I can safely say thai I am satisried in every way with tiki tU»co. M —Button I'ourior. A I'l qa« Ke.iJia* Clafc. A new rlwli for reading and the en couragement •>! good literature la the Half Hour Club. Its uieiulters Pledge thettuelvea to read half an hour eaeh lay, with the eicMptiou of a two week*' holi day in the year. A "lae of one real mark* eaeh day'* loaa In reading. The proceeds of the flue* are de»ot»l to tbe purchase of puses for the a»«*t Industri ous and nosi capable readers. ~ Boston Journal. Klee was introduced fresu the M ladies la KM.