SULLIVAN JSSfa REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY, Publisher. VOL. XI. More than 700 lives of Columbus have been written in various languages. I A daily paper can be sent from any part of tho United States to Stanley Falls, ID Africa, 1000 miles beyond Stanley Pool, for four cents. The report by cable that defects In the new Russian made rifles will defei for three years the rearming of the in fantry, seems, to the New York Sun, if true, to be out of sight tho most signifi« cant item of news received from Europe in many months. Within six years Idaho has come to be a great fruit raising country, and is com peting sharply with California in the Eastern markets. Last year the Orcgou Short Line handled carload lots of ap ples, peaches, pears, prunes and grapes for Denver and Omaha. The American Farmer states that the American wool grower has a home mar ket for every pound of wool he produces. About sixty-nine per cent, of the wool manufactured in the United States is home grown, aud the remaining forty one per cent, is foreign wool. 1 In some parts of the West Democrats who become Populists aie called "Demo pops" and "Popocrats," while Republi cans who desert to the Populists go by the name of "Poplicaus." Wnen they want a new word in the West, observes the Chicago Herald, they don't hesitate at anything. After an existence of twenty-four years "Lorua Doone" Ims been repub lished in London in the original three volume form. This event is said to be entirely unprecedented in the history of novels in England, and illustrates tho great popularity of the book, the suc cess of which, to quote Mr. Blackmore's own worus, "is a paradox. ' Now York is the only State that allows an uncle to marry his neice, de clares the Chicago Herald. In Florida and Georgia mairiage is prohibited within the "Levitical degree;" these are set forth in Leviticus xviii., aud forbid marriages of nephews and aunts, but seemingly not of i and nieces. No European country considers such a mar riage lawful. The Canadian Architect seusibly sug gests that in building brick houses in positions where they are not protected by surroundiug property, not to forget that hollow walls will add greatly to the con venience of the occupiers. They will render the house cooler in summer and warmer in the winter, and will assist in materially keeping the house dry. The cost of hollow walls is only very little higher than that of walls built solid. The Eisteru Shore of Miry land has been besought to give India the sweet potato for a food for the ofteu famiue stricken millions of many East India Provinces. E. B. Francis, Director of Lands in the Punjaub, has written to a Mr. Bennett, of Accoinac Couut.y, ask ing for "roots well packed," as it is de sired to introduce that vegetable iuto India, in the iiopc that soil aud climate there will be found peculiarly favorably to it. W. B. Burt, of Saginaw, Mich., has suddenly become wealthy on au un earned increment. Some years ago he bought a tract of timber land in St. Louis County, Minnesota, aud receutly dis covered that forty acres of the tract is covered with an immense and very rich deposit of iron ore. There are said to be 10,000,000 tons in sight, and it is so ac cessible that it can be taken out with a steam shovel. He has leased the mining rights at rates that will fetch him s3i)o,- 000 year. Tho Cnicogo Tribune says that there were recorded in this country in 1592 no less than 3800 suicides in the United States as compared with 3331 in 1891, 2640 in 189J and 2224 in 1889. "To suggest haphazard a reason for so serious an increase would be folly," commeuts the New York Observer. "The figures are ah rming and call for au investiga tion. A fifty per cent, increase in the Dumber of suicides within three years seems incredible. If the figures are sup ported by facts, we cauuot too soon seek for the cause. Science is pressing relentlessly on the heels of the microbe, notes the Chicago News Record: "The latest method ot coping with this minute but potent source of disease is to literally cast it out of the abiding place in wh c'i it has installed itself. Micro organisms con tain substances for the most part heavier than water, and this fact has led to the introduction of a method of separating them from waler, milk and other liquids by centrifugal force. A speed of about 4000 revolutions a minute serves to clear a large number of microbes from the liquid and reader it liinpid." OUR ANC.Vt-S. We love to think they linzer with us still, That when our souls are full of longings deep. They oome about us at their own sw&H will And steal into our being, soft as sleep. Shall they not come whose sympathies were ours. The friends we loved most tenderly and true— Whose graves are fresh with spring's first offered flowers And benedictions of the summer dew? We long have kept the chambers of our hearts Garnished and swept with sacred care for them, And memory hoardp, as year by year departs. Their love and friendship as a precious gem. We may not see them with our mortal vision, Nor hear the music they have just begun; Still they may come to speak of fields Elysian, Or guide us to them when our work is done. Spirits intangible—we know they cornel When our life tumults for a moment cease; They speik to us, although their lips are dumb, And the great silence has a cry of peace. 0 tender are the words of Christ, that fl )at Full argosies of love on time's wide sea More musical thin Israfili's note, More loving than a mother's lullaby— More beautiful than any facj or form, Dearer than fame or love's divine behest— Sweeter than sunshine after days of storm Are their still voices from a land of rest. These are our angels—flesh and blood no more, As ere we laid them in our kindred earth; And yet our souls may reach them gone before, And gather strength from beings of new birth. These are our angels, for love cannot die, Nor yet in heaven its tender lips bj dumb— Our heralds; who will watch, and fondly cry In the great presence, "Lo, our friends, they come I' —Boston Journal. TWO HIGHWAYMEN. HT. GEORGE E. WAI.SU. lotaon, the driver, kept his as if he was a part of the vehicle itself, and with every motion of the coach his body moved with sinuous gracefulness. "Steady now, boys, steady," he shouted to the double team of plunging horsts. "We want to make good time, but 'twont do to smash the company's conch to pieces. Wlioa, now! We ain't got no load this time, but that ain't no reason for bein' reckless. Look out for the Devil's Cut, it's rough there. Ye'll stumble yerself. Git up there. I told ye so." He jerked one of the stumbling horses to his feet so suddenly that the animal was scarcely aware of his fall; but the speed of the wild, galloping team was checked by the slight mishap. "That'll bring ye to your senses if any thin . Now take it easier. Don't be smashin' things to pieces so. Ye'll get enough of it when ye reach the level. Yc'ie the most determined critters that 1 ever drew line behind, nn' ef ye don't break your necks some day on thc3e slopes I'm missin' my guess. Ef we had some passengers inside they'd be scared half out of their wit 3. But we ain't. No, nothin' but gold, and lots of it." The driver jerked his head around and looked at the big, square box, which contained the preeious treasure of the company. It was a common looking box, but strongly riveted and bound. It was close up to the driver so that he could touch it with his feet. "A mighty big sum," he muttered aloud, "an' a putty responsible load lor one man to guard. Thousands of dol lars, I s'pose. If some fellers only knew it they'd be holdm' me up 'round here. It would be worth the risk. But then Ben Tillotson has never yet been caught nappiu', an' there ain't many who would care to try him. It would be dangerous. Yes, sir, it would." He tapped his heavy revolvers as he spoke and glanced defiantly around him. The coach had nearly reached the valley, and was rolling along at an easier gait. "Ha! ha! what an idee," suddenly laughed Ben loudly. "Hold up myself. That would be great, right here in this dark canyon, an' then tell 'em a man robbed the coach. No lie 'bou f , that. They'd believe it, for I've always been so trustworthy. Well, well, I could chuck the box into the bushes an' come back for it later." The idea seemed to please the driver, : and be smiled broadly as he continued to ' think of it. "There would be plenty of ways out ! of it. The box would never be found j here, an' Ben Tillotson would be rich. 1 guess then Mandy Duyval wouldn't look at that Harry Someis no longer. She'd take me quicker'n a wink. He's not good enough for her, but she thinks everything of him. I never did like his looks. He comes from some place that nobody knows anything 'bout. He's got • better position than I have, an' Mandy thinks more of him for that. How this money wculd set me up I I could make a LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1893. splurge that would astonish some of 'cm. "l'wouldn't be bad, either. I've worked for the company nigh unto ten years, an' they ain't lost a cent by me. It ain't a losin' bargain for 'em. They're made me. But then think ol the shame I No, sir, git up there, boys, we must hurry." He snapped his long whip in the air and urged the horses on into break-neck pace. The rumbling of the heavy wheels soon brought the man back to his reflective mood. "But how easily I could work the game," he mused a«ain. -'An' nobody would be the better for it. Right ahead in the canyon I could chuck the box in the hollow, an' all would be done. They'd send out scoutin' parties, but no body would find it. Then months later I'd come for it." Once more the horses slowed down to a gentle trot, and the sturdy driver fidgeted the box with his foot. The spell of temptation nearly conquered. The hidiag place was near at hand. The horses stopped as if by iustinct; but this very fact startled the man. "No, no. What uils met Git up, ye brutes, what aro ye stoppin' for? I wasn't goin' to do anything. I was only thinkin' how it might bo done. Qit up I" He was nervous and excited, glancing around him many times. "Piiaw I' I'm superstitious," he ex claimed with a laugh. "Who do I think will see me here. There ain't nothin' to be afraid of. I'll just stop to quiet my nerves. Whoa, there 1" The stage-coacli came to a dead halt. Ben Tillotson jumped down from his high seat and walked up to the heads of the animals. "A mighty lonely place. Nobody in twenty miles of me—and five, six or seven thousand dollars in gold. Maybe there's more. Let me see how heavy the | box is. Ay, but that is heavy! ! Shouldn't wonder ef there was more | probably ten thousand dollars—all gold. I wonder ef I could lift it. Yes, an' throw it in the bushes. Easy as can be. Held up by highwaymen, nice story, two bullets in the clothe?, and one through the hat. Ha? ha! hi! I'll try it, yes —no. Hey—what!" A stone rolled down the side of the canyon wall, and the man looked up ner vously. It was only a grey squirrel, but the bead like eyes were watching him intently. "What am I doin' t " the man mut tered, with the cold perspiration run ning down his face. "Bobbin', stealio' —an ordinary highwayman. Henvens! ! Grit up here! Hurry, boys, or I'll go ■ crazy." | The coach seemed to rush along at I lightning speed. The heavy box fell i back to its original position, but the ' driver's hands trembled so that he could hardly hold the reins. Down the cauyon horses and driver rolled in a cloud of dust. The man saw nothing around him, and the whisperings of his own consciance shut out every external sound. The horses followed the road by instinct, and that alouc saved the coach from entire destruction. Paster and faster he urged the plunging animals for.vard until the limit of their speed was reached. They rushed a sudden curve with their fl inks reekicg with white foam, and tiieu they came to a standstill so suddenly that Ben Tillotson barely retained his seat. "Hands up! Hands up, quick!" Was he dreaming, or was his brain turning? Was his mind still dwelling upon the old idea, or was he held up in earnest? Mechanically, however, he raised bis hands, and when his befoxged brain was clear enough to understand his position he realize 1 that a heavy Win chester was scaring him in the face. "Don't move, old man, orye'lldie," the masked highwayman said, calmly. "Ye'se caught this time. Hand over the box quick. Hands up!" The rifle moved threateningly nearer, and Ben bad nothing to do but obey. He had never been caught before, and the thought of delivering his treasure to a highwayman roused all of bis latent cunning and courage. "Here ye are. Get hold of it. I must hold the horses." "Never miud the horses. Shove the box toward me." Ben obeyed. He pushed the box slowly along with his feet. He could see that the man was green at the busi ness, and he waited for his opportunity. When the box was close to the tiighway man the rifle was lowered for an instant. Ben was within three feet of it, and with a sudden spring he caught the barrel of it in his left hand. "Hold up, stranger; I hsve the drop this time," he calmly said, producing a revolver and holding it within a foot of the man's head. "Curses on ye," camo from behind the mask. "Drop that rifle, and hold up your hands. Drop it, I say, or you'll go into eternity Aithout warnin'." The man reluctantly obeyed. He could do nothing else under the circu n stances. "Now off with that mask. No; I'll take it olf myself." The highwayman sou'ht to catch the mask, but Ben tore it off with ole sweep of bis band, holding the revolver tight in bis right. "Harry Somers!" he gasped. The two men gazed at each other for several moments. The uncovered high wayman was pale, and Ben Tillotson trembled at the sudden revelation. The penalty of such a crime was desth, and the driver would be justified in shooting his rival without a word of warning. On the other hand, if he showed a mag nanimous spirit, and forced him, at the point of his revolver, to accompany him to the nearest point of civilization, he would be strung up at the first tree. The choice ol deaths was not encourag ing. " Well, what are you goin' to do with me?" the captured man asked in a voice that was intended to be brave. "You have me in your power an' my life is yours, I s'pose. 1 could have shot you before, but I couldn't commit murder. You can shoot me, an' nobody will call it murder. It will be justice. Or you can take mo to toe town an' hare my body grace a tree. Mandy Duyval will be there, au' she'll rejoice with you at the sight." At the mention of his sweetheart's name Ben started. The man's harsh laugh grated horribly on his n«rves< Would Mandy think more of him if he brought bis rival to justice? Justice? Had he not just attempted the same crime, and been prevented only by the sudden awakening of his fear and con science! Was not he as guilty as Harry Somers of highway robbery? The thought of his undected crime made his hand tremble, and the beads of perspira tion started out upon his forehead. "Come, what are you waitin' fur? Don't keep me uucertain like this. Shoot away, or let mo get up alongside of you. I'll go peacefully. All's up with me, anyway." Ben still kept him covered with his revolver, but his mind was so agitated that his man could easily have escaped. The words of Harry brought him to his senses, and he murmured aloud: "Do with you—what am I goin' to do? Well, let me see. You ain't bad at heart, Harry, ar' this is your first of fence. You didn't mean to be bad— you jes' yielded to temptation, same's I did—an' then—well, you got caught, an* I didn't. You ain't no worse than I am. Dot What am I goin' to do with you? Well, nothin'—not a thing. Come, get up nlonj. side of me an' ride to the town. I ain't got nothin' ag'in you, an' the Lor.l knows 1 wouldn't hurt any oae unjustly. Come, are you going with me?" Ben had withdrawn his revolver and placed it in hany has over 500,000 second-hand barrels at its Point View Oil Works, in Philadelphia, where they are refitted by a large num ber of cojpers. The barrels are gathsrei up in all parts of the Old World and brought across tho Atlantic to be used for fur ther shipment. At the shops in this country they are renewed with hoops and broken staves, and then glued and filled witn reHned oil for tho home m»r ket. Formerly sccond-haud barrels were used the secon I time for export shipments, but in the la«t fow years all those that arc brought back empty are afterward used in tha domestic trade. There are now several large vessels on the way across, loaded with empty oil barrels. Besides these there are thousands of second-hand barrels gath ered up in all parts of this country. Some are brought here and others are seat to the refinery in Cleveland, but the bulk is taken to the Eastern oil works. The export as well as the import transportation of refined oil is mostly all in tank c.irs and in tank vessels over the ocean. The transportation os the refined oil from here is getting less every day. The average is not more than 200 barrels a day, and this is nearly all taken away in bulk. All the new oil barrels that are made around here are turned out at the Workhouse and they are all taken to the Beaver Creek Kelinery.—New York Telegram. Came Back an served that the vessel's course changed about four points in as many minutes My curiosity was aroused to know tlif cause of the change, and as the Captain was then descending from the bridge, I asked the reasoa for the sudden divcr gence. "Don't say anything about it to thi rest of the passengers," he answered, "but just come to the bridge with me.'" I accompanied him, and wheD we reached that point of observation he di rected my attention to a series of dark clouds in the direction whence we had turned. The nearest of them was not more than four or five miles away; it was a tall pillar of cloud extending from the sea to the sky, aod as I looked at it with a glass it was easy to observe that the sea at the base of the pillar was violently agitated. All arouod was a calm; there was hardly a breath of air stirring, so that the appearaoce of the sea at the base of the pillar of cloud was rendered more noticeable than if a storm had been raging or even a strong wind blowing. "A waterspout!" I exclaimed, as my eye took io the scene; "there's no mis taking that." "No," answered the Captaiu, "and there's more of them to keep thit big fellow company. We want to steer clear of 'em, and that's why I've changed our course." Then I asked the Captain as to his theory of waterspouts and their origin. "I've had a good many theories," he replied, "but some of 'em have been knocked in the head and I'm not alto gether sure about tho rest. One thing I'm pretty certain of, though, and that is that the waterspout at sea is just the same as the whirlwind ou land; there is a whirling wind or perhaps there are two winds blowing in opposite or nearly opposite directions coming together, aad these make up the whirls and eddies that raise clouds of dust on land and sometimes do a vast deal of damage. A waterspout is caused oy a whirlwind and that's why the sea at the base of that pillar of cloud is agitated, as you see it. "There is a popular belief," he con tinued, "that the sea is sucked up by the cloud and grtfat masses of it go hun dreds of feet into the air. I use Ito be lieve so and my belief was confirmed by the stories of sailors who declared that large fishes had dropped from the clouds where they had been carried by the waterspouts. They had seen them with their own eyes, and one sailor thit I knew told me of boing on a whale ship which was close to a waterspout when a whale dropped from the clouds into the ocean. The creature was so stunned and astonished that he lay motionless on the water after lie struck; they got out the boats and secured him, and he yielded eighty-nine barrels of oil." "What led you to doubt the truth of the stoty that the sea is sucked up by the waterspout?'' I asked. "My own observations," he answered, "added to what I learned from scientific works on the subject. Tne water that falls from the sky, or from the cloud at the top of the waterspout, is always fresh, which would not be the case if the sea was drawn upon in tho way the sailors describe. "The whale that was taken up, accord ing to the story of my old friend, could not live in fresh water; neither could the other fishes that they tell about. A lit tle of the spray from the broken waves may be taken up, and that is all. I haven't much fear of a waterspout as long as I'm in a steamer, but in a sailing ship the case is different. I've been be calmed with waterspouts all around us, aud sometimes you'll see them coming directly towards /ou, and there's no chance of getting out of the way such as you have in a steamer. Toe oid idea of getting rid of a dangerous waterspout was to fire a cannon at it aud break it, but this isn't much thought of at pres ent, though I suppose that it is done now and theu. It takes a skillful gunner to send a shot through the centre of a waterspout, and it's just possible that the thing breaks up of its own notion without any regard to the shooting at it. The idea is that if anything touches the spout it breaks up and a deluge of water comes down; for that reason a ship that is touched by one is in danger of beiag swamped by the downpour of water, which is the same as a cloudburst on land. "Several times in my life I have been dangerously near to fellows like those we're looking at, and once I was swamped by one of them. Perhaps you don't know,"he added, "that cyclones, typhoons and hurricanes are practically the same sort of thing and that they blow iu circles. When a Captain finds himself in one of them and has plenty of sea room he tries to get as far as possible from the centre, where the wind is great est, and to do this he turns and runs at right angles to the wind. In the south ern hemisphere the course of rotation is like that of the hands of a watch, from left to right, but in the northern hemi sphere it is in the other direction."—St. Louis Star-Sayings. A Sea (.'a pi a ins Keeipe For I*l um Duff. Put your flour in the pan. You waut some sc.iir dough. Lat it rise. Stir in some baking powder, according to how much you make, so much for a quart, and so much for a pint. You waut a bag to put it in; an old stocking is better. Put the plums on the bottom of the bag. Cook it tilt done. Have the steward put the emi with plums next the captain, and the end without plums next the mate,—Boston Transcript. Terms—sl.oo in Advance; 51.25 after Three Montha. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Southern factories are making paper from palmetto.. Liebig, the chemist, says the human body is composed of air condonsed and uncondensed. It is said that men faint less frequently than women because their imagination is slower of actioo than it is with the fair sex. The extent of the oscillation of tall chimneys may be exactly taken by a close observation of the shadows they cast OD the ground. The incandescent light is a yellow light just as gas is, and colors cannot be de tected by it any better than they can by ordinary gas or lamp light. A slit ia a piece of paper, even though it be not more than one forty-thousandth of an inch in width, is sufficient to transmit light to the human eye. Oo many of the railways in Germany the practice of starting locomotive fires with gas instead of wood has been adopted and proves economical. White or "Irish" potatoes are now used extensively in the maoufacture of buttons. By means of certain acids po tatoes can be hardened to almost the re sistance of stone. It is aseerted that waterproof sheets of paper, gummed aud hydraulically com pressed, make a material as durable as leather foi the soles of shoes. It also makes serviceable horseshoes. A. special commission at Toulon, France, has decided against the use of petroleum as fuel on torpedo boats. Out of ten cans of petroleum experimented upon eight, became ignited, from per cussion after twelve shot had been fired upon armor plate protecting them. The lungs will contain about one gal lon of air at their usual degree of infla tion. We breathe on an average 1200 times per hour, inhale 610 gallons of air, or 24,000 per day. The aggregate sur face of the air cells of the lungs exceeds 20,000 square inches, an area very nearly equal the floor of a room twelve feet square. A law has been enacted in Ontario, Canada, forbidding the spraying or sprinkling of fruit trees while they are ia bloom with any mixture containing Paris green or other substances poisonous or injurious to bees. Toe object of the legislation ia to protect the bees from harm, the honey from possible taint of poisoning, and to avoid possible obstacles to complete fertilization of the fruit. A remarkable discovery in the domain of medical science is reported from Vienna. Doctor K. L. Scleich claims that the results obtained by the use of chloroform aud cocaine may be secured by subcutaneous injections of a solution of sugar or salt, or evcu of simple cold distilled water, while the ill effects that sometimes follow applications of tho former are avoided. This claim, it is as serted, is based upon a series of experi ments, and some medical authorities are said to be satisfied of the genuineness of the claim. The assertion that the temperature of the earth increases about oue degree for every sixty feet as we descend into it is not true for all localities. In some shafts sunk in mines the increase is one degree for every twenty feet, while in others it is not more than one in a hundred, show ing that there is no uniformity in the temperature of the earth's crust. The Making of Scissor?. Though no complexities are involved in the making of scissors, or much skill required, yet the process ot manufacture is very interesting. They are forged from good bar steel heated to redness, each blade being cut off with sufficient metal to form the shank, or that des tined to become the cutting part and bow, or that which later on is fashioned into the holding portion. For the bow a small hole is punched, and this is afterward expanded to tho required size by hammering it on a conical anvil, after which both shank and bow are filed into a more perfect shape and the hole boied in the middle for the rivet. The blades are next ground and the handles made smooth and burnished with oil and emery, after which the pairs are fitted together and tested as to their ea«y working. They are not yet finished, however. They have to undergo hard ening and tempering and be again ad justed, after which they are finally put together again aud polished tor toe third time. In comparing the edges of knives and scissors it will be noticed, of course, that the latter are not in any way so sharply ground as the former, and that, in cutting, scissors crush and bruise more than knives. lnventive Age. The Tree. There is but one spot in the world where the bergainot treo can be culti vated with profit—a fact of some import ance, since its essence is indispensable iu the manufacture of numerous perfumes and medical preparations. The spot referred to is Reggio, in Calabria, that extremity of the Italian peninsula which is familiarly known as the "toe of the boot." Mr. Kerrich suggests that there is a good chance hero for enterprising capitalists of getting a highly profitable monopoly of the bergamot tree by buying up from the producers all that they ex tract. At present the Reggio bergamot suffers both in quality and reputation through the frauds of small traders, who, it is said, mix it with ten parts of adulterating matter.—Chicago Tribune. Styles in Canine Monrnin?. Traveling up Fifth avenue a few days ago was a woman dressed in deep mourn • ine. With her was a beautiful greyhound with long streamers of black ribboa at tached to his collar. If the woman was in mourning for her husband he must have had hard work to coupeal a smile as he gazed down on a ludicrous picture of this canine, decked out in yards of black ribbon. I suppose when the stage of scmi-mourniug comes the dog will be arrayed in purple.—New York Herald. NO. 29. WHERE ARE THE SPRINOS Of V LONCAOOr Come near, 0 sua—O south wind, blow. And be the winter's captives freed; Where are the springs of long ago? Vj . Drive under ground the lingering snow, ' i And up the greensward legions lead; Come near, O sun—O south wind, blow I Are these the skies we used to know? The budding woo I,the freeh-blown mead? Come near, O sun—O south win<', blowl The breathing furrow will we sow. And patient wait the pstient seed; "i Come near, O sun— O iouth wind, blowl The grain of vanished years will grow; Bnt not the vanished years, indeedl Where are the springs of long ago? With sodden leafage, lying low Toey for remembrance faintly plead! Come near, O sun— O south wind, blow! W here are the springs of long ago? —Edith M. Thomas. nUMOR OF THE DAT. Humbug—Bumble bees. Buy words—How much? A shining light—Jupiter. A spokesman—The wheelwright. \ A pronounced failure—Stuttering. Room for improvement—The gym nasium.—Truth. "I am willing enough to work," said young Steer, "but I can't find anybody to work."—Elmira Gazette. Cholly—"What kind of a balance has me wawtsch?" Jeweler—"Probably an unpaid one."—Jeweler's Weekly. George—"l thought yoa were study ing oil wells in the West." Fred—"Ob, I gave it up; it was such a bore, you know. "—Exchange. Criticus (looking at a picture of the impressionist)—"lf that's high art, then I'm an idiot." Cynicus—"Well, that is high art."—Tid-bits. Extreme loquaciousness seldom goes witu an airof prosperity. The more a man talks through his hat the shabbier it gets.—Washington Star. Crinoline or cholera, -t Which one will it bo To sweep the western continent In eighteen ninety-three? --Detroit Free Press. She—"Really, now, aren't you a married man?" He—"No. Why?" She —"Oh, you have such a settled look." He—"Yes, I've been refused by thirteen girls." Doctor—"l really believe you have some kind of poison in your system." Patient (Gloomily)—"I shouldn't won der. What was that last stuff you gave me?"— Judy. A—"Hello, old chapi Congratula tions! I hear you have married a lady with an independent fortune 1" B—"No; I married a fortune with an independent lady."—Vogue. Oaggs "What are you reading there?" Scaggs—"The story of 'She Who Must lie Obeyed.'" Oaggs—"Oh, yes; the romance of a hired girl."— Soraerville Journal. Borker—"Spoodle has married a girl who knows half a dozen languages." Nagger—"Poor fellow, I pity him I My wife only knows one language, and I find that one too many." Love peeped into tho cottage, Aud the building seeme.t all But a scanty tupply of pottage Made him quickly take his night. —Truth. Parisian (to intimato friend) —"I have brought the no?el you asked me to lend you, but, as you are not fond of re turning books, I will take back a couple of yours as hostages."—L'Echo Francais. Family Physician—"Well, Mr. Ay ling, what is it now? Auy fresh trouble on hand?" Caller—"No, I don't think you could call it exactly a fresh trouble, Doctor. It's salt rheum."—Chicago Tribune. A stump orator wanted the wings of a bird, to fly to every village and hamlet in the broad land; bat he collapsed when a man in the crowd sang outj "You'd get shot for a goose before you flew a mile."—Tit-Bits. Miss Poet'que—"How dreamily de lightful is the soothing sound of old ocean's waves rolling up iu the moon light upon the silver sands'." Miss Prac tical—"Yes, I always did like to hear the water sloshing around on the beach." —Somerville Journal. Biggs—"You say your wife always pins a flower on your coat Lefore you leave home?" "Yes; she has for a month." Bisgs—"Well, it shows she thinks of you." "No; it's because she never can remember to sew on the but ton."—Chicago luter-Ojean. A man caugrow sad, melancholy, dys peptic, bilious, hollow eyed, pale, de jected, tired of life, cynical, cold blooded, repellant aud too dangerous to be at large, and still he will laugh to sec a fat man chasing a street car that is going three feet to his one.—Detroit Free Press. "Want to buy some of those apples?" inquired tho grocer's clerk. "To buy soine?" said the hopeless looking man near the barrel, with a dry sob. "No, I don't want to buy any; but if it doesn't cost too much I'd like 'to stand here a few minutes aud iudulge sparingly in smelling them."—Chicago Tribune. "Halloa, Mijor," said the Judge one morning; "i haven't seen you for a week; where have you been?" "Been home ill as anything," replied the Major. "Yoj! Why you were always as healthy as could be. What in the world made you ill?" "Well, I tried to follow some rules on health I saw in the paper."—Drake's Ma ;nzlne. Emperor William of Germany ha«, much to the disgust of his subjects, in augurated the pract'cj of having all the game killed at the imperial shooting parties sold for the highest possible price. Heretofore it has been customary for such of the gnme as was not required for the royal household, or for presents, to be giveu to charitable institutions.