SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY, Publisher. VOL. XI. The four great ocean routes employ 1100 steamship;. The output of the American factories for the past year was $7,215,- 000,000. Every State and Territory in the Unioh has an organized rnilitia except the Ter ritory of Utah. The number of foreigners who took up their residence in America last year was 543,4C7, of whom 118,278 came from Germany. What was once the heart of the Wiß - pine region is now importing thousands of feet of that timber from Washington Stale. General Schkopp, of the Gcrmau army, 6ays: "If his majesty draws his sword it will never return to its scabbard until his last enemy is crushed, or he, with his people, is overthrown." The increase of more than a million ot sheep in this country during the post year is more than matched by the in creased use of wool in producing woolen goods, which was 5'.), 000,000 pounds. >. ... ?—**^ The Chicago Mail estimates that the 8,000,000 people who are expected to visit Chicago during the World's Fair will expend while in that city not less than $200,000,000. This is an average of over $65 apiece. The New York Sua figures that if six men were to start on successive days from six American cities, and travel in a straight line around the world to the point of starting, the Chicago man would probably claim to have made the quick est time, while the Ohio man, if there was one,would be the first to arrive home; » but the distance traveled by all six, if added together, would fall 70,000 miles short of the railroad mileage of the United States, double tracks not counted. Should the Sandwich Islands really become part of the United States they will be the most picturesque feature of the Republic, d eel urea the Chicago Herald. They deserve the title "Flow ery Kingdom" perhaps even better than Japan, since flowers bloom on the islands all the year round, and are pecu liarly beloved by all the inhabitants. The foreign residents, and even transient visitors, catch the native fondness foi flowers, and at times people of all sorts go about garlanded with abundant blos soms. It occurred to the long-headed, pub lic-spirited citizens of Pennsylvania that the time had come to devise measures for the preservation of the forests of that State. Accordingly they procured the i introduction of a bill in the Legislature which provided for the appointment of a forestry commission whose duty it shall be "to examine and report on the con dition of the slopes and summits of the State and the pressnce or absence of forests thereon, for the purpose of de termining the influence on the stage of the water in the rivers, the amount of timber remaining standing and how the supply can be increased and maintained." The American Library Association, which has the co-operation of nearly all the great libraries of the country, will make a notable exhibit at the World's Fair. It will include samples, models, and photographs showing articles and mechanical devices in actual print ed matter, forms, blanks, constitutions, by-laws, rules for subscribers; accession departments and their management; cat alogue, classification and reference de partments; binding department, with samples of binding, temporary covers and receipts for restoring, mending and cleaning, shelf and building depart ments and an architectural exhibit show ing plans, elevations, perspectives and models of the best library buildings. There will also be a model library of 5000 volumes, selected from lists pre pared and sent in by the various librari ans of the country. It is related that a man who was writ ing a history of New York employed an expert to find out for him how many speculators in Wall street succeeded in the long run. After a laborious inves tigation the expert reported that the only Bingle instance which he could dis cover was a man from Rhode Island, named Smith, who had actually won $30,000 in a speculation in the street and carried the money away to specu late no more. It was the single bright instance in a long line of wrecks, adds the New Orleans Picayune, and was written down in the book to hand thi name of Smith down to immortality. Unluckily for his reputation, however, hardly was the book published before Smith turned up on the street and put his $30,000 into another speculation. He never heard of it again, and the sole in stance of a successful speculator was ruthlessly destroyed. England continues to increaso her ,rmed forco in Egypt, and France is .hereforc irate. The Protestant Episcopal Cathedral, 3t. John the Divine, in New York City, will cost 110,000,000. Vegetarianism is making great pro* rress in Berlin. The German capital low contains twenty vegetarian restaur ints which are largely patronized by the working people, clerks and students. In 1888 there were 43.94 square miles in Chicago. Now there are 181.70, and Rogers Park is soon to be annexed. The New York Recorder estimates that this will make as big an area as a Manhattan Island a hundred miles long. The police force of New York City numbers 3966 men, including the rank and file. The police force of Chicago is about 2700. The area of New York City is forty-six square miles. The area of Chicago is four times as groat. A long-suffering London journalist, whose nerves were no longer able to bear the noise made by putting fuel on the fire from a coal-box, recently gave vent to an earnest prayer that some inventor might be mercifully disposed to provide a silent coal-box for domestic sufferers like himself. A response to this appeal is now recorded by the Chicago News Record in the shape of an ordinary coal box lined with linoleum and falling on projecting rubbers, so that no slamming is possible. Even the shovel has its case lined with felt, and is, therefore, lifted out and replaced noiselessly. The timber used in the construction of the Chicago Exhibition buildings is estimated to exceed 75,000,000 feet, which represents the wood from ten square miles of forest. All the buildings are covered with a composition of plaster, cement and hemp, and the amount of this work is equal to covering the wall of a four-story building fifteen miles in length. The electric lighting will require 5000 arc and 93,000 incan descent lamps, which is about ten times as much electric lighting as the Paris Exhibition was provided with. The electric lighting plant has cost over $1,000,000. The Philadelphia Times say»: The growth of many of the textile industries during 1892 was marked. The summary of new mills for 1892 shows a total of 272, with a combined list of employes of 31,500. In other words assuming that none of the new textile mills were erected to replace those destroyed by fife or abandoned for other causes, 31,500 new employes were eet to work, and the productive textile capacity of the coun try was increased seven per cent. Au examination of the statistics showing the textile growth of the year reveal some interesting fact?, the first of which is that there were seventy-three new cotton mills employing 15,000 hnnds. The new cotton mills do not number one half the total of new mills erected, but the mills were of greater capacity than in any other branch of the textile trade, thus absorbing one-half of the new la bor employed. Massachusetts erected nineteen new cotton mills, employing 5775 hands. The next greatest in crease was in the South, North Carolina building sixteen new mills, employing 1835 new hands, South Carolina eleven new nulls, with 2040 emplcyes, Georgia five new mills, with 940 hands, and Ala bama four, with 740. New York and Pennsylvania built three new mills each. Connecticut two, and Illinois, Indiana, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Ver mont and West Virginia each one. There were forty-nine new woolen and ninety-three new knitting mills erected, the first employing 2500 and the second 7500 new bands. Massachusetts leads with eight, Maine follows with seven and Pennsylvania third with six new woolen mills. The South does not figure much in the new woolen industry, Kentucky with three and Missouri with two mills being the only Southern States represented. Of the ninety-three new knitting mills Pennsylvania furnishes thirty-two, or more than one-third; New York, twenty, and the rest distributed among twenty-two other States. Silk figures fourth in the list of new plants to the extent of twenty-one new mills, the majority of which are in New York, New Jeisey and Pennsylvania, with Paterson, N. J., as the center of the in dustry, both old and new. In the mis. cellaneous'list are six new plush mills, six making shoddy,seven cotton batting, *hree linen, three lace, two upholstery nd two gimp and dress trimming (all four in Philadelphia), and a scattering list, including dye, bleaching, jute,bag ging and a few others. New England, Pennsylvania and the South seem to be the most prosperous manufacturing sec tions, if the erection of new plants foi manufactures can be accepted at an in dex of prosperity. LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 31, 1893. JfOMK, The prince rides tip to the palace gates And his eyes with tears are dim, For be thinks of the beggar maiden sweet Who may never wed with him. For home is where the heart is. In dwelling great or small. And there's many a splendid palaoe That'/' never a home at all. The yeoman oomes to his little cot With a song when day Is done, For his dearie is standing in the door And his children to meet him run. For home is where the heart is, In dwelling great or small. An ! there's mauy a stately mansion That's never a home at all. Could I but live with my own sweetheart In a hut with sanded floor, I'd be richer far than a loveless man With fame and a golden store. For home is where the heart is, In dwelling great or small. And a cottage lighted by love light Is the dearest home of all. —George Horton. CUPID IN THE KITCHEN. BY MART KLYK DALLAS. (§£gS£SHE cook has given warning, and the .Sa K chambermaid Bays o I that, where Susan \ goes she goes like ' ( 112 wise." said Mrs. I Montgomery, in a / tone of despair, il' "And as I have just j '■ paid their wages I *• ) »a i they are packing to I ij" ij/ Wipjl go. What wicked, !j wicked women. Not a word of warning." LJgjmr; "Why, mammal what is the reason of this sudden deser tion?" queried Emily, the only daughter of the house, aged eighteen—and she laughed. "Your papa found fault with the beef last Sunday. Ah—there is nothiug to giggle over, I am sure," said the matron, dropping into a rocking chair "A week at the intelligence office for mc, while the house goes to wreck and ruin, and your papa loses his temper over the dinners, for old Mrs. Chump, the only person I can send for, always ruins every dish she touches." "And wc cannot have Mrs. Chump this time, mamma," said Emily. "She is in bed with rheumatism. I met her little niece iD the drug store buying medicines and lotions for her, and she said she was very bad.* "Then the end has come I" sigh&'l Mrs. Montgomery. "Don't fret, mamma, I'll do the work," said Emily. "I think it might be fun for awhile." "Do you?" Mrs. Montgomery tsked, sarcastically. "Ah!" Emily laughed again. "It's the best you can do," she said, "and I'll give papa a high tea; with ome lette and chicken sandwich, and all the little things he likes, and no doubt you can find some one to come to-morrow." "Oh, no doubt," said Mrs. Montgom ery, in still more sarcastic tones." I wish I had your sanguine temperament, Emily." "Good-bye, mum and miss," said cook, looking in at the door. "Good-bye, and I wish you luck suiting yourself, I'm suro. No doubt there is them that might if they had the patience of Job; not else." "Gooi-bye, ladies,"said the chamber maid; "I'm sorry to leave you, but Susan and me goes the two of us to gethei, always, and if she is insulted, I am likewise," "Good-bye," said Emily, calmly. Mrs. Montgomery turned her back, and muttered "Ungrateful wretches!" between her teeth. "And I actually made over my navy blue Bedford cord dress for that woman," she said, afterthedoor closed; "and never has she had to buy an apron. There, I'll go and begin my martyrdom —and, Emily, if you do go into the kit chen, put on my rubber gloves and my mob cap, that I wear for dusting my room—coal ashes are the ruin of the hair—and a big apron—your looks are my pride." * Emily kissed her mother, saw that she went off comfortably, and then obedient ly donned cap, gloves and apron, and descended to the kitchen. Cook, in her wrath, had left the kit chen in a state of chaos. Dishes piled high in the sink, towels on the floor, pots and kettles in sore need of scouring, overflowing tubs, a pan of potato peelings, a kettle of ashes —all by the way of revenge for the in sulting criticism of last Snnday's dinner. The prospect was alarming, but Miss Emily went to work with a will, finding it rather more difficult than in her inex perience she had supposed, and wishing that her mother had not so carefully guarded her delicacy at the expense of her usefulness in kitchen affairs. Just as she took her pots and kettles in hand. Jack Spinner, the millionaire's son, flying along upon his bicycle, came ▼ery near running into a young man who sat upon u curbstone, moaning piteously, and at once alighted. "Good hcaveusl I haven't hurt youS" he cried. "No, sir," replied the person ad dressed, who was enveloped in a mys terious waterproof costume, and covered lrom head to foot with ashes. "J. was clane dead when you came up. I've got the choleray or the typhus, I djnno which, and I'll lose my job, for I am able for it no longer, and there's no mercy on you if you neglect a thing, if it is ever so with you—no mercy." "That is very cruel," said young Spin ner, who had the tenderest heart in the world. "Is it that ash cart you are driving 1" "It is indeed," said the unfortunate. "And there is six bar'ls to empty yit, and me not able for it. I could drive back, but I couldn't lift the bar'ls." At home they called .Tack Don Quix pte, for he was always succoring some forlorn being in distress, maid or man it made no matter which. Now he in stantly bethought him what to do for this poor ash cart driver. "Come along," he said, taking the man by the arm and leading him into a drug store hard by. "I'll tell the doctor to see you, and cinpty the rest of the barrels for you—jolly fun for me, you know, and you'll keep your place, and all that." The man, petrified with astonishment, could only lift his hands, aod in a mo ment more a still more astonished drug clerk had a patient—well paid for in advance—and was dropping cholera mix ture into a glass, and applying mustard plasters, in the little back room behind the store. "Six more houses," said Jack, walk ing beside the cart, "straight down, the man said." He shouldered the first barrel and dumped it. A shower of ashes covered him, but he only laughed. Next came a sine can, quite elegant in appearance, but filled with decaying vegetables, and ornemented by the inanimate' forms of three murdered kittens. Mr. Jack gasped, but he intended to finish his work of charity now that he had begun it. And, with varied results, new experiences to him, the young ath iete emptied five barrels. On the sixth pavement he found none. What an ashman's duty was he did not know, but he had his invalid's interests at stake, and must do his best for him, so he descended the areaway and rang the bell. In a moment a girl in a mob cap, a big apron, and rubber gloves, opened the door. "Beg pardon, I am sure," said Jack, bowing, "but do you wish your ash barrel emptied?'' He spoke in the .most elegant manner, but he was covered'with ashes as with a garment; his mnstache was whitened, kis hands begrimed,.cinders adhered to his hair and his face doctor did be givin' me has made met a' new man, an' I'm forever obligod. And sorry I am you've spoiled the fitne«clothes you have on ye. And you'll find\your boy-suckle in the doctor's shop. iVe trounced the rascal that was goin'\off wid it to a jelly. I'll drive down, sir, and never forget your kindness., May you be Mayor of New York ydt." "Oh, you are welcome," said Jack, and now Emily wap staring at him. "Not the ashman)!" she was saying un der her breath, and\ Jack, laughing, an swered her glance. "My first ash-cart, >as this was your, first fire," he said. "Thedriver was ill, and I took his place. Itihas been great fun, though rather dirty work. May I introduce myself?" He took a card from his pocket and presented it. "I am Miss Montgomery," said Emily; "and I think my father must knowyours very well, if you are Mr. WilliamiSpin ner's son. They are in the same busi ness." 80 it proved. For special occasions who can say what the etiquette may be? Emily said to herself that it would be simply humane to help thisraartyr to his kindly sympathies out of his coat of ashes, and sent him to her brother's room to find clothes brush and wash basin. When he met her again she wore neither mob cap nor apron, but was at tired ia a pretty morning dress, and her hair curled bewitchingly on her fore head. And, since this was tbe son of her father's old friend, it seemed but hos pitable to ask him to lunch. Mamma 1 would not be at home, she waa quite alone. It was awfully improper—but i this latter point ueveroccurred to Emily, nor to Jack, and these two were both young and liked sweet things, and Jack declared that he had never had so de lightful a lunch before. It was a romance—which is different from a flirtation—that little episode, and it always remained in the memory of those two young people as the sweetest moment of their lives. When her mother returned, Emily wore cap, apron and gloves. The high tea was ready, and all the work accom plished, after a fashion, and the girl looked so pretty, so happy. "Cooking must agree with you," Mrs. Montgomery said. But Emily did not speak of tbe ama teur ashman, or her lunch party of two, until long after—oh, long, long after— for it was some days beforo Mr. Spinner called on the father, bringing his son with him—some weeks before they were asked to an afternoon tea—some months before Jack became an intimate friend of the family—and quite a year before his engagement to Miss Emily Montgomery was announced to his friends. And it was enly on the very eve of her wedding that Emily told her mother that Jack had fallen in love with her at first sight, and how and when and where. And Mrs. Montgomery declared that it would have been very, very shocking —frightfully imprudent—if it had been any one but Jack; but that made all the difference, Jack was such a nice fellow. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Rose diamonds are liable to explode. Some of the stars move with s veloc ity of nearly fifty miles a second. There are estimated to be over sis hundred deposits of iron ore in the State of Missouri. The origin of the geysers at Sonoma, Cal., is supposed to be a volcanic crater filled by a landslide. The moon gives out heat enough to affect the thermometer and make a dif ference of two or three degrees. If fish get beyond a certain depth in the sea they die from the pressure of the water, which they are unable to support. The most important domestic sources of potash are wood ashes, cotton seed hull ashes, tobacco dust and tobacco stems. Professor C. S. Sargent, of the Arnold Arboretum, Harvard University, has re turned from Japan, where he has been making a study of the botany of the islands. It is not an easy matter to freeze out trichinae. After subjection to a tem perature of twenty-five degrees below zero for two hours they again became active when exposed to light and heat. A simple method of keeping iron and steel from rusting is to coat them with a solution of rubber in benzol, made about the consistency of cream. It may be applied with a brush, and is easily rubbed off when desired. In one of the Comstock mines a new water wheel is to be placed which is to run 1150 revolutions a minute, and have a speed at its periphery of 10,805 feel per minute. A greater head of water than has ever before been applied to a wheel will be used. Interesting experiments on the sense of taste in ants have been made by H. Devaux. Among other results he has found that Lasius flavs, while fond of sugar, dislikes saccharine. The ants swarmed around sugar laid out for them, but turned away from saccharine as soon as they had tasted it. Even sugar be came unpleasant to them when it was mixed with saccharine. It seems, there fore, that sweetness is not the only quality which attracts them to sugar. It is very probable that, for health's sake, there will, after a time, be uni versal cremation of the dead in cities. Burying in the earth is said to be very inimical to the health of cities. Then there will be no ground to spare tor burial purposes in couise of time. It is probable that the dead will be quickly and effectually reduced to ashes by means of electricity. The remains of a human body that has been cremated weigh only eight ounces—no matter how fleshy and heavy the corpse may have been. A Kiiid-Hearted Giant's Embargo. A number of anecdotes have been told of late of tho famous old Kennebec lum berman, Bodfisb, whose stentorian voice resembled reverberating thunder and could be heard distinctly "from Ken dall's Mills bridge to Ticonic Falls," a distance of two miles. An old-timer says Bodfish, who lived at Kendalls Mills, though a rough man in his ways, had a kind heart and gave aid to many poor people he thought deserving. Once a river driver was drowned at Kendall Mills and Bodfish having subscribed s handsome sum himself to aid his family, mounted a barrel beside the street, from which he harangued the people in aid of the sufferers. He laid down the rule that no man should pass that day until he had contributed, and in that way held up travelers all day long, securing a con siderable amount by nightfall, when the odd embargo was raised.—Lewiston (Me.) Journal. Test For tho Parity of Milk. Whether it is worth while to know exactly the degree to which one's milk seller is watering his milk is an open question which each must deoide for himself. For those who do not consider that ignorance is always bliss a simple way of setting at rest any doubts ts to the purity of the milkman's stock In trade is provided in a new galactometer. The instruments ordinarily used for this purpose consist of a glass tube with a graduated scale of paper inside, and their record is not as a rule reliable. The new instrument is said to be much more accurate, and shows at a glance whether the milk is pure or adulterated. The instrument is a glass tube open at both ends, along which a little ball of blue glass acts as indicator. The density of this ball is 1029, and it is so adjusted that it can float only on pure milk.— 1 Chicago News Record. Terms —11.00 in Advance; 11.25 after Three Month*. THE BOOK OF ALL BOOKS. NOTHING THAI'S PRINTED CIRCU LATES LIKE THE BIBLE. Millions ot Copies GolnfcOut Into Alt Parts ot the World in Almost Every Known Tongme. SINCE 1804 the Bible societies alone, here and abroad, have distributed over 230,000,000 copies of the book. The American Bible Society, which is lext to the largest distributor of Bibles n the world,during the seventy six years >f its existence has issued over 55,000,- )00 copies of all or a portion of the Bi }le. The exact number is 55,531,908 The headquarters of the society and its presses are in the Bible House, in this jity. Last year this society priuted 450,900 Bibles, 370,705 Testaments, 141,400 portions of the Bible, and 682 Bibles for ihe blind, making a total of 713,687 vol lmes. Of these volumes 72,622 copies were sent to foreign lands. There were printed abroad for the society 18,923 Bibles, 38,190 Testaments and 249,919 portions of the Bible. The foreign presses of the American Bible Society are it Beirut, Constantinople, Bangkok, Bremen, Shanghai, Poo-chow and Yoko hama. The work of the foreign presses of the lociety at the different places was as fol lows. At Beirut, 6000 Bibles, 5000 Testa ments, and 22,000 portions in Arabic. At Constantinople, 5000 Bibles in Bulgarian, 5000 portions in Koordish, 4000 Testaments in ancient Armenian, 5000 Testaments and 3000 portions in modern Armenian, 5000 Testaments and 2500 portions in Turkish. At Bangkok, 39,509 portions in Siamese, and 2000 copies of the Gospel of Matthew in the Laos lauguage. At Bremen, 5000 Bibles and 10,500 Testaments iu German. At the China agency 189,398 volumes, partly in Shanghai and partly at Foo- Chow, including 1400 Mandarin Bibles, 5790 Testaments, and 156,000 portions in Mandarin, 21,960 portions in Soo- Chow colloquial, acd 1348 Bibles and 2900 Testaments in Foo-Chow col loquial. Enoch L. Fancher is President of the American Bible Society. There are auxiliary societies in almost every State and Territory iuthe Union. The society is unscetarian and sells all its publica tions at cost. It receives from sub scriptions and spends annually about $500,000 in printing the Scriptures, and through colporteurs and in every way in its power it energetically the Bible all over the earth. The British and Foreign Bible Society since 1804 has printed and distributed 127,855,581 volumes of the Scriptures; the National Bible Society, of Scotland, has distributed 12,710,390 copies; the Hibernian Bible Society, 4,968,450 copies; the Prussian Bible Society, 6,059,801 copies, and a hundred other Bible societies have for generations been swelling the total annual output. The American Bible Society has printed the Bible in the following tongues: English, Syriae (ancient), Welsh, Hyriac (modern). French. Arabic. (Meaopjta- French Basque (Pyr- mia), enees), Eoon (Marshall Isl- Spanish, ands), Catalau (Eastern Kusaien (Strong's Spain), Island), Portuguese, Gilbert Islands, Norwegian (In tier- fonape (Ascension man type), Island), Swedish (in German Mortiock, type), Hawaiian, Finnish (in German Zulu, type), Beuga (West Africa), Dutch, Urebo (West Africa), German, Mpongwe (West Polish, Africa). Hungarian, Diltele (West Africa), Bohemian (in Roman Atohawa, type), Choctaw, Italian, Cherokee, Bulgarian, Seneca, Esthonian (Russia), Dakota, Esthonian (Dorpsat), Ojibway, Armenian (ancient), Muskokee, Armenian (modern), Delaware, Mayan (Yucatan), NesPerces. Arabic, The British and Foreign Bible Society has printed the Bible in 200 languages and dialects other than those mentioned in the above list, including two dozen native African dialects, and including every Nation in Europe, Asia, Africa and Australasia. Here is the first verse of the first chapter of the Lamentations of Jeremiah from the English Bible: How doth the city sit solitary that was full of people! How is she become a widow I She that was great among the Nations and Princess among the provinces, how is she become tributary! Translated phonetically into the lan guage of the Gilbert Islands and set up in Roman type, the above verse reads as follows: E a tekateka kana te kawa ni kamaroa, ae on irouia aomata I E a riki kana n aine ae e mate buna I Neie kakanato i buakoia botanaomata, ae te toka i buekon aba aika bura winti. E a riki kana n te tia ananabai nakon te neal The verse in the Gilbert Island tongue is printed after the manner of poetry. The old King James veision of the Scriptures treated tho Lamentations as prose. The Gilbert Island word for Jeremiah is leremia, and the word for Lamentations is Balbaeti. The Book of the Prophet Eaekiel becomes, in that language, Ana Bokl te Burabeli Eteki era. lehovah is the way they pronounce Jehovah in the Gilbert Islands. For the missions in the Pacific Ooean which are under the care of the Ameri can Board of the Congregational Church, the American Bible Society has now in the'press an edition of the Books of and Exodus of tho Old Testa ment in the Ruk language spelled pho netically in English. Tha edition will number 2000 copies.— New York Time*. Mrs." Adlai Stevenson is a petite, fragile appearing woman of cultured mind. She is the daughter of a college President, and was reared in a literary atmosphere. NO. 25. LAUQH AND OROTW »L Ay, laugh and grow (at I"i Full often a chat Proves mora potent than potion; Laughter acts on the heart. Gives the blood a fresh start And a vigorous motion. Tea, laugh and grow fatt "Care," you know, "killed the calf- It will you if you let it; There'« no surer relief For many a grief Than to laugh and forget It Yes, laugh and grow fat I Though some sceptic hereat Hay scoff, wholesome laughter Doth body and sou). Mind and morals, control; They are all better after. Then laugh and grow fat I Don't be prim and "a' that;" Why should features be lengthened? Just smile till you've heard, And I pledge you my word You'll be gladdened and strengthened —Yonkers Statesman. HUMOR OF THE I»AY. Dust-proof—A bank-book. In at tbe death—The heirs. A dog star—The prize setter. Tough characters—Hieroglyphic!.— Puck. The crinoline is coming with a hoop and a hurrah.—Washington Star. "No, Maud, dear, Joan of Arc was not Noab's wife."—Philadelphia Record. The greatest part of a self-willed man's estate usually goes to the lawyers. Press. The newspaper man is the great writer of the people's wrongs.—Galves ton News. The pen enables a yonng man to give his girl an inkling of his sentiments.— Texas Sittings. There is some hope that the fashion magnates will stuve off the hoop-skirts. —Lowell Courier. To one traveling through the country milestones are pretty good signs of pro gress—Troy Press. When you see a boy unable to behave himself you should lend a helping hand. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Every dog ha*) his day, but the nights bslong to the cats and the clubmen.— Kate Field's Washington. ••Gee, that was a cold snap," as the bulldog remarked after biting tho Bos ton girl.—Philadelphia Record. An Ohio physician proposes to abate kissing, but the average pro poses with a view to keeping it up. •'lt is pretty hard to be shoved to the wall this way," plaintively remarked the bill to the bill poster.—Washington Star. The mother who starts to get a sleepy boy out of bed these mornings may be said to have a rousing time of it.—Phila delphia Times. Citticus—"l wonder how it is that so few women stutter when they talk?" Witticus—"Thej haven't got time."— Brooklyn Life. Mrs. New Lee Wed—"You are a fail ure, John. You've never had any luck." Mr. New Lee Wed—"Yes, once; I was born single."—Brooklyn Life. "You needn't assume that I am holier than thou air," growled tho Rochcfort to the Schweitzer; "everybody knows you are not up to my tone."—Puck. "Why did Columbus forgive tho mu tineers?" asked the teacher. " 'Cause they was half seas over when they kicked," said Johnnie.—Broklyn Life. "I'm a 'Jonah,'" said the urchiu, With a most expressive wall; "And 1 see by father's manner, I'm about to meet a whale." —Washington .Star. "1 think," murmured tho handcuffed convict, "that I must be a poor finan cier, for I have more bonds on hand than I can manage."—Baltimore Amer ican. The two most exciting periods in • woman's life are when she is listening to her first proposal ami bidding an a bas ket of broken crockery at an auction.— Sittings. "Were you in perfect health when yon were struck by the street car?" asked the lawyer. "No, sir," said the plain tiff, "I was a good deal run down."— Boston Commercial Bulletiu. Mrs. Qoodkind—"There's only one trouble about poor Mr. Careless. He's generous to a fault 1" Mr. Gruff— "Humph 1 It's a pity that he isn't gen erous to his family."—Black and White. In' 9 - M'stress (to her maid of all work) —"Miss Mulloney, the fire is get ting low; will you be kind enough togo to my room and bring me three pieces of coal from my jewel case."—Elmira Gazette. Making the Best of It - "Good morn ing, Uncle Charles. Did you sleep well? I'm afraid /our bed was rather hard and uneven; but—" "Oh, it was all right, thanks. I got up now and then during the night and rested a bit, you know." —Punch. "Could you give me something to eat, ma'am?" humbly asked the tramp in the suburbs of Boston of the stern visaged woman who opened the kitchen door. "Yes," said the stem visaged woman, as she energetically closed the door in his face and locked it with a jerk. "I could."—Somerville Journal. One of the richest specimens of a neat Irish bull was perpetrated by the clever and witty but blundering Irish knight, Sir Richard Steele, when inviting an English nobleman to visit him. "If, sir," said he, "you ever come within ft mile of my house, I hope you will stop there."—lnsurance Economist. Aboriginal America, in the person of a Sioux squaw, is to show its ideas on dress at the World's Fair. She lives near San Diego, Cal., and has been at work for two years making this gown of deerskins embroidered with sixteen pounds of beads.