SULLIVAN *JlitS§l REPUBLICAN. W. M, CHENEY, Publisher. VOL. XI. 112 The London Times would have all foreign live cattle excluded from Qreat Britain. I A number of the finest coaching teams in and about Paris belong to .American amateurs. They do not seem to stop at large thing out West. An irrigation canal in Utah and Idaho will irrigate 100,000 acres of land. Henry H. Powler, President of the Local Board of London, says that no quarantine would keep out cholera un less it should be strict enough to ruin commerce. Tho Pennsylvania Agriculture College has annouueed a short winter course in agriculture. This is especially designed for farmers' sons who desire to obtain knowledge regarding the sciences that underlie agriculture. The salary of Ihe Prince of Wales is $200,000 per year; Duke of Connaught, $125,000; Duke of Edinburgh, $125,- 000, and the Duke of Cambridge, the Queen's cousin, SOO,OOO. The royal family costs British taxpayers $40,00j a week. The Touristen Z'jitung publishes a list of all the accidents in the Alps during the season of 1892. The total number of fatal accidents was only thirty-two. Of these, twenty-six occurred in the case of ascents that were undertaken without guides. A wonderful improvement has been made in the varieties of tomatoes during the last five years. They are now smooth on the surface, and are very solid com pared with old varieties. If improve ment progresses as rapidly in the future as in the past with tomatoes the Chicago Times predicts that they will at some day contain but few seeds and be as solid fieshed as apples. Congressman Outhwaite, of Ohio, ad dressed a letter to the State Bankeri' As sociation, asking them to adopt a reso lution petitioning for the replacement of mutilated and soiled paper money by new issue. He calls attention to the discovery of disease baccilli on such money and of medical scienco that infectious diseases are imported in thii way. In view of the threatened epidemic of cholera, ho thinks imme diate action of Congress necessary. "Some day," predicts tho Boston Transcript, "stock raisers will turn their attention to the common donkey, and with a few generations of liberal feed ing, careful groomiDg and judgment in selection, will raise a breed that for all draught and carrying purposes will be superior to cither horse or mule. The hoofs of the donkey seem absolutely in capable of lameness, his endurance is without parallel save in the enmel, and with good treatment there is no reason why the size of the breed should not be greatly increased. The donkey has a bad name, but ages of ill treatment have giveu him a bad temper, which can be overcome only by kindness. The official reports forwarded by Colonel Dodds, the commander of the French forces in Dahomey, ascribe new terrors to the new explosive, melinite. He says that the wounds indicted by the bursting of a shell charge! with this compound are especially severe, while the gases which follow the discharge are so mephitic that not only the euomy but the attacking troops arj likely to be overcome by them. When he shelled the Dahomeyan stronghold at Sibovi, the place was reduced to a dust heap in an hour, but the vapors that arose from the ruins were so noxious that he was compelled to order his troops to retreat to the distance of half a mile, iu order to avoid the danger ol suffocation. In the warefare of the future, remarks the New York Post, possibly, armies will fight each other with discharges of chemicals instead of shot and shell. Mexico is progressing. Tue natives played American baseball all summer, and now the skating rink has reached them. The City of Mexico newspaper, Two Republics, says: " 'Skating in the rink' is becoming a popular pastime, al though introduced here only a few months since. The old rink near the Y. M. C. A rooms continues to draw crowds every night, and on the special 'ladies' nights' it is as full as on the or dinary nights. Many young ladies of the leading families may be seen there whirling around the hall ou tho skates and all merry and contented. In the new rink in Hospital Real street, just be yond the Hotel JarJin, tho attendance is great, and both sexes patronize the ex ercise and enjoy themselves as they rush and mingle in the whirl. On Sunday, from 10 to 1 o'clock in the day, there was a special 'skating party of the elite in tbe old rink,for which special invitations had been issued, and the hall was crowded." CHRISTMAS. Oh, the glorious Christmas weather, when all hearts keep time together. And We never have a feeling that is not serene and bright; When the snow is falling, falling, and the sound of coasters calling To their fellows on the hillside echoes clearly through the night. Bow the sleighbells tingle, tingle, while the snow goes crinkle, crinkle. And the furs and robes about us hardly serve to keep us warm; And our feet and fingers tingle to the music and tbe jingle, As we drive on swiftly homeward through the thick flying storm. How the lights shine out to meet us; how the dogs rush out to greet us. As we draw up at the gateway; and the horses, in a steam, Stand there restless, stamping, stamping in tbe drifting snow, and clamping At their bit?, impatient of us—like the shadows in a dream. How the blazing hickory fire flashes higher, higher, higher, As we pile the wood upon it and draw closer all around; And the cracking and the snapping of the logs, like wood-gnomes rapping For release from out their prisons, has a weird and wintry sound. Ob, the warmth and love within there! Ob, tbe stories that we spin there To tho children, of the goblins who live out in all the snow; Anu at. length we leave the fablo, and recall the lowly stable Where the King of Love was lying many centuries ago. Till, as we all sat there thinking, little eyes with sleep are blinking, And the old clock in tbe hallway tells of Christmas come again; And the whole white earth rejoices as we hear tho angel voices Sing again tbe old, old story: "Peace on earth, good will to men." Then to wake up at the dawning of a glori ous Christmas morning, To find everybody happy with the warmth of Christmas cheer. Ah, when love is such a feeling, all our bet ter selves revealing, Let us dwell in love forever and have Christmas all the year. —James G. Burnett. THE CHRISTMAS PIKE. BY MISS L. V. BULLOCK- WEBSTEK. M THERE shall I go for \/W Christmas," was a y y question ,that much CgMggjZll ,- disturbed my mind last year; for I had a great many iDvita- I ■ i|~T| tions.and only a few dajs to spare. I par ticularly wanted to be back for the big HidS-y-r-jVy dance at The Haw thorns, and with open weather, and four good horse? in the stable, I grudged missing even oneday's hunt ing. Still a bachelor's hunting box, seven miles from anywhere, was not exactly my idea of tho place to Christmas in; so I turned over iu my mind the merits and demerits of my various friends' establishments, but could not come to tiny conclusion as to which I intended to honor with my presence. Tbe evening post settled the matter for me. "The very place," I cried, when just as I bad finished dinner the maid brought in a letter from my old chum, Langham Carter, who was home on a six months' furlough flora India. He and I had been close friends at school, but we had not met again until one win ter when I went out to India for some tiger and big game shooting. We were both staying with Sanderson, at Mysore, and good sport we had. He showed us how to catch elephants, as only he knows how, and put me in the way of bagging ray first tiger. "What lun it was I and what a good sort old George Sanderson is—very few like him, worse luck, 1 ' I mused, as Langham's letter recalled that jolly time winch we had spent together. "Dear Frank," his note ran,"l am going down to The Moat for Christmas and I hope you'll come, too. You can have a good mount on any of the dad's horses—they are all your sort, well bred and good performers. If you bring a rod you can catch pikes galore and of sizes large in the moat. Father and mother nnfi the girls (you remember Nellie and Nora when they were little) will be de lighted to see you once more. Come by the early train ou Christmas Eve and I'll me you at the station. Don't bother to write, just send a wire to say you're coming." b'o next morning I sent my message, "Thanks, delighted to come," and spent the rest of the day iu pleasant anticipa tion of the fun I was going to have. If there is one thing I like, or love, next to bunting, it is a bit of good fishing, and a big pike is my especial in the fish line; so I packed up ray rod and looked out suitable tackle for the mighty mon archs of whom Lang spoke. It was only midday when I reached the Carters' station, for I had got up be times. Two very pretty girls were wait ing for me on the platform; and I in stantly recognized one as an improved edition of tbe little Nellie I used to chase and kiss under the mistletoe long ago. She had been my first love, and we made all sorts of vows and promises dur ing the winter holidays that I spent at The Moit as a boy. Her companion wrs not Nora—l felt sure of that—but 1 thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever beheld. Medium height, and fair, with curly golden hair under an Astrakan cap, she looked quite the regular Christmas-story-book-picture girl, with the advantage of a merry pair of sparkling gray eyes and a laughing face. In her arms sho carried a mite of a toy boil terrier, in a smart red coat. As I pulled my traps out of the train Miss Carter came up aud shook hands. LAPOBTE, PA., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1892. "Langham was so sorry he couldn't meet you. He won't be back till this evening, so we—let me introduce Miss Mildred Palgrave, who is staying with us—thought we'd drivo to fetch you in stead. 1 am afraid we are a poor sub stitute for brother Lang, but you must make the best of it and take us on our merits." Looking at them t though myself lucky, and thanked heaven that Lang could not come, ingrate I was. Miss Palgrave held out a well-gloved hand, saying, "Ismso glad to meet you, for Langham has told me so many stories about vou as a boy that I quite feel I know you already. But they tell me that I must treat you with respect, for you're a mighty Nimrod now, and a slayer of wild beasts." "Not many, I'm afraid. Mere trave lers' tales. Some of dear old Langham's yarns," answered I, modestly, but I was secretly gratified at her taking such a friendly interest in me. "You've got to take Mildred and Qoliath (the tiny terrier) in front and drive," said Nellie, when my luggage had been stowed in the bottom of the dog cart—and I was expecting to have to sit behind; "I want to have a rest. Old Banjo—wc call this cob Banjo be cause he is so musical—pulls like a de mon as soon as his head is turned for home." Nothing loath, I helped the girls into their seats, and we were soon at The Moat, which was only five miles from the station—a very short five miles, and I hated Banjo for making the journey so brief, when I should have liked it to have lasted forever. My companion chatted on as if she had known me all her life, and I fell desperately in love with her and qnite forgot my boyhood's sweetheart, who only reminded mo of her presence as we drove up the avenue by exclaiming: "This is where you shot your first rabbit that Sunday after- .A CHRISTMAS PUDDING. Old Christmas comes With frozen thumbs. His long beard whit? with snow; 'Tis right good cheer His knock to hear, And grief to have him go. noon when we were all at church. What a row there was about it 1 Do you re member? You were both bad boys in those days." Ou the steps were Nora and the Squire, who welcomed me heartily, and Mrs. Carter met me with a pleasant greeting in the hall. In a mo ment I felt "at home," and it seemed moro like -fifteen months than fifteen years since these kindly folks had last seen me. As we sat at lunch Mr. Carter apolo gized for Langham's unavoidable ab sence, and asked me if I could console myself with the pike foi one afternoon. "They are all on the feed," he said, "and Johnson, the keeper, has got some nice roach. I want you to try and catch the Patriarch. Old Jacob, as we call him, is a huge brute who abides by tho island. He is wily, but as no one has fished the place for a year we are hoping he'll give you a show. Last year he broke two of my friends, one ol them twice, and they swore he must be fifty pounds at least. lie ate a good-sized duck last summer, and we picked up a half dead carp not long ago that weighed over fifteen pounds, and had a big hole in ita side like a cavern. No doubt it was old Jacob's work." I almost forgot Mildred in my excite ment, and directly lunch was over rigged up my pet old rod, made of a bamboo I had brought from India, where it had killed many a goodly mahseer in the swift Joaldoka, and put on live bait tackle of abnormal strength and sixc. Johnson and I were soon in the punt, and began at the foot of the moat where the water was shallow. I mounted a nice roach, fresh and lively, of about two ounces, and under the keeper's instruc tions tried a bit or water beside a log. My float was scarcely settled when I had a pull, and knew I was into a good fish, and aftera few minutes a respectable ten pcunder was in the boat. On the way up I caught two more and then came the haunts of the Patriarch, and we grew cautious and slow. "No use trying a small bait for him, sir. Put on the very largest in the ! well." I So, dutifully, I selected one that was I fully half a pound weight, and, follow- ing Johnson's directions, swung it well out into a deep hole at the mouth of a backwater that ran round a little island in front of the house. "That's the place, just where your float is now," cried the squire, who with the girls had come down on the lawn to watch the fun. A Charming group thoy made—that fine old country gentleman, the picture of health and good nature, with three pretty girls standing by him, and Don, his sedate old poitter, at bis heels; while gayly frolicking round them all was the irrepressible Goliah, who seemed to im agine that the whole party had come out entirely for his gratification and amuse ment. As my bait touched the water the excitable little dog pricked up his ears, and advanced at the water's edge, surveying it critically as if he fancied it might be some vagrant water rat with whom it was his duty to do battle. "Come to.heel, Goliah, come to heel, called Mildred. "You'll tumble in and catch your death of cold." But she called in vain, he heeded not her warning, and I almost forgot my fishing, so taken up wa9 I with watching the comical little beast, as he dodged about the bank in fussy impor tance, his red jacket contrasting prettily with the dry grass aad weeds. My bait was so big and lively that it kept the float moving briskly, constantly pulling it under, and as I bad no spare corks I was obliged to let it go, hoping that a sensible patriarch would discrimi nate between a bonj roach and a float and prefer the former, iu spite of the attractive red top of tho latter. However the eccentric vagaries of the said red top attracted all Master Go liath's attention, and each time the float bobbed up he gave a little jump and a yap in unison. At length his excitement grew so intense that we all burst out laughing. To him it appeared no laugh ing matter, but a serious subject which The children dance. And the babies prance, For the tiniest toddler knows 'Tis a world of drums And dolls and plums, Where the jolly old pilgrim goes required investigation, and when the bright red top disappeared longer than usuai he could stand it no more, but jumping with a dash, regardless of the bitter cold water,swam out for the point where he last saw the float. Mildred's face was a study. "Oh, my poor little dog!" sho cried. "Do get him out at once, Mr. Galloway, and bring him in. Don't lose a moment." As well as his laughter would let him Johnson was paddling to meet the bold swimmer, and I leant ready in the bows, with my sleeve* turned up, to grab him as soon as he was Dear enough. His round, little head and big eyes and red coat made him look like some strange new water-baby come to view tho world. When he was within six feetof tbe boat, and I was just making ready for the grasp, there was a inad swirl tha*. sent the water flying into my face, a rush, a huge pair of jaws swept the surface, and in a moment the Patriarch had pulled poor Goliah under the water, aud ho wa* lost to our sight! All the girls screamed in chorus, and Mildred gave such a weird, wild, ago nized cry, as she saw her darling disap pear to certain death, that I felt almost as if I were a murderer; for had I not been fishing this would never have hap pened. Johnson had all his wits about him "He's gone for his hold thero under the willow," said he, driving the slow punt forward, and plunging the pole deep into tho water in hopes of frighten ing the monster off his prey. As he did so up came fish and dog, the latter strug gling gamely, bnt still held acros-j his quarters in the cruel jaws. I could not help myself—in a moment I dived from the punt right onto them, and quick as thought with my left hand grabbed Goliath by tbe collar, whilst with my right I struck a heavy blow across the pike's j*ws, whic made him leave go. Johnson seized my hand as I turned round, and was helping me into the punt when the Patriarch, wildly enraged at losing his p*ey, made another dash, grasping my arm just above the wrist in hi * effort to get at the dog. But his Nemesis had come. Johuson had the gaff in his hand, and did not lose a aec ond in gaffing Master Jacob behind the shoulders. Luckily it was one of the old fashioned, home made ones—a huge h ok big enough to gaff sharks, with • big holding barb on it— and struggle and fight as ho might the monster could not get away. Meanwhile I had chucked the halt dead Qoliath into the punt and struggled in myself; then, slipping a cord over the fish's tail, we soon had him in the boat, where a judicious tap on the head with a leaded "pike stick" settled his hash. Tue sight of his enemy seemed to bring new life into Goliath, and seizing him by a fin he shook and shook to his heart's content, quite oblivious of his own broken leg and torn sides. When we touched the shore I scrambled out with the plucky little terrier in my arms and restored him to his anxious mistress, who thanked me heartily and gratefully while she showered kisses upon her rescued treas ure. The squire hurried me off to the house, wisely thinking that a hot bath would prevent any evil effects from this cold dive. My coat sleeve had protected my arm so well that a few deep scratches were the extent of my ills, and I felt as if I would gladly have lost a hand to be thanked once more like tnat by my darling Mildred. For ] quite regarded her now as my own, and determined I would propose that very night after dinner. For the first time in my life I felt grateful to the unc'.e who had worked hard and left me the money which had made my life so easy and pleasant; and I kept repeating to myjelt the old adage, "Enough for one is enough for two," and thinking how I should spend next Christmas ut home, and how Mildred and I would ask Langham and Nellie and Nora to stay with us, and how we would talk over this day's pro ceedings, and enjoy ourselves. By the time I had dressed I felt quite "good," and had no doubts at all about the future. "Tea is served in the drawing-room," said the pretty parlor maid, "and the ladies are waiting." "How's Goliath?" asked I. "All right, sir. Johnson has set his leg, and tied up his wounds, and he's doing nicely. He is asleep now, sir, on Miss Palgrave's lap." "Say I'll be down in a minute," I an swered. And as soon as I brushed my hair, and tied my scarf to my satisfac tion, I stalked down stairs as if I was walking on air, to receive the renewed thanks of my idol, and to try and tell her that my life was at her service. As I stalked into the drawing room Langham rushed forward and shook mo warmly by the hand, exclaiming, "I am so glad to see you, Frank, you dear old man. A thousand thanks for your bold ness in rescuing Millie's pet. She treas ures that little brute above creation—" For a moment I was thunderstruck. My dream was over I Fool that I was, it served nr; right, and good sense soon returned. Heaitily could I congratu late them both on their good fortune, and I hope no one ever guessed my dis appointment. "Bar one thing," Mildred broke in, as she slipped her hand caressingly into his arm. "And says it's just because I gave it to her," continued Langham. "You know it was my first present to her after we were engaged." When he had done talking over our adventuie, and saying how thankful we were that it had terminated so well, we all went out to inspect the foe, the sight of whom made Goliath bristle with rage, and struggle to get out of his mistress' arms, and attack once more his would be murderer. Certainly he well deserved the name of the Patriarch. He weighed forty eight pounds and was long and lean and lauk, with jaws like a crocodile. Had lie been in condition in proportion to his lengtii he would have weighed fully sixty | pounds, aud I felt quite proud of having ' played even a subordinate pert in the ; capture of such a monster. Johnson got a couple of sovereigns from Langhuin for his share, and well he : deserved it. If it haa not been for his I prompt action I believe old Jacob would have snatched Goliath from my arms and left his mistress a-lamentiug. We spent a jolly evening, and never have I enjoyed a Chrismas more than I did that one, though this year I fancy it may provo even pleasanter still; for now I am going as Nellio's accepted lover. Don't laugh; in spite of one day's infat uation for her friend I discovered that it was Nellie, my first and only sweet heart, that I really cared for, and the girl I loved as the boy of twelve I uow love with the strong and lasting love of manhood. Oh, yes, the Patriaich and Goliatb, what became of them? Goliath went out to India six weeks later, when his mistress married my old friend, and I am afraid he will carry the marks of that day's adventure till his death. I trust ho may never again encounter so cruel a foe, for a pluckier little dog was never wrapped in a skiu. Aud the Patriarch; We ate some of him on Christmas Day. In life he was terrible, anil in death he was horrible; may I nevor taste so vile a fish again. Peace be to his memory, wo ne'er shall look u.jon his liko again. His skin is stuffed, and holds a place of honor in my hall, and I look upon him, indirect ly, as the means of giving me ray love. What's Nellio like? Well, my friends, you'll sec next year when we are mar ried, and theD you'll agree with me that she is the sweetest girl in the world.— Ilolly Leaves. A Suggestion. Head of Finn—"You had better give tho office boy a couple ol dollars, Mr. Penwiper, for Christ®v." Mr. Penwiper (the bookkeeper)—"l think we had batter make ita New Year's gift, sir. I havo just sent him out with a telegram, and I don't think ho will get back by Christmas." Terms—s 1.00 in Advance; 51.25 after Three Months. TBE CITY OF JEYPORE. THE CAPITAL OF ONE OF INDIA'S WEALTHIEST PRINCES. A Wonderful Astronomical Observa tory—People Who Labor tor Five Cents a May. JEYPORE is the capital and resi dence of one of India's wealthiest princes. The Maharajahi's estate covers 15,000 square miles and has a population of 2,500,000 souls. The city of Jeypore is encirclod by a crenel lated wall with seven gateways. These are all well guarded during turbulent times in India. The city is typically Indian, with crowded streets and bazars. In the centre is the Maharajah's palace, beautiful gardens and pleasure grounds adorned with fountains, tropical trees, plants and flowing shrubs. Tbe palace and grounds occupy one- seventh of the walled city, and are surrounded by a high embattled wall built by Jey Sing when he left Amber. One of the interesting sights in Jey pore is the observatory built by the cele brated royal astronomer and founder, Jey Sing. It is one of tho largest in In dia, and is remarkable even to this date on account of the many curious instru ments, dials, gnomons, quadrants, etc., built of solid stone. Some of these as tronomical instruments are hundreds of feet in height and in diameter, and of great interest to astronomers. Many of the instruments are unknown to scien tists at the present day, although they served the purpose of Jey Sing's wonder fully accurate calculations and observa tions. The Royal stables are also of consider able interest. These cover perhaps teu acres of land, with stalls on each side and large exercise grounds in the center. There are several hundreds of fine horses, some of choice Asian blood from all parts of the country, of various build and color, from the finely spotted Arab to the graceful delicately limbed Deccan, the fleet-footed Punjaub mares and blood-bay English troopers. Each hsrse has a special attendant and each atten dant—knight of the hor?e—has several servants. Each horse is double quilted, although the temperature ranges ninety degrees to 120 degrees Farenheit. All of them are too much bliuded and ham pered and most ruinously fat. They stand upon clean dirt in spacious stalls. Each horse is tied—not by its head and neck as we do, but by its feet. Around the fetlocks are fastened leather bands to which ropes are attached, so that the animal can neither paw, strike nor kick. The ropes from the hind feet are fastened to a stone pillar some twenty feet away. If in spite of this theso noble animals will surge about, lateral ropes are fastened to each foot so that the poor creature cannot rabve n any directiou more than six inches. Should they still be uneasy a large hood is drawn over their heads and eyes to keep them quiet. The horses are fed on a mixture of meal, brown sugar and butter, which makes them as fat and plump as a porker, regular roly-poly ponies used much too little. Several of the finest are kept constantly saddled and richly caparisoned to be ready at a moment's notice, for the Prince brooks no delay; anything he wants must be supplied at once. The hundreds of attendants are paid four rupees a month ($1.29), aud by tho time they pay their board and clothe themselves there is not much left for their families out of four cents a day. The average wages per day in India is from three to five cents—prices not at all exhorbitant when one considers that most of the men raise large families, pay house rent, etc., to say nothing of lux uries, such as betel nut. Even with these prices of say four cents a day tho people are happy aad contented and one never hears of trades unions nor strikes. Besides these ample stables the rajah has twenty-five huge Indian elephants for excursions. These noble beasts are about twelve feet high and of eaormous size. A car is strapped on the elephant's back and a whole family rides on one animal. To mount an elepheut is quite a task. The animal is made to kneel, and then, by means of a stepladder, one climbs into the car on his back as if it were a house. When one is comfortably seated, with the shade drawn to keep off the sun, the elephant swings along at an easy gait of twenty miles au hour. Our elephant was richly comparisoned with gold embroideries; his ivory tusks were set with jewels and clasped with a gold en band, for he was one of the Prince's favorites. The Maharajah also keeps another lot of elephants which we did not like the looks of. These are tbe fighters—huge, powerful fellows, with sharp tusks and vicious eyes. They are trained to fight anything and everything, but especially the wild elephants in the mountains. They charge at these at full speed and plunge their tusks into their antagonists and gore them to death. An elephaut fight is part of the royal sport in India, and not one to be missed if one has the opportunity to witness one. Jeypore is also famous lor its enamel works and the cutting and setting of garnets and other precious stones found in tbe State. The native school of de sign is exceedingly interesting. Here children are sent as apprentices for five years before they can earn anything, bu; the work they do in copper and brass is unexcelled in any part of the world. They sit on the ground with a pieec of brass beld by their toes, a small hammer in one hand and a small piece of steel in the other, and with these cru le imple ments they will hammor and hammer until they finish a highly ornamental vase or cup, the equal of anything we saw in any other country.—San Francisco Chronicle. A New York oyster-house keeper has discovered in a little neck clam a pearl, tor which he has already been offered a good price. Switzerland is a great country for fruit, enormous quantities of which have been exported this seasjn. NO. 11. A SONO OF LOVE When the sunset tinged the meadows Where the grasses gently blew, Whlsper'd mid the falling shadows Came the words: "Love, wilt be true? And the maiden's cheek was glowing And the light that filled ber ayes From a heart with love o'eflowing, Seemed to dim the Western skies. And her voice was low and broken As she answered, tenderly: "Take this kiss as love's sweet token, For I love none else but thee." Thus it is that love's sweet story Fills the greater part of life; Better far than gain and glory Won from marts and fields of strife. Thus that 'midst the care an.l sorrow Falling from the wheel of time We may know there is a morrow, With a wealth of love sublime. —Albert E. Hunt, HUMOR OF THE DAY. A put-up job—Pickles.—Puck. The stock exchange—A liorse trade.— Washington Star. A cereal tale—The story of a wheat deal.—New York Journal, A very hungry person never relishes cold facts.—Chicago News. Bread cast upou the water is supposed to be in soak.—Dallas News. Some men are insulted by money, and others pocket the insult.— Truth. It rather puts a belle on her mettle when she is extolled.—Statesman. The scarecrow has its uses, though it doesn't aid the caws any.—Elmira Ga zette. A peculiarity of certain cranks is that they can't bo turned.—Philadelphia Times. It looks as if Yale's Greek letter socie ties were destined to be translated.— Boston Herald. The coming man will probably walk on one foot and kick with the other.— Elmira Gazette. Unyielding self-possession prevents many a man from giving himself awav. —Elmira Gazette. The fortunes of war seem to be accu mulated principally by the gun makers. —Washington Star. When a barber talks too much his stories are generally illustrated with cuts.—Texas Siftings. Unflagging interest has made many a foitune aud wrecked mauy a railroad train.—Rlraira Gazette. Oh, hail election day nnd give The gratitude wo owe it, It fini.«hes the labor of The eager campaign poet. Washin gton Star. "He is an artist by profession." "I know that; but what is he by occupa tion?"—Washington Star. Flamme—"What do you do to cure the blues?" Flamme "Paint every thing red."—Brooklyn Life. "All men have their ups and downs." "Yes, e7en the tallest of us get short at times."—Philadelphia Record. "He has a high idea of irt, I think." "I should say so. He wants S2COO for a picture."—Washington Star. "Isn't it funny that a iady can cut a gentleman dead without fear of being arrested," —Philadelphia Record. Always credit a wise man with what he does not say, and charge the fool's words up to him—Galveston News. "Do you fear a depression iu business as the result of the election?" "No, sir; I am a hatter."—Washington Star. "There is always room at the top," but you had better carry up with you a big basket of victuals.—Galveston News. L'ttle drops of water Brought with dynamite Are not compensation For a sleepless night. Washington Star. What does it profit a man to drink tc drive away trouble? He simply ex changes one load for another.—Stales man. The baggagemau has a big contract on bis bands when he undertakes to check the cry of a baby 011 his train.—States man. On her cheeks there were rosjs, roses, But now, alas! they're not there, The gaslight but dimly discloses They rubbed olf on the parlor urin-chair. —Chicajo News Record. Mrs. Bridie—"llow much is your in come, Charlie?" Mr. Bridie—"You ought to know, you spend it all, my dear."—Brooklyn Life. "Well, I never got oil anything that tickled me more than that," remarked the dog as he flicked the flea from bis left ear.—Elmira Gazette. Bertie—"Why did you buy this pic ture? It is only a flight of sparrows." Algie—"Wny. they are very English, don't you know, duah boy."—inter- Ocean. Women appear to have a decided ad vantage over men in literary pursuit in the fact that loug hair is simply a nor mal circumstance with them.—Washing ton Star. Lady Friend (to Mrs. Newlywed)— "Well, how do you like your flit?" Mrs. Newlywed—"Which do you mean ; the ouo I married or the one I live in?"— Tit-Bits. U »cli morn a saintly resolution strong, He foeif witiin him rise. ICneh evo ere midnight strikes hor gong. That resolution die*. —Chicago News Record. This is the way she wound up her let ter: P. S.—lf this letter never reaches you, you will know that it is not my lault, as I shall give it to my husband to mail.—Minneapolis Journal. "Is football a gambling game?" ■lusher—"Well, Dodger lost 825 in 140M yesterday." " Vhy didn't he leave it at home?" "He couldn't; it was in his tPeth."— lnter-Ocean. Mrs. Schuvlevant—"My son is a regu lar Bohemian." Mrs. Harlem Pnlats— '•Oh, pshaw, now don't bo puttin' on. You know he was born right here in tie* York.' : —Chicago News Record.