SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
W M, CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. X.
About 400 people are annually killed
in Chicago, 111., at grade crossings of
railroads.
Spain has been steadily making a de
ficit for fourteen years past, and what is
■worse, seems to be making a bigger one
each succeeding year.
The German Government is preparing
a bill to regulate emigration. It is in
tended chiefly to restrict the activity of
agents, who will be prohibited from
carrying emigrants at the expense of
foreign States.
Californians expect that within a year
or two their State will become noted as a
centie for the cultivation of flowers for
perfumery purposes, and thus become a
rival to France and Germany, which have
monopolized tills business heretofore.
The country that has the cheapest coal,
declares the San Francisco Chronicle,can
depend upon winning the race for manu
facturing supermacy. Statistics show
that the average price of bituminous coal
per long ton at the mouth of the pit in
the United States is $1.12, while in
Great Britain the average is 91.60.
Tho firing of the Miantonomoh's big
guns without damage scores another
naval triumpli for the United States, is
the boast of the San Francisco Examiner.
Several of the English ships carrying
large guns have found that the discharge
of their own batteries was the greatest
danger they would have to fear in action
—there being a certainty that a few
rounds would send the vessel to the bot
tom. The Miantonomoh will evidently
be able to hurt something else than
itself.
The inventor of the "whaleback''
steamer, Captain McDougall, of West
Superior, Wis., thinks that his type of
vessel will make a more formidable man
of-war than anything afloat, especially
for coast and harbor defense. He has
had a number of pictures nude of his
idea of a belligerent whaleback. They
are to be so constructed that iu action
they can be entirely suinmerged, except
a small turret and the bow. In the bow
are to be stationed two heavy guns, one
of which can be run out and fired, whilo
the other is drawn back for loading. The
vessel has been patented in this and all
foreign countries.
A chivalrous man is trying to awaken
a little interest in Mr 3. Columbus in this
anniversary of the discovery that made
her consort famous. He tells us that
she was a Miss Palestrello, which is in •
finitely more distinguished than plain
Mrs. Columbus. Her father was a navi
gator, and as a girl she made many haz
ardous voyages in company with him.
She possessed a fine education and was a
brainy, ambitious woman. It may be
possible that she suggested the Western
excursion to her lord and master, and
spurred him onto his discovery, like
plenty of other good wives to whom the
husbands owe their fame.
Says the Gossipper in the New York
World: "One who witnessed the fire
drill by Tiffany & Co.'s clerks during the
recent blaze which threatened the great
jewelry store tells me it was one ot the
best specimens of human mechanism he
ever saw. At the first sign of fire the
store was cleared of customers and the
clerks took positions assigned them in
practice. At the first signal the heavy
iron shutters were closed, next the hose
was uncoiled, and at the third command
the jewelry was deposited in the various
safes. There was no confusion, no con
flicting orders or excitement. This ad
mirable drill undoubtedly saved the firm
from a heavy loss, as, had a panic taken
place, the result may easily be imag
ined."
This has been a great season for sport
in the hunting regions of the New Eng
land States, announces the New York
Sun. One taxidermist in Bangor has re
ceived fiftccu moo3e heads for mounting
this season, all of them being unusually
large and fine. A fur buyer in Farm
ington who returned a few days aga
from a purchasing trip among the trap
pers of Maine, New Hampshire, and Ver
mont brought more than a score of bear
skins, a great number of fox skins, in
cluding a very fine gray; thirty beaver,
about as many fisher, a quantity of otter
sable, coon, and cat skins, five or six
hunlred mink, and as many skunk. He
bought about two thousand muskrat
skins in New Hampshire. The animals
bad been kilted this season.
THE STATION DESPAIR,
We must trust the conductor, most iurely,
Why millions of millions before
Have made this same journey securely
And come to that ultimate shore.
And we, we will reach it in season;
And ah, what a welcome is there!
Reflect, then, how out of all reason
To stop at the station Despair!
Ay, midnights and many a potion
Of trouble and sorrow have we.
As we journey from ocean to ocean,
From sea unto ultimate sea.
To that deep sea of seas, and all silence
Of passion, concern, and of care,
That vast sea of Eden-set islands
Don't stop at the station Despair!
Go forward, whatever may follow,
Go forward, friend, led or alone;
Ah, me, to leap off in some hollow
Or fen, in Che night and unknown.
Leap off like a thief; try to hide you
From angels, r.ll waiting you there!
Go forwardwhatever betide you,
Don't stop at that station Despair!
—Joaquin Miller, in St. Paul Globe.
A WINTER WOOING.
g 3 E N E V 1 K V E
Mr Chamberlain is too
silent," remarked
» Hal Balkan. "When
ijjA she comes into u
) j room I feel as if I
II wanted to shake a
secret out °f her
perfect mouth; but,
I V 88 si l6 is very
J vfe,dainty and very
■ beautiful, I don't
really do it."
The young woman who sat near him
as he spoke, painting, and who could
not quite compare with a great beauty,
thought that Balkan was showing off,
being irritated by Genevieve's apparent
indifference, and was trying to console
himself by grumbling at her, although
he would have been very critical of any
one else who dared to do so. This young
woman, who could reflect intelligently,
was, nevertheless, a perfect child in
guilclessness. She was the sort of girl
who would remain sweet and naive as an
old woman.
Nellie Feathcrly looked round at Bal
kan in a moment, and said:
"Now there is nothing mysterious
about me."
"You? I should think not! You a.-a
so fearless, straightforward and amus
ing."
"You have not quite enough illusion
about me, I think," pouted Nellie, over
her satin scarf, which was just bursting
into flower and leaf. "You have made
me out just one of the ordinary, useful,
toss-me-aside kind of women, and, al
though you are right, I do hate to hear
the fact repeated."
"I don't care what you think of your
self, or how you construe my apprecia
tion of you," answered Balkan. "I ain
perfectly content with enjoying your
traits and sitting near while you paint."
Nellie went on busily, with a dozen
pretty motions, and a rather dissatisfied
expression of countenance. Whether it
was her work or his words which an
noyed her, Balkan was not quite sure.
"That's exquisite and no mistake," he
went on, peering over at the drawing
board on her knees, upon which the
satin was stretched.
"Oh, please don't say pretty things,"
Nellie cried. "Somehow you seem in
sincere to-day."
"I? My dear Miss Featherly, I should
not hesitate to tell the truth rather than
prevaricate. To be quite honest, I
would tell you the truth about anything
in the world you could ask me; though
with others 1 might be as silent as Gen
evieve, instead of confessing to actual
ities."
"If I ev*>r want to ask you anything I
will remember this,"the young amateur
rejoined, with a smile into Balkan's
earnest face.
Cecil Morton sauntered across the
room during the little pause ensuing,
and said that the day was too pleasant to
stay in the house. Why not goto walk
before dinner? The young people, eight
in all, were visiting some dear old coun
try gentleman to whom Nellie was near
ly related, and who had asked them for
a week of sleighing and other winter
sports, the snow being in better condi
tion than for years past. That evening
they were togo sleighing by moonlight,
and it was super-energetic for Morton to
talk of walking. But we all know how
these restless people of energy and mus
cle rout us o.it of lazy tete-a-tetes and
fireside luxury. Neither Nellie nor Bal
kan wished to be stigmatized as loth to
exercise, so they rushed out of the par
lor to find the cthcr3 and get wrapped
up for a cool ramble; while Cecil Mor
ton smiled to himself in a mirror, think
ing of the commotion he could atfect at
■will.
Nellie and Genevieve paired off, in
tentionally, as the group left the hall
door ten minutes later. Something
agitated Nellie's beautifui friend, as the
former was able to discover through girl
ish intimacy. Genevieve's face looked
calm and pale as siie said in a low,tragic
voice to the girl beside her:
"My heart is almost breaking. lam
so surprised and so wretched. To think
of it! I have never loved before, and
every one always on his knees to me.
And now, the very one who absorbs my
thoughts--cold, cold!"
"Don't be silly, Gen. You're so tired
up at finding .iny one you can become
romantic over, that you arc as blind as a
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 11. 1892.
hickory nut, besides being dreadfully
awkward when he's around. Moreover,
Hal Balkan is perfectly splendid—so
handsome and so manly I I don't won
der you like him tremendously! And
the idea of his not coming under your
spell 1 Why, I just know he thinks you
are irresistible. I know you are in his
mind—"
"You love me, and try to th'nk me a
vanquisher of all hearts," murmured
Genevieve. "But my former conquests
have not been all-convincing, because
Mr. Balkan is really the only true per
son of enviable position and means whom
I ever met in our set. There seems to be
a thousand foolish bachelors to one real
hero."
"I think Hal is a fine fellow," Nellie
again admitted softly, resting her hand
upon Genevieve's arm for a few step 3,
then stopping her and letting the others
catch up with them. "How far north
we seem?" she then exclaimed. "I am
sure the Arctic Sea is over that hill of
pines by the meadow. This exhil
arating atmosphere makes me feel as if I
were somebody else. Oh, we are ex
plorers ! Is that a Polar bear or a snow
drift?" she concluded, pointing to a
white-banked gate post by the cattle
lane.
Cecil Mortou tried to shuffle the little
perty in such a way that he would come
next to Genevieve; but she evaded him
by sheer force of desperation. And as
luck would have it, Hal Balkan came up
to her with his fine, hearty good cheer,
and asked her to walk with him as far as
a wide-spreading elm at a considerable
distance down the high road, and Nellie
Feathcrly heard him say it. Genevieve
was willing, and they started off at a
huge pace which the rest tried to imitate;
but not too well, as everyone of the
giris thought that Balkan wanted to
propose to his companion, and deter
mined to let him have a chance.
At last the two figures iu advance
stopped under the delicate tracery of the
great bare elm tree and seemed to be
talking earnestly. Then a cry went up
from Nellie Peatherly, for Genevieve had
suuk to the grouud, evidently iu a
faint, and Balkan kneeled at her side.
'•The walk was too rapid for her,"
exclaimed Nellie, off-hand. "Oh, Mr.
Morton, why must you always be asking
us togo for constitutionals; they'll be
the death of us!" And Nellie whom no
one had ever seen really provoked be
fore, gave him a cross glance, and then
went on a run, accompanied by the re
proved Morton, toward her friend,
while the others followed more or le s
ardently.
As faithful Nellie ran she discerned a
strange black cloud rolling towards them
all down the snowy road. Soon the mo
tion of two prancing horses became ap
parent, and as Nellie reached Genevieve's
prostrate form in the middle of the
road, over which Balkan was bending in
absorbed dismay, the plucky girl realized
that a runaway team was iu full swing
at a few yards' distance, and quite un
observed by anyone but herself and Cecil
Morton, who shouted to Nellie to have
a care and jump aside.
But this Nellie never thought of do
ing. On she ran, beyond Genevieve
whose danger was so immenent —and
what could she do to avert the danger?
Iu her muff was a ball ot snow, which
had been reduced by careful mauipula
tiou—under Morton's instructions—to an
icy consistency, capable as her teacher
had explained, of killing anybody, if
rightly aimed. It is by no meaus easy
to swerve the direction of a maddened
horse. But one of these was running
away because the other wanted to, and
he yet retained some common sense. At
any rate, Nellie drew forth her icy ball
in a twinkling, and hurled it. by good
luck, at the saner horse—for they were
now close at hand—with splendid vigor
and true aim that it hit him on the nose,
lie plunged a'ide, slipped on the hard
crust of the old. snow beside the road,
and keeled over, carrying his rampant
mate with him into the ditch. They
were a powerful team belonging to
Nellie's uncle, and were dragging an
empty wood sledge. Their driver was
hallooing in the distance, as he ran wear
ily along.
Nellie pondered a moment over the
success of her defence and gazed at the
quivering limbs of the foe, and then
turned back to Genevieve, panting. The
girls were on the bank at the other side
of the road.
Meantime Balkan had but just looked
up, realized the peril, and caught Gene
vieve in his arms, while Morton threw
his weight wildly upon the young man's
struggling shoulders. It is always iu
some such way that a person weak in
emergencies assists the real actors.
So swiftly did the runaway horses pro
ceed that it seemed only an instant since
Genevieve had fainted.
Now all the girls swooped down from
their perch helpfully and surrounded
their pale friend, whose swoon was so
much in earnest that she had not stirred
an eyelash. Nellie seized Balkan's hand
told him she inu9t speak with him in
stantly.
"Did you offer yourself?" she severely
demanded, when she had led him, per
emptorily, out of hearing of the others.
"No," he gasped, gazing blankly, as
a man does who is confronted with
more Greek than he is prepared for.
"Didn't you propose?" exclaimed
Nellie, in the same indignant tone,which
showed Balkan he was a criminal,which
ever way he pleaded.
"Do explain?" he quavered, gently.
But Nellie was off to Genevieve with
impertinent haste, kneeling down at ber
side, calling for soft snow from under a
drift and rubbing the beauty's temple
and lips with it, while she explained to
Morton how to got Genevieve's hands
warm; much to his satisfaction, for she
did not object to his covering them with
kisses.
The teamster came up, and Nollie
found time to scold him for his stupid
ity.
The horses were unhitched from the
sledge, and the youug people undertook
to drag Genevieve home, which the stout
poles at the sides of the conveyance as
sisted them to accomplish, as the girls
could take hold and propel, while the
young men dragged the cumbrous con
cern. The fair invalid was pillowed on
muffs and covered with newmarkets,and
was pleased to revive nicely. It was
first su»set and then deep dusk when
the catafalque slowly reached home.
It may be supposed that dinner was a
little late that evening.
Nellie came into the parlor before the
others, looking lovely in still another of
her fashionable frocks <tud Balkan was
waiting for her ready to pounce.
"Whatdid you mean?" he whispered.
Nellie's eyes, which looked big and
bright, because she had been crying all
jto herself, filled agaiu with tears. She
! edged away iuto the anteroom and h«
i followed.
"I meant," she replied sotto voice,
' "that when you love her, and she loves
you, and when you come out into the
backwoods and have plenty of oppor
tunities, and when we are all looking on
j from a respectful distance, it is perfectly
stupid of you not to offer yourself to
Genevieve, and I should have fainted and
: died both if I had been in her place.
| She showed great self-control not to
, have died. You had no business to
stipulate the tiee, anyhow, for of course
; she would expect everything to be settled
i before she got there. Oh, of course,
you think me outrageous to meddle with
: you and talk right out as if I were a
J novel, without respect of persons and
open secrets, but I'm nobody in par
! ticular. you know, and seeing that I love
Genevieve, I will put my finger into her
affairs if I like to. And I'll just add
1 this—that I'm going to arrange to havo
you both driven by the coachman to
night in the big sleigh while we are
portioned off to little cutters. The
driver's seat is way up."
"But my dear Miss Feitherly—
Nellie—"
"Now, don't be disrespectful. Of
course I can only ask for an outward
. shejw of respect after telling you to offer
yourself to my dearest frieird, whom wo
: all know you are hoping to win, but that
show of courtesy I stipulate for."
"But how can I ask Miss Chamberlain
lin marriage if I love you?" Balkan
squceezed in desperately.
Nellie sat down on the arm of a chair
and looked up at him aghast, blushing
and appealing.
"Oh, you can't be in love with me?"
she said, breathlessly.
"I wish you would not be so scornful.
You ought to have known it. Months
ago I was crazy about Genevieve, like
the rest; but only for a week, for then
1 met yffu. A man doesn't sit staring
all day at a girl unless lie loves her.
While I stare at you your utter indiffer
ence to me is something appalling but
I had hoped to win you in the end.
Then you take me by the throat, yank
me in front of somebody else, with
orders, martial in their haste, and now
cast me into a perfect sea of premature
ness; for, of course, you'll spurn my un
heralded revelation. But I'm as obsti
nate as you are, and love you I will, by
Jove!"
Balkan sat down on the other arm
chair, and being trim as a marble statue
for dinner, and not having time to brush
his liair again if he tore it a little, thrust
his thumbs into his pockets and glared
at the fire.
A feint rustle of heavy silk at his el
bow made him feel exultant.
"If she consents to it, you might pro
pose to me in the Kussiau sleigh, then."
He turned, and liei superb eyes met
his. He caught her hands and studied
her face with blissful care.
"I thought I was of no account," she
murmured, all of a tremble; and was
suddenly kissed in a way that made her
feel that for the future she had some
one to guard her against all harm, and
give her all the happiness she could wish
for.—New Orleans New Delta.
Redeeming Florida Land.
It is not generally known that thou
sands ot acres of land under water in
Florida are being gradually restored and
used for planting sugar cane and rice.
Hamilton Disston, of Philadelphia, the
well known manufacturer, has been in
terested in the reclamation of land
is Florida for many years. I saw him
recently at the Fifth Avenue Hotel and
i he said that the State gave the company
half of the land it restored.
I "Have many acres been redeemed?"
"Already several hundred thousand
I acres have been deeded to the company,"
he said, "and the work is still going on.
iWe have a sugar cane plantation con
taining ten thousand acres. The land
| produces the finest cane in the world,
and seed cane has to be used only once
iin a number of years. About six thou
| tand pounds of sugar are produced per
. acre, for which we usually get four cents
a pound.
"It is only a question of time when
nearly all the overflowed lands in Florida
will be reclaimed, and sugar and rico
will be produced in great quantities."—
New York Herald.
Terms—sl.2s in Advance; 51.50 after Hwree Mnthi
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL
Electric elevators increase.
There's an electric hammer.
Recent experiments have shown that
liquid oxygen is magnetic.
Steam locomotives are to be tried on
the Chicago (111.) street lines.
Tho best isinglass dissolves completely
in hot water,leaving no visible residuum.
The jeweler has drills so small that
they can bore a hole only one-thousandth
of an inch in diameter through a pre
cious stone.
The globular brass lantern, hitherto in
use for military service purposes, is to
be superceded by a folding lantern for
use in tents.
There is a new sanitarium in the Rivi
era of Italy for the inhalation of ozone
for the cure of most weaknesses,particu
larly tuberculosis.
The best material for hardening and
tempering malleable iron and steel goods
is said to be leather cinders, made by
burning waste leather.
Children are not numerous in France.
Out of 10,000,000 families in the Re
public one-fifth have no children at all
and another fifth have one child each.
The star Sirius, which is shown to be
about double the size of our sun, emits
from forty to sixty fold more light than
the sun, owing to its matter being much
more diffused.
Recent explorations in the district of
Sonora, Mexico., show that the coal de
posits in the San Mareial Valley will
amount to fully 60,000,000,000 tons and
it is of excellent quality.
Dr. Koch's lymph, according to the
results of the experiments communicated
to the last meeting of the Berlin (Ger
many) Society for Internal Medicine,
seems to have proved untrustwoitv, even
us a means of diagnosis for tuberculosis.
A French inventor has attached a tiny
incandescent lamp to an ordinary pencil
for use by reporters and others having
to take notes at night. The light is not
affected by rain or wind. The battery
is carried in the pocket, the wires pass
ing down the sleeve.
A novel method of testing the condition
of a horse's feet is to attach one termi
nal of a light battery to the bit and the
other to the shoe. If the foot is im
properly penetrated by the nails the ani
mal will squirm under the test, but will
give no token if there is no irritation.
The natives of Madagascar formerly
followed the moon in daterinining time,
but since the influx of missionaries the
CJueen issued an edict that the Christian
year should be followed. But in com
mencing the year the first year the dato
of the first day was set some time in
October and November.
The red color of the markings on
Jupiter is believed by Mr. Barnard, the
eminent astronomer, to he an indication
of their age, the spots or markings (other
than tho white spots) being dark or
black on first appearances, but afterward
becoming red. The great red spot seems
to be no exception to the rule.
The success of the existing electric
railway in London, England, has givcu
ail impetus to the movement tor loco
motion of a similar kind. For considera
tion during the forthcoming session of
Parliament there aie no fewer than five
bills which propose either tho construc
tion of new electric railways or the ex
tension of lines already authorized.
A Colorado man has devised an elec
trical machine that successfully operates
in placer deposits of gold that could not
be profitably worked by the sluice
methods. The employed for
saving the gold is -t of collecting it
by means of the electric current, so that
it forms an amalgam from which the
precious metal may be easily separated.
An Ingenious Ilolther.
Kuhn, the great German naturalist,
informs that in the .year 1799 some
monks who kept bees observing that
they made unusual noise lifted up the
hive, when au animal flew out, which to
their great surprise—for they at first
took it to be a bat—proved to be a
death's head hawk moth, and here Mem
bers that several, some years before, had
been found dead in the bee houses.
Ilubcr also, in 1804, discovered that it
made its way into his hives and those
of his vicinity and robbed them of their
honey.
In Atrica, we are told, it has the same
propensity, which the Hottentots observ
ing, in order to monopolize the honey of
the wild bees, have induced the colonists
to believe that it inflicts a mortal wound.
This moth has the faculty of emitting a
remarkable sound, which Huber sup
poses may produce on effect on the bees
somewhat similar to that produced by the
voice of their queen. As soon as ut
tered, this strikes them motionless, and
then the moth is enabled to commit with
impunity much devastation in the midst
of myriads of armed bands.—Cassel's
Magazine.
Singular Capture of a Swan.
John Jordan brought a large white
swan to Pendleton the other day, and
tells a queer story as to how he got it.
While near his house, on East Birch
Creek, he saw some eagles chasing the
swan in the air above him. The unfor
tunate bird, in its anxiety to escape, flew
directly over the young man's head, and
with a quick spring ho munaged to seize
and bring it down, the disappointed
eagles flying away.—PortUnd Or
egonian.
HO. 22.
J ED'S HORSEHAIR SNAKE.
Jeb took a horsehair every day and l'ushe®
down to the lake,
And threw it in and watched to see It change
into a snake;
He'il seen little snakes in puddles that
looked like horsehairs, so
Ho thought all horsehairs would be snakes
if they had time to grow.
Every time it rained the highway glearasd
with temporary lakes,
All perturbed with writhing horsehairs
which had been turned into snakes;
They looked like snakes, they looked like
hairs, and Jeb he said the rain
Had turned the horsehairs into snakes—'twas
easy to explain.
Bo ho put horsehairs in the lake and watched
from day today
To see them turn to wriggling snakes and
swim and crawl away,
But though he gazed intently with eyeball!
tense and strained.
The horsehairs still were horsehairs and as
horsehairs still remained.
Perhaps we all are much like Jod—beside
life's sheltered lakes
We watch for harmless horsehairs to turn
into noxious snakes,
The hissing vipers of the soul, the serpents of
the brain,
Are mostly fangless horsehairs and will ever
so remain.
—Sam Walter Foss, in Yankoe Blade.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A tumble-down affair—A wrestling
match.—Texas Sittings.
"The grent heir of fame"—"Lo, the
Conquering Hero Comes."
The chief attraction about a raiser is
his charming heirs.—Texas Sittings.
When a man takes a fatal step he is
sure to put his foot in it.—Pittsburg
Post.
Advice from the Century Dictionary,
page 4908.—"T0 pop the question. Set
pop."—Life.
An "ice jam'' is anything but a sweet
thing to the Maine logger.—Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
It is profitable to know one's self; but
there is money in knowing just how
others rate us.—Puck.
"A simple look is all I crave," said be.
"Gaze into yonder mirror and you'll get
it," said she.—New York Journal.
"Cecil Van Dunse gave me a piece of
his mind to-day." "I noticed you
weren't as brilliant as usual."—Truth.
When a man resolves to be good aud
patient the next pair of shoes ho buys
I are sure to pinch him.—Atchison Globe.
Setting a broken neck is a great feat
of surgery. Still it doesn't quite come
up to putting a head on a man.—Boston
Herald.
The world is full of men so engaged
in saying "Amen" that they fail to see
the contribution basket. ---Atchison
Globe.
The man who can't keep up with the
procession in this world mustn't expect to
enjoy the music of the band.—Elmira
Gazette.
Unwed—"What is this serveant-giri
question I hear so much about?" Benedict
—"How many nights nmy I have off?"
—Boston Post.
"Do you know, I don't think much
of Mawson!" "You don't have to. You
can size Mawson up in two seconds."—
Brooklyn Life.
An unpledged legislator may have "a
head of his own," but other men are
making desperate efforts to get his ear.—
Columbus Post.
Why Two Friends Parted: "Oh,
say, I know a good thing I'd like to put
you onto." "What is it?" "Ice."—
Indianapolis Journal.
Of all the fools, who leads tha van?
If it were put to vote
I think he'd be the silly man
Who jumps to catch the boat.
—Judge.
Debtor—"l can't pay you anything
this month." Collector—"That's what
you told me last month." Debtor
"Well,l kept my word,didn't I?" Texas
Sittings.
Judge (after the jury has acted against
his judgments in acquitting a man)—
"Give this man his liberty, but watch
your coats aud umbrellas."—Fliegende
Blaetter.
Things one would wish to express dif
ferently: "Well, good-by, Miss Smith.
Tell the others I was very sorry not to
find any one at home—a—a—a—except
you—a."—Punch.
There are people who have lived to
old age for no other reason apparently
than because they have never been able
among the multiplicity of diseases to de
cide which one to die of.—Boston Trau
script.
D'Aubique—"Miss Daggett was into
see my color studies yesterday, and said
she liked them immensely. What an
artless little creature she is." Siunick—
"That's what makes her like your paint
ing."—Boston Post.
Mr. Getup (of the firm of Getup it
Howell) —"Where in thunder is that
worthless office boy? Have you sent
him anywhere?" Mi. Howell—"Yes,
confound him I I've just sent him out to
find another job."—Chicago Tribune.
Undertakers are candid people. A
gentleman called at an establishment last
week and ordered an outfit for a funeral.
"Dr. Blank s»ent mc here," he said.
"Oh, yes," said the undertaker, "Dr.
Blank sends us all his work."—London
Till Bits.