A Pet Rooster. A Brooklyn (N. Y.) stoorkceper has the satisfaction of possessing a pet pe culiarly his own. It is a rooster, whoso nntics attract many people to his owner's shop. This bird is oftentimes seen on the sidewalk playing with the children, lie will let a stranger pick him up in his arms and stroke him, and enjoys the process with as much apparent delight as would a dog or cat. The owner of the bird is particularly attached to him, nnd appears to be one of tho proudest men in the city, going to and returning from his store with the rooster following him as would a pet dog. When tho owner reaches out his hand the bird jumps up to peck at it, and altogether they attract a good deal of attention.— Chicago Times. We have 2,000,01)0 acres in flax and hemp. Like Magic Is the relief given In mauy severe casea of dyspeptic troubles by Hood's Sarsapurllla. Possessing the best known stomaeh tonic© as w«li as the best alterative remedies, this excellent medicine gives the stomach the strength required to retain and digest nourish ing food, creates A Good Appetite and gently but effectively assists to natural motion the whole machinery of the body. Most gratifying reports come from people who have taken Hood's Sarsaparilla for dyspepsia. Indigestion and similar troubles. ilood'n Pills*—For the liver and bowels, act eas ily yet promptly and efficiently. Price, 2.Vx Nothing On Earth Will MAKfc HENS C LIKE Sheridan's Condition Powder! It l« absolutely pure. Highly concentrated. In quan tity it costs iriw than a tenth of a cent a day. Strictly • medicine. Prevent* and cures all dlw?fuWß. Oood rot voung chicks. Worth more than Gold when hens moult If you can't gtt it send to us. Sample 35 cents, tlve gl.oo Sample Copy Hest Poultry Paper Bent frre. 1.8. JOHKBOy A CO.. 22 Custom House St., Boston. Masa. FvebyWotheb Should Have It lu The Honne. Uropped on Sui/ar, Children Love Johnson's Anodyne Liniment And tike It fcr Crcup, Cells, Sirs Tkroit. Crtmps, Falsi. Stops Inflammation, in bodv or limb, like magic. Cures Coughs. Asthma, Catarrh, Colic, Cholera Morbus, Rheu matic 1 fains. Neuralgia, Ume Back. Stiff Joints. Strains, Illustrated Book free. Price, 8S cents; Six fa 00. Sold by draw lata I. JOHNSON & CO., Boston, Masa y Y N U—l R. R. R. QADWAY'S H READY RELIEF. CUBES AND PREVENT* Colds, Coujhs, Sore Throat, Influenza Bronchitis, Pneumonia, Swelling of the Joints, Lumbago, Inflammations, Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Frostbites, Chilblains, Headache, Toothache, Asthma, DIFFICULT BREATHING. CURESTHE WORST PAINS In from 0110 to twenty minutes. NOT ONE HOUK after reading this ad vertisement need any one SUFKKH WITH I'AIN. Ready Relief IN a ?*ure Cure lor livery Pain, Muruius, lll'Ulmcm, l'uiiia lu tlic llacli, (best or ijimbn. It wu< I lie Kirnt iiud IM the (Inly I'AIN REMEDY That Instantly stops the most excruciating pains allays lufluiiunut lou, and cures Congestions,whether of the LUIIKS, Stomach, Bowels, or other glands or organs, by one application. A half to a teuspoonful In half a tumbler of water WIU in a few minutes euro Cramps, Spasms, Sour stomach. Heartburn, Nervousness, Sleeplessuess, Sick Headache, iMnrrhtea, Dysentery, Colic, Flatu lency and all internal uulns. There Is not u remuaiai iu'om t in the world that will cure Fever and aud all other Malurious, Bilious nud other fevers, aided by R All \V AV'S PI L LS, so quick as RADWA Y'S REA 11 k RELIEF. Filly ecu IN per bottle* >ol«l by l)ruiiiiiit«« V RE S*t'R E TO (JET ItAI) WAV'S. Many a life has been lost 'because of the taste of cod liver oil. If Scott's Emulsion did nothing ntore than take that taste away, it would save the lives of some at least of those that put off too long the means of recovery. It does more. It is half digested already. It slips through the stomach as if by stealth. It goes to make strength when cod-liver oil would be a burden. SCOTT fk DOWNS, Chemists, 139 South sth Arenue, New York. Your druggist keeps Scott's Emulsion of coddiver oil—all druggists everywhere do. ft. «4 Ely's Cream BaImBSSS Is worth 8300 to any inHC^ 0 ] MAN, WOMAN OB CHILD Buffering from fr" S CATARRH. Apply Balm into each nostril. KI.Y HK< »S. t r,t\ Wurr.ii St ~ N. y. •••••••••#• THE SMALLEST PILL IN THE WORLD i • tutt'S : •TINY LIVER PILLS® • have nil the virtues of the larger ones; equally effretlvej purely vegetable* V Exact itlzc shown In thU border. ••••••••••« GET V/P.lil, FREE Loan Your Mnnov V" K,rßt LUdll I OUr ItIOIICj famous "Arkannas Vuiley" or Kansas. There lire :t«> safer reeuritleH. Write I" A. HUNKEIi, IliitclihiMOu. Kmmas. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE STORIES THAT ABE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PBESS. A Paradox—An Unbroken Record— A Point ot Similarity—Hasten 1 Slowly—Prudent, Kto. She Is so fair! And yet to mo She is unfair As she can be. Were she less fair, I should be free; Or less unfair, Her slave I'd be. Fair and unfair I Ah I woe is met So ill I fare. Farewell't will be. —Somerville Journal. A DAUBER'S AMBITION. " What school does he belong to?" "He's an impressionist." •'lndeed!" "Yes, he trys to convey the impression that he is an artist." A FAM ELY COMPLAINT. Energetic Man—"Tom, you're the laziest man I have even seen. You are always leaning on a fjate!" Lazy Man—"l don't think I'm lazy. I left my brother at home; he said he was too tired to lean on a gate!" AN UNBROKEN RECORD. Dinguss (meeting him unexpectedly) —"Shadbolt, I owe you an apology for—" Shadbolt—"Don't break your record, Dinguss, by trying to pay anything you owo me. Good afternoon."— Chicago Tribune. IIABTEN SLOWLY. Saidso—"Dozely takes a two-hour nap every day after dinner." Ilereso—"Doesn't he ever overslecpl" Saidso—"No; he rings for a messen ger before he lies down, and when tho messenger arrives it wakes him up."— New York Sun. HE WENT TOO SLOW. Tom—"The old inaa caught mo kiss ing Alice last night." Ned—"l'm surprised. You ought to go slow about such things." "Why, I went altogether too slow about it! That's how I got caught."— Baltimore Herald. A POINT OP SIMILARITY. Mrs. Dix—"Mrs. De Gush's baby is quite a remarkable child; he eats just like an old man." Mrs. Hicks—"Why, the little dear hasn't a tooth in his head." Mrs. Dix—"No; that's what I said." —New York Herald. A LLURIT OP CONFIDENCE. "Your mother, I understand, has been very ill, Thomas." "Yessir." "Is she mending, Thomas?" "Mendin'? No, indeedy! She 9aid I could [go without clothes before she would sew another stitch."— Life. A FREAK'S PARADOX. Visitor at Dime Museum—"What makes you go without food and destroy your digestion by these fasting exhibi tions?" Professional Faster (indignantly)— •'Humph! I've got to get my bread and butter in some way, haven't I?" CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. Miss Fitzogre—"Well, good-bye, Per cival, and be a good boy!" Percival (a very good boy, who has just been specially warned not to make personal remarks about people in their presence)—" Good-bye. I'll not tell nurse what I think of your noso till you're gone!"— l'unch. TIIE INGENUOUS EDITOR. Ambitious Authoress—"Since you aro an editor, do tell me, please, if so many manuscripts are thrown right into the waste basket, as people say they are." Editor—"Well, no; we don't always hit the waste basket. Sometimes we throw 'em so hard tliatjhey go onto the floor."— St. Louis Star-Sayings. ROMANCE IN A CITY SHOP. Briggs—"Did you hear about Miss Grosgrain? She lias married a dry goods clerk. They met, he woo'd and won her, and so they were married." Griggs—"Why,when did this all hap pen?" Briggs—"While she was waiting for the change."— Clothier and Furnisher. A MATTER FOR CONSULTATION. A little girl aged nine called her father to her bedside the other evening. "Papa," said the little diplomat, "I want to ask your advice." "Well, my little dear, what is it about?" "What do you think it would be best to give me on my birthday?"— Texas Sljlings. PRUDENT. Mother—"Now children, which one took that cake? You two were the only ones in the room." Ivy—"Tommy took It. I saw him with my own eyes." Mother—"Why didn't you come at once and tell me?" Ivy—"'Cos I was afraid he'd eat it all up while I was away."— Onee-A-Week. HE WENT THE WHOLE CALF. Judge (to prisoner)—" You say that you were driven by hunger to commit this crime?" Prisoner—"Just so, Your Honor." "But a hungry man is not likely to *teal a whole calf?" "I know that; but I didn't have my pocket-knife with me, or I'd have only cut off a few pounds."— Texas Siftings. THE CZAR'S DOMESTIC FA MI NR. The Czarina—"Alex, there's a plot against us, right hero in our own house* hold. The Czar (carelessly)—."Oh, I'm get ting used to that sort of thing." The Czarina—"But this is the most dastardly plot yet." The Czar—"What is it?" The Czarina (in awful whisper)— "The cook is going to leave."— Life. TOOK JDBT THE OPPOSITE COURBE. First Dr.—"Old Jones is the meanest man in town." Chorus of Other Drs.—"Why, I never heard him called that before." First Dr.—'Well,'he is; he came to mo for professional advice about a year I told him he was all run down, that ha would have to give up business or die in three weeks, and he has worked almost night and day ever since."— Life. CUT HIB EYE-TEETH. Mr. Ootham—"Come back East to live, eh? What was the matter with Dugout City?" Returned Veteran "Too noisy. Couldn't sleep." Mr. Ootham (to himself) —"That town must bo booming." Returned Westerner—"l'm not going back there again. I'm going to sell out." Mr. Gotham (hastily)—"Put the figure low and I'll buy." ♦ • Mr. Gotham (a month later) —"See here! That property you sold mo in Dugout City isn't worth taxes. Tho town is dead, and grass growing in tho streets. You said you left because it was so noisy there you couldn't sleep." Returned Westerner (innoceutly)— "Y-e-s. Can any one sleep with forty million frogs singing under his win dow?"— New York Weekly. SHE EXCUSED IUM. It was at the New York entrance to the bridgo. It was raining, and be had been waiting there for twenty minutes with an umbrella. Tho police winked at each other as they tumbled to the pro gramme, and half a dozen newsboys ceased yelling to watch for tho climax. By and by a pretty girl catno dancing downstairs from the Brooklyn train, and she had no umbrella. Here was the golden opportunity. She was within ten feet of the street when the man with tho umbrella headed her oil, raised it over her jaunty littlo hat, and said. "Ah—excuse me—l beg to offer, you know I" "Oh, certainly—many thanks I" sho replied, and taking tho umbrella from his hand sne sailed away, dowu Park Row and left him standing there and looking after her with open mouth. Some of the boys said something about getting left, and after standing for awhilo like one struck dumb by news of a great misfortune, ho slowly crossed over to the City Hall side and disap peared from sight in the midst of a fresh dawnpour.— Neu> York World. A Youthful Jack Sheppard. "What shall wo do with our boy?" was a question plaintively put to tho magistrate of tho North London Polico Court by tho authorities of the local workhouse, who are charge! with the safekeeping of a youth named Arthur Hastings until his presence is required in a court of justice to auswer a charge of stealing and maining pigeons. Arthur is a complete problem in him self, although he is only nine years of age. Over the affair of the pigeons ho boldly swam the River Lea in the vain attempt to escape arrest. Locked up in a workhouse room forty feet from tho ground ho utilized the bedclothes as a rope, climbed out of the window aud got away. Recapture followed. Ho was next put into a chamber of which tho window was nailed up,but with patienco and ingenuity that provo how strongly the love of liberty is implanted in his youthful breast he managed to pick out the nails with his fingers. Once moro using au extemporized bedclothes rope he decended the forty feet intervening be tween him and freedom and escaped. With some trouble ho was agaiu cap tured. This time tho workhouse au thorities deprived him of his clothing and placed him in a cell, also forty feet above the ground, of which the window was guarded by iron bars only six inches apart. But between the stanchons he managed to squeeze his body; once moro made his bed sheets into a rope and got away. An eclipse is thus threatened to the fame of Jack Shcppard. The workhouse authorities asked the magistrate to relievo them of their difft. cult charge and to send him to prison instead. Mr. Bros declined tho appli cation; they were responsible for him and must keep him safe. Perhaps they have a padded room unoccupied and a struitjacket?— London Telegraph. Money in Roses. "If you want to make money and at the same time enjoy your work," said a man, "raise roses. Wheu I moved into the country I built a conservatory to grow rosea, for I am very fond of them. From time to time I built additions to my hothouses, and in time found that I was raising more roses than I knew what to do with. So I began to sell them. I learned that there was a good winter de mand for them; in fact, a very strong demand. I was able to command prices which seemed marvelous. Now I make large winter shipments regularly, and I havo paid for my hothouses and all the labor expended on them many times over, and what I call my 'Uower bank account' has reached a very respectable size."— Neie York lFi mend it to all and have made ft the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale In 600 and $1 bottles by all leading drug* gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIO SYRUP COL UAH FRANCISCO, CAL. ) t§MIIU£. KV. new row. "German Syrup" " I have been a great Asthma. sufferer from Asth ma and severe Colds every Winter, and last Fall my friends as well as myself thought because of my feeble condition, and great distress from constant cough ing, and inability to raise any of the accumulated matter from my lungs, that my ti- was close at hand. When nearly worn out for want of sleep and rest, a friend recommend ed me to try thy valuable medicine, Boschee's German Gentle, Syrup. I am con- D . oW „„ fident it saved my Refreshing life A i raost the first Sleep. dose gave me great relief and a gentle re freshing sleep, such as I had not had for weeks. My cough began immedi ately to loosen and pass away, and I found myself rapidly eaining in health and weight. I am pleased to inform thee—unsolicited —that I am in excellent health and do cer tainly attribute it to thy Boschee's German Syrup. C. B. STICKNEY, Picton. Ontario." 55 ■ I ■ V | rMl There is reported to be enough coal in Colorado to supply Kansas and Ne braska. • 100 Reward. 8100. ThftVeaders of this paper will be pleased to lenru that there 1B at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to care in all Its stages, and that is catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is the only positive cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a con stitutional disease, requires a constitutional treatment. Kail's Catarrh Cure is taken in ternally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby de stroying the foundation of the disease, and giving the patient strength by building up the constitution and assisting nature In doing it« work. The proprietors have so much faith In its curative powers that they offer One Hun dred Dollars for any case that It fails to cure. Send for list of testimonials. Address F. J. CHEHEY & Co., Toledo, O. |S" Sold by Druggists, 76c. FOR TnnoAT DISEASES AND Cocons use RROWN'S BRONCHIAL TROCHES. Like all reallu good things, they are Imitated. The genuine are sold only In boxes. Mothers should watch carefully those signs of ill health in their daughters,and at once use Lydla E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. It will prove a lasting blessing. The Convenience of Bond Trains, The Erie Is the only railway running solid trains over Its own tracks between New York and Chicago. No change of cars for any class of passengers. Hates lower than via. any other flrat-claas line. wise luoinera Use Dr. Hoxsle's Certain Croup Cure, the only remedy lu the world that will cure a violent case of croup In half an hour. No opium. Sold by druggists or mailed on receipt of 6U eta. Ad dress A. I*. Hoxsle, Buffalo, N. Y. FITS stopped tree by DA. KLINE'S GREAT NERVE RESTORER. NO fits after first day's use. Marvelous cures. Treatise and $2 trial bottle free. Dr. Kline. flßl Arch St.. Phlla.. Pa. DR. SWAN'S I 1 ASTII.ES Cwrt female ireaknemten; his T-Tablets cure chronic constipation. Sam ples free. Dr. Swan, Beaver Dam, Wis. WHO SUFFERS with his liver, constipation, bilious ills, poor blood or dizziness—tnko Beeeham's Pills. Of druggists. 2ft cents. Many modest women suffer rather than ap py to a physician; Lyilia E. Pinkham's Vego tabe Compound has saved thousands of such from lives of misery and early graves. Read Star Stretohor advt. In this paper. FARMERS: LOOK OUT!... Jll%f> Xorx are exposed to sudden changes of temperature, and to Injuries* ST. JACOBS OIL Cures HEUMATISM, I SPRAINS, BRUISES, CUTS, WOUNDS. SORENESS, STIFFNESS, SWELLINCS, BACKACHE, NEURALGIA. SCIATICA, BURNS. A PROMPT AND PERMANENT CURE. DR. TALMACE'S "LIFE OF CHRIST." Covering hie groat trip To, Through, and from the C hrlfU-Land. Illustrated with ovor 400 wooder ful engravings, also a grand picture at Jerusalem on the day of tho crucifixion, in 12 colors am? ten feet in length. Exclusive temtory Nocapital needed. IIIGPAY. Also sond names and P. O. of 9 agents or those | APCWTC lA/ANTEH OXII ° wor * and get Talmago'u Illartrated Biography FRRB. lUUlJßutllio TffllllfcU. Address HISTORICAL PUB. CO,, Phila Pa. Sftt!i%siSi t D iname?s, and Paints which stain the hands, injure the iron, and burn off. The Rising Sun Stove Polish Is Brilliant, Odor less, Durable, and the consumer pays for no tin or glass package with every purchase. GOLD MEDAL, PARIS, 187& W. BAKER & CO.'S JlßreaMast Cocoa _ from which the excess of oil TKIBy hus been removed, absolutely pure and MwMmi it is soluble, I/Tm NO Chemicals JUT I \,\ \\ arc used in its preparation. It Iffl < lilft aB ,nore three times the IH Ij | mil strength of Cocoa mixed with Rfl fl In Arrowroot or ttugar, y| j j Kll and ia therefore far more eco» ffmj I J || 14 nomical, costing less than one My ' IIJJ centacup. Ills delicious, nonr ishlng, strengthening, EASILY DIGESTED, and admirably adapted for invalids aa well as for persons in health. Sold by Grocers everywhere. W. BAKER & CO., Dorchester, Hast IF Yob don't want comfort If you am n dont with to look well droned. §A JKfl II you don't want the beat, then D you don't want the Laco Back JT\J* ■ Suspender. Your dealer hat It if HWf V] he it alive. If he isn't he shouldn't J is jSB be your dealer. Wo will mail a j/»I Ba pair on receipt of SI.OO. None flifSyl genuine without the stamp aa §mV W.H Lace n«rk Snepender Co., a A AA 67 l'rlnc. Ktreet, N. *. ri» (rn^ . INVESTMENTS. Dividends pnlil quarterly on fully paid certltlcates(sloU each). Paid ui> Htook double# in yrs. £ a 112 All guaranteed by deposit of first mort w gagesou Improved real estate and with drawable after 1 year, if desired. Safest Investment known. Write for full information—you want It. Eastern Building & Loan Association, Syracuse, X.Y. WsWsnt Mama and ■ sWl.lkif il Address of Every 111*111 IMF. 1 ABTHMATIO I CURED TO STAY CURED. | BUFFALO, w. Y. trUCIAU'H | " > W.MOKKIS, IbNdlwll Washington, D.C. 'Successfully Prosecutes Claims. Late Principal Ex&mlner U.S. Pension Bureau. 3.vrsiu last war. 15abjudicatingclaims, atty since. lA| an u«| Calaaman to seil stores O'KPOIP'H wanted salesmen <>. k. shoe mucking. The finest in the world. Good commissions. O'KEEFE & CO., Pittsburgh, Pa. 67fiA ,n Prhts- Word Contsst. Jlk ■■III For details send 2e. stamp to W. 11. I Www# KRAMBR & CO., Chsnnts, Kansas. ffefiailifl Morphine Habit Cared In 10 OPIUM TWO TEAMS on the (•tu'Mtauri l«'ore*tluo THE POOR MAM'S FRIESD WILL PLOW AN ACRE DOING THIS. UHual tlme,becaiuc the Byr« ■■■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■§ m IN HALF THE WHO IS HE? TIME OK Almost a «i cite bottle ami a AMK _ _ _ IfSe. Planter, lu ouc wrapper, ON E TEA AM ■ dny* longer. YOUR DEALER. We are anxious to know every one who wants a piano, new or second-hand. Are you one of them? Then send your address, with request for catalogue, eta, to Ivers & Pond Piano Co., Boston "How do I look?" That depends, madam, upon bow you feel. If you're suffering from functional disturbances, irregulari ties or weaknesses, you're sure to " look it." And Dr. Pierce's Fa vorite Prescription is the remedy. It builds up and invigorate* the system, regulates and promotes the proper functions, and restores health and strength. It's a legitimate medicine, not a beverage ; purely vegetable, perfectly harmless, and made especially for woman's needs. In the cure of all "female com plaints," it's guaranteed to give sat isfaction, or the money is refunded. No other medicine for women is sold so. Think of that, when tho dealer says something else (which pays him better) is "just as good." " Times have changed." So have methods. Tho modern improve ments in pills are Dr. Pierce's Pleas ant Pellets. They help Nature, in stead of fighting with her. Sick and nervous headache, biliousness, costiveness, and all derangement* of the liver, stomach and bowels are prevented, relieved, and cured. pBTOBIAs UNEXCELLED AFFLIEU EXTERNALLY >OR Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Pains In tbg Limbs, Baci or Chest, Mumps, Son Throat, Colds, Sprains, Bruises, Stings of insects, Mosquito Bites. TAKEN INTERN ALLY It nctn like n charm for Cholera Morbus, Dlnrrhara, Dysentery, Colic, tramp*, Nau« ben, ifondacbe, iVc. Warranted perfectly harmless. (See oath nrcompanylug each bottle, also directions lor use.) its SOOTHINt- and PENETKA* TlNii qualities are lolt immediately. Trr It aud be convinced. Trice and «iO cents, Mold by all dray* rists. DEPOT. 40 MURRAY ST.. NEW YORK N Y N U—l is having such s tremendous salt* day* Retail* for sl. Price to OK«*ut« do*. Outfit prepaid. 38c., or '""H—JJgi'at. lwo. 10c. and pay "iV*. when It oomes. Cuvumrs frsc. . you wish an A, No. 1 llrstrdass filing article, add ess P. H. Run dell A Co., Mfro., Mornvla. N. Y., or Lemont, 111. UICHFIVEOR EUCHRE PARTIES II should gend at once to JOHN SKPABTIAN, O. T. A. C.. R. I. AP. R. R., Chicago. TEN CENTO, In stamp®, per pack for the slickest cards you ever shuffled. For gl.oOyou will receive free by express ten packs. SIOO.OO IN COLO will bo paid for one million cancelled postage stamps. An easy way to raise money for charity work. Send stamp for particulars. Hare stamps and collections bought. C. H. MEKEEL, 1009 Locust St., St. Louis. - CPND for our list of 19 Cat* nloun of Music and ■ffipßHF" - MUSICAL Instruments. W. STORT, 26 Central St., BOSTON, Mass. VfAyC ST Vl> Y, BOOH-KEKPIJJO, Business Fbrma, M UlvIC Drnmnnship, Arith'netic, etc. U TIIOROUOMLY TAUOUTBV MAIL. Circulars fro J llryunt's College. 457 Main St., Buffalo, N. 112 A UPIITC ni*k». ( t. and win«««S C ASH IMUZKi fl 11 kit I don inv corseU<.be]ts,bruahet< and medicines Ml Sample fret*. Territory. Ur. Itrlrigaiaa, 373 B'way, N. Y. A lIOU PILLOW-SHAM HOLDER? BBBBXw AUKNTS Wanted. S3TO 85 A|l|V IF ILLY ■ O.W. NUTTING . Brockton, Mass..*** IT WANTED! Salesmen for Nursery Stock. Ad dress the ONTARIO NURSERIES, Geneva, N. Y. ■ Plso's Remedy for Catarrh is the ■■ Rest. Easiest to Use. and Cheapest. ■ Sold by druggists or sent by mall. 00c. E. T. Ilazeltine, Warren, Pa. H