Jerked Beef. Jerked beef was formerly much used by herders and travelers in the South west. It is preserved by drying in the eun. The cattle are slaughtered when iu good condition, and the fleshy parts dexterously pared oil in such a manner us to resemble a succession of skins taken from the same animal. These sheets of flesh, when exposed to the hot sua and dry air of the plains, are dried or sun-cured before decomposition sets in, and in that state can be kept almost any length of time. The beef is some times dipped into brine or rubbed with salt before being dried. Jerked beef is of Chilian orgin, and is now made iu large quantities iu other pnits of South America. It is much used to feed the colored people who work the cane and cotton plantation of Cuba.— St. Louis Republic. Prevention Ib better than cure, nud people who are subject to rheumatism, can prevent attacks by keeping the blood pure am! free from the acid which causes the disease. This suggests the use of Hood's Sarsa pnriila, unquestionably the best blood purifier, and uliich has been used with preat success for this nsry purpose by many people. Hood's Sarsaparllla has also cured Innumerable oases of rheumatism of the severest sort, by its powerful effect In neutralising acidity ol" the blood, Uul euahliug the kidneys and liver to properly re ntcve the waste of the system. Try it. "Hood's Santfaparilla has done me more good i2**o else that I have ever taken, and I (Measure in recommending it iu the highest •Srtns." FREDERICK MILLER, Limerick Centre, l*a. Hood's SarsapariMa told l))- all druggists. $1; six for sr>. Prepared only uy <■'. >. H< mHi »V •"<>.. Apothecaries, 1...we11. Sheridan's Condition Powders Ii you to us. We mail one pack 2>. Fivo sl. A 2 1-4 lb. can $1.20. Rix, 112. Ex. paid. Poulfry Itaisinu Guide, free, with SI orders. R JOHNSON AGO., 22 OuHtom St., i tost on, Mass. Ely's Cream Balm pits •JI ICKLV CIJUEH S£g L £>iNHtf2 COLD ill HEADgN^j Apply Balm Into cneh nostril. ELY BROS., SO Warren St., X.Y. At--^. " All she lacks of beauty is a little plumpness." This is a frequent thought, and a wholesome one. All of a baby's beauty is due to fat, and nearly all of a woman's —we know it as curves and dimples. What plumpness has to do with health is told in a little book on CAREFUL LIVING; sent free. Would you rather be healthy or beautiful? "Both" is the proper answer. Scorr & BOWNE,Chemists, 13aSouth sth Avenue, New York. Your druggist keeps Scott's Emulsion of cod-liver oil—all druggists everywhere do. §». 2a N Y N U- If) R. R. Ft. DADWAY'S II READY RELIEF. CURES AND PREVENTS Colds, Coughs, Sore Throat, Influenza, Bronchitis, Pneumonia, Swelling of tho Joints, Lumbago, Inflammations, Rheumatism, Neuralgia* Frostbites, Chilblains, Headache, Toothache, Asthma, DIFFICULT BREATHING. CURES THE WORST PAINS in from ono to twenty minutes. NOT ONE HOUR after reading this ad vertisement need auy ono SUFFER WITH PAIN. Itadwiiy'M Heady Kelief in a >ure Cure tor Every Pain, Sprain-, Knitae*, Pains iu (lie Hack, Cheat or Limbit. It wa* the Kil'Mt ami in the Only PAIN HE.HKDY That Instantly stops the most excruciating pain*, allays inflammation, and cures Congestions, whether of the Lungs, Stomach, Bowels, or other klauds or organs, by one application. A half to a teaspoonful in half a tumbler of water will in a few nihility cure Cramps, Spasms, Sour Stomach, Heartburn, Nervousness, Sleeplessness, Sick Headache, Diarrhoea, Dysentery, Colic, Flatu lency and all internal pains. There is not a remedial agent In the world that will cure Fever and Ague and all other Malarious, IMlious and other fevers, aided bv HA lIWA Y'S PI IJIJS, so quick as It AI) W A Y'S It EA I) Y It E LIEF. Fifty cenlN per bottl<». Sold by Druggists. | V li E SURE TO KET it A I)\VA Y'S. DROPSY!! Positively Cured irlth Vegetable Remedies llavn cured t huusan dn of cases. Cure patients i»r.- noilnepd bopele-idhv bent physiciana. From tirht don. symptoms rapidly disappear; in lu days two third* of nl symptoms removed. S» trcnlmetit tree t>> mail. If y»»u order trial, st-n'l We, in *-tanipt> to pay pobt •£«. DR. H. H. CikKKN& SONN. Ga AIAU Weak, Nkrvous, Wiikicukd nioruila k"i J\M a K well mid keop will. Health Ucl,*r tells how. NJct*. n year. ."-ample Iree. I»r. J. 11. I)VK. KUitor. ImiTalo, N. Y. KANSAS FARMS iSH Kood prices. Farms for salo at bargains. List fro.) CM AS. It. WOOL LEY. Osborne. Ran, II(IMP ST I' OYjB >.»K-Ki:i:i-r. Bwinma n wmt itoimnnsbip, Arithni ftir. Short-hand, etc., MM THOROUGHLY TAVOHTBY .HA IL. Circulars free BiTMt'w (oil fur, m.i.ii r. tiuifftlu 1 WANTED, A MAN foi pen tanent position with a reliable house; k<*m! wages from the start and rapid promotion to right man. incluse » cents f«ir full particulars. SHREVEP* >RT, LA. llox I Mi. M Sample fiv**. Territory. I>r. ItrllsiiiMii. .t;.t It'way, N. Y. '|Mt A PI*EItS .SAW/)your Kprhand SKINS to GEO. I M. EMMANS, Newton.N,J.,forhighestcavil "Hno THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Two Hypocrites—Ashixned—Hopeless —Great. Cut lit Pricss-Amoii); the Freaks—A Noble Lad, Etc., Etc. She sat in her cosey chamber. With the curtains all drawn tight, Curled up in a great, big rocker, Fair and sweet in ti»e soft lamp light. A. bon-bon box on the table. With choicest of sweets was filie l, Which she daintly nibbled while writing The words that her lover thrilled: "Oh, I long for you now, my darling! Without you my life seems drear, There is never a bit of comfort For me unless you ara near I" And her iover read the letter, As he sat in his bachelor's den, With his feet cocked up on the inantlo, In the usual way of men, With a box of cigars at his elbow, And a pipe and a glass near near by, And the smoke-clouds wreathed above him As he echoed her louely cry • "Oh, I long for you now, my darling 1 Without you my life seems drear, There is never a bit of comfort For mo unless you are near!" —Somerville Journal. ASHAMED. ''What a beautiful red rose that is." "Yes—it's probably blushing at the price they ask for it."— Life. HOVEI.ESB. "What on earth is Jimmic crying about now?" asked papa. "He wants to givo bis gold, fish a bath," returned mama.— Puck. GREAT CUT IN PRICES. Stranger—"What's the crowd going into that store for. Anybody hurt." "Native—No, bargain day. Silks have been reduced from $1.25 to $1.21 a yard."— Yankee Blade. AMONG THE FREAK?. "I'm very foud of travel," said the fat lady to the wild man of Borneo. "Ever been abroad?" "No. To tell the truth, I ain't never been out o' New York," replied the wild man.— Life. A NOBLE I/AD. Mrs. O'Toole—"Faith, it's my Tim that's the noble lad!" Mrs. O'Call—"ls he thin?" Mrs. O'Toole—"He is that. Thsrc's ne'er a boy in the whole ward can give the polace the shlip as well as he can." —Yankee Blade. OUR FLEXIBLE ENGLISH. Gildersleeve—"Cubbage must be an expert machinist." Winebiddle—"What makes you think that?" Gildersleeve—"When he left me this afternoon he said he had but ten minutes to make a train."— Detroit Free Prcus. ECONOMY. Mrs. Goodman—"l think, dear, we must exercise a little more economy in the household expenses." Mr. Goodman—"Yes, my love, and in other ways also. I think we had better not give any more money for charitable purposes for at least a year to come."— Yankee Blade. NATURE'S HOSE CART. Insurance Magnate—"l think you had better cancel some of our big risks at Tindervillo." Policy Cleric—"What is the trouble?" Insurance Magnate—"A blank just came in with the question: 'What pro tection have you from fire?' answered, 'lt raius sometimes.' " — Pack. UNGRATEFUL. Clerk—"l've worked for you many years, but aside from my meagre salary what tangible benefit have I received?" Employer—"Let's sec; tangible is to touch, isn't it? Well, you've touched millions of money here since you first came. Come, now, what more could you expect? Don't be ungrateful."— Button, Tranteript. THE BAD BOY. Schoolmaster—"l came to see you about your son, Mr. Brown." Brown—"What has he been doing?" Schoolmaster—"Nothing wrong; and that is just what I wish to speak with you about. He has been so unusually good of late that I have grave fears for his mental condition. I suggest that you consult a doctor immediately."— Yankee Blade, BROKE UP THE PARTY. Husband—"Why, tho guests are all leaviug!" Wife—"Yes, and it isn't late,cither." Hushand—"What is tho matter, I wonder?" Wife—"l don't know, and it's too bad, for I just told them I was going to have Maria goto the piano and siug 'Comrades' ' for them."— Neto York Prcin. A CAREFUL OBSERVER. An Irish bricklayer was one day brought iuto the hospital severely in jured by a fall from a housetop. The medical man in attendance asked at what hour the accident occurred. "Two o'clock, yer honor," was the reply. On being asked why he came to fix the hour so accurately, he answered: "Because I saw the people at «linncr through the window as I was coming down."— Philadelphia JiaearJ, HE TOUCHED HER PRIDE. Wandering Willie—«'So you won't gimme me nothing to stay the pangs of hunger. All right-, 1 kin go in next door au' git some of the best bread that was ev;r made. I don't believe there's no woman in the world that kin make as good bread as that is." Ij uly of the House—"ls that so? Now. 1 want to tell you that you're mis taken. Come rigbt in here and try some of initio, and if you don't say it's twice us good as that heavy stuff she makes I'll miss my guess. The *dea."— Boston News. CtmiNG a bad HAnrr. The boys were suspicious that Professoi Spire had formed the habit of tfoini; up stairs every evening about 9 :30 o'clock to creep along the halls in his stocking feet and listen at their doors. They thought, however, that his case was not incurable if strong measures were taken. They made their preparations and then waited iu silent expectation. When Professor Spire came out of his room and began to mount the stairs, a cold, galvanized carpet tack penetrated his very soul. lie uttered a subdued howl of agony and sat down on the step above to investigate. But tacks were there also, and they began to investigate before he did. He rose with promptness, and this time the howl was not subdued. Doors flew open and anxious faces looked down from above. "What is it?" gasped the professor's pet, a beautiful blue eyed lad, who scorned to do a base act. He had re fused to contribute more than a cent toward buying tacks. "Nothing seriou?," replied the pro fessor, with a dismal effort at cheerful ness. "I found the wind rather me going up these stairs and had just started on auother tack, that's all. But it is almost 10 o'clock, and yacht to be abed, boys."— Boston Post. Wet Feet Cause Colli. The dispensaries are crowded with women and children who have caught cold. The doctors have all sorts and degrees of rheum to attend to, from the sniffling, wheezing small boy to the coughing and straining old man. One of the physicians said to a Sun reporter: "If these people would only have sense enough to keep their feet dry they would be all right. I tell you that wet feet fill more graveyards than an epidemic of cholera. All the children that came in here to-day with swollen eyes and heads stopped up bad wet feet. It's the same way with men. You would think that au intelligent business man would know enough to take care of himself, but he doesn't. The average New Yorker goes down town and tramps around in the wet until his feet are cold and damp. He gets into a perspiration and goes back to his office, where he takes oil his coat and sits in his shirt sleeves. There is not an office in this city where there is not a draught, and that man will find that draught and sit in it. Then lie sneezes a few times and says: 'I will catch cold if I sit this way any longer.' He does not appreciate the fact that he has caught cold already. "When he goes home, instead of put ting on dry socks and warm slippers, he takes a drink of hot whisky. Now, what connection is there between hot whisky and a cold in the head? None. He gets into auother perspiration, and the chances are that he will catch more cold. "With the women it is all the same way. Take the young girls you see tramping about in the mud of Fifth ave nue and Broadway. Nine out of ten have got on low shoes. Is it surprising that they have colds? They have not hail time to lay in their winter stock of foot wear, or else they think their feet look better in low shoes, and they wear them until the snow falls. But it is of no use talking. As long as the earth turns on its axis people will have colds.''— Neio York Sun. Substitute for Glass. An Austrian inventor has produced a substance which he claims to be a good substitute for glass. It is produced by dissolving from four to eight parts of collodion wool in about 100 parts, by weight, of ether or alcohol or acetic ether, and with this are intimately com bined from two to four per centum of castor oil, or other non-resinous oil, and four to ten per centum of resin or Cana da balsam or other balsam (soft resin). "The compound when poured upon a glass plate and subjected to the drying action of a current of air of about fifty degrees Centigrado solidifies in a cotn piratively short time into a transparent glass-like sheet or plate, the thickness of which may be regulated as required. The sheet or plate so obtained has sub stantially the same properties as glass, as it will resist the action of salts and alkali and of dilute acids, and like glass is tiausparent awl has no smell. On the other hand', it has the advantage of be ing pliable or flexible and infrangible to a great degree, while its inflammability is much less than that of the collodion substitutes."— Boston Transcript. Meat-Eatins Plants. Notwithstanding the admitted fact that bits of meat, insects and other an imal substances are more quickly decom posed in the leaves and other trap-like appendages of the picher plant, venus fly-traps, sundews and various others of the so-called "insect-eating plants" than they are in open air, there is a body of scientists who deny that the plant itself has anything to do with the matter. These same scientists, who have fre quently given their views to the world, deny the old supposition that the plants of the insect-eating kind even exercise vital power iu capturing the prey which falls into their nets. The learned Dr. Morsetdt is one of the skeptics. He says that the effect produced upon insects by these plants is a chemical change similar to that produced upon the skin and flesh of one who has come in contact with any poisonous plant or vine.— St. Louis lie public. Good Pay for a Physician. William K. Vanderbilt, not feeling very well the other day, decided to tak# a trip to Europe, and he wanted a phy sician togo with him. The doctor said he cjuld not afford to leave his practice, which was worth SIOOO a week. Mr. Vanderbilt offered to give him SIO,OOO to make the trip of six weeks with him, and the offer vras accepted, —Phila delijJaa Press. Effect of Icq 011 Animal Life. Professor Ilcnry 8. Bodcmnn, of San Francisco, when asked by a reporter about the effect of ice on animal life said: "Props* can lie frozen in all con ditions to solid ice, so that the slightest trace o( life no longer exists, so that no sign of vitality cau be elicited from them,by the greatest irritation, and then again come to life after having been thawed out, and appear just as before the experiment. Dument in 1842 per formed such an experiment with great success. Many fishes we know, espec ially the pike, can be frozen through and through or be left lying in the air and still be revived on being moistened with water. AVith warm-blooded animals only a few experiments of this sort have been tried. Still, it is known that a few may be frozen, even to the entire cessa tion of the heart's action and breathing, even to the complete disappearance of nervous and muscular sensibility, and then by careful heating become, for a time at least, alive again. And the chicken iu the egg, before hatching, can be so greatly reduced in temperature that the action of the heart ceases, with out suffering injury, if alter a couple of days the normal heat is restored. It .uerely hatches so much smaller, since it cannot regain the lost time. Fresh eggs again, which have been frozen to solid ice, have developed, after gradual tliaw in«x, with complete regularity in the pro cess of incubation."— St. Louis Star- Sayings. Castor Oil Tablets. A Chicago house is now engaged in the manufacture of castor oil tablets. Each tablet is an inch square and about a quarter of an inch thick, and coutains sixty per cent, castor oil. The other components are cocoa and sugar. One tablet is considered a small dose for an adult. The method of compression was discovered by accident. This is the iu ventor's stoiy: "When I lived on Forty third street two years ago there was a sick child next, door that could not be induced to take a dose of castor oil. 1 lixed up a little with some powdered chocolate, and th-j child took it readily and cried for it. That suggested the idea of making castor oil tablets. My partner, who conducts the laboratory, went to work. The main difficulty was to get a tablet that would not let the oil ooze out. After a good deal of experi ment he has succeeded. llow he does it is, of course, our secret."—iVeic Or ient a Ti mtx-Dem icr< 1 1. First Mention of Football. The origin of tootball is unknown, but the first mention of the game is iu the reign ol Edward 111. (1349;, who issued an edict against it, not from any particu lar objection to the game, but because it co operated with other favorite amuse ments to impede the progress of archery. The penalty was one of imprisonment at the King's pleasure. The danger attend ing the game occasioned King James I. to say from his court,"l debarre all rough and violent exercises as the foot ball, meeter for laneing than making able the users theroof."— London Tit- Bits. A Good Heritage. On the civil pension list of Great liritain may be found: "Heirs and de scendants of William Penn, 620,000 per annum." This pension was granted in George lll.'s time "in consideration of his meritorious services, and of the losses which his family sustained in conse quence of the American war." A Col onel Stewart is the heir and descendant who now draws the pension. Surely a nice little sum—s2o,ooo a year—in con sideration of being a great man's de scendant.— Chicago Tribune. ONB ENJOYS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and act* t~entiy yet prom ptly on the Kidneys, «iver and Howels, cleanses the sys tem effectually, dispels colds, head* iches and fevers and cures habitual "onstipatioa. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro duced, pleasing to the taste and ac ceptable to the stomach, prompt in tf- action and truly beneficial in xts affects, prepared only from the most aeaithv and agreeable jubstanoe&, tfr many excellent qualities com mend it to all and hnve made it Uie most pontilar remedy known Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50c "Tirt Si bottles by all leading drug arista. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro cure it promptly for any one wbn wishes to try it Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO SAN h.IAHUSCO, CAU nHNßviut. *». new mm. m. % •»•••••••$$ rHfc SMALLEST PILL iN THE WORLD ( Z TUTT'S Z •TINY OVER PIIXS® • have all the vlrt lien of the larger one*; equally effective; purely vegetable. Exaet size shown in this border. jficlsiuiiM ■ % Send at once tor our Catalogue, aoc tertU M »myinalsC.N.Newcomb, Davenport, la* Five hundred theatres have been burnt down all the world ovor in the last 100 years, entailing a loss of about 4000 lives. The figures given by the French Gov ernment show an immence deficiency in wheat, both in area and yield. The average number of American patents issued yearly is about 20,000. Beware of Ointments for Catarrh That Contain Mercury, As mercury will Burely destroy the sense of smell and completely derange the whole sys tem when entering it through the mucous sur faces. Such articles should never be used ex cept on prescriptions from reputable pliysi claus, as the damage they will do is ten fold to the good you can possibly derive from them. Hail's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, U.,contains uo mercury, and is taken internally, and acta directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. In buying Hull's Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine. It in taken internally, and made in Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney f the Throat iiud lainirs. Is our latest BOOK on Consumption and kindred diseases and the wonderful results of the /fcRATED OXYGEN COMPOUND. AERATED OXYGEN CO., 19 Beekman St., New York. nxnTTVTwi^**i<^ ■ •Vll-liMil Addrtx el E*wy iimilliyfll ASTHMATIC MUbaWUUU P.HmMHiyu.l.D. I CURED TO BT*Y CUBED. | BUFFALO. N.Y. PAtiwireMssf ■ Piso's Remedy for Catarrh Is the M Bent. Kaslest to I'se. and Cheapest. B ■ Sold by druggist* or sent by mail. H Mc. E. T. Haielttne, Warren, Pa. ■ tfvVw COPVRICNT I8»l A feeling of dullness, languor, and depression means that your liver isn't doing its part. That means impure blood, to begin with, and all kinds of ailments in the end. But you can stop thera in advance. Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov ery invigorates the liver, purifies and enriches the blood, and rouses every organ into healthy action. It pre vents and cures all diseases arising from a torpid liver or from impure blood. Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Bil iousness, Scrofulous, Skin and Scalp Diseases even Consumption (or Lung-scrofula), in its earlier stages, all yield to it. The makers of the " Discovery" claim for it only what it will do. They guarantee that it will do it. If it fails to benefit or cure, in any case, they'll return the money. Nothing else that claims to purify the blood is sold in this way; which proves, no matter what dealers may offer, that nothing else can be " just as good." Therefore, don't accept a substitute. PBTobius UNEXCELLED! A PPM Ell EXTERN A lib Y » OR Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Pains in the Limbs, BaciL or OQjst, Mumps, San Throat, Colds, Sprains, Bruises, Mings oi Insects, Mosquito Bites. TAKEN IXTKKNA 1.1.V ll not. like n clinrin lor Cholera (lorbai, IMnrrlm'u, Dynentery, Colic. c-'rniups. Nau« Ken, il endue IKS At c. Wui-ruuted perfectly liarinlo**. 'See oath nccontpniiy Ing each bottle« nUo directions tor uiie. iIN SOOTHIM* untl PENE'i'ltA- TlM* quulitieM ure leit immediately. Try It and lie convinced. Price and jo cents. Sold by all dru;* plat*. DEPOT, 10 111' Kit AY ST.. NEW YORK DEIIE STEM PUMP CO. 72 Cortlandt St., New York. STEAM PUMPS. fT) WORN NIGHT AND DAY t • lu j. _ Holds thr» worst nip r tare with euse un g »Telastiom <1 " 0 ' 2 vii ■»! IP Perfect 1 5E Kew Patented lrarrtrnf I ® V XAI I m<,nL I ? U rui« C for < «ffi im«*aremt-nt •'"'iTlX zfr x «i e sure you have W. I* Douglas oboe* wuh name ami price stamped on bottom. \\. U Douglas, Brockton, Mass. \W~ TAKE NO SUBSTITUTE. Insist on local advertised dealers supplying ya*.