SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
W M. CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. IX.
Every minute, night and day, the
United States Government collects $639
und spends $461.
A wealthy German offered a prize of
$25,000 to any astronomer who will sat
isfactorily demonstrate to him that the
sun, moon or stars are inhabited.
Drill instructors are being appointed
by the labor organizations of Australia.
The members are buying guns aud am
munition. Lively times are expected.
• A Philadelphia surgeon says that by
three strokes of the lancet ho could para
lyze the nerves acted ou to make a man
get mad, and thereafter any one could
pull his nose or cuff his ears, aud be
would simply smile a soft, bland sinile.
At Cotta, in Saxony, persons who did
not pay their taxes last year are published
in a list which hangs up in all restaurants
and saloons of the city. Those that arc
on the list can gel; neither meat nor drink
at these places under penalty of loss of
license.
Harrison Ludiugton, tiie ex-Governor
of Wisconsin, who has just died in Mil
waukee, commenced his career at that
point in 1838 as the immediate business
sucessorof Solomon Juneau, Milwaukee's
first settler. The lives of these two men
cover the whole history of the great North
west.
< The New Yolk Sun learns that Cornell
is going to improve all the roads on the
University property, around Ithaca, N.
Y., in sections and by different methods,
and thus furnish a standing object lesson
as to style aud cost of maintenance for
the guidance of attempts to improve the
roads of the State.
" The Treasury authorities at Washing
ton have just had their attention called
to the fact that it would be an easy mat
ter to tunnel from a neighboring build
ing into their vaults, remove the coiu
and ship it down the Potomac. Seven
ty guards now watch the 'I reasury, aud
every precaution his been taken to pre
vent robbery.
•' The New York Worhl declares that
the population of the agricultural dis
tricts is less than it was ten years ago,
the gains having been made in the towns
aud cities. 15ut the mortgage indebted
ness is increasing at the rate of >'8,500,-
000 per year, and the loss in farm values
since 1880 is estimated at *200,000,000,
or an average of ~" : 7 per acre for the
single State of Ohio. There are Sta'.es
where the proportion shows a still worse
condition of affairs.
The Prince of Monaco having secured
a wife with y000,0()0 annual income lias
made up his mind to be good aud have
uo more gambling iu his spacious realm
after the prcseut lease of the Casino is
run out, April 16, 1802. But the enter
prising managers of the tables have
made arrangements to reproduce the eu
tire establishment, theatre and all, iu
Andorra, the little republic in the
Pyrenees ou the border of France an 1
Spain. Already 81,000,000 of the capi
tal stock has been taken up in Paris.
"South Carolina, like most of the
Southern States, continues to be made
up," notes the Dostou Transcript,
"mainly of rural communities. There
are but twenty cities and towns iu the
State that have more than 2200 inhabit
ants. Charleston, with 51,955 inhabit
ants, has a long lead over the second
city, Columbia, the capital, which has
15,358 population. Charleston has
gained 497i in the last decide, while
Columbia's population is 5317 larger
than it was iu 1880. These two cities
contain more than half the urbau popu
lation of South Carolina."
Professor Lombroso, a student of
criminals, says that out of forty one an
archists whom he studied iu the Paris
police office, thirty-one per ceut. showed
the criminal type of features. Of forty
three Chicago anarchists the percentage
of wicked faces w..s forty, aud that is
about the percentage obtained from the
professor's researches among the politi
cal criminals of Turin. l£egicidcs or
murderers of presidents, such as Fieschi,
Guiteau, Nobilingaud historic evil-doers
like Marat, had nearly all the criminal
cast of features. Nobiliug, Guiteau and
Booth, in the specialist's opinion, had
hereditary tendencies to crimt. Certain
socialists, like Karl Marx and Lassalle,
> exempted from the doctor's classitica
as their features are noble, but thcu
men do not favor anarchy.
A CHILD'S LAUGHTEK.
All the bells of heaven may rin<».
All the birds of heaven may sing.
All the wells on earth may spring,
( Ail the winds on earth may bring
£ All sweet sounds together;
Sweeter far than all things hoard,
Hand of harper, tone of bird, I
Sound of woods at sundawn stirrod.
Welling water's winsome word,
Wind in warm wan weather.
One thing yet there is that none
Hearing ere its chime be done
Knows not well the sweetest one
Heard of men beneath the sun,
Hoped iu heaven hereafter;
Soft and strong and loud and light,
Very sound of very light,
Heard from the morniug's rosiest height,
When the soul of all delight
Fills a ehild's.clen' laughter.
Golden bells of welcome rolled
Never forth such notes, nor told
Hours so blithe in tones so bold
As the radiaut mouth of gold
Here that rings forth heaven.
If the golden crested wren
Were a nightingale—why, then
Something seen and heard of men
Might be half as sweet as when
Laughs a childof seven.
—A. G. Swinburne,
DOWN IN A STEAMSHIP.
My father was a rich uian when I left
New York, llis partner's only daugh
ter was to be nay wife when I should re
turn.
I was a student in u Vienna hospital
when I received a cable from home that
the old house hud failed. It proved to
be au honest failure and both faaiilies
were beggars.
I counted my pocketbook from cover
to cover. I had just enough to leave
free of debt and get to Liverpool. How
to cross? Well, swim if necessary.
In the Liverpool steamer office was an
old Harvard College mate. This em
barrassed uie. He owed inc a grudge
from the football days at Berkeley Oval.
Determined to work my passage over,
I entered what I supposed was not the
office where my old competitor was man
ager. I did not see him, but he must
have caught sight of 1110. I was sur
prised with the promptness with which I
was told togo on board the C , and
something would be found for me to do.
Two days out I was called to the cap
tain's own room, insulted with the
charge, at first politely put, of being a
stowaway, aud finally stung to madness
bitter enough to obey silently when the
officer said: "If you really don't want
to steal your passage, go report to the
engineer and shovel coal."
This I did. My experience I want to
describe. It is common enough to hun
dreds of poor scamps this mometft all
over the seas. Out, God pity them,they
have not the tongue to tell,
nor, perhaps, always the sensibility to
feel, what their life really is.
Dizzy already with the tossings of the
sea I staggered down those series of iron
stairways till I stood at last on the ship's
lowest deck. Behind me were the vast
bunkers of coal that glistened from a
million eyes when the furnace doors were
opened, aud then faded out of sight.
Before me the huge billows rose, not
silent, but roaring monsters, so hungry
that the toiling pygmies who fed them
jumped to their tasks till the sweat rolled
from their bare backs. The heat was, to
one descending from the pure breath of
the Atlantic, something fearful. I was
dressed iu my ordinary attire,and even nu
overcoat at that, so precipitate had been
my action. The smell of baking lubri
cants and red hot iron, the dead air,
poisoned with coal gas and bilge water
odors, the dust, despite all showering,
but most of all the sudden transition
from white light to blackest darkness,
momentarily proceeding, as this and that
furnace door was opened and shut,almost
felled me to the floor.
As I stumbled and caught my hold on
the stair rail, again the hardy fellows
shouted: "Give us your shilling and go
back!" supposing that I was a curious
passenger seeing the sights of the ship.
The voices of derision roused me. I
was no passenger. I was au honest beg
gar like the rest; and here I was to be
imprisoned for a week, watch on and
off I
In a frenzy I tore off my clothing till
I stood in my trousers and shoes like my
fellows. I stated my hiring to the fel
low in charge of the watch, and he gave
me my shovel with a pitying laugh.
I was put at the boiler nearest the
stair. The midships would havo been a
less drunken spot, but I leaped at the
hardest task.
My head grew dizzy. I panted for a
full vital breath. The corrugated floor
ing, polished till it was glossy smooth iu
spots, tangled my poor feet so that I re
peatedly fell. Ah, that sense of whirl
ing, whirling, whirling! How little the
fair folk in the cabins, know of all this
plutouian hole beneath their carpets.
Really, I thought I could describe
somewhat that lurid fantasia amid these
scarlet skinned, good natured demons,
but I cannot. Vertigo struck me down
in less than a half hour. The next I
knew I was being revived in the coin
panionway, and the sea air was so grate
ful. The ship's surgeon asked me if I
felt able togo to work again, and
courteously recognized that I was not a
laborer. I was graceless enough to ;
growl out my spleeD aud reassert that I I
was no stowaway, which the good doc
tor did not understand.
I turned to thu assistant engineer, who j
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 14. 1801.
stood by, and asked him to give me a
job of which I might be capable.
Thrusting his hands in his pockets, he
walked oil with a command to "try him
at oiling."
Ed 15 , the head oiler—dear,brave
heart—l often go down to the dock to
see him when in port here, but the en
gine is as dear to him as a bride or I
would long ago have bettered his for
tunes—he took mo in hand. We
walked along those mere bird-cages of
stair-ways and platforms, a labyrinth of
passages in a forest of steel arms,wheels,
shafting and steam piping. To a lands
man, that endless maze of mighty anat
omy is at first simply awful. It sobers
one, this sullen, ceaseless throb of the
monster's heart, the deep breathing of
the steam chests, the sigh of tho crea
ture's spirit as the pistons make one move
and yet one more herculean thrust turn
ing the crank shaft.
Each time, as the piston slowly starts,
it seems as if it must be the last, and in
finite fatigue prevail. But no, it goes
on, night and day, motion, motion, mo
tion. Don't let me tire you, reader, but
Ido wish I could express to you some
thing of the soleinu impression that be
gan to seize upon me, crawling like a fly
after Ed, the oiler. Then the hiss, the
scream, the little sighs and moans of
here and there a jet of truant steam, al
most humiiu sounds, issuing from the
jungle of polished steel!
"She's a tiger, she is?" cried Ed.
"Look out!"
I heard that kind exclamation fre
quently as we went our rounds. There
were others doing tho same work, but I
became a chosen attendant of my cat
like friend. He had a sprained elbow
and I helped him professionally. He
got my story. We were intimate iu two
or three days, and I record it with hon
est satisfaction, for Ed U was a gen
uine man.
It was ouo day off the Banks that wo
stopped. The chief got a notion that
the shaft was not sound, and tho next
voyage it proved so, for a hair line along
and arouud that huge polished arm of
power turned out an incipient fracture.
But it was on investigation decided this
vsyage that there w;is nothing wrong.
Still, there we lay on tho breast of the
swells for more than two hours. Ed
came to mc and said:
"Now she's still, the second engineer
thinks we might go into the pit and
cleau out the waste and oil puddles. I
don't like it, doctor, when she's got
steam on. What if she turned her
crank, eh?"
The brave boy went jumping down,
however; dow'Ji, down, till he stood di
rectly under that massive crank, which
had stopped at tho half turn over his
head.
The reader will understand that the
space allowed for tho crank to make the
full circuit round below was only suffi
cient for the iron to sweep through.
Into that «ow empty space Ed was pre
paring to step. It was dark as a grave
and about a grave's dimensions. I held
the torch above his head. Men working
by torchlight iu that place resemble |
imps. We were good natured imps, j
however, and, though very cautious, j
were chatting cheerfully enough.
"I never like this job at sea," resumed
Ed, "nor any time, except wlieu the
last pound o' steam is out of her, two or
three days at dock."
"But tho eugiueer knows wc are
here," I replied.
"Yes, he ordered me down—and
there's no need of it—and he dou't like
me," Ed got oil between his breath,
bending to his perilous work iu the pit.
"Ilaavens, man!" I exploded, catch
ing at what I thought was his meaning.
"That would bo murder!"
"Hush, doctor! Not that, not that!
But if I had refused to come, as he
thought I would, don't you see he could
break me—that is, discharge me wheu
we get into New York."
A few miuutes later Ed sent mo aloft
for an extra mop of cotton waste. I
was to hurry, for wc knew not what
miuute the captain might go ahead. I
remember I had secured the waste, I was
picking my way along the enigma of lit
tle ludders and platforms. Fur below,
through the shadows, tlung from occas
ional gas jets the sleeping monster, like
a nickel plated lay prone, and I
seemed to bo exploring its viscera like
some daring pathologist. Away below
me in the light of his torch Ed reminded
mo of a microb.
Suddenly the gong struck from the
pilot house. God help me, 1 can hear it
yet!
I was near the engineer's landing.
Quick as a flash I was on the ongineer,
and like a tiger I caught at the wheel
which he was turning to let ou steam.
"Mau! B is in the crank pit!"
But I was too late. She gave ouo turn,
at least. Tlieu the scoundrel or fool, I
don't know which, yielded to me and wo
stopped her. But such a cry as came
echoing up from tho very heart of the
engine!
"Thank God for that second cry," 1
fairly sobbed, as it floated up.
Then I sprang away and down. Ed
lay inseusible ou the arm of the crauk,
as if the engiue had stopped iu pity and
held him out to us. 110 had. fainted with
pain only, for the sprained elbow had
been broken. How he escaped heaven
only kuows.
Now this is the curious part of my
story. Less than a year after, when she
was cold and lying at the docks without
a pound of steam, that engine killed this
same engineer. It must have beeu in the
middle ot the night. What he was do
ing dowu in her no one knows. A list
by cargo and tide must have moved the
maehinery a half a turn and crushed
him.
Ed B says that engines have souls,
but seafaring men cherish queer notions.
—Jew York I'resa.
Canning Crabs.
A thriving industry at Hampton, Va.,
is tie canniug of hard-shell crabs, which
was flrst begun in the year 1878. About
the Ist of April the season for these
crustaceans opens and continues until
June. During that month and July the
crabs arc found with spawn and unlit for
canning purposes. Then in August tho
woik begins anew and from that time
until about the Ist of November the
caiuerics arc kept very busy.
The crabs arc caught chiefly with trot
lines and nets. Beef tripe is used for
bait and each line is attended by one
man iu a light skiff. The average daily
catch per man iu Hampton Roads is from
sixty to seventy-five dozen, although 250
down catches have been occasionally re
ported.
Large boats go out every day and
collect the crabs from tho fishermen.
Upon arrival at the cannery the dead ones
and spawners are thrown away. The
others arc placed in open slat-work cars
and conveyed to a wooden steamer hav
ing a capacity of 250 dozen into which a
■car is rolled. Steam is then turned ou
and the crabs cooked until they turn red,
when the car is rolled out aud the con
tents shoveled into baskets. Thjso are
delivered to men technically termed
"'trippers," who remove the shells,
small claws and entrails. These men
pais the cleaned portions to a force of
w -men and children called "pickers,"
wlio take out all the meat und placo it in
pans. The large claws are crushed
aid the ineat deftly extracted. As these
pickers receive but from two to three
e tits a pound, it naturally follows that
tley must be quick and agiio workers.
Tie most rapid pickers can generally
prepare about twenty-five pounds a day,
lift the average is about sixteen pouuds.
Tie hard parts and other refuse are
dimped into sheet-iron barrels, placed in
stows and sold tcrthe neighboring farm
ers for fertilizing purposes. Tho upper
sitdls, which the strippers remove, are
ctrefully cleaned and used as receptacles
fur deviled crabs, being packed up and
said with the caus containing the meat.
■After being weighed, the crab-meat is
tiken to the "fillers," who pack it in
ote and two-pound cans. Each pound
(iu. is estimated to contain the meat ex
tracted from thirty-eight crabs. In order
to prevent spoiling in the caus, the con
tents must be very thoroughly cooked,
aud consequently after being sealed these
receptacles are placed in boiling water
for half an hour. Theu they are taken
out aud vented by piercing a small hole
in the top of each and immediately re
seated. After this they are given a final
hot water bath, iu which they remain for
two hours. Another process consists iu
placing the cans in a strong solution of
chloride of lime water.
Upward of 11,000,000 crabs are thus
canned each season in the Hampton es
tablishments, and find a ready sale in all
parts of the United States.— Detroit Free
I'rcss.
Convicts Off lor Siberia.
The Moscow correspondent of the
London JVeios says: "To-day I witnessed
tho departure for Siberia of the first
batch of convicts this season. They
stood in marching column at the railway
station, surrounded by a guard of about
100 soldiers with drawn swords. At the
head came the worst class of convicts,
about 300 iu number, all having le*r fet
ters and chains. Many had the right
half of the head shaved, an indication of
lont;-scrvice sentences. Theu came about
100 without fetters, convicted or sus
pected of lighter offenses, most of them
being without passports, and therefore
liable to punishment. Next follow about
100 women, some couvicts aud some
prisoners' wives. It is pathetic to see
little children and some infants starting
on this long aud terrible journey of ex
ile. The dress worn is gray, with a yel
low diamoud on the bacrt. The by
standers threw money to them to enable
them to purchase comforts ou tho jour
uey."
Married the Family.
A story of a Florida inau who married
threo wives from one family is going the
rouuds as somcthiug remarkable, but
there was a family iu Maino consisting of
six girls, and of the six three married
men named Bickwell, throe married t3
the name of Young, one married a Liver
more aud one never was married. An
other paradoxical featuro is that there*
were only five husbands in all. The ex
planation is that two of the Bickwells
died, leaving widows, nftid Mr. Young,
who had two of the sisters before, took
one of the widows. Then Mr. Liver
more took tho other. So that there
were seven weddings iu the family, aud
only five men aud five women concerned
iu them. Mr. Youug had lost one wife
before he began ou this family.—Man
r/tester Union.
Custer's Last Sword.
The sword which Custer used in his
campaign against the Indians, aud which
ho lost with his life at the battle of the
Little Big Horn, is now in tho possession
of a Chicago man. Its battered blade is
as flexible as whalebone, audit looks as
though it had beeu through mauy u
hand-to-hand eucounter. It is covered
with innumerable de3igus of drums,
(lags, cannons aud other implements of
warfare. — lndianapolis Journal.
Terms—sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months
SCIENTIFIC AND INDCSTBIAL.
Marmoreine hardens plaster.
Electricity is to revolutionize mining.
Many of the big paper-mills have
turned out paper belts said to be supe
rior to leather.
The juice of a half lemon in a teacup
of strong black coffee, without sugar,
will often cure u sick headache.
The skin of a boiled egg is the best
remedy for a boil. Carefully peel it,
wet, and apply to the boil; it draws out
the matter and relieves soreness.
When your face aud cars burn so ter
ribly bathe them in very hot water—as
hot as you can bear it. This will be
more apt to cool them than any cold ap
plication.
The compounding of locomotives will
soon be gone into on a large scale, and
triple expansion engines will soon be
adopted in the larger manufacturing es
tablishments.
The breaking weight of a bar of iron
one foot long aud one inch square is
5781 pounds. A piece of seasoned hick
ory of the same dimensions would break
at 270 pounds.
A Philadelphia company recently
made a fly-wheel which weighs 180,000
tons. It is tweuty-five feet in diameter,
eighteen inches thick, aud twenty-eight
inches wide. It will be operated by a
3000 horse power.
Borers of the city artesian well at
Fort Worth, Texas, arc of the opinion
that the drill will soon penetrate a huge
volume of boiling water, as the tempera
ture increases with every few feet they
go down, and at last accounts was 121
degrees, at a depth of 2900 feet.
Chatin has proved that a parasite
growing on plants of the Strychnos
genus contains neither strychnine nor
brucine. The mistletoe growiug upon
tho oak does not contain the blue tatiniu
of tho latter, but exclusively a green
tannin. Iu like mauuer other parasites
are shown not to absorb the peculiar
principles of their hosts.
Neuralgia in the face has been cured
by applying a mustard plaster to the
elbow. For neuralgia iu the head,apply
the plaster to the back of the neck.
The reason for this is that mustard is
said to touch the nerves the moment it
begins to draw or burn, aud to be of
most use must be applied to the nerve
ceutres, or directly over the place where
it will touch the affected nerve most
quickly.
Sarno, a Gorman chemist, finds uitric
acid abundant in unnual plants,and more
or less in nearly all families of plants.
A singular observance is that where
plants formerly supposed to be root-par
asites, and now called saprophytes, are
connected with certain bush roots. Such
roots have no uitric acid. For instance,
the cancer root is only fouud under
beech trees, and yet no connection exists
between the beech aud this plant. These
roots ought not to have auy nitric acid,
if Sarno is right.
For many years a spring of dirty
water ran from the house Of a certain M.
Korotneff, in the heart of Scbastopol,
and caused the proprietor much trouble.
At times the spring would cover the best
street in the city with mud. Of late tho
spring has become a public nuisaucc and
tlit: city authorities compelled M. Korot
neff to build a small reservoir around it and
lead off the muddy substance by sewer
pipes. But as soon as this was done it
was discovered that the substance in tlio
new reservoir was pure naphtha. Fot
the last three months since the discovery
was made nothing has been done to util
ize this wasting treiisure.
Bright Tliou % „.. Merry.
Frank R. Stockton tells with greac
glee how once, many years ago, he in
vented a dish and got $2 for the inven
tion. It was while he was sub-editor of
Hearth and Home, a weekly paper of
which Sirs. Mary Mapes Dodge was the
editor. He had contributed to every de
partment save the household department.
This put him on his mettle. So he
hauded iu a receipt of his own concoct
ing. Mrs. Dodge accopted it, aud paid
for it at the current rates—s2. The
dish is called "Cold Pink," and here is
the receipt: Take all the white meat left
over from the Thauksgiviug turkey, and
chop it uy very fine. Pour a thiu crau
berry sauce over the cold meat. Mix
well, put it in a china form and set it
away to get cold. When cold, serve it.
It makes a delightful dish. But alas!
as Mr. Stockton himself remarks, there
is never any turkey left over from the
Thauksgiviug dinner.— Epoch.
A Curious Name Combination.
"What is in a name?" has been a ques
tion sufficiently unanswered to still re
main a subject for discussion, but what
is iu two names should have a double
interest. If you don't think so, take
two names as well known as any iu
American history ani look at them.
They are the names Lincoln and Hamlin.
Of course, there is nothing peculiar about
them as they stand, but set them differ
ently and observe the result. For an in
stance, place them thiswise:
IIAM LIN
LIN COLN
Read up aud down and then across.
There is something in that, isn't there?
Now, again:
ABRA—IIAMLJN —COLN.
Can you fiud two other names of two
other men whoso otlicial lives and names
combine as these do?— St. Louis litymo-
Z»V.
NO. 44.
GETTING DOWN THE BARS. 1
Fair Jane stands near the woodland when
The barn lane joins tho Held;
The cows are coming at her call.
Their treasure white to yield. •"
The sun is sinking through the trees
To give place to the stars, 112
And to tho task the maiden bends
Of letting down the bars. J
Young neighbor John, of manly mold,
But timid as a quail,
Climbs o'er the fence and gains her side
And helps her move the rail.
Her warm blush tells a tale; but fear
From speech his tongue debars
Till eyes meet eyes, then of his love
Her glance lets down the bars.
0 woodland's breath and meadow's breeze,
And soft eyed kine and birds!
Know ye the rapture in your midst
That cannot flow in wordß?
Nor wisli for wealth, nor thought of fame.
Nor aught the moment mars;
These guileless souls And all their world
While letting down the bars.
—New York Advertiser.
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
Erasures on account-books arc sure
signs of a bigger scrape coming.— Puck.
When a initn fights in his mind he al
ways conies out victorious.— Atchison
Olobe.
When one denies his own statements
he is practising much self-denial.—Dai
las News. *-
Mr. Crossly—"l tell you before I go
that I want beef for dinner, and when I
got home what tic I find?" Mrs. Cross
ley—"Fault, every time."— New' York
Sun.
He (accepted)—"Ah, what Happiness!
Now I Can call you mine, loveP' She—
"Ah I You haven't got through with
your interviuw with papa yet."— Tims
Siftings.
A Sad Case: Mrs. Murphy—"An'
sure, Mrs. O'Brien, did your poor mau
die aisy, rest his soul!" Mrs. O'Brien—
"lndade not, Mrs. Murphy. It nearly
kilt poor Pat to die."
Jake Jimpson—"You are the apple of
my eye, dear." Cora Bellows—"And
you are the peach of mine." "Why the
peach?" "You are such a perpetual fail
ure."—New York Herald.
Mr. Oldgrad (Class of 'HO) —"Ah, this
is our class picture. Ah, old boy, we
were younger then than we are now."
Mr. l)u Grec—"Yes, ur.-l i.ucw a great
deal more."— Brooklyn Life.
"How will I enter tho money the
cashier skipped with," asked the book
keeper, "uuder profit, and loss?" "No;
suppose you put it under running ex
penses."—Philadelphia Times.
They say that a woman caunot reason,
but as long as she has her faculty of in
tuition she seems to got along all right.
Besides, she can usually get a man to
reason for her.— Somerville Journal.
There may not be any royal road to
wealth, but there is a royal road to learn
ing. When a man gets rich the world
is willing to regard everything he says
as the utterances of a sage.— Somerville
Journal.
She—"l am afraid that bell ringing,
means another caller." He (imploringly)
—"You know there is such a thing as
your not being at home." She—"Yes,
and there is such a thing as my being
engaged."
Genius may be merely a capacity for
hard work, but it is hard to make tho
neighbors believe that there is any
genius about tho young woman who
practises the scales four hour a day.—
Indianapolis Journal.
Eiuersonia .Dorchester —"Oliviuia
Holmes is not tho rechorcho girl I
thought she was." Husselliua Waldo—
"What has occurred?" Emersonia Dor
chester—"l noticed to-day that she was
wearing her winter spectacles."—Jew
elers' Circular.
Prudence —"Why did you hurry
around the corner when you met Briggs
a moment ago?" "Afraid of him?"
"Why?" "Yesterday he paid me back
a dollar he borrowed six months ago,
and I'm shorter than usual this week."—
New York llecordtr.
"And what," :v>ked the young woman
who is somotiraos facetious, "is the rank
of the individual who brings up in tho
rear with a bucket and a tin cup?"
"Oh," replied the member of the militia,
without hesitation, "ho is a lemonade
de camp."— Washington Post.
Alice—"l met Miunie Hence to-day,
and she showed me the engagement ring
that Horace Fledgcly gave her." Gwen
dolin—"ls it a pretty one?" Alice—
"You remember the one he gave you and
me!" Gwendolin—"Lot me think. Oh,
yes!" Alice—"lt's the same ring."—
Jewelers' Circular.
They took the Fit shburg from Bostou
to Troy. At the Falls the brakeman
thrust his head in at the door and seemed
to interrogate—"Hoosick? Hoosick?"
Alfred Kufus looked inquiringly around
tho car, and discovering no object iu
need of a physician's care, appealed to
his father—"Papa, who is sick?"—
Pharmaceutical Era.
A small Bath schoolboy, who had
been sent home by his teacher because
his sister had the measles, was noticed
by that teacher at the next recess play
ing with the other children iti the school
yard. "Johnny, didn't I tell you not
to come to school while your sisters had
the measles?" "Yes, but I am not going
in school; I only came to play with the
boys betore it begius. "—JJath Time*.