SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
W M, CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. IX.
♦'The South," announces the Philadel»
phia liecord , "will shortly supply the
country's lumber demand. There are
3500 saw mills running there already."
' Of the $15,000,000 that Uncle Sam is
going to deal out to the sugar planters,
more than two-thirds will goto Louis
iana,; estimates the Commercial Adver
tisers
1 The Australian fanner is already en
gaged in turning his attention to the cul
tivation of cotton, and every assistance
is being given him by the colonial author
ities.
' There are more women In British
India (124,000,000) than there are men,
•women and children in Great Britain,
Pranct and Germany put together, with
the population of several minor Euro
pean States cast in as well.
One imperial heir in Austria killed
himself under circumstances of disgrace,
another fled into obscurity as plain John
Ortb, while still another is lyiug nearly
dead. The haps of Hnpsburg, moralizes
the Washington Star, are sadly numer
ous.
According to reports, two-thirds of
tho students of the Old World have a
rather brief and inglorious career. A
London letter says: "One-third of the
studentsin Europe, it is said, die prema
turely from the effect of bad habits ac
quired at college; one-third die prema
turely from the effects of close confine
ment at their studies, and the other third
govern Europe."
R. S. Hunton,oncof the leading mine
owners of Colorado, says that electricity
opens up a new era in tho production of
silver. The reason of this statement is
that many of the high mountain mines
have been almost valueless because of the
expense of transporting fuel' to them.
Now through the utilization of water
power with tho electric motor these
mines can bo operated cheaply, and a
notable increase of output may be looked
for. So evident is this fact that there
has already sprung up a demand for
electrical mining machinery in Mexico,
and our Americau electrical manufactur
ing companies are now sending large
quantities of apparatus thither.
"The traditional bow and arrow of
the American Indian," said a Westerner,
"are things of the past. The average
Indian of to-day is about as skilful with
a bow and arrow as a six-year old boy is
with a toy pistol. It's very fuuny to see
Easterners when they are traveling out
West get Indians to show them how they
use their old-time weapons. The Indian's
favorite way of exhibiting his skill is to
shoot at a quarter or half a dollar stuck
in a split stick. The money of course,
comes out of the pocket of the Eastern
man and the noble Red Man will shoot
at it from a distance of a dozen steps
" and miss it with the most monotonous
regularity. As the small boy would say,
he can't shoot a little bit. His weapons
nowadays are two kinds, both adopted
from the white man. One is the rifle
which he uses upon his friend the pale j
fnce, and upon his friend's cattle. The J
other is whisky, which he uses upon
himself, audit is quite as deadly to him
as bullets—provided he can get enough
of it."
One of the phenomenal business de
velopments in this country in the la3t
few years, says the National Stockman,
has been in growth of the dressed beef
industry. There has not been a year in
its history in which there has not been a
substantial increase. Last year a total of
3,730,000 cattle were slaughtered in the
West, against 3,050,000 in the preceding
year, an increase of twenty-two per ceut.
This fairly represents the rate of growth.
Of this total by far the greater part is '
for consumption in this country, probably
one-seventh of it going abroad, iuasmuch
as the aggregate weight of beef, exclu
sive of tallow, exported last year was
369,216,561 pounds. Of course American '
producers will bo glad to see beef expor
tation increase, even while recognizing
that the growth of the dressed beef trade,
as far as it contributes to supplying the
American market, is inimical to the in
terests of cattle generally. The industry,
such as it is, with all its possibilities, is
here to stay. To such a decree, though,
has it interfered with beef raising and
beef selling in the older States that it is
desirable that legislation be provided,
if such a thing be possible, to hold it in
check. At all events, it is certain to be
a »roat feature in tho American cattlo
industry in time to come.
OLD THINGS ARE BEST.
Old tilings oro best. We wander
So strangely and so lonely
From here to that world yondt'r.
Why not grow fond and fonderl
In tried affections only?
Old friends are best. Their faces
Each year seem dearer, dearer,
And glow with new-found graces;
Then, ah! These vacant places
But bring the living nearer.
Old homes are best. The laughter
That tells of childhood's pleasures
Beneath the ancient rafter,
Surpasses all that's after
And all of manhood's treasures.
Old love is best. Its swoetnesa
Makes pleasant sorrow's chalice.
And spite of Time'* dread fleetuesa
It gains in calm compleness
And laughs at Age's malic®.
Old faith is best the teaching
Of heart enshrined mothers.
What profits subtle preaching'.
Or blind and eager reaching
For doubt that mocks and smothers?
Old ways are the best; th? soilness
Of simpler lives and fitter.
Ere wealth had come with madness,
Or folly left its sadness.
And sin its lessons bitter.
Old things are best. The glimmer
Of age forbids new choices.
Oh. as mine eyes grow dimmer,
Faintly across the shimmer
AVaft me the old, sweet voices!
—George Horton.in Chicago lieralJ.
OLD MAN MIXALL.
BY nni.EN FORREST GRAVES.
"So you've got back ag'in, Lo-i-sy!"
said Old Man Mixall.
"Yes, Mr. Mixall," said Louisa Hill,"
"I've got back again."
"Any news, Lo-i-sy?" cheerfully piped
the octogenarian, folding the week-old
newspaper so as to bring the "Financial
News"on a level with his old steel spec
tacles.
Louisa shook her head.
"Well, I vuml" said Old Man Mixall.
"It's a shameAdain Putney always
was as queer as Sancho, and I do b'lieve
he grows queerer every year he lives."
Louisa Hill sighed softly, and went
about her work of preparing beans.
The morrow was bean-picking day at
"Desperation Hall," and there was at
least a bushel of the leguminous vegeta
bles ready to be picked over and
stemmed.
The boarders at Desperation Hall were
partial to pickles as soon as the cold
weather set in, and the matron was
anxious to keep them satisfied and
happy.
Decoration Hall was a loug,low erec
tic eray stone thut had been a suuff
mi. century ago, and was now
utilize. \ the accommodation of the
town po>.
Captain .. s Fotherindyke, a retired
sea captain, w \t the heltn of this in
stitution ; and L a thrifty dame
of many Raided and abetted
him in every respect.And of all the
boarders, old Simon Mixall was the
cheeriest and most helpful.
"Can't I help ye, Lo-i-sy?" said he,
'•wing down the paper. " 'Pears to me
•»ot a dreadful job there, with all
oiera •' I'm awful sorry 'bout
Adam Putney T <i'pose Peter's clean out
o' patience with mm."
The color mounted to Louisa's cheek.
"Peter don't say much," answered
she; "but, of course, he's vexed. But
I toll him that the farm belongs to Uncle
Adam, and if his Uncle Adam hasn't a
mind to sell to these railroad people, he
can't be made to do so."
"An' ye can't no ways be married
without the money?" wistfully spoke Mr.
Mixall.
Lcuisn shook her head.
_ "Peter has his mother and his lame
sister to support," said she, with u sigh.
"We shall have to wait, that's all."
Old Man Mixall shook his head over
the emerald drift of beans.
"I hold with the proverb," said he,
"that 'it's ill waitin' for dead men's
shoes.' And the Putneys always was a
long-lived race."
"He may live as long as he wants for
all me," observed Louisa. "I don't
grudge him a moment of his life, poor
old man!"
"No, I don't believe you do," said
Old Man Mixall. ' All the same, it's
pretty hard 011 you and Pete. How's
Widow Bliven? Any better of the rheu
matiz? Me and Nancy Bliven we've
danced many a Virginia reel together in
our young days, though p'raps ye
wouldn't think it, Lo-isy."
"She'B a little better," said Louisa.
"And the young folks are going to have
a masquerade frolic at the Lyceum to
earn money to paint the old Bliven house
and re-shiugle the roof before fall sets in.
I'm going to borrow the Quaker dress
that Libby Weldon's grandmother wore
when she was married. It tils me ex
actly."
"I want to know!" ejaculated the old
man.
"And Peter's going to ask old Squire
Lomax to lend him the chest of Revolu
tionary uniforms and things he's got in
the garret of the old house," added
Louisa. "He's going to be 'George Wash
ington.' "
"I'd admire to sco him," said Old Man
Mixall. "I wonder now if Cap'n Elias
would object to megoin' down there and
seein' you young folks rigged up?"
"I'll uk him myself," said Louisa,
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, JULY 31, 1891.
who liked the kindly old soul &nd wanted
him to have the simple treat. m
"You see, I don't often ask for an
evening out," said Old Mau Mixall.
"Not but what I'd like it oftener, but if
I ask, there's forty others would think
they'd ought togo, too, an' I don't want
Cap'n Elias to hev any more trouble
thuu's absolutely neccisary. But I would
like to see how you look as a Quakeress,
and I'm mortal sure Peter Putney'll make
an A No. 1 Revolutioner!"
And when the beans were all prepared
for the morrow's pickle, Old Man Mixall
strolled cheerily along the front of Des
peration Hall, tying up some fat African
marigold he had planted, and placing
new strings for his scarlet runners to
climb on, in front of the windows where
old Aunt Ruggles lay sick.
For the western light hurt hsr old
eyes, and when the scarlet-runner leaves
waved in the wind, she babbled vaguely
of the gieen Maine forests whero she had
been born.
"I jest wish I was wuth a million dol
lars!" said the old philanthropist. "I'd
give Pete Putney and Lo-i-sy Hill the
finest farm in Middle County. I don't
see what possesses old Adam to stick to
his stony fields and mullein pastures so
tight, when the railroad people offer him
five thousand dollars for 'em. Guess I'll
go raound an' see him about it. Lo-i-sy
Hill's too pretty a gal aud too good a
one to be kept waitin' uutil Pete can dig
a home out of the rocks for her. It ain't
no pa'ticklcr fun that I know of, doin'
housework at Desperation Hall."
Aud so, on tho evening of the Widow
Bliven's masquerade party, Old Man
Mixall trudged around by the Putney
Farm to see his ancient contemporary.
Old Adam sat warming his venerable
bones in the sun. Suashiue was cheaper
than firewood, if less satisfactory, and
he returned his greeting.
"So ye won't sell the farm to the
Quantick Company?" said Simon, sitting
cheerfully down on the woodeu suttee
beside his friend.
"I can't sell it," said Putney, drum
ming his wrinkled fingers ou the wia
dow-sill.
"Why cant ye sell it?"
"lie won't let me."
"Who won't let you?"
"My Gran'thcr Putney."
"Land alive, man, what ye talking
about?" cried Mixall. "Yer Gran'ther
Putney, he's been dead an' buried this
seveuty years!" ,
"I dream about hitn every uigh' ; "
said Adam Putney, in the same slow,
mechanical way. "I see him a-settiu'
on the old oak stump by the well. Aud
he's always a-sayin', 'Don't sell the farm,
j Adam?' I can't go agin him, can I?"
"Wal, I calc'late I should if I was
[you!" declared Mixall. "Dead an'
buried folks hain't no busiuess meddlin'
that a-way."
"I can't go agin him!" repeated Put
ney, with the slow, settled policy of old
I «S e
"But here's your nephew, Peter, as
smart a lad as ever steppped, and Lo-I-sy
Hill, the prettiest gal goin.' They'd
have money togo to housekeeping if
you'd listen to reason."
"I can't go agin Gran'thcr Putney."
"And here you be, poor'n Job's tur
key, holdiu' onto the rockiest farm this
side o' Serape Mountain, all jest for a
consarned whim!" persisted Mixall.
"I can't go agin Gran'ther Putney,"
drcariiy repeated Old Adam, winking his
blearecßeyes in the sunshine.
And Old Man Mixall, fuirly out of pa
tience, got up and trotted down the
road, muttering unutterable things as he
went.
"There ain't such a dumb fool as he iu
all the foolish ward at Dcsperatiou Hall,"
said he.
And it took a good deal of the laugh
ter and merrymaking at the Bliven mas
querade to erase the disagreeable impres
sion from his mind.
Old Man Mixall was a favorite every
where, and the hospitable dame in charge
of the refreshments cheered him with
hot coffee, newly browned waffles,
chicken salad and frosted cake, before
he went iu to see the young folks dance.
"That's Lo-i-sy!" he cried, shrilly.
"Ain't she jest as pretty as a pink in that
Quaker gowud and the scoop hat? And
there's Pete Putney cuttiu' pigeon wings
in old Squire Lomax's Revolutionary
togs. Wal, I never!"
And Old Man JNlixall laughed until ho
shook like a mold of jelly.
Cap'n Elias Fothcrindye was seriously
alarmed when his oldest boarder did not
return until the next morning.
"Why, I swan to gracious," said he,
"I allowed suthin had happened t'yel"
"No, cap'n" said the old man,
"nothiu' hain't happened. But Pete Put
ney. lie ax»jd me, scein' I was comin'
right past the place, to leave his Revolu
tioner rig to Squiro Lomax's; an' when I
got to Squire Lomax's, they axed me to
stay all night. Dre'tful sociable folks
them Lomaxes!"
And the Old Man Mixall went out
to water his marigolds aud scarlet run
ners.
The sun wns setting behind the to
mato vines in the back garden when
Louisa Hill came breathlessly up the
path.
"Oh, Mr. Mixall," said she, "Peter
has just driven away! He has taken me
for a ride."
"Eh?"
"And what do you think? We're to
be married next week?"
"I—want—to---know 1"
"And Uncle Adam is going to sell the
farm to the Quantick Compauy, and give
the money to Peter, and he's to live with
usl"
"Wal, I declare!"
"Uncle Adam says he saw Gran'thei
Putney last night a-settin' on the old oak
stump by the well, just at midnight.
And this time ho was all dressed in the
suit he fought at Bunker Hill in—mus
ket and cocked hat and all—and he says,
says he, 'Sell the farm, Adam—sell the
farm,'as distinct as ever ye heard any
thing in your life. And Uncle Adam,
he says it's a direct message from his an
cestor, and tho deeds are to be handed
over to-monow. And wo shall be happy
at last I"
"Did—you—everl" said Old MaD
Mixall.
"It was a dream, of coursel" said
Louisa.
"Oh, of course I" said Old Man Mix
all.
But when she was gone to tell Mr 3.
Fotherindyke, the octogenarian walked
slowly out to his scarlet runners, and
laughed long and silently.
"I hain't outlived all my usefulncsi
yet," said he.— Saturday Night.
Their First Day iu Court.
It is always amusing to watch young
lawyers when they appear in court foi
the first two or three times. Either thej
are very much frightened and forget al.
they wanted to say, or they are very bole
aud seem to think that they can give tli<
Judge more points in five minutes that
he could otherwise get in half au hour.
Some have committed to memory wha'
they want to say, and, whilo they go OE
glibly with no obstacle ahead, let th«
Judge ask a question and they ur«
swamped, and flounder about hopelessly,
unable to give a coherent answer, until
the Judge gives it up and lets them ge!
, back again to the set speech.
And the effect these young lawyers
have on the old and toughened Judges is
astonishing. Some of the Judges are
thrown into their crossest moods by the
appearance of one of the youngsters.
They will make suggestions and ask what
the law is on that point, aud what au
thority there is for that proposition, un
til the ablest lawyer might well wish lu
was somewhere else.
Other Judges are caused to remember
the first time they themselves appeared
with fear aud trembling before some
stern judicial light, and they at once set
about making the young fellow feel us
much at ease as possible. They nod ap
proval and speak encouragingly and re
frain fiom making any suggestions that
Iligh 1 12. throw the novice a .liirrr,
so that he goes away feeling that ho has
done pretty well after all, and is rather
surprised aud pained when he reads the
court's opiniou showing the utter fallacy
of his whole argument. — New York
Times.
Regrreening of Vegetables.
It may be a superfluous task to paint
the lily or to gild the retiued gold, but
the rcgreeuingof vegetables has assumed
the proportions of a gigantic industry,
which has its headquarters in France,
gives employment to 20,000 persons, and
represents a business of $8,000,000.
Nine-tenths at least of the green pre
served vegetables sold in France or
abroad are said to be regreened with
sulphate of copper to give them the ap
pearance of freshness.
According to the Driti&h Medical Jour
nal the Glasgow Health Committee have
decided that, as the French Government
have annulled their re-greening prohi
bition it remains for consumers to take
care of themselves.
"A foolish British public," says tho
Glasgow report, "expects to get green
peas at Christmas such as it gets from
tho market gardens in summer. Tho
French manufacturer makes them to suit
his whim. Tho consequeuce is that it
cates stale peas greened with sulphate of
copper all the year round."
A curious fact is said to be that the
largest sale of preserved peas takes place
iu that period of the year when fresh
peas are in season.— Newcastle ( England)
Chronicle.
Electrifying a Postal Card.
On a dry day rub with a brush or with
the hand a thin piece of paper. It will
become eloctrified in a short time and
will adhere to your haud, your face or
your coat as if it had glue on it, and you
will not be able to get rid of it.
Electrify in the same manner a thick
piece of paper, a postal card for exam
ple, and you will see that, as with soal
iug-wax, glass, sulphur or resin, this
card can a'.tract light bodies (small
pieces of cork, etc.). Balance a cane on
the back of a chair and wager any oneiu
the audience that you will make it fall
without touching it, blowing it or mov
ing tho chair.
All you need do is to dry the card well
before the fire, rub it vigorously with
your sleeve and put close to one end of
the cane, which will follow it as iron fol
lows u magnet, until, having lost its
equilibrium, the caue will fall to the
floor.— Churchman.
"Derrick."
Derrick is the name of a crane used iu
shifting and lifting heavy woights. It
is said to be so called from one Theo
doric, who, while serving at Cadiz as a
soldier uuder Robert, Earl of Essex, was
doomed to death for some crime, but
pardoned by his comtuauder ou condition
that ho would hang twenty-throe other
malefactors. Such aro the revolutions of
fate that subsequently he was employed
in Loudon to behead Esses, the man who
had saved his life.— Philadelphia llecord.
In British India 28,000,000 acres aro
cultivated by irrigation.
Terms—sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
Blasting Is done by electricity.
Electric cranes are increasing in us«.
The brain of man exceeds twice that
of any other animal.
A man breathes about twenty times a
minute, or 1200 times an hour.
One dollar a minute is the charge for
using the new London-Paris telephone
line.
The great telescope of Lord Rosse, in
Irelaud, has a speculum six feet diame
ter, fifty-fire feet focus.
Pennsylvania makes fifty-two out of
every 100 tons of rolled iron in the
United States, and sixty-nine out of
every 100 steel rails.
It keeps thieo large Chicago factories
busy to manufacture the locomotivo
headlights ao<l railroad lanterns that
are used in this country. The factor
ies give employment to 1100 men and
boys.
A number of fine residences in the
Back Bay section of Boston are being
equipped with elevators operated by
electric motors. The machinecy is very
simple and compact, and the elevators
will carry two or three persons at good
speed.
An English firm manufactures a com
bined oil engine aud dynamo. A largo
number of these engines have been built
and sent throughout the various colo
nies, where they are said to be oper
ated with especial economy for small
plants.
Phosphorus is now made by aid of
electricity in Eugland, the mixture ot
phosphoric acid being decomposed by
tho heat of au electric arc embedded in
the mass. This local application of heat
ia said to be more economical than heat
ing in large retorts by the ordinary
process.
Electricity has superseded steam
power nt the royal foundry at Wurtem
burg, the dyuamo beiug driven by a
large turbine water wheel. The stream
furnishing the water is some distance
from the works, the electricity being
conveyed across tho town by overhead
couductors. The current operates some
twenty-five lathes and polishing ma
chines.
A Warsaw engineer has invented a
new harness by which the danger of shy
ing horses is averted. It is so arranged
that by pulling a string which is at
tached to the driver's seat tho horses aro
at once unhitched aud I'UC vehicle is
brought to a standstill. The invention
was tried by the best horsemen in the
city and found perfectly successful. A
model of it has been sent to St. Peters
burg with an application for a patent.
M. Mareelhacy has made some addi
tional improvements iu diving apparatus
which have received the approving in
dorsement of the French authorities. In
this arrangcmement, instead of the heavy
electric hatid lamp, employed ordinarily
by divers, the plan is to affix powerful
glow lamps at the top of the helmet, so
that the diver's hands arc at ail times
free for work. The lamp is connected
by a conductor with a battery either on
shore or in a vessel above as the case
may be.
The practicability of telegraphing
without wires has recently been demon
strated by the success of several experi
ments. Not long ago Mr. Preece, the
head electrician of the postal telegraph
system in England, succeeded in estab
lishing communication across the Solent
to the Isle of Wight, aud telegraphed
also across tho lJiver Severn, without
wires, merely using earth-plates at a suf
ficient distauce apart. It is now proposed
to make practical use of this system in
communication with lightships.
A Canine Hero.
A correspondent of au English papev
writes: "I recently witnessed the fol
lowing littlo incident on tho Thames,
near Twickenham, when the river was
full ot land water, and therefore, very
swift and dangerous. Two dogs, one a
large animal, tho other a little terrier,
were enjoying a swim near the bank, but
soon the little one was carried out some
distance and was unable to get to shore.
By this time the big dog had regained
the shore, and, seeing what was happen
ing to his companion, began running
backward and forward in the most ex
citing manner, at the same time whim
pering and barking, and evidently not
knowing for the moment what to do.
The terrier was fast losing strength, and,
although swimming hard, was being
rapidly carried down stream. Tho big
dog could contain himself no longer.
Kuuniug some yards ahead of his strug
gling friend, he plunged into the water
and swam vigorously straight out until
lie got. in a line with the little head just
appearing behind him. Then he al
lowed himself to be carried down, tail
first, until he got next to the terrier,
this being accomplished in the cleverest
mauuer, and began to swim hard, gradu*
ally pushing the little OHO nearer and
nearer to the shore, which was gained
after a most exciting time. Tho fact of
this canine hero going so far ahead to
allow for the strong current, and the
judgment shown iu getting alongside,
and then the pushing, certainly seemed
to mc to betoken instinct of a very big!'
ordw."
"I haven't had an outing for twa
years," complained Mrs. Jaysmith.
"That's too bad," replied her lresbaud
sympathetically. * 'l'll look at tho ad
vertisments aud see if there isn't a free
excursion to a sale of lots you can go t<*
today."—Wimp.
NO. 42.
A SONG FOR TWILIGHT.
Now the windr,«-wailing go
Through the acre, forsaken trees!
Wow the <iay is waxing low.
And above the troubled seas
Paint ttars glimmer, and the breeze
Haver;, sad with memories.
Now the time to part has come.
What is left for ua to say?
Shall we wander sad and dumb
> Down this garden's leaf-strewn way,
Or by tossing waves and gray
Hand in hand together stray?
In this garden shall we stand,
In the day's departing light—
Here, where first I touched your hand
On that unforgiven night
When you stood, 'mid roses bright
Dream-embodied to tho sight?
Where wo met, Love, shall -wo part?
In this garden shall we twain.
Mouth to mouth, as heart to heart, '
Loving turn, and kiss again—
In this garden shall we drain
Love's last bitter-sweet, and pain?
Nay, Love, let us leave this place;
Let us go, Dear, to the beach,
Where in happy summer days,
•Sleeping Love awoke to speech;
And his voice, tho' low, could reach
To the deepest heart of each.
There the sea winds drifting sweet
From some strange land far away,
And the blown waves as they meet
One another in the bay—
Those together haply may ,
Hint some word for us to say.
Let us kiss, then, Dear, and go
Down together to the sea.
We will kiss, Dear, meeting so,
If the days that are to be
If my heart should then be free,
In you should remember me!
—Philip B. Marston , tiv Independent.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Lies at death's door—The obituary.
Makes noise enough for two—Twins.
Going the rounds—The man climbing
a ladder.
A bird in the hand is not worth two
on a bonnet.— Life.
Shadows of a great city—lnspector
Byrne's men.— Life.
Of course a fisherman knows what his
net income is.— Lowell Courier.
One of the barbarisms—Toastiug
Indies iu hot weather.— Chisago T.iakt.
The West Point cadet defines a kiss as
a report at headquarters.— Detroit Free
Prttt.
After all, a tuning fork is merely a
kind of pitch fork.— Binghamton liepxib
lican.
The Gallant (humbly)—"l am not
wealthy, Miss Lauras but I " The
Beauty—"That will do, Mr. Golightly,
No!!" Puck.
Seaside laudlords are preparing to get
your surplus money if it takes all
summer.
If we had microscopic eyes, beauty
would not be skin deep.— Pittsburg
Dispatch.
Take a lesson from the strawberry
box. It is never full.— We.it/uld (2V. J.)
Standard.
A man whose soul is harrowed is not
necessarily a cultured individual.—Bos
ton Herald.
About the poorest occupation you can
find is to sit down and admire yourself.
I tarn's Horn.
Great men are only ordinary men with
their hair combed and their faces washed.
—Atchison Olobe.
The best method of keeping books—
Don't let your friends know you have
any.— Boston Post.
The world would be much better than
it is if men would live up to their obitua
ries.— Cape Cod Item.
There is one lucky thing about spoiled
children —we never have them in our own
family.— Elmira Gazette.
The angler first lies in wait for his
catch, and then lies in weight of his
catch.— Harritburg Telegram.
The man who talks in his sleep is not
as much of a nuisance as the man who
sleeps in his talk.— Boston. Courier.
Men would be very wise if they could
only learn as much as their boys think
they could teach them.— Ham's Horn.
If you want a thing well done, do it
yourself generally; but when it comes
to sewing on a button you had better
ask your wife.— Someitille Journal.
Society Note- The groom's present to
the bride was a handsome diamond
brooch, besides many other beautiful
things in cut glass.— Elmira Gazette.
One of Dr. Howard Crosby's charac
teristic puns was his translation of "Iu
vino Veritas," which he Knglished as
"Brandy peaches."— New York Independ
ent.
"My social instincts are always very
strong," said the policeman. "It gives
me intense satisfaction to meet, some
good clubablo fellow."— Washington
Post.
Smith was about to die, aud was mad
about it. "Let me place your head
lower on the pillow, dear," said Mrs.
Smith, gently. "Soy I" said Sir. Smith,
faintly, "who's doing this dying, you or
I?" Judge.
A Matter of Taste: "Say, barber,"
said the victim to the artist, "you are
using a different brand of shaving soap
than you used last week." "Why do you
think 50#" "It tastes different."— New
twrh