SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
W M t CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. IX.
Yon Moltke was little known at the
age of sixty. His greatest -work was be
tween tho ago of sixty-six and seventy
one.
The London iStandard says the world's
wheat crop this year will be 20,000,000
quarters short, and as America can't sup
ply it all a prosperous outlook exists for
English farmers.
Eight thousand acres of land in Mis
souri have been bought by a syndicate
and will be planted in ccru and used as
it fattening ground for range cattle. The
projectors of the scheme expect it to
make Missouri the leadiDg cattle State in
the Union.
East Granby, Conn., boasts of support
ing the smallest school in the Union.
The Cooper Hill district has only two
children of school age. One of them be
ing a stout boy, stays at home this term
to help on the farm, leaving only OLS to
attend school.
There are twelve streets in Amsterdam,
Holland, on which no horso is ever al
lowed to be driven, even to draw a
hearse or fire engine. They are kept as
clean as floors, alleges the Detroit Free
l'rtss , and when a pedestrian wants to
rest he sits down in the street in prefer
ence to roosting on a dry-goods box.
Writing from Valparaiso, Chili, Fan
nie B. Ward says: "English goods are
almost exclusively sold; an English news
paper is published; there is an English
church, an English hospital, English doc
tors and dentists galore; in fact, Val
paraiso is little more than a great English
colony, with a liberal sprinkling of Ger
mans and Frenchmen, a few Chileans and
fewer Americans."
A New York horse-life insurance
company, insuring only sound and gen
erally young animals worth between SIOO
and S4OO each, reports that of 704 horses
dying within tho last five years IS3 died
of colic, seventy-seven of inflammation
of the bowels, seventy-four of kidney
trouble, fifty-one of pneumonia, fifty-two
of sunstroke, thirty of pinkeye, ten of
heart disease, four of blind staggers, nine
kiiled by runaways, four ware drowned,
two were killed by lightning, 128 died
of unknown diseases, and eight were
burned.
Washington is the only city of a
quarter of a million inhabitants in the
Union that has no factory girls. The
lack of manufacturing and commercial
enterprises reduces the working women
to a minimum. A few arc employed in
retail stores, photographic galleries and
private offices, but the majority who
earn their living are in politics. An
other novelty is the total absence of tene
ment house life. Even the poorest little
colored mammy has a house of her own,
where she reigns queen of the castle and
high priestess of her daughter's children.
According to a writer in the Nation,
members of the Mafia, the Italian secret
society, have a playful manner of indi
cating to the frieuds of one of their vic
tims the wherefore of his removal. Ii
he has oveiheard the secrets of the so
ciety, his ears are cut off; if he has seen
more than it is safe for one man to see,
the skin of his forehead is flayed and
turned down over his eyes; or if he has
injured one of the Maflosi, a hand is cut
off. These mutilations do. not hurt the
victim, who is dead before they are in
flicted, but they convey a lesson that is
seldom lost on his surviving relatives.
It is an open secret, asserts the New
York Times, that the United States, dur
ing the recent war in Haiti, threw the
•weight of its moral support with the
Ilippolvte faction, by reason of an im
plied if not expressed assurance that, if
victorious, Mole St. Nicholas would be
ceded to the United States. "But every
one familiar with the Haitian character,"
said a man the other day who has had
considerable experience in that land,
"anticipated the difficulties which Ad
miral Gherardi encountered in his in
effectual attempt to conclude negoti
ations for the coaling station. It is a
trito saying that a politician of the
Haytiau Republic is perfidious and time
serving. The natives have, however,
an almost superstitious reverence for
probity. Iu a cemetery in the northern
portion of the island is the grave of a
Cabinet Minister, and over it is a monu
ment inscribed with naught but the
name and appreciative sentence: 'He
was honest.' Sublimely simple epitaph,
1"1 "Milch is summed up the nui'cst virtue
iu iua« clouded land I"
"NOT AS I WILU"
Blindfolded H&d alone I stand
With unknown thresholds on each hand,
The darkness deepens as I grope,
Afraid to fear, afr»id to hope;
Vet this-one thing I learn to know
Bach day more surely as I go,
Thit doors are opened, ways are madet
Burdens are lifted or are laid
By gome great laW unseen and still
Unfathomed purpose to fulfill,
"Not as I will."
Blindfolded and alone I wait;
Loss too bitter, gain too late;
Too heavy burdens in the load.
And joy is weak and grief is strong,
And years and days so long, so long;
"Vet this one thing I learn to know
Eaoh day more surely as I go.
That I am glad the good and ill
By changeless law are ordered still,
" Not as I will."
"Not as I will;" tho sound grows sweet
Each time my lips the words repeat.
"Notas I will"—the darkness feels
More safe than light when this thought steals
Like whispered voice to calm and bless
All unrest and loneliness.
" Not as I will"—because the One
Who loved us first and best has gone
Before us on the road, and still
For us must all His love fulfill.—
"Not as we will."
—Helen Hunt Jctckaon.
IIERMIONE.
BY MANY E. MOFFAT.
Tho master of Briar Hedge Farm stood
thoughtfully apart fro«j the placo whoro
his young cousin was laving his face and
hands at the hydrant, which had been
placed in the summer kitchen for the
convenience of the men in the busy sea
sin.
Some unpleasant thing had happened,
or Guy Fellows's- frank face would not
have worn such a perplexed, uneasy
look. At last he said, quietly:
"I wish to speak to you, Louis."
"Yes, Guy,'' answered Louis, in a
startled voice; for Guy's manner was so
unlike his usual one that it foreboded
trouble of some kind, though what it
•ould be was a puzzle. Had ho hurt
himself? or had his pet colt gone lame?
"Something unpleasant has happened.
Hermione's bank-book is gone, and they
tell me, at the bank, that the money
was drawn yesterday bj a man who had
an order purporting to be signed by
ine."
"Either the officials at the bank arc
very careless, or the handwriting must
have been a good imitation. Banks
can't be ruuch protection to the people
depositing in them, if it is 90 easy to
get another person's money out. It
strikes me I won't patronize them much
when iny ship comes in."
"Forgery is difficult to be guarded
against, Louis,aud the name appended to
the order is such a perfect facsimile of my
autograph that I myself could not detect
the difference. Is this your work?"
As Louis looked at the page of foolscap
which was held toward him, and which
■was scribbled over with various names,
among which was that of Guy Fellows,
he first turn red and then pale. For
Lojis was very expert with his pen, und
was always coppying specimens of
peculiar handwriting which fell in his
way.
"Yes, it is mine," he said, with a
brave effort to tell the truth, 110 matter
what might be the consequences. For
like a lightning flash he realized what
danger was hanging over him—a worse
one than was the fabled sword which
had thrcaUned Damocles in olden time,
for that only menaced life, and this, at
what did it not strike a blow? For an
instant he jtood as though dazed, look
ing blankly into Guy Fellows's troubled
face; then he threw himself impulsively
upon his knees before him.
"I see now. It looks badly, Cousin
Guy, but <jon't judge me by appearances
—judge we by what you know of me
since we have been together. Do you
think auj one who knew her would
have a haifd in robbing Ilermoine? No,
not even if he were an accomplished
thief, far less a man whose only wealth
lies in his good name!"
"I believe you, Louis, even in the
face of cridence which would convict
you in a clurt of justice. I have felt all
along thai you were innocent; and, see
here."
As Gur Fellows spoke he held up the
paper whjch had been given as an order
for the mpney, and let Louis compare the
brief foriii signed with his name with
'he which he had ac
knowledged as his work. Then he turned
and liftiuj; a lid from the cook-stove, put
the dangerous document in aud watched
it catch tire and then burn to ashes.
Guy Fallows, although scarcely thirty
five, had come into a fine inher
itance byjthe death of his father. He. was
a practical farmer, aud also what some
people consider a visionary one. That
is, be wpj always trying any new experi
ment whiph might commend itself as an
improvement uponold-fashicned ways.
Louis Carmiehael was a second cousin,
who had been taken tinder his protec
tion aftej the death of lis parents. lie
had beeif with hiin now about four years,
and although somewhat dreamy and un
practical, had grown very dear to his
generous kinsman.
Another inmate of the family was
Hermoide Alleyne, the orphan ward of
Guy Fellows. She was two years
younger than Louis, fiut looked t<v be
his eijual in age, as he was slender and
boyish-looking, while Hermiouo wa» vt
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 19, 1891.
tall nnd stately proportions. But het
playful ways, and merry, laughing face
were still essentially child-like.
In his secret heart Louis cherished the
the hopo that; some time in the far
future, he might win her love, when he
should have attained to fortune and
fame. But Hermione was quite an
heiress for a country-bred girl, and ho
was too prond to let hor know of his
love unless he could meet her upon equal
ground.
Now, had Guy been less noble in his
trusting generosity, Louis would have
been crushed to the earth with shame.
As it wus, it caused him to elevate his
cousin into the hero of his life, and
determine to repay him.
It was quite a long timo before he had
the desired chance, but it came at last.
Guy, although wealthy, did not disdain
to put his own shoulder to tho wheel
day after day and set his men a good ex
ample. None could lay a more regular
swath of grass with the sickle in mow
ing time. No one could cut, or bind
the ranks of grain with more rapidity
than he. It was before tho time when
mowing and reaping machines took all
the poetry out of harvesting, and Her
rnioue was fond of making a visit to the
scene of labor about hincheon time,
carrying with her a pitcher brimming
over with a cooling, non-stimulating
boverago.with which to quench tho men's
thirst.
Then, book in hand, she would seat
herself under the shade of some friendly
tree, and alternately read or note the
movements of the actors in the busy
scene before her.
One day in the height of the harvesting
one of the men fell ill, and it chanced
that a stranger came to tho place and
to be employed about the farm.
He was a dark, unprepossessing man,
with restless, uneasy ways and lowering,
stealthy looks from his deep-set eyes;
but Guy engagod him, thinking only of
the inconvenience of being short-handed
at the time.
After they had all set oIT for the fields
a man drove up to the farm-house in hot
haste, asking if n person of the stranger's
description had been seen there; aud
upon receiving a reply in the affirmative
he looked very much startled, and caused
llermione's blood to turn cold in her
veins by explaining the causo of tho un
easiness.
"lie is an escaped lunatic, and nearly
killed his keeper to make his way out of
the mad-house, if his frenzy seizes upon
him he will make a bloody record for
himself before the day ii over. Is any
one here who can go and warn Mr. Fel
lows? It won't answer for me to be
seen by him. He knows me and it
would set him frantic to know that he
has been followed. The only safety iie*
in not arousing his suspicious until a
strait-jacket can be put upon hiin."
"I will go,"said llermione, unhesitat
ingly. "I would do anything to prevent
such a tragedy!"
"Take this with you and give it to
Mr. Fellows. It is a strait-jacket.
Whisper the truth about the man to him,
and tell him to watch his opportunity
and take him by surprise."
She reached the place, and catching
her guardian's eye, motioned him to
come to her; and, in a few frightenc I
whispers, told him the danger that
threatened him.
Some instinct must have attracted the
lunatic's attention and convened to his
mind the idea that they were speaking
of him; for, with a wild cry, he banished
the scythe he held in his hand with
threatening gestures and shouts of fren
zied 112 jry. Then he started toward them.
Louis had stopped work a moment
previous, and was about half-way be
tween his cousin and the madman. Look
ing up. upon hearing the discordant
yells, he saw at once that Guy's life was
in danger, and, throwing himself direct
ly in front of the madman, caught him
about the waist and cluiig to him, mak
ing himself as much of a deadweight as
possible. The swinging scythe described
a mad circle in the air, and then it
descended upon Louis, yiving him a fear
ful cut in tho fide. Hut by this time others
had reached them, and the lunatic was
overpowered by numbers and secured.
Louis, however, lay like one dead—
prostrated by the shock, and with the
blood pouring from his ghastly wound.
Unless it could be stanched at once he
must bleed to death; but where were the
cloths to apply to it before a messenger
could be sent to the farm-house?
This qucston was soon answered.
Ifermione was dressed in a dainty gown
of embroidered white linen, with a man
tle of the surae material over her shoul
ders. She tore this in pieces, aud,
kneeling by him, applied one after an
other to life wound as each in turn be
came wet with blood. Her white hands
were colored crimson, aud her dr»ss wa<
spotted with the same ensanguined hue;
but she faltered not. She who had al
ways before felt faint, even at the sight
of blood, now unflinchingly played the
part of surgeon until more skilled help
could arrive."
In these terrible moments Hermione
first learned her heart's secret. Without
Louis the whole world would henceforth
be as uothing to her.
For long days afterv.ard the youth's
life trembled in the balance, but at last
his naturally strong constitution
triumphad and he began to mend. Guy
and Hermione were rarely absent frti.n
his bedside, and one day Louis surprised
them by saying with a faltering voio«,
while his pale lips parted in a half
smile:
"Cousin Guy, we ore even. One yood
turn deserm another. You onvuti u
reputation, and I rather think yon would
have been a dead mdn now if it hadn't
been for me. It's worth or.e'a While to
earn a fellow's gratitude, isn't it!''
"What does he mean? Is his mind
wandering?" asked Hermione, looking
from one to the other with surprised
eyes.
"Ho is thinking of the bank book you
lost, Hermione. He was afraid I would
conuect him with the forgery on account
of his fancy for copying signatures."
"What a silly boyl I would as soon
imagine an angel from heaven conld dd
such a thing as you Louis!" aud Her
mione took his poor, pale hand and
kissed it, bright tears falling upon it as
she did so, in spite of her efforts at self
coutrol. "And lam sure Cousin Guy
never onco thought of k, did you?"
turning almost florcely toward hor
guardian. "If you did I would never
forgive you!"
Guy smiled. Her indignation was so
childishly impulsive that it took away
the sting of her words. Then, too, ho
did not deserve it.
"Gently, Hermione," he said, "or
you may hurt Louis's feelings. You
won't hear Cousin Guy scolded, will you,
boy?"
But Louis made no answer, Ho was
for the moment oblivious of the presence
or even of the existence of any one but
Ilermione. Her agitation had betrayed
her secret to him, and he was so exult
antly, recklessly happy that ho recked
not of anything outside of the one bliss
ful fact that his love was returned by
Hermione.
"I sec. Tis tho old. old story," said
Guy, gravely but kindly; and he took
llermione's hand and placed it within
Louis's, 1 'and I will now leave you alone
to s«ttlo matters between you, merely
saying to you, Louis, thiit the Upland
farm is yours, and that I shall secure to
you the funds with which to carry it on
successfully. As you said, a little while
ago, 'One good turn deserves another.'
nnd I thus prove the truth of the adage.
You proved it previously in what was
almost your death."
As soon as Louis was fully recovered,
he and Hermoine were married.
It was not until several years later that
the truth about the lost hank-book camo
out. It had been left carelessly upon
the library table, aud a thief who had
gained unobserved entrance to the
house had stolen it, and at the same
.tine had picked up one of Lotiis's
practice-papers, thinking that it would
serve to aid him in drawing the money,
as he had a confederate who was handy
enough with his pen to take advantage
of the fac-siroile to Guy Fellows's hand
writing.—Fashion Buzar.
"The Silent Dane."
In his early mauhood Moltke was
called "The Silent Dane," and later he
was popularly known as "The Great
lacituru;" yet he could speak seven
languages fluently. Although one of the
world's profoundest aud sternest soldiers,
lie was one of the most modest and affec
tionate of men. Occasionally one might
see him in Berlin driving in a plain cab,
or suuutering along a principal street
looking in at the shop windows, but few
recognized him. lie was as regular as
the sun in his daily tasks; and even in
the lighter employments ol his long life
he was ever painstaking and methodical.
Out of these traits grew, withal, his line
literary ability, that, besides his pub
lished letters, produced several valuable
military histories.
The crowning honor of his life was
the way Germany celebrated the comple
tion of his ninetieth year. From the
Baltic to the Alps, from the Vosges to
the Vistula, every household joined in
the great jubilee, hung out the national
colors and likenesses of Moltke in flags
and torches. Berlin was decorated and
enthusiastic as it had never before been
for any private citizen. Germans
throughout the world set apart October
26, IS9O, as a fete day for the Vater
land, and a day of praises and congratu
lations for her greatest soldier. The
grim old Field Marshal was taciturn, al
most by necessity, being nearly smoth
ered by honors and rich presonts; but
when the city fathers of Berlin sent him
their greetings, accompanied by the
sum of lifty thousand marks as a charity
fund for the relief of the aged and in
firm, he replied: "Gentlemen, say to
your Council that this gift touches mj
heart, and that of the many and rich
presents I have received to-day, this is
the most valued." When, since the
death of Washington, has the world seen
a more modest, complete, successful and
noble life?— Harper's Weekly.
Sheep's Wool Sponge.
There is on exhibition at a store in
I'eari street, New York, an enormous
sheep's wool sponge, which is said to bo
the largest one ever obtained. It meas
ures ten feot in circumference and is two
feet thick, being quite solid throughout.
It was Ashed up near the Bahama Islands
by the crew of a vessel engaged in that
trade, aud, judging by the stories of the
fishermen, they had a tough tirr.o in get
ting their prize aboard. Being inn
small dingey when the hooks fastened
themselves in the sponge, the men nearly
upset their boat in the effort to haul the
sponge to the surface. When it wai
finally secured, the iron prongs of th»
hook h:td become straightened o.tt u»i.
der the tremendous weight. When thor
oughly soaked this monster sponge is said
to hold ten pailful? of water.— Timet-
Democrat.
The farmer declares a divideud on kit
plowiiuna,— Wwtitihjluu Htm,
Terms—Sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
It has been shown that if the sun was
a burning sphere of solid coal it could
not last 6000 years.
The price of platicum has advanced
fully 100 par cent., owing to its in
creased use for electrical purposes.
When the Minneapolis suspension
bridge was removed recently, the anchor
age irons, although they had been care
fully imbedded in cement, were found to
be deeply Corroded.
One million tubes for Koch's lymph is
the work tvhich is at present engaging
the attention of a German glass works.
The tubes are made of a fine quality of
glass, and are closed with a glass stop
per.
A sugar, fifteen times sweeter than
cane-sugar, and twenty times sweeter
than beet-sugar, is reported by a German
chemist lrom cotton-seed meal. It can
not be sold to compete with the ordinary
article.
M. Damoiseau, of France, has in
vented a camera to take panoramic
views. It is made to turn on its axis so
truly that the picture on the entire strip
of sensitive paper is said to be perfectly
clear in its details.
Tho four most common causes of boil
er explosions are external corrosion,
overheating, overpressure and weakness
of flus. The four least common causes
arc absence of safety valve, bad material,
weak manhole and deposit.
The principle of the compressed papei
car wheels, which are so widely used
throughout the world, is applied in
France to the manufacture of pulleys for
power transmission. The pulleys arc
said to be very light, cheap and service
able in every respect.
A Swedish metallurgist, C. A. Casper
son, tests the hardness cf iron or steel in
process of manufacture by eleotricallv
melting a sample of certain size and com
paring the strength of current necessary
with that known to be required to fuse
standard pieces of metal of determined
hardness.
A firm of stone cutters in Berlin have
introduced a pneumatic chisel into theii
establishment. The workman holds the
syringe-like apparatus with both hands,
and, as he slides it over the surface of
the stono or metal, tho chisel, making
10,000 or 12,000 revolutions a minute,
chips oil particles.
A German electrician, Herr Gulchcr,
has made a thermo-electric battery giv
ing electric power equivalent to 1.08 pel
cent, of the heat employed, and hopes
to exhibit at Frankfort a battery which
will yield at least five per cent, net effect.
With an economical source of heat, he
believes that his thermo-electric battery
will even excel the dynamo machine in
efficiency.
A gallon pail filled with fine sand
placed within easy reach of each work
man employed where oiling and finish
ing is going on is strongly recommended
as an essential part of the equipmoot for
fire protection in wood-working estab
lishments. This practice can te followed
with advantage wherever there is a pos
sibility of fire starting in oil or oil-soaked
materials. It has been found that noth
ing will subdue an oil-fed fire so quicklj
and effectually as sand, and the subse
quent freedom from water damage is a
strong point in its use.
Ancient Man in the Mississippi Vallej.
Let us now take the antiquity of clas
sical lore and see how it compares with
that of the American continent, as evi
denced by our mysterious mounds, and
the indications of a great and glorious
past set forth by our lost and ruined cit
es, as well as by the fossil remains
Drought to light through the researches
)f Agassiz and others eminent in science
md archaeology. In the "Types of Man
iind," pp. 137, 138, we have thefollow
,ng:
"In digging for the gas-works at New
Orleans, sixteen feet below the surface,
beneath the fourth forest-level, burnt
wood was found and the skeleton of a
man."
Dr. Bennet Dowler, in his "Tableaux
of New Orleans," goes into a calculation
which proves it correct, that the fourth
cypress forest level must have been
formed 57,000 years ago, and that con
sequently the skeleton had been roposing
whero it was found for that period of
time. Such of the mounds ot tho Mis
sissippi Valley as have been explored
have clothed us with a prehistoric past
the most mysterious aud overwhelming.
They reveal another page in the history
and chronology of the world—a strange
civilization of a great people that had
passed away thousands of years before
that mummy had "walked about in
Thebes'? streets.— lidford.
Greenland's Bust.
The cosmic dust collected bv Norden
skjold in Greenland iu 1883 has been
submitted to scientific examination, and
found to consist chiefly of felnspar,
quartz, mica and hornblende, with a
smaller proportion of some other com
mon minerals, a nitrogenous organic sub
stance, and some particles similar to
those obtained in deep sea sound! \gs. It
is believed that the last-named material
has come from space, and that the other
substances have been carried in tho air
from a region of crystalline schists. If
the dust taken from the Greenland snow
represents the fall of one year, the total
annual fall on the earth's surface isequiv
ulent to a cube of thirty-one yards ou n
fide. — Trenton [N. J.) Amtrican.
NO. 36.
TIS SWEET.TO BEST,\
When ta the early dawn of lit#' 1 ' >
The childish hands grow tired of pWy,
Then from the traraery din and strife ,
The baby feet speed fast away
And never ceaso until tb«y find 'I '
That mother's door is opetr wide; S
And tightly clasped in arms a? kind < /
The little one doth now abide;
What cares he now, her baby boy, \
His weary head is on her breast, \
To him the world is naught but joy.
For now he knows, '"Tig sweet to rest."
Tears pass. He's now in rnkkllar life.
His youthful joys have fled away.
His soul is rent by caro and strifo,
His heart's no longer young and gwy; j
The mother whom he loved so well
Has long sinco sought her homo above, i]
His wife and child have gone 1 to dwell
In realms of everlasting love;
He's lonely, weary, and in vain
His feelings he has long suppressed;
For now they all rise up again
And tell him that, " 'Tis sweet to rest."
But quick! lead on, good Father Time,
Who can that aged stranger be?
See now the hillside he doth climb;
And now sinks down all wearily, "r
His hoary head is bent nnd gray, !
The flickering spark of life is gone, 'I
His sorrowing soul has passed away;
And now his wearv toil is done,
He sleeps the sleep of peaco and joy, _ i
He's gone to lie on God's dear breast,* •
The mother's come to take her boy
To where 'tis ever sweet to rest.
—Katherine Walker, in liostoit Transcript.
HUMOR OF THE DAY."«*$
An old stick-in-the mud—An anchor. \
It is peculiar that when a man is full
he lias a vacant look.
There is very little security in a light
ning bolt.— LoueU Courier.
" Some men can't stand suspense," as
the philosopher said when he witnessed
the hanging— Columbus Post.
The man that has "gone to grass" finds
that he has to keep off of it when he has
got to the public parks.— Puck.
A Chicago man has just had a coat-of
arms fixed up with the inotto, "Ail
things come to him who hustles."
"Hello, "said the citizcu, as he watched
a cloud of dust arising, "I see real es
tate is going up again."— Washington,
Post.
That was an ingenious disciple of Isaak
Walton who fished for electric eels with
a lightning rod.— Boston Commercial Bul
letin.
It is all right to hawk spring-chickens
about the streets, but it isn't to hawk
them about a barnyard.— Washington
Star.
Sharp—"Renthaus is going to move
again." Flat—"How do you know."
Sharp—"He's using up the bauk steps
for kindling."— Puck.
A man in North Carolina has a horse 40
years old, and he is doing all he can to
smooth the animal's pathway to the glus
factory— Texas Siftings.
Freshly—"The moon is just comfort
ably full now." Old Soak (with the
knowledge of experience)—"lt will
soon be reduced to its last quarter."
Sunday School Teacher:—"When
your father and mother forsake you, who
will take you up?" Small Boy: "The
perlice, sir."— Harvard. Lampoon.
Beggar—"l was once a soldier, sir."
Veteran—"You were, eh? I'll prove it.
Attention! Eyes right!—now, what is
next?" Beggar—"Present arms."— New
York Herald.
Things One Would Rather: Algernon
(who is much given to talking in phrases)
—"Angelina, I love you with a fer
vor—a fervor worthy of a better cuusei"
—Harvard Lampoon.
Mr. Rasticus—"Miss Simper, shall wo
promenade?" Miss Simper—"Promc
nahd? With a pleasure.'' Mr. Rasti
cus—"Shall we have a glass of—er—
lemonahd first?"— Chicago Tribune.
"Mercy me ! " said Miss Passee; " I
sincerely hope they will not pass the law
making a day of eight hours." " Why
not ? " "Just think how rapidly we shall
age ! Just three times as last."—Har
per's Bazar.
The editor of the Chicago Tribune has
probably run into an umbrella. He
prints this admonition: "No man shouid
carry a half opened umbrella in a crowd.
He should either pul up or shut up."—
Kansas City Star.
Old Vickars—"Oh, of course, you
think you know ever so much more than
your father." Young Vickars—"Oh,
no, I don't; indeed I don't. It is, no
doubt, true that your age and experience
more than counterbalance my superior
intellectual ability, pa."— lndianapolis
Journal.
" Well," said a lawyer ns he entered his
condemned client's cell, " good news at
last." "A reprieve?" eagerly ex
claimed the prisonor. " No, not a re
prieve, but your uncle has died and left
you $2500, and now you can meet your
fate with the satisfying feeling that the
noble efforts of your lawyer in your be
half were not unrewarded"— London Tid
Bit*.
"Young man," said the stern father,
"do you realize that my daughter is in
the habit of weariug drrsses that cost all
the way from #SO to $100?" "I do,"
replied the young man, firmly, "and,
sir," he continued, an exultant ring in
his voice," it was only the other night
that we took an account of stock and
I'ound that she had enough of them to
••ist three year* ahead."— Cloak tin it if.