SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN;
W. M, CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. IX.
The Massachusetts Bureau of Statin
tics finds that 126,000 acres of Massa
chusetts farms have been abandoned.
Delaware is said to have more living
ex-Governors than auv other State in the
Union. Five of them—B. T. Biggs,
John P. Cochran, James Ponder, John
W. Hall and Charles F. Stokley—are
still engaged in active business.
"There is no annexation sentiment in
this country," protests the New York
Tribune. "On the contrary, if the ques
tion came up in any practical form,
there would be a powtrful opposition to
it. And if Canada begged to be an
nexed, it is possible that her request
would be declined with thanks. Even
the million Canadians now in this coun
try are not agitating the question of an
nexation. Having annexed themselves,
they are not at all anxious to let others
in."
Senator Higgins, of Delaware, says
thut the whipping-post and the pillory
are still retained in his State, owing to
the fact that the State lies in the neigh
borhood of three great cities, and that it
has to adopt unusual means to protect it
self from becoming the asylum of crimi
nals from these great centres. He is him
self opposed to the preservation of these
forms of punishment, states the New
York Tribune, although he concedes that
their preservation has a tendency to make
criminals give the State a wide berth.
The whipping of to-day, adds the Tri
bune, is merely nominal and in no way
resembles the brutul punishment of the
post when the cat-o'-uine-tails as a form
of punishment was first established.
There are, according to recent reports,
135 medical colleges in the United States
whose diplomas are recognized by all
health authorities, entitling their holders
to the right to practice medicine. Chi
cago has eight of these institutions, St.
Louis and Cincinnati seven, Louisville
five, Atlanta four, and these institutions
annually graduate 5000 students. The
United. States iiccordincly have one tuedi- ■
cal school to every 460,000 inhabitants;
Germany,with her numerous universities,
one for every 2,000,000; Great Britain
one for every 3,000,000, and France one
for every 6,800,000. "It will be seen
from these presents," comments the St.
Louis Star-Sai/inys, "that American col
leges, on the quantitative side of their
endeavor, easily distance the institutions
of effete Europe."
"It is a significant fact," says the
Congregationcilist, "that fifteen ministers
are employed on the daily press of New
York City, writing on religious topics.
It docs not indicate missionary zeal on
the part of the newspapers, but it shows
that religion is a matter of growing popu
lar interest, and that the constituency
which is most valuable to the secular
press demands to know what is going on
in the world of religious thought and life.
It is encouraging to note that scandals
concerning ministers and churches no
longer monopolize the columns devoted
to religious matters. Another remarka
ble fact is that the greatest number of
books published lust year in this country,
next to works of fiction, were on religious
subjects, while a large proportion of the
novels aiso were written with religious
aims. No subject occupies so large a
place in current thought as that which
concerns men's relations with God and
their future destinies, and no other sub
ject is so steadily increasing its hold on
public attention."
In its career of more than seven cen
turies, the Corporation of London has
had at its head a number of peculiai
men, states the New York Times, but
the present Lord Mayor, Joseph Savory,
seems to bo more kinds of an ass than is
usual, even among city Aldermen. His
exploit in writing a letter to the Czai
about the Hebrews, which was returned
unopened, and his attack upon General
Booth were enough themselves to settle
his status, even by the feeble intellectual
standards of Mayoralty succession, but
he has been caught now in a thing which
covers him with ridicule. He preached
the sermon to the young men at Poly
technic Sunday week, which was print
ed in full by a shorthand report in the
course of u few days. It was then dis
covered that the sermon was identical
with one preached by Spurgeon in 186*
—No. 552 in his printed series. Savorj
then declared that he had never seen the
sermon in question, whereupon the two
were published in parallel col.ims, mak
ing t'x- plagiarism unmistakable.
GREATER THAN LOVE.
Why do they rave of love, these poeta who
Tempt heaven's very airs to hear them
rave?
Is there naught el9e to praise 'neath heaven's
blue,
Naught else to sing above the sounding
wave?
Brave men lived long ere Agamemnon died;
What braver theme tor aye than brave
men's deeds?
Brave women their whole sex have sancti
fied
By gentle courage 'neath a woman's
weeds!
Faith toward God and man, and woman,
too,
For all who suffer, hope and charity I
These are the heavenliest things beneath the
blue.
The noblest themes above the sounding
sea!
The Continent.
A GOTHAM* INCIDENT,
CHARACTERS:
ETHEL VAN RENSSELAER.
HARRY SHIPMAN, her cousin.
DR. POTTER, arising young physician.
ANOELO, a newsboy.
Passengers in a street car, eta.
Scene—A crowded Madison avenue
cnr.
[Enter Miss Van Rensselaer, in au ap
proved Lenten gown of pale gray, and a
demure little poke. She sinks into the
only remaining seat with a sigh of
relief.]
Ethel (to herself): There is that good
looking young doctor I met at Mrs.
Smvthe's last week. I suppose he
thought me very frivolous. I wonder if
he would know me if I should bow
[Glances with a careless air toward the
corner scat, and finds the young man
looking at her with a puzzed air, where
upon she bows demurely, and he raises
his hat, still looking as if he were not
quite sure of her identity.]
Ethel (to herself): I might as well be
one of the mummies at the Museum of
Art, to judge by the expression ou his !
lace. Indeed, I suppose if I were a
mummy he would feel more interest.
[Turns around and pretends to be deeply
interested in a paper-covered volume of
Daudet which she carries.
Dr. Potter (to himself): There is that
pretty Miss Van Rensselaer whom I saw
somewhere—oh, 'twas at Mrs. Smythe's
I'm afraid she thought me awfully dull
because I talked of nothing but the
weather. That's always an interesting
subject to a doctor, though, especially
this winter. Heigho? I'm a fool to
imagine that she gave a thought to mo
after we parted, favorable, or otherwise;
probably 'twas otherwise, if anything.
[At this point he is cut short in his re
flections by the car stopping at the Park i
Avenue Hotel,where a number of women I
enter. As he rises to give his seat to I
one of thera, enter a small newsboy on i
crutches, with a dark Italian face and
pathetic brown eyes. He holds a small
bunch of lead pencils, and almost in
stantly every lady in the car opens her
purse. The boy has pulled off his red
cap to receive the liberal shower of dimes
and nickels, but does not even make a
feint of giving his papers or pencils in
return.]
Dr. Potter (to himself): If Mies Van
Rensselaer hasn't offered that boy her
seat! Lazy little rascal!
[As the boy reached her scat Miss Van
Rensselaer had jumped up impulsively,
but the boy rather shamefacedly shook
his head, and she sank back, blushing,
and feeling that the eyes of the whole
car were upon her.]
Ethel (to herseli): Therel You have
made a goose of yourself, and all for the
sake of making a good impression on a
young man who didn't even remember
you until you bowed to him. I'm
ashamed of you!
[The car stops, several people get off.
Dr. Potter draws Angelo to a seat beside
him. J
Dr. Potter (to Angelo): Now, my
boy, I am going to buy you pencils, but
I shall not give you the money. I shall
pay for the pencils, and take them.
That's a profitable trade you've just
carried on, but it isn't exactly according
to business principles, you know—or any
other principles for that matter.
[Miss Van Rensselaer rises to leave the
car, dropping her book as she does so.
While Dr. Potter is recovering it for her
she speaks in a low tone to Angelo, and
then, having kept the car waiting a suit
able time, she smiles graciously on Dr.
Potter and departs. ]
Girl in Redfern Gown (to artistic girl
by her side): Pretty? Ye-s—but not
half so pretty as Eva. Still, her gowns
are always pretty, and that makes such a
difference.
Artistic Girl. She is the sort of girl
that men always admire. Did you no
tice how that young doctor never took
his eyes off of her? I met him at a dance
last month, but he doesn't remember me.
School-girl (looking after Miss Van
Rensselaer): How perfectly sweet the
is!
Scene—ln the Berkeley Lyceum.
Ethel Van Rensselaer (to her cousin, a
youth who is carefully training a mous
tache): Do see Kate Schuyler's sweet
little piu—not that one, the enameled
one with the diamond dewdrop. Do
you know, I never have jewelry enough?
People are always sending me candy and
flowers. Ido wish they would be more
generous!
[ A pause, during which her cousin as
sists in removing her wrap.]
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 24, 1891.
Ethel: I've been wearing nothing but
old duds all winter because I wanted to
save my money to buy gowns in Paris.
We are going over in May. But, do you
know? I've already spent my allowance
up to July.
Harry: Last July?
Ethel: Next July! And, really, I
have hardly a thing to show for it. You
see, papa gave' me my Redfern habit,and
mamma gave me my bridesmaid's dress
that I wore at Mary's wedding. So, ac
tually, all my money was spent on my
Josephine gown. But it is perfectly
sweet—you haven't seen it yet? Well,
it has a diagonal row of green-and-gold
beetles edging the folds. Oh, I'm so
glad Mrs. A. sings now! Isn't she sweet?
The other night, at Amy's musicale, she
sang the cutest songs!
[Quiet during the song. As the last
chord is played, Ethel coughs.]
Ethel: There! I had to keep from
coughing so long it nearly killed me.
Low voice from next row (grimly)
Keep from talking, you mean. I should
think it would 1
[Ethel turns scarlot and looks intently
at her programme for a few moments.
Then glancing up, she for the first time
observes Dr. Potter, in the vicinity.]
Ethel (to herself, in a horrified tone):
lam absolutely certain he has heard
everything I have said this whole even
ing. What will he think of a girl who
talks about gowns and things all the
time? (To Harry, sternly): Did you read
Bryce's "Commonwealth?"
Harry (uneasily): No-o. The fact is,
a fellow gets behind in his reading wheu
he's training. You see, a senior has so
many clubs—and then you girls are al
ways besieging us togo to your teas anjl
dances.
Ethel (still sternly): You don't have
togo to dances in Lent.
Harry (assuming the offensive): Well,
what do you do in Lent?
Ethel (promptly): Goto the Stoddard
readings and the Browning classes; and
there are the Buliw recitals.* And theu
I lunch somewhere every day and drive
in the park afturward. Oh, and tide
horseback and goto church. I have the
loveliest new prayer book, Harry; ivory
bound wiih silver corners!
Dr. Potter (to himself): How much
interested she is in that insignificant
young fellow. Wonder if she's engaged.
That is just like a fashionable girl, togo
and throw herself away on a hoy with
out any brains.
Ethel (to Harry).: Isn't Marie Basli
kirtseff*charming? She had an awfully
hard time, though. There's something
really pathetic in her struggles to reach
fame. Such undying energy resisting
circumstance.
Low voice from behind: Nothing like
energy! especially when it resists the ir
catioual idea thut music should preclude
conversation.
Ethel (with dignity): Society is so
mixed now. Even at the Berkeley un
desirable people will crowd in. Oh,
Harry, I haven't told you übout my vio
let luncheon! The other girls have had
so many "rose" things that I was tired
to death of American beauties, and the
rest of them, and so I gave myself a
headache studying up something new.
I didn't bother about the menu, but let
mamma arrange all that and just gave
myself up to the violet idea. I massed
violets in a centre baskot,hud wreaths of
violets around each plate, and the cloth
embroidered with violets, all the sweets
were candied violets, the candles were
violet-shaded, and the napkins were filled
with loose violets. The girls were just
enchanted, but I could see they were
jealous, too.
Harry: I don't wonder. Come on,
Ethel. Stupid concert. Aren't you
glad it's over?
Dr. Potter (impatiently to- himself): I
am thankful this thing is through. I
would go aud speak to her if she had
eyes for any one beside that-callow youth.
As it is, I don't choose to be snubbed,
even by a pretty girl.
Ethel (mournfully): He is going out
without even looking this way. I wish *
were intellectual and homely. No, 1
don't, either. Probably he would fancy
a "bud" who knows nothing at all more
than a girl in her second season.
Scene—On the steps of a small tene
ment on the East Side.
Dr. Potter: How did you come here i
Ethel: Why?
Dr. Potter: I beg your pardon, but
it seems an odd place to find a young
lady.
Ethel (flushing): Angelo is my pro
tegc; I have taken him into my mission
class.
Dr. Potter: And so you come and
visit him, I see. He is improving great
ly. I did not know he was receiving
such instruction.
Ethel: I believe you are jealous of
any one but yourself teaching Angelo!
Dr. Potter (carelessly): Not at all.
Fie is merely an interesting study to me.
Ethel: lam interested in Angelo,
not in aceitain type of boy at a certain
stage of development.
Dr. Potter: Perhaps not, but you
are
Ethel (interrupting): lam not.
Dr. Potter: Not whut?
Ethel: Not what you were going to
call me.
Dr. Potter: Are you a sorceress who
divines the thoughts of men?
Ethel: It Only required the divining
powers of a nineteenth century youug
woman to know that you meant some
thing disagreeable.
Dr. Potter: We will waive the ques
tion. Are you going up town? Shall we
t*Ac a car?
Ethel: A Madison avenue cart
Dr. Potter: Yes; it will remind na of
our first meeting with Angelo.
Ethel: Angelo bos a great deal to
answer for.
Dr. Potter: In what way?
Ethnl: I never cared so much (or ap
pearances before I saw Angelo.
Dr. Potter: What enigmas you are
talking. Enlighten my stupidity.
Ethel: What itn unusual admission for
a man. Such humility deserves encour
agement. As for an explanation of ray
mysterious words: to begin with, An
gelo brings our newspapers.
Dr. Potter; He brings mine; but is
that so remarkable?
Ethel: It is remarkable that a little
newsboy should have so excited the in
terest of a physician who, if his practice
is rather small, has certainly enough to
do without teaching every newsboy he
comes across.
Dr. Potter: You don't understand.
Angelo was especially interesting because
—well, because I had just seen some one
I care a great deal for.
Ethel: And you were feeling so benign
toward the world that you were interested
in humanity in general and Angelo in
particular.
Dr. Potter (aside): Angelo in general
and Ethel Van Rensselaer in particular.
(Aloud.) But you promised to explain
your very obscure words.
Ethel: I think better of it, and you
know it is a woman's privilege to change
her mind.
Dr. Potter: I supposed that nowadays
young women did not choose to exercise
their old prerogatives, they have so many
now ones.
Ethel: They have few enough, taking
old and new together. [They have been
walking rapidly meanwhile, very much
absorbed in each other, and are now
nearing Madison avenue.]
Ethel (suddenly): There he is!
[Dr. Potter looks across the street and
discovers Ilarrv Shiptnan sauntering
along.]
Dr. Potter (to himself): That fellow!
and how much pleasure in her tone.
Ethel (impressively): I must speak to
him.
Dr. Potter: I will leave you in his
hands. Good-morning.
Ethel (surprised): Won't you speak to
him, too? Have you quarreled?
Dr. Potter (stiffly): Never having had
the honor of meeting him, I have hardly
had the opportunity of doing so. (Aside.)
I should cordially like to.
Ethel (in blank amazement): What are
you talking about? You are dreadfully
mysterious. (Aside.) He must be so
deeply immersed in his own scientific
thoughts that he hasn't heard a word I've
been saying. (Aloud, sarcastically.)
Evidently Angelo and I are equally un
worthy of your attention. lam sorry
to have forced you to waste so much
valuable time.
Dr. Potter (bewildered): Angelo and
you! Unworthy of my attention!
Ethel (sharply): It would seem so,
since you first decline to speak to him,
and thon show such a desire to leave my
society.
Dr. Potter: Decline to speak to An
gelo!
Ethel: Why do you repeat my words?
But the poor boy didn't experience your
unkindness, and that is fortunate.
[Angelo, who has been hanging around
the corner, now boards a car, waving his
cap to the slowly advancing Miss Van
Rensselaer and Dr. Potter.
Dr. Potter (seeing Angelo for the
first time): Was it Angelo you meant all
this time?
Ethel: Of course I meant Angelo. He
was right on the corner.
Dr. Potter: Then it wasn't that in
significant little wretch!
Ethel: Little wretch?
Dr. Potter: Now you repeat my
words.
Ethel: There goes a car.
Dr. Potter: No; it's a green one.
(After a pause.) Oh, Ethel, I wish you
liked me a little bit.
Ethel: I do; but not so much as
Dr. Potter (angrily): You needn't try
tantalize me. I hate coquettes.
Ethel (demurely): As Angelo, I was
going to say.
Dr. Potter (laughing): Angelo is out
good genius. It was his little venture in
pencils that made our fortune—good for
tune, I mean.
Ethel: I think it was a Madison
avenue car.
Dr. Potter: The two combined—AD
l gelo and the horse car. But, Ethel, you
haven't answeied my question. [Signals
to approaching car.]
Ethel (mischievously, as the car stops,
preparing to get on): I didn't know you
had asked auy. Frank Lcalie'l ll
lut Crated.
"The Nee<llc'§ Eye."
The name "Needle's Eye" is given to
a subterraneous passage on the coast of
Banffshire, 150 yards long from sea to
sea, but through which a man can, with
difficulty, creep. At the north end of
the Needle's Eye there is a cave twenty
feet high, thirty broad and 150 long.
The whole of this passage and cave is
supported by immense columns of rocks,
making a grand scene which has a sur
prising effect on one who has crept
through the narrow passage.— St. IMHU
Ilejrublic.
A syndicate is being formed to con
trol and operate all the big marl beds on
the James and Pamunkey Rivers, Vir
ginia.
Potatoes were not planted in New
England fields until 1718.
Terms—sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
China's one railroad has American en
gines.
Platinum has advanced to about S2O
per ounce.
It is uov proposed to introduce elec
tric power in gold, silver aud copper
mining.
It is said that by a new discovery the
telephone can be made of use in foretoll
ing storms.
A speed of twenty-four miles an hour
is attained on the electrical underground
railway of London, England.
There are about 1600 electric meters
in use in London, England, and one
third of them are of American pattern.
Lake Maggiore, in Switzerland, lias
water of different colors. In its north
ern branch the color is green, and in the
southern a deep blue.
The brownish discoloration of ceilings
where gas is used is caused by dust, car
ried against them by by the heated air
currents produced by the gas.
An English company is working a
silver mine in Bolivia which yields more
than 360 ounces to the ton, while speci
mens of almost pure silver are met with.
An enterprising lowa farmer who
operates a big farm has called in the tele
phone as a means of direct communica
tion with the various departments there
of.
Any kind of cotton covering, when
soaked in a solution of tungstute of soda,
is rendered absolutely incombustible. It
is therefore useful in central station
work.
One of the most lyxasperating accidents
that happen in connection with the
ley system of propelling electric cars, is
the killing of horses by the breaking of
the trolley wire.
The galvanized telephone wires in
London, England, weighing 22-1 pounds
to the mile, have been replaced with sili
con bronze wires weighing thirty-six
pounds to the mile.
On shipboard pumping, ventilating,
lifting or hoisting, may all be performed
by the use of electric motors. On the
latest French warships all big guns are
manipulated electrically. Electric mo
tors are now made which will work with
their armatures in the water.
The first applications of traction-by
electricity having a really practical char
acter were made in Europe at the Berlin
(Germany) Exhibition in Au elec
tric tramway was there exhibited con
structed by the firm of Siemens & Ilalke,
the action of which left nothing to be de
sired.
News comes from New Castle, Penn.,
that Joseph Martin, a glassblower, is en
gaged in a series of experiments to de
relop a formula by which glass may be
hardeued so as to endure great shock.
He has devised a method by which a bit
of glass was treated and made so hard
that a strong blacksmith could not break
it on an auvil.
An electrician who lias made a spe
cialty of spectacular electricity says the
day is not so far off when electrical fire
works will supersede those now used. He
declares that for a comparatively mod
erate outlay he could arrauge an electri
cal display that would last for many
years, and could be repeated as often as
desired. It would comprise rockets,
Eiomau candles, wheels, Niagara Falls
and all the modern pyrotcchnical effects.
How Knights Arc Made.
The ceremony of conferring the order
of knighthood at the hands of the Queen
of England is not imposing. It is not,
in fact, a public ceremonial, and only
those are permitted to witness it who,by
their official connection with the Queen's
household, muy attend her. The loyal
subject upon whom such distinguished
honor may be conferred may not even in
vite his "best man," nor the members of
his personal circle of relatives or friends
to be present.
Arrayed in whatever uniform he may
be entitled to wear, or whatever dress
court etiquitte and the time of day make
proper, if he be a civiliau, the subject
presents himself before his sovereign
and kneels at her royal feet. Seated on
the throne chair, the Queen lays the
shining blade of a sword across the
shoulder of the kneeling but exalted
beneficiary, and says, using the title
which she is about to give, "Arise, Sir
So-and-so."
Plain Mr. Cheltenham Brown is thus,
by a singlo stroke of Her Majesty's
sword, transformed into Sir Knight, and
he is permitted, perchance, to kiss his
sovereign's fingertips in grateful acknowl
edgement of the distinguished honor.
In other cases than this of a plain knight
hood, and when the title carries with a
decoration, the gracious Queen, with
her own royal hands, pins the glittering
and much-coveted bauble upon the coat
of her elevated subject. This is all the
ceremony connected with the conferring
of knighthood, but it is a great deal to
the recipient.— Tid-Bit*.
Work of a Prehistoric Itace.
Near Cleveland, Teuu., the work of a
prehistoric race has been discovered in
the shape of u wall now underground. It
is five feet high aud has been triced 100
yards. The top stones have on their in
side faces inscriptions in hieroglyphic
characters. This rock is of sandstone,
mixed with iron. The mason work is
well done and the wall evidently ante
dates the Mound Builders.— New Tori
Tribune.
NO. 28.
AN OLD SPJNNINO-WHEBU
▲ spinning-wheel of the olden day.
Forgotten now, In the corner stands;
The bunch of flax is a dusty gray.
And for years untouched by liring hand*.
From each long spoke have the spiders spur
A filmy web; but they, too, are old.
And the rust of years hag long begun
On the hub of brass once bright as gold.
It is hard to turn the old wheel now;
It slowly spins with a sorry creak;
It seems like a voice—so faint and low-
So long unused it can hardly speak.
But it has a charming tale to tell,
A tale of love and of sunny June.
And the wheel breaks from its long-time
spell
And turns again with a merry tune.
I cannot remember all it told
One summer eve in the attij gloom.
Of a fair young maid, a suitor bold,
A whispered talk in the spinning-room;
Of a tender love that lasted long.
And a secret that the world soon learned—
All this I heard in the gentle song
The great wheel sang as it slowly turned.
Then the perfume of the lili6s rare,
And the hidden bird's sweet vesper hymn,
Came on the balmy evening air
As the whisper of the wheel grew dim;
And the veil of years that time had wove
Was riven 'asunder to reveal
A passing picture of that old love
That was told me by the spinning-wheel.
—Flaeel S. Mines,in Harper's Bazar.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A self-feeder—Vanity.
A day-laborer—The sun.
Never apart—The whole.
A bear-trap—Rising stocks.
Generally speaking, woman is seldom
silent.
An elevator is a sort of hand-me-dcrivn
affair.— St. Joseph Nexes.
The copyright law means no right to
copy.— Pittsburgh Press.
It always annoys a man to Bnd a new
acquaintance as vain as he is himself.
A good motto for the poaching sealers
would be—Come early and avoid the
"Rush."— Puck.
To a landsman it would seem that a
cutter should be at home in a chopping
sea.— lloston Courier.
"This is a terrible weight of gilt,"
moaned the little picture with the big
frame.— Washington Post.
He was so very ugly,
Extraordinary inau.
That when in battle he faced death.
Death turned away and ran.
—New York Herald.
in old times a strong arm was neces
sary to the dictator; but just" now he
finds short-hand far more important.—
Puck.
Maud—"Has Clara really traveled so
extensively?" Ethel—"No, but she has
read the guide books carefully."—3fun
ity's Weekly.
During the winter the Len may be
dilatory, but she generally comes to the
scratch when the garden is planted.—
Texas Siftings.
To keep a resolution, base it firmly on
good and sufficient grounds, and do not
forget either the preamble or the resolu
tion.— Texas Siftirujs.
"Do you think those shoes are worth
mending?" "Veil, yas, if I zole and
heel tem, and put new uppers on tem.
The strings are still goot."— Life.
Professor of History—"What do you
know about Louis XlV.'s time?" Jack
Ath'.irf^i< —"Nothing, sir; I never knew
he TOC .i sprinter."— Harvard Lampoon.
I'd rather boast no family
And rise to mighty things.
That claim to be descended
From a long line of kings.
—Munsey's Weekly.
An agricultural editor says that the
best article he ever saw on milk was
cream. Some city people think that -it
was not very widely copied.— Lowell
Courier.
He—"How did you know I was at the
door? I didn't pull the bell." She
(admiring the circlet he has just placed
upon her finger)—"l heard the engage
ment ring."— New York Herald.
Mr. Brezey—"Just on your account,
madam, I've been hiding my light under
a bushel for years!" Mrs. Brezey—"O,
dear! Extravagant as ever 1 Why didn't
you buy a pint cup?"— New York Herald.
"Dear Widow Browu, my love is true!"
"Your smoking, sir, against you pleads."
"I'll give up smoking, dear, for you."
"Then I'll give up my weeds."
—Judge.
"But this girl Egbert is engaged to—
isn't she giddy? She seemed to me s
rather thoughtless creature." "Thought
less!" answered Egbert's mother. "She
is absolutely think less."— lndianapolis
Journal.
"Intelligence has just reached me,"
began Mr. Blodger, as he sat down to
the dinner table. "Thank heaven if it
has, at lust," exclaimed Mrs. Blodger,
and the food was partaken of in silence.
—J MW eII Citizen.
"So you waut a railroad position,"
mused the Superintendent. "Do you
think you could give an intelligent
account of an accident?" "Yes, sir, I'm
sure I could." "Theu I think we have
no place for you."— Klmira (f&zette.
In the Restaurant.—"l am sorry, Mr.
Scuoferl, to have to ask you not to come
to this restaurant any more, but you are
so contiuually shaking your head that it
might give rise to misapprehensions as
to the quality of the dishes. I know, of
course, that you are reading the political
news, but the other guests doa't know
it."— Fliegendt BlatUer.