SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
W. M, CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. IX.
England and Prance want to be con
nected by a tunnel, and yet arc afraid ol
of it.
The number of visitors to New York
City every month is said to be greater
than the total number of its fixed resi
dents.
A President's expenses amount in four
years to about $80,003. His income for
the same period being lj!200,000 it is not
difficult to see that he has an excellent
chance to start a bank account.
Among those who can reasonably com
plain of hard times is the Government of
Portugal, which, with a population of
6,000,000, is about $700,000,000 in
debt, with an annual interest charge which
is considerably more than half of the
revenue.
A significant development of the Cen
sus of 1890, notes the Washington Star,
is the fact that the increase of wealth
and manufacturing in the South was
greater than the increase of population.
In the decade from 1880 to 1890 the
Southern States gained in population
19.9; in actual wealth, 62.5, and of
capital invested in manufacture, 20.7
per cent.
The canned fruits and meats exported
by the United States have improved
thirty per cent, in the last two years,and
are again being largely purchased in
countries which had almost outlawed
them, announces the Detroit Free Prenn.
Packers found that adulterating their
goods, in bnste to get rich, simply
killed a market in one season, and only
first-cluss goods are now shipped.
Professor Bickmore, says the New
York Sun, is not alarmed by the five
earthquakes, two of them in this country,
that have been recently reported. Yet
he holds that there is always danger of
these convulsions of nature in the United
States, as well as in South America. He
says that the workings of the forces of
the under world have been extensivo
during this ccntjiry, and that the time of
movement in the rocks of the earth's
crust is by no means at an end. Bnt the
discoveries of the age have not enabled
man to do anything to prevent earth
quakes.
The discovery of tin ore in large quan
tities on the Colorado River, Texas, is
a most important industrial event, avers
the Washington Star. It naturally ex
cites intense interest. Heretofore there
bave been few deposits of tin out of
Cornwall, England, the mines of which,
having been worked, since early Cartha
genian times, are becoming unproductive.
There nro deposits in the Black Hills,
North Dakota. The tremendous devel
opment of the canning industry in the
United States has, however, required tho
use of more tin than was readily sup
plied, and the discovery of large addi
tional deposits will still further stimu
late the business.
George William Warren, tho well
known organist and composer, says that
the writing of church music is largely a
labor of love. He began composing over
forty years ago, and has published -over
one hundred works, but the royalties he
receives from them form a comparatively
email part of his income. Dr. Warren
was born in Albany, N. Y., and his
father tried to make a hardware dealer
of him till the musical instinct in the lad
asserted itself. Besides playing the or
gan in St. Thomas's Church in New
York City, and directing the music of
the parish, Dr. Warren lectures at
Columbia College, and has enough pupils
to keep him busy the rest of the time.
Mrs. Henry M. Stanley, wifo of the
explorer, gave an interview at Minne
apolis, Minn., to a reporter. She said
it was the first interview she has granted
in this country. Asked as to her idea of
the United States, Mrs. Stanley said:
"Oh, it is very great, and I cannot find
words to express my admiration of the
many things I have seen. There are such
magnificent buildings aud luxurious
homes; such straight, broad and well
planned streets—in fact, everything is
on such a huge scale." She thinks New
York City lacking in finish, its streets
beaitly dirty and kept in wretched re
pair ; the Elevated Railroad, although a
capital method of locomotion, very ugly.
The American people she considers ex
tremely hospitable, and the American re
porter came in for his share of atten
tion on account of the numerous inter
views written by him which have nc
basis in fact.
HIS FAVORITE POEM.
£ James Whltcomb Riley, thi Hoosler poet,
•ays the subjoined is his favorite English
poem. He first saw It twenty years ago in a
country newspaper, and has been trying ever
since to learn the name of the author]:
BRAVE LOVE.
He'd nothing bnt bis violin;
I'd nothing but my song—
But we were wed when skies were blue
And rammer days were long;
And when we rested by the hedgo,
The robins came and told
How they had dared to woo and win
When early spring was cold.
We sometimes supped on dewberries,
Or slept amoug the hay—
But oft the farmers' wives at eve
Came out to hear us play
The rare old tunes—the dear old tunes?—
We could not starve for long
While my man had his violin
And I my sweet love-song,
The world has aye gone well with us,
Old Man, since we were one!—
Our homeless wandering down the lanes-
It long ago was done.
But those who wait for gold or gear—
For bouses and for klne,
Till youth's sweet spring grows brown and
serß
And love and beauty time,
Will never know the joys of hearts
That met without a fear
When you had but your violin
And I a song, my dear.
~QUJTS."
When one is fluffy-haired, cheery tem
pered and twenty-three years of age—
and little Lady Loveday was ail three—
one does not regard with unmixed rap
ture the prospect of a whole week with
the British Association for the Advance
ment of Science. But Sir James had
been elected President for the year, and
his wife, as in duty bound, was obliged
to accompany him.
The town of Mudchester, with its for
est of tall chimneys and its perpetual
gloomy pall, may possibly represent the
sinews and strength of England, but it is
not exactly an ideal place in which to
*.pend the early days of September. Else
where there are blue skies, hentlier-clad
moors and grouse on the wing, but Mud
chester, for some inscrutable reason, pre
serves the same gray and depressed ap
pearance year in and year out. Sir James
Loveday, however, full of the temporary
importance which attaches to the emi
nent scientist who is President of the
year, was delighted with the whole
thing, and especially proud of showing
off his pretty, young wife to his scientific
colleagues, whose spouses, though unit
ing in their persons the manifold virtues
of the British matron, could hardly lay
claim to either epithet. He had only
been married a year. They had met on
a homeward-bound Cunarder, and
though this particular ship had beaten
the record, there had been time enough
for Sir James to become enamored of
Miss Lena Gardner, who, finding no one
younger to her taste on board, had smiled
on the elderly scientist until he had of
fered her his name and his fortune. She
was a sensible young woman, with a nice
appreciation of the good things of this
life, and, in six weeks time from their
landing at Liverpool, they were quietly
married in London.
Quite a little murmur of admiration
and a notable craning of masculine necks
greeted Lady Loveday as she made iier
appearance in the Town Hall of Mud
chester on the night of the opening ad
dress. It was her first introduction to
the scientific world, and men of science,
much like other men, are apt to ap
preciate good looks. In her white brocade
mantle, a boa of cstrich feathers encir
cling her threat, and some diamond
arrows thrust through her blonde hair,
she looked a radiant vision of youth and
beauty in the crowd of ill-dressed, gawky
women who made up the feminine por
tion of the audience. Devotion to the
toilette forms no part of the programme
to the ladies who attend meetings of the
British Association, the advancement of
scienco being more important in their
eyes than the plaiting of hair and wear
ing of gold. And so Lena was able to
make her little sensation. She entered
the large hall alone, for Sir James was
already iu his place on the platform, and
was even giving the preliminary cough
which precedes the opening address.
"By Jove!" said a bronzod young man
to himself—a young man who had
strolled in late, and now found him
self in tho very back oi the vast hall—
•'if that isn't Lenal Odd that I should
see her the first week I arrive in England!
What is she doing here? Wonder if she
has forgotten? Well, it's three years
•go."
The opening address was an enor
mous success, 03 it always is. During the
week the popular enthusiasm, cooled by
many scientific lectures, may abate; but
on the opening night no judgo on the
bench is surer of a laugh than the emi
nent scientist who opens the meeting.
The mildest jolcelets are received with
rapture, the feeblest similes get a round
of applause. Lady Loveday was sur
rounded by admiring chemists, biolo
gists and botanists by the time the large
audience was filing out.
"You'll come with our expedition on
Tbonday, Lady Loveday, won't you?"
urged a thin youug professor from a
Scotch University, whose appearance
suggested the suspicion that he
had recently come out of an eye hos
pital.
Lady Loveday smiled, and made up
her mind to the inevitable. After all,
he was only a little worse than the rest.
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20. 1891.
All the young men at the meeting wore
turndown collars, and coats which hod
apparently been made for somebody
else.
"I shall be delighted," she said, in
her most cordial tone. "Where are you
going, and what are you going to do to
improve me?"
"Oh, it's an expedition down a salt
mine. We shall have to take you down
in a bucket. You won't mind, will
you?" urged the weak-eyed young man
eagerly.
"Not at all, if you will insure the
ropo not breaking."
But, all the same, when Thursday
arrived, and Lena found herself alone at
the railway station—for Sir James bad a
committee meeting that morning, and
could only join her later lr. the day—
she lolt somewhat depressed at the
prospect before her. There was a large
and somewhat weird-looking crowd on
the platform. A slight drizzle was fall
ing, and the ladies of the party had
unanimously elected to appear in bag
like waterproof garments, though, to be
sure, their male kind ran them hard in
the matter of curious raiment. Most of
the travelers had invested in paper bags
full of Bath buns, for an expedition
with the British Association is generally
fraught with peril in the matter of sup
plies. The weak-eyed young man was
in a state of excitement bordering on
delirium. Lady Loveday sighed as her
eye ran over the mass of pushing, per
spiring, be-mackintoshed human beings
on the platform.
"There isn't a soul here that I want to
speak to," she thought, settling into the
comfortable cornef*place which the
youthful professor had secured for her;
and then, as her eye caught the square
shouldered back of a check-coated man
in the distance, sho added, mentally:
| "That looks like a nice man. His hair
is cut beautifully short, and he's got a
brown ntck and a properly ironed collar,
lie reminds me of poor Dick."
But, directly after, the train steamed
out of the station and Lady Loveday's
reminiscences came to an end. She hnd
to make conversation with her cicerone
for the day, and a whole carriageful of
other people. By the time they hnd
arrived at the pit's moath and were
waiting their turn togo down, Lena was
not sure that she wauted to engage in
such a perilous experiment.
Only a quarter of the trainful of peo
ple could bo accommodated under tho
shed which covered the shaft, the rest
were waiting outside. Finally, however,
she was jammed with some seven at
eight other people, including her scienti
fic admirer, in the baize-covered bucket,
and was emptied out, after an uncanny
descent through a black void, into tho
brown-walled cavern at the bottom. Tho
mine had been decorated with thousands
of candles in honor of the event, and each
visitor was provided with a tallow dip
ctuck into a wooden handle. Down in
the depths of the mine the Scotch pro
fessor waxed confidential.
"This man is getting a bore," thought
Lady Loveday; "I must really evade him
somehow;" and with another turn
of the r6ck she managed to slip away
from him. Candle in hand, she followed
a group of people in front of her. Prcs
ontly one of the party—the young man
whose back she had seen on the platform
—stopped, and, with an action which
she rcc agnized at OHCC, struck a match,
stooped his head, and lighted a cigarette.
"Why, it is Dick!" she murmured;
and just then he turned and saw her.
"I thought you were in—Afghanistan,"
she went on, hurriedly, as he stood gaz
ing at her.
"So I have been, for the last f\vo
years. That frontier business took
longer than I thought. And you?"
Lady Loveday blushed and looked
down. Here was an adventure after her
own heart. Bhe was a curious mixture
of practical worldliness and theoretical
sentimentality. Bhe had liked him, hand
some, penniless Captain Bramwell, more
than any man she had over known, and
he—well, she was quite aware bo had
worshiped the very ground she trod on.
But all that was three years ago, and in
three years there are many changes.
"I saw you the other night," he con
tinued, presently; "you came in an aw
fully fetching cloak, with a white, fluffy
thing round your neck. I've been trying
to find you out ever 3ince, but nobody
that I asked could tell me anything about
Miss Gardner."
Lady Loveday smiled. He did not
know of her marriage, then? The ca
price took her not to tell him just yet—
she wanted, womanlike, to see if he had
remained faithful all these years.
"Oh, I'm such an insignificant person
in the midst of all these bigwigs."
Dick smiled back at her—he had a
charming smile—and they wandered
along together, each with a tallow dip
flickering and spluttering, and fitfully
lighting their handsomo young faces. She
had not altered one bit, he said; and she
declared he was as brown as a Hindoo,
and would have to be scraped white.
Time flies when old lovers meet, and
nearly an hour had gone before Dick had
told her that he had come down to the
association to read a paper in the geo
graphical section. \Vould she come and
hear it? Of course, of couse, she would!
Poor old Dick 1 Why, he was just as
hard hit, she firmly believed, as over.
When they at length got back to the
bottom of the shaft, there was not a soul
to be seen. The awful truth began to
dawn upon them that they had been left
behind. How easy that might be, with
the five or six hundred people who had
come with the excursion, they both saw
at a glance. What was to be done?
Nothing—absolutely nothing. Lady
Loved ay turned greenish white aa
she leaned against the rock.
"Sir James," she moaned—"Sir
James would never let me die like a dog
in a hole."
"Sir James?" said Dick, surprised.
"You meau the President? Is he a
great friend of yours?"
"He is—O my poor Dick!—he is—my
husband!" she faltered, not daring to
look at him now. Captain Bramwell
gave a little whistle and turned away.
What a farce, and how like Lena the
whole thing was! Lady Loveday did
not see him smile.
"Forgive me I" she murmured, step
ping nearer to him, and, laying a caress
ing hand on his arm. She was very
fond of tho drama, and that was always
what they said in plays, when the old
lover came back from India and found
the heroine faithless.
"My poor child," he answered grave
ly, "I'll forgive you anything—as long
as wo ever get out of this pit."
Lena could hardly conceal her disap
pointment. Was it possible—actually
possible —that he did not care, that he
did not temetnber? It couldn't be he
had loved her too well t He must bo
pretending, just to look as if he were in
different.
They waited a long time, and it was
4 o'clock before the whirr of the bucket
was heard coming to her relief. An ex
planation of Captain Bramwell's equan
imity with regard to her marriage was
afforded Lady Loveday on their arrival
at the top of the shaft. Hurrying toward
the pit's mouth was seen Sir James, ac
companied by a pretty girl in blue, a
girl whose naive delight at seeing
Captain Brrmwell was obvious to all the
bystanders.
"And who—who is the exuberant
young woman in blue?" queried Lena,
with not quite a pretty smile.
"That, dear Lady Loveday," said
Dick, quietly, as he handed his com
panion out onto terra firma, "that—is
my wife!"— London World.
Sponge Out Headache.
The ordinary nervous headache will be
greatly relieved and in many cases en
tircly cured by removing the waist of
one's dress, knotting the hair high up on
the head out of the way and, while lean
ing over a basin, placing a sponge
soaked in water as hot as it can be borne
on the back of the neck.
Repeat this many time?, also
tho spongo behind the ears, and the
strained muscles and nerves that have
caused so much misery will be felt to re
lax and smooth themselves out dclicious
ly, and very frequently the pain prompt
ly vanishes in consequence.
Every woman knows the aching face
and neck generally brought home from a
hard day's shopping or from a long
round of calls and afternoon teas.
She regards with intense dissatisfac
tion the heavy lines drawn around her
eyes and mouth by the long strain on the
facial muscles, and when she must carry
that worn countenance to some dinner
party or evening's amusement, it robs
her of all the pleasure to be had in it.
Cosmetics are not the cure, nor bro
mides nor the many nerve sedatives to
be had at the drug store.
Use the sponge and hot water again,
bathing the face in'water as hot as it can
possibly be borne; apply the spongo over
und over again to the temples, throat
and behind the ears, where most of the
nerves and muscles of tho head center,
and then bathe the face in water running
cold from the faucet. Color and smooth
ness of outline come back to the face, an
astonishing freshness and comfort is the
result, and if a nap of ten minutes can
follow every trace of fatigue will van
ish.
The same remedy is Invaluable for
sunburn, and the worst case of this lat
ter affliction of sensitivo skins will suc
cumb to the hot-water treatment. The
cold douche should not follow in this
case; instead a light application of vas
eline of cold cream, which prevents
peeling of the skin, as the hot water pre
vented inflammation.
Nothing so good for tired eyes has
yet been discovered as bathing them in
hot water, and neuralgia nine cases out
of ten will yield to applications of cloths
wrung out in hot water in which the
hand cannot be borne.— Boston Globe.
A Hunter's Paradise.
A correspondent, writing from tho
State of Washington, says: In this un
known land, bear, elk and the noble
black-tailed deer exist in almost count
less numbers, and in all but perfect fear
lessness of man, and here, from the great
difficulty of access to their domain, the
enterprising sportsman may find them
ages hence. Until the summer just
passed, no hunter's, prospector's or
explorer's rifle had ever awakened the
echoes of thoir hills. The hunter's para
dise is the peninsular lying west of Puget
Sound, and embraces all the territory |
west from the Sound to the Pacific j
Ocean, and the Straits of San Juan de
Fuca south to the northern line of Che
halish County, comprising the entire |
counties of Clallam and JellersDn, and is 1
locally known as the "Olympic Range '
Country." A glance at a map will best
inform the reader of the extent of this
territory, where until last summer the
noblest game on the continent has lived
in undisturbed peace.
Little Jones says that his teachet
in arithmetic ought to be dismissed
from school because she invariably seti
him a horrible example.— Elmira Gazette.
Terms—sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months.
Teeth and Hair Not Indispensable.
With us there is, to say the least, a
strong and decided prejudice in favor of
luxuriant tresses and pearly teeth. But
it is only a prejudice, and by no means
universal. We see no lack of beauty in
the infant's naked, rosy scalp, or in its
sweet little toothless mouth. We even
see a kind of majestic beauty in the ivory
dome that covers the sage's busy brain.
A white, shining billiard ball Is by no
means unpleasing to the eye, and no one
can fancy its beauty improved by cover
ing half of it with a coat of hair, how
ever soft and silky, lustrous, brown or
golden. Birds had teeth once; how
should we welcome a prospect of the re
turn, a retrogression, to their former
semi-reptiliant condition? Would you
think your canary or your brilliant-hued
cockatoo improved in its appearance if
the smooth, even edges of its bill were
garnished with saws of pearly teeth like
a little feathered and winged alligator?
The possession of a full complement of
teeth has always been regarded as an in
dispensable condition of perfect health.
To our prehistoric ancestors, who had no
other grain mills than their molars, it
must have been so, and the modern sol
dier in active service would find his
hard-tack and leathery salt beef rather
unsatisfactory fare without the dental in
tegrity which the examining surgeon so
properly insists upon. But the constant
ly improving science of cookery supplies
the remedy for the civilian, and as to the
soldier, he is, like his teeth, a relic of
undeveloped civilization. The "dogs of
war" must go, teeth and all. Experience
hr.s demonstrated that the luxurious diot
of civilization, which gives so little for
the teeth to do, is, on the whole, more
conducive to vitality and longevity than
the hard fare of savagery. Long before
toothless gums shall have become the
rulo all occasion fcr teeth will havd
passed, eithor for beauty or use.— North
American Rtvieie.
Vegetable Caterpillars.
One of tbe queerest things of Tasmania,
New Zealand, and other parts of Austral
asia is the bulrush or vegetable caterpil
lar. This wonderful plant is a fungus,
a sphaeria, which grows seven or eight
inches above the ground, generally in a
single stem, round and thickly covered
with brown seed for some Ave or six in
ches, ending in a curved worm-like point.
It is usually found growing at the root*
of a particular tree, the "rata" of the
natives. When this plant is pulled up its
single root is found to be the exact
counterpart of a large caterpillar, say
one three or four inches long, which, al
though it preserves every detail of such
grubs, dissection proves it to be solid
wood.
Intelligent persons of the countries
named above say that this curiosity is
formed in the following manner: A
large species of moth feeds on the "rata"
tree j the grub of this moth burrows in
the ground; the seed of the spaeria geta
lodged between the scales on the grub's
neck, strikes root and completely turns
the interior of the creature into a woody
substance. In every case the shell of the
grub is left intnet, no small rootlets punc
turing it at any point. Scientists say that
the above explanation is all "bosh," and
that the plant develops the form of a
caterpillar because it is its nature to do
so. If this be true, why should we laugh
at the stories of the Mandrake Man and
the Scythian Lamb, specimens of which
arc preserved in the Surgeon's Museum,
London?— Chicago Herald.
An Obliging Young' Indian.
Two young women were alone one day
when a young Indian brave whom they
knew came to see the man of 4 the houses,
says a Yankton (N. D.) letter to the
Springfield HepuUiean. The man was
away and the Indian sat down to wait
for him. During this interval the girls,
being of a lively turn, began asking him
questions about his former modo of life;
among other things they asked him to
give a war-whoop and show them how
he scalped people, but be gave no an
swer. Some time after when they were
talking of other subjects, and had for
gotten all about him, he sprang up sud
denly, gave a war-whoop that made the
house-top ring; then snatching his big
knife that lay on the table with one
hand, he took the topknot of one «112 the
girls in the other, and ran the back of
the knife around her scalp. They were
each scalped in ttfs manner and were
nearly frightened out of their wits, but
he sat down and began to laugh and told
them he had only done what they asked
him to do. They soon recovered from
the shock and laughed heartily at the
Indian's joke.
A Remarkable Stone Image.
A remarkable stone image has been
found on the Tuscarora Indian Reserva
tion. It was unearthed by General Car
rington while taking a census and inves
tigating the tribe's condition for the
Government, and will be placed in the
Smithsonian Institution at Washington.
There is evidence that the mound from
which it was taken is several hundred
years old. The image itself is eight
inches high by four inches wide. The
principal figure staids with upturned
face, which is chiseled with far more
skill than the red meu generally possess.
At one side, as if enfolded by the left
anu of a parent, is a small figure, quite
indistinct. Underneath is some animal
having unmistakably the tail of a sheep.
The whole at once suggests the story of
Abraham's preparations to offer up his
only son Isaac in accordance with th«
command or his God.— Boston Trait
script. .
NO. 19.
INDIRECTION.
Whir ore the flowers and the children, tat
their subtle suggestion is fairer;
Rare is theroseburst of dawn, but the secret
that clasps it is rarer:
Sweet the exultance of song, but the strain
that precedes it is sweeter;
And never was poem yet writ bat the mean
ing outmastered the metre.
Never a daisy that grows but a mystery
guideth the growing;
Never a river that flows but a majesty scep
tres the flowing.
Never a Bhakspeare that soared but a
stronger than be did enfold him;
Nor ever a prophet foretells but a mightier
seer b*th foretold him.
Back of the canvas that throbs the painter
is hinted and hidden;
Into the statue that breathes the soul of the
sculptor is bidden;
Under the joy that is felt lie the infinite is
sues of feeling; .
Crowning the glory revealed is the glory
that crowns the revealing.
Great are the symbols of being, but that
which Is symboled is greater;
Vast the create and beheld, but vaster the
inward creator;
Back of the sound broods the silence; back
of the gift stands the giving;
Back of the hand that receives thrill the
sensitive nerves of receiving.
Space is as nothing to spirit; the deed Is out
done by the doing;
The heart of the wooer is warm, but warmer
the heart of the wooing;
And up from the pita whore these shiver,
and up from the heights whero those
shine,
Twin voices and shadows swim starward,
and the essence of life is divine.
—Richard Realf.
HUMOR OP THE DAY.
Set a hen on a china egg and she is
better off.
Promissory notes are frequently classed
as papcr-wails.
A good thin« to have around the
house—A fence.
"Emmeline, can you keep a secret?"
he whispered hoarsely. "I don't know.
I never tried to. What is it?"— Phil
adelphia Times.
A young man who married a "butter
fly of fashion" was unable, a year later,
to provide "grub" for his butterfly.—
Norristoron Herald.
Papa— "Come here, Toddlekins.
Whom does papa love better than any
one else in tho world?" Toddlekins—
"Papa."—New York Sun.
Mabel (confidentially)—"l was awfully
stuck on you once, Jack." Jack (grati
fied) —"When was that?" Mabel—"Be
fore I knew you."— Epoch.
A chieflet by the brooklet,
With his gunlet loaded full,
Let go a leaden bullet
And killed old Sitting Bull.
Washington Star.
A- bridegroom six feet seven inches
tall has just taken to himself a bride who
measures three feet one inch. Love me
little, love me long was the burden of
their song.— Chicago Mail.
"Yes, I once failed for a hundred
thousand," remarked the red-headed man
who hadn't treated yet. "You see, the
girl was worth that in her own right and
refused me."— Philadelphia Times.
Photographer—"Your son,the student,
ordered this likeness from me." "It is
certainly very much like him. Has ho
paid for it?" "Notyet." "Thatisstill
more like him."— Flieqende Blaetter.
"Grindstone, have you ever tried a
raw onion as a remedy for sleeplessness?"
"Tried it once, Kiljordan." "How did
it work?" "Had togo to sleep to get
rid of the taste.'"— New York World.
Fred—"l didn't mind Taylor's dis
charging me so much as I did the insult
he subseqeuntly offered me." Frank—
"What was that?" Fred—"He adver
tised for a boy to fill my place."— Yan
kee Blade.
Mrs. Gottleft—"Do you know what
everyone says? They all say you mar
ried me only for my money." Mr. Gott
left—"l don't see how it ever got out.
lam sure I never told anyone."—ln
dianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Yerger—"What is the matter?
You seem to be very much annoyed."
Mrs. Peterby—"l have good reason to
be annoyed. That addle-pated goose,
Mrs. Jones, treats me as if I were not
her equal."— Texan tiiftin.ys.
A few little sprinkles
Of delicate wrinkles
And eyeglasses just a bit stronger
A sigh misanthropic,
When age is the topic—
Maud isn't a bud any longer.
Washington Post.
Butcher, who has been rejoiced by tho
birth of a son, is informed that the child
weighs nearly eight pounds. He takes
him in his arms to feel his weight and
calls out astonished: '-By Jove, so he
does!" then after a moment's pause adds:
"But with the bones, mind you."—
Fliegfnde BlattUr.
With trembling voice, though ardent look.
He faintly asked her "could sho oookf'
She owned she could, and, bolder grown,
He asked her it she'd be his own.
"Indeed?" said she, with her nose a-curl;
"I supposed you were wanting a hired girl."
—fnilianapolta Journal.
A farm journal said: "There is going
to bo more money in poultry than here
tofore." The next clay a farmer's wife
found a nickel in a chicken's crop, and
told her husband that it was the first
time she ever saw auything lettable in
an agricultural paper published in a big
citv.— Norristficn Uerald,