SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
W. M, CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. IX.
Kansas has more mile3 of railroad tlian
all the New England States put together.
Brazil is larger than the United States,
but in the whole twenty States, which make
up the Republic, there are not as many
people as we have in New York and
Pennsylvania.
The value of a large coal traffic to a
railroad is indicated, thinks the Mail and
Mxpre&s, by the fact that the coal tonnage
of the Northern Pacific is greater than
its tonnage of wheat.
The wholesale price of whalebone is
now SIO,OOO a ton. A project is on foot
to organize whaling expeditions from
Australia to the Antartic seas, where it is
believed plenty of whales arc to be found.
It is an almost untouched whaling
ground.
"Sundown Doctors" is the appellation
said to be applied in the city of Wash
ington to a class of practitioners who are
clerks in the Government offices, and
who have taken a medical degree with a
view to practicing after the hours of
their official work are over.
While an Austrian regiment was on
dress parade recently, says the Detroit
Free Press, a bug crawled into the ear of
n sergeant. He put up his right hand
to remove the insect and a court-martial
reduced him to the ranks, fined him §lB
and obliged him to carry a weight of
sixty pounds on his back for fourteen
days. It is the big bugs who have the
call over there.
The Boston Cultivator admit 9 that
"improved farm implements have un
doubtedly enabled farmers to cultivate
and harvest larger areas; but it is not
certain that crops by them cost less per
bushel than they used to do. The more
a man can do the bigger wages he claims,
and this, with cost of machinery, its
wear and tear, and the lower prices con
sequent on increased production, have
given to the worker rather than to the
capitalist or owner of laud the advan
tages which improved machinery have
conferred."
The Germau Emperor will shortly is
sue an edict to the Prussian ministry di
recting that teachers in national schools
must be familiar with the principles of
political economy, to enable them to
demonstrate the errors of socialistic
teachings. In religion less attention
must be paid to momonic exercises and
more to the comprehension of the ethical
side of religion. In the higher schools
recent modern history, especially of
Prussia, must be taught, and the bene
fits which Prussian Kings have always
conferred upon workingmeu must be in
culcated. It is stated that the edict was
drafted before Prince Bismarck re
signed.
The degree to which America offers
prominent advantages to the emigraut is
just now shown strikingly, notes the
Comvurcinl by the existing
conditions in Iceland. It is said that
that country is gradually becoming de
populated, owing to the constant emigra
tion of its people to the shores of Canada
and'the United States. These emigrants
send back such favorable accounts of
their new home that others quickly fol
low. It is estimated that 20,000 natives,
nearly one-quarter of the whole popula
tion, have left the country in the last
vcar. The emigrants are said to be chief
ly from the northern and eastern dis
tricts, where laboj is carried on only
under great difficulties, besides which
recent harvests have been very bad and
have entailed much suffering.
Chief Van Demau, of the Pomological
Division of the Department of Agricul
ture, predicts that the cultivation of
nuts is soon to be one of the greatest and
most profitable industries of the United
States. The pecau, he says, is the nut
of the future, but he also forecasts big
returns for walnuts, chestnuts, pine and
hazel nuts, almonds, filberts and other
varieties. One man in Florida has now
a grove of 4000 pecan trees six years old.
When tliey begin to bear their product
will be worth $300,000 yearly at whole
sale—a figure which certainly makes to
baccco-raising and orange-growing seem
far less tempting than they are held up
to be. What about the peanut? Well,
despite its name, it isn't a nut at all; it
is a sp.-cies of pea—an atinual that has
to be planted every spring. Thus, la
ments the New York Telegram, departs
another cherished tradition, but tht
humble roasted goober will not, ou tlmi
account, lose its ll:iv<*r
WHEHE I .IBS THE LAND?
Where lies the land? I asked, in sorrow
drowned—
Tell me, I pray, where the enchanted ground
That knows not weary heart, nor aching
head,
Nor wild regret, nor sore and anxious dread,
And I will seak it to earth's utmost bound.
Here my voice faltered—dropped to faintest
sound;
A whisper startled me, and. looking round,
I heard an echo mocking me, which said,
Where lies the land?
My eyes then caught a little grass-green
mound,
With pure white roses and with lilies
crowned,
That sweot fragrance all around them
shed,
And as I looked upon thatqpiet bed,
Full answer to my question I had found.
Where lies the land?
—Charles D. Bell, in Lippincott.
THE DOWNWARD STEP.
BY ANSA SUKILDS.
Some four miles from the centre of
the busy manufacturing town of B
there is a row of small cottages, very
simple in construction, and having little
attraction, excepting the low rent de
manded for them. They are far from
town, and there is no public conveyance
to shorten the distance, so that only those
who are compelled by poverty to choose
a cheap residence reside there.
But each house has a little gardeu at
tached to it, with hedges between, and
some of these wen domains were bright
with llowers. One day, two childreu sat
under one of the hedges, busy in build
ing a house of chips. Close enough to
touch them, but separated by the hedge,
a man crouclied, listening to the baby
prattle as eagerly as if it held important
information.
"If we touch any of old Bates's posies
he'll eat us. Hannah say so!" said the
younger of the children, a bright boy,
three years old.
The other a grave-looking little
maiden of live, answered, seriously:
"Men don't eat boys andgirls. Mamma
says we must say 'Mr. Bates,' not 'old
Bates.' And she says perhaps he's not
cross but sick or sorry. He looks
cross!"
"Mamma says not to touch his posies,
'cause it's stealing!"
"We've got some!" said the little
girl; "but mamma's so busy, she can't
have posies."
And, indeed, there was a strong con
trast between the few poor plants in
Mrs. Grey's garden and those that met
the eye in the next one. The old mau
who lived there alone, ragged and for
lorn, seemed to have but one pleasure,
and that was working in the tiny gar
den, making every foot of it beautiful
with choicest flowers. That he always
listened intently to every voice from his
neighbor's cottage, drawing as close as
the hedge permitted to the open win
dows, none knew but himself.
He had been three months in the poor
house, and listened eagerly to any scrap
of gossip about Mrs. Grey. He heard the
servants pitying her "come down" when
her husband's failure in business was
followed by his death. He had heard
Hannah, the one servant telling another
from across the street of the luxury her
mistress had enjoyed only one year bo
fore, and bewailing tlje poverty that
made her walk to day after day,
to give music lessons to support her chil
dren. Ever shrinking from notice, Mr.
Bates was as watchful of his neighbor as
a detective. He was a tall man, bent
over as if crippled by age or pain, and
his face, deeply lined and very stern, was
shaded by gray hair, soft and abundant.
Green spectacles concealed a pair of
large, dark eyes that softened strangely
as he listened to the children.
Many times he had seemed about to
speak to them, starting forward, but al
ways drawing back with a muttered
"better not! better not 1"
But on this day he went from bush to
bush of his rarest flowers, until he had
his hands filled, when he tossed the whole
fragrant mass over the hedge into the
laps of the astonished children. When
they looked up, a face over the hedge
amazed them still more, for the old man
was smiling.
This was the beginnig of their friend
ship, and every day saw it grow stronger.
Evening found Mrs. Gray at home,and at
bedtime there was always some new story
of baby prattle, telling how Mr. Bates
had let the children wander about in his
house and garden, in perfect freedom.
But he avoided her, giving her no oppor
tunity to thank him. She would have
been glad, out of her own scanty means,
to offer some neighborly help to his
greater poverty, but there was something
repellant in his face and voice that held
her back. She wondered even trait the
children were not afraid of him.
It was in September that for the first
time she, too, crossed the boundary of
his garden, timidly, for she was a shy,
gentle little woman. Only twenty-five
years old, she looked, in spite of her
heavy mourning and pale, sorrowful face,
even younger. Widowed and an orphan,
her life was centered in her children, and
she could not be ungrateful for kindrcss
shown to them. So when they told her
their eccentric friend had "hurted his
foot dreflul bad," she conquered her shy
timidity, and went to offer assistance.
"It was nothing," he told her, gruffly,
as she entered the bare, mean sitting
room, where he lay upon a sofa, but ho
let hci bring hi LU soiw dinuut USD U*A
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, JANUARY 2, 1891.
J upon him, owning that the pain of a
bad sprain had prevented his cooking for
himsrff. The children trotted to and
fro, delighted to wait upon him, but he
was not very gracious, and said but little
until Mrs. Grey said:
"Cyril, dear, get mamma another
slice of bread."
"What did you call the boy?" he
asked, sharply.
"Cyril. Oh. you have only heard his
pet name 'Birdie.' Birdie, come here
aud tell Mr. Bates your name."
"Cyril Preston Grey," said the child.
"Cyril Prc3ton!" said Mr. Bates,
harshly. "I knew a man of that name
once."
Every shadow of color left the widow's
face, and she looked for a moment as if
she would faint. Then, conquering this
weakness by a violent effort, she said:
"You knew him?"
"I know no good of him," was the
qnick reply. "He was a thief!"
She tried to speak, but her white lips
made no sound.
"The man I mean," continued Mr.
Bates, "was a defaulter from tho B
Bank. He had been cashier there, and
he stole money."
The blood rushed back to the widow's
face, and her voice trembled with anger,
as she said*
"Since you know that, you should also
know that Cyril Preston repaid every
dollar, principal aud interest, to the
bank, five years ago."
"You knew him, too?"
"He was my dear brother."
"Dear? You surely do not hold a
brother dear who disgraced you!"
"Cyril," the mother said, "whnt do
you pray for every night?"
The child repeated a baby prayer, and
added: "God bless dear mamma and
Nannie, and bless dear Uncle Cyril, and
bring him home to mamma!"
There was a moment of silence, and
then Mrs. Gray sent the children away.
When she was alone with her neighbor,
she said •
"You say you knew my brother. Can
you tell me anything of him? Oh, if you
could know how I long to hear!"
"Is it not better to know nothing of a
man who was only a curse to those who
loved him?"
"You are a harsh judge. If he sinned,
he atoned. He has repaid everything."
"Killed his parents?"
"Not so. If they sorrowed for his
sin, they rejoiced in his repentance. His
name was never harshly mentioned iu
his home, and earnest prayers were daily
offered for him. Where is he? Tell me
all you know of him."
And then, with a sudden movement,
Mrs. Grey bent her head and broke into
a passion of tears, sobbing:
"My brother! My brother!"
She had wept violently, but when her
sobs grew more quiet, a gentle hand was
put upon her bowed head, and a low,
tender voice said:
"Anna!"
She looked up. A gray wig lay 011
the floor, and on that a pair of green
spectacles, but the face bending over her
was that of a man of thirty-five or six,
with brown hair and soft, dark eyes. It
was ten long years since she had seen
that face, and sorrow had made it far
older than the years would have done,
but she knew it at once.
"Cyril! Cyril!" she cried, kneeling
beside him, with her arms around his
neck. "Oh, my dear, dear brother!"
"You are glad!" he said in a low
voice of amazement. "Glad to see
me!"
"Glad, for I love yon! Who was al
ways the kindest brother to his little
sister? Cyril, could you think ever I did
not love you?"
44 A thief! A forger!" he said, bitter
ly. "I have no excuse for my sin, Anna,
save that mean one only too often plead
ed, that I meant to replace the money.
It was lost in gambling! My feet were
on the highway to ruin, when I saw that
discovery of my theft was inevitable, and
I fled. But my punishment began at
at once, and never was remorse more
gnawing, penitence more sincere."
4 'You were never out of our prayers,
Cyril."
"Darling, that was as the bitterness
of death, that certainty that I had
brought disgrace upon my home—made
my father's name a reproach."
"But you did all you could to atone."
44 You can never know, dear, through
what privation and toil I earned the
money to pay the bank. I wont hungry,
half clothed and half frozen, working
early and late, saving every dollar. But
when the debt was paid, fortune smiled
on me. My employers were kind men,
and they gave me an opening in their
factory. Do you remember, Anna, how
I was laughed at because I thought I
could invent? I think, even now, if father
had let me have my dearest wish and
study machinery, I migh» never have
fallen. But I hated the bank, and any
temptation is doubled to escape from
drudgery. My love of machinery was
| laughed out of ine at home, but it be
i came my friend when I needed one. In
! the short intervals of leisure I had at the
factory I peifected a patent that my cm
! ployers adopted and helped me to intro
! duce into other factories. It has made
■me a rich man, Anna. But I craved a
sight of my old home, and the dear faces
| there, and so I carae to B . My
parents were dead, and you a widow and
| poor. Dear, do you guess how I have
| longed to help you since I cnuie to he
! your neighbor, aud yet feared you would
j curse ine if I spoke?"
| 4, Hußh!"slie said, softly, "I am al-
I 'if/-' awry you w* .ufili, Cyril. 1 was
thinking of the Joy it would bo to me to
work for you."
"You will go with me, Anna, to my
own home. I cannot stay here. Every
face in B—would seem to reproach me.
But I have a home where you and your
children can be happy, and where you
can fold your hands in idleness, if that
will please you. It is a lonely, desolate
home now, Anna, but you will brighten
it for me!"
"Glidly."
He held her in a close embrace for a
few minutes; then lie said whispering:
"Anna, tell me where Lena is?"
She shivered a moment, and her voice
was full of sorrow, as she said:
4 'Lena is in Boston."
"Married?"'
"Yes."
"She did not forgive me?"
"No; she was very bitter."
"I deserved it. I had no right to risk
her happiness as well as my own name.
How could I ask her to marry me after I
became a shame to all who loved me? Y*et
I loved her, Anna."
"I know, dear; but Lena was proud."
"She was right to forget me. I sinned
and was justly punished. But, oh! if I
could make all young men, all boys real
ize the importance of that first step in
dishonesty, I would gladly give my life.
Only a five-dollar bill, Anna, at first, but
the temptation was repeated,the strength
to resist grew weaker, until the end. Can
you—dare you trust me, dear, with those
young lives so dear to you?"
"Yes; more willingly than I would to
one who did not know the bitterness of
sin and penitence."
So two cottages were vacated, and in
her brother's beautiful home Anna Grey
tries to make the life of a repentant sin
ner one of peace and usefulness. Cyril
Preston, humble and penitent, thanks
God daily for the love that could not
die, even when bitter shame came to
crush it. lie is a prosperous, envied
man, but ever in his heart is the sorrow
and shame that will follow sin, no mat
ter how deep the repentance. And ever
his prayer is that Cyril, his nephew, may
learn from him to avoid that first down
ward step that leads to sin.— The Ledger,
Alaska's Agricultural Possibilities.
Alaska is almost the last place in the
world where one would think of prosecu
ting agriculture, though popular knowl
edge of the subject may be said to be
limited to generalities. The Seattle
(Washington) TeUjraph the other day
reported Governor Ivnapp, who is down
from his northern proviuco for a few
weeks, as follows:
"Agriculture in Alaska is as yet only
a matter of theory. Very little has been
done in the way of agricultural pursuits.
Special farming, like cultivatio of roots,
berries, and the keeping of airies for
local demaud has proven very advantage
ous. The climate is too cold and wet
for the cultivation of grains. Further
more, clearing it is to difficult for rapid
development of the country, and even if
our experiments should prove successful
we should have no markets for our pro
duce. The potatoes, cauliflowers, onions
and turnips raised in Alaska are the linest
I have seen anywhere. We had some
cauliflowers that we intended to send t«
the Spokane Falls exposition, but our
poor transportation facilities prohibited
us from doing so.
"Alaska abounds in berries. Along
the Chilcat River, the Yakuat River,
Prince William's Sound and on Corak
Island fine and good strawberries are
raised in abundance. Our cranberries
are smaller than those raised in the States
but excel them in flavor. We have a
kind of berry called the salmon berry,
which is similiar to your raspberry but
larger. Our blackberries are not by any
means like the eastern blaekeerries. They
are similiar to the blueberries, but a little
more tart and probably are a variety of
the blackberries.
Timothy grows fine. The great draw
back is the weather, which does not
allow us to cure the grass. Cattle live
out-doorg without bciug fed except dur
ing winter, when it is extraordinarily
cold. The snowfall is light and the
winters are not very severe. In Sitka
the thermometer has been down to zero
only once iu forty-six years. Last year
it reached four degrees above .zero in one
night.
"The product of roots and vegetables
does not as yet supply the local market.
The interior of Alaska has, in my opinion,
great possibilities as regards agriculture.
The climate is not as wet as it is along
the coast, but private enterprise cannot
afford to experiment with it. The Gov
ernment should take some steps to solve
the question."
An Oil Projectile.
Among the latest inventions patented
in England is a projectile, containing a
reservoir of oil, to be shot nhead of a
ship for the purpose of calming the an
gry waves. Of course everybody is
aware that the phrase "pouring oil upon
the troubled waters" is nowadays ac
cepted in its literal, not merely in a
figurative, sense. The new projectile is
of the shape of au ordinary cartridge
and may be discharged by means of au
explosive, compressed gas, or a spring.
On touching the water the oil cylinder
is released and the contents spread over
an area commensurate with the calibre of
the cartridge. The invention is mani
festly a valuable one, inasmuch as it will
subdue the waves in front of a vessel
rather than immediately around her or
j in her wake, aud the expenditure of oil
; will thus be economized.— JScts York
! Tr.Ugvam.
Terms—Sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months.
How Tin Soldiers Are Made.
M. Leon Duplessis, the Vice-Consul of
France at Nuremberg, has contributed
to the Bulletin Contulaire a very interest
ing description of the manufacture of the
toy soldiers iu lead for which the arti
sans of Nuremberg and Purth have long
been famous. The first thing is to make
sketches of the intended figures. Great
pains are bestowed on them. The best
artists do not hesitate when asked to sup
ply models for these toy soldiers, and in
making their sketches they have to bear
in mind certain fixed rules, while when
they make colored sketches they have to
avoid deep tints and select gaudy colors,
which children so much prefer. They
must also possess a full knowledge of
the military costumes of the period to
which the soldier they represent be
longed.
At Nuremberg and at Fruth slate
molds are used for the plain figures,
while brass molds are employed for those
in relief. The slate for the former \s
bought at Sonneberg, iu Thuringia, and
the tin, which is purchased in England,
is melted aud poured into them through
a small orifice. The metal soon, hardens'
when it has been poured in, and the
workman then removes the figures, cut- (
ting off any excresenceq which may Ifave
been caused by thgjnoltcn mc.tal running
over into the inteP|ttces. The soldiers
then have to be painlm. and this, is al
ways done by ho" work at
home, each woman being given a certain
number of figures at* the beginning of
the week. The system generally adopted
is to place a dozen figures or so upon a
piece of wood slit up the centre, to
hold them iu a fixed position. When
one side of the figure is dry iwig it
round and paints the other. Iler wa'ges
are very poor. The final process, also
intrusted to women, in that of packing
the soldiers, which are placed in boxes
of 30, 60, 120, or 240 pieces (weighing
one-eighth, one-quarter, one-half, or one
pound) for the infantry, and of 12, 24,
48, or 96 pieces (of the same weights)
for the cavalry.
New York'* - .ians.
Recent o-curren In New Orleans
have drawn public .«ttcntion to the ex
traordinary growth of our Italian popu
lation, savs a New York letter in the
Pittsburg Ditpatch. There are 50,000
Italians in this city alone, and they are
coming in at the rate of about 2000
per week. Most of these come from
lower Italy and sail thence from Naples,
though they aie not Neapolitans by any
means. The abolition of the padrone
system in New York has rather encour
aged Italian emigration than decreased it.
The padrone system, while it seemed to
offer an easier way for poor Italians to
come to America, kept them in slavery
while they were here for such a leDgth of
time that it served as a warning to those
of their native land to remain where they,
were. The laws of the United Statt/.
which have operated beueticially »or
American labor, have also operated in
favor of Italian emigration. It would
really seem as though the de
scendants of Christopho Columbo had
made up their minds to claim this coun
try. So far as the Italian population of
New York is concerned, they form a very
industrious feature of the community
without being degraded to the extent of
the Chinese. They are also economical
livers, and quite as desirable as American
citizens. They have monopolized here
the larger portion of all the smaller
trades, and especially that which relates
to street traffic of all kinds. As most of
the Italian emigrants stop here in New
York, it will soon form a difficult prob
lem to grapple with.
Folding-Guns Instead of Stilettoes.
The Italian assassin of New Orleans
has long siuce abandoned the stiletto.
Occasionally the banana knife, a more
effective weapon, is used, but the blun
derbuss or sawed-off gun is the favorite.
It is objectional in this, that it makes a
noise that alarms the police, but it has
the merit that it never fails.. The assas
sins take an old double-barrelled guc and
file off the barrels, leaving them about
fifteen inches in length. The stock is
also removed and fitted to it with a
hinge. The weapon, therefore, is like a
clasp-knife, three feet or more in length,
but when closed only fifteen inches. The
Italian using it can easily conceal the gun
in his coat or pants, effectually hiding it.
When it is ready for use, he opens it and
he has a double-barrelled musket, which
will shoot further and better than a re
volver. This is loaded to the muzzle
with rough slugs, which scatter in firing,
and which tear the victim badly. Near
ly all of the men killed by the Stopag
herra have been found with from six to
ten fatal wounds.— Philadelphia Presi.
Where Most Violins Are Made.
There is really but on<» place in the
world where violins are made extensive
ly. That place is Markneukirchen,with
its surrounding villages. There are al
together about 15,000 people living
there who do nothing else but make vio
lins. The inhabitants, from the little
urchin to the old gray-headed man, the
small girl and the old grandmother, all
are engaged in making some part of a
fiddle.
Time: The year 1930.—The Tourist—
"What is this spleudid old ruin over
grown with wild vines, untenanted aud
neglected!" The Guide—"That, sir, is
the remnant of a once famous university
whereiu, in the latter part of the last
century, athlcfics were opposed by the
faculty."— Week's Sport.
NO. 12.
SUMACH.
Coarse-grained and harsh the slender stalks
Of wayside sumach stand;
And each lithe branch upliftad seems '
As some cup-bearer, tanned.
Who holds to autumn's lips divine
A goblet of sun-tinted wine
With mute, adoring hand.
And deeply to the very lees 't
The russet goddess drains
These jewel cups that erst were filled
From summer's glowing veins-
Red draughts that hold the subtle sense
Of pungent sylvan frankincense
And misty later rains.
Then, like some alchemy of old.
The magic ichor flies
From pulse to heart, and rising lends
New glory to her eyes,
Where shadowy lire an instant leaps
As lightning from a cloud that sleep 3
Fast moored in stormy skies.
And blithely as she passes on
autumn's chariot-wheels.
As gliding through her being swift
■ Tift sumach's life she feels;
Whi<4 ever all the landscape brown
A flood of sunlight rush es down
And baffled winter kneels.
—Ernest McGaffey.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Playing the gentleman—The bunco
stcerer.
Pry books cannot be expected to
satisfy a ' irst for knowledge.— Puck.
"No; hakespeare never repeats."
"Yes; I't noticed it in his autograph."
—Puck. »
Washington's most famous ride was
when he took a hack at the tree.— JF««A
ington Star.
Flute—"l wish I could get out on a
toot." guitar—"Well, go, there are no
_ s # on you."— Puck.
The moon shines down for two short weeks.
And then a rest a while it seeks,
While on the clouds the fairies sit,
And try to shine it up a bit.
—Judge.
There's a time for everything. Taking
off your boots after you get in bed indi
cates a high old time.— Buvjh.am.ton
Leader.
A woman may not be able to find her
pocket, but she never has it filled with
letters she has forgotten to mail.— Elmira
Gazette.
"This is the worst snap I ever struck,"
remarked the wooucLuck when he got
caught in a steel trap. — Binghamton Re
publican.
This world is like a fruit-basket. The
big and attractive get on top, while the
little ones are crushed out of sight in tho
bottom.— Puck.
A worm has been discovered which
.«eds on steel. There seems to be such a
thing as hard eating as well as hard
drinking.— Pack.
You must call me early, mother,
For I'm learning politics;
Learning how to prove another
Man's half dozen isn't six.
—Pittsburg Bulletin.
Maddox—"l suppose you call that
politician 'Razor' because he ;"sso sharp?"
Gazzarn—"No; because he aas a pull."
—New Fork Sun.
The reason why women do not pro
pose is supposed to be due to the fact
that they want to have the last word.—
Boston Transcript.
"Do you distrust fat men, Captain?"
"Well, no," returned the old sea dog;
"not exactly, but I always give them a
wide berth."— Harper's Bazar.
'?his world is like a crowded 'bus,
A few good men, perhaps,
Mav find a soat, but most of us
Must hang on by the straps.
—Chicago Journal.
When a man goes upstairs late at night
and skips every other step inan eudeavor
to keep quiet he always seems to skip
the steps that don't creak.— Elmira
Gazette.
Budgkins (about to get his life insured)
—"Now, what kind of policy would you
advise?" Blinkins—"Well, I've always
heard honesty very highly recommended."
—Boston Post.
Father—"Why don't you work?" Son
—"Why, I am as busy as a bee." Father
—"You do nothing but eat." Son—
"Well, that is all the bees arc doing just
now."— New York Herald.
A man with a feverish love of gold
Will find no sure cure nor reliever,
Because in all life's list of ills,
One of the worst is yellow fever.
Philadelphia Times.
The Edge Was Taken Off.—Maid (to
ue esthetic mistress) —"What, madam, is
broke in French?" Madam—"Casse."
Maid—"Oh, yes! Well, I think your
royal Worcester centerpiece is casse."—
American, Stationer.
Doctor—"l have the pleasure of in
forming you, Mr. Captious, that you are
the father of triplets." Mr. C.—"Ex
cuse me, Doctor, l>ut as there have been
so many discrepancies in the census
lately, won't you oblige tne with a re
count."—Mercury.
"Grindstone, were yoi. ever a candi
date for office?" asked his friend. "Yes,
I went through a campaign once as a
candidate," replied Grindstone, as a look
of pain flitted across his face, "but I
lived it down, Kiljordau—l lived it
down."— Chicago Tribune.
"Talk about extravagance!" exclaimed
a Marseilles man, to whom some one
was recounting the luxury of the Parisian
youth, "why, I know two young men
who actually keep a couple of African
servants merely to briug up black edged
letters."— London Globe,