W. M. CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. VIII.
Nebraska farmers are insisting thai
railroad property in that State ba assessed
for taxation at its actual value.
Stanley says that if he could get 500G
two-gallon jugs into the heatt of Africa
they would buy him 10,000,000 acres oi
land and 500 wives.
i The Argonaut thinks it causa for won
der that "New York State alone is in the
enjoyment of ten litigations over wills
made by rich men, the suit in each case
being brought by the children against
their stepmothers."
According to Harper's Bazar, Miss
Mattie Mitchell, daughter of Senatot
Mitchell, has the reputation in Paris ol
being the most beautiful American
woman who has ever been seen in that
beauty-loving and beauty-drawing city.
Berlin is the poorest capital in Europe.
The richest man there has an income of
only $025,000 a year, yet passes for a
Croesus. Only three other persons in
Berlin have incomes exceeding $250,000.
Nine receive annually above $150,000,
and 102 above $30,000. There are only
926 persons whose incomes amount to
SIO,OOO.
The experience of the Omnibus Cable
Company, of Philadelphia, should dem
onstrate to all street car companies, re
marks the Aryonaut, the advisability and
necessity of roof seats on cars. The
Broad street line there has its roof full
nearly all the time; the seating capacity
is almost doubled; the same weight
in rolling stock avails for almost double
the patronage; and the better view at
tainable on the roof attracts many women
as well as men.
"Uncle Sam has a liberal appreciation
of printers' ink," says the New York
Commercial Advertiser , "and is not dis
couraged even by the necessity of print
ing cords of speeches that nobody will
ever read, and which Congress itself is
justifiably unwilling to listen to. Tho
Government Printing, Office iu Washing
ton now employs 60 J compositors and
ninety pressmen, making it the largest
printing office in the world. The annual
amount of work done is about $3,000,000.
The Public Printer has lately applied foi
land enough to give the establishment a
whole block."
Says a writer in Chatter: "The othei
day, as a royal train of Pennsylvania
parlor cars pulled out of the Jersey City
(N. J.) Depot, a gentlemanly man carry
ing a huge bunch of flowers made his
way from the rear of the train to the
foremost car, the smoker. Pressing al
most upon his heels was a rather rough
looking fellow making the same journey.
It happened that as I raised my eyes I saw
behind that bunch of flowers a pair of
shining steel handcuffs connecting tht
gentlemanly man's wrists. It would be
interesting to know whether it was the
convict's idea or that of his keeper to
put flowers to that strange use. But to
my mind there was something very poetic
about it.
Kainy seasons often tempt one to envy
the climatic privileges of countries where
rain-showers are limited to the winter
season of exceptionally humid years, re
marks Dr. Felix L. Oswald, in tho New
York Voice. Nor would it be impossible
to reconcile those privileges with the ad
vantages of vegetable productiveness.
The hydraulic rock-blasts of California
quartz miners fling a heavy jet of water
to a distance of 800 yards—or nearly halt
an English mile; and it is by no means
inconceivable that with a modification of
that apparatus a large plantation could be
sprinkled from end to end in a few min
utes with water drawn from an artesian
well or a perennial desert-river, like the
Nile or the Rio Grande.
The latest fad among the school chil
dren of New York city is to ask people
they meet for a bow of the head. Aftet
school hours hundreds of youngsters,
both boys and girls, can be seen passing
along the streets on their way home with
paper and pencil in hand. They accost
every one they meet and 6ay "Please give
me a bow." If the question is not un
derstood they sometimes say "Bob your
head" ov "Duck your nut." When the
bow is given, as it generally is, wonder
ingly, the youngster marks one stroke on
♦he paper. When 100 marks, represent
ing 100 bows, are obtained the children
bury the paper when no one is looking
and at the same time make a wish. At
the end of four days the paper is un
•arthed, and then, they say, the "with
Cta&vs comes true."
SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
JLIFE.
Oh Life! That are thou?
Thou comest like the morning light,
Thou fadest like the flower at night.
Thy days by Heaven's light made bright,
Or others dimmed by darkening clouds,
Or troubled ill that on us crowds.
Or darkened mystery that enshrouds
Life.
Oh Life! what art thou?
A troubled sea of ceaseless storm,
By passions ranked in every form,
With days to cry, with days to mourn.
Or else the thoughts to pleasures bend.
Through paths of joy our way we wend,
It matters not, the same's the end
Of Life.
Oh Life I what art thou?
A bitter vale of gnashing tears.
With days of hopes, of joys, of fears;
With daysof youth, then failing years,
An empty struggle after fame,
A ceaseless striving for a name,
Days of glory, days of shame
In Life.
Oh Life! what art thou?
A passing shadow, a fleeting dream.
One glance behind that mystic screen.
Of Heaven's mystery one faint gleam—
Thy race is run; then comes a fall.
Then comes the awful funeral pall.
The tolling bell, the grave, that's all
Of Life.
—Marcus Brandt.
ADAM HOLCOMB'S WILL.
BY HORATIO ALGER, JR.
Adam Holcomb was dead at last—dead
after seventy years of money-getting, and
the grave had closed over him. He had
no children, for he had led a single life,
induced, so it was said, though nothing
was certainly known, by an early disap
pointment which had warped his nature,
and made him lead a solitary life, given
up to Mammon alone.
Adam Holcomb was dead, and as yet
no «ne knew what disposition he had
made of his money.
Three (lays after the funeral, the next
of kin and possible heirs were collected
in the office of the lawyer, who was the
custodian of the will and privaie papers
of the deceased. They were few in num
ber, for the family was not a large one.
There were but three, and these three
may be briefly described.
First came James Holcomb, a nephew
of the deceased, a man of portly form,
and an air of importance. He was a
prosperous city merchant, already in
possession of abundant means, but he
had uo objection to having them in
creased by a legacy from his uncle's
hoarded wealth. He was a vain, selfish,
worldly man, all his thoughts centred
upon himself and his own family, who
had never been known to give a cent for
any charitable purpose.
Next came Harvey Holcomb, a cousin
of the last named, and about the same
age. He was tall, thin and angular.
He belonged to the legal profession, in
which he had managed to pick up con
siderable money, though his reputntion
was none of the best. He was consid
ered tricky, willing to undertake any
cause, however disreputable, for money.
He was married and had a family, for
whom he provided in a grudging manner.
He, too, had nourished sanguine hopes
of finding himself much better off after
his uncle's death.
Last came a young man, presenting a
strong contrast to the other two. He
was of light complexion, brown hair,
clear blue eyes and an attractive face.
He was barely twenty-tive years of age,
very plainly dressed and with a modest
mien, which prepossessed one in his
favor. He was the son of old Adam
Holcomb's youngest sister, who had mar
ried a poor minister, and her son, Alfred
Graves, was studying medicine, for which
he had a decided predilection. But he
had been cramped by narrow means, and
was even now teaching a country school,
hoping to obtain enough by this means
to pay for his next course of lectures.
He had applied to each of his two rela
tives present for a small temporary loan,
to help him complete his studies, but
without effect. He had been courtly
refused by both.
He had come hither to-day, as a mat
ter of form, without the slightest ex
pectation of benefiting by the will of his
late relative. He had known but slightly,
and never received any encouragement
upon which he could build a hope. Yet
if he could but receive a legacy of even
S3OO, he thought, it would help him
materially. That was the amount which
he had vainly sought to borrow of the
merchant and lawyer, now present with
him at th« reading of Adam Holcomb's
last will and testament.
The merchant and lawyer conversed
while waiting for Squire Brief.
"Have you any idea, cousin, how
much the old gentleman had accumu
lated?" asked James Holcmob.
"I have heard it estimated at a quarter
of a million,"was the reply.
"Quarter of a million!" repeated
James, slowly. "That is a large sum.
I hope he has not been unjust enough to
squander any of it on charitable socie
ties."
"I hope not. That would be a great
piece of injustice to his relations," said
ths lawyer.
'•He never dropped anything to you
about the disposition he intended to
make of his property, did he?"
"Not he. He was a close man, v-e-r-y,"
said the other. "I once tried to worm
somethiug out of him, but didn't get
much satisfaction."
"What did he say?"
"He Mid ho thought of endowing an
LAPOKTE, PA., FKIDAY, JULY 18, 1890.
•sylum for fools and lunatics, and that X
could tell whether I was likely to be
benefited by his so doing."
"Ho, ho!" laughed James, shaking
his capacious sides, "he got you there,
eh?"
"I don't see it," said the lawyer sourly.
"You don't appreciate the joke, hey?"
"It was a foolish piece of impertinence.
However, everybody knows what the old
man was, and 1 let it pass. If it had
been any one else, I would have given
them as good as they sent."
"But you were afraid it would spoil
your chances, eh?"
"As to that, I have no idea. There is
no question that we ought Xr> be joint
heirs."
"True," said James. "That would
give us an eighth of a million apiece.
That would satisfy me."
"How about Alfred's chances?" quer
ied the lawyer, glancing sharply toward
that part of the office where the young
man was quietly seated.
"Oh, he'll get nothing,"said the mer
chant contemptuously. "lie belongs to
a beggarly stock, and a beggar he'll re
main to the end of his days. Going to
be a doctor, I hear."
"Well, I wish him joy of his profes
sion, if he ever gets into it, which is
somewhat doubtful. He wanted to bor
row three hundred dollars of me the
other day."
"And of me. Did you let him have
it?"
"Not I. I've enough to do with my
money without giving it away. Of
course he'd never have repaid it."
"No, I suppose not. The coolness of
some people is refreshing."
"Well, I take it for granted old Adam
was too shrewd to lavish any of his
money on such a fellow."
•'Trust him for that."
The young man was engaged in read
ing a volume he had taken up, and did
not hear this conversation. It was in
terrupted by the entrance of Squire
Brief. Both the merchant and the law
yer greeted him with deference and cor
diality, as a mat) whose words might
bring them prosperity or disappointment.
Alfred Graves rose in a quiet and gentle
manly manner and bowed with the
courtesy which was habitual to him.
"Gentlemen," Squire Brief said, "I
hold in my hand the will of your late
relative. 1 will at once proceed to read
it."
Of course his words commanded in
stant attention. All bent forward to
listen.
After the usual formula, came the fol
low item "I give and bequeathe to my
nephew, James Holcomb, the sum of five
thousand dollars, to be held in trust for
his children.
"To my nepliew, Henry Holcomb, I
likewise give the sum of five thousand
dollars, to be held in trust for his chil
dreu, to whose sole use the income shall
annually be applied.
"To my only remaining nephew, Al
fred Graves, I give the sum of two thou
sand dollars, to be appropriated to his
own use, as he may see fit.
''l set aside the sum of two hundred
thousand dollars to establish a public
library in my native city, one-quarter to
be appropriated to the erection of a suita
ble building, and the remainder to con
stitute a fund of which the income only
shall be employed for the purchase of
books. This library shall be named from
me the Ilolcomb Library."
Here the notary made a pause. The
merchant and lawyer sat with looks of
blank disappointment and anger, which
they made no attempt to conceal.
"He had no right to defraud his rela
tives in this way," muttered James.
"It is a miserable imposition," echoed
Henry Holcomb, to put us off -with a
niggardly live thousand dollars."
"For my part, I am satisfied," said the
young man."l have received more than
I expected."
"O, yes, it will be a great thing for a
beggar like you," said James sarcasti
cally.
"I am no beggar," said the young man
proudly.
"Gentlemen," said the notary, "I
have not finished reading the will."
"My faithful old dog, Scipio, who is
now somewhat infirm, I trust one*of my
nephews will be willing to take home,
and treat indulgently for the sake of the
master to whom he was attached."
"That's cool," ejaculated James. "As
for mc, I don't choose to be bothered
with the dog."
"But," said the notary, "since your
uncle has given you a legacy, are you not
willing to incur this slight care and ex
pense?"
"I must absolutely refuse. Mrs. Hol
comb does not like dogs, nor I. More
over, uiy uncle has treated me too scur
vily for me to inconvenience myself
much on his account."
"Then will you take him?" asked the
notary turning to the lawyer.
"Not I," said he, shrugging his shoul
ders—"the dog may starve for aught I
care."
"And you, sir?" turning to Alfred
Graves.
"I will assume the charge of Scipio,"
said Alfred Graves. "It is a slight ac
knowledgment for my uncle's legacy."
"You may find him troublesome."
"That will make no difference. While
he lives, he shall be comfortably cared
for."
"What a model nephew!" said the
merchant, sarcastically.
"Good young man!" said the lawyer
with a sneer.
"Gentlemen," said the notary, "I will
now read the codicil."
The two elder men looked at each
other in surprise, which changed into
dismay and rage as they listened.
"To that one of my nephews who shall
agree to take charge of my dog, being
yet unacquainted with this provision of
my will, I bequeathe the residue of my
property, amounting, as near as I can
estimate, to one hundred thousand dol
lars."
"You knew of this!" exclaimed the
cider men, turning wrathful faces toward
Alfred Graves.
"Not a word," said the young man.
"I am as much astonished as you can
be."
"No one knew of it except myself,"
said the notary. "I congratulate you,
Mr. Graves, on your large accession of
wealth."
"I receive it gratefully. I trust I aliall
make a good use of it," said the young
man."l hope now to repay my parents
for the sacrifices they have made in my
behalf."
"If I had but known," thought the
merchant with bitter regret, ■'! have
thrown away a fortune."
"And I," chimed in the lawyer rue
fully.
But there was no help for it. The
deed was done. The two disappointed
men left the house, feeling anything but
grateful to tin; uncle who they persuaded
themselves had cruelly wronged them.
But there was a modest little home that
was made glad by the news of Alfred's
goon fortune. And in his hands the
money has brought a blessing with it,
for it has been made a fountain of good
deeds and charitable influences.— Yankee
Blade.
History of Sleeping Cars.
The first sleeping-car was invented by
Theodore T. Woodruff, who got up his
model in the office of James Tillinghast,
at Rome, N. Y., in 1854, the latter at
that time being in the service of the
Rome and Watertown Railroad. Mr
Woodruff endeavored to interest Mr.
Tillinghast sufficiently in his invention
to advauce the cost of securing a patent
from the Government, but he did not
have sufficient faith in its possibilities
and declined. The model which he con
structed in Mr. Tillinghast's office was
carried to Springfield, Mass., in an old
fashioned bandanna handkerchief and
submitted to Mr. Watson, the car builder,
who, notwithstanding an almost univer
sal expression of disapproval by his em
ployes, built a trial car, whieh made its
first trip on the New York Central and
Rome and Western Railroads, and later
was taken to Cleveland, Cincinnati and
other Western cities. This car afterward
became the property of the Ohio and
Mississippi Railroad Company on whose
line it was regularly run. Woodruff sold
the right to build and use his sleeper on
the New York Central railroad to Mr.
Webster Wagner, and on the Buffalo and
Erie road to Mr. George Gates. The
"Gates" sleepers ran from 1859 to 1873,
when they also passed into Wagner's
hands. Pullman sleepers were intro
duced in 1864 or 1865. he having made
a number of important improvements on
the productions of his predecessors. It
was abcut 1862 that Wagner and Gates
built their first car, having the same
general features as those now used.—
Railway Age.
Origin of "Mascot."
The word "mascot" was introduced
into literature by means of the comic
opera "La Mascotte," written by Audran;
but it seems to have been a term in com
mon use long previously among game
sters and sporting characters generally
in France. It was used to signify some
object, animate or inanimate, which,
like the luck-penny, brought good for
tune to its possessor. The word is
further traced back to the patois of
Provence and Gascony, where a mascot
is something which brings luck to a
household. There is but little doubt
that it is etymologically derived from
the word masque—masked or concealed
—which in provincial French is applied
—as ne coiffe is in more polished French
—to a child born with a caul. The
caul is a thin membrane which some
times covers the head of an infant at
birth, and has from the earliest times
been regarded with superstitious feel
ings. The child born with it was es
teemed highly fortunate, and was be
lieved to be destined, not only to be
lucky himself but to be the source of
luck in others; and the caul itself was
esteemed a charm of great virtue, and
high prices were often paid for its pos
session.
Thunderstorm Honrs.
The remarkable fact, that thunder and
lightning seldom occur over the ocean
except at night is shown by the recently
issued meteorological report of the Chal
lenger expedition. During the voyage
twenty-six thunderstorms over the open
sea were encountered, of which twenty
two occurred during the ten hours from
10 p. M. to BA. M., and only four during
the ether fourteen hours of the day. O!
the 209 reported cases of lightning with
out thunder, 188 occurred during the ten
hours from 6 p. M. to 4 A. M. The fol
lowing are the hours of the maxima of
these phenomena in the summer months
over land and the open sea respectively:
Thunderstorms over land, 2 to 6 p. m. ;
lightning over land, Bp. M. to midnight;
lightning over the open sea, 8 p. M. to
4A. M. ; and thunderstorms over the
open sea, 10 p. M. to BA. M.
A lecturer upon physical culture has
recently decided that "there is no rule
for the size of a perfect foot."— Ex.
"What is the matter with a twelve inch
rule?V — Botton Commercial jUvlktin, 1
Terms—sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months,
HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS.
HOW TO KEEP OIL-CLOTH.
Oil-cloth is generally considered expen
sive for a kitchen floor, though many
continue to use it. If so, they can make
it last much longer by careful washing.
Soap, a harsh brush or a mop should
never be applied to an oil-cloth. If it
should happen to get very dirty use a
soft brush and scrub the way of the lines.
But to keep oil-cloth clean ordinarily,the
rule is to wipe it first with a damp cloth
and then with a soft, dry one. A very
nice way to clean it occasionally is to
wash the oil-cloth by first rubbing it over
with a cloth wet in equal parts of milk
and water; then to take auother cloth,
wet in warm water, and go over it again,
and then finally with a soft, dry cloth.
But the cleanest, brightest-looking oil
cloth I have ever seen was simply rubbed
over when needed with a greased rag.
This made it look well, kept it from
cracking, preserved the paint, and it
lasted for years. The rag may be dipped
in a little kerosene, if one does not object
to the odor, which will pass off, how
ever, in an hour or two. — New York
Newt.
PICKLES.
When making pickles u<ie none but the
best of vinegar. A passably good vine
gar iR made from sorghum, and there is
another kind made from sweetened water
in which corn ha? been boiied—either
kind being better than the acid vinegar
for sale at the grocery stores. Be par
ticularly careful not to buy the sharp,
colorless liquid usually sold for vinegar;
for it is really weak sulphuric acid, and
highly injurious. I have become quite
skeptical about all vinegar offered by
grocers, and would advise housekeepers,
whenever it is possible to make their own,
or purchase of some frientl who can make
more than she needs for her own use.
Boil pickles in earthenware whenever
it is possible. Granite ware is next best
tor the purpose, and next to that new
tin. As soon as the pickles arc dons
they should be removed from the dish in
which they were c< oked, unless earthen
ware was used. They should be kept in
glass or hard stoneware, and examined
every month or six weeks. If they do
Beem to be keeping well, drain off the
water, scald it, add a cupful of sugar for
each gallon, and pour it boiling hot over
the pickles. Repeat this operation three
mornings in success, then tie them up
closely again. If pickle is well made,
however, it should be better at the end
of a year than at the end of three
months.— Yankee Blade.
TO COVEH AN TMBBELLA.
There is a method in the madness of
umbrella maker's charges for covering an
old umbrella frame. The maker may
discourse wisely on the value of a well
and perfectly made frame, which may be
"covered again and again," but when
that frame is offered for covering it is
soon found that it costs as much as the
umbrella did originally, and the worn-out
economist soon finds she must buy a new
one, and throw aside for "sake of the
trade" the cherished frame and hand
some stick. It is so easy a matter to
cover an umbrella that many ladies now
do it with perfect ease. Measure the size
of the umbrella to find the width of silk
required, a twenty-six umbrella requiring
goods that width, a twenty-four inch
goods twenty-four inches, and so on.
Measure the circumference of the parasol
and allow a few inches over half the
length of material the circumference
measures. Now remove the cover care
fully. It is well at first to take off only
one gore. Use this for a pattern, and
cut the required number of gores from it.
Hem them and sew them in a bag seam
with a machine with a very elastic chain
stitch. A machine which makes a firm
stitch, however suitable for other work,
is not as good for this purpose. Any
chain-stitch machine will do. The cover
must be fastened on the wrong side at
the top; then drawn down and sewn in
place. Examine an old parasol or um
brella to see how to do this, and you may
enjoy a new umbrella at a small cost.
Cut across the goods, using the selvidges
alternately,— New York Tribune.
RECIPES.
Traveling Lunch—Chop together sar
dines, ham and a few pickles; mix with
mustard, pepper, catsup, salt and vinegar;
spread bet weed buttered bread. This is
to be cut crosswise, like jelly cake.
Tomato Salad—Take nearly ripe to
matoes, slice in a dish and set on ice to
get bard and firm, then just before using
chop a large union fine, and sprinkle
over them, and add salt, vinegar and
pepper to taste.
Vegetable Soup-Stock—Clean and cut
up three or four pounds of carrots, celery,
turnips, onions, lettuce, parsnips, and
herbs; put them altogether in a stewpan,
with some fresh butter and a little water,
and stew until water is evaporated and
the butter begins to hiss; then fill up with
fresh water, add nutmeg, pepper, salt,
and a few green peas; simmer for three
hours; strain and keep in a stone crock
in a cool place until wanted.
Baked Chicken—Cut a chicken up in
pieces; dip them in beaten egg and bread
crumbs, well seasoned with pepper, salt,
and chopped parsley; pour a little water
in a dripping pan, putin the chicken,
putting little bits of butter over it; bake
slowly, basting often. When tender,
take the chicken out, and make a gravy
by adding flour, butter, pepper and salt
to the drippings, with enough of either
cream or milk to make sufficient gravy;
jour over chicken and serve.
NO. 40.
THE READY-MADE MAN.
Some sages of Hindustan,
Of eruditical lore, _ i
Determined to make a ready-made man,
■Which had never boendone before}
All you know.
Was some time ago.
In the pre-historical yore.
So they mixed their chemicals up
In a mighty porcelain bowl,
And they stirred them up as you'd stir o,y a
cup
Of coffee or tea, on my soul.
Made a hole in the batter,
And set on a platter.
With carbon and salt in the hole.
These sages of Hindustan
Then poured the chemicals in.
Their phosphoric acid they poured from a
pan,
And their soda and gelatine;
With butyric acid.
To make the flesh flaccid
And water and creatine.
And they made the form of n man,
Organically sound and complete,
And they found, these sages of Hindustan,
No flaw from his head to his feet;
And one of their fellows i
Blew air from a bellows.
And the man leaped up from his seat.
They'd made the ready-made man.
But he was crazy and wild,
He howled like a beast in a caravan,
And then he cried like a child;
They put magnesia on
His left brain ganglion
To make him reconciled.
And this—it made him hum—
'Twas withering flame to fuel,
And they took chloride of potassium
And mixed it in his gruel;
Then he acted like a fool
Who had never been to school—
His idiot groans were cruel.
Then carbon from the pan,
They placed beneath his crown; ,
Then he fought like John L. Sullivan, <>
And knocked the sages down.
Then the sages of Hindustan
They killed the ready-made man.
Who had done them up so brown.
Vly moral all may scan,
It's just designed to show
That the making of a perfect man
Is a process rather slow;
The perfect fellow
Needs time to mellow,'
And plenty of time to grow.
—S. IK. Foss , in Yankee Blade.
HUMOR OF THE DAY."
Squadron of evolution—Darwinites.
A chest-protector—The baggage-mas
ter's check.— Lampoon.
The difference between a liar and a
hypocrite is that the liar is not always in
curable.—New York Nctcs.
Talking of a national air, the strongest
this country is able to furnish seems to be
the cyclone.— Philadelphia. Times.
"We are now convinced that the only
reliable ground hog is the common do
mestic pork sausage.— New York Herald.
Stone walls do not a prison make
Nor iron bars a cage;
The walls are brick, the bars are steel,
In the progressive age.
Washington Star.
Cadley—"What is it your little boy
calls you?" Marlow—"Pretty papa."
Cadley—"lsn't he rather young for sar
casm?"— Harper's Bazar.
Young Man—"How much money have
you saved in your bank?" Smart Youth
—"lf you give me a quarter, I will have
just a dollar."— Once-a- Week.
When lovely Tomen stoop to folly,
And trieß to make her daily bread.
What power c in soothe her melancholy
When her husband calls it chunks ol lead?
—Texas Siftings.
An old sailor at the navy yard to
marked that there is one advantage in
Arctic exploration. In the face of the
gravest perils one can always keep cool.
—Boston. Herald.
There is no particular difference be
tween the shop girl and the saleslady;
but the differences between them and the
floor-walker are often something awful to
behold.— Puck.
"I believe," cried the baseball batter,
"I've a right to fame and pelf,"
So. gritting his teeth with firm intent,
He struck out for himself.
—Philadelphia Times.
Peddler—"Can I sell you some patent
cement, sir?" Mr. Seedic—"Cement?
What do I want with cement?" Peddler
—"Well, you look as if you was broke."
—Boston Courier.
A popular soprano is said to have a
voice of fine timber, a willowy figure,
cherry lips, chestnut hair and hazel eyes.
She must have been raised in tho lumber
region.— Norristoien Herald.
That quadruped that Mary owned
Had a naughty style of buttln';
The youthful sheep lammed Mary so.
She sold the thing for mutton.
—Plunder.
Farmer's Wife—"lf you will help beat
this carpet, I will give you something to
eat." Dirty Davidson, the Tramp
(haughtily)—" Ma'am! I'm a gentleman I
I never beat my way."— Toledo Blade.
"How's your family?" "Pretty well,
thank you." "Any of your daughters
married yet?" "No, and I can't under
stand why they don't go off; they use
powder enough, goodness knows."—
Boston Courier.
One day, when Senator Evarts was
Secretary of State, he was entering the
levator at the department togo to his
office, and looking around on the crowd
of passengers, remarked: "This is the
largest collection for foreign missions
that I ever saw taken up."— Argonaut. ...