In His I 'honogjraph Closet. A reporter ca lied a Tew days ago upon a well-known businessman, and, upon inquiring whero the l.ittor was, was an swered •'You'll flndlhim in his phonograph closet." "I beg four -pardon," the reporter ventured. •'ln his phc'oographicloset. Step right in. He's not I nisy." The invitation* acted upon, the business man was found in a little inclosure with ju *»t sufficient roomi to hold a table and a chair. Tho occu pant was gravely gi mding away at fl crnnk, and turned' a.xound in his chair as the door opened. •'•Oh, how do you do?" he said. "Ypu fiptf mo busy with my phonograph. N»i, A'tn not talking. I'm simply grinding a down smooth so that it wilf rot'oivo better. Then I'm going to talk some statistics into it and hand it over to my type writer, who is busy now. SL.e will be able to take tho statisticsyany time she gets a chance. There*'i no particular hurry about it, and so I .am using up some of my own sparo time. ' 'Do I find my phonograph to bo »o j practical use? Oh, ycsl That is, itlis most of the time, but somiitimos it gets out of order, and then itvis the most vexatious thing man ever invented. Lots of my friends havo had .the ma chines putin their ofFi'ces lafiely, and uow there is in most big oflicesatot only a telephone closet, but a phono graph closet."— N. Y. I'imes. "Rabbits 19 Insects. •* "Miss, you can't bring dogs linto this car," said a Third avenue conductor to a young woman who tenderly, held a wriggling little object wrapped -up in a shawl. '"Tain't a dog," snapped tho young woman, and tho discomfited conductor retreated to the rear platform answl a general titter. He studied the cos©, for a few minutes, and then, returning to the young woman, said: "Miss, yow can't bring cats in, neither." •''Tain't a cat," said tho young woman, "it's a rabbit;" and the long cars emerged in confirmation of ,her as sertion. At this the conductor Rooked puzzled for a moment, and then eaid: "Well, that's accordin' to tho rules,, of this company; dog 3 is dogs and cats 'is dogs; but rabbits is insects; so you can stay. — N. Y. World. LUMINOUS paint absorbs light during tho dav and gives it forth at night. 111l I ONB ENJOYS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and acta gently jet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys tem effectually, disr els colds, head aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is tho only remedy of its kind ever pro duced, pleasing to the taste and ac ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities com mend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 500 and $1 bottles by all leading drug gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAN FRANCISCO. CAL iOUISmie KY HEW YORK, N.Y. DAD WAY'S II K>n RELIEF. THE GREAT CONQUEROR OF PAIN, Tor Sprnias, Ilruises, Backache, Pain ID the Chest or Side*. Headache* Toothache, nr any other external pain, a few applica tion!* riibhed on by hand, act like magic, causing the pain to instantly Mop. For Contention*. Colds, Bronchitis Pneu monia. Inflammations, It lieu mat lain, Neu ralgia, Lumbauo. Sciatica, more thorough • n«f repeated application* are necessary. All Internal Pains, l>iarrlircad J want to bake, put into a bowl or dish, when cool enough add two-spoonful* ol the above yeast, and keep warm all the afternoon; after supper stir np a crock of sponge with either milk or water, but do not scald the flour, add the potato yeast, which will bo one mass Qf foam. In tho morning mi] your bread stiff, and knead welL i am sure the Indies who try this yeasi and this plan of starting bread will like it. SERVING POTATOES. A simple, delicious method observing potatoes is hnshod and browned. Choj eight potatoes, season with salt and pepper, and add'to thorn throe teaspoon fuls of butter. Mix the butter well througih, and pour the potatoes in 1 smooth frying pan, and let thom cook over tho fire for six or seven minutes, with the lid on. By this time thej should bo well browned on the bottom. Fold them over in an omelette form, and dish them on a hot platter, and serve as an accompaniment to a dish ol breaded chops or meat fried in batter. Lyonaise potatoes are excellent for 1 changa. Cut up eight potatoes in small cubes, or chop them coarsely with a knife. Season them with pepper nnd salt. Mince a small onion fine, and fry it till it is a fine straw color in a table spoonful of butter; add the potatoes. Toss thom till they are light brown, 01 touched with brown—it will take three or four minutos—and then serve them at once in a hot dish. Lyonaiso potatoes are excellent served with broiled steak or with broiled calfs livor. There aro many other ways of preparing potatooi besides stewing them or frying them in a pan, though both these methods are good if not resorted to exclusively. Thick slices of cold potatoes dipped in melted butter and broiled aro excellent. A dish of escalloped potatoes offeri still another method of preparing cold potatoes. Select eight cold potatoes, slice them in thin slices, season then and pour over thom a cream sauco, made with a tablespoonful of butter meltod in a saucepan, and a tablespoon ful of flour stirred in, and a pint ol milk. Put the potatoes and cream sauce in an earthen baking dish sprinkle fine breadcrumbs over the top ot° the dish, and bits of butter, and bake it for twenty minutes in a hot oven.— New York Tribune. HOUSEHOLD HINTS. Boiling water should not bo poured over tea tray, japanned goods, etc., at it will make tho varnish crack and peel off. To prevent cake adhering to the pan when baked, scatter a little flour ovei the greased surface beforo pouring in the dough. It is said that if the hands art rubbed on a stick of celery after peeling onions the disagreeable smell will l>« entirely removed. Strong muriatic acid applied with a cloth and the spot washed thoroughly with water is recommended to remove ink stains from boards. Eat cold food slowly, is a warning from the wise, and eat sparingly of it, too. If you do eat cold food don't wash it down with ice water. When making cake the butter should be creamed with the hand, but in th« summer a wooden spoon may be used for this purpose, says Miss Maynard. Lemon juice is a good thing for re moving tan. It is also excellent for taking stains from the hand*, and if applied to the hands at night will koop them soft and white. It is a very common thing for young housekeepers to scorch their linen when learning to iron. Do not bo dis couraged. Wax your irons thoroughly and keep them in a dry place. This will prevent their sticking. If you , find a scorched placo, expose it to the > hottest rays of the sun. It will be obliterated in a short time. Chances of Death In War. ' No doubt every reader has seen the statement that it. takes a man's weight of lead to kill him in battle, and they may have considered it to bo merely a rhetor ical hyperbole, suggested by the fact that comparatively few out of the whole numher of shots Hred in heat of battle take'effect. Marshal Saxe, wo believe, firßtJiuade the assertion which forms the base of the above, when he said it would 'twko J25 pounds of lead and thirty-three 1 pounds of powder to put each of the ene my in the long trench. Wild and vis ionary as this may seem, it appears that there was more truth than poetry in tho remark. With all the improvements which have been made in the art of war since the days of Saxc, Cassendi, the French savant, proves that the great Marshal's philosophical remark still ho&k good. At the battle of Solferino, according to Cassendi's carefully deduced calcula tions, a eompurision of the number of shots fired on the Austrian side with the number of killed and wounded on the part of the enemy, shows that 700 bul lets were expended for each man wounded, and 4200 for each man killed. The average weight of the ball used was 30 grains, therefore it must linve taken at least 126 kilograms, or 227 pounds of lead for each man killed. Yet Solferino was a most important and bloody battle. In the Franco-Prussian war the slaughter caused by the needle gun among the French soldiers shows how much superior that gun is to the Austrian carbine; yet, with that deadly weapon 12,300 shots were fired for every soldier destroyed in the enemy's ranks. Verily there was a good foun dation for Uogert's ungrammatieal re mark: "War is awful, but the noise of war is awfuller."— St. IA>UU Republic. An Old Watch. I saw the other day a gold watch which was made in 1760. It was an odd looking watch compared with those of the present day. It was made by the famous watchmaker, Breguet, of Paris. He has been dead for more than one hundred years. It was worn by the grandfather of the present owner, who fought under Napoleon and carried this watch through the scige of Moscow and the terrible retreat that followed. It is an open face watch, with keyhole in the face. Its mechanism is exceedingly del icate and complicated. It must have been a very valuable timepiece in its day, as I do not remember having seen many which repeat the hour, three-quar ters hour, half hour, quarter hour and even minute. We do not fully appre ciate this feature at the present day, but 130 years ago, it must be remembered, matches were not in free use—in fact, I believe it was before the time matches were known. It must have received some rough usage, passing through the Napoleonic wars anil other strange vicis situdes before it reached America. To pass through all these adventures and not become utterly useless must redound to the great fame Breguet enjoyed in his time in Paris. In the last six months, however, it has shown a feebleness and unreliability which it was natural to ex iled years ago. The watch since then has made the rounds of nearly every jewelry shop in Chicago.— Chicago Her ald. The Emperor's Decoration. A romantic storv attaches to the new j decoration announced by the Emperor of Japau in commemoration of Emperor Jiinmu's coronation, 2550 years ago. The distinguishing feature of the decoration is a golden llsh hawk. The legend is that during Jiinmu's conquest of eastern j Japan the sky one day became suddenly I dark, and a fish hawk of golden hue settled on the Emperor's crossbow. The . bird threw otT a brilliant light, by which | the enemy wore dazzled and the Emperor's j forces were victorious. A Pennsylvania Epitaph. For the grave of Mrs. Ann D. Carter, in a churchyard at Thornbury, Delaware County, her husband has had made in Media, says the Philadelphia Ledger, a tombstone from which this inscription is quoted: : Some have children and some have uone; ; ; Here lies the mother of twenty-one. After 22 Years, (<*} v cured a man of chron ic pains from snu which was completely cured as follows: Paragon, Ind., July uO,IBBB. I suffered with pains in my head from sun ftroke 22 years. They were cured by St. Jacobs Oil and havo remained BO four years. SAMUEL B. SHIPLOR. AT DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS. THE CHARLES *. VOOELER CO.. Baltimore. Mrt. La Grippe has Left the System badly debilitated in millions of cases. Take Ayer's Sarsaparilla and restore Tone and Strength. It never fails. Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass. MURRAY ESJJND HARNESS^V^rSf?! I 111 Vlll in I » 0([ „ lct „ 0E> „ I(M „ «"»»'■ WILBER H. MURRAY MANUFACTURING CO.. Ci-ri-»«i nj Pace of the Camel. As a matter of fact, and in spite of its having carried Mohammed in four leaps from Jerusalem to Mecca, seven miles an hour is the camel's limit, nor can it maintain this rate over two hours—a slow pace, beyond which it is dangerous to urge it, lest, as the Asiatics say,it might break its heart and die literally on the spot. When a camel is pressed beyond this speed, and is spent, it kneels down, and not all the wolves in Asia will make it budge apain. The camel remains where it kneels, and where it kneels it dies. A fire under its nose is useless.— Nero York Ijedz/er. Deaf limn Can't be Cured I?y local applications. as they caunot reach the diseased portion or the ear. Therein ouly one way to cure Deafness, and that is by con stitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an in flamed condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in flamed you have a rumbling Bound or imper fect hearing, and when it is entirely closed Deafness is the result, and unless the inflam mation can bo taken out and this tube restored to its normal condition, hearing will be de stroyed forever; nine cases out of ten aro caused by catarrh, which is nothing hot an in flamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by Catarrh) that we cannot cure by taking Hall's Catarrh Cure. I Send for circulats, free. F. J. Cheney Co., Toledo, O. t W Sold by Druggists, 76c. THE London authorities havo put a stop to the holding of lotteries for the benefit of cliar itahle institutions. "The world grows weary praising men, | And wearied grows of being praised—" j Hut never wearied grows the pen j Which writes the truths that have amazed : the thousands who have been given up by | their physicians and who have been restored to complete health by using that safest of all remedies for functional irregularities and weaknesses,which are the bane of womankind. We refer, <»t coons, to Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, the only guaranteed cure for all those chronic ailments peculiar to women. Head the guarantee on the bottle-wrapper. To regulate the stomach, liver and bowels, Dr. Hierce's Pellets excel. One a dose. THERE are twenty-two flour mills in Minnea polis, with a combined daily capacity of Jt8,575 barrels. For washing flannels, Dobbins's Electric Soap is marvelous. Hlankets and woolens washed with it look like new, and there is absolutely no *hrinktiig. No other soap in the world will do such per/eet work. Give it a trial now. RHODE ISI.AND was once famous for its greening apples, but the trees have exhausted themselves. Wliiu or 30 Ct». Will Do! IT WILL BUY YOU A BOTTLE OF Dr. Tobias's Venetian Liniment. Don't be i ersuaded that something else is just as good, but insist upon having I)r. Tobias's Venetian Liniment THE GREATEST PAIN DESTOYER IN THE WORLD. Over forty years established, every bottle has been warranted to give perfect satisfac tion or the money reiunaed, yet such a demand has never been made. Once you test its wonderful curative powers you will never be without it. If your druggists or store-keeper does not keep our goods, send to us and we will forward promptly. Depot 40 Murray St., New York. America's finest, "Tansill's Punch" Cigar. That Tired Feeling Has never L>eeu more prevalent and more prostrat lug than now. The winter has been mild and un healthful, lnflueuza epidemic aud fevers have visited ■early all our homes, leaving about everybody In a weak, tired -out, languid condition. The UHefulneu of Hood's Sarsaparilla Is thus made greater than ever, for It Is absolutely unequalled as a butldlng-up, strengthening medicine. Try It ami you will realiso Its recuperative powers. "I was very much rnn down In health, bad no strength and no inclination to do anything. I have heou taking Hood's Sarsaparilla and that tired feel ing has left me, my appetite HAS returned, I am llkt anew man." CHACXCKY LATHAM, North Columbus Ohio. N. B. If you decide to take Hood's Sarsaparilla do not be induced to buy any other. Hood's Sarsaparilla Fold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD CO., lAnvell, Mass. 100 Doses One Dollar N Y_N U—l3 50 Cts. COLD-HEAD EI.V PfOTBFIW. M Wr.rren St.. Now York. TO PODLTRY KEEPERS. Prepare for the coming season by sending oncdlmd for my sure aud simple cures for Cholera aud (Japes. Worth live dollars to any one who keeps Poultry J AddrewjDe P» S.UITII, Orange, Conn. Monroe Ink Eraser Removes Writing or Riots In Two Second* and leaves paper perfectly smooth. Sample by mall 33 cents. Agent* W anted. SOLE AGENT W. It. .>1 KSKKOI.K. SPRINGVILLE. SUSQUEHANNA CO., PENNA. |J| E N SI ■ 3 yrs LU last war, 15 abjudicating claims, atty SINS* "PTTCT M FTWTTV Any wo man can make a few r 11* IU UIMIJI . doflars weekly without In terference with other duties: no canvassing or AGENCY. Call or send 10 cents for material and par tlfulnrs. C. C'o., 7&7 Broadway, New York. AFJTTVP "MTTTVT everywhere, with largo AAV L # acquaintance and a few hundred capital, may secure Agency netting 91*200 up yearly. <>oodshave universal sale. .No samples. Address WORKER, care IJW L.|| of thla disease. fflf" 1 """* 1 *1 G. U. INGRA H AM.M. D., jggjjf "■» artco&j. " Amsterdam, N. Y. o| Mf«onlT by Iks We bare sold Big G for W^^a*&n 1 12 " ke " do,U "'" dfaio. JFFII U D. rIdYCHK h CO.. Urunrlata. THE BROWN'S. Brown haa a honaeful of jirla and boya. Rosy and healthy and full of nolar. They are iprlvhtly at work and bright at their hook*. And arc noted for imartuea and wit and 4 wBZv Wr-- \ V\) our break fast tables with a delicately flavoured hev- I •£> crago which may nave us many heavy doctors' bills. Q CJ> O It is by the Judicious use of such articles of diet q' V*) I xo. that a constitution may be «ra lually built up until \ -I\\ x '2ll strong enough to resist every tendency to disease. - vj Hundreds of subtle maladies ate floating around us -10 1 O W ready to attack wherever there U a weak point. : /./ £2 u aN We may escape muuy a fatal shaft by keeping our- 5= • m c/i a selves well fortified with pure b? »od and a properly a nourished frame."— "Civil Service Gasett w ■'" Made simply with bolllu* water or mil'*. Soil -+A only In half-pound tins, by Grocers, labelled thus: \ . JAMES KITS «Sfc C 0.., Homoeopathic Chemists, VV. L. DOUGLAS I There is no Medicine like g* OCLJ A C AND $2 SHOE I 90 w n EL for GENTLEMEN I HD OPUnUrLT'C And Ulhcr Advprlhrd Spprinllien Ar© the UK. DbnbNUK O Beat in tl»e World. j None genuine unless name nnd price are stamped I 8 S I HflAillA on bottom. SOLD EVERYWHERE. If your dealer [ HffTR 111 RVfl I I 111 II- will not supply you. send postal for instructions how 1 fflHw V In IVI II lv to buy direct from r- • cry without extra charge. I |Br W. I*. IIOIfCKTPTIT erun Eftß publications with maps describing tuo MM LU My UJI I fl BJ| SEND Fun beat AgrlculturaU Uraiing andTlm- | r Ifl K, 1 ntihjlUlYl her Lands now open tosettlers. sent Iree, Addrest AUm'll S^JtXißfcfcaX*.TX CHAS. B. LAMBoiift | tfi K a Eg COUG « LADIES' HAT FASTENER. ■ The only substitute for hat | Cures Coughs, Golds. Sore Throat, Croup, Whooping pins. Holds any style hat Cough, Bronchitis Asthma, A rertain curr tor s\ firmly to the head without Consumption io Orst and a sore relief in advanosd V nßlDK . b f l t Stages, t -e .. ..w. You will »e the oxeellent effect N SiSffiK after taking the tot Urn. ntß to agents. Send «5 ' • eiUaforHaniple. W. 11. !_ _ _ oaf ■ mm I IIOM I'WON. ratentee, H JB WP H Alf I C 'fWOVED EXCELSIOR MCUMTO» EJR/Wr J?JI GREASE '■liii l Wl I ,n SUcceSSiiil Operation. OuuißtMd ——————-———— — ill" ireui D i,|kt ch larger porecntage ot fertile earn Alllllli HAttlX, Only Certain and OPIUM srsssaa^asja iVi.I,.. I • "•'•ly more than lor a doses necessary li does not con taSol-i ell*. tal,Uv '" iuld ,'" «o 0r "l>' harmless. After Ji. years of trial , J cases our guarantee Is worth something C olir inn>i ha I Lk promptly, Kspend a few cents an.l you have a cure on hand rendr ] when iieedert, aud perhaps save a valuable nors'. If not at vonr druislst'Z I enclose s(i cents for sample o«ittle, sent prepaid 5 .irusglstj, i .... KOKHLKII A- CO., Botlileliein. I'a ?££«'• c nu I Isaac" '»(wo^ilJZ'a^l r r n - V u "" ou ' "•KACVosk two"™- *"***>"■ NtvYork. j Sale ana Rm-hange Slabtr*, Kcutnii.' ■HI piso s iIEJIKDY FOB CATAJUUI.—Best EUioat to IMA * BS Cheapest. Heliof is Immediate, A cure is certain FOR ■■ 'n tUo Head it has no equal. MB Address, y wlfrren. Pi. I