s and Buffets. Most complete in the Val-| GRAF & CO. ‘OF SAYRE. Ospital - $50,000.00 Surplus - $12,000.00 We solicit your Banking basl- H. NH. SAWTELLE, The Valley Record Publisher. , T. CAREY, Editor, 3H, Published every afternoon except Sun- i day 4 Marrelies Printing Office, Sayre, : $3.00 per year; 15 cents known on aved 10 a8 second-¢ ie the A of Congress 1570. ———————————— “AI the news that's fit to print” BATURDAY DECEMBER 1, 1908 * Looking for Troudie. She—Where will we stop for dinner dear, if we go oe® in the automobile’ He—Oh, we had better take our din ner along, and we'll eat wherever we happen to stop.—Yonkers Statesman. Corrected. Gebhart—I suppose he is breathless iy awaiting the possible outcome of that will-contest? + Carsone—More likaly breathlessly awaiting the podetnle frome — Judge His Last Words A gir! in an autormoble Ran down an old man with a squle; When they picked up the pleces He sald: "Excuse mieces You don't know how funny I fle Houston Post ™ POSITION TO BE OVERLOOKED “That's rather a long nose you've got, isn't iL? Have you never noticed nr “Yes; but I generally manage to overlook it" Dead Eggs. Yeast—Did you ever egpa? Crimsonbeak—No, I never did; but I've tried ‘em after they were dead — Yonkers Statesman. An Bvidence of Disregard. “He seems to be very fond of mus $0.” sald an auditor. “He isn’t,” answered Miss Cayenne, “aor he wouldn't try to sing —Waash- ington Star. try to dye He Knew. Teacher—How many eggs are there in a dozen’ Grocar's Boy—Five goed ones, five fair ones and two bad ones —Cleveland Leader. Chronic with Him. Attorney for the Defense—Have you aver been cross-examined before? The Witaess—Have 17 I'm a mar ried man Life. — ’ In Peace, as it Were. A London doctor says every man should have a silent hour at home each day. There are men who will Jean to the epinion that it would be easier to have their silent hours away from home. By Tunnel to iretand. Although ‘little is sald nowadays of 2 tugnel apder the Irfsh sea, yet it Is pot impossible that at some future “date this project, which has been so much canvassed, will yet assume tang FINDS TROUSERS, HOT LINGERIE, IN SUITCASE Youths Play Joke on Bride's Sister, Just Back From Wedding. Norristown, Pa "Ugh! trousers, and other men's clothlug'™ exclaimed pretty Lillian Bergey of Bridgeport, as she opened what she supposed was her own sult case to take oat some wedding cake, lingerie upon re turging from her sister's wedding at Reading Thereby hangs an mnteresting story, which was brought ent at a county commissioners’ meeting A sult containing wedding etc, had been turned over to the commissioners by Webster, watchman on the between here and Bridgeport etc case, bridge “I Found Trousers and Things” He explained that ited In his and he « la the sult had been depos waulch x while he was sanceive why opened it, however, was a let absent Case Connus ter addressed to Mi== Lilian Her Bridgeport, Pa K and official instructions, the commis clerk called up Bridzeport phone and finally got Miss Berge; the Ie and the letter at the othe; rev with ion by at explained the sult case whereupon the end of the complying ors wire sweet wire had just returned f attended the ym Reading wedding of my kilp Upon m3 where | sister I set d ing for a ty nome | 0] WH while wait sie arrival the when Car ened the grip to share h my relat ' 1 found trouse: ind 1 hastened back to the station and man tearing his halr out by the roots searching for the very I had become of turned it over when he wedding cake w Ves things found a youug grip | had t 1 proved his pr to find mine. | noti anthorities and the) the 80 sick to him but 1 was unable tied the railroad had detec operty have tives on case, | guess ed, upon further In mischievous boys 3 and a scent for substitu the the the probably It has transpir vestigation that with far seeing ese que, had for the female the grote ted belongings at the fatter I he are mae station moving to walchuman's box laughing yet Girl Spends Night in Ice Box. New York While high and low all old Helen Cobb box in the policemen hunted night for her, 12 imprisoned in an cellar of her home on Freeman She was liberated next day by her {ather Patrick Cobb He feared. she had been abducted. Cobb is a widower and Helen kept house and looked after thiee smaller children Wednesday sent Helen to a ETOcery with three cents to buy kerosene and she stopped to play and the Afraid to go home she sald she had crept Into the cellar and then into the box and closed the heard her father call her The door had a spring lock and closed her Cobb alarmed toward tildulght and reported Helen's disappearance to Captain Me Glynn Then he and policemen searched for hig daughter He made al trips to the cellar of his home and called, but in He did not go to work yesterday, but continued and near Eul a to his call and traced Year ay fce sires! night he store inst money ice door when she in became Severs vain the search noon he faint the voice to the response ice Dox The Editor's Apology. As usual our printer left us in the ‘soupe” last and this week, and we have not as yet been able to secure the services of another; and there fore we ask the indulgence of our readers for the scarcity of reading matter this week We have been conducting a sale Ly auction, and had but a few spare hours left In which to get out this sheet We hope, how- ever, to do betier next week —Wash- Ington (N. C) Connty Times. A ————————— The New Congressman. SYMPATHETIC| WOMAN By KENNETT HARRIS The freckial boy with the large bump on his forehead wrigzled In the clutch of the large woman who wore the black straw hat trimmed with brown velvet and Concord grapes ‘“Tain’t nothin” he said. “The skin ain't skassly peeled” You pore moung one!’ exclaimed the woman in horrorstricken tones How in the name o massy did you come to do that® Does it hurt you Johany? “Naw,” replied the freckled boy contemptuously. “Ain't pothin’ to hurt ‘You might git blood pizen In IL sald the woman Here, let me put this yer hankchief around it to keep the cold out. My land! What mis chief boys does’ The freckled boy broke away from her and hurried through the store The large woman waddled slowly after him, anxiety written in capital letters on her kindly face As she passed out of the store Par sons broke into a smothered guffaw and the little tailor winked at Wash ington Hancock “She's all right, sald Hancock Some women is jest pachelly that way. She's agoing over to Mis Ber Y's now to try to scare her into a conniption fit, but she won't, Miss Berry's got too many of ‘em to scare easy. Johnny's little brother busted through the swing doors in the mow last summer, an overend 18 foot to the ground, an’ Ht settin His niother seen him from the porch, where she wus a-washin’, bul she didn’t let on, s0's you'd notice ft. In about a minit the young one picked hisself up an’ begun to cry You Beemis' hollers Mig’ Berry You quit that bawlin' right away; you hear me? If you git cuttin’ up them didoes agin I'll take a switch to you an’ frail you outen your hide. Some o' these days youl git hurtel, mark my words, actin’ like that Go up an pull them doors shet That'll do to tell, keeper If 'twarn’t so | wouldn't tell it” sald Hancock with a virtuous expres sion. “She ain't like Milt Sowash's woman. You know Milt, don’t you, Sol*” Baker shook his head It was over on Gooseneck,” supple mented Hancock Rule knows him if you don't Mighty poor stick Milt is, but his wife seems to think he's about all right Milt's wife jest natch- elly wus that there kind ¢ woman jest like Mrs Berry aln't. She'd allua go about pityin’ everybody an’ every. thin’, but with Milt she wus more so If Milt come in from the field an’ said wus plum tuckered she'd fly around like a hen on a hot griddle to bring him a rockin’ cheer out on the porch, an’ it Why, Miit, you pore man' It makes me feel real bad to think o° vou workin’ the way you do Sho! You jest look it, too. Let me git a piller fe: haid,” an’ sech as that One time when they wus athrash in’ Milt pushed a bundle too clost to Cicero Perkins, who wus cuttin’, he got one of his fingers cut much, but If you could the fuss his wife made thought his head was cut hay went kitin® end sald the store- too he out wus Sour an’ Twan't heord you'd have off After she'd got his finger tied up even she'd still keep a pityin’ him an’ askin’ him if it didn’t hurt him Aln't that too Jest to think o that away! wust Juck have had’ she'd vou bein carved up You shorely do have of any man | ever do! Milt if 1 can’t do suthin to see you sufferin’ an around an’ holdin’ my hands must hurt you powerful bad! ter cut you say the knew, tell me I hate standin’ My! It A quar of an Inch more an’ It would bave to the bone nothin’ of It! you shorely honey fer you me you clear an’ there set makin Milt kind o liked it He'd teil her to quit liked It all the ed Han fussin same pursu cock but Lis Fle doe 1 Does he Keeper “I haln’t be for five COCK kind o | je get asked the store en up Gooseneck years or more,’ Mebbe he gits it time though, when weighed in the balance an’ in Way replied Han There was she wus found lack- That wus one day when the Farm ers an’ Drovers’ bank falled ag” Milt lost $230 he had in It an’ as he come back from town his horses got to oct in’ up an’ fin’ly run away an’ busted up the wagon an’ threw Milt out an’ put his ankle out ¢' jint an’ fin'ly missed the bLridge over Gooseneck crick an’ drowned thelrseives He wus settin’ by the side o' the read when his hired man come along ridin’ lickety split to find him an’ tell him that the barn had burned down while he wus tryin’ to doctor the Hereford bull what had got into the corn an foundered hisself. The hired went to a neighbor's am’ got home an’ his wife met him at gate one man Milt the Too much fer her to do jestice to, I a'pose?’ ventured Haker Well, she done her best” Hancock. “That wus about three o'clock in the afternoon an’ she kep' it up stiddy til! after the doctor come at eight. Then she went Into the kitchen to git some water het up When she come back she started bathin' Miit's ankie agin an’ didn't say nothin’ for a minit or two, That made Milt mad By gol. Hetty! he says Don't you reelize all what's happened? 1 sh'd think you'd say suthin’ to show you're a leetle mite sorry’ Chicago Dally News sald South African Winter Resort. The popularity of Victoria falls. Rhodesia, as 8 winter resort for Eag- ol YEN News and advertising matter may be left at Gregg’s Racket Biore, Waverly. After 11 o'clock noon eall the main office at Sayre, Valley ‘phon® 128X, Xmas post cards at Strong's, John J. Higgins is on a business trip to Williamsport. Leather skins $1.50 at Strong's. Miss Margaret Ross is home from Bioghamton and will remain over Sunday, Post card albums Strong's. sc np at “173 2t Theodore Weeks returned from Watkins yesterday, where he went to spend Thanksgiving. We tinsel your name on post card while you wait at Strong's. 2 George Scureman returned from Wilkes-Barre last evening, where he went to spend Thanksgiving, George Campbell spent the past two days in Waverly and has re- turned to his farm near Greens Landing, — — H. J]. Baldwin and wife’have re turned home after a three weeks trip to Baltimore, “Washington, Philadelphia and Mew York city. Claud Kline has returned to Dunkirk after spending the past few days with his family in this village. He is the ageat of the N. P. L at Dunkirk. Yesterday afternoon a horse fell down on the incline on Fulton street, the wheel of the wagon ran upon the animal's tail, and most of it was pulled out. Minard Hoyt is spending a few days at his home in Waverly. He is lecated at East Brady, Pa, and is employed as a mail agent be- tween that point and Pittsburg. A party of young people went on a straw ride to Milan last even ing, and on their return they went to the East Waverly hose house, where they had a very crjoyable social time, Simon Zausmer is bwildinz a room in the rear of his store and will use it for a phonograph room It will be entirely enclosed so that the music of the instiuments will not be heard room, in the main store Mr. and Mrs. E. B. Warner Misses Ida Trescott, Kittie Wars ner and Olive Warner and H. C Waid of Elmira; and Archie Wemple of Buffalo, spsnt Thanks giving at the home of Roy Waid at Ne, 6 Orchard street, —— A ps MISSION STUDY CLASS Waverly—The mission study class will meet with Mrs. James E Angell 414 Chemung street Friday Dec. 7, at 3 p.m. Hawaii will be the subject. All who are interested are invited to attend. The follow- ing program has bzen arranged : Map Talk Mrs Angell ; My Tiip to an Island Paradise Mrs Sebring. The Hawaiian Islands ia 181g Mrs Tozer. Fifty Years After Mrs. Sawyer. Duet Mrs Ingham and Mrs Berry The Leper Colony at Molokai Mrs. Gore. Transformation from an Eastern Monarchy to an American State Mrs, Ingham. PAID HIS FINE Waverly—William Maylon, the young man whe was arrested for an assault on another young man pamed Hyde plead guilty to the charge and paid a fine of $5 yes- terday afternoon. He at first re- fused to plead guilty. and said that he was justified because of the language used by the young man Waverly—If you have a dog’ and have not fully obeyed the law in regard to their care and the safeguards that are provided, you bad better wat:h out or the dog catcher will get the pup and lock bim in the pound, Then you will have to hand over the prescrited amount of shekels to again get him into your possession, other wise he will be killed. The imple- ments for the capture of such dogs as are running at large have been in the town hall for some time, and this momiag two mea took them and started out to de- plete that portion of the canine trite that is now running at large, many of which could be spared No captures have yet been res ported but there wese several lively foot races between the man with the net ard the liberty loving mongrel. PLEASANTLY SURPRISED Waverly —Chas. Collins a ma- rine on the Uaited States battleship Alabama who is spending ten days at the home of his parents on Che- mung St, was pleasantly surprised by a number of his friends last evening. The evening was speat in games, music and other amuses ments, After a few hours erjoy~ ment the guests were ushered into the dining room where a bouates ous supper was served. The guests were the Misses Laura Stevens, Bertha Hess, Susan Squires, Helen Dillon, Edna Cols lias, Ona Fairbanks, and Messrs Clarence Langeland, Lester Munic Larrea Degroffand Percy Allinger GAVE A DEMONSTRATION Itis said that two well known base ball players went to the Le- high station on Thursday night and beautifully trimmed a couple of express messengers. The assault is «aid to kave beea made without provocation, and that tee base ball artists simply wanted to demonstrate their ability as ponents of the pugilistic art. No arrests will follow, but it is said that the messengers were most liberally decorated with discolored optics, and that the ermine fi:w in all directions. x LOCAL NEWS A series of revivals arc being held at the Methodist church. All arc invited to attend. Regular services will be held at the Baptist church tomorrow morn ing and the Lord's suppzr will be administered at the close of the €Vening service. H. R Talmadge is to deliver pessessicn of his plumbing estab lishment to the Elmira Shirt Man- ufacturing company today. The carpenters have begun erecting ths frame work for the new building | vie on Lockhart street. PLEASANTLY ENTERTAINED Mrs. Arthur Merrill of 97 Che- mung Strect, entertained a few guests of Waverly and Sayre in honor of Mrs. Halbert of Palmyra, and Mr. and Mrs. Fred Gifford of | Santa Barbara, Cal. Music and|tw games were played and light re- freshments were served All en- joyed a very pleasant evening. William's Carbolic Salve With Amica and Witch Hazel The best Salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Tet- ter, Chapped Hands and all skin erup- tions. It Is guaranteed to give satisfac tion, or money refunded. ioe 350 by droggista. illlams Mf’ : rg Li hey s Cleveland, O. Sold by druggist, B re Brings on Rheumatism Painful In its Bae fom. okly an agony orf lected, When you feel the first = in the muscles, first slight hes in the joints take Bloodine. It acts im- mediately on the Blood aod Nerves, and will poaitivel cure Rheumatism, how- ever severe, oa by C. M. Driggs, Sayre. Piles! Piles! Piles! JUSTICE OF THE PEACE OFFICE ROOM 8, M. P. A. BUILDING. Telephone j246y. MITTEE: ARars Tynvas Ruiner be Ecrrammss Wassrawaran piven ia nwa 11 LL FAIL Safe! Some! Beet; | Ratle cme y Esfanded Foui prepaid or $1.80 por Fo — atu rig, t= te paid fer whes reSeved Bamps Frew. 17 pout Sragitet dus bed Bare them send your evden is (he URITED MEDICAL CO. soa 74, Lancasrin, Pa Pharmacel Co. ELEER A. WILBER, Wholes:ler of Wines, Beer and Ales. CUR PPECIALTIXA WEICH BEER AND ALLS, KOR- WiCH EREWING (O'S. ALES. BOTH 'FHONES, LEHIGH GOAL SCRANTON. The Cheapest od the Best. not pay other dealers more than tity and price. No. 116 Erie Strect, Both Phones, Attorneys and Counselors. P. A. Block, Fayre, Te, nard Block, Athens, Po. M. Bloodine Liver Pills. Cure shronic Constipation. 25¢ a Box. Cards For Sale. following card signs: For Rent For Bale Private Office Please Do Not Ask for Credit Positively No Admittance Faro Roots] Rrarding {1a effect Nov. :5, 10%) Tinins leave Bayre as follows RASTEOUND Dally for Towsnda, Wilkes-Barre, M. ) bane. 23 * 12:32 , Philadel; le, Balilmore nad W nock, FPittsice, 2: i Chench, Allentown, Yorx and Philadelphia. AM. (Waverly é pa. uJ Wa Wilkes Barre, , Tank henaock, AM. To Waverly & a, Tunk A.M) souk, B: P. u. (Waverly 13: P. M. Dat 12: AL. for Fowiant: Tuakhanneck, White lsven Chunk A a3 o Bethe bem, New York, P sZaiphla, Baltimere end Washington. a ot Wan Withington ag F. M) ter, oo sl P.M. (Waverly ’ only for Athens, roetion, New Albany alls, w ae ville, Tunkhannock, WRETBOUND, 35 AM en Fy us iy A AY Er feo isa Cal o‘enia, Buffale. Ceunects fo Bikes Pale sad Termin A.M. Week days only, for Van Eiten, bute, He) Hoy, , Geneva, Nisgara Falls. “11:00 3313s M. A “Detrott, 0:18 fain. B31 = b: i Lu Dally, Walle, Detrott, Chicago, re! Geneve aad Manchestes. A. Atkins, on Spa pnt H. H. Mercereau, Attorney-at-Law . oy SE -~ Mandolin Teacher I Will be in Bayre on Batu each week, eh t oh 1 on Saturday, sash instruction of pupils on the mandolin. Studie: Room 2, Richard block, over postoffice. For ferther particulars ad- dress, Edwin F. Loomis, Athens, Pa. =a — There is no nook nor cor= ner where The Valley Rec- ord does not circulate DR. A. G. REES, M.D. 111 Miller Street. OFFICE HOURS: I| 8 t011:00 a m2 to §:30, 7:00 bo 8:00, eclty Bo ph chronlo diseases a A E.BAKER. Carpenter and nd Builder. 17 Pleasant Bt. 4 Waverly, K. YX. TOUHEY'S HOTEL Brary New sod Up-do-Date. Fish escumodations. Thomas Ave, Opposite L, V, Siation, tstas $1.50 Par Pov, Save. A.].GREEN CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER. Plazas asd Estimates Furnished 35 Btevanson 84, Valley Phone 2i%y R. H. DRISLANE, Contractor and Builder Plans aad Estimates Furnished 210 Millar St Sayre. Pa Read The Record. rig h For sale or rent a good equl laneh Fidos al or address 214 fre ace, ens, Heating stove 408 Keystone Guaranteed first class, ” roe a prover 1 han quire of C. C. West, Bayre. For office rent, rooms in the W ——— ma bene