2 It draws trade.
It is a winner,
It shows prosperity.
Try it.
340 Broad Street.
Waverly, N. Y.
Did you ever have any real
comfort in trying to warm your
{eet at an ord radiator ?
Equip your radiaters with our
Foot Warmer
which can also be used as a
* warming shelf oa a dining room
radiator, and then you'll know
what the other fellow misses be-
cause be didn't buy.
For deco
"i market. All colors.
H. R. TALMADGE
Plumbing, Heating,
Tinning,
Both "Phones. Elmer Ave,
Building Lots
buys 3 Stedman St. lot, 50x140.
buys a Hopkins St. lot, 650x150.
Lot corner Stevenson and
cheap.
Lot on Allison St, central.
River ans a Lockhart
ple
Of Course you will entertain this
Mottoes, Fancy Lace Paper Doilies,
| Birthday Cake Candles and Holders,
| Souvenir Boxes for candy, etc.
We also make Wedding and Birth-
day Cakes to order; Hand Decorated
Madison street.
Elmer,
$2000 buys modern
.
F. J. TAYLOR.
| Cakes and Dainty Rolls.
Satisfaction Guaranteed.
GEORGE PAINTON,
345 Broad Sreet,
Waverly, N. Y.
Attorney-at-Law
Notary Public
Contractor and Builder
Valley Phone 11 X.
113 Desmond Breet,
Watches $7.50't0 $40.00
Sayre, Pa.
Thin capillary f fleeces:
te, earih's Wistar king,
And Johnson, Pope and Gibbon,
Beleg short of Rirsute covertny
Wore wigs tied deft with ribbon.
But Acham, J Iscariot
Apanias (of iruth chary),
Herod, the Pharisess 1 wot,
All sported capuls hairy;
Laler came Dacion Robesplerre,
And Marat, biocdy trio;
Guy Fawkes and Jeffries. Glencoe Stalr,
Thick-thatched like Bddiing Nero
Nor will the eve in sooth, oft see
Bald Hotlentot or Arab
Kamchatkan, aborigines,
Kurd or man. eamng Carib;
Nay, cay, buf of {he human breed
The greater io earth's story
Are (Rose who lead in thought ard deed
Crowned not with hair, but glory!
—~Monroe Guy Carleton is N. ¥ Bun
"THE NOSE
HOLDERS
By T. P. MORGAN
HIRTY-ONE saints in bagh A suf
fering sinner with a huge spring
clothes-pin spapped onto each ear one
on his pose another on his lower lip,
several hanging from: his fingers and
twice as many more without places 0
Jang on
The victim of the clothes pin Was the
inventive clerk of the Duffy house. The
salots in bags were the 31 most prom
inent members of Elder Blowhorn 's fol
lowing
Besides being clad in bags the saints
were adorned by pumerous abrasions
and bruises, caused by the eventls thal
followed the practical application of the
clerk's little invention for causing ib-
voluntary sporing
After prolonged and unique reasoning,
the clerk proved to his own satisfaction
that snoring was greatly conducive to
the preservation of heaith His theory
was simple enough, too. From careful
observation, he had learned that the
more robust the person. the more lusty
and resonant was his snore. Weak per-
sons snored in a weak, coy way, as if
they had not learned to play on their
pose harps very well But the stalwart
ones strong of wind and sturdy of torso,
would utter a few preliminary diapason
notes. run up and down the scale a
couple of times and then, striking the-
proper key dash into the popular tune
of “1 am dreaming of thee Nora,
darling
Foliowing out this line of reasoning
the clerk very soon reached the con-
clusion that ip order for weak ones to
become healthier, they must snore
more If they would not snore they
must be made to
Ere long, the clerk's little invention
for the promotion of involuntary snor-
ing was complete. It was modeled after
and very much resembled the pinching
variety of clothes-pin. which when it
seizes anything hangs on with the
tenacity of a spapping-turtle
All that Is necessary to make a sleep
er snore is to cause him to breathe
through bis mouth. The idea was that,
when one of these pose holders was
snapped on the victim's bill, he would
either breathe through his mouth or
choke. And, i" he breathed through his
facial gash, he would spore. and the util-
ity of the clerk's little {invention would
be demonstrated
80 pleased was the clerk with bis idea
that he constructed nearly half a bushel
of nose holders before he made a trial of
bis mental vision fixed on the subjects
: for a wholesale experiment. These were
; of Elder Blowhorn and the doctrines by
By some means the clerk had learned
that, owing to the limited number of
{ sleeping-tents. and the ubexpected ar-
rival of a large delegation of believers
which services were held in the day-
It was upon the noses of this col
lection of saints the clerk resolved Ww
‘experiment
Not that they lacked in health or mus-
cularity, for most of them looked as if
they had a decided hankering after the
flesh pois of Egypt; but because he
wanled to ascertain the different effects
pon different individuals apd poses
» that lie tension of 1} rice= might
Boefea« =uit gli
er sel
for the end of the world, and they had
awaited its coming with all the anxiely
felt by spectators around a sick horse.
But as each date had failed to witness
the interesting event. they grew appre
hensive that It might walk in upon them
al any time
All day long thelr ascension robes
hung on handy nails, and at night they
slept in them
In order that the rush of wind, con-
sequent upon so many people going up
at ulite
over their heads the garments were
at the bottom. making
of each a long bag with sieeves io |L
When the clerk, with his half-bushel
or so of nasal-pinchers arrived at the
big tent just before midoight, he found
31 saints sleeping within,
ascension bag and with his face up-
turned to the dim light of the solitary
lantern
sewed together
pruspects of a successful wholesale ex-
periment
As noiselessly as a spook. he tiptoed
from cot to cot. clasping the compressors
on the bills of the saints.
their particularly fine work
mouths of the sleepers flew open in one
grand snore. A moment later, the
pinching of his beak aroused one of the
more wakeful sieepers. and finding his
nose io the grasp of some imaginary
demon. he sprang up In affright
tumbled down. and knocked over and
extinguished the lantern
The rumpus aroused the others. who
feeling their beaks in the clutches of
mething. and thinking that at last the
long expected occasion had arrived and
Satan was already endeavoring to drag
them off. leaped up with loud cries, and
endeavored to rush out where they could
go straight up without having to cut
holes in the tent
In a moment they were all down, and
saints and cotz were tangled in inex.
tricable confusion. Then, as it dawned
upon each that the object upon his bill
was a large clothes-pin, he forgot his
desire to ascend In his thirst for re-
{ BAINTS AND COTS WERE TANGLED
IN INEXTRICABLE CONFUSION
venge
robes prevented their locomotion, and
HE CLASPED THE COMPRESSORS
ON THE BILLS OF THE SAINTS
the invention except upon his own nose,
where it worked to his intense satisfac-
tion, and pearly pinched his beak off
atl the same time.
Conceiving the idea that the ordinary
springs were too modest lo asserting
he &
| ing all the time like demons in bags.
| Each thought himself the victim of a
| was fully determined to get even for the
unseemly meddling with his sacred
probobscis.
Frightened at the unexpected work-
succeeded ln getting Into the very midst
eed
two brothers, while others snapped the
{ nose holders onto his ears, nose, lips
and fingers
{ A rope was produced, and, to the
{ clerk's terrified eyes, it seemed as If
they were about to hang him. Strepgth-
| eped by fear, he jerked away from the
saints who held him, rushed against and
over two of the brethren, and burst
headlong through the side of the tent,
wholly ignoring the opening provided
for egress
As well as they could, the ascension.
ists hopped and tumbled outside and
saw the clerk disappearing with the
speed of a quarter-horse and shedding
nose pins at every jump
Presently he went out of sight io the
moonlight, in the direction of the Duffy
house, and the 31 bagged saints returned
to their cots to await the end of the
world.—Good Literature.
FLAGS GUARD PROPERTY.
Reading Woman Imitates Dba
Frietchie and Wins Over
Supervisara.
Reading, Pa.—Mrs. Marie Wagon-
horst, of Longswamp, proved herself
Berks county's Barbara Frietchie
“Shoot, If you must, this old gray
head, but the man who takes one of
the flags away from the front of my
property will run up against a bunch
of trouble”
So, in effect, if not in so many
words, said Mrs. Wagonhorst when
| Supervisor Fegley attempted to open
i & gutter in front of her dwelling.
{| No sooner had the official staked out
3
Believed to Have Had Its Origin as
Part of the Sun Worship
of Celts,
A book published at Venice In 1585
building than she secured seven
American flags and stuck them in the
| ground along the line
{ She then procured a shotgun and
she took up a position on her porch
and dared the supervisor and his as
sistants to go ahead with their work
After a long parley they gathered to
gether the Implements of their trade
and decamped with more haste than
| grace
guard for some time.
Turned Squaw.
Bhe who was Grace Wetherbee of
New York, is now an Arapahoe squaw,
i Carrying her pappoose strapped to her
shawl and moccasins, she dwells on
the Shoshone Indian reservation, near
Fort Washakie, Wyoming
ago Miss Wetherbee came from her
home in New York to visit the family
of the post-trader there. Miss Wether
bee met Coolidge. a full-blooded In
dian, who was coniucting a mission,
They fell in love ad sight, were mar
ried, and have lived happily
The Oyster Fork.
A helpful idea in table setting when
there are fo be a number of elaborate
courses, necessilating various forks
aud knives is to have the small oyster
fork laid across the others ready for
the first course This precludes the
. possibility of any mistake either
through ignorance of the intricacies ol
modish serving or absent-miundedness
Then, as each succeeding course |s
brought on, the deft fingers of the
{ mald or discreet bu! can give a
slight tilt to the correct fork to use for
! that particular dish
Municipal Telescope,
Cardiff is the first place to cater for
| {ts amateur astronomers by the pro
{| vision of a municipal telescope. This
fostrument, which bas jus! been dedi
| cated to the public use, is a fine 12-
inch equatorial reflector and was be
i queathed to the citizens Ly the late
{ Dr. Franklen Evans. The city council
bas borme the expenses iucidental to
the suitable disposal of the gift. which
is erected in an observatory oulside Lhe
city
Will Bar Japs.
Mr. Seddon, the premier of New Zea-
land, announced in a speech recently
that Japanese would pot be allowed 0
| come to New Zealand and that the col-
ony woulda refuse to be dictated toin the
matter. This is in reference Lo a cir-
cular from the British colonial office,
addressed to the colonies and demand-
ing the repeal of laws that are repugnant
to the feelings of nations with which
eat Britain is at peace
play iu a real football that was actual.
The field
“was so large that po one, however
strong, could quite throw a stone from
one cod to the other.” and it was about
half as wide. Twenty, 30 or 40 persons
could participate on a side. the pum-
ber being regulated by the size of the
available field. Goals were set up at
either end. No one was permitted to
strike the ball with the outstretched
arm or with anything he might carry
in his hand. Nevertheless, he was
permitted to “sirike the ball with
whatever part of his body that he
plea+sd.” If the ball came rolling to
ward him he was allowed to kick it,
the inference being that if it were ly-
ing sull he could not do so. The field
was divided by a transverse line “into
two equal parts, and in the middle lay
the ball. The players were chosen,
those who were going to make up the
Opposing parties means of colors,
which. in the struggle of the con-|
each could recognize his own side,
When the zigna! was given by the roll
of ths drum or the blast of a trumpet
a player rushed forward, one who had
been chosen by lot to be the first to
kick the ball with his fool This action
was understood to be the beginning of
the contest so that after it it was per
mitted to no one from either party to
seize It, to strike it, and to drive It as
victor over the goal. It was perhaps
from the method of the beginning of
the game that it was called football
These ltallan games had their origin
in the ancient pastimes of the Greeks
and Romans, and in reality approach
nearer to the modern idea of foottall
in
modern countries. Football is believed
by some authorities have been a
portion of the worship of the Celtic
sun god, one of the rites atlendant on
the cciebrative ceremonies. Some also
hold a strong belief that itz origical
form was introduced Into England by
the Romans
by
by
test
IN EATABLES.
Various Articles Sold in France Are
: Not What They Are Rep-
sented to Be.
When you order truffles in France
you are likely to get something you
are not paying for. The rrench people
know that the truffle is at times adul
terated, and what is paimed off for
New York Times, is
often black rubber or black silk or
softened leather or roasted pulaloes,
which are given a peculiar flavor by
adding ether. It is sald these subs.
tutes sell well
In Paris, where snalls are very pop-
ular they are adulterated with lungs of
cattle and horses. Even entire snails
are manufactured. The discarded shells
of snails which have been eaten are
recoated with fat and slime and filied
with lung tissue and then sold as Bur-
gundy snails
French fish dealers smear vaseline
over stale fishes to give them a fresh
appearance. To impart the correct col
or to the gills of fish which have been
a long time out of the water they paint
the gills with eosin, a coal tar pr duct
Laving a red color
Even things made ln Geriany are
not always what they seem (u Le It
is stated that an ordinary liver patty
is made into flue Strasburger pate de
foie gras by means of borax or salicylic
acid, and finely chopped and cleverly |
distributed pleces of black silk to rep |
resent truffles
————— {
Guardians of the Pope
The pope's Swiss guard will celebrate |
the fourth centenary of their institute
in January next. Their history, which |
is interesting is to be (01d In a special
volume about to be published bw Prof |
Durrer
Futile. |
Fortune Teller texamining her palm) |
—Beware of a strikingly bandsome, |
tall, dark-haired young man
Fair Customer—Iit's too late for that,
I've married him —Chicago Tribune
Gullible Farmers.
Thousands of farmers answered the
advertisement of a man who offered to
sell “a recipe for making a pound of |
butter from a pint of milk and | tea
spoonful of our preparation.”
aE
=
Rheumatist <
' Is A
Curable Disease
A remedy ro remove the poison.
ors Uric Acid, together with 1he
pre treatment suited to your
special cace, will you a'mast
instaptly and cure you iu theend, ©
ner
| reliey
H. L. GILLESPIE
Sells the Remedy ;
Athdophotos
He twill
Blank. ill
send 1t to us, a:
you the Tr
THC ATL
you a Question
ut thic blank fully,
il we will furnish
tment, FREE. »
even Cong
A.J.GREEN
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
l give
525 Stevenson St, Sayre, Pa.
L. B. DENISON, MN. D.
Office, Rooms 2 and 4
Talmadge Building, Elmer Ave,
Valley Phone at office and
residence
Read The Record,
WANT ADS
Rates :— Wanted, Lost, Found, For
Sale, etc, § cent a word each Insertion
for first three times, } cent 2 word atch
insertion thereafter. None taken for
leas than 25 cents. Bituations wanted,
free to paid in advance mabucribers.
Notice.
Want ada inserted by persona not
ing a ledger acooant with The
must be paid for when ordered pri
We positively cannot charge want ¢
indiscriminately—the expense beak
keeping and collecting is en =
proportion to the amount in — 3
the transaction.
For Sale or Exchange.
Double barrel 12-guage hammer Shots
gue in perfect condition for mle
or cash, or will trade for a good
Write what you have to offer to
man.” care Valley Record, Rayre, Pa. 1150
The Record, bas the best House
Lease ever printed in Bradford count)
also Vest Pocket and Desk
Books; and a variety of Legal Bla
for Justices and Constables,
For Rent
Westbrook house, Lockhart street, 10
“coms; inquire of J. W. Beaman,
Pa. 188.
Third floor of the Glaser block. Bleo=
tric light, bath room and all modesn Ime
provements. Enquire at Glaser's Loan
office, Loc kbart street, 1788
A suite of rooms in the Andrews b
corner Elmira and Bridge streets, §
floor, city and cistern wa fumace
beat. luguire of Rev. W, W. drev
507 Elmira street, Athens.
For Sale.
A quantity of hand threshed rye straw
W. G. Patterson, Fast Athens,
Farm of 50 acres, very cheap, or
nn
exchange for improved real estats i
$1000 on 200 acre farm, interest LLY
Address, Box 78
Waverly. 1
eee ———
House and lot for sale, Inquire on
premises at No. 515 North Kilmer aves
189 1.
The James H. Wilson house and lot 108
Centre street, Athens, Inavirs of Mit
Fanny Smith on the premises.
( ‘hristinas trees for sale at H
V Mlley ‘phone Plx
AS we al matched team of work +
for sale at a bargain. EE 0
1117 Packer avenue, Sayre,
7
SILVER
LEATHER 6000S
The Cumulative
Prosperity
Of six years foretells such
a demand for goods as can
be furnished only by a store
whose prestige and resour-
ces call on the best markets
of this country.
THE GOOD QUALITY GOODS
Now in demand suggests the one
dealer who handles nothing else—
the store whose reputation, stock
and methods, are alike above re-
proach.
PROSPECTIVE SCARCITY
In staple goods suggests the one
concern that is best prepared to meet
instanter all the demands of its
patrons at any time or in any quan-
tity—today or the ‘day before
Christmas.”
THE INTELLIGENT BUYING
Necessitated by prevailing condi-
tions suggests the one dealer whose
stock equipment and facilities insure
the promptest service and the most
helpful counsel in gift selections
Signet Hat Pins with initials en-
graved, 50c each
Signet Rings,
£1.50 to $20
Signet Scarf Ping ‘with monogram
ved, $1.00 up 01
Signet Fobe, $3.25 up
with monogram,
on
-ed
Silver Tea Spoons, 50¢ each up
Gold Cuff Links with monogram
$2 per pair
Shiver Umbrella and Hat Markers
with initials engraved 25¢
Watches—Our stock is complete.
Prices from $2 to $125
Gold Lockets with monogram en-
graved from §1 50 to $20
Toilet Sets in Sterling silver from
$1to 825
Beautiful Gilt Clocks $1.15 Ev-
ery one warranted
Equal to
Every Occasion
Embodies our reputation.
There's a sense of security
in knowing that you have at
your command the largest
stock in this section with
prompt, accurate and reli-
able service backed up by a
responsible and honest guar-
antee that you will get the
right quality at right prices.
Chatelaine Watches, $4.50 to $15.08
Nappies, (five inch) $1.00,
WATER SETS, . . . . $6.9
Bowls, (eight inch) $3.50.