The Church Road. BUfiDETT'B INTERVIEW WITH TIIK RAILROAD BRAKKMAN. On the road once more, with Lebanon fading away in the distance, the fat pas fienger drumming idly on the window pane, the cross passenger sound asleep and the tall thin passenger reading "Gen. Grant's Tour Around ihe World," and wondering why "Green's August Flower" should Ve printed above the doors of "A Buddhist temple at Bfeto&rfev." To me comes the biakeman, and seating himself on the arm of my seat says : "i went to church yesterday," "Yes?" I said, with that interested in fiecton that asks for more. "And what church did you attend !" "Which do you gn?ss?" he asked. "Some union mission church?" I haz arded. "Naw," he said, "I don't like to run on these branch roads very much. I don't of ten go to church, and when I do, I want to run on the main line, where your run is regular and you goon schedule time and don't have to wait on connections. I don't like to run on a branch. Good enough but f don't like it." "Episcopal?" I guessed. "Limited express," he said, "all palace cars and two dollars extra for a scat; fast time and only stop at the big stations. Nice line, but too exhaustive for a brake man. All train men in uniform, conduct or's punch and lantern silver plated, and no train boys allowed. Then the passen gers are allowed to talk back at the con ductor, and it makes them too free and easy. No, I couldcnt stand the palace car, Rich road, though. Don't often hear of a receiver being appointed for that line. Some mighty nice people travel on it, too." "Universalist?" I suggested. "Broad gague," said the brakeman? "does too much complimentary business. Everybody travels on a pass. Conductor doesn't get a fare once in fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations and wont run into any thing but a union depot. No smooking car on the train. Train orders are rather vague though and the train men don't get along well with the passengers. No I didn't go to the Universalist, though I know some awfully good men who run on that road." ''Presbyterian?" I asked. "Narrow gague, eh?" said the brakeman, "pretty tarck, straight as a rule; tunnel right through a mountain lather than go around it; Spirit level grade; passengers have to show tickets be tore they get on the train. Mighty strict road, but the cars are a little narrow; have to sit one in a seat and no'room in the aisle to dance. Then there's no stop over tickets allowed; gyt to go straight through to the station you're ticketed for, or you can't get on at all. When the car's full, r.o extra coaches; cars built at the shops to hold just so many and nobody else allowed on. But you don't often hear of au accident on that road. It's run right up to the rules." "Maybe you joined the Free Thinkers?" I said. "Scrub road," said the brakeman, "dirt road bed aud r.o ballast; no time card and no train dispatcher. All trains run wild and every engineer makes his own time just as he pleases. Smoke if you want to; kind of go as-yoti-please road. Too many side tracks, and every switch wide open all the time, with the switchman sound asleep and the target lamp dead out. Get on as you please ami get off when you want to. Don't have to show your tick ets, and the conductor isn't expected to do anything but amuse the passengers. No, sir I was offered a pass, but I don't like the line. I don't like to travel on a road that has no terminus. Do you know, sir, I asked a division superintendent where that road run to, and he said he hoped to die if ho knew. I asked him if the general superintendent could toll me, arid he said lie didn't believe they had any general superintendent, aud If they had, he j didn't know any more about t he road than | the passengers. I asked him who he re ported to, and he said "nobody." I asked a conductor who he got his orders from and he said he didn't take orders from any living man or dead ghost. And when I asked the engineer who he got his orders from and he said he'd like to see anybody give him orders, he'd run that train to suit himself or he'd run it into the ditch. Now you see, sir, I'm a railroad man, and I don't care to run on a road that has no time, makes no connections, runs nowhere and has no superintendent. It may be all right, but I've railroaded too long to un derstand it." "Did you try the Methodist?" I said. "Now you're shouting." he said with some enthusiasm. "Nice road eh?" Fast time and plenty of passengers. Engines carry a power of steam, and don't }'ou forget It; steam gague shows a hundred and enough all tV.e time. Lively road; when the conductor shouts "all aboard," you can l;cnr him to the next station. Every train lamp shines like a headlight. Stop-over checks are given on through tickets ; passenger can drop off the train as often as he pleases .do the station two or three days and hop on the next revival train that comes thundering along. Good, whole-souled companionable conductors; ain't a road in tin* country where the pas sengers feel more at home. No passes; every passenger pays full trade rateo for his ticket. Wesleyauhou.se air brakes on all trains, too; pretty safe road, but I din't ride over it yesterday. "Maybe you went to the Congregation al church?" 1 said. "Popular road," said the brakeman, "an old road, too; one of the very oldest in i?i the countrs. Good road bed and com fortable cars. Well managed road, too; directors don't interfere with division superintendents and train orders. Road's mighty popular but it's pretty independ ant, too. See, didn't one of the division superintendents down east discontiuu one of the oldest stations on this line two or three years ago? But it's a mighty pleasant road to travel on. Always has such a splendid class of passengers." "Perhaps you tried the Baptist?" I guessed once more. "Ah, ha! ' said the breakman, ''she's a daisy, isn't she? lliver road; beautiful curves; swefp around anything to keep close to the river, but it's all steel railaud rock ballast' single track all the way and not a side track from the round house to the terminus. Takes leip of water to run it through; double tanks at every station and there isn't an engine in the shops that can pull a pound or run a mile with less than two gauges. But it runs through a lovely country; these river roads always do; river on one side and hill on the oth er, and it's a ste3dv clime up the grade all tho way till the run ends where the lountainhead of the river begins. Yes, sir. I'll take the river road every time for a lovely trip, sure connections and good time, and no prarie dust blowing in at the windows. And yesterday, when the conductor came around for the tickets with a little basket punch, I didn't ask linn to pass me, but i' paid my fare like a little man—tweuty-ilvecents for an hour's run and a little concert by the passengers thrown in. I toll you. Pilgrim, you take the liver road when you want—" But just here the long whistle from the engine announced a station and the brake man hurried to the door, .shouting: "Zionsville! This train makes no stops between here and Indianapolis I" review: On I.y Twenty- Fi v o Cent.K tx Month. TRY IT? Vertical Feed. As usual, the Vertical Feed Sewing Machine took First Pre mium, at the late county Fair. 1331. THE CULTIVATOR 1880. AND Country Gentleman. The Boat of the AGRICULTURAL WEEKLIRvI Ills Unritkpabbei), if not Unkqualed, for he Amount and Variety of the Practical Informa tion It contains, and for the Ability and Extent ol itrt Correspondence—in the Three Chief Directions of • Farm Crops and Processes, Horticulture and Fruit-Fro wing, Live Stock and Dairying— while it also inchidcn all minor