4 WAR SPECIALTIES MAKE MARKET'S ACTIVITIES Doppers and Oils Figure In Trade In Exchange—Mexican Petroleum Has Gained Over Five Points in Con nection With British Interests By Aitociotnf Press. Xew York, April 24. —Wall Street. —War specialties, coppers and oils con tributed more than their recent quota toward to-day's short but active stock market session. With the exceptions of I'nion Pacific, Reading and U. S. Bteel, the speculative favorites were not particularly prominent. The group of railroads commonly referred to as in reorganisation class, showed furth~ ir heaviness, and tobaccos, motors and tome more obscure industrials lost 1 (o 4 points. Mexican Petroleum gained ever 5 points, selling at a new high record iu connection with the beneficial Arrangement made by the company, with British interests. Best prices were made in the final dealings under leadership of 9teel which gained 2 points on h«avy buying accompanied by rumors of a speedy decision of the suit brought by the government against the company. The closing wai strong. Bonds were irregular. \ HREO OF COACHMAN SPOUSE Millionaire Edward N. Breitung in Alienation Suit Says His Daugh ter Wanted Marriage Annulled By Associated Press. New York. April 24.—Edward X. Breitung. capitalist, was called to the Stand when the suit for $250,000 damages brought against him and his wife by Max Frederick Kleist. a coach man, for alienation of their daughter's affections was resumed in the United States District Couri to-day. Mr. Breitung's testimony, a resume of that given at the first hearing of the suit, which ended in a mistrial, was that he was disposed only to act in Kleiat's interest from the start and was willing to help him. On cross examination. however, Mr. Breitung admitted that on one occasion he was going to strike and kick Kleist. but Juliet intervened. This was when Kleist called on his parents-in-law kere. Mr. Breitung said Kleist was wearing "my socks, cravat and scarf pin." "Why were you going to strike himt" the witness was asked. "Because he made a slighting re mark about my daughter. He made slighting remarks first about Mrs. Breitung's family and then about my own family." Kleist protested, the witness said, that the socks, cravat and scarf pin were given to him by Juliet. After Mr. Breitung's anger had cooled, he said, he asked Kleist to go to Xew Mexico. The witness said he did this to give him a chance to make good. Mr. Breitung said his daughter had asked him to have the marriage an nulled. The suggestion came from her, not the witness. He told her. without giving any reason, that it could not be done, he said. "She said she wanted to get an an nulment and get married again," Mr. Breitung testified. "She said she was somewhat ashamed." JAMES HOLDEX STOTT DIES Father of Mrs. Joseph H. Frantx Suc cumbs After Long Illness, Aged 75 James Holden Stott, 75 years old, died at 10 o'clock this morning at the home of hie daughter, Mrs. Joseph H. Frantz, 1701 Xorth Third street, after a long illness from a complication of diseases. Mr. Stott was born in Reading. De cember 5, IS4O, and was the last of a family of six children of Jeremiah Stott and Xancy Holden Stott, of Birmingham. Eng., who settled in Reading in 1840. Mr. Stott is survived by two sons and four daughters, Jere B. Stott, of Denver. Col.; James H. J?tott, Jr., of Reading; Mrs. William R. Jenkins, Bellefonte; Mrs. Addison B. Stegall, Pittsburgh; Mrs. Anna t>tott Rankin and Mrs. Joseph H. Frantz, of Harrisburg. Funeral services will be held a: the Tlome of his daughter, Monday after noon at 2.30 o'clock. The Rev. E. A. Pyles. pastor of the Fifth Street Methodist church, and the Rev. E. E. Curtis, pastor of the Westminster Preebyterian church, will officiate. John B. Welbner The funeral of John B. Weibner, who dropped dead in front of his home, 549 Race street. Thursdav aft ernoon, will be held Monday 'afternoon at 2 o'clock. Interment will be in the Baldwin cemetery, Steelton. DENISON LEADS SHOOT Had Perfect Score in Benefit Event at 8 O'clock This Afternoon Forty-seven men entered in the Harrisburg Sportsmen's Association shoot at Second and Seneca streets this afternoon. The shoot was for tbe benefit of the Polyclinic hospital and is for merchandise prizes given by lo cal merchants. At 3 o'clock Denison. shooting in group Xo. 1. was loading with a per fect score, having thirty breaks out of thirty shots. Slioop, Loguo and Wilson broke twenty-nine. The shoot will continue until after 5 "o'clock. About a hundred spectators witnessed the shooting. Duase Fighters Warmly Welcomed Xish, Serbia. April 24. via London, April 24. 3.35 P. M.—Dr. Richard P. Strong, professor tropical diseases in the Harvard Medical school, who has come to Berbia to fight the epi demic of diseaxe which prevails throughout the country, arrived here to-day and was extended a warm of ficial welcome. He was met at the railroad station by representatives of the foreign office and the ministers of war and interior and by the president of the Senoian Red Cross Society. Her Six Sons Her Pallbearers The six sons of Mrs. Emma Elizabeth Weaver, aged 60 years, a former resi dent of this city, acted as pallbearers at her funeral at Dillsburg yesterday morning at 10 o'c'ock. Thev are: Charles. Akron, O.; Harry C., Chicago, 111.; Miles L., Pittsburgh; Edward and Wsrren. of Harrisburg, and Avers, at home. The services were in charge of the Rev. E. M. Allen, pastor of the Dillsburg Methodist church. TTAHWSRTTRO STAB-INDEPENDENT, SATURDAY EVENING. APRIL 24, 1918. COURT 17 CASES FOR ARGUMENT Prothonotary Holler To-day An nounced List of Oaaee In Which Appeals Have Been Filed "Seventeen causes including rehearing applications and judgment reversals are contained in the list of suits to be argued on Tuesday as annouuced by Prothonotary Holler. The list fol lows: Mabel and Harry Lerch vs. Her shey Transit Company, motion for judg ment despite verdict; Commonwealth Insurance Agency vs. William H. Op perman Company, new trial and judg ment despite verdict; J. S. Famous vs. Troup Piano House, new trial; Silver man Bros. vs. George Brengle Miller, motion for new trial; Anna Savior vs. Albert McOall, judgment despite ver dict. 8. S. Johnson vs. Joseph M. John son, rule to show cause why satisfied judgment shouldn't be restored to orig inal place; Markel vs. John M. John son, restore judgment; B. Handler vs. Martha Howard, rule to show why bond shouldn't be reduced to double actual value of goods; We-Truet-U Outfitting Company vs. Nina D. Williams, to open judgment; State vs. D. B. Kieffer, ap peal from summary conviction; State vs. Amadro F. Branca, to show why costs shouldn't be stricken off; State vs. William D. Roesch, to strike off or rescind maintenance order; Calvin A. Eckard for C. L. Brinser's use vs. Ignace Hrestak. open judgment; Elea nor Brown vs. Liewis and Lbut said the accident occurred when he was stealing a ride from Mobile to New Orleans. The lone bandit who committed the robbery, secured ss<> and a small quantity of jewelry. He entered the car by an end door while the train was thirty miies from New Orleans, shot Mare'ey, covered E. P. Barry, the express messenger with a pistol, and bound him. The robber then dynamit ed the safe. He jumped at a crossing on the outskirts of the city. Lester had $44 in his pockets when arrested. CHURCH TO BURN MORTGAGE Services at St. Augustine's P. E. to Celebrate Expunging Debt St. Augustine's Protectant Episco pal church, Thirteenth and Herr streets, will celebrate the termination of its extra effort to free itself of a burden of a two thousand dollar mortgage with special services begin ning at 4 o'clock to-morrow afternoon. Cauon Bratermahl, of the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, of Washing ton, D. C., will preach at the after noon service assisted by the Rev. Le roy P. Baker, of Selinsgrove, and other clergymen and laymen of the city. Bishop James Henry Darlington, of the Harrisburg diocese, will have charge of the service Monday evening, at 7.30 when the formal burning of the mortgage will take place. LOST FIGHT, STOLE BROTHER Villa Retaliates Aft. Losing Recently to Obregon's Forces By Associated Pre»». Irapuate, Mex., April 24.—Alvaro Obregon. Commander-in-chief of the Car ranza army of operations, gave out a statement to-day in which he related that his brother, Francis Obregon, had been taken prisoner by General Villa in retaliation for the defeat recently in flicted upon Villa by the Obregon forces at Celaya. Prancisco is over 60 years of age. He was living in Guavafalejara in an en deavor to restore "his shattered health. Villa removed him to Chihuahua. General Obregon said he believed Villa would order the execution of his brother, if he had not already been killed. Phillies Get Milton Reed Back By Astociated Prett. New York, April 24. —The Brook lyn Federal League club officials an nounced to-day that shortstop Milton Reed had been returned to the Phila delphia National League Club. This action was taken in accordance with the policy adopted by. President Ward, of the Brooklyn Federals, which bars players from the local Federal League club where it is proved that other base ball organizations have a prior right to their services. Purchase Works on Housing Reference works on housing have been purchased by the Harrisburg \Chainber of Commerce for use of its committees on this subject. Other authoritative works on the subject* have also been added to the chamber's library. SUESTO FORCE HUSBAND TO INSURE LIFE FOR $65,000 MEf> ISAOELLE BRULATOUW New York, April 24.—Mrs. Isabella Brulatour. known in society as one of its handsomest matrons, appeared in the Supreme Court here in a novel proceed ing to compel her husband, Jules Brula tour, millionaire film importer, to take out $65,000 worth of life insurance. She wants it so she and her three chil dren may have something to look for ward to later on. The couple have been separated for several years. Brulatour has been dividing his timo between Xew York and Pari*. He has luxurious apartments in New York and Paris. ORDERSITALIANS TO KEEP THEIR NERVES IN ORDER Rome, April 23. 8.20 P. M. via Paris, April 24, 7.4r> A. M.—"Keep your nerves in ordir,' is the advice given to the people of Italy by the "Giornale D'ltalia,' in an editorial, "for what is most needed now is na tional discipline." The paper says that while the gov ernment knows all the elements which have entered into a difficult interna tional situatiou and has received from Parliament full power to act, the country must be allowed to work in peace until the time comes when it is considered possible to reveal what has been done without injuring the super ior interests of the nation. 25 OFSUNKEN BRITISH BOAT E-15 AT CONSTANTINOPLE Constantinople, Via The Hague and London, April 24, 11 A. M.—Six offi cers and nineteen members of the crew of the British submarine E-15 were brought to Constantinople to-day. The officers and three of the wounded rode iu carriages, while the other men walk ed across the Strambol bridge to the War Department with a small escort. The procession was watched by an im mense crowd as the men were "the first British-of-war to reach this city. There was no demonstration, however. Announcement was made last Satur day of the sinking of the E-15 by the Turks in the Dardanelles. It was said that 24 men were saved. BRITISH SUCCESS IS DUE TO TUNNEL ENGINEERS'SPEED London. April 24, 3.55 A. M.—The "Daily Mail's" correspondent in Northern France, in a dispatch describ ing the British attack on hill No. 60, southeast of Ypres, says? "The British success was due largely to the speed of the tunnel engineers, for the explosion of the British mines an ticipated bv only a short time a sim ilar move planned by the German en gineers. Hill Xo. 60 is only 200 yards long. The fighting here has been more terribly concentrated than in any spot in history. The whole hill is mined, trenched, sandbagged and covered. Some of the enemy's trenches are still virtu ally on the hill within twenty yards of the British tranches. The Canadian troops have been spe cially commended by the British com manders for the spee and precision with which they dug themselves in aft er charging. LATE WARM SUMMARY Continued From Flrit Pagt. established in trenches. A German steamer was sunk and two men In a Turkish fort were killed by bombs dropped from the aeroplanes. The sailing vessel Ayasha, manned by Germans who escaped when the famous cruiser Emden was sunk in the Indian Ocean last November, is said to have reached the Arabian harbor of Lidd from Hodeida. The Germans made their way inland and succeeded in reaching the railroad although at tacked by Arabs and suffering severe losses in three days of fighting. A series of German successes along the western front is announced in to day's official report from Berlin. It is said attempts of the allies to recap ture the gTound lost in Belgium have failed and that French and British at tacks broke down under tbe German fire. The statement reports the cap ture of anotner town near Yyres and says that in tbe fighting in this region nearly 2,.V»0 prisoners, 35 pieces of cannon and large amount* of rifles and ammunition were captured. At other points where fighting occurred yester day it is said the Germans either root ed attacking forces or themselves made progress. The French War Office report gives a different version of the situation in Belgium. From this statement it would appear that the German advance had been halted. The allies have recap tured part of the lost ground, it is said, and are well organized and fight ing under good conditions. The advance of the Germans is as cribed by the French War Office to the use of bombs developing a gas which asphyxiated the men in the trenches. So far as indicated by the news from the front, there is no change in the eastern campaign. The freighter Bnth has been sunk in the North sea by a German subma rine. Her crew of 16 was saved. CREWOFTBE SUNKEN EMDEN ESCAPES THE SECOND TIME Berlin, via Wireless to April 23, 8.05 A. M.—The crew of the German warahip Ayasha. composed of men who escaped when the cruiser Emden was sunk by an Australian war ship .in the Indian ocean November 10, have escaped a>gain from allied patrol ships and arrived at the Ara bian harbor of Lidd on March 27. They covered by sea the 300 miles from Hodcida to' Lidd. After reaching the coast the sailora attempted to continue their journey overland but attacked by Arabs, supposedly at the instigation of the English. After three days stubborn fighting the attacks were repulsed and they reached the road to Hodaoivss, where, tho railway was open. The Ger man* suffered heavw losses. The bold exploits of this renuiant of the Einden's crew have constituted one of the most dramatic episodes of the war. The men were members of a landing party which was on Cocos Is land when the battle occurred between the Australian cruiser Sydney, and the Emden in which the German cruiser was sunk. Under the leadership of Lieut. Von Muecke, the landing party comman deered the schooner Ayasha and sailed awav. Since that time there have been many conflicting reports regarding their activities. Manila heard that they had captured a collier on which they had mounted two maxim guns and had been making raids on French commerce. The French ministry of marine announced on December 18, that the auxiliary cruiser, Empress of Japan, had captured the collier with the men on board. A Berlin dispatch on February 5, however, eaid the Ayasha had reached Hodeida, Arabia, where the crew was given an enthusiastic welcome by the Turkish troops. The port referred to in the Berlin dispatch to London, to-day as Lidd may be Jidda on the Red Sea coast of Arabia. The ultimate destination of the escaped prisoners is a matter of speculation. FRIENDSHIP STEAMER NEXT Fire Engine Which Was Damaged In Front St. Subway to Be Motorized The Hope steamer, the first of Har risburg's fire engines to l*e equipped with motor tractors, is expected to be sent back to this city early next week by the Front Drive Motor Company, of Hoboken, X. Y., where the work is being done. A representative of the company was expected to arrive in Harrisburg to-day to receive it. The time limit of ten days, at the end of which the steamer was guaran teed, expires to-day. The Friendship steamer, which was damaged in the Front street subway early in the win ter, will be equipped with a traotor before it is sent back to Harrisburg from the factory of the American La- France Company, in Elmira, X. where it is being repaired. The tractor will either be placed on the steamer there or the steamer will'be sent first to Hoboken. Final arrangements have not been completed and Fire Chief Kindler has not been informed how near the steamer is near completion. TURKS MASSACRE ARMENIANS Twenty-three Men Escaping From Dan ger Tell of the Slaughter By Associated Press. Tiflas. Friday, April 23, via Constan tinople and London, April 24.—A tele gram received here from Dvadin, a town near Bayazid, in Turkish Armenia, dated April 21, relates that twenty three men have arrived there from Arzish-Kaleh and Suokham, near Lake Van, in Turkish Armenia. They bring a recital of the shooting and massa cring hv the police on orders received from the Turkish authorities, of local Armenians. These twenty-three men succeeded iu escaping. The Turks have told the people about the clashes be tween Armenians and Musselmans in Van, and particularly the massacres of Armenians. The Armenians of Arzish-Kaleh and Suckham have been called upon to pro vide supplies and assistance for the great number of refugees it is expected will come from the village of Van. Second Victim of Shooter Dies By Associated Press. Philadelphia, April 24. —iHarry E. Tucker, the city detective who" was shot by Jacob Miller, a youth who at the same time killed James Manoely, another detective, died in a hospital to day after lingering several weeks. The detectives had arrested Miller on the charge of robbery and were taking him to a police station when the pris oner opened fire on both of them. Mil ler escaped but was captured the next day. Scientists Will Take Notice Berlin, April 23.—Professor Geeh ring, of the Physice-Chemical Institute at Karlsruhe, announces that he has a new chemical element which he calls brevium. He states that brevium is radio-active and results from the disintegration of uranium. Oldest Lancaster County Woman Dies Marietta, April 24.—Mrs. Katharine Dunson, 99 years old, the oldest woman in Lancaste'r county, died yesterday from the infirmities of age. Two years ago she lost her home by fire and "since that mishap resided with her daugh ter. Famous Sculptor Dies at 70 Paris, April 24.—Rene De Saint Marceux, the sculptor, died last night at his home in this city at the age of 70 years. Many of his works are fa mous and occupy places of honor in Paris. Will Travel on Mayflower " By Associated Press. Washington, April 24.—When Presi dent Wilson goes to Xew York to re view the Atlantic fleet May 17 and 18 he probably will travel on "the Mayflow er, leaving Washington May 14 or 15. Balnbrldge Woman Found Dead Bainbridge, April 24.—Mrs. Eliza beth Gingrich, 7S years old, was found dead yesterday from a stroke of apo plexy. She was the oldest member of the United Brethren church. Paxtang Lights in Service Without ceremony Faxtang'g new street lighting system—fourteen incan descent lights—was thrown into serv ice this week BRYAN jJUIDS THE PRESS Secretary of State Says Publicity la Es sential to Honeat Administra tion of Government By Associated Press, Baltimore, April 24,—Publicity is as essential to honest admiaistratiou of the government as freedom of speech is to representative government. Secre tary of State Bryan told members of the City Club to-day. The government being the people's business," he said, "it necessarily follows that its opera tions should be at all times open to the public view." ■Governments approach perfection, the Secretary declared, insofar as they are co-operative in proportion as they ad just with justice *the joint burdens which it is necessary to impose and distribute with equity the incidental 'beuelits which come from the disburse ment of the money raised by taxation. Secretary Bryan spoke on "Rules for the New Voter," but he also discussed the duty of every citizen, which, he said, was "to exert himself to the ut most to reform every abuse qt govern ment and to eradicate every evil in government, remembering that abuses and evils are more easily correct in their beginning than when they have become fully established." Secretary Bryan then referred to Lincoln's Gettysburg speech appealing to his countrymen to consecrate them selves to the unhnished task that lay before them that a "government of the people, bv the people and for the people might not perish from the eartli." "That task," said the Secretary in conclusion, "is still unfinished, and it is the duty of every citizen to care fully study the principles and methods of government as they arise and then give his country the benefit of his judg ment and his conscience. To this end he should not only express himself at elections, but faithfully attend pri maries and conventions where candi dates are chosen and policies enunci ated." IRE OUESTIONS FORTEDDY Barnes Lawyrf Takes Advantage of Court Recess By Searching For Quizzing Dope By Associated Press. Syracuse, N. Y., April 24.—Counsel for Mr. Barnes in his suit for alleged . libel against Theodore Roosevelt, took j advantage of the week-end recess of j the Supreme Court to-day to compile i a series of additional questions to put jto the former President when his I cross-examination is resumed on Mon , day. Many of the questions agreed I upon have to do with events leading | to the establishment by the colonel of the Progressive party. William M. Ivins, chief counsel for i Mr. Barnes, said he expected to finish I with Colonel Roosevelt some time 1 Monday. The colonel will then give i additional testimony on redirect ex amination. This may keep him on the stand until Tuesday". The Roosevelt attorneys received information that all members of the Legislature who , voted against the Hughes direct primary bill and other measures cited by Colonel Roosevelt as instances where machine Democrats and machine Republicans combined to defeat legislation he considered good, were to be subpoenaed. By these wit nesses, the plaintiff, it is said, hopes to prove that their action was vol untary and that they were not forced into alliances by party leaders. The lawyers for the defence were prepared to-day to ask Justice An drews for botly executions for wit nesses who have been summoned but who have failed to put in an appear ance. Among them are State Comp troller Travis, former State Senator j William J. Grattan, Luther C. Warner, I F. C. Foster, Roscoe Erwin and F. S. j Breseler. WILSON ISSUES A DENIAL President Hasn't Taken Sides in Riggs National Bank Controversy Washington, April 24.—At the White House to-day a statement was issued by Secretary Tumulty denying reports that President Wilson had ta ken perso.ial charge of the govern ment's side of the controversy between the Riggs National bank and Secretary McAdoo and Comptroller Williams. This was the statement: "There is not a thread of truth in the stories in the morning papers that the President has personally taken over the investigation of the Biggs bank." It was said that the President hnd consulted Attorney General Gregory and Louis D. Brandeis, as special coun sel, to keep himself informed. The bank has brought an injunction suit against Secretary McAdoo and Comp troller Williams, alleging that they con spired to wreck it because of personal animosities for its officers. U. 8. Exports Run Into Millions By Associated Press. Washington, April 24.—American exports of domestic breadstuffs, cotton seed oil food animals, meat and dairy products, cotton and mineral oils in March were valued at $154,159,760 compared with $75,110,556 in the six months a year ago, according to De partment of Commerce to-day. The total value of exports of these products for the nine months ending with March was $956,623,393 against $891,497,912 for the like period last year. Federal Reserve Shows Large Increase By Associated Press. Washington, April 24. —Reserve de posits of the Federal Reserve Banks in creased more than $3,000,000 during the past week, according to a state ment of the banks conditions April 23, issued to-day 'by the Federal Reserve Board. New World Altitude Record By Associated Press. Pensacola, Fla., April 24.—A new world's record altitude of 10,000 feet in a hydroaeroplane was made here late yesterday by Lieutenant P. N. L. Bellinger at the naval aeronautical sta tion. Chicago, April 24. —Close: Chiaeog, April 24.—Close: Wheat —May, 164'/,; July, 139%. Corn—'May, 78%; July, 81%, Oats—•'Mat 57%; July, 56i/ 2 . Pork —July, 18.17; tSept, 18.60. Lard—July, 10.42; Sept., 10.70. Ribs—July, 10.57; Sept., 10.85. CURED BY A LAUGH It Was a Hearty One and Better Than a Dose of Medicine. A STORY ABOUT A LECTURE. It Ought to Have Btan Funny and Sesmad at the Tima to Ba Funny and Yat Aftarward There Waa Qrava Doubt aa to Whether It Waa ar Not. "What"* your book?" Squire Dumont asked of a neighbor as they sat wait ing their turn in the Tillage barber ■hop. " 'lnnocents Abroad,' by Mark Twain," was the reply. "1 Just got It out of the library. I suppose you would call It pretty light reading." "You needn't be a hit ashamed of It, Mr. Pink ham," said the squire, heart ily. "it's a book that has done a lot of good. It has made thousands of peo ple laugh, and a good laugh Is often better than a dose of medicine." "I've seen that proved," said Mr. Plnkham. "I went to hear Mark Twain lecture ©ntts," he added, with a reminiscent chuckle. "You don't say so!" exclaimed the squire. "I never had that pleaaure myself, it must have been a great treat." "Yes, it wns. I'm a great admirer of Mark Twain and have been for years. I had always wanted to see and hear him, and when I saw In a Port- paper that he was to lecture tliera on a certain evening it came over ma that that was my time to go and hear him. "I had J list lost a lawsuit, and my wife wns away from home with a sick sister. I wns pretty blue and lone some and felt the need of being cheer ed up. "I took the afternoon train, calculat ing to get to my cousin Jim's in time for supper and then go to tha lecture. But, as luck would have It, a freight train had been wre >d near Bruns wick, and'we never got into Portland until 8 o'clock. However, I hurried to the hall and paid my way kn and got a good seat right up in frogt. I had missed some of the lecture, but I was thankful to get what wns left. It wasn't so much what he said, though, as the way be said it that tickled me. I laughed more that night than I bad for a year. "Well, after the lecture wns over I made my way to my cousin Jim's. He has means, and they live in some style, but I got a cordial welcome. Clara, his wife, told me that I couldn't seo Jim that night. He was poorly, and she was a good deal worried about him. But while we were talking he found out I was there and sent for me to come to his room. I never saw any one more in the dumps than he was. I guess he complained steady for as much as half an hour. He was a very sick man. He didn't relish his victuals, and what he did eat distressed him. Night after night he got hardly a wink of aleep, and nothing interested him any more. Moreover, what the doctor gave him didn't do a mite of good. It was pitiful to hear him go on. Finally ho asked me how I happened to be in Portland. J 4 'So you came up to hear Mark Twain?' says he. and his face bright ened up. 'Did you like him?' says he, and I said, 'Of course I did.' " 'Now tell me honestly,' says he, 'was that lecture as funny as you ex pected?' " 'Well,' says I, 'lt was funny, of course, and I guess when I have hart a chance to think It over It will seem funnier. But there were parts of It that didn't seem so dreadful funny.' "Then all at once Jim fell back In his chair and began to choke, and for a minute I was scared. As soon as he could speak he says: 'That wasn't Mark Twain that you heard. He lectured here last week. What you heard,' says he, 'was a lecture on the poetry of Robert Browning by Professor'— I forget now what Jim called his name. Then he took to laughing again, and I thought he'd never stop. "After that Jim wanted to know how the people near me took my laughing so much at the lecture, and when I re membered that some of 'em did scowl a little he went off again. "Well, naturally I felt a little cheap, but afterward I wasn't sorry. The next morning Jim said he had had his % first good night's rest for a month, and he really mnde out quite a breakfast. About a fortnight after that I got a letter from him siving that he was feeling quite like himself again. "I don't know as my visit had a thing to do with it, but I've always felt as If it dicT In that case it goes to prove what you said, squire, that a good laugh is sometimes better than a doso of medicine."—Youth's Companion. Hard to Keep Up. "Fond of reading, are you?" "Yes." "Read all Shakespeare's works, I suppose?" "I don't know whether I've read his latest or not. So much stuff coming out these days!"— Louisville Courier- Journal. Keeping Wifey Dressed. "Money isn't everything." "No; there are ways of getting along. Take my case, for instance. I married Into a family where there is a dress maker. You have no idea what a help that is."—Kansas City Journal. It's a good thing to know when to stop, but quite another thing to take advantage of your knowledge.— New York Times. Women Arehltects. "I wonder why there ar» so few wo men architects?" "Perhaps women are afraid they might be called designing creatures." Becoming Faint. Cook—The tea Is quite exhausted, ma'am. Mistress—l noticed that tt seemed very weak the last time.—Bon ton Glob*.