6 star-3nh*p*n&*ttt (£MsNuA«t ,n liTS) IHK STAR FmNTTNQ COMPANY. ' Star-lndapn-ulant Building, ■ Mil South Third Btro«t. Harrtebar*. St E»an4n« Eaoapt Sunday Officin t Dirteturt: rnumm F. u u Kchk. Preaidant. hi. W, WadLowu. VtC« President ***• «*■■» IS. K Nitiu. Secretary and Trtiurer, W M W WALLOW»B. ted WAHNKR, V. HUMHIL Buoiics. Ji., Buuntii Manager Editor. AU communications should be addroaied to Sta*lnu«pejservience to a political machine that has stood : the things that he now opposes. SOLDIERS IN POSTMEN'S CLOTHES siot only are Great Britain's Postoffice employes iring a greater burden than the men in any other >artiuent of the country's civil service, because ced to handle a vast volume of letters and using to and from the troops in France and in ler places, but they have now been deprived of ir uniforms that newly recruited soldiers may be rbed in them to go to the front. Through the sacrifice by the Postoffice of its sup of uniforms, the War Office has been able to the a hundred thousand soldiers, most of whom 1 now on the field. These troops, in the uniforms postmen, must be objects of much curiosity to ir khaki-attired predecessors at the front, and ibtless are not able to escape good-natured quips led forth by their appearance. t seems strange that men should go forth to war the uniforms of peaceful postmen. Such an sngement is, of course, merely temporary and intended to continue after sufficient supplies khaki uniforms are on hand, but it is a little fh on the postmen. The wockers of the busy rtoffice Department are made by the war to toil igually hard, and now their clothes are taken HARRISBURG STAR-INDEPENDENT. WEDNESDAY EVENING, MARCH 10, 1913. from them and put on soldiers that the soldiers may be made presentable for slaughter. Of course, if the womeu in England continue to take upon themselves men's responsibilities so far as to invade the mail service, postmen's uniforms, as heretofore designed, will no longer be service able and may in that event just as well be worn by the soldiers as not be worn at all. ENGLISH AS SHE IS WROTE Reasonable persons would hardly search the col umns of a country town newspaper for models of good English. If they were to do so they would be wasting their time. It is not essential that the contents of such papers be perfect in unity, mass and coherence. The issues as they appear are cir culated by the publishers with entire complacency so long as they are presentable typographically. Readers cannot expect to find in the news items phrases fashioned like those of a Ruskin or au Emerson, considering the low subscription rates. It is not altogether unreasonable, however, to look for fairly good grammar and somewhat re ! specfable rhetoric even in the smallest and most i insignificant papers. An "awkwardly constructed j sentence may not only lack clearness as to its in- I tended meaning, but may convey a meaning entirely different from that intended. The following am biguous sentence is takeu carefully, word for word, from a rather well-printed paper in a nearby county: Ezra G and Johu H have again bought some cow's since they are rid of the foot and mouth disease. If Ezra and John really were themselves afflicted and refrained from buying cows until they were rid of the disease, then the grammar is all right, but such a condition of affairs is so peculiar that it seems improbable. The natural assumption is that the cows had the disease and that tiie rural corre spondent had difficulty in expressing himself prop erly. From the same newspaper many examples of remarkable sentence structure might be taken, which are not exactly misleading but which never theless grate on sensitive persons. One more gem will suffice. It is the introductory sentence to a startling account ot' a secret marriage and jolts along as follows: Frank B——, one of our jovial and well-liked citizens, known by the synonym of 'Butch,' he being a butcher by j trade, but at the present time conducting a fruit store on ! North Prussian street, succeeded in keeping his wedding ] a long secret it becoming only generally known the past j few days. It is only to be regretted that a newspaper which shows so little respect for the English language does I not have a contemporary in its community which ! so-called funny column and makes a practice of seeking diligently and then exposing the opposition's grammatical and rhetorical errors. Such an arrangement would be the meaus of show ing the offending paper the error of its ways and perhaps of reforming it. Make the boys behave on that Southern trip, Governor! The fuller skirts of women ought to help the "buy-a-bale of-cotton" movement. Pennsylvania has thrived wonderfully well considering it has such a weak Constitution. • If you haven't a theory to advance as to the origin of j the word "jitney" you are as much behind the times as if ; you don't know how to fox trot. "—— Dr. I.eland O. Howard, Chief of the United States • Bureau of Entomology, has promised to give his brains to j Cornell. We doubt whether our universities need brains as much as some of our other institutions. TOLD IN LIGHTER VEIN FOR A TIME Even a cheap skate may cut quite a lot of ice.—C'in- j cinnati Times-Star. EXPERIENCED "I hear Mamie trowed you down." "Aw, she needn't brag. I been trowed down by better girls dan Mamie."—Life. EXPRESSING IT POLITELY The French are the most polite people in the world, j They don't call a man a "bore." They say he is a i "raconteur," and let it go at that. —Louisville Courier- j Journal. WOULDN'T MATCH \Sife (with newspaper)—" Here's some one advertising: to sell a green baby carriage for only $6." Husband—"But our baby is pink."—New York Even ing Post. THEY ARE ON TO HIM Jim—"What kind of a fellow is Briggst" Jack —"Oh, he's the sort that leaves his car of the church and goes across the street to shoot a game of pool!" Yale Record. OUTFIGURED "What's the professor of mathematics making the fuss aboutf" "He was just short-changed by a banana-peddler."— Philadelphia Bulletin. CLEVER ACTOR Patience —"So she married an actorf" Patrice —"Oh, yes." "Was he a good actorf" "Oh, yes; he acted as if he loved her."—Yonkers States man. JUST THE SAME "Every time I read Shakespeare I discover some idea that hadn't struck me before." "Yes," replied the man who yawns; "but isn't it pretty much the same way with an insurance policyf"—Washing ton Star. SAME AS WAR "So you're not to be married t" "No. He says he has changed his mind." \ "What's his excuse?" "The war." "And you have no witnesses nor love lettersf" "No." "Well, isn't war just what they say it ist"—Buffalo Courier. [Tongue-End Topics] Largest Typewriter in the World One of the exhibits at the Manama- Pacific Exposition which can hardly es cape observation, is a typewriter of gi gantic proportions, (tavs the "Scien tific American.'' Lest their product be overlooked among the myriads ot type writers that are to be put on exhibition, an enterprising company has batik a ma chine built 1,72S tinier larger than a standard typewriter. It is not merely a colossal image, but a working model that actually writes; and during the Exposition it will type news bulletins on a sheet of paper 9 feet wide, in let ters 3 inches high aud 2 inches apart. ! The monster machine will be operated i by electrical connection with a type | writer of standard dimensions. For in stance, on depressing a key of the smaJl machine the corresponding key of the large machine will respond. A lever is use 1 ,! for the return of the carriage and for line spacing or rotating the cylinder. The big machine weigh* 14 tons as against oO pounds, which is the weight of a standard machine. It is 21 feet wide, in action, by 15 feet high, aud j requires for its operation a room meas uriug 25 by 30 by 25 feet. The plat en. 9 feet 6 inches long by 21 inches iu diameter, weighs 1,200 pounds, and the carriage 3,500 pounds. Each key cup, which is the part of a typewriter that ' is pressed by the lingers, is 7 inches in | diameter, while each type bar is 52 I inches long and weighs as much as a I standaiM typewriter. This mammoth • typewriter has been under construction for about two years and cost |IOO,- 000. * o * A Modest Hero All prizes for brevity, and a few more besides for modesty, go to a Ba den peasant who for some time has been i with the forces in Flanders. His wife has just made public the following la conic letters from liitn. The first reads: "Dear Wife: I am still alive, aud j have received your bundle. If the boy | is bad, spank him. Greetings, Adolph.'' j Shortly afterward cnine a second: "'Dear Bertha: I am still alive, . which surprises me very much. If the ; boy still is naughty, spank him again, j Greetings, Adolph.'' The third communication was in the j form of a photograph of Adolph's ! troop, showing him decorated with the 1 | Iron Cross. No mention, however, was | made of the medal, and the picture | merely bore out on the reverse si'ie this brief note: "Dear Bertha: 1 was wounded but | am well again, and to morrow I go at it again. If the boy is naughty, box his ears. Greetings, Adolph." Perplexed, the wife wrote her hus j band demanding to 'know how he had | received the Iron Cross, and received the following illuminating reply: "It was very simple about the Iron i Cross. The major ordered me to stand j still, and the sergewnt-major pinned it j on. Greetings, Adolph.'' * ft ° Counterfeit Money in Mexico In an effort to check the wide spread activities of counterfeiters, the Mexican authorities are making a srpe j cial round-up of these criminals who, i when caught in the act of making the j bogus money, are to be shot, without I trial. Coinage has long since disap ! peared, even the despised copper centa | vos having been hidden away for safe j keeping, i>o that paper cents, diimes and | twenty-cent pieces, together with dollar j and half-dollar bills are the exchange j units of everv-day transactions. As j this money is made on the ordinary printing-press, the temptation to make | bogus money has been too great for ; many to withstand. It is estimated that I millions of dollars in counterfeit paper are now floating about the republic. i * May Melt the Statues Swiss newspaper reports of a meet j ing of iron manufacturers in Duseeldorf I February 4 say that a Dr. Shuster stat led to the meeting that the lack of j inetal was becoming a grave question in : Germany and suggested, the reports j add, that it might be easily solved if Jail the bronze monuments raised to the ! honor of the Emperor and other mem bers of, the royal family were melted j down. * t * Redemptions Dies Bravely The Rev. Frere Jean Baptiste Jean marie, who died of wounds received in the battle of Vrigny November 12, was the thirty-first of the Redemption ist Brothers killed in this war. "I am not afraid to die; I shall i only regret not to have been aible to I say mass'' were his last woi\le. CYCLE COfIIPM'S growth West End Industry, Established Seveni j Tears Ago, Makes Rapid Strides in the Business World The West End Electric and Cycle Company was first established seven years ago in a small frame building size 10 by 12 feet and one story high, on Susquehanna avenue, near Peffer street. Five years ago the business wat movC.l to the present location at the N. | E. corner of Green and Maclay streets, at which place in 1913 the second story was added, now being used as a machine shop. . Connected therewith is the only concrete motorcycle garage in this section of the State. The West End Electric and Cycle Company now gives employment to ten persons and at times as many as twen ty people are employed. H. Z. Rose and G. F. Hewitt are the owners o>f this business and are the local dealers of the Indian motorcycle. They are I exhibiting at the Chestnut street show this week. They invite full examina tion and careful survey. The new mod el is a brilliant example of engineering I skill and mechanical progress.—Adv. • You Are Invited to Attend Our FORMAL SPRING OPENING Thursday, Friday and Saturday March 11th, 12th and 13th Never have we welcomed you to a more extensive exposition of spring mer chandise. Every department is teeming with bright, new merchandise for spring and summer. The styles are just right, the qualities are the best, and the prices within the range for which this store is noted. See the Newest Here in Millinery Hosiery Dress Silks Laces Muslin Underwear Ladies' and Art Needlework Children's Gloves Embroideries Ribbed Underwea r children's Wear Ribbons Dress Fabrics Infants' Wear Neckwear Wash Fabrics Men's Wear and Hundreds of Other Dress and Household Accessories fc to ?5c Department Store WHERE EVERY DAY IS BARGAIN DAY 215 Market St. Opp. Court House POPE MOTORCYCLE AGENCY Chester R. Smith, Local Dealer, Fully' Equipped for Repairs and Carries Rig Line of Sundries The Pope Manufacturing Company j completed its great plant at Westfield, j Mass., last vear The location is in I I I " 1 . - FINK'S BOCK OUT TO-MORROW 4 FOR THE FIRST A true harbinger of Spring, a genuine Bohemian Bock Beer. Carefully brewed. Properly aged, and with all the aroma of the real Imported Bohemian Bock. ASK FOR IT On Sale at All First Class Hotels, Cafes and Clubs FINK BREWING COMPANY HARRISBURG, U. S. A. / I I ithe beautiful Wo onoco valley, sur-1 j rounded by hills nnd mountains, 14 7 j | feet above ser. level and close to the ] center of production for the large va- J rietv of r w niatiVial required in the! j production of up-to-date motorcycles, j The engineers of this company stand upon their simplicity of design, beauty of lines and lin ; sh, power and dura bility. Chester B. Smith, local dealer, has j j fully equipped his present location, I j 1815 North Third street, for all re-1 1 | ! pairs and carries motorcycle ami bicycle i sundries. In the early part of 1911 I lie secured the Pope agency and feels | that he may be safely classed at the head of niotorcyeledom. He is exhibit ing at the Motorcycle and Bicycle j Show on Chestnut street this week. Adv.* Senator McConneli Recovers Senator McConneli, of Shainokin, i who had been seriously ill with ton j silitis, is again in his seat.