6
Qllje
\ ( Jshtat'hihcd in 1876)
Published b'
TMK STAR PRINTING COMPANY,
/" Star-lnd«p*-idant Building,
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W*. W. WALLOW**, _ ..
Vte« Prtaidant. M *
W*. K METERS,
Secretary and Treaiarer. Wii. W WALLOWE*.
W* H WARN**. V. HUMMEL BIROHAUS. JR.,
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TELEPHONES! BELL
Prtwat* Branoh Exohans*. ... No. 3250
CUMBERLAND VALLEY
Branoh Eiotianga. ■ No. 145.24S
Wednesday, November 4, 1914.
NOVEMBER
Sun. Mou. Tues. Wed. Thur. Fri. Sat.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30
MOON'S PHASES—
Full Moon, '2nd; Last Quarter, 10th;
New Moon, 17th; First Quarter, tilth.
WEATHER FORECASTS
Harrisburg and vicinity: Fair and
\ ttn somewhat warmer to-night. Thursday
KiD£j J / fair and colder.
ITwy'-. Kastern Pennsylvania: Fair to-night
and Thursday, colder Thursday. Fresh
—«■* northwest winds.
YESTERDAY'S TEMPERATURE IN HARRISBURG
Highest, 04; lowest, 41; 8 a. m., 42; 8 p. in., 59.
CJt— ■ ■
THE ELECTION IN PENNSYLVANIA
The election of Dr. Martin G. Brumbaugh, as
Governor of Pennsylvania, and of Boies Penrose,
as United States Senator, were by such decisive
votes as to leave no doubt about who are the
choice of the people of this state for these two
leading offices.
The election of Penrose was hardly a surprise
in view'of the split opposition to his candidacy.
The only surprising thing about it, perhaps, was
the magnitude of his pluralities.
Dr. Brumbaugh's election over Mr. McCormick,
while not unlooked for in many quarters, was more
in doubt until the Philadelphia returns began to
come in, showing a reunited Republican party in
that city and indicating the same condition through
out the state.
Mr. McCormick's losing fight was not without a
beneficial result, for the people ot' the Common
wealth. It brought forcefully to light some weak
nesses in the present government of the state and
caused Dr. Brumbaugh, as a candidate, to search
out the weak spots and to pledge himself to reforms
where reforms are necessary.
Dr. Brumbaugh admitted during his campaign
that, there are some places to be shored up and he
pledged himself to do the shoring. Last night,
after his election was proved beyond question, the
Governor-elect reiterated his campaign pledges and
declared he will fulfill every promise he made to
the people. One of these was that he will be an
independent Governor and will not permit the polit
ical bosses to dictate the course of his official ac
tion. We believe it is his houest intention to
endeavor to carry out this and his other pledges,
but to do so he must have the moral support of
Ihe people he serves.
Mr. McCormink made a plucky fight for what he
believes to be right, and there must be some satis
faction to him in the fact that he has demonstrated
to the party in control of the state that there is an
aggressive force in Pennsylvania keeping a check
on the course of government in a way that cannot
help but have a wholesome influence on the affairs
of the commonwealth as a whole.
CHOOSING THE BEST JOKE
This may not be a good time to discuss .jokes,
in view of the effect of yesterday's election on
many persons who have little disposition to be
inurry to-day. Yet minds need diversion when they
become too seriously inclined, and the best thing
for those who are on the losing side to do, now that
the suspense is over and they cannot alter the elec
tion any way, is just to think of something funny
and amuse themselves out of their disappointment.
So it may not be altogether inopportune to dwell
briefly on the subject of jokes right now.
A somewhat interesting symposium has been con
ducted by a Philadelphia Sunday newspaper which
is in the habit of doing such things. It brings to
gether what prominent American and British hu
morists, a dozen or so of them, consider the best
.jokes they have ever heard. One humorist who was
asked to tell the best joke he knew, replied some
what disparagingly as follows:
"The practice of Sunday newspapers asking for
the best short story, the best poem or the best joke
in the world, is the third best joke in the world.
The second best is the seriousness with which the
public takes such symposia. 'The best is the serious-
HARRISBURG STAR-INDEPENDENT, WEDNESDAY EVENING, NOVEMBER 4, 1914.
ness with which the people who are asked for judg
ment, take it."
Perhaps the symposium on best jokes was itself
a joke, but it was not such a bad one at that. Of
course it is difficult if not impossible for an ordi
nary person to remember just what was the fun
niest joke of the thousands he has heard, and
even should he hit on a good selection, the pick
might not appeal to anybody else. The atmosphere
surrounding a good joke at tfye time it is told has
a great deal to do with the joke's impression on
its hearers, and identically the same joke in cold
type might not coax a smile except from the most
easily tickled. When recognized humorists give
their choice of best witticisms, however, the ones
they pick should be accorded our respect. Men who
are wise to the inner workings of wit ought to
know something about the quality of the finished
products.
That which makes us laugh when a person slips
on a banana peel, or does something else equally
serious which appeals unaccountably to our sense
of humor, also prompts us to take pleasure in a
joke of the kind contributed to the symposium by
Montague Glass. It tells how, after a boyhood
friend of a railroad magnate had looked up the
great man after many years' separation, and told
him a pathetic story of bankruptcy, death in the
family and illness, concluding with a plea for assist
ance, the magnate touched a bell and said in a
sobbing voice to the colored man who responded:
"John, throw this poor fellow downstairs. He's
breaking my heart."
That joke would not appeal to everybody. Some
persons prefer the pathetic kind, such as the one
contributed by another humorist, telling of a poor
homeless negro who, when he heard the factory
whistles blow at noon sighed to himself:
"Dar she go. Dinner time for some folks, but
jes' twelve o'clock for me."
Only one of the jokesmiths participating in the
symposium gave a witticism from a standard
writer. The joke was but one word, a word from
Charles Lamb. When his doctor advised him to
go for a walk every morning on an empty stomach
he asked vacantly: "Whose?"
Of similar brevity is another witticism sent in,
telling of the society man who, when he was asked
whether his wife was entertaining that summer, an
swered: "Not very."
V\e know some good jokes, but shall not attempt
to supplement the selections of the famous humor
ists. who are themselves in the business and ought
to know what is good and what is not. We might
remark, however, that the poorest joke we can con
ceive of is for an otherwise sensible and consider
ate person to approach his friends on the losing side
after a contest of ballots and say joyfully:
"Well, how does tire election suit you?"
The "woolly lamb" retained its fleece.
Did anything get away from the Republicans yesterday!
Champ Clark can say "Welcome to our city!" to "Uncle
Joe" Cannon.
The C oronious Leader led to some effect for his party
in Dauphin county.
It was a game fight, anyway, that the little All-Ameri
can quarterback put up.
Welcome to Harrisburg on the third Tuesday of next
January, Governor Brumbaugh!
Gifford Pinchot can now resume his residence in cither
New York, Washington or Connecticut.
That fight between the Yares and Penrose in Philadel
phia was largely on paper. It didn't go as far as the polls.
If it is any consolation for the Colonel, it may be all
right to whisper to him that Son-in-law "Nick" Longworth
seems to have been returned to Congress.
Don't get excited. That rumbling you hear from the
direction of Oyster Bay is merely the Colonel expressing
his opinion of the result in Pennsylvania.
Connie Mack, if the sporting editors quote him correctly,
has made it known that Bender, Plank, Coombs and Oldring
will not wear uniforms of the Athletics next season. If
this be true, isn't the Philadelphia manager taking rather
radical action? These four players were skillful enough
to do a great deal toward landing the Athletics in first
place in the American League, even though their team did
not win the world's series from Boston. In other words
these four players were among the best available American
League material in the past season, and it seems unwise
to get rid c* them unless, perhaps, the astute manager knows
just where he can go to sign better men to take their
places. Before the fans will endorse Connie Mack's alleged
determination to get rid of this quartette of stars, —even
though they may now be classed in the veteran ranks,
they will want to be shown that he has something better
np his sleeve.
TOLD IN LIGHTER VEIN
RESTAURANT ENGLISH
"Slip me a brace of crackles," ordered the chestv-looking
young man with a bored air as he perofced on the first stool
in the lunchroom.
"A what?" asked the waitress as she placed a glass of
water before him.
"Adam and Eve flat on their backs! A pair of sunny
siders!" said the young man, in exasperated tone.
"You got me, kid," returned the waitress. "Watcha j
want?"
"Eggs up," said the young man. 'E-g-g.g ß ,' the kind!
that come before the hen or after, I never knew which."
"Why didn't you say so in the first place?" asked the
waitress. "You'd a had 'em by this time."
"Well, of all things—" said the young man.
"I knew what he was drlvin' at all the time," began the
waitress as the young man departed. "But he's one of
them fellers that thinks he can get by with anything. He
don't know that they're using plain English now in restau
rants."—Kansas City Times.
BLI GO INS' METHOD
"The doctor's advice to smoke only one cigar after each
meal is going to be the death of Bliggins."
"What's the matter with him?"
"He's trying to cat six or seven meals a day."—Wash
ington Star.
| Tongue-End Top ics]
~ *
His Guide
The following was found among the
papers of Thomas Van Alstyne, an elec
trical engineer, who died recently in
Hanley, Canada:
"To respect my country, my profes
sion and myself. To be honest and fair
with my fellow-men, as I expect them
to be honest and square with me. To be
a loyal citizen of the United States of
America. To speak of it with praise,
and act always as a trustworthy cus
todian of its good name. To be a man
whose name carries weight wherever it
goes. To base my expectations of re
ward on a solid foundation of service
rendered. To be willing to pay the
price of success in honest effort. To
look upon my work as an opportunity
to be seized with joy and made the
most of, and not as painful drudgery
to be reluctantly endured. To remember
that success lies within myself—my
own brain, my own ambition, my own
courage and determination. To expect
difficulties and force my way through
them. To turn hard experience into
capital for future use. To believe in
my proposition, heart and soul. To
carry an air of optimism in the pres
ence of those I meet. To dispel ill tem
per with cheerfulness, kill doubts with
a strong conviction, and re'duce active
friction with an agreeable personality.
To make a study of my business. To
know my profession in every detail. To
mix brains with mv efforts, and use
system and method in my work. To find
time to do every needful thing by never
letting time find me doing nothing. To
hoard days as a miser hoards dollars.
To make every hour bring me divi
dends, increased knowledge, or health
ful recreation. To keep my future un
mortgaged by debts. To save as well
as earn. To cut out expensive amuse
ments until I can afford them. To steer
clear of dissipation and guard my
health of body and peace of mind as a
precious stock in trade. Finally, to take
a good grip on the joys of life. To play
the game like a man. To fight against
nothing so hard as my own weakness,
and endeavor to grow in strength, a
gentleman, a Christian. So X may be
courteous to men, faithful to friends,
true to God, a fragrance in the path I
tread."
» s, *
First "Stop, Look, Listen" Warning
At a hearing before the Puiblie Serv
ice Commission regarding the elimina
tion of some grade crossings in a near
!by ■county, one of the complaints was
that tihere were so many obstacles near
a certain crossing that the approach of
a train could not be seen 'by persons
driving towards the crossing.
Then they should obey the injunc
tion to stop, look and listen," said
Commissioner Penny-packer, former
Judge and Governor. Although every
railroad company in the State puts up
a sign at its crossings enjoining people
to stop, look and listen, when they draw
nigh, yet there are many who disregard
the injunction. The question has often
[ been asked of where the phrase of stop,
| look and listen as applied to railroad
j crossings originated. An old Harridburg
| attorney says it originated in the Dau
| phin court room, and was first applied
i'by the late Judge .John J. Pearson. It
i was in a suit for damages against a
| railroad company many years ago, the
j plaintiff having brought suit because
I of an injury received at a grade cross
ing. Ju'dge Pearson was trying the
case, and the evidence was such t'hat it
did not appear that the plaintiff had
observed proper caution in approaching
! the crossiug. In his charge Judge Pear
son laid down the rule that a man ap
preaching a railroad erasing regarded
as dangerous must "stop, look and
listen" in order to ascertain whether
it was safe for him to proceed. This
ruling has never been safely refuted
and it is to-day regarded as governing
a case where the injunction has not been
observed.
Trick With Old Time Ballots
"The big ballot we voted yester
day," said the old-time politician, "re
minded me that the little game we ward
politicians used to play on the night be
fore election died away when the vest
pocket ballot was dispensed with. In
the old days each party printed its
own ballets and the ward men distribut
ed them. They weTe narrow—about as
wide as a newspaper column, and were
easily folded and placed under t)he fronit
doors at the voters' homes, ami that
distribution was our work. We would
start out after midnight ami put a small
envelope containing the ballot under
, each door. But 'before we did that we
would use a long pin in removing from
beneath the door the envelopes placed
there by the ballot distributors of the
other parties. Many a time I finished
up wit'li more of the enemy's ballots in
my pockets than I had distributed OJ
my own, for there were always inde
pendent candidates. And we always
burned the other fellow's ballots when
we got back to the ward house. Now
adays the county prints the ballots and
they can only toe obtained at the polls."
HOW TO CURE
STOMACH TROUBLES
Excessive acid In the stomach, or
hyperacidity, as It is called. Is primar
ily responsible for nearly all cases of
indigestion, dyspepsia, gastritis, and
flatulence, and quite frequently leads
to stomach ulcers. The successful
treatment for prevention as well as
cure of such cases depends entirely on
neutralizing the excess acid, stopping
the food fermentation, and healing the
inflamed mucous membrane that lines
the stomach. For this purposa special
ists are now advising the use of pure
blsurated magnesia, which has recently
been found to be unequalled in the
treatment of even the severest cases.
A teaspoonful in a little water imme
diately after eating stops all pain al
most instantly, neutralizes the acid, and
soothes the inflamed stomach and If
regularly used will quickly remove the
cause of the trouble and effect com
plete relief. adv.
Boys' Balmacaans, s 7= $ lO
Greater Values Than Ever.
We've had a taste of cold weather and thoughtful
parents are buying their boys these popular Balina
caans to protect them against the 4 'icy blasts" that are "jW® y '
on the way. These loose, swagger coats are made of \ \
cravenetted rough Scotehy tweeds in beautiful colorings—with '•"^jVrfT_
full skirt, convertible collars and raglan shoulders. They've
made a "decided hit" with the boys. The values are greater than
ever before at P7.50 ind p 10.00. Other stores would ask ''
Junior Balmacaans, for the "little fellows" from 2 to 4 years
of age—exceptional values at 85.00 and $6.50. T/7r*
"GLOBE-SPECIAL" QO I®^^®
Two-Pants Suits at . . »)=
Mothers know 1 hat for wear and service "GLOBE SPECIAL"
TWO PANTS SUITS" for boys are unequalled. The extra pair 'S
of "knickers" gives the suit a "double life"—made expressly
for the boys who are hard on clothes. All beautiful models—
made of gray, tan and brown mixed' cassimeres and cheviots.
Pants are lined throughout, and seams durably taped—they're fulfilßßr
made to WEAR. Others ask $6.50 for such qualities—our price
is $5.00.
RIGHT-POSTURE—Boys' Health Suits, $7.50 and $lO
To help build better, stronger men is the mission of "RIGHT-POSTURE" SUITS. There's a
patented device in the back of the coat that simply won't let your boy become "stooped." The
American Posture a renowned body of physicians, educators and orthopaedic surgeons
has endorsed "RIGHT-POSTURE" THE BOYS' HEALTH SUITS. Snappy models to select from
in pin stripes, checks, plaids and serges. Extraordinary values at $7.50 and SIO.OO. j
Boys' Pajamas K & S Tapeless Boys' Hats
In the one-piece style—the Blouse Waists • < Smart, stylish shapes in I
most comfortable and prac- Of madras, chambray and
tical garment made to sleep pongee as the name very desirable coloring and
in All colors implies—no strings or tape combination for the larger
in. aii coiors. (o i )in j or break. fellows
SI.OO SI.OO $1 and $1.50
THE GLOBE
CROWD HID
AFTER IDIOT
Thousands Thronged
Third Street to Read
the Star-Independent
Election News
HAPPY G. O. P.
MEN PARADED
Brumbaugh Seemed a Favorite From
the Start When the Returns Began
to Be Displayed on Screens in the
Central Part of the City
Interest in the election news last
night was greater, perhaps, than ever
before in this city and the Star-Inde
pendent screen on which the returns
were displayed was the particular cen
ter that attracted many thousands of
people who remained until past mid
night. Announcement had been made
that "all of the election news" would
be thrown on the screen as quickly as
received, and that meant that nothing
would be held back. It had the effect
of packing into Third street from Mar
ket to Blackberry street with a crowd
that was variously estimated at from
2,000 to 3,000 people. So dense was
the throng that it was almost impos
sible to worm one's way through, and
telegraph messengers and newsgather
ers were obliged to make a circuitous
route and go through Blackberry street
An Easy Way to
Increase Weight
Good Advice for Thin Folks
The trouble with most thin folks who
wish to gain weight is that they insist
on drugging their stomach or stuffing it
with greasy foods; rubbing on useless
'•"flesh creams,' or following some fool
ish physical culture stunt, while the real
cause of thinness goes untouched. Von
cannot get fat until your digestive tract
assimilates the food you eat.
Thanks to a remarkable new scientific
discovery, it is now possible to com
bine into simple form the very elements
needed by the digestive organs to help
them convert food into rich, t'at-laden
blood. This master-stroke of modern
chemistry is called Sargol and has been
termed the greatest of flesh-builders.
Sargol aims through its re-generative,
reconstructive powers to coax the stom
ach and intestines to literally soak up
the fattening elements of your food and
pass them into the blood, where they
are carried to every starved, broken
down cell and tissue of your body. You
can readily picture the result when this
amazing transformation has taken place
and you notice how your cheeks till out,
hollows about your neck, shoulders and
bust disappear and you take on from
10 to 20 pounds of solid, healthy flesh.
Sargol is absolutely harmless, inex
pensive, efficient. Geo. A. Gorgas and
other leading druggists of Harrisburg
and vicinity have it and will refund
your money if you are not satisfied, as
per the guarantee found in every pack
age.
Caution:—While Sargol lias given
excellent results in overcoming nervous
dyspepsia and general stomach troubles
it should not be taken by those who do
not wish to gain ten pounds or more.
Adv.
in order to get to the Star-Independent
office.
As promised, all the news was placed
on the big screen, ami the vast crowd
•was kept interested from the time the
first returns was sent out. Cheers and
comment were continual. It was evident
Brumbaugh was the favorite among the
rooters. It was not long before the as
semblage had some idea of the result
of the election, so quickly and accurate
ly had the news been assembled by
messenger, telegraph and telephone and
made public. In the intervals, while
plates for the figures were being pre
pared, moving pictures of an interest
ing character were thrown on the
screen, much to the pleasure of the
gathering. When the crowd Anally dis
persed it knew it had gotten the most
complete news report ever displayed on
a screen in Harrisburg.
The crowds on the streets began to
gather early in the evening, and by 9
o'clock it was almost impossible to get
through Third or Market streets in the
business centers of the city. There
was no disorder, for it was a good-na
tured crowd and it pushed and jostled
without the least ■display of ill-feeling.
At the Parties' Headquarters
On Market street a screen had been
placed on the Commonwealth hotel op
posite Republican county headquarters,
and from time to time, the news was
flashed to a great crowd that so jammed
the street that the trolley cars had to
run with great caution. This screen
displayed pictures of prominent Repub
lican and Democratic local leaders.
In Market Square the "Patriot"
had put up a screen 011 which returns
were thrown, and in the Square was
stationed a banil that furnished a de
lightful concert to a large crowd up to
midnight. The band and the crowd
disappeared about midnight. At Third
and Walnut streets was another screen
where pictures and news were shown.
In contrast to the lively scenes at
the Count,) Republican Headquarters
was the quietude and subdued air at
the Democratic State Hoadquarters.
Vance C. MeCormick, State Chairman
Morris, Fourth Assistant Postmaster
General James T. Blakslee and several
lesser lights had assembled in a room
on the fourth story, and there received
the returns sent them by a special wire.
Dbwn in the headquarters workroom
there were a few attaches gathered, but
shortly after midnight the lights were
put out, and Chairman Morris and his
friends haid things to themselves in the
upper room.
Republicans Parade
It was late last night before the Har
risburg Republicans realized the extont
of the victory of their party in Penn
sylvania, and it seemed to daze them.
The swinging back to place of the G.
O. P. was so great that they could
hardly realize it. However, as return
after return was received at county
headquarters in the Wyeth building
they woke up and began to take notice,
and with the waking up began prep
arations for a walkaround, the bamds
having been engaged previously and
held in readiness to head a procession
which it was agreed should be held
over tlie returns from Philadelphia.
County Chairman Horner, City Chair
man 0\ es, State Committeeman Frank
A. Smith and other leaders were all
gathered in the headquarters rooms
along with scores of the workers, and
as the returns came in their delight
and enthusiasm knew no bounds. Short
ly after midnight, when it was an
nounced that the Democratic State
Headquarters, where State Chairman
Morris had been receiving news, had
given up the tight and conceded the
election of Penrose and Brumbaugh,
the bands were called out, a procession
was formed and a real okd-time walk
around was indulged in. Escorting the
two chairmen the procession, lit up by
red fire and things, marched about the
city, serenading various candidates, the
newspaper offices and the executive
mansion.
The cheering and shouting were in
cessant from the time the procession
started until it finally broke up about
3 o'clock, the marchers being worn out
ami hoarse with shouting. It was a
typical election night scene ami was
witnessed by the thousands on the
streets.
WEST FAIRVIEW
Personal Happenings and Events of In
terest to Readers
Special Correspondence.
West. Fairview, Nov. 4.—Miss Er
nrina Kslinger called on Miiss May
Langletz on Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Roberts, of Dun
cannon; iMliss Cledith Konn, of Damp
Hill; Wilson Riffert and Mrs. Ida Low
ery, of Harrisburg, were guests of Miss
Florence May.
MTS, K. Shur and MTS. H. Kim
inel, of l»emoyne; Mrs. Soudcrs, of
Harrisburg, and Paul (Bender, wife and
daughter, of Knola, visited iMrs. Annie
Bender.
H. B, McAfee visited friends in Lan
caster Sunday.
Miss Helen Hunter, of Harrisburg,
was the guest ot' M'iss <lOl die Jaimison.
'Mliss Lottie IJ'hriKh visited in Middle
town on Sunday.
Mrs. Harry Spangler and son, Ar
tlhur, of Camp Hill, was tho guests of
Mrs. Elizabeth Jackson.
'Mrs. Amanda Erb arnd lelhlldren, The
odore, Murray and Evelyn, of Harris
burg, visited Mrs. 'Margaret Murray.
Mrs. Lizzie Cossgreve. of Dunkirk,
X. Y., and Mr. and Mrs. .John Cash
miro, of Harrisburg, visited friends here
Sunday.
The St.oug'h prayer meetings at the
residences of Edward Kutz and Mr.
Houck were well attended.
ff. W. Neidig is beautifying his store
property by painting it.
WILLIAMSTOWN
Mrs. John Uhler Dies, Victim of Blood
Poisoning
Special Correspondence.
Williamstown, Nov. 4. —Wendell
Blanning, of Harrisburg, is visiting his
parents. , «.
Mrs. John TJhlcr died at the Potts
ville hospital from blood poisoning.
S. S. Straub and family spent Sun
day with relatives in Berrysburg.
Weldon Watkins, George Bond and
Bryant Ralph were week-enid guests of
friends at Millersburg and attended the
High school masquerade Friday even
ing.
Mrs. William Retalick was a Satur
day visitor in Elizabcthville.
. John Nicewender and Charles Klei
benstein, of Tremont, were entertained
by town friends Sunday.
Many of the borough's young folks
attended the masquerade dance at Ly
kens Friday evening which was hold
by the sophomore class of the High
school.
Thomas Bond, Jr., was the guest of
friends at Runbury over Sunday.
The local football team defeated li
kens here Saturday by the score of 13
to 0.
RECIPE TO SfOP DANDRUFF
This Mixture Stops Dan
druff and Falling Hair and Aids
Its Growth
To a half pint of water add:
Bay Rum, 1 oz.
Barbo Compound a small box
Glycerine, oz.
These are all simple ingredients that
you can buy from any druggist at very
little cost, and mix them yourself. Ap
ply to tho scalp once a day for two
weeks, then oncn every other week
until all the mixture is used. A half
pint should be enough to rid the head
of dandruff and kill the dandruff germs
It stops the hair from falling out, re
lieves itching and scalp diseases.
Although it is not a dye, it acts upor
the hair roots and will darker
streaked, faded, gray hair in ten or fit'
teen days. It promotes the. growth 0
the hair and makes harsh hair soft, aoc
glossy. Adv.