6 Qllje \ ( Jshtat'hihcd in 1876) Published b' TMK STAR PRINTING COMPANY, /" Star-lnd«p*-idant Building, 1140-U South Third Btr*«t, HirrWwt, ha »vry Kvnlng E»o»pt Sunday OHictrti Dirtcttrt. •SMAWK MIT.M, Jobn l . l . Kdilk> Praai4*nt. W*. W. WALLOW**, _ .. Vte« Prtaidant. M * W*. K METERS, Secretary and Treaiarer. Wii. W WALLOWE*. W* H WARN**. V. HUMMEL BIROHAUS. JR., Business Manager. Editor, All communications should be addressed to STAR INDEPENDENT, Business. Editorial, Job Printing or Circulation Department, •Wording to tbe subject matter Bqtared at tbe Post Office in Harris burg as second-class matter. Btajamin A Kentnor Company, New York and Chicago Representative*. Hew York Office, Brunswick Building, 225 Fifth Avenue. Chicago Office, People's Gas Building, Mlrbigan Avenue. Delivered by carriers at • cents a week. Mailed to subscriber; far Three Dollars • year in advance THE STAR-INDEPENDENT The paper with the largest Home Circulation in flarrisburg and •Mrby towns. Circulation Examlneu by THE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICAN ADVERTISERS. TELEPHONES! BELL Prtwat* Branoh Exohans*. ... No. 3250 CUMBERLAND VALLEY Branoh Eiotianga. ■ No. 145.24S Wednesday, November 4, 1914. NOVEMBER Sun. Mou. Tues. Wed. Thur. Fri. Sat. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 MOON'S PHASES— Full Moon, '2nd; Last Quarter, 10th; New Moon, 17th; First Quarter, tilth. WEATHER FORECASTS Harrisburg and vicinity: Fair and \ ttn somewhat warmer to-night. Thursday KiD£j J / fair and colder. ITwy'-. Kastern Pennsylvania: Fair to-night and Thursday, colder Thursday. Fresh —«■* northwest winds. YESTERDAY'S TEMPERATURE IN HARRISBURG Highest, 04; lowest, 41; 8 a. m., 42; 8 p. in., 59. CJt— ■ ■ THE ELECTION IN PENNSYLVANIA The election of Dr. Martin G. Brumbaugh, as Governor of Pennsylvania, and of Boies Penrose, as United States Senator, were by such decisive votes as to leave no doubt about who are the choice of the people of this state for these two leading offices. The election of Penrose was hardly a surprise in view'of the split opposition to his candidacy. The only surprising thing about it, perhaps, was the magnitude of his pluralities. Dr. Brumbaugh's election over Mr. McCormick, while not unlooked for in many quarters, was more in doubt until the Philadelphia returns began to come in, showing a reunited Republican party in that city and indicating the same condition through out the state. Mr. McCormick's losing fight was not without a beneficial result, for the people ot' the Common wealth. It brought forcefully to light some weak nesses in the present government of the state and caused Dr. Brumbaugh, as a candidate, to search out the weak spots and to pledge himself to reforms where reforms are necessary. Dr. Brumbaugh admitted during his campaign that, there are some places to be shored up and he pledged himself to do the shoring. Last night, after his election was proved beyond question, the Governor-elect reiterated his campaign pledges and declared he will fulfill every promise he made to the people. One of these was that he will be an independent Governor and will not permit the polit ical bosses to dictate the course of his official ac tion. We believe it is his houest intention to endeavor to carry out this and his other pledges, but to do so he must have the moral support of Ihe people he serves. Mr. McCormink made a plucky fight for what he believes to be right, and there must be some satis faction to him in the fact that he has demonstrated to the party in control of the state that there is an aggressive force in Pennsylvania keeping a check on the course of government in a way that cannot help but have a wholesome influence on the affairs of the commonwealth as a whole. CHOOSING THE BEST JOKE This may not be a good time to discuss .jokes, in view of the effect of yesterday's election on many persons who have little disposition to be inurry to-day. Yet minds need diversion when they become too seriously inclined, and the best thing for those who are on the losing side to do, now that the suspense is over and they cannot alter the elec tion any way, is just to think of something funny and amuse themselves out of their disappointment. So it may not be altogether inopportune to dwell briefly on the subject of jokes right now. A somewhat interesting symposium has been con ducted by a Philadelphia Sunday newspaper which is in the habit of doing such things. It brings to gether what prominent American and British hu morists, a dozen or so of them, consider the best .jokes they have ever heard. One humorist who was asked to tell the best joke he knew, replied some what disparagingly as follows: "The practice of Sunday newspapers asking for the best short story, the best poem or the best joke in the world, is the third best joke in the world. The second best is the seriousness with which the public takes such symposia. 'The best is the serious- HARRISBURG STAR-INDEPENDENT, WEDNESDAY EVENING, NOVEMBER 4, 1914. ness with which the people who are asked for judg ment, take it." Perhaps the symposium on best jokes was itself a joke, but it was not such a bad one at that. Of course it is difficult if not impossible for an ordi nary person to remember just what was the fun niest joke of the thousands he has heard, and even should he hit on a good selection, the pick might not appeal to anybody else. The atmosphere surrounding a good joke at tfye time it is told has a great deal to do with the joke's impression on its hearers, and identically the same joke in cold type might not coax a smile except from the most easily tickled. When recognized humorists give their choice of best witticisms, however, the ones they pick should be accorded our respect. Men who are wise to the inner workings of wit ought to know something about the quality of the finished products. That which makes us laugh when a person slips on a banana peel, or does something else equally serious which appeals unaccountably to our sense of humor, also prompts us to take pleasure in a joke of the kind contributed to the symposium by Montague Glass. It tells how, after a boyhood friend of a railroad magnate had looked up the great man after many years' separation, and told him a pathetic story of bankruptcy, death in the family and illness, concluding with a plea for assist ance, the magnate touched a bell and said in a sobbing voice to the colored man who responded: "John, throw this poor fellow downstairs. He's breaking my heart." That joke would not appeal to everybody. Some persons prefer the pathetic kind, such as the one contributed by another humorist, telling of a poor homeless negro who, when he heard the factory whistles blow at noon sighed to himself: "Dar she go. Dinner time for some folks, but jes' twelve o'clock for me." Only one of the jokesmiths participating in the symposium gave a witticism from a standard writer. The joke was but one word, a word from Charles Lamb. When his doctor advised him to go for a walk every morning on an empty stomach he asked vacantly: "Whose?" Of similar brevity is another witticism sent in, telling of the society man who, when he was asked whether his wife was entertaining that summer, an swered: "Not very." V\e know some good jokes, but shall not attempt to supplement the selections of the famous humor ists. who are themselves in the business and ought to know what is good and what is not. We might remark, however, that the poorest joke we can con ceive of is for an otherwise sensible and consider ate person to approach his friends on the losing side after a contest of ballots and say joyfully: "Well, how does tire election suit you?" The "woolly lamb" retained its fleece. Did anything get away from the Republicans yesterday! Champ Clark can say "Welcome to our city!" to "Uncle Joe" Cannon. The C oronious Leader led to some effect for his party in Dauphin county. It was a game fight, anyway, that the little All-Ameri can quarterback put up. Welcome to Harrisburg on the third Tuesday of next January, Governor Brumbaugh! Gifford Pinchot can now resume his residence in cither New York, Washington or Connecticut. That fight between the Yares and Penrose in Philadel phia was largely on paper. It didn't go as far as the polls. If it is any consolation for the Colonel, it may be all right to whisper to him that Son-in-law "Nick" Longworth seems to have been returned to Congress. Don't get excited. That rumbling you hear from the direction of Oyster Bay is merely the Colonel expressing his opinion of the result in Pennsylvania. Connie Mack, if the sporting editors quote him correctly, has made it known that Bender, Plank, Coombs and Oldring will not wear uniforms of the Athletics next season. If this be true, isn't the Philadelphia manager taking rather radical action? These four players were skillful enough to do a great deal toward landing the Athletics in first place in the American League, even though their team did not win the world's series from Boston. In other words these four players were among the best available American League material in the past season, and it seems unwise to get rid c* them unless, perhaps, the astute manager knows just where he can go to sign better men to take their places. Before the fans will endorse Connie Mack's alleged determination to get rid of this quartette of stars, —even though they may now be classed in the veteran ranks, they will want to be shown that he has something better np his sleeve. TOLD IN LIGHTER VEIN RESTAURANT ENGLISH "Slip me a brace of crackles," ordered the chestv-looking young man with a bored air as he perofced on the first stool in the lunchroom. "A what?" asked the waitress as she placed a glass of water before him. "Adam and Eve flat on their backs! A pair of sunny siders!" said the young man, in exasperated tone. "You got me, kid," returned the waitress. "Watcha j want?" "Eggs up," said the young man. 'E-g-g.g ß ,' the kind! that come before the hen or after, I never knew which." "Why didn't you say so in the first place?" asked the waitress. "You'd a had 'em by this time." "Well, of all things—" said the young man. "I knew what he was drlvin' at all the time," began the waitress as the young man departed. "But he's one of them fellers that thinks he can get by with anything. He don't know that they're using plain English now in restau rants."—Kansas City Times. BLI GO INS' METHOD "The doctor's advice to smoke only one cigar after each meal is going to be the death of Bliggins." "What's the matter with him?" "He's trying to cat six or seven meals a day."—Wash ington Star. | Tongue-End Top ics] ~ * His Guide The following was found among the papers of Thomas Van Alstyne, an elec trical engineer, who died recently in Hanley, Canada: "To respect my country, my profes sion and myself. To be honest and fair with my fellow-men, as I expect them to be honest and square with me. To be a loyal citizen of the United States of America. To speak of it with praise, and act always as a trustworthy cus todian of its good name. To be a man whose name carries weight wherever it goes. To base my expectations of re ward on a solid foundation of service rendered. To be willing to pay the price of success in honest effort. To look upon my work as an opportunity to be seized with joy and made the most of, and not as painful drudgery to be reluctantly endured. To remember that success lies within myself—my own brain, my own ambition, my own courage and determination. To expect difficulties and force my way through them. To turn hard experience into capital for future use. To believe in my proposition, heart and soul. To carry an air of optimism in the pres ence of those I meet. To dispel ill tem per with cheerfulness, kill doubts with a strong conviction, and re'duce active friction with an agreeable personality. To make a study of my business. To know my profession in every detail. To mix brains with mv efforts, and use system and method in my work. To find time to do every needful thing by never letting time find me doing nothing. To hoard days as a miser hoards dollars. To make every hour bring me divi dends, increased knowledge, or health ful recreation. To keep my future un mortgaged by debts. To save as well as earn. To cut out expensive amuse ments until I can afford them. To steer clear of dissipation and guard my health of body and peace of mind as a precious stock in trade. Finally, to take a good grip on the joys of life. To play the game like a man. To fight against nothing so hard as my own weakness, and endeavor to grow in strength, a gentleman, a Christian. So X may be courteous to men, faithful to friends, true to God, a fragrance in the path I tread." » s, * First "Stop, Look, Listen" Warning At a hearing before the Puiblie Serv ice Commission regarding the elimina tion of some grade crossings in a near !by ■county, one of the complaints was that tihere were so many obstacles near a certain crossing that the approach of a train could not be seen 'by persons driving towards the crossing. Then they should obey the injunc tion to stop, look and listen," said Commissioner Penny-packer, former Judge and Governor. Although every railroad company in the State puts up a sign at its crossings enjoining people to stop, look and listen, when they draw nigh, yet there are many who disregard the injunction. The question has often [ been asked of where the phrase of stop, | look and listen as applied to railroad j crossings originated. An old Harridburg | attorney says it originated in the Dau | phin court room, and was first applied i'by the late Judge .John J. Pearson. It i was in a suit for damages against a | railroad company many years ago, the j plaintiff having brought suit because I of an injury received at a grade cross ing. Ju'dge Pearson was trying the case, and the evidence was such t'hat it did not appear that the plaintiff had observed proper caution in approaching ! the crossiug. In his charge Judge Pear son laid down the rule that a man ap preaching a railroad erasing regarded as dangerous must "stop, look and listen" in order to ascertain whether it was safe for him to proceed. This ruling has never been safely refuted and it is to-day regarded as governing a case where the injunction has not been observed. Trick With Old Time Ballots "The big ballot we voted yester day," said the old-time politician, "re minded me that the little game we ward politicians used to play on the night be fore election died away when the vest pocket ballot was dispensed with. In the old days each party printed its own ballets and the ward men distribut ed them. They weTe narrow—about as wide as a newspaper column, and were easily folded and placed under t)he fronit doors at the voters' homes, ami that distribution was our work. We would start out after midnight ami put a small envelope containing the ballot under , each door. But 'before we did that we would use a long pin in removing from beneath the door the envelopes placed there by the ballot distributors of the other parties. Many a time I finished up wit'li more of the enemy's ballots in my pockets than I had distributed OJ my own, for there were always inde pendent candidates. And we always burned the other fellow's ballots when we got back to the ward house. Now adays the county prints the ballots and they can only toe obtained at the polls." HOW TO CURE STOMACH TROUBLES Excessive acid In the stomach, or hyperacidity, as It is called. Is primar ily responsible for nearly all cases of indigestion, dyspepsia, gastritis, and flatulence, and quite frequently leads to stomach ulcers. The successful treatment for prevention as well as cure of such cases depends entirely on neutralizing the excess acid, stopping the food fermentation, and healing the inflamed mucous membrane that lines the stomach. For this purposa special ists are now advising the use of pure blsurated magnesia, which has recently been found to be unequalled in the treatment of even the severest cases. A teaspoonful in a little water imme diately after eating stops all pain al most instantly, neutralizes the acid, and soothes the inflamed stomach and If regularly used will quickly remove the cause of the trouble and effect com plete relief. adv. Boys' Balmacaans, s 7= $ lO Greater Values Than Ever. We've had a taste of cold weather and thoughtful parents are buying their boys these popular Balina caans to protect them against the 4 'icy blasts" that are "jW® y ' on the way. These loose, swagger coats are made of \ \ cravenetted rough Scotehy tweeds in beautiful colorings—with '•"^jVrfT_ full skirt, convertible collars and raglan shoulders. They've made a "decided hit" with the boys. The values are greater than ever before at P7.50 ind p 10.00. Other stores would ask '' Junior Balmacaans, for the "little fellows" from 2 to 4 years of age—exceptional values at 85.00 and $6.50. T/7r* "GLOBE-SPECIAL" QO I®^^® Two-Pants Suits at . . »)= Mothers know 1 hat for wear and service "GLOBE SPECIAL" TWO PANTS SUITS" for boys are unequalled. The extra pair 'S of "knickers" gives the suit a "double life"—made expressly for the boys who are hard on clothes. All beautiful models— made of gray, tan and brown mixed' cassimeres and cheviots. Pants are lined throughout, and seams durably taped—they're fulfilßßr made to WEAR. Others ask $6.50 for such qualities—our price is $5.00. RIGHT-POSTURE—Boys' Health Suits, $7.50 and $lO To help build better, stronger men is the mission of "RIGHT-POSTURE" SUITS. There's a patented device in the back of the coat that simply won't let your boy become "stooped." The American Posture a renowned body of physicians, educators and orthopaedic surgeons has endorsed "RIGHT-POSTURE" THE BOYS' HEALTH SUITS. Snappy models to select from in pin stripes, checks, plaids and serges. Extraordinary values at $7.50 and SIO.OO. j Boys' Pajamas K & S Tapeless Boys' Hats In the one-piece style—the Blouse Waists • < Smart, stylish shapes in I most comfortable and prac- Of madras, chambray and tical garment made to sleep pongee as the name very desirable coloring and in All colors implies—no strings or tape combination for the larger in. aii coiors. (o i )in j or break. fellows SI.OO SI.OO $1 and $1.50 THE GLOBE CROWD HID AFTER IDIOT Thousands Thronged Third Street to Read the Star-Independent Election News HAPPY G. O. P. MEN PARADED Brumbaugh Seemed a Favorite From the Start When the Returns Began to Be Displayed on Screens in the Central Part of the City Interest in the election news last night was greater, perhaps, than ever before in this city and the Star-Inde pendent screen on which the returns were displayed was the particular cen ter that attracted many thousands of people who remained until past mid night. Announcement had been made that "all of the election news" would be thrown on the screen as quickly as received, and that meant that nothing would be held back. It had the effect of packing into Third street from Mar ket to Blackberry street with a crowd that was variously estimated at from 2,000 to 3,000 people. So dense was the throng that it was almost impos sible to worm one's way through, and telegraph messengers and newsgather ers were obliged to make a circuitous route and go through Blackberry street An Easy Way to Increase Weight Good Advice for Thin Folks The trouble with most thin folks who wish to gain weight is that they insist on drugging their stomach or stuffing it with greasy foods; rubbing on useless '•"flesh creams,' or following some fool ish physical culture stunt, while the real cause of thinness goes untouched. Von cannot get fat until your digestive tract assimilates the food you eat. Thanks to a remarkable new scientific discovery, it is now possible to com bine into simple form the very elements needed by the digestive organs to help them convert food into rich, t'at-laden blood. This master-stroke of modern chemistry is called Sargol and has been termed the greatest of flesh-builders. Sargol aims through its re-generative, reconstructive powers to coax the stom ach and intestines to literally soak up the fattening elements of your food and pass them into the blood, where they are carried to every starved, broken down cell and tissue of your body. You can readily picture the result when this amazing transformation has taken place and you notice how your cheeks till out, hollows about your neck, shoulders and bust disappear and you take on from 10 to 20 pounds of solid, healthy flesh. Sargol is absolutely harmless, inex pensive, efficient. Geo. A. Gorgas and other leading druggists of Harrisburg and vicinity have it and will refund your money if you are not satisfied, as per the guarantee found in every pack age. Caution:—While Sargol lias given excellent results in overcoming nervous dyspepsia and general stomach troubles it should not be taken by those who do not wish to gain ten pounds or more. Adv. in order to get to the Star-Independent office. As promised, all the news was placed on the big screen, ami the vast crowd •was kept interested from the time the first returns was sent out. Cheers and comment were continual. It was evident Brumbaugh was the favorite among the rooters. It was not long before the as semblage had some idea of the result of the election, so quickly and accurate ly had the news been assembled by messenger, telegraph and telephone and made public. In the intervals, while plates for the figures were being pre pared, moving pictures of an interest ing character were thrown on the screen, much to the pleasure of the gathering. When the crowd Anally dis persed it knew it had gotten the most complete news report ever displayed on a screen in Harrisburg. The crowds on the streets began to gather early in the evening, and by 9 o'clock it was almost impossible to get through Third or Market streets in the business centers of the city. There was no disorder, for it was a good-na tured crowd and it pushed and jostled without the least ■display of ill-feeling. At the Parties' Headquarters On Market street a screen had been placed on the Commonwealth hotel op posite Republican county headquarters, and from time to time, the news was flashed to a great crowd that so jammed the street that the trolley cars had to run with great caution. This screen displayed pictures of prominent Repub lican and Democratic local leaders. In Market Square the "Patriot" had put up a screen 011 which returns were thrown, and in the Square was stationed a banil that furnished a de lightful concert to a large crowd up to midnight. The band and the crowd disappeared about midnight. At Third and Walnut streets was another screen where pictures and news were shown. In contrast to the lively scenes at the Count,) Republican Headquarters was the quietude and subdued air at the Democratic State Hoadquarters. Vance C. MeCormick, State Chairman Morris, Fourth Assistant Postmaster General James T. Blakslee and several lesser lights had assembled in a room on the fourth story, and there received the returns sent them by a special wire. Dbwn in the headquarters workroom there were a few attaches gathered, but shortly after midnight the lights were put out, and Chairman Morris and his friends haid things to themselves in the upper room. Republicans Parade It was late last night before the Har risburg Republicans realized the extont of the victory of their party in Penn sylvania, and it seemed to daze them. The swinging back to place of the G. O. P. was so great that they could hardly realize it. However, as return after return was received at county headquarters in the Wyeth building they woke up and began to take notice, and with the waking up began prep arations for a walkaround, the bamds having been engaged previously and held in readiness to head a procession which it was agreed should be held over tlie returns from Philadelphia. County Chairman Horner, City Chair man 0\ es, State Committeeman Frank A. Smith and other leaders were all gathered in the headquarters rooms along with scores of the workers, and as the returns came in their delight and enthusiasm knew no bounds. Short ly after midnight, when it was an nounced that the Democratic State Headquarters, where State Chairman Morris had been receiving news, had given up the tight and conceded the election of Penrose and Brumbaugh, the bands were called out, a procession was formed and a real okd-time walk around was indulged in. Escorting the two chairmen the procession, lit up by red fire and things, marched about the city, serenading various candidates, the newspaper offices and the executive mansion. The cheering and shouting were in cessant from the time the procession started until it finally broke up about 3 o'clock, the marchers being worn out ami hoarse with shouting. It was a typical election night scene ami was witnessed by the thousands on the streets. WEST FAIRVIEW Personal Happenings and Events of In terest to Readers Special Correspondence. West. Fairview, Nov. 4.—Miss Er nrina Kslinger called on Miiss May Langletz on Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Roberts, of Dun cannon; iMliss Cledith Konn, of Damp Hill; Wilson Riffert and Mrs. Ida Low ery, of Harrisburg, were guests of Miss Florence May. MTS, K. Shur and MTS. H. Kim inel, of l»emoyne; Mrs. Soudcrs, of Harrisburg, and Paul (Bender, wife and daughter, of Knola, visited iMrs. Annie Bender. H. B, McAfee visited friends in Lan caster Sunday. Miss Helen Hunter, of Harrisburg, was the guest ot' M'iss