THE TINA COUNTY AGITATOR
N PUBLISHED MAT virrimEBDAII mouznito RI
P. C. 'V r:
iEnilS
•,
OF SURMA LOMELI' Ili AMIN!.
.$2,013,
u tdcription, (per year)
RATES OE ADVERTISING.
T jsr.sor Munoz( on MS, IL= 34treas.
1 In, I 3'415 . 1
, illns °Aloe I 1
$l,OOl $2.00 I $2,641 $5,001 $l,OO I sl2'oo
MILS
.1 Squares,— 2,00 8,00 4,00
1 ,ht , Lii
- n-z - . - --.
.
c;? special Notices 16 canto per line; z Editorialbr
, t‘i '2O rents per tine. . ! .
Aniieut advection:lg Kure be paid for in advance, -
4i-Justice Blanks, Constable Blanks, Dee „Judi/.
, t.t Notes, Marriage Certificates, &c.,on ban 1
-1
121,USIN-E.SS CARDS
GEO. W. MERRICK,
ATTORNEY and COUNSELOR at LAW.
Office in Smith and Bowen'a Block, scion hall
from A gitatbr Office up stairs, [second floor.)
Wellsboro Jan. 4, 1811-Iy.
Jno. 1. Mitchell, .
Attorney and Counselor at Law, Claim, and In
, urance Agent. Office over Kress's D rug Store,
Wellsboro, Pa. Jan.], 1871—y
William A—Stone, -
Attorney and Counselor at Lard, first door above
Converse .t Osgood's store, on Main street.
WeUsher°, January 1, 1871 y
Seeley, Coates & Co.
'..`; KERS, -Knoxville, Tioga, Cottnty, Pa.:—
ite;eive money on deposit, discount notes,
Indsoll drafts on New York City. Collect
tons promptly made.—Jan 1, 1871-y
gottGAN SEELEY-090 0013 .
DtVID COATS,
.11 , ;E: dRANDALL, } Knoxville,
0
Jno. W. Adams,
Attorney and Counselor at Law, Mansfield, 'T ioga
,-,iinty, Pa. Collections promptly atttinded
t Jan. I, 1871—y
Wilson Sz . Niles
Incys and Counselors at Law. Will attend
promptly to business entrusted to their care in
tic counties of Tioga and Potter. Office on
:he Avenue. Jan. 1, 1871 y
• F.ltin.9ol .B. NnEs.
Jelin W. -Guernsey,
A Etorcoy and Counselor at Law. All buSiness
erdrosted to him will be promptly attenddd to.
otEcb 2d door south of Hazlett's Hotel, Tioga,
Tioga County, Pa.—Jan. 1, 1871. .
Win. B. Smith,
Pension, Bounty and Insurance Agent. Coin
!nucleations scut to the above address will re.
•sire prompt attention. Terms moderate,
Knoxville, Pa.—Jan, 1, 1371.
Seymour & Horton,
,Attorney; and Counselors at law, Tioga Pa.
AU business entrusted ft their care Will receive
prompt attention,
C. 11. S. grArourt
Jan I. IS7I y
WV: 11. AIIMSTRONG
A.rmstrong &, Linn,
-I.I"I I ORNEYS - AT-L'AW,
\V[LLIAMSPORT, PENN'A
muE 1371-y
W. D. Terbell & Co.,
'•Vtialesalo Druggists, and dealers in Wall Paper,
kerosene Lamps, Window Glass, Perfumerx,
Paints, Oils, Se., kt c.—Cornitig, N.Y. Jan. 1 '7 1..
1). Bacon, M. D.,
Ph ) .li,iali and Burgeon,lst door east of Laugher
13aehe---Main Street. Will attend promptly to
uncoils. Welle_ o lro.—Jan. 1, 1871.
A." M. lllglilinly M. H. ) _
ticteoeopathiet, nt his Residen a cn the
A veolo.--Tan. 1, 1871.
Creorge Wagner,
Shop first door north of Roberts & Bail
, y',4 Haidwore Store. Cutting, Fitting and Re-
Airing done promptly and woll.—Jan. 1,1871,
Smith's Hotel,
1,5g.t, Pa., E. M. Smith, Proprietor. How.° in
god condition to aceomModate the traveling
public in a superior manner.—Jan. 1, IS7I.
Farmers' Hotel.
B. MONROE, Proprietor. This house, formerly
..;ccupicd by E. Fellows, is conducted on tem
pcmce principles. Every accommodation
fur man and beast. Charges reasonable.
JSnuary 1,1371
Union Hotel.
vCm. B. Van Horn, ProVrietor, Wellsboro, Pa.
Thi3 house 1, pleasantly located, an'd has all
the conveniences for man and beast. Charges
moderate,—Jan 1, 1871-Iy.
New Toliacco Store !
THE sab , criber has fitted up the Store first
door ea:4 Thomas Harden's dry goods store,
a the totinufarture and sale of
CIGARS, (all grades), Fancy and Common
`' If )11: ING
,TOB ACC o,Michiga' n Fine Cut
CITE WING, and all kinds of
TbBACCO, PIPES, and thechoi
cest Brand of CIGARS.
- Th Call and sec) for yonr'selves.
JOHN W. PURSEL.
\Volizburo, Jan. 1, 1871-1.1.
HOWARD SANITARY - AID AS-
SOCIATION,
•r tl., R, iwt.ind Cure of the Erringand thifortunliitc,
n Pc inciples of Christun Philanthropy.
ON TILE ERRORS OP YOETII,and thel Fol
•IV 4 6( .{re. In relation to 11111CRIAGIE and SOCIAL EYII
IL
;Ith S Lit.try aid for the afflicted. sent free. in ecitled
addre•oi, HOWARD ASSOCIATICN, , •
ir Box P Philadelphia, 1
1 ).
1
TitIGA lIRUG STORE T
•
/ 'BORDEN keeps ennkantly on
/P hand • Pure Drugs and Medicines,
Chetmenl9, Paints and Oils, Lamps,
s.tationery, Yankee Notions &c.
PrlgSCri.linlONC C ‘ilErri,LT COMPOUNDED.
H H, BORDEN.
Jan I, 1571.-ly
WELLSBORO AND MANSFELD
STAGE LINE. '
Tl([ undersigned , undersigned, proprsetor of
'merd" •". thii lino takes this methcd of in
t,ranng tee pahlie that the above Stage runs
i thy~nnd,ty•Lteepted,) between the two pla.
'e. .1$ I.'ll Jws •
IVdi,b,ra at m lad rirriveg at
oqfiel i ,it 10 30 a m
I•.'acr, %in:field , at 2 30 . p!'m , and arrivee at
=il•born at p Fare K 2 : ).
It❑ I, IS7I--tf IV. B. V- AN HORN,/
New Music Store.
NOW opened in Smith S: Bowen's block,
and floor, a amain roam where till be kept
~LoLiiion, and for gala, •
Steinway and other Pianos,
C.l,met Organs, und a choice selection of Shoet
/1 ' 1 •1c. New music received every month.—
Piann and Organ, and in Singing
will be given. Opportunity for practice afforded
thoie'whc, tn.ty degile it 11. W. TODD.
15-3rn0.., -
Adininistrator's _Notice.
LETTERS OF ADMINISTRATION on the
estate of J. li . Whiting,' do-ceased, hito of
'ultiran township, having been granted to the
° " , r B igned, all those indebted to or having
claims against said estate, will call and settle
%,th NATHAN S. WHITING,
Z . : 3 llivati, March 29, 1871 Bw 4 Admin'r.
N DIVORCE —To --
Margaret A. Hyde : Yon
I aro hereby notified that Franklin A. Hyde
~4 3a 9plied to the Court of Common Pleas of
` l "ga county for a divorce from tho' bonds of
tai trimony. and that said Court had appointed
Monday, tho 29th dayof May, 1871 , for the
Tarin g of said applicant in the premises; on
th ithoccatilen you can attend if you think pro
ler, April 1 , ,1871 4ir E t i A.F1E311,13h11.
- 12,00 I 18,00
4.,00 I 60,00 I iool
oal
J. C. IiORTON
SAMUEL Lirts,
...-----___
.
...._. ..,
.----__ .
1
CAI --
: 1_ ,
,
MEI
VOL.. XVIII. l'
THE OLD
"PENNSYLVANIA, HOUSE",
LATELY briown : aittbicTiiiend Hous
tit and, fora time 0 0.euDie& ItY, Boll
e,
EFi day,.ltitit 'men th'oronithlyrAtted, repair
ed and' pened by
DANIEL MONROE,
who will be happy to accommodate the old
friends o f the honse at very reasonable rates.
Jan 1,1971 y DANIEL MONROE.
Tioga Marble Works.
/11HE undersigned is now prepared to exe
1, ontesll , orders for Tomb Stones and Mows
moots Of -)- - - - -
ITALIAN OR RUTLAND MARBLE,
of tho latest style and approved workmanship
and with dispatch.
se" keeps constantly on hand both kinds of
Marble and will be able to suit all who may fa.
vor him with their orders, on as reasonableterms
as can.he obtaineskiu.the country.
• —•-• FRANS ADAMS.
Tiogn,Jan.l,lB7l—tf.
w Milli
S ITII, on Mal . Street, bas just
opened a very large assortment of
TlNtou avazoo
MILLINERY GOODS,
Which she is Selling at COST,
such aa
HATS, BONNETS, STRAW GOODS,
LACES, FLOWERS, RIBBONS,
COLLARS, H'DKERCIPFS,
&C., &C.,
I am the v
my agent in this place for
,GAS'' PATENT MUFF.
Ladies that have not noticed those Muffs will be
astonishes at - their cheapness, beauty and com
fort.
all of which will be sold much below former pri
ces. All work done promptly, and to please.
MRS. CAR9I,INE SMITH.
Wellsboro, Nov. 7, 1870—tf.
Noticei .
ALE persons indebted to D. P. Roberts by
, Book account or Notes - arerequested to call
and settle and save Costs, at G. W. Merrick's
office.
Feb. 1,1871,41
... E. 4:20,......-yr,
JEwELI , R,
MANSFIELD, PA.
Tr EEPS U constantly on hand, ELGIN M
`. IS. WALTHAM and SWISS WATCH
,: ES, Marine, Alarm A Calendar CLOCKS,
SILVER SPO.OIVS,
Plated Spoons ar --- ;e - Fetks; Table, Butter and
Fruit Knives; Cups, Caslars_and Cako Baskets;
Napkin Rings ; Cream Salt Sliga and Mustard
Spoons; Fine Gold and Agate Rings, old Pens
r a
cy and
,11
and Pencils; Solid Gold Sets;
Pearl
Plated Buttons ; Watch Guards and Chains, Ac.,
A large stock of SPECTACLES, GLASSES, and
Colored Glasses, all at reduced prices.
N. B.—Watches and Jewelry neatly Repaired.
March 1, 1871. -- ~
A. B. EASTMAN,
OPERATIVE AND MECHANICAL
DENTIST.
•
Office opposite Cone House, Wollsboro, Pa. All
opeaations neatly, and carefully performed. Sat
isfaction guaranteed at 'live and let live prices.
FPI3 22, 1871 tf
TN DIVORCE.—To Henry J. Mowery: You
are hereby notified that Harriet E. Mowery,
by her next friend, Moses Smith, has applied to
the CCurt of Common Pleas of Tioga county for
a divorce from the bonds of_matrimony, and
that said Court has appointed Monday, the 29th
day of A l it?, 1871, for the hearing of said ap
plicant i he promises;
on which occasion you
can atten if you think proper.
April 5, 187 L4w E. A. PIM, Sheriff.
THE SINGER
Manufacturing Company,
AT THE WORLD'S FAIR,
—Constituted by the homes of the people—
Received the Great Award of tho
HIGHEST SALES !
And have left all rivals far behind them, for they
SOLD IN 1870
ONE HUNDRUD AND TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND,
EIGHT ITUNDP.ED AND THIRTY THREE MACHINES!
being more than forty tholze9nd in advance of.
their - sales of the previous year, and °vet forty -
four hou'sandpore than the sales of any lother
Company forB7o, as shown by the following
figures from t. WORN rettirns of the sales of
Licenses.
_, I
The Singer Elanufaetnring•Company
sold over the,Florencle Seising
4 --Ma ch i 7) e Co
Sold over the Wilcox- & Gibbs Sew-
ing Jfachine,Co., 98,943 do,
Sold ondr the Weed Setcing.3fa-
chine Co.,
Sold over the Grover & linker
Sewing Machine Co., • 10,431 do .
Sold over the/low Machine CO., 52,677 do.
Sold over the Whce/or cf--- Wilson
Nanofacturing Co.,
all of which id main') owing to the popularity
of what is known as tho "NEW FAMILY SEWING-
MeCtingE,'Lwhich is norr• fast finding its way
into every well regulated household.—For Cir
culars giving full particulars of Machines, their
Folding Cases of many varieties of wood and
finish, their Attachments for numerous kinds of
work, which, till recently, it was thought that
delicate fingers alone could perform, as well as
particulars about all articles used by their Ma
chines, such as Twist, Linen Thread, Spool Cot
ton, Oil, ke., kc , apply to any of their Author
ized Agents, or to
TRE SINGER . MANUFACTURING CO.
. ,
458 • Broadway, New York. Philadelphia
Office 1101 Chestnut St.
March 22, 1871-U.
IN DIVORCE.I—To Noah Allen : You aro
hereby notified that. Adana Allep, , by her
next frichd, .f. B Reynolds, has appiiod to the
Court of Comtm,n Fleas of Tioga county for a
divorce from the bonds of matrimony, and that
said Court has appointed Monday, the 29th day
of May, 1871, for the hearing of said , applicant
in the promises; on which occasion you may
attend if you think proper.
April 12, 1571 E. A. FISH, Sheriff.
Manhood : How' Lost, How Restored.
La. j
I T Just published , a new edition of Dr.
41 1 ! kr Cuiverwell s Celebrated Essay on the
...f.,- t 2- radical cure (without medicine) of Sper
v matorrheea, or Seminal Weakness, In
voluntary Seminal Losses, Impotency) Mental and
Physical /ncapacityf Impedimenta to Marriage, etc.,
also Consumption, Epilepsy, and fits,lnduced by sell
I ndulgence or sexual extravagance. • _ _ .
Price, in a sealed envelope, only ° cents. -
The celebrated author, In this. admirable essa7,
clearly demo'nstrates from a thirty, years' successful
practice, that the alarming consequences of self-abuse
may he radically cured without the dangerous n6O of
internal riledfefue or the application of the knife;
pointing out a mod )Of cure at once simple, certain.
and etfertual. by means of which every sufferer, no
matter what big condition'may be, may cure himself
cheaply, Privately and radically.
This lecture should be in the bands of every youth
and every man in the land.
Font under seal, In a plain envelope, to any address,
postpaid on receipt of six °outs or two post etarisper
Also. Or. Cul verwelPs "Marriage Guide," prlc6 - 26
cents, Address the Publishers,
OH AB. J.C. KLINE & CO,
127 Broadway, Now York,Poet•Ol2ce_Box 41,680.
April 6,1871-Iy.
I
ery
D. P. ROBERTS
110,173 Machines
92,831 do
45,625 do
ej( l - 1
RAILWAY TIM E T4BLEI3.
$ -.,
ERIE. RAIMAY.
ON and after hiOIDAYi . -Dee. 6, Zto, Trains
will loaveoorning, at the following h nrs,vlz :
Goma Wier
5,44 A. M., NIGHT' EXPRESS (Mondays excepted)
for Buffalo, Dunkirk and the West.
6,06 A..l4„linitlT =ROBS doily, (B,lb A. M. for
Rochester, Sundays excepted) fcr Buffalo, Dna-
kirk, and the west.
6.00 A. M., WAY PRRIGUT for Rochester, SAW
days excepted.
10,25 A.M., MAIL TRAIN ; Sundays excepted for
Buffalo and Dunlsirk.:
12,05 P. M. ; WAY PBBROBT, Sundays °seep t ed,for
Liornellsvillo. ' -
2,00 A.M., BALTIMORE REP., Sundays excepted,
or Roohatiter and Biffalo,via Avon.
45,30 P. M., EIMIGRANID TRAIN, daily, for the West.
7,35 F. M., DAY EXPRESS, Sundays excepted, (7,45
P. hI., fox Rochester,) for Buffalo and the west.
12.13 A. M„ EXPRESS MAIL,' Sundays excepted,
for Buffalo; Dunkirk. and the West.
12,13 A. M., NIGHT BXPRIF.SS, Sundays excepted,
connecting at Neiv.York'with afternoon trains
and steamers for the New England Cities.
4,45 A. M., CINCINNATI EXPRESS, Mondays ex.
cepted, connecting at New Jereey with train°
for Philade. Baltimore and:Waehington.
2,07 P. M., ACCOMMODATION TRAIN, for Elmira,
Sundays exCepted.
11,28 A. M., DAY EXPRESS, Sundays excepted,
connecting - .at Jersey City ;with midnight Ex -
press trail:ller Philadelphia, .
12,15 P M., STISCIIIEILSNPA WAY, daily,
11,40 A. AL, WAY PEEIGHT,Snadays excepted.
4.30 P- id., DIVISION MAU, - Sundays excepted.
7.44 11. M.. LIGHTNING EYPRESS, daily, can
. ing at Jersey City 'swirl' morning Express train
for Baltimbtoaud Waehtngton.
BAGOIAGE Cliptolilin-THROUGII.
0^- A revised and complete"PecketTircie Tnblo"of
Phssenger Trains on the grie Railway and connecting
Lines,has recently been published ,and can be procnr•
ed onapplication ;to the Ticket Agent of the Clinnpany
WM .It . ii ARlt, ! L. D. RUCKER ,
Gen'l Pass.AgenthGen'lStip't.
:
Illoosburg & Corning, &Tioga 8. 11
Tialna will run as follows - tinpl further notice
GOING NORTH FROM TIOGA.
No. 2, 2.85. N 0.4, 9,28. N 0.6, 5,34. No. 8, 8,22
No.lo, 11,85. No. 12, 12,12. No. 14, 5,50. No. 16.
13,20. No. 18, 11,12.
GOING EOM' FROM TIOGA
No.l, 0,28.1 % N0. 3,4,66,'N0. 6; 6,01. No. 7, 1,15
No. '4, 7,20. No:11, 10,18. N0.18 ; 1,42.
• L.U.SItATTIICK,Supg.
Northam Centrain.R.
M!=l
TRAINS FOR THR NORTH.
TrainsforCanandagnialewre Elmira as follows :
Accomodation at 712 p m
Exprose[fastest train oil road] " *ll
8 65 am
Mall
'lO OPm
'
Accommodation 1 " 615 pm
I I
On and after Dec. +5, 1870, trains wilkarriv e and
depart from Troy, as follows; 1 ,,
LEAVE NORTHWARD..
024 p. m.—Dally (except Sundays) for Elmira and
Bnffalo,Via Etio Railway from Elmira;
10 14 a. m.--Dally(except Stindaya)for Elmira ,Bnffa
lo,Canandalgua,Boolietter, Snap .Bridgeand the
Canadas.
LEAVE SOUTHWARD.
966',A. m.—Dally(except Sundays) for Baltimore,
Washington,Pbiladelphia,&c.
7 07 P. m.—Dally (except Sundays) for Baltimore,
Washington and Philadelphia.
isIiiILFRED A. FISKE ED . B .YOUNG
Betel Sup tilarrisburg , • Gon'lPass.Ag't
Baltimore,Bld
Arrival and Departure of Stiges.
HE Stages running over
the different routes from
"T - 11 - tie depart anti
. TO.
• .e.`:‘' ~ firrlia.as- follows tom tire
e..•....~.
w t, owes:
. . 3 0/0 03
WittLepolto h Tiotie.—Depart & a 10, a. tn., arrive 1M
and 7 o'clock p i
•
WELLEInoao & litexerzyn.—Depart Ba. m., arrive 6 p,m
WELLSBOII.O k Counsmalowx.—Dep. Mon. & Thur. 2 p; in: ,
arrive Idenday,&niursday at 12. m,,, . .
WEL CD DOR o & JET= IrSninia.—Dopart Mon.! Thur. OR m
errivoTumdayes kti.s p.m
WELLBDOTIO & STONT F22.2.--Dep. Tram & Friday at
p. m., arr. Thee. & Friday:at 12 in,
• 1
JEWELRY STORE!
WELLSB6RO, PA.
mr.404 . AND/21297 volmr,
.fair • :•. , .
who hes logs been esigh
0, ' ; sl i t !lobed ' in the Jeweirtbnii;
~,, A•q c o ..
e, , ) ?cne3 5 . i n :Wellaboyo; ban egl
aft \ . A r... 74 ways .on male, varlone
W-- „
_.,.
_...---_:-- kinds and prices of
AMERICAN WATCOES,
GOLD OR SILVER' CLOCKS, JEWEL
RY, GOLD
.CHAINS,•KEYS, RINGS,
;PINS, PENCILS, CASES, GOLD &
STEEL PENS, 'THIMBLES,
SPOONS, RAZORS,
.PLA- ,
TED WARE,
•
SEWINC MACIINES,
a., £c„ &a._
With most other articles usually kept in such
establishment, which is sold low for
C A S "H.
Repairing done neatly, and promptly, and on
hurt ,NOTICE. A. FOLEY.
January 1, 1871-y.
ATTENTION FARMERS . !
PLASTER
ANY quantity on hand atthe Elk Run Plaster
Mill, 4 miles from Gaines. 'Price 15'00 per
ton.
VERMILYEA 3c BENAUER.
Jan. 25tb, 1871.-3 m .
TN DIVORCIS.--To Richard Bush: Ton are
hereby notified that Ellon
,81. - ilusb, by her
next friend, David P Roberts, has applied to
the Court of Common Pleattof Tioita county for
a divorce from the bonds' of matrimony, and
that said Court has appointed.llionday, the 29th
day of May, 1871, for the hooting of said appli
cant in the premises; on which' occasion you
may attend if you think proper. - ,
April 5, 1871 4w E. A. FISH, Sheriff.
N DlVORCE.—Tollarriet 'Wilson : You are
I
hereby notified that George Wilson has ap ;
plied to the Court ,Qf Comme.n Pleas .ofaiogii
county for a 41'w:roe-from the bonds of matrimo
ny, and that said Court has appointed Monday,
the 29th day of Slay; 1871, .for the hoaring of
said applicant In the premises on which occa
slot you can attend if yon think proper.
April 5,1871 4w E. A. FISH, Sheriff.
Administrator's Notice.
N
OTICE is hereby giien that the Adminis
trators bf the estate of Chao. B. Phelps,
deceased, will soll, 14iblio van due, at the late
residence of.decedent in the Borough of Maria=
Said, on Thursday, dUrril 2Ti1871, 'the following
personal property, belonging to said estate ' to
wit : 1 cow, 1 heifer, 1 pig, about 28 cords of
stove wood, about 28-yards of carpet, a quantity
of Oil C10th;.2.. - stov.es._ 3 ,tables,-2.4airrom
clock, several trunks, 2 bedsteads.- cookatove,
pipe and furolture,_a lot ofmiseellateotui Books;
,wgittpg desk arid book case, and; several other
demesne utensils too numerous-to mention.
April 15, 1871-2 w. B. A.
U. PUBLPOIIB,
0. 13=11R,
Admialstrators.
i' , ,;, 2 f'.,140,t,i}-,'l
Vr4IISBORO,
,POET'S COINER.
,
We prim' me few will • agree with no in Pro
nouncing this the best short poem 'that-Ansa
Cary ever. wrote, thoughill•will agree that ft is'
good, every. way.
NO RING.
BY ALICE Clearr,.
What is it that both spoil the fair adorning
Withiw,hioh her body ahe would dignify,
When from her bed ahe rhea in the morning
To comb, and pia% and tie
Her hair with ribbons colored like the sky ?
Wbat is it that her pleasure digoonsposes
When she would sit and sing the - sin Uwa3y•-•
Making her see dead roses in red roses,
And. jn the dewfall gray
A blight that seecrui the world to overlay
. . . .
What is it makes the tretabling look of trouble
About her tender month and eyelids fair?
Ah me ah me I she fools her heart beat double,
Without the mother's prayer,
And her wild fears are more than she can bear, '
To tho poor'sightless lark now powers are given,
Not only with a golden tongue to sing,
But still to make her wavering way toward heaven
With lindiscerning wing;
But what to her doth her sick sorrow bring ?
Her daYajhe turns, and yet kebps overturning,.
And her flesh; shrinks, as if she felt the rod ;
For, !gainst.her will, she thinks hard things con
cerning .
The everlasting sod,
An. ,n ato be inconsate, like the clod. ,
Sweet Heaven,
The saintly charities Oil
Sho was so poor in everything bit ho
she loved much—loved much!
Would, Lord, sho bad thy garment's hem to touch.
Haply, it Wae the hungry-heart within her,
The woman's heart, denied its natural right,
That made her be the thing men calla slow,
Even in her own despite. .•
Lord, that her•jadgea might receive their sight !
—Atlantic Monthly
31 - iscELE,A.N.Eo us.
[Correspondence of the Agitator.]
Hnnassnuno, April 12, 1871.
A. Trip via Pine Grove to Pottsville:
Having occasion to visit some friends
in Pottsville, I determined to take a
new line of travel, as the old route by
way of Reading had become too monot
onous for my active imagination; there
fore I selected the above route as the
one most likely to meet the demands.
Leaving 'Harrisburg at 3:90 P. M., we
proceed up the Philtufelphia-and Er/e'
road to Dauphin, and turn - thence to
the right, through a gorge in the moon
tains. We were whirled rapidly. thro'-
their sinuosities and short curvinge, at
the great 'risk of being - thrown from
the track, or colliding with some pro
jecting rocks that almost overhung the
road bed. For a distance of twenty
miles, the country is a mountainous,
barren wilderness, houseless and home
lest+, save some small stations erected
7 by the company, which bear the eupho
nious names of " The Forge," " The
Tank," " Roush Gap"—but I could not
seplthe gap—" Cold Spring" and "Bear
,aap," until we emerge into an .open
country, and are suddenly greeted with'
.a !view of Pine Grove, situated at the
junction of two streams in a glen of
the mountains, presenting a thriving,
business like appearance, with many
fine residences, and large stone church
es; with spires pointing heavenward.
The afternoon was one of the most
disagreeable that Could be imagined,
the rain pouring down in torrents, spat
tering against the windows and rat
tling on the roof; and a person must
baie been in a very happy frame of
'mind, to enjoy the surrounding scene
ryor note many of the peculiarities of
the region ; consequently I determined
to return by the same route,, and, wea
ther, perm itt to make dottings by
the wayside. thriving at Pottsville, I
became the guest of Hon. James Ryon,
President Judge of that district, and a
more entertaining, hospitable• family it
would be hard to find this side of the
chivalrous South.
,Refreshed by a night's rest and tlio
good things provided at the table, I
prepared myself for an earl departure,
and with pencil and paper, a flask of
Schuylkill's classic Water, reduced in
the pioportion o one water to twelve
"old rye," (as I prefer weak drinks,)
• and with the goo -byes and Well-wish
es of my friends, I stepped aboard the
eight o'clock mo ning train for Harris
burg. For the fl t thirty or forty miles
there is nothing unusually attractive,
not until we pass the limits of Pine
Gtrove, and then, " Welcome, ye des
erts and ye caves ; my native land good
night." The weather was most delight
ful—a• bright sun overhead, and the
balmy breath of an April morning to
exhilarate the spirits; everything in
happy contrast with the day previous;
I entered into the spirit of the occasion,
with all the vim of a connoisseur.—
Mountains on the right, and mountains
on the left, the narrow gorge through,
which our road lay, beside a meander
ing - stream, was one vast surface of
rocks, boulders in forra, piled one upon
another, and 'Wedged together as if by
some great convulsion of nature. Stun
ted.trees, and some of larger growth,
were thickly standing along the entire
route, and thn great mystery to me was,
Where , couldi they spring from, and
'what supported their growth? as not a
particle of soil was perceivable to 'the
naked eye, and the roots wormed and
twisted around the rocks, and delved
between • their crevices in search Of some
small particle of mother- earth upon
which to feed their Blunted and shriv
•oiledi branches.
The 'mountains rose abruptly upon
either side, to the height of a thousand
feet or more, their sides completely cov
ered with boulders and stunted trees
and laurel,—a fit place for serpents and
vile creeping things to hold high car
nival' in. Upon two of the highest
peaks are huge masses of rocks, - piled
high above the mountain's range,' and
at a distance present an appearance that
strongly reminds one of apclent castles
and donjon keeps. With a very small
stretch of the imagination, (and I had
already prepared , mile with 'frequent
libations from my flask of Schuylkill
water,) I could picture the outlines of
some_ old baronial castle, with tower.
and, minaret, bastion and parapet, port
califs, moat and drawbridge, with war
der at the call, and walls with bristling
'culverins. I become enchanted with
the scene-:-I renew my acquaintance
with my flask— . l quote poetry,, again
wet ,my lips, and become jubilant ; I
.eee th . eold baron in his hall, his knights
and squires around him, his armor
hanging on the wall y and dew, in leash
es baying for the call. I see the ancient
, :* f • y i, , 4 -.;... 7.
v t-:1 , : ., ‘_,-- -
7 ' 7 ' : = - •r 4 •
11 rain down upon her
for such;—
:-
e- .
, ""\. "N \
d ,l I
r k •
•
, . _
. ,
t-A-4:-.4PR1L , 26, 187 L
EIII
REEN
1 1.;k:,•`-
. I .4 l rPClikehelllll:ioo4eSt music to
the hie*s - hold, and 'courtly m a.
trop icktinking'in hertspestried boudoir,
surranadot I by throng.—
34olirldng this enchanting scene would
hainheld thuicentranced, lam un
nble eitY.:_ Mj* mind was completely
abOrbtd in this one , contemplation ;
was oblivious to all around I reckoned
not the flight of time, the shriek of the
engine, or the cars rattling - along over
their stony bed ; I no longer saw the
stunted shrubbery or rugged boulders
along the gorga,—but with eyes- intent
upon the fast receding moniktikin peak,
the land of fanny and Hof dream's, lonce
more placed my magic/task to my lips,
with one desperate effort to bring:My
self:ha* to the realities of my Eiurroun
when,;oh, horror of horrors ! the
flask Was empty ! E 3 omi a traveling
mountebank; taking advantage ofany
entire absorption in nature's wonders,
bad robbed me of my brightest jewel.
I now replaced the empty, useless' cas
ket, and with a look of withering con
tempt upon the most adjacent passen
gers, I sank into a land of dreams.
T
la
,4
BcALEVABBt i n uE. ' ),
To your - readers who have never at
tended a masked ball, X propose to give
a Short chapter of my experience. The
citizens of Harrisburg, not to be out
done by Philadelphia, determined to
give a ball that should outrival any like
occasion of ancient or modern times.
he selection of masks and apparel was
ma otn all the cities around us, and
represents elapses from the middle
ages to the present time. I had no in
tention of joining in the festivities of
the occasion, but simply to be a looker
on ; consequently about ten o'clock in
the evening I wended forth, solitary
and alone, to the place of rendezvous.
A fee of •one dollar gave admission, to
the hall, or the gallery of the hall, as
spectators were not allowed to commin
gle with the masked revelers( Fo r
some time .I enjoyed the burlesque/the
quaint features and wild antics of the
performers with some- degree of satis
faction; but after the first novelty of
the scene has passed, a person wishes to
come into closer juitaposition to the
phantasmagoria, or, as "A. W a r d"
says, becbme one of them ; and I being
one of those that constitutionally re
quire exercise, was not long in deter
mining a line of action. Proceeding, to
the dressing room, I inquired the rent
o f a suit for the evening, and being
sliewn several of different callings,
learned that I could be completely met
amorphosed for- the small pittance of
five dollars. Being of a romantic turn
of mind, I wished to appear before the
audience as•" Don Quixotte," that fa
mous knight of chivalry, in , search of
his lost Dulcinea ; but in my haste and
excitement I mistook the knight for
the squire, and jumped into the habili
ments of " Sancho Palma." Accou- 1
tred a.sl was, with all the lofty pride of
the ancient knight, and determined to
outriVal my_ worthy ancestor for the
price; leas ushered into the hall and
introdtteett-nk the name, style and title
represented in my regalia. Then com
menced the labors of the evening. I
was to succor the oppressed, couch my
lance in defense of the right, avenge
fanciednr committed Injury to females,
in fact to make their cause my own
and fight therefor, upon my honor's
pawn and spur of kingly knighthood.
My first experience was the protecto
rate of ancient "Queen Bess," who,
judging from her squeaking, piping
tones, must at least have passed her fif
ty brief summers in " Afric's sunny
clime." I don't speak positively, but
in defending her from the assaults of a
lawless banditti, I was getting the worst
of the bargain, until my laggard squire
opportunely, for once, came to the res
cue. I had had enough of " Queen
Bess," and, in a homely phrase, "shook
her," and sought honors in other fields.
A tall and queenly demoiselle, habited
in the somber costume of a nuu, atten
ded by a Francis Can monk, who was
constantly counting her beads and say
ing her " Ave Marian," seemed to me
an object worthy of my chivalry, and
I sought the opportunity of freeing her
from the meshes of the Romish Church
and restoring her again to her family
and friends. With all the eloquence of
an ardent admirer, I poured into her
ears an impassionate tale of never-end
ing love, a beautiful home in some se
questered nook, gladdened and beauti
fied by her presence, the singing of
birds, the sweet odor of fragrant flow
ers, the ripple of tiny fountains, the
echo of heavenly music, and, to con-
I elude the picture, the prattle of Juno
cent children, that would in time glad
, den our home and make merry the kive
longl day. This was 'too much ; I had
overdone the thing, and by her unmis
takable exhibitions of anger, I was
forced to beat a hasty retreat and seek
safety amid the crowd that thronged
the ball. My next encounter was with
`in Italian Countess, one who seemed
- to be more reserved and alone than the
great majority in attendance; and hav
ing learned by experience that discre •
tion was the b etter part of valor, I pro
ceeded to reconnoiter' the situation.—
My advances Were well timed, and , met
with reciprocatton. I could recall some
Latin sentences, learned in my school
days, which Were readily understood
by heil and we soon became the Romeo
and Juliet ofi the occasion. All was
bliss; and in, my,gladness I cried "Eu
reka.), We; anced together and waltz
ed in true Italian style, (I am a grace
ful dancer,) and all went merry as a
marriage bell. When wearied with ex
ercise, we promenaded on the piazza of
the hall. She was intelligent, and I
was literary. The moon was shining
in all the splendor of a full grown orb,
and the myriad of stars glimmered' in
the arched firmament. I gave her a
history of thoSe far off worlds of light;
(I had learned, it in Peter Parley's ge
ography,) and, the settled theory that
thpy were p pled like • our earth ; of
the Aurora Bo ealis, as an incandescent
light, Caused. b a rush of electricity to
the north pole and of the deep, dark
blue of illimi , ble space, as a halo of
i ,
rarefied atmosphere surrounding those
millions of worlds. Wrapped in these
ponderous reflections, she was a silent
listener to my abstruse theories. Be
lieving the ice to i 'behroken, I besought
her to tell me her history, parentage,
place of residence and future,prospects.
the answered , rue in`;some' :vague ex
pressions, not suitable, as ',thought; for
the solemnity pf the occasion, and soon
resumed her inexplicable reticence. I
could not endure the suspense ; the Ru
bicon had been crossed, the El Dorado
11
1111
. ,
•,-,•-:. , J;:„.; • I.; '..',.- ',:.,.. , . , , ve , - .
'• c' •14 •;“ ' ~ _ . ...., , -.-
; I ,' • ;-1. )
,':'
•k - ' ( .
• ..... . ~..... ~......• '.._ ....
-..,_
MIN
MS
of poninlAal bliss. was _photographed
befOre me, I had forgotten :Don
Otte, and all the world, save tloikoVelyt
being 6S,Side too; I wa l e pouring in hp_r
willing ar a tale of - never-ending love,
vows which, if ev e r brOken, should
,make mos, wandering vagabond in the
earth ; and in my delirium of joy had
seized her hand, which sent an electric
thrill through Out my frame; the moon
shone brighter; and every star seemed
to'be of the' first magnitude; my, cup
of - haPPinesti run over, earth bad no
brighter Apot, heaven no . higher hope;
thnpast, present and future were cen
tered-1w the one word, pow ;—When,
alas r shall I say it? the nectar-W.lin
ined'ehpfwas dashed froth my lips.
waS'eonfronted by a Mons r, who
claimed' my lovely Dulcinea as his wife,
or4cT,ed 4er. within, and turned - all hie
pent up fury, upon my innocent head.
His mask thrown off, 1 saw at once that
the green eyed monster,, jealousy, had
poSsesSion of him. I apologized atone
tithe,-showed signs Of anger aanother,
but all of no avail: He bad teen a ei.,
•
lent Witnetis of the scene, and demand=
ed iixinsiediate satisfaction,: Here Wila a
dilernnia; an unexpected' denotiment,
and only remedy was to' compro
mise:. I cursed my ill luck;atid wiahed
Don Quikotte and all masked' balls 'in
France; and , to close the matter, pro
posed _a .private conference. We. de
scended;-and-after having removed my
borrowed p are I, I demanded his
terms. ,They were exorbitant and Ml
reaonOle, tufd.watching my opportu
nity I jumped through a window; lau
ded in the middle of an onion bed, tum
bled over a fence, and made direct for
my hotel. I have - had enmigh Of mask
ed balls ; I'm not at home there. Let
thosOviiholike them - attend, but here
after I giVOthem' a wide beith. "So
eudeth the chapter."' X-27.
[For .the rgitator.]
THE SHIRT OF NESSUS, &C.
At?. VanGelder :—.I will try to answer
youk correspondent " L. A. D.," aitbo'
I cannet - Vonclx for the - truth of all the
stories we raid, of ancient gods, heroes
and other mythological personages.
Nessus was one of the ancient cen
taurs, a race of giants, ,who inhabited
mOstly , mount Pelion, Thesialy. Nes
hOweVer,"was said tO 'save resided
on the hanks of the river Evenus, and
acted as - a kind of boatlessi ferryman,
carrying paSsengerB across the river on
his shoulders. This is about all that is
known of Nessus, except that he was
a very good natured giant, but unscru
pulouSly fond of the women, and ex
cept as Connected, with Hercules and
the famous shirt.
" t.. A. D."' doubtless ktuiws that
Hercules was a' giant also; but giants
are as apt to fall in love as small folks,
and so he fell , in: love with Deiatara, the
daughterof Bite - ohm, the jolly hod, and
Althtea, the daughter of an jiEtolian
king. I But aiDeianira was a very love
ly young maiden, Hercules had a rival
in the person'of Achelous, the god of a
river of the same name, and, of course,
in accordance with the custom of those,
early days,
they fought; Achelous was
whipped, Hercules married the girl,
the defeated rival changed himself into
a mad bull, came at Hercules with his
horns, and was again most unmerciful
-IST whipped.
The marriage, however, was most un•
fortunate for Hercules; for having ac
cidentally killed a young boy, named
Eunomous, he went voluntarily into
exile, in accerdatiee with the custom of
the country. Barefoot and alone, they
two, Hercules and his lovely wife, star
ted fora foreign land. Canting, in their
journey, to the river Evenus, Hercules,
like a good husband, as he was, hired
the centaur Nessus to take his wife up
on his and carry_ her across,
while he, with his bow and quiver and
other traps, waded across also. Nessus
having the longest legs got over first;
and fiom the verdant shore toward
which he was slowly wending, and
while still in the Middle , of the stream,
Hercules heard a hrill Scream, which
he knew to be that of his wife. Drop
ping his other traps,' he seized a poison
ed arrow, drew his bow, and shot Nes
sus through the body. Nessus, as some
atonement for the attempted outrage,
told Deianira that if she would save his
blood as'it ran fro his body, it would
ever after preserve the love of her hus
band, which, of eo rse, beluga woman,
she believed.
After this tiercu es achieyed a great
many victories, an among them took -
CEchalia, killed Etirytus, the king, and
his sons, and carried off his daughter
role. After a while, Delanirti began to
think there was a snake in the potato
hole, or, td speak more classically, - she
smelt a rat. About this time her hus
band erected an altar to Jupiter, on the
promontory of Hubcea, and sent home
to his'wife for a clean white shirt to
wear during sadrifice. Dolan ira t the
shirt of Nessus, whiCh she had stripped
off him - when he died, thinking this
would preserve him' from the love of
tole.
Hercules put on the sh irt furnished
him by his wife, went to work will?
will at the sacrifice, sweat profusely,
and 'when the shirt became warm upon
him, the poison penetrated all his limbsi
and caused him the most excruciating
agony. ' He seized by the feet Lichas,
who had brought Mtn the shirt, and
threw him headlong into the sea. He
wrenched off the garment, but it stuck
to his flesh, and with it he tore away
great pieces of his body. In this con
dition he was carried home, and his
wife, seeing what she had unwittingly
done, went and hung herself with her
apron strings.
Poor Hercules! He was carried up
to the top' of - mountCEta by - his own
command, where a great' funeral pyre
was built, hiixiself laid 'upon it, the pile
set on, fire, and, amid peals of thunder
and flashes of lightning, he was carried
up, mid clouds of smoke, to "h i g h
Olympus," where be was honored with
imniortality, became reconciled to the
goddess Juno, with whom he = had for
therly quarrelled, Married her daughter
Hebe, became the father-of a nice fam
ily of children, bad sacrifices offered to
him as a great hero, and was worshiped
throughout all Greeeei as a god.
That's all there is about it. Recol
lect, I don't vouch for the truth of all
this.
MonAL.—Be careful to know that the
shirt is your own before you put it on,
- and don't always rely on the women
for the selection of your small clCibei,
I have known them to be mistaken,
though not often., Yours, (to.
,J. E.
'p.. S. I'll tell - your ' corres pondent
about Nemesis next week.
RBI
... ;
,
• , .1 7
I,
,ElAtoi. of Agitator: --I was requested
iby several of the inhabitants of Tloga
.county to write to them concerning the
Western cil'untry, and I don't know o 1
any easier way to do so than to trans
mit aletter to them through your col
umns. I will commence by giving a
description of the country west °kin-
Chiliad. We took passage for St. Louis
from Cincinnati via of the Ohio and
Mississippi railroad. We soon struck
the southern portion of Indiana!, and I
must,sa3r it looked everything but invi
ting. Imagine to yourself a vast ex
-panse of country; interspewith
recky Wire - and wet, ma b y prairie
,
i rd
lands, which fairly make a p piton shake
with the fever and ague, ju t to look at
it ;'and Yon will have soil) just con
ception of that portion of I dianathro'
which we'passed. In orderuto give you
some Insight in regard.to the character
of the people who inhabit this section,
I would cite your attention to the fol
lOWing conversation, which love r
heard, in regard to a village, or rather
a station, called Seymour, whiCh 'we
were rapidly approaching. The parties
who were discussing the question, were
-two gentlemen,, one of them a citizen
-of Seymour, and the, ther agentleman
who was making some inquiries about
the place, with a view of stopping there
a few diva. The interrogator opened
(Tut on him in this manner :
" I understand You are a citizen of
Seymour ?"
" WoII, yes, I reckon I um."
" Whdt kind of a place is Seymour ?"
" Woll, stranger, it,ks a pietty rough
town ; money is scarce; there was a
man knocked down and robbed of five
cents recently."
- At this point in the conversation the
interrogator seemed satisfied, for he re
lapsed into a state of gloomy abstract
edness, which even the cry of Seymour,
as we brought up to the station, failed
to arouse him from.
We crossed the line of demarcation
between Illinois and Indiana, some
where In the vicinity of Vincennes.—
From this point to St. Louis the coun
try' was better for agricultural. and gra
zing purposes than any we had discov
,ered after tf
_leaving Cincinnati.. B ,t
there is just Ode . evil lurking through
,thii section of the Western country,
•and that's this: there is too much wet
and marshy prairie land to 'insure a
healthy atmosphere.
At last we arrived at •St. Louis, the
grand metropolis of th e southwest,
where we stayed over night, and in the
morning proceeded on our westward
journey,• by the' Missouri and Pacific
railroad. On our right lay'the bread
•and' tranquil waters of the Missouri,
winding its way along to join_ the
ther of Waters, the Mississippi ; while,
on Mir left loomed up high and rocky
cliffs. Here we are in a tunnel ; eve
rybody looks alike now for a, few. min
utes. Out of that, and away we go
again. This portion of Mistiouri is ill
ther unprepossessing, and remains so
until we arrive at Jefferson City. Af
te4 leaving 'Jefferson City we passed
over one hundred miles of as nice far
ming country as I ever saw, and the
soil is unsurp - assed l in fertility. If the
readers of the Agitator can find any
thing interesting inr my letter, why all
right; and you may! ; expect to hear from
me again soon. - 4 It. T. MARKS.
Mr. Editor :—The birds were flying
north ; so I followed them. But I was
sorry to leave so early. I wanted to see
your beautiful village when it had put
on its "spring fashions." It• seems
nestled down so cozily anyong the green
hills, I imagine it must IA a 'very plea •
sant place in the summer. When I left,
the robins and bluebirds were filling
your Streets with music a great deal
richer and sweeter than any that the
" Swiss Bell Ringers" could produce.
(By the way, I stood out of doolls for
an hour, waiting to hear their !bells
when they came into town, but did,not
hear them.) Ij
On our way out in the stage, We pass
ed along by the track of the new rail
road that is soon to be. I could seem
to see the old -iron horse, with his big,
sharp-eye peering around among your
hills. This says " progress."
But one thing I want to knov, before
I agree to stay long in Wellsboro: F an
you raise grapes? I can't liye without
grapes and the beautiful vine ;4ey are
to me the emblem of all grace / a n d
beauty.
There were two things I wanted to
take with me when I left Wellsboro :
a pair of tame pigeons, that came down
every day to the door of the post office,
and Somebody's blessed " baby boy,"
But I suppose the latter " could , ut tee
had," anyhow.
I want to say to you privately; that I
like your paper, andi have said so to
others,`a good Many times. I ike the
tone of it. But I don't like a patter that
is too much like Mr. Beecher's dinnetr.
Yon know he could'nt see 'whether Jt.
was flesh, fish, or fowl ; dog, cat, horse,
or mutton.
[Gerrespondence of the Agitator.]
ArOrpoi, (Eatgae,) Aprlll2, 1871.
[CorrovoiAtinco of tho Agitator.]
TRU3I+NSIIIIRG, (N. Y.,) April 18,1871
,
The best thing in Wel labor°, after the
Agitator, is the Graded School. I have
for years visited the schools, both East
and West, and I know how to appre
ciate a good school. /have never seen
any better schools than you- have i'n
Wellsboro. The facia of the children
are dear to roe; and they will not. soon
be forgotten. • Greater than your rail;
roads, or your coal mines, or your sil
ver mines, if you had them, are the in
terests of your children. In theth lies
your greatness, or your downfall. God
bless the Children.. NV; O. C.
" Now, vntleinen," said a peripatet
ic lecturer to a somewhat noisy crowd,
who had gathered at one of his seances,
" how would you like a good black
guard story All In favpr will raise
their, hands." Nine-tenthslof the hands
present went up, and there was a hush
of all noisy demonstration. The lectu
rer went on with his original subject
for a few ininutes i ,wheti some individ
al broke out, "Wherels the story?"—
" Bless you,"_was the reply, " I did not
intend to tell any such story. I only
wanted to know how many blackguards
are present." You might have heard a
pin drop any time durinQbe lecture
after that.
A lady who , had great horror • for to
bacco, got Into a - railroad carriage the
other day, and inquired ()ramie neigh
bor ; "Do you chew tobaoco air ?" "No,!
niadaxix, I don't," wan the reply, "but
I cant get you a chew if you want one."
- 1 -74 e . Agitatpr
llookBi,lobiltinthig -•llposet
. , ..
To well soli')lied with Prostioki And Typo to exec;
Onto all hi - n(11 - 0176h Work with neatmiss ana
. ..diapatoh. - -
1
Large additions of all the MO styles ,of type
have been added t 0 this dexartment.
NO. 17•
Location—Smith ikihnifeles3 Blookad Floor
y First Experience in Solirralism.
BB , 1 '4 1 4C TWAXN.
I was - a Very smart child at the age
of thi teen—an unusually smart child,
tho ght at the time. It was the
ir --
that did 'my first newspaper sorili
ling and, most unexpectedly - to me,
it stir ed up a fine sen§ation In thaUomB
Muni y. It did, indeed, and I was - very
proud of it, too.
I w,
hadhad n
flan 11
in ad ance—M subscribers, and they
paid cord-wood,_-Calkages, and - un
mark ble turnips,) and on a lucky
iuninaer's day he left town tube gone a
week, and asked , me if I thought I
dauld edit one issue of the paper 'Judi
.
iously. Ah, didn!t. I . want 'to try 1
t i.
futon was the.editor of 'the rival pa
er. He I l iad lately, been Jilted, and
ode night a frlEind found an open note
an the p or fellow's bed; in which he
stated tat he-could no longer endure
1 fe and ad drowned : himself in Bear
ii
Creek. 1 The friend ran down there
and diSOOvered Hinton wading baok to
shore! He had conclu ded he wouldn't.
The villitge was ful l of it for several
days, bu Hinton did not suspect it. I
tostit this was a fine Opportunity. I
rote an 'elaborately wretched account
or the whole matter, and then illuatra
ttd it with vilainous cuts engraved, on
t i le bottom of wooden type with ajack
nife—one of them a picture of Hinton
14 ,
ading out into the creek in his
.shirt,
with a lantern, sounding' the depth of
t e water with a walking-stick., I
t iought it was desperately funny, and
anydensely u . nconclope that there was
moral obliquity about such a pub;
qication: Being satisfied with this
effort, -I-looked about for other worlds
to conquer, and It struck me that it
would make good interesting matters to
c aarge the editor of'a neighboring coun■
ty paper with a piece of gratuitous ras
cality and "see him squirm 1" I did it -
pntting,the article into the form of a
i p . e r
n o d t t he
outrageously-not Burial of‘ 1
A oore "— an d a pretty crude parody it
as, too. Then I lampooned two prom-
Y cit o iz n en i ll because
t ey had done Inything to deserve it,
but merely becausE I thought Awes My
-duty to make the paper lively. Next I
i
gently touched up the newest stranger
the lion of the day, the gorgeous..jour-
De l ;Titian tailor from Quincy. He was a
simpering coxcomb Of the- first water
.. a ad the "loudest" dressed man in.P.he
Start.' He was an in ve t era t e woman
)•
kpler. Every week he wrote lus h
"poetry" for the "Journal" about h 9
newest conquest. His rhymes for my
week were headed "MARY IN 121.—L,"
meaning Mary in Cannibal, of course.
_But while setting up, the piece I was
nidetily riven from head to heel by
s 4
hat I regard as a perfect thunderbolt
of humor, and
,I compressed it into a
simony foot-note at the bottom, thus:
" I re will let this thing, pail',' just this
o ice ; but we wish Mr. J. Gordon
10rinels Ito understand distinctly that
Ni , e have a character to sustain, and
from this time forth, when he wants to
ciminiune with his friends in h—l, he
tr`lust select some other medium than
file columns of this journal!" 4
The paper came out, 'and I never knew
a )y little thing attract so.much atten
tion as those playful, trifles of mine.—
Ilor once thb Hannibal "Journal" was
it i r demand—a novelty it had rot ex
pbrienced before. - The whole town
44 as stirred. Hinton dropped in with
a double-barreled' shot-gun early in the
tirettoon. When he found that it was
a i lazuli, (as be called me) that had
dntie him the damage, he simply pulled
tio ears and went away ; but he threw
tq, his sit nation, that night and left town
fOr .good. The tailor tame with his,
goose and a pair of shears; but he des
pised we, too, and departed for the'
:10.tr, that night. The two itimpooned t
citizens came with threats of libel, and
Went away incensed at my insignia
(lance. The.countrY editor pranced in
)v it li a war-whoop next day, suffering
Fur blood to drink • but he ended by
"orgivillg me cordially and inviting me
I(Twit to the drug store to wash away
II animosity in a friendly bumper of
'Fah nestock's Vermifuge." It was his
ittle joke.
My uncle was very angry when he
lot back—unreasonably so, I thought,
-onsidering what an impetus 'I had
riven the paper, and considering also
that gratitude for his preservation
O ught to have been uppermost in his
Immind, inanmuch as by hie delay he had
I , 0 N. ontlerfully escaped diasectim4 tom
lallita king, libel, and getting his _head
'shot ott But he softened when he
imilc.i at the accounts and sa*. that I
had ;10'11111y booked the unparalleled
iitiniber of thirty-three new subscribers,
awl had the vegetables to shoW for it,
cord wood, cabbages, beans, and ankle
able turnips enough to run the family
for two years! —Galaxy .
" Discretion is the Better Part," Eto
The editor of the San Franolsco News
Letter is a sensible man. He is'nt go
ing to'be shot for fooling around ano
ther man's wife—not if he knows him
self., Somebody having - been shot for
that same offense, he publishes the fol
lowing notice, editorially :
All men's wives who have hith4to
enjoyed the advantage of our acquain- 1
twice, are hereby notified tha this cea
ses to day, never to be renew d. It is
with deep grief that we-disrur the so
cial relations which promised so much,
but we feel impelled thereto by the first
law of nature.,-, Our lady friends who
are married to'other and inferior men,
will please stick 'like leeches Ito their
legal protectors, and' not recognize tis
in the street. We have taken conside
rable pleasure in their society—a plea
sure which we flatter ourselves ha s
i been mutual—but this thing can no
longer be permitted to goon. We trust
;that our motive—which is pute cowar
dice—will not be misconstrued. Some
!body perishes every day for being upon'
;speaking terms with married :women,
land we do not care to 'have ~Our turn
!come round. ,Deeply grateful for thS,
past,forbearance,of aggrieved husbandsi,
tro
we make our vi and retire. ereaf
ter our nods and smiles will be lavished
: upon girls- s and: widows exclusively;—
no others need apply: Whosoever shall
attempt to introduce us to his,OwU yife,
or that_ of another man, willharegard
ed as a,conspirator against our:precious
life, and 'subject to abuse inthe columns
of this journal., Nature is strong in us,
and we do not wish to die. Whenever
we feel a desire that way, weshall treat
somebody's wife with common courtal
ey, get shot, and go to otir.reward.",
.V , j
Ls a printers "devil," and a pro
ve, and aspiring one. My unole
e" on his. paper (the "Weekly
bal jouroca,") two dollan3 a year
ME